


i can't take one step out of your world anyway

by nommonkeypie



Category: Block B
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Gen, M/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-13 21:53:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 58
Words: 196,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13579662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nommonkeypie/pseuds/nommonkeypie
Summary: But now, as he stared at the hungry vampire, those cold and vicious eyes pinning him in place, Jaehyo couldn’t help but ask himself one simple question.Had Jiho been worth the price?





	1. will i be able to erase you?

“You have to come back.”

Jaehyo stared at the young man in front of him. It had been nearly a year since he’d last seen Jihoon. He looked good but that was no surprise. Their master, no wait he was just Jihoon’s master now, only liked the best. The only fault Jaehyo could find was just how skinny Jihoon was. Then again, Jaehyo knew just how hard it was to put and keep on any weight when you were vampire chow.

“I’m not going back, Jihoonie.”

By gods that hurt to say. All Jaehyo wanted to do was run back into that house. He missed it. Oh how he missed it. The warmth. The noise. The mess. The love.

Jaehyo had only known one vampire in his life. He had known others in different households but for him, their master had been perfect. It had been a comfortable place, one that people were able to live and thrive in. There was nothing pretentious about the place. It was home. His home. Living there hadn’t been anything like the myths claimed.

Then again, Zico had been nothing like the myths.

“Hyung…”

“Jihoon, I can’t. Not now.”

Not when he still dreamed of that house. Every night since he’d left had been torture. Jaehyo didn’t want to say, didn’t want to admit, just how many times he’d woken to a tear-stained face. How many times a neighbor walking by had woken him up in a blind panic.

How many times had he dreamed of going back?

Would he even be accepted back?

He’d wondered if he’d be accepted back. Jaehyo wasn’t the first to have left but he’d also been there far longer than any other human. With Jihoon standing right here, those thoughts didn’t seem quite so real, so possible.

“I can’t go back,” Jaehyo repeated. He tried to put force behind his words but he knew he failed. The look on Jihoon’s face said it all.

“No.” Jaehyo knew he was fighting a losing battle but he didn’t have to make it easy.

\---

The moment he stepped onto the ground, Jaehyo felt the caress of magic. He smiled. “I missed you too,” he murmured. Any outsider would think he was crazy, petting and playing with the air. The current of magic that surrounded the property was like a friend, a lover, a companion. Taking a deep breath, Jaehyo wondered how he’d been able to live without magic.

Only a few steps and he was staring at the door. He’d never thought he’d see it again. Should he knock? The concept was foreign to him. That was something he’d never done before.

Reaching out, Jaehyo’s fingers traced the grooves that had been carved into the door. They were smooth now, worn with age, but he could remember when they were new and fresh.

The door opened. A young man stood there. He looked young, so impossibly young. He couldn’t be more than twenty. There was an innocence still on his face. He looked almost like a baby. The boy, because that’s what he was, stared back. Curiosity filled his expression.

“Hello,” the boy said. He grinned, it lighting up his entire face. “Are you lost?”

Yes. And so was this kid. That was sort of Zico’s trademark. He took in the lost boys.

How to explain this though? It would have been so much easier if someone else had answered, one of the ones who had known him from before. One of them would have been easier to deal with.

“Hyung! You came!”

Well that solved that.

Jaehyo nodded at Jihoon who was practically climbing over the (much shorter) kid at the door.

“Yeah, I’m here,” Jaehyo said as he stepped past the new kid. As soon as he did that, magic flooded him. Jaehyo couldn’t see anything and he could see it all at the same time. Every room in the house was overlapping in front of him. All the smells from each room wound around him. A hand on his shoulder brought him back to the entryway.

“Thanks.” Jaehyo shot Jihoon a grateful look. He could still feel the magic swirling and shifting around him. “The house…” he didn’t know how to explain it.

“Is happy you’re back,” Jihoon finished. “It’s been unhappy while you’ve been gone.”

Jaehyo winced. “Not quite the message I’m getting but okay.” He couldn’t help but rub the spot on his neck that had his most prominent bite scar. The magic in the air was hitting his weak point, striking him to remind him of what he craved so much.

“I hear you,” Jaehyo murmured, placing a hand on the wall. The wood felt warm under his fingertips, reminding Jaehyo that Zico’s magic gave life to the building, a life that Jaehyo’s own room lacked.

At least the spot for his shoes was still open. That filled Jaehyo with more joy than he cared to admit. When he turned to face the humans, Jaehyo found Jihoon all but bouncing with excitement.

“Hyung, this is Park Kyung-hyung. Kyung-hyung, this is Hyung.” Jihoon grinned as he looked between the two.

Huh?

“Jaehyo,” he said, supplying his own name. While it had been a long time since any of Zico’s boys had called him anything other than ‘Hyung’, it only seemed polite to give his name. Then he looked at Jihoon. “Kyung-hyung?”

Despite his youthful appearance, Jihoon wasn’t a kid. He was a young man, one who would be considered an adult by human standards.

Jihoon nodded. “It surprised me too but Kyung-hyung is a year old than me.”

Which still made the human far too young in Jaehyo’s eyes. He looked over the ki-Kyung, again. The young man had a youthful appearance, one that probably tricked people quite often. Plus having been added to Zico’s menagerie would have slowed down his aging process more. Being short didn’t help either, only making the young man in front of him look even younger.

“Where’s Zico? Jaehyo asked. The magic flood had ebbed, no longer overwhelming him. He could feel the auras of a few humans, smiling a little when he found Yukwon’s. But Zico’s was missing. “Sunrise is in an hour.”

Which was why he’d come now but he didn’t add that part.

Kyung was looking at him. He was trying to figure out who Jaehyo was. It was plain to see on his face. All Jaehyo could wish was good luck to the young man. Complicated didn’t even begin to scratch the surface of the situation.

“The master left to go hunting.”

Jaehyo stared. Had he heard Kyung correctly?

“Hunting?” Jaehyo repeated, not sure he could marry the idea with Zico in his head. Vampires with menageries did not hunt. It wasn’t a need for them. That’s why they kept menageries. Having one meant a safe, secure, and stable supply of blood.

Jihoon nodded, an obvious sorrow filling his face. “I told you he needed help.”

Jaehyo wasn’t in complete sync with the house yet but he reached out to feel the number of humans in the house. Counting himself, he found five. Dread filled him but he still had to ask it. “Where is everyone?”

Jihoon looked away. Kyung shrugged. “I think everyone’s around here tonight,” Kyung answered.

That couldn’t be right. It just couldn’t be. And all the humans, other than Yukwon, were practically babies. “He’s killing you all,” Jaehyo said, more to himself than to the others with him. Anger flooded him as his words sunk in. Zico was killing these humans.

Vampires needed blood to live. Or rather, they needed the essence of life that fresh blood contained. There was a sort of magic in it that vampires couldn’t generate themselves. Younger humans had plenty of potential but lacked the richness of experience. Younger humans had to be bled more often and in larger amounts in order to attempt to satisfy a hungry vampire’s blood lust.

No wonder Jihoon was so skinny.

Before Jaehyo could become too angry, it happened. Without looking, he knew.

Zico was back.

The other humans straightened, almost as if they’d been called to attention. The house’s magic swirled around them. Jaehyo had to hold onto Jihoon’s arm to keep himself from being swept away by it.

“You’re back.”

Those two simple words sent a shiver down Jaehyo’s spine.

“Jihoonie asked if I’d check on things,” Jaehyo answered, gripping the younger man’s arm. He wanted to turn and look at Zico so badly. As soon as he said the words, Jaehyo realized they might have been a mistake. The Zico he’d once known was obviously not the Zico that was here with them now.

Jaehyo closed his eyes for a moment, steeling himself for what he knew he had to do. Keeping an arm on Jihoon, Jaehyo turned around.

Zico stood in the doorway, blocking all outside light from coming into the house. And yet Jaehyo could see him perfectly. He could see the blond hair, longer than he remembered but still that beautiful blond that suited Zico perfectly. It was a surprise to realize that Jiho seemed smaller now. He’d always seemed like large presence, one who took over any space he was in.

The more Jaehyo let himself look, the more he recognized that Jiho really had shrunk. He was skinny, so incredibly skinny. He was starving. It was plain to Jaehyo’s eyes.

The anger he felt melted away. A thread still remained but it was hard to be angry when he saw Zico in this state.

“When are you planning on leaving?” The warmth that normally filled Zico’s voice was gone.

It was a fair question.

Jaehyo didn’t answer. He couldn’t. He had no idea at what to say. He walked into the next room instead.

The room was fairly large. It always had been. It had been designed and built as a meeting area. His fingers trailed along the back of the couch. Multiple sets of eyes watched him from the doorway.

Tentatively, Jaehyo reached for the strand of magic that had always tied him to Zico. It was faint but still present. He tapped it, trying to call the vampire to him. It worked both ways though and he knew he was opening himself up to Zico by doing this.

It worked though because the vampire entered the room. Jaehyo shot the window a nervous glance. Sunlight was starting to creep up around the edges of the world. This had to be quick.

Jaehyo waited a few moments until he felt the human energies move away. Jaehyo couldn’t be certain but he had a feeling Zico had nudged them away.

“What happened?” Jaehyo asked. He didn’t mean to sound so glum but even he could hear it in his voice.

Then he realized who was in the room. Zico was gone. Jiho was here in his place. Beautiful, wonderful, amazing Jiho. The one who visited Jaehyo’s dreams; the one who haunted his every step.

Jiho stepped closer. “You cut your hair,” he said, disappointment filling his voice.

Jaehyo had to fight the urge to bare his neck or cover his aching scar. He didn’t want it to become so obvious just how much being near Jiho was affecting him. He wasn’t sure if it was the house’s magic or Jiho’s own or maybe even just his body’s trained reaction but it was hard to exist this close to the vampire. Being so close to Jiho was awakening all his bite scars and they ached to be used again.

Why had he left? His body obviously craved to be used. And Jiho...he looked so frail and weak. Like a light breeze would be enough to break him. The vampire needed a good meal. These children weren’t enough to nourish Jiho. They filled him up for a few minutes but couldn’t stave off the ever-present hunger he knew Jiho felt. Only someone with richer blood, with more magic flowing through them, would do. It didn’t look like Jiho was feeding on any elderly which left few options.

He longed to bare his neck, to submit to the vampire. Fear held him back. It was terrifying just how much Jiho was able to affect him. A year had done nothing to diminish the vampire’s pull.

“I did,” Jaehyo answered. He reached up, patting his hair down.

The predator in Jiho noticed the movement. The vampire licked his thick, full lips. A hungry lust clouded his eyes. For the first time, Jaehyo felt himself relax. It was an automatic reaction, one he couldn’t help. He’d long since trained his body to expect pleasure when he saw that look.

If he submitted again, he’d never leave.

“Jiho.” He didn’t miss the smug pleasure that filled the vampire’s very aura. “What happened?” Jaehyo repeated. “It...everything was fine here when I left.”

He wouldn’t have left if he’d thought they couldn’t rebound safely. A year ago, there had been eight humans who should have been enough to feed Jiho’s voracious appetite. It would have taken a little time for everyone to re-adjust but they should have been able to do it.

That was definitely not the right thing to say. In an instant, Zico was back. The hard cruelty that marked the vampire’s return was back. Jaehyo, even with his experience of dealing with the vampire in front of him, swallowed hard. He’d seen that look before and the person on the receiving end had always been in serious trouble. He’d just never had it directed at him before.

He might never leave this house. The moment the thought popped into his head, he knew it was true. And no one would even know. Jaehyo had no one, at least, no one outside of this house. Jihoon and Yukwon would mourn him but they’d be the only ones.

He’d never realized how few people he had until that moment. Even starting over as a regular human hadn’t showed him how empty his life was. Could he even have a normal life now? The thought rang in his head over and over.

When he’d agreed to go with Zico all those years ago, it had felt like the best choice. Hell, it had seemed like his only choice. The years with the vampire had passed in an instant. He could honestly say that in all that time, he’d never regretted any of it.

But now, as he stared at the hungry vampire, those cold and vicious eyes pinning him in place, Jaehyo couldn’t help but ask himself one simple question.

Had Jiho been worth the price?


	2. thoughts i've hidden away come to me

Jihoon must have been waiting nearby. He popped his head into the room barely a moment after Zico had left.

“I’m still alive,” Jaehyo assured the younger man. “No deaths today.”

Nope, just the depressing realization of how meaningless his life was. No big deal or anything.

“Are you…?” The younger man started. He didn’t have to finish. Jaehyo knew what he was asking.

“I don’t think I have a choice,” Jaehyo said, biting back a bitter laugh. He had to come back. A year ago, he’d left. Everything in the house had been fine. He couldn’t leave the current situation.

Steps on the stairs let him know someone was coming. Jaehyo recognized the man’s aura long before Yukwon ever entered the room. He shot Yukwon a smile, glad to still see a familiar face in the house. Jihoon reached out, pulling them both into a hug. Closing his eyes, Jaehyo let himself relax in the arms of his younger brothers. He’d missed these two. They made him feel like he was home, like he was loved and wanted somewhere.

“Hyung said he’s coming back to us.” The joy in Jihoon’s voice broke Jaehyo’s heart. The young man was grinning so brightly too.

Yukwon seemed to catch on that there was something off with Jaehyo, that there was a disconnect in moods between the youngest and oldest. It shouldn’t have been a surprise. Yukwon had always been one of the more observant of his little brothers.

“Are you okay with this, Hyung?”

Good question.

In all honesty, Jaehyo wanted to cry. He had tried so hard to break free from Zico’s grasp. He’d started over, finding a room to live in. A job. Did anyone in this house even realize just how hard that had been? He’d started a life.

The relief at being accepted and needed here was overwhelming.

“You guys need me,” Jaehyo said, skirting Yukwon’s question. Mostly because Jaehyo really wasn’t sure how he should feel. He’d resisted coming back here since the moment he’d left. He felt like he was finally home again. How messed up was that?

Jihoon’s hug grew tighter. Yukwon’s smile grew thinner. And another human entered the room. Jaehyo recognized him as the young man from earlier.

“Hyung’s coming back to us!”

Ow.

“Jihoonie, you didn’t have to yell in my ear,” Jaehyo complained as he finally pulled himself out of the hug.

“It’s good news,” Jihoon answered. “Hyung’s finally returning.”

Guilt flooded him. When he’d left, Jaehyo had been focused on himself. He hadn’t realized or thought about the little brothers he’d left behind.

“Yes,” Jaehyo said. Patting Jihoon on the shoulder, Jaehyo finally said the words he’d been avoiding. “I’m coming back.”

Bless Yukwon. At least, that was the thought running through Jaehyo’s head when Yukwon yawned because Jihoon began yawning too. A glance out the window showed a beautiful rising sun.

“Bedtime,” Jaehyo said, smiling fondly at the memories of being so sleepy. His boys had always been so cute when they were tired. “I’ll be here when you wake,” he promised.

“My room has an open bed,” Yukwon offered. It was a surprise to hear. Not because Jaehyo had thought Yukwon would be a popular roommate but because the young man had a tendency to be a private individual. “I’m still downstairs.”

“Same room?”

Yukwon nodded.

The offer was welcome. Jaehyo had had his own room in the house but he was reluctant to return to it. His room held too many memories. And Yukwon was a less exhausting roommate than Jihoon.

“Thanks,” he told Yukwon. That must have been what Yukwon was waiting for because he headed for the stairs. Jihoon squeezed Jaehyo into another quick hug before heading off to his own room.

And now he was alone with the new human, Kyung. The man had been quietly watching for the last several minutes.

“So, you used to live here?” Kyung asked.

Jaehyo almost laughed. “You could definitely say that.” He started towards the kitchen. With as bad as Zico had looked, Jaehyo needed to see how well taken care of the humans were.

Kyung followed but that wasn’t a surprise. “Why did you leave?”

Jaehyo faltered for a moment, hoping it wasn’t obvious. That answer was more complicated than Kyung could have even begun to guess. So instead, he said, “it happens. People leave when they’re ready.”

Jaehyo had never been ready to leave.

“But you decided to come back.”

This Kyung was more perceptive than Jaehyo had thought. He seemed to be able to accurately pick up on all of Jaehyo’s weakest points.

“I’m needed here.” He didn’t know this human. He didn’t want to share how much being needed thrilled Jaehyo. How much he’d dreamed of returning.

Opening a cabinet, Jaehyo frowned. “Where is everything?” He asked himself, horrified to see a single box of cereal in it. The fridge was his next stop. He was too scared to look in the other cabinets. A single carton of clearly expired milk and half a dozen takeaway containers in various stages of disgusting greeted him.

“What are you guys eating?” Jaehyo asked, unable to keep the horror out of his voice.

Kyung shrugged. “Whatever we get. Depends on the person and their schedule.”

“And Jae just lets you do that?” That didn’t sound like the Jae he remembered. And then Jaehyo remembered what Jihoon had told him earlier. The household had dwindled to only a few humans.

Dread filled Jaehyo as he asked the questions he didn’t want to hear the answers to.

“Who lives here now? How many humans?” After a moment, he added, “not counting me.”

Kyung thought for a moment. “Zico, obviously. And then Yukwon-hyung and Jihoon but you knew that. I’ve been here since just before Chuseok.”

Not even half a year. Jaehyo felt sick at the thought.

“And Mino’s been here almost two months.” Kyung thought for a moment before nodded. “Yeah, that’s it for now. We had another guy when I first got here but he left right after I came.”

This had to be a joke. But the honest look on Kyung’s face said it wasn’t. Jaehyo wanted to throw up. The house creaked as if to say it shared his feelings.

Then Kyung asked it. “Who is Jae?”

He couldn’t help it. The wave of sadness that hit Jaehyo was overwhelming. “He…” he had to bite back a sob. What the hell had happened here? “He was a servant here.”

Kyung nodded. “I guessed that. So was he here a long time?”

Only if twenty-three years was considered a long time. So instead of saying that, Jaehyo nodded. “Jae liked to cook so we left the kitchen to him. He was good too. Could’ve been a chef if he wanted.”

What had caused Jae and the others to leave? They’d all been so secure and solid here. Jaehyo leaving shouldn’t have caused the exodus that had happened. He knew he’d been a big part of the house. However it was Zico who had brought them here, who had given them a home.

“That sounds amazing.” Kyung’s eyes were glassy and he looked like he’d start drooling at any moment.

“It was,” Jaehyo agreed. He knew what he should do and what he needed to do. “We had a full house when I left this place last year.”

He needed to go to his room and grab everything. He needed to hit up a good grocery store or at the very least, the market he knew was only a fifteen minute walk away. He needed to get this disaster zone dealt with. There was so much to do. Could he even do it all?

Kyung leaned against the counter. “You keep mentioning you left.” There were no accusations there. Just an open sort of honesty that cut even deeper somehow.

All Jaehyo could do was nod. “Last year. I needed a break.”

It was true. He’d needed to get away, to clear his head. Jaehyo was still waiting for that to happen.

“Are you going anywhere?” Kyung asked. “Or here to stay?”

“Hard to say,” Jaehyo admitted. “For all I know, Zico will kick me out at sunset.”

That was a lie and Jaehyo knew it. Zico might try to make him leave but Jiho wouldn’t let that happen. That soft human side of his was both a blessing and curse for the vampire.

“I’m going out for a bit,” Jaehyo said, trying to change the topic.

“Mind if I come with?”

Yes. No. If he left by himself, Jaehyo feared he wouldn’t be able to come back. He needed time alone to process everything he’d learned.

Jaehyo shrugged as he headed towards the door. “If you want.” Which meant yes, please, I don’t want to be left alone with my own thoughts.

Kyung was quiet as they walked out onto the front porch. It was a tad unnerving. Jaehyo couldn’t place but he soon discovered something else that left him horrified. Running his fingers over the grooves in the door again, Jaehyo caught something he’d missed earlier.

He turned to Kyung, unable and unwilling to hide the look of horror he knew had to be on his face. “How long have the wards been down?”

“The wards?” Kyung repeated, confusion evident from his tone. “What wards?”

Jaehyo knew he was staring but he couldn’t help it. “The house wards,” he said, still unable to hide his horror. He could feel them resisting his pull. They wanted to sleep, to remain as they were. It took some poking and prodding but after several minutes, Jaehyo could finally feel them sluggishly start to respond to him.

What the hell had happened here?

“No one ever mentioned having house wards.”

A surge of annoyance spark in Jaehyo. It wasn’t directed at Kyung. Instead, Jaehyo’s annoyance was directed towards Yukwon and Jihoon. They knew about the wards, how to check them and how to set them. **THEY KNEW.** And yet they’d allowed the wards to all but wither away.

“There are wards on the house that protect it. They keep it hidden.” Jaehyo said, trying to explain it as he headed towards the nearby market. A store could potentially be cheaper but he knew the market was a decent place to stock up on some of the basic things they desperately needed.

Kyung kept up which was a surprise considering how short the kid was. “It’s never been hidden to me.” He looked back at the house and added, “it’s not hidden now.”

Smiling, Jaehyo shook his head. “The wards are there. You’re just immune to them.” Jaehyo was almost surprised he was still immune to them. “You’ve tasted Zico’s blood. You’re one of his so his home accepts you.”

Did the house’s acceptance of Jaehyo mean that Jiho still called Jaehyo his?

“Why are there even wards?” Kyung seemed genuinely curious. It was a good, if annoying, sign. Maybe someone would be able to look after the house if Jaehyo couldn’t stay.

“Ji-” the older man stopped himself. “Zico isn’t the only one of his kind. And they can get very territorial.” Old habits died hard. But Jiho’s name...it wasn’t for just anyone. He’d changed his name for a reason.

Kyung stopped walking. When Jaehyo looked back, he saw the kid had turned an almost sickly pale. “There are others?”

“Yep. At least one more here in Seoul.” Jaehyo shivered in memory. It’d been a long time since his one and only encounter with the vampire who called himself G-Dragon. The vampire had been old, oh so very old that even Jiho had felt like a child compared to him, during that meeting. That meeting has been far too many years ago.

Jaehyo kept walking, trusting Kyung to play catch up. “There are also other servants. And,” he stopped speaking. Should he tell Kyung this? The boy was young and still had that naivety that humanity brought.

“And?” Kyung prompted, half running to close the gap that had formed between them.

“Hunters.”

He wasn’t a vampire but that one word was enough to chill Jaehyo to his core.

“Hunters,” Kyung repeated. The skepticism was evident in his tone.

“Hunters,” Jaehyo repeated. “Humans who track and kill vampires.”

He’d been lucky. He’d never encountered one before but he knew they were out there. At one point, Jaehyo had known one of G-Dragon’s servants. The guy had been happy and carefree, the sort of soul who had been easy to get along with. Then the guy had dealt with a hunter. It changed him. Daesung was never the same after, turning inside himself and becoming a more private person after that encounter. It took awhile for Jaehyo to even see the guy out and about. And despite it not happening to him, the encounter had driven the lesson home: **don’t fuck with hunters**.

“Are there a lot of hunters?”

It was funny. Jaehyo had had this conversation many times. Kyung was the first one to ever ask questions and even more importantly, good ones. A glimmer of hope and a spark of jealousy lit in Jaehyo.

“I don’t know. I’m not sure anyone does,” Jaehyo replied. “We never really went out of our ways to swap notes. Just warnings and passing along info as we felt it was needed.”

“We? You mean Zico’s others?”

Jaehyo shook his head. “No. I told them everything.” After all, those boys had been as much Jaehyo’s as they’d been Zico’s. “I had connections with a few servants from another household.”

Connections came with age and time, two things Jaehyo had plenty of.

“How old are you?” Kyung had stopped again. He stood there, staring at Jaehyo.

Jaehyo couldn’t help but give the boy a sad smile. “How old do you think?”

It was obvious that the question wasn’t what Kyung had expected. He looked Jaehyo over, trying to find some sort of clue. He wouldn’t. The key to successfully make it as a servant was the ability to flow through time, moving with it and never trying to fight it.

“You don’t look that old,” Kyung finally said. “If I didn’t know better, I’d guess maybe 23?”

Jaehyo laughed. “You’re very kind.” He felt old, so old right now. He couldn’t even remember how long ago 23 had been. “Double that you’d be closer to the truth.”

That must have done it because Kyung fell silent again. It was an odd silence. Jaehyo had grown used to the questions already. At least the rest of his walk towards the market passed peacefully.


	3. could there be something as terrifying as tomorrow

As soon as sunset hit, Jaehyo’s eyes flew open. He was running on next to no sleep. After going to the store with Kyung and then grabbing everything important from his room that was all the fucking way across Seoul, he’d been exhausted. Jaehyo wasn’t even sure he was in bed before he’d fallen asleep. And that’s all he wanted to do, sleep. But any trace of that was gone.

Zico was underneath him. Not literally but Jaehyo could feel the vampire’s presence. He was downstairs, standing under the spot where Jaehyo was trying to sleep.

“I know you’re there,” he murmured, resting a hand on the wall next to him. He’d never been able to figure out if the house sent along these sorts of messages or if Jiho’s hearing was just that exceptional. Both were plausible.

No response. Not that Jaehyo expected one. He curled back under his cover, trying to force himself to fall asleep. It wasn’t going to work. He knew this. He still had to try though. It was the principle of the matter.

Yukwon gave a little groan from his own bed. It was clear he was trying to stay asleep too. Jaehyo smiled. The sight reminded him of a much younger Yukwon trying to do that very same thing. He’d missed sights like this, ones that reminded him just how cute his boys were.

With a sigh, Jaehyo dragged himself out of bed. He didn’t want to get up but he had a list of things to do this night. Besides, he wasn’t going to be able to sleep anyway. Not with Zico hovering below.

Which is why his first stop was the one he looked forward to and dreaded the most. Jiho’s personal set of rooms.

Standing in front of the door, it all felt more real. He swallowed, painfully hard, because he knew Jiho was still inside. At some point, the magic of the house had filled him and now he could track each person, both vampire and human, if he set his mind to it. He could feel Jiho just on the other side of this door. All he had to do was enter the code.

One. Two. Two. Three.

The door clicked opened. Somehow, his code still worked. He didn’t know if he should be flattered or depressed about that.

Jiho was in his private living room, lounging on the sofa. It wasn’t a large room, none of them were, but the distance between the two of them felt vast. Jaehyo stood there, mesmerized at the sight before him. He couldn’t help but drink in the sight of the vampire.

Jiho was on the sofa, head thrown back. Long blond waves of hair fanned out around him. Pale, almost impossibly pale milky clear skin that contrasted with the deep pink of his lips. Those soft, plump lips that called to him. They begged to be kissed. Behind them hid the twin canines Jaehyo had long learned to associate with pleasure rather than pain.

He fought and failed to control his speeding heart.

Eyes so dark he could drown in their depths opened to look, judge, him.

“You’re still here.”

“I am,” Jaehyo agreed, taking a few steps forward. He didn’t want to but it wasn’t something he could fight. Not when the power that pulsed from Jiho pulled him closer, drawing him in like a magnet.

Before he knew it, he was standing in front of the vampire. Long, strong fingers wrapped around his wrist, pulling Jaehyo onto the sofa. It was as soft as he remembered, the velvet fabric under his fingers worn soft with age and use.

“Why are you still here?” Jiho asked, his hands still holding onto Jaehyo. The feel of those fingers and Jiho’s eyes locked Jaehyo in place.

The question was valid. Jaehyo didn’t have to be here. After all, he’d left.

“I’m needed here,” Jaehyo answered. The truth burned. How could a few words hurt so much?

Jiho flipped Jaehyo’s wrist over, exposing the veins. Jaehyo had to fight not to react. Pulling the skin to his nose, the vampire gave a sniff. “Are you offering yourself to me?”

He knew this would happen. Sooner or later, Jiho would ask for blood. It would help everyone though.

“Make it painless.” Jaehyo closed his eyes in resignation, knowing all too well Jiho knew about his preferences. Jaehyo could feel the smile on the vampire’s lips as he pulled the wrist closer to his mouth.

Anticipation before the bite was always the worst. He was actively fighting himself not to tense up. Jiho’s tongue was warm and wet on his skin. Jaehyo was suddenly glad the vampire only had his wrist and not a more sensitive spot.

A momentary flash of pain hit him when the vampire finally bit down. Pleasure followed in its wake.

How long had it been since he’d felt this? His skin warmed and he longed to strip, to cool himself down more because he felt like he’d catch fire at any moment. He wanted to feel Jiho’s cool hands all over him. After all, Jiho knew all the right places to touch. _Touch me._

He couldn’t stop the moan that forced its way past his lips. His body grew hotter in embarrassment. All he wanted was to say like this forever. All he wanted was more.

A hand lifting his shirt grabbed Jaehyo’s attention. Cool fingers traced the faint lines of once well-defined muscle. The touch, so light and gentle, was enough to cause another moan. He knew Jiho was doing this on purpose. There was no way this wasn’t deliberate.

Jiho let go of Jaehyo’s wrist. Blood was smeared on the vampire’s lips, painting them crimson. Jaehyo licked his own lips, anticipation tell him what to expect next. Normally Jiho would share. Normal humans would find it gross but living with a vampire had made him immune to that feeling.

No soft, bloody kiss followed. Jiho looked at him, watched him. But he didn’t take any more.

Jaehyo’s blood was already affecting the vampire. Sunken cheeks were filling out. A healthy pink flush had settled across Jiho’s skin. It felt like his eyes could see more, could see into Jaehyo better. Jiho wasn’t back in his prime but he’d definitely taken a step closer to it.

“Ji-” Jaehyo dropped his hand. This is what he’d tried to escape. And look how easy he’d started to fall back into Jiho’s spell.

It hurt but he pushed the vampire’s hand off his abdomen. He wanted to stay curled up here, letting Jiho feed off him as he wished. He couldn’t let that happen. Slowly, Jaehyo stood. “I’m glad to have been able to help you,” he said, trying to keep his tone as formal as he could.

\---

“The house feels different.”

Jaehyo looked up from his plate to see Kyung in the doorway. The younger man was looking around, confusion evident on his face.

Yukwon gave Jaehyo and his meal, eggs and broccoli, another looked. Jaehyo looked down, staring at his plate but knowing Yukwon had figured it out.

“Already?” Yukwon asked. “It’s barely past sunrise.”

Heat flooded Jaehyo’s face. “Yeah,” he admitted, knowing it was pointless to lie. “Not much though.”

“He doesn’t need much from you.” Yukwon would know. Despite his youthful appearance, the young man was the closest in age to Jaehyo himself.

“What’s going on?” Kyung asked as he poured himself a bowl of some sort of chocolate cereal.

“Zico got a decent meal,” Jaehyo replied. “The house is responding to his return in strength.”

“Is that all that happened?” Yukwon half hid behind the mug he held in his hands.

“That’s all.” Jaehyo wanted to die. Could they not discuss this? Especially here where anyone could hear. He set his chopsticks down and looked at his little brother. “Nothing else is going to happen.”

 

Jaehyo knew he’d have to be firm about that. There would be no backsliding into old, familiar habits. No sleeping in Jiho’s bed. Feedings would only be from his wrists, no other spots that could lead to something more. Those spots were all too dangerous. No touches, even if his body craved them. No blood sharing. No kissing. Especially no kissing. Jaehyo had firsthand knowledge of just how dangerous those beautiful, plump lips could be.

He wasn’t going to be able to survive this.

Zico walked in at that moment. He took a moment to look around, evaluating each of his humans. Jaehyo wished he could disappear. He knew Zico was watching him, had heard his words.

“Kyung.”

They all looked at the vampire. Yukwon didn’t even bother trying to hide his shock.

“You’re with me,” the vampire continued.

Kyung nodded. Still curious, he asked, “are we working on that song again tonight?”

Zico nodded, leaving without another word. Yukwon relaxed. Jaehyo just went back to his meal. Music was Jiho’s lifeblood, even more than actual blood. Nearly every boy Jiho had ever taken in had music in his soul. Jaehyo was probably the least musically inclined if he were to be honest.

Kyung gulped down the rest of his cereal, practically running towards the stairs that led down to the studio.

By now, Jihoon and a guy Jaehyo didn’t recognize had made their way to the kitchen. Jihoon grinned the moment he saw Jaehyo.

“Hyung,” he said, trying and failing at keeping the excited giggle out of his voice.

“No, Jihoon,” Jaehyo replied. He was running on nothing and dealing with an over-excited Jihoon would be too much. He loved Jihoon but right now, the boy would just be a nightmare. “Who's your friend?”

“Mino,” the newcomer replied. “You’re ‘Hyung’?”

“Jaehyo.” The name had barely left his lips when the newcomer was hugging him. “Uh…”

Mino pulled back and smiled. “Jihoonie’s told me everything.”

That still didn’t explain anything.

Jihoon threw an arm around the both of them. “Minho and I grew up together,” he said as if that explained anything. In a way, it did. Jaehyo relaxed in the arms of the two boys, returning their hugs.

“He’s a wonderful boy,” Jaeho replied, speaking to Minho. Or was it Mino?

“Both work,” the guy said when Jaehyo asked. “Minho’s my name but I use MIno when I rap.”

That explained why or rather how the young man had caught Zico’s eye. Zico was always interested in rappers, in musicians, performers. Anyone really who could catch his attention. Somehow Jaehyo had managed to do that far too many years ago. How he’d done that, Jaehyo had no idea.

Vanity said it was no doubt because of his looks. But Jaehyo knew what he’d looked like back when they first met. So looks were out. Honestly it was probably Jiho’s hunger. Jaehyo had been an easy meal back then.

“How did you end up here?” Jaehyo asked, once he’d let go of the boys and they him.

“We ran into each other a couple of months ago,” Jihoon replied. “Zico was with me.”

“They offered me a bed,” Mino finished. “I took it.”

Jaehyo nodded. He didn’t need any more of an explanation than that. They all had their reasons for being here. Granted, he did know most of their stories but that was for an entirely different reason.

“So what’s the story? You left but now you’re back?” Mino asked between bites of a banana.

Way to cut right to the pain.

“Jihoon asked me back,” Jaehyo explained. He hoped that would be enough but knew it wouldn’t be. “I had to take a break from here,” he added.

A break. Is that what he’d taken? He’d meant to leave forever. Why had he come back? This was the exact opposite place he needed to be. It had been so easy to come back too. The idea of leaving again hurt. It felt like his heart was being squeezed, as if it’d explode any moment. Pressing against his lungs and his chest, pushing all the air from him. Breathing felt impossible.

Arms wrapped around him from behind. “It’s okay,” Yukwon’s voice murmured in his ear. “You’re okay, hyung.”

Jaehyo could only breathe faster. He gulped at the air, desperately trying to force some of it into his lungs. It wasn’t working. Darkness creeped along the edges of his vision. The arms around him felt like iron bars, squeezing the life out of him even moreso. The voice in his ear was saying something but thinking, processing the words, required more air than he had. There was no way to tell what they were saying.

And then those iron bars were gone. Coolness brushed against his cheek. “Come back to me,” a voice called to him. Jiho. That was Jiho’s voice. “Come back,” Jiho called again. “Jaehyo.”

Jiho’s lips brushed against his ear. That touch chased away the darkness. Air, sweet delicious air, filled his lungs once more. His head wanted to spin from the sudden flood of it. He realized now that Yukwon’s arms had been replaced by Jiho’s but unlike Yukwon’s, Jiho’s were comforting. Jiho’s were safe.

“You’re back.” Jaehyo could hear the smile in Jiho’s voice.

Jaehyo nodded, unable to speak. He leaned back, inhaling the familiar scent of Jiho. Jiho smelled like home. Blood, cologne, that spicy distinctive voice that marked the vampire and only him. There was nothing else like it. It brought on feelings of comfort. He wanted to stay here, like this, forever.

Why in the world had he ever left?

The thought of leaving made it hard to breathe again.

Jiho’s lips pressed against the scar on Jaehyo’s neck. The bite scar sang, begging to be bit into. “Jaehyo,” the vampire whispered on the sensitive skin there. “You’re mine. Stay with me.” It wasn’t a request.

Teeth rested against Jaehyo’s skin. He pressed into them, trying to break the seal. Jiho got the message, biting down. A sense of calm washed over and through Jaehyo. He wouldn’t have to leave. He’d be safe here, in Jiho’s arms. Nothing bad would, could, happen here.

Jiho didn’t take much. A gentle kiss and he pulled back, resting his chin on Jaehyo’s shoulder.

“You can all leave.” His voice rumbled through Jaehyo. And then Jaehyo realized what the vampire said. His eyes flew open. Four humans stood there, watching. Well, not all of them were standing. Yukwon was standing to the side, a smile full of happiness sitting brightly on his face. That angelic smile of his was making the room practically glow. Jihoon was on his knees though, kneeling in front of Jaehyo. His hands were gripping Jaehyo’s so tight that Jihoon’s knuckles had gone white. Mino was still where he’d been but it was obvious he was surprised by this. And Kyung...Kyung stood in the doorway. He stared, openly shocked. Was that betrayal?

Why betrayal?

Pulling one of his hands away from Jihoon, Jaehyo rested it on top of Jiho’s hand. There was no reason for anyone to feel betrayed. Everyone who came into this house knew how things worked. They were all Zico’s.

And Jiho was his.

“Leave.” There was power in Jiho’s voice this time. Jihoon looked up. Jaehyo nodded. It was okay for Jihoon to leave. The younger man nodded back, reluctantly pulling away. Tugging on Mino’s arm, the two slid past Kyung. Yukwon followed after the two, slinking out in that graceful, catlike way that only he could do.

That left Kyung. He still stood in the doorway, staring with that same confusing look on his face.

“Go back downstairs, Kyung.” Jiho’s voice was strong in his ear. “I’ll return in a bit.” Kyung stared for a moment long before he too slipped away.

Alone with Jiho again. The thought would have been terrifying a few days ago. Even now it was slightly terrifying. He was in way too deep. Jaehyo had always known this. He’d tried to run from it. Running away was impossible for him.

“I’m fine now,” Jaehyo said. Now that the panic had subsided, all that was left was embarrassment. He wished he could slink away and hide, something near impossible to do in this house.

He could feel the reluctance in Jiho to pull away. “It won’t happen again,” Jaehyo lied. He couldn’t guarantee it. He’d never be able to promise that. Jiho knew it. But Jiho seemed to understand. He gave a little nod, placing a small peck on Jaehyo’s forehead before he too left.


	4. there's no exit, you will lose your mind

A bloody lip print was on his forehead. That was the first thing Jaehyo noticed when he returned to Yukwon’s room. He wiped it away but it was already dry. Only water would take it away. Jaehyo sighed, heading towards the floor’s bathroom.

The red light was on.

Zico was still in his little recording studio. The red light said he didn’t want to be disturbed. Seeing Kyung in there, head bent low next to Zico’s, burned. He didn’t have to sit quite so close. But he was. Jaehyo shook his head. There was no reason to be feeling this way.

Petty led him back downstairs. This time, he knew his code worked so he didn’t even have to stop and think about entering it. He just did, the habit long ingrained into his muscle memory. This time, he didn’t rush through the rooms in his search for Zico. Instead, he took his time. The entry was still the same though that wasn’t a surprise. And so was the kitchen. Granted the kitchen was dustier now but again, he couldn’t help but be not surprised. Jiho had no reason to use the room. No doubt Jaehyo was the last human who had been in the room.

Jaehyo stood in front of the door. Dark, smooth wood that was somehow both warm and cold to the touch greeted him. He knew this door, knew what used to lay behind it. Taking a deep breath, he pushed it open.

His bed was thrown against one wall. The rich green blanket he’d had was in pieces all over the room. It looked like someone had ripped it apart in rage. It probably had been. Feathers from what had to have been his pillow were everywhere. The only place they weren’t was the small path that led to the door to the next room. Clothes were thrown everywhere. The dresser they’d been in was pulled apart but at least it looked like it wasn’t completely destroyed.

Jaehyo’s guitar hadn’t been touched.

He walked over, picking it up. This was the one thing he’d regretted leaving behind. There just hadn’t been any room for it when he’d left. The fact that it had survived Zico’s wrath made him smile just a little. The other stuff in the room, as much as he’d cared for the things, were meaningless. But this, this guitar meant everything.

He carried the guitar upstairs, settling in the common area outside Yukwon’s room. It also put him in a position where the two in the recording studio could see him through the glass window. Jaehyo ignored them, instead turning to tune his guitar. It took longer than he expected but his fingers finally remembered how to work.

Jiho was watching him.

Jaehyo ignored the vampire. He knew that they couldn’t hear him, that he wouldn’t be disturbing them.

Yukwon wandered out, stretching in the empty area in the middle of the room. It was odd but that one thing really made Jaehyo feel like he was home. All that was missing were more humans. They needed more people so badly.

“What happened?”

The question slipped out. But it was out there. And Yukwon was probably the best source for answers.

Yukwon looked up from where he was stretching. “You left,” he said as if that answered everything. It didn’t. Not in a good way. It only gave part of the reason but not enough.

“Kwonnie,” Jaehyo drew out the name. “There’s more to the story than just that.”

He needed to know the full story. If he was going to get things back on track, he had to know what changed when he left.

“There is,” Yukwon agreed, returning to his stretching.

“So what’s the story?” Jaehyo didn’t want to push but he felt like that was the only option Yukwon was leaving him.

Yukwon sat up. He looked at Jaehyo, sorrow filling his angelic face. “Hyung, I can tell you everything but I’m not the one you need to be asking. There were some issues but the one who can explain it best…” He trailed off, shooting a glance at the recording studio. Zico and Kyung were working on something, no longer appearing to be paying them any attention.

A private chat with Jiho. Was that even possible? The only time they’d been alone, it hadn’t exactly gone the way Jaehyo had wanted. He’d come so close to falling into Jiho. Any time he came near the vampire, it was hard to keep his head straight. Asking about what had happened only seemed to draw out Zico.

“Where’d that come from?” Kyung asked, sitting on the couch next to Jaehyo. He was eyeing the guitar with a curious expression on his face.

“It’s mine,” Jaehyo said. “I’ve had it a long time.” A very, very long time. He could still remember when he’d been given it.

“I don’t remember seeing it yesterday.” Kyung seemed oblivious to just how painful his questions and statements were. It was that damned human naivety of his.

“He left it here,” Yukwon answered. “Where we could keep it safe.”

Technically that wasn’t wrong. Jaehyo also had to wonder if he’d left it here so he’d have an excuse to come back. Maybe not a conscious decision but a reason, an excuse, to get back into this house.

Zico didn’t say a word. His eyes were locked onto the guitar in Jaehyo’s hand. A tug on the bond between them let Jaehyo feel some of the emotions roiling through the vampire. Impressively, none of it showed on Zico’s face.

Taking the tug as a sign, Jaehyo stood. A few steps and the guitar was laying safely on the bed he’d napped in during the day. Zico was gone by the time Jaehyo reappeared but that wasn’t a problem. He could feel Zico.

Downstairs. He was downstairs in his private set of rooms.

For a third time that night, Jaehyo went down to Zico’s floor.

This time, he found Jiho in the kitchen.

“You saw the room.”

Surprisingly, there was no malice in Jiho’s voice. Nope, no anger or malice at all. There was plenty of shame though. Funny how that shame helped endear the vampire to him.

“What happened?” Jaehyo decided to be bold. He went over to Jiho and rested his head on the vampire’s shoulder. “This doesn’t seem like you.”

An arm wrapped around his waist. “You smell delicious,” Jiho said, his voice rumbling through all of Jaehyo. The feeling pulled at him, reminded Jaehyo of just how many times he’d been in this exact position.

“You put yourself on a starvation diet,” Jaehyo pointed out. Even with some of his blood in Jiho, the vampire was still painfully underfed. “Why?”

Jiho didn’t reply. That wasn’t a surprise. Jaehyo knew it wouldn’t be easy to get answers. Everything about this situation was difficult. Pulling away, Jaehyo stood in front of Jiho. He pushed back some of the vampire’s long, wavy hair. It struck him just how soft the vampire was. He was so beautiful. So innocent.

Mine.

“Jiho…”

He could get lost in those dark eyes. They sucked him in, surrounding him in warmth. He knew what those eyes meant. They were the color of Jiho’s soul. Dark. Mysterious. Loving. Warm. All the things he knew Jiho was.

And then Jiho was everywhere. Soft lips on his own, teasing and freezing him. Jiho was so cold but all that did was set Jaehyo on fire. Hands pushed their way past Jaehyo’s shirt. Fingers brushed against the sensitive skin there, leaving soft light touches that burned.

In that moment, nothing else mattered.

The jacket Jiho wore needed to go. Layers were always the most annoying part of the vampire. He covered himself, making it difficult to get down to him. Jaehyo pushed it off. The thud from when it hit the ground was satisfying.

Kisses, little nips that stung but never quite broke his skin, were being peppered all along Jaehyo’s neck. They made standing difficult. All he wanted was to collapse, to let Jiho continue doing what he wanted. He clawed at Jiho’s back, gripping the fabric but wishing it was skin. He wanted to mar Jiho’s perfect skin, to leave a mark somehow. He’d done it before.

Jiho always healed. No scars blemished his perfect skin. He would never be like Jaehyo who was so clearly marked, defined, by the scars brought on by years of use. If there was one regret he had, it was that Jaehyo’s skin told his tale. Jaehyo loved each and every mark. A curse and the tapestry of his life all in one.

There was only one way this would end.

It physically pained him but Jaehyo managed to slip out of the vampire’s hands. “Not here,” he said, trying to collect himself. “Not here.”

Jiho smirked at his eyes raked over Jaehyo’s mussed state. “Lead the way,” he offered. And that was why Jaehyo loved the vampire. Jiho have never forced him into anything. He gave Jaehyo choices. He let Jaehyo take control and let himself be vulnerable. It couldn’t be easy. Jiho had so many weaknesses. Jaehyo knew all of them. But Jiho had never tried to control Jaehyo.

It was easier to ignore the mess this time. The destruction was still everywhere but with his eyes on Jiho’s personal bedroom, it was easier to block out the destruction of Jaehyo’s former room.

By design, Jiho’s personal room was a pain to get to. The vampire owned the entire building. Originally, it had had apartments in it. Three floors, each one with just a single apartment. When Jiho, well to be honest, Jaehyo had been the one to physically buy it but that was beside the point. When the building had been bought, it had been converted into its current layout.

The basement, where they were now, had been expanded because it originally had just been a shared cellar for the other apartments. By the time the renovations were done, the building had four floors. Two were above ground, two were below it. To get to Jiho, everyone had to enter through the main floor, go through a floor of servants, get past the code locked door, and then finally the private apartment. For the longest time, Jaehyo himself had been the last obstacle for any would-be hunter.

Jiho’s room was the hardest to reach and the most private space. Jaehyo knew there were only a few who had seen it.

The door swung open easily, revealing Jiho’s bed. It was neatly made which wasn’t a surprise. Jiho was neat. The blankets and sheets didn’t match but that wasn’t a surprise. Publically, Zico was all about showing off and looking good. In private, Jiho prioritized comfort.

He turned back to look at Jiho. The vampire stood at the other end of the room. He was staring openly. Jaehyo decided to raise the ante. He pulled off his shirt, throwing it to the side. In another time, in another life, such an action might have embarrassed him. But not here. Not with this Jiho. Plus it helped knowing that showing so much skin had a tendency to drive Jiho crazy.

Turning away, the cool breath on his neck came as no surprise. The body behind him pushed him towards the bed. It took everything Jaehyo had in him to not melt.

The bed was deliciously plush underneath him. He was surrounded in Jiho. The vampire’s scent was everywhere, warm and musky in a way that instantly made Jaehyo go hard. A year had gone by since he’d been touched this way by someone, anyone. Every soft kiss, every whisper of a caress set his body on fire.

His fingers met flesh. Grinning, Jaehyo dragged his fingers along the vampire’s back. Jiho hissed. Which is why Jaehyo did it again. He dug deeper this time, enough to make Jiho bleed.

The scent of blood in the air seemed to make Jiho crazier. The kisses he’d been leaving turned harder, each one threatening to become another bite. Then the vampire found his earlier bite, the one he’d left on Jaehyo’s neck. He bit down, opening the wound again. The vampire didn’t take more than a sip but it was more than enough to make Jaehyo’s head spin.

Jaehyo’s hands went for his pants. They were tight, so painfully tight now. He felt as if he’d scream if they stayed on a moment longer. His dick ached, crying to be freed.

When his pants were finally pushed away, it was bliss and hell all wrapped into one. The mix of cool and heated air on such a sensitive spot made him cry out. The air between them couldn’t make up its mind. It didn’t know if it wanted to burn with the blistering heat of Jaehyo’s body or if it wanted to join the frigid fire of Jiho’s own. It was a blissful sort of agony and one he hadn’t realized how much he needed until this moment.

Jiho’s cool hand reached down to stroke Jaehyo’s dick. He couldn’t help but flinch at the feeling, so cold and yet so right. It hurt and he wanted more. Jaehyo thrusted with his hips, trying to get something. He didn’t know what. He just wanted more.

Jiho was going too slow. Too soft. One hand gently stroked Jaehyo, the other hand exploring every little spot of Jaehyo’s chest.

A needy whine filled the air. Another time and Jaehyo would have been embarrassed about it. But he just needed Jiho to do more. To be rougher. The vampire knew he wouldn’t break. So why was Jiho torturing him like this?

“Jiho…” Jaehyo found himself whining.

It had to have been the sign the vampire was waiting for. He bit down on that same spot again (dammit, that was going to bruise if Jiho kept biting there) and pulled hard on Jaehyo from both inside and out.

Fireworks burst across Jaehyo’s vision, blinding him. Flooding him.


	5. a scar will be left even though the wound heals up

Cold. It was so fucking cold. He hated winter. The season was the most miserable. No joy to be found in the land of fucking ice and snow and winds that cut him to shreds.

Didn’t this world realize he wasn’t meant for this shit? He was a Busan boy and while it wasn’t paradise, it was a whole lot fucking nicer than this frozen hellhole. Except he couldn’t...no, scratch that, he _wouldn’t_ go back to Busan. Not until he died and even then only if life cursed him.

Okay, actually maybe he was cursed. That’d explain a lot. Like, everything.

He pulled the grimy blanket closer, trying to huddle in its non-existent warmth. The feel of it under his fingers made his skin want to crawl. He didn’t even want to begin deciphering its patchwork of stains. A blanket was a blanket though and it might be enough to keep him alive one more day. One shitty, cold, miserable day.

Why the fuck did he want this blanket again?

Oh yeah, he wasn’t about to let the bastards win by rolling over and dying. But fuck it was really fucking cold. Spring and its warmth felt impossibly far away. It was hard to imagine how he’d make it until then.

The wind hit hard, cutting him to his core. It was enough to make him stand. He stood there shivering, stamping his feet. He needed to do this, to move, because maybe that would keep his blood from freezing in his veins. Another gust hit him and he cursed.

Jaehyo looked around, trying to find somewhere (anywhere) that might provide a little shelter from the brutal wind. He saw nothing, at least, nothing that looked suitable.

What the hell?

He picked a direction and started walked. People tried not to come near him. Jaehyo didn’t blame them. He wasn’t exactly a sweet peach at the moment. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a bath. His clothes felt disgusting and his grimy, gross blanket smelled. He’d avoid himself if he could.

Spying a small cutaway in the side of a building, he slid into it. There wasn’t a ton of room. If he were much bigger, he wouldn’t have been able to fit. Yay for starvation.

A man walked by, stepping in a puddle that splashed, almost hitting Jaehyo. It he weren’t so cold, he’d have yelled at the guy. At least, that’s what Jaehyo told himself.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed as he stood in his little spot. Every moment felt like a day. Standing here was lasting an eternity.

There were eyes on him. It took Jaehyo longer than he cared to admit to realize this. He scanned the area, trying to find whoever it was. No one stood out, at least, not at first. Jaehyo didn’t notice the guy until after he’d stopped looking at all the old people.

In a little nook, similar to Jaehyo’s own, stood a guy. He was young, maybe even younger than Jaehyo. Dark hair peeked out from under a hat. He was lean, like a street kid. He obviously knew how to get by though because unlike Jaehyo, the guy was dressed for winter. Not that the cold appeared to be bothering him at all.

Confidence oozed from him. It made a voice inside Jaehyo scream, “danger! Danger!” The guy was bad news. That much was more than obvious. However as long as he stayed on his side of the street, they’d be good.

A small part of Jaehyo wanted to know the guy’s secret. How was he able to make it on these cold, miserable streets?

After way too long a time, the guy left. Jaehyo slumped against the wall, finally able to relax. Footsteps crunched on snow but he was able to ignore them. Everyone's steps were loud to his poor, sensitive ears. He’d have thought the cold would numb him to everything. Instead, it only made things worse.

His eyes snapped open when he felt something touch him.

Dark eyes that left him breathless. They weren’t brown or black but an inky, murky mix of the two. Flecks of something (gold? Or maybe that was silver?) sparkled in the light whenever their owner moved. It was so hard to make out the color because it seemed to shift and change before his own eyes.

The person blinked, breaking eye contact for just a moment. It was enough. Jaehyo was released from the spell those eyes had cast on him.

He recognized their owner. It was the guy from before, the same one who had been staring at him. And the guy had placed a second blanket around Jaehyo.

Up close, Jaehyo was able to see just how young and handsome the guy was. He wasn’t quite as young as Jaehyo had initially thought. That or the young man had lived a hard life. Probably both. He wouldn’t be surprised if they were the same age.

“What’s this for?” Jaehyo asked, distrust lacing his voice. This guy, this kid, better not think a decent blanket would buy him. He’d rather freeze to death.

“You’re cold.” Amusement twinkled in the guy’s voice. “It’d be a shame if you froze to death.”

“I’m not fucking you.” Jaehyo spat the words out, anger warming him.

“I never said anything about that,” the stranger replied.

The anger in Jaehyo grew. “You’re not going to fuck me either so don’t even ask.” He thought about throwing the blanket at the guy but he couldn’t quite bring himself to do that. Not yet anyways.

The amusement on the guy’s face was clear to see. “No one asked that,” he said. Was he trying not to laugh? The thought that this amused the guy pissed Jaehyo off. He wasn’t some sort of toy to be played with.

Not anymore.

“You just looked cold,” the stranger continued. He reached over, tugging the blanket closer around Jaehyo. “It’s a gift.”

“No one does nice shit. What do you want?” Jaehyo tried to shrink back, away, from this guy but he couldn’t. He was trapped.

The guy chuckled. It was a warm sound. Jaehyo could almost feel himself relaxed. Almost. “It is this time.” The stranger paused then added, “I was in your place once. A stranger did something similar for me. I hope you live long enough to do the same.”

He smiled a wicked smile. Heat burned through Jaehyo, lasting long after the stranger walked away.

\---

Jaehyo wasn’t alone when he woke. Next to him was Jiho. Cold, lifeless Jiho. He wasn’t even breathing. The sun must be up by how dead the vampire looked. He only got like this during daylight.

WIth a sigh, Jaehyo got out of the bed. He...it was hard to see Jiho right now. Not when his head was full of, well, those memories. He hadn’t thought about those days in forever. It was this house. It was Jiho.

It was always Jiho.

“The blond’s nice but you shine best with black,” Jaehyo murmured, running a hand along Jiho’s cheek. He could only say it now because Jiho slept.

He carefully walked back into his old room. It was still a disaster. No surprise there. He already know the place wouldn’t be cleaned until he did it himself. He had to be careful though as he made his way to the destroyed dresser. He was naked after all.

Clothes he hadn’t seen in forever greeted him. Seeing one shirt, a tan one he’d thought he’d lost, Jaehyo grabbed it. The shirt was soft, worn with age. It hugged him perfectly, just tight and loose enough to be comfortable. Plus, it looked good on him. Pants and underwear were easy to find. Socks, however, turned out to be impossible. He gave up.

He made his way upstairs. He thought about going to bed but he kept going. He could feel someone (Kyung?) in the kitchen. Jihoon and Mino were gone. Yukwon was in his room. The kitchen it was.

He found Kyung there. The human had a box of chicken on the counter in front of him. From the looks of it, take away from a restaurant Jaehyo didn’t recognize.

“Want some?” The younger man offered when he spotted Jaehyo.

Thinking about it for a moment, Jaehyo nodded and sat next to the younger man. “Thanks. I was feeling hungry,” he admitted.

“Where’d you go?” Kyung asked. “No one’s seen you or Zico all night.”

 

Jaehyo paused, putting the piece of chicken he’d picked up back down. “I...we had a private moment.” It wasn’t like they’d spoken. Words had definitely not been their main focus. “Down in Zico’s private quarters.”

Kyung stared, openly shocked. It had this odd effect of somehow making him look both younger and more handsome. “Zico’s room?” He finally stammered out.

“His quarters, yes,” Jaehyo nodded in affirmation. “There are several rooms down there.” And one giant mess. He knew he should work on cleaning it up but the thought was scary. It’d mean he’d be back for good, that he was planning on taking it back from himself.

“No one goes down there.” Kyung shook his head, disbelief evident. “There’s a coded lock on it even. I’ve been trying but I cannot figure it out. I’m about to just start entering every single combination there is.”

It actually wouldn’t take Kyung that long if he tried doing it that way. Not that Jaehyo said that. “I have a code that gives me access,” he said instead.

Kyung’s eyes somehow grew even wider, completely taking over his face. “How?”

“I bought this house.” Jaehyo took a bite of chicken so he wouldn’t have to say anything else. Kyung was a young one. He was so full of questions that Jaehyo had gotten used to not having to explain.

“How old are you?” Kyung asked again, echoing his question from their first encounter.

“Too old.”

That was Jaehyo’s problem. It had always been his problem. He grew older with each passing moment. When they’d met, he and Jiho had been the same age. Living with Jiho, sipping on his blood, had kept Jaehyo young. But it hadn’t stopped him from aging. Every time he looked in a mirror, it reminded Jaehyo that he was slowly growing older.

One day, he would die.

He’d left to spare himself the pain of slowly dying. Of aging and watching Jiho stay eternally young, frozen in the moment of his death. The thought of seeing Jiho, his forever young and free-spirited Jiho, fall out of love...to see him fall in love with another.

“-ong?”

Jaehyo snapped back to himself. Kyung was looking at him, concern replacing his earlier shock. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

Everything. He couldn’t tell Kyung that. Not without losing his pride. “I just remembered why I made my decision to leave.”

Except now he couldn’t do that. If he did that, this house and the humans inside it wouldn’t survive. He wasn’t sure if Jiho would survive. Not to mention the pain the thought of leaving gave him. As awful as his future was, Jaehyo didn’t want to leave.

“Oh yeah. Why did you?” Kyung pushed the last of the chicken towards Jaehyo.

“It’s something you wouldn’t understand.” Jaehyo shook his head. None of them would understand. Not even Jiho got it. They’d argued about it before.

Jaehyo had asked to be turned. Jiho said no. He kept saying no. Until there reached a point when Jaehyo couldn’t bear to hear ‘no’ one more time.


	6. human greed is endless and they repeat the same mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part is a little longer than the others in celebration of 2500 days with Block B <3

He couldn’t sleep. So he gave up. There was no point in trying. Which is how Jaehyo found himself in his old room. Putting his dresser back in order was the easiest part. Though it had looked a mess, nothing was actually broken. Some of the left behind clothes had been ripped beyond repair. It should have made him angry. Instead, Jaehyo found he didn’t actually care. They were just clothes, after all.

Jaehyo sat on the floor, a piece of blanket in his hands. He took a deep breath, trying to keep himself together. This hurt. He’d been able to delude himself before but the more he cleaned, the more it hurt.

Why had Jiho fucked everything up? And of course Jaehyo was the one who dealt with the mess. How many times had he done this? Ever since what felt like forever.

He had no idea how much time passed before he finally reached his stopping point. The bed was still thrown against the wall but everything else was essentially how he’d left it. The wall behind the mattress would need to be repaired. The floor had some nasty scuffs but he could almost move back in.

Should he?

He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to continue growing older. Not when Jiho stayed young. It wasn’t fair.

\---

The tv was playing but Jaehyo couldn’t bring himself to pay attention to it. Some sort of music show was on but all the songs blurred together. The kids on stage would never feel like he did. They’d sing and dance without a care in the world. They’d grow and end up living happy human lives. They had futures.

All Jaehyo had was this house. There were people inside it but they changed with time. Yukwon, even as old as he was, hadn’t always been with them. One day, he would leave. He wasn’t like Jaehyo. Yukwon could still remember his family. He didn’t think anyone knew but Jaehyo did. He knew how Yukwon still checked up on them, tried to look out for them.

It must have been near sunset. Jaehyo could feel the humans start to wake up. Another night without sleep. Lovely. But they all lived to see another night so that was good.

They needed more humans. This was a reality he needed Jiho to see. Jaehyo’s blood would help but he couldn’t feed Jiho by himself. He was afraid to send any of the other four humans to Jiho though. They hadn’t been eating well for months and Jiho had had to feed off them so much already.

He knew what they needed to do.

Going into his room, Jaehyo rummaged through the dresser. He needed to find something that would suit him and work with what Jiho would need to wear. An old white and brown shirt stood out. He remembered the thing. He’d gotten it forever ago and had rarely worn it. Tight black jeans and a black leather jacket finished the look. Mussing up his hair, he hoped it would be enough. He barely recognized himself so that had to be a good sign.

Jiho was starting to stir when Jaehyo went into the vampire’s room. He ignored Jiho, instead heading towards the closet. It took up a sizeable chunk of the room but Jiho loved his clothes. Picking clothes for the vampire was harder. There were too many options and Jiho would look good in everything.

“What are you doing?” Jiho’s voice was husky with sleep. It was enough to make Jaehyo momentarily forget his purpose.

“We’re going out,” Jaehyo answered once he remembered his mission. He held up two shirts, one a white button up and the other a simple black tank. Picking the black one, he grabbed a few other things that Jiho would need. Like pants. Pants were always good.

“Why?” Jiho asked, amused as he watched Jaehyo throw the clothes onto the bed beside him.

“You need a good meal and this house needs a break,” Jaehyo answered. He wanted to run his hands over his hair to help himself calm down but he stopped himself just in time. He had to remember that he was supposed to look messy like this, that looking put together would only hurt them.

“Is that true?” Jiho slowly stretched, slinking out of bed with far more grace than he should have. Looking at the clothes Jaehyo had thrown on the bed, he shrugged.

“Yes. And you know it too.” It was so hard to stand here and not feel self conscious. He hated dressing up this way but he knew how it helped turn him into irresistible bait when he did so. “I’m going to grab something to eat real quick. Come up to the kitchen when you’re ready.”

“You could re-stock your kitchen,” Jiho offered.

Jaehyo paused. “Yeah,” he agreed. “I could.”

He wouldn’t though. Not until the boys were all back to optimal health. If he took over the kitchen in these rooms, it would just feel too selfish. He was here for them, not himself.

“Holy shit.”

The entire kitchen turned to stare at Jaehyo when he entered the room.

Mino, the one who had spotted him first, openly gaped. The others weren't much better. It only made Jaehyo feel more self-conscious.

“Who are you?” Mino asked.

“It’s just me,” Jaehyo said, trying to ignore the stares as he pulled out a kimbap. The date on it was still good but as he took a bite, he realized he definitely should have eaten it earlier. It hadn’t gone bad but it was past its prime.

“Okay, I really don’t remember you grabbing those clothes,” Kyung piped up.

“I left them here.” Jaehyo looked around at the room before added, “we’re going out. I’m making Zico find someone else to munch on tonight.”

“All of us?” Mino asked.

Jaehyo thought about it and shrugged. “If you want to come, you can.” More eyes were always a good thing, especially when looking for new meals.

Mino and Jihoon exchanged looks. They didn’t speak but it was clear that they were having some sort of conversation. Finally, they turned and nodded in unison. “We’re tagging along,” Jiho said, speaking for the both of them.

“You just want to get drunk,” Jaehyo teased. He knew his little brother and how much Jihoon liked to drink.

“Maybe…” Jihoon drew the word out, grinning.

“I’m in too,” Yukwon said. “It’s been awhile since I’ve gone out.”

It was hard not to look at Kyung. Would he come with? Jihoon and presumably Mino were going to drink. Yukwon wanted to dance the night away. Jaehyo and Jiho would focus on finding a meal for Jiho. What would Kyung do?

“Can’t,” the guy said, looking glum. “I have to meet up with some classmates for a our project in a little bit.”

“Classmates?” Jaehyo hadn’t known Kyung was a student. He could see it though. Kyung really rocked that whole clean cut, perfect student look.

“Mathematics,” Kyung replied. “I’m in my third year at D University.”

“How in the world did you convince your parents to let you live here?” The question slipped out before Jaehyo could stop himself from asking it.

“Student housing,” Kyung answered, a proud grinning replacing the glum look. “I told them this is a house full of students and that it’d allow me to make good connections. Plus, you know, it’d let me study without bothering them or having them bug me.”

“It’s just,” Yukwon jumped in. He had a cheeky grin on his face as he added, “they even came here to check the place out before he was allowed to move in.”

Kyung nodded. “I just have to attend service with them every week.”

Wait.

Jaehyo set what was left of kimbap (hey just because it wasn’t the greatest didn’t mean he wasn’t going to eat the thing) down, trying to wrap his head around what he’d just thought he’d heard. “You live here. **With a vampire** ,” he stressed those last few words, “and still attend church services every week.”

He had to be hearing things.

Kyung nodded. How the whole house hadn’t gone up in flames because of the hypocrisy, Jaehyo truly had no idea.

\---

The club was busy. Busy was good. They’d draw less attention in a busy place. It also gave them more options.

There were too many eyes on him though. Jaehyo had to fight not to run, to escape. A heavy, comforting arm settled across his shoulders. Jiho.

It was always Jiho.

As soon as they were inside, their little group separated. Yukwon headed straight for the dance floor (they wouldn’t see him until the sun was coming up). Jihoon and Mino somehow already had drinks in hands and were headed towards the tables on the second floor. Which left Jaehyo alone with Zico.

Zico looked good too. Jaehyo knew he picked the right clothes for the vampire because people had taken notice of him already. He kept his arm around Jaehyo as he steered them both towards the bar. Alcohol didn’t effect the vampire. The only way it could get to him was if he drank off a drunk human. They’d had fun figuring that one out.

“Anyone catch your eye?” Jaehyo asked, glancing around at the crowd all around them. It had a healthy mix of guys and girls, all fairly young. This was a good place to come. He’d have to make sure Jiho came here again.

“Just one.” Zico winked at him. If only Jaehyo could disappear right now, that would be great.

“Not on the menu,” Jaehyo remined. “If you don’t take this seriously, I’ll leave." Not the club but he’d leave Zico’s sight.

“There’s a girl over there,” Zico said, nodding to somewhere behind Jaehyo, “who keeps watching you.”

Jaehyo didn’t turn. “You want her?” He asked, sipping at the cocktail that had somehow ended up in his hand.

“Better than nothing.” Zico shrugged. “Unless you see someone else.”

Not really. Then again, Jaehyo was looking for potential humans to bring in. He wasn’t necessarily looking for a meal for now. He was hoping he could find someone to potentially fill one of their many empty beds. Someone who could feed Zico in the future.

“I’ll head for the back,” Jaehyo said, swallowing what was left of the drink in one gulp. This was always the part he hated most but he knew it worked. And Zico really needed this. It was the only reason why Jaehyo was able to force himself to do it.

The bathrooms were along a little corridor. It was a handy location, one that would work well for them. They could block the sight decently and most would mistake it for something far more intimate.

Zico found him a few minutes later. He had a pretty girl with him. She looked young, so very young. She had to be around Jihoon’s age at most. It was impossible to miss the way her eyes lit up when she spotted Jaehyo leaning against the wall.

“Hi,” he said to her, watching as Zico threw an arm around her shoulders. He played with a hand, slowly working his way towards her wrist. Surprise showed on her face but she didn’t pull away.

“Hi,” she squeaked out in reply. It was obvious even to him that she was nervous so he smiled, trying to put her at ease.

“Sorry about my friend,” he apologized, waving towards Zico. “He can get a little friendly when he drinks. He means no harm.”

None that she’d remember anyways.

By now, Zico had her wrist and was bringing it up to his mouth. He kissed and sucked on the skin there. Knowing the vampire was only interested in this girl for her blood helped Jaehyo keep the jealousy in check.

“He’s really friendly,” she giggled. Poor girl was oozing nervousness.

Jaehyo reached over and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. He could practically feel her heartbeat begin racing even faster. Time to make this even worse. Leaning in, he whispered, “I can be friendly too.”

He hated this. Everything about this made him want to scream. It wasn’t right. He never liked tricking innocents like this poor girl. Using himself like this made Jaehyo’s skin crawl. He’d promised himself that he’d never use himself like this again but he had. This wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last.

Her eyes went wide as Zico bit into her wrist. She wouldn’t remember this. That thought repeated over and over inside Jaehyo’s head. There was a certain sort of magic Zico had that would help wipe this from her memories. Jaehyo placed a simple, chaste kiss on her cheek. Her eyes fluttered like she was having problems with their weight.

And then she stumbled into Jaehyo. He’d been expecting it. Wrapping an arm around her out of instinct, Jaehyo held her close. It also helped hide what Zico was doing.

The amount of time Zico took to feed felt like forever. In reality, he knew it was only a few minutes. Zico couldn’t feed himself for any longer than that without harming, or even possibly killing, the human he was drinking from.

The girl held onto Jaehyo for longer than was needed. He let her do it though. He knew what she was feeling. Plus, they’d sort of tricked her. His conscience would only allow him to be kind in this sort of situation.

He could feel the jealousy roll off Zico. That helped.

“Bomi! Are you okay?” A new girl ran over to them, two more on her heels. They all shot the two guys dirty looks.

“She should be fine,” Jaehyo assured as he handed the girl, Bomi, off to her friends. “I think she might have drank too much. She was fine and then suddenly started to have some trouble standing.”

He hated lying. He only did it to keep Zico safe. To keep his vampire sane and fed.

The girls didn’t look like they wanted to believe him. Then their friend, Bomi, slurred out something that sounded vaguely like “sleepy” which caused the other three to share a look. It clearly read ‘not this again’ and once Jaehyo saw that look, he knew they were good. He knew Zico would be safe. Leaning on the vampire, Jaehyo let himself relax some more as he heard the girls complaining about their friend’s dead weight as they took her somewhere safer.

“Feeling better?” Jaehyo asked, keeping his voice low. He didn’t want anyone to overhear.

Zico nodded though it felt more like he was nuzzling Jaehyo’s neck. It was hard to fight his natural inclination to bare his neck, giving Zico better access to it. “You’d taste better though,” the vampire murmured.

“Any of us from the house could be better,” Jaehyo pointed out. He didn’t want to move. It was true though. Any of the humans who lived in that house would be tastier than some random person. At least, that’s what Zico had always claimed. They had magic in their blood.

“And you wouldn’t let me have any of you.” Zico was pouting.

“Nope. You need more people there first.” Jaehyo knew they should move, that if they stayed here, they’d only draw attention to themselves.

“They all left me,” Zico answered. He was definitely nuzzling Jaehyo’s neck now. It was hard for the human to stay standing. His knees just wanted to give out under him. And in a flash, Jaehyo understood. He turned and wasn’t surprised to see a drunken flush settled on Jiho’s face.

Zico couldn’t drink alcohol straight. Well, he could but it wouldn’t affect him. The blood of a drunk human though...obviously that girl had drank more than Zico could handle. “You’re such a lightweight,” Jaehyo groaned as he looped an arm around the vampire.

Remembering Jihoon and Mino had headed upstairs, Jaehyo went that way himself. The two were easy to spot. They had a table and it was full of soju bottles. Lovely. Was he going to be the only sober one here?

“What’s up with him?” Mino asked as Jaehyo deposited their vampire on the bench.

“He’s just blood drunk,” Jaehyo answered. “Ji-Zico is the worst at holding his liquor.” He looked at his vampire and shook his head. “Watch him for a bit?”

It wasn’t a question but the two humans didn’t look like they were going anywhere. Not with the waitress bringing them two more bottles of soju. Standing at the railing, Jaehyo looked down at the dance floor. Yukwon was easy to spot. The way he moved, it exuded an easy sensuality that drew people in.

No one stood out as a potential to bring in. Jaehyo hadn’t expected it to be easy but it was still discouraging to see how hard it was going to be.

He was so tired too. He’d only been back a couple of days and already he felt the weight of years on him.

All Jaehyo had wanted was to be free but apparently what he wanted didn’t matter.

\---

Mom and Dad were arguing. Did they think he didn’t hear them? He knew why they were arguing too. It was because of him. All because of that gross old lady.

“He’s my baby!” Mom’s voice rose and it sounded like she was about to cry. Or maybe she already was crying.

He pulled the blanket over his head, trying to block them out.

Three days later, he was waving goodbye to his parents. His brother. His everyone.

“A new one?” An older lady asked, sneering at him. “You’d think she’d be sick of them by now.”

“You know how she gets. She likes them young and only gets rid of them when they get too old,” another woman said. She was poking and prodding at him. He couldn’t help the yelp he let out as she pulled down his pants.

“How long before she asks to play?” The one holding his dick asked. “He’s got some more here than her last toy.”

“A few days. You know how she is.” The other woman peered down to stare at his dick. “Once we get him all cleaned up.”

“With some new clothes too.”

The one holding him let go which was a tiny relief. That is, up until she started tugging on his pants to take them away. When he didn’t move, didn’t try to help, he felt a sharp sting on his ass. When that didn’t work, the person slapped him again.

“Move boy,” a voice ordered. It was hard to keep track of who was who now. More had entered the room and they were all staring at him. “We have to toss these rags.”

“Oh be kind, he’s probably dumb.”

Someone laughed. “Well with that face, he’s allowed to be dumb.”

“True. The lady only cares for the young and pretty.”

“He’s got both of those.”

The cool air on his skin was making him shiver. Or maybe it was fear.

“What year are you?” One of the woman asked as he pushed him towards a tub he’d see someone else in a few moments before. The water inside was a murky gray with a smell he couldn’t place but it made him want to vomit.

“H-horse,” Jaehyo managed to stutter out. He had the choice of trying to resist and getting thrown in or just climbing in and hoping the water still had a little warmth. He decided to climb in. On the bright side, the water gave him a little cover from the women.

Unfortunately, they didn’t care. Someone grabbed an arm, scrubbing it until his skin turned pink and he wanted to bleed. His chest wasn’t safe either because someone was scrubbing that too. His hair was being pulled every which way. It all built into a pain that brought tears to his eyes. Jaehyo refused to let himself cry though. He bit himself on the inside of his cheek to keep himself from bawling his eyes out. He wouldn’t be that weak.

“The last boy was a pig.”

Were they talking about him or each other?

“Yeah. Then he turned into a pig.” The women laughed at some sort of joke that Jaehyo didn't understand.

“Oh! You’re absolutely wicked! You know he just got too old.” The woman who was scrubbing his chest looked him up and down. “Not like this one. He’s at her perfect age.”


	7. i think i know but then i don't

The alarm on his phone was screaming at him. Kyung groaned, trying to ignore it and failing. It didn’t help that he knew he needed to get up. Class was in too soon of a time. At least he was only a couple of stops away from the one he needed.

Muscles ached and joints popped when he stood. It hurt but in a way that brought Kyung instant relief.

No one else was awake. They never were. He could see Jihoon and Minho in their room, sprawled across their beds. One of them was snoring loudly. It was a wonder everyone else hadn’t woken up from the sound.

When he saw the two of them in their room, it sent a pang of envy through Kyung. It was obvious those two had each other. He’d have loved to share a room with someone, to build a bond like that. His schedule just felt too cruel to subject anyone else to. Besides, up until now, the only roommate option he’d had was Yukwon.

Yukwon was a nice guy. A bit quiet but not bad. He had always kept to himself thought. Until Jaehyo appeared.

That had been a surprise. The entire house had shifted since that pretty boy had arrived. Yukwon had changed. He’d come alive which was strange because the guy had always seemed alive before. Only now did Kyung realize just how not himself Yukwon had been before.

And Zico.

The vampire had changed completely.

Kyung had thought he knew the guy. They’d been friendly for several months. They vibed well musically. It was so easy to lose himself in the studio with Zico. Of all those in the house, Kyung had considered himself closest to the vampire. And then Jaehyo had showed up.

Kyung wanted to be jealous. Jaehyo seemed to have everything. The guy was tall, handsome, confident. He was loved by everyone. He knew everything about this house. And the look in Zico’s eyes when he was watching Jaehyo.

It hurt. Zico was everything Kyung wanted to be. And they had such a deep connection. Kyung couldn’t help but feel like he’d known Zico his entire life. In another life, maybe they would have been able to grow up together. To be the world’s best friend duo.

A lie would be Kyung saying he didn’t have a crush on the vampire. He knew he was attracted to Zico. Kyung had been waiting for the right moment though. It had felt too soon to say something, to try and jump into something deeper.

Then Jaehyo appeared.

He wanted to hate Jaehyo but he couldn’t. Not sure Kyung saw the gentle love in Zico’s eyes. Not after seeing the pain that so obviously scarred Jaehyo anytime he looked at the vampire.

There was one positive to Jaehyo being here. Kyung looked around the kitchen, appreciating how it was starting to become less of a disaster. Instead of a bachelor pad or a student home, it was starting to feel like a home. Jaehyo just seemed to have a way of bringing everyone together.

Breakfast, his train ride, the walk to class. It all blurred together. He wanted to sleep. Trying to live on both a human schedule and a vampire’s one was exhausting. He felt like he never had enough time to do everything.

“You’re looking tired today.” The familiar voice jogged Kyung out of his thoughts. “Is the cloudiness getting to you?”

Kyung shrugged. “Maybe? I’m hoping it doesn’t snow though. I really don’t want my mood to get worse.”

The guy sat in the seat next to Kyung. “I’m all ready for the snow. The light beauty of it would really help lighten my mood.”

Kyung rolled his eyes. “Minhyuk-hyung, you really need to get a girlfriend.”

Minhyuk shook his head. “I’ve told you this already. I’m not interested in a relationship with a girlfriend.”

“A fuckbuddy?” Kyung offered, curious to hear the guy’s response. His hyung wasn’t always open to these sorts of conversations but the guy seemed like he might answer today.

“Depends on the person,” Minhyuk admitted. “How’re things going with that guy you were into?”

Kyung shook his head. “Ex showed up and I guess he’s not an ex now?” It was hard to figure out what exactly was going on between those two. And even if they weren’t technically back together, it was clear they were still so wrapped up in their own personal storm that no one else could even get near enough to touch them.

“That’s rough.”

Yeah, yeah it was.

“But I guess it also frees you up this weekend. Me and some friends are checking out that new club, you know, the one that just opened in Hongdae.”

“You mean Company Z’s new place?”

Minhyuk nodded. “Yeah, that’s the one. We’re going on Friday. You should come join us.”

The invitation was friendly. Minhyuk was a nice guy, one who’d proven to be a good friend. And it wasn’t like Kyung had a chance with Zico.

Ouch, that thought hurt.

So Kyung nodded. “Yeah, I can go.”

\---

Yukwon was sitting on his bed. The guy had a concerned expression on his face that instantly made Jaehyo feel an uneasiness.

“What is it?” Jaehyo asked, yawning. “And also, how are you up first?”

Yukwon moved closer. “You were screaming, Hyung,” he said, unable or unwilling to hide the fear in his voice.

That was news to Jaehyo. He hadn’t even been dreaming. “I’m fine,” he assured his younger brother. Holding up his blanket, he motioned for the younger guy to join him.

Yukwon curled up next to him. The young man really was striking. He always had been. In a way, he broke Jaehyo’s heart. Yukwon was who Jaehyo could have been in another life. If he had been a weaker man, it might have hurt Jaehyo. Instead, all it did was make him more determined than ever to save Yukwon. To save all of them.

A knock sounded from the door. Yukwon gripped Jaehyo’s shirt, refusing to let go. “Come in,” Jaehyo called to whoever it was. He knew he could have reached through the house to figure out who it was but that required an effort he just didn’t feel like dealing with.

Kyung walked in. “Is everything okay?” He asked, eyes glued onto Yukwon. “Or am I interrupting something?”

“Just a little friendly cuddle,” Jaehyo answered. “Right, Kwonnie?”

Soft snores were the only response he got. Glancing down, Jaehyo couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “And he’s out.” Which left Jaehyo trapped. “I’d offer you a seat but…” he gestured towards Yukwon.

“Is everything okay?” Kyung repeated. “I heard some yelling when I came in.”

That’s when Jaehyo noticed how Kyung was dressed. Casual pants, a warm and fuzzy shirt. Jacket still on and an obviously well-used bag slung over a shoulder. He must have been coming in from class.

“You wear glasses?” That was new.

Kyung touched them. “Sometimes,” he answered. “Mostly for reading.”

“They make you look smart.” They gave Kyung a youthful, boyish handsomeness that Jaehyo hadn’t noticed before. He looked at Kyung and smiled. “Can I ask you something?”

Kyung shrugged. Glancing at the snoring Yukwon, Kyung sat on the other bed. “I am pretty smart though. It’s not just a look. But yeah, what is it?”

It hurt to ask but Jaehyo felt the need to know. “Why are you here? You seem like you’ve got everything all figured out.”

Kyung was so unlike any of the others that Zico had taken in. Kyung had a future, an obvious one. A human life he could go back to. So why was he spending so much of his precious time here?

The younger man shrugged. “Zico was a cool guy. We got to be friends and he offered me a room when I mentioned how hard it was to do anything music-related around my family.”

“That sounds like him.” Jaehyo could practically see it.

“What about you?” Kyung gave him a look but it was hard for Jaehyo to decipher. “How’d you end up here? And why stay?”

“Zico’s the answer for both of those questions,” Jaehyo answered. He felt Yukwon shift and took advantage of it, moving himself into a sitting position.

“But how’d you meet? Hell, when?”

“Aren’t you a church boy?” Jaehyo answered, amused at the cursing. “Are you allowed to curse?”

“This is the only place I slip up with that sort of language.” At least Kyung had the decency to look embarrassed. “But you still haven’t answered my questions.”

He was hoping Kyung wouldn’t have noticed that. “I’m not sure when we met,” Jaehyo finally admitted. “I’m not even sure quite when I was born. I know it was in a year of the horse but as to what year…” He shrugged, trying to not show how he really felt. “Back then, your sign was important, not your birth year.” He had a decent idea but the exact year had always escaped him. That wasn’t really important anyways. The only thing that mattered was that compared to any normal human, Jaehyo was old.

Kyung sat there listening, soaking in Jaehyo’s words. No pressure there or anything.

“I was on the streets when I met Zico. He did me a kindness and after some time, we grew friendly.” He knew he was leaving out a lot of details but this wasn’t just his story. And he didn’t particularly care to remember some of the others.

“He saved you.” Kyung said it as if that explained everything.

Jaehyo shook his head. “I saved myself.” He could hear the fire in his own voice. It was the truth though. Zico hadn't been the one to save him. He had saved himself long before he’d ever met the vampire.

“You never talk about yourself,” Yukwon’s sleepy voice said. Jaehyo jumped. He hadn’t realized Yukwon had woken up.

“Why not?” Kyung asked.

“My past isn’t something I like to think about, let alone talk about,” Jaehyo admitted. He’d told Jiho some of it and the vampire had been able to figure out the rest. It was easy to be around Jiho though because he was from that same world. He’d lived in it, knew what it was like to have lived in that time.

Yukwon sat up, leaning on Jaehyo. It brought Jaehyo more comfort than he cared to admit. He appreciated the move and pulled Yukwon closer.

“You two are close,” Kyung observed, watching them.

Jaehyo and Yukwon both nodded.

“Zico’s had many people in this house,” Jaehyo replied. “I'm not his first human, just the one who stayed with him the longest.” Hugging Yukwon, Jaehyo continued. “But I’ve picked a few of the people. Yukwon’s one of mine.”

He could still remember the first time he’d spotted Yukwon. How sad and tiny the boy had been.

“I’m the one who started calling you ‘Hyung’. Remember that?” Yukwon asked.

Jaehyo nodded. “Yeah, I remember. Before you, I was always Jaehyo or Jaehyo-hyung.” After Yukwon’s arrival, he’d just become known as Hyung. “He’s my brother,” Jaehyo said, trying to explain the situation. “Not literally but in spirit.” Which was why even laying in bed like this would never make Jiho jealous. There was a love between Jaehyo and this boy but it was a familial sort. No lust. No sexual tension. Just love, support, and protection. Jiho understood and for that, Jaehyo was eternally grateful.

Kyung stared at them. At Jaehyo. “One of yours...like a vampire might say…”

“I’m not a vampire,” Jaehyo reminded. “We’ve been out together during the day.”

“Yeah…” Kyung’s voice trailed off again. He shook his head. “I’m headed off for a nap.” He didn’t wait for either of them to respond, just walking out right away.

“Is he always like that?” Jaehyo had to wonder. Yukwon shrugged and laid back down.

\---

Jiho counted each of his humans. Jihoon and Minho were in their room. Kyung was in his. Yukwon and Jaehyo in Yukwon’s. All of them were safe here. All of them were safe.

He knew Jaehyo was right. They needed more people. A small handful was going to kill them all. Jiho could already feel the hunger clawing at him. He’d been trying to get by for months, taking the bare minimum from his household and frequently going hunting for other sources.

It had been a relief to find Kyung and Minho. Before them, things had been getting downright terrifying. He’d come so close to taking too much. Every single day had been torture with the same question bearing down on him constantly. Would he last without snapping?

He dressed, planning to head upstairs. He stopped when he saw Jaehyo’s room. It had been cleaned. The room wasn’t back to normal but most of the debris has been cleared away. Shame flooded him.

He couldn’t remember when he’d lost it. When he’d destroyed this room. Rage and hunger had left him blind then. When he spotted the bed, Jiho sighed. Jaehyo hadn’t moved it. Had be been unable to? The bed was rather awkward, being both large and heavy.

Luckily, one of the perks of vampirism was strength. Jiho couldn’t pick up everything but the bed presented far less of a challenge to him than it would a human. He placed it back on its frame. Without pillows and blankets, it just looked empty. He’d have to get some. Green and brown had been Jaehyo’s colors before but Jiho thought a nice blue might help make the place look opening and friendly again.

They needed Jaehyo to stay.

 **He** needed Jaehyo to stay.

Jaehyo was the heart of this house. He always had been. While everyone was there for the vampire, to feed him, it was Jaehyo who had turned this place into a home. He’d been the one they’d all stayed for. Had left because of.

Jiho wasn’t an idiot. He knew his humans had never been completely loyal to him. They had been loyal to Jaehyo. His beautiful, kind, funny, dorky Jaehyo. The one who knew pain, carrying but never showing it until he was safely in private. Jaehyo with his loving heart that looked for the best in everyone.

He still wasn’t sure why Yukwon stayed. Jiho had expected him to follow after Jaehyo immediately. He’d always known that Yukwon belonged to Jaehyo, that he was only there because of Jaehyo and not for the vampire. But Yukwon had stayed. He stayed and had been the only one who could bring Jiho glimpses of peace a few different times.

Walking through the rooms, Jiho slowly headed towards the heart of the house. When he reached Yukwon’s door, he didn’t bother knocking. That was the benefit of being, well, him. The sight that greeted him warmed his heart.

Yukwon and Jaehyo were curled up together. Long limbs, blond hair, dark hair, all twisted together in sleep. A leg, Jaehyo’s, was thrown over Yukwon who was holding Jaehyo in his arms. Their heads were so close. Jiho knew he could kiss them both in one move if he wished. Looking at them, he felt like he’d burst from the love and warmth the sight was giving him.

Jaehyo was bonding with his child. Obviously Yukwon wasn’t the man’s literal child but Jaehyo had raised the boy. If anyone could help Jiho keep Jaehyo here, it was Yukwon. They’d failed once but they wouldn’t fail again.

Jaehyo shifted. He groaned.

“Quiet,” Jiho said. “You’ll wake your son.”

“He’s not my son, Jiho,” Jaehyo growled back, his voice heavy with sleep.

Jiho snorted. “Keep telling yourself that all you want.” He dodged the pillow that had been lobbed at his head. Moving Jaehyo’s feet to clear a little room on the bed, Jiho sat.

“You’re up early.” Jaehyo yawned but made no move to get up. He seemed content laying in Yukwon’s arms. That or he didn’t want to wake his boy.

“You slept in,” Jiho shot back. Reaching over, he found Jaehyo’s calf and began rubbing it.

“I felt bad about waking him,” Jaehyo admitted, nodding towards his sleeping child.

“I’m still surprised he stayed.” Jiho paused to pat Yukwon’s leg affectionately. “He’s always been so loyal to you.”

“This is his home.” Jaehyo was so cute in his confusion. “Of course he’d stay.”

Jiho shook his head. “You know that’s not it. He could have left like the others.” After all, this had been their home too.

“Jiho...why did they leave?” Jaehyo was biting his lip. His nervousness was clear and it broke Jiho’s heart that much more.

He didn’t want to answer that. Eventually he knew he’d have to but he hoped it’d be later when he might be ready for it.

“They left because you left.”

Jiho’s eyes flew to where Yukwon lay there, completely awake. “And,” the youngest continued, shooting Jiho a look, “I stayed because if I left, you wouldn’t have survived. And when Hyung returned, it’d kill him.”

Yukwon’s words echoed throughout the room. The words rang over and over in Jiho’s head. He could admit there was a certain amount of sense to them. Yukwon had always been more dedicated to Jaehyo than he had been to Jiho. But he was also a thoughtful child who was always thinking ahead. It made sense, from a child’s perspective, how he would be willing to sacrifice himself in order to try protecting Jaehyo.

“They shouldn’t have left just because of me.” Jaehyo shook his head, not seeing was what so obvious to everyone else.

“They did,” Jiho replied. “This house needs you.”

Yukwon nodded in agreement. “You left and it became just a house with a vampire and some people.” He hugged Jaehyo. “Not a home. Just...a place.”

Jaehyo didn’t reply. He stayed there, quiet, as he seemed to take in their words. Jiho could only hope it would be enough to convince him to say with them forever. They needed him because without Jaehyo’s kind, gentle presence, they were nothing.

Jiho was nothing.

\---

When he returned to the house, Kyung was surprised to find he could hear someone yelling. It was faint but he could definitely make out something. Following the noise, he found himself in front of Yukwon’s room. He knocked because just barging in felt rude.

“Come in,” Jaehyo’s voice called out, reminding Kyung that the guy had moved into there. He’d been surprised to find out that Jaehyo had decided to move in there instead of Zico’s rooms since the guy apparently knew how to access them.

Kyung walked in. And stared. Jaehyo and Yukwon were laying in bed together. Yukwon was curled up, arms wrapped around and clutching at Jaehyo’s shirt. He looked so soft and at peace in his sleep but his grip showed a surprising amount of possessiveness.

“Is everything okay?” Was Yukwon naked? It didn’t look like he had a shirt on. Was this how these two repaid Zico for all he’d done for them? By sleeping together behind his back.

“Or am I interrupting something?” He wondered how Zico would react if he saw this.

“Just a friendly cuddle. Right, Kwonnie?” Jaehyo replied. Yukwon snored. “And he’s out.” Jaehyo had an amused expression on his face. “I’d offer you a seat but…” he gestured an arm towards his bedmate.

Kyung understood. “Is everything okay?” He repeated. “I heard yelling when I came in.”

He wondered which of these two had been doing it. They both seemed so at peace now.

“You wear glasses?”

Kyung reached up, touching them self-consciously. He forgot he was still wearing them. “They’re for reading.”

“They make you look smart.”

Kyung wanted to beam in pride. He was rather smart. Not that he was bragging or anything.

Jaehyo looked him over, smiling in a sad, sweet way. It made Kyung feel ill for some reason. “Can I ask you something?”

Ignoring the sick feeling, Kyung shrugged. “I am pretty smart though.” He felt the urge to make it known he wasn’t all looks. Not like some people. “It’s not just a look. But yeah, what is it?”

The question punched Kyung in the chest when he heard it.

“Why are you here? You seem like you’ve got everything all figured out.”

How could he tell Jaehyo any of it? Jaehyo had so much of what Kyung craved. So Kyung went basic, skimming over all of his story.

“Zico was a cool guy.” Amazing and eye-catching, the sort you couldn’t forget even if you tried. “We got to be friends and he offered me a room when I mentioned how hard it was to do anything music-related around my family.”

Technically that was true. His parents humored his musical inclinations but they weren’t the most supportive. They thought he could do so much more.

“That sounds like him.”

Kyung stared at Jaehyo. He had to know, now more than ever. How had Jaehyo come here? How had he gotten Zico?

“What about you? How’d you end up here?” And most importantly, “and why stay?”

“Zico’s the answer for both those questions,” Jaehyo answered. Yukwon shifted in his sleeping, loosening his grip enough to allow Jaehyo to move into a sitting position.

That wasn’t really an answer. Kyung wanted, no he needed, answers. Maybe if he had some, it would be easier to let go of the vampire. “But how’d you meet? Hell, when?” After all, Kyung knew this human in front of him was old. He had no idea just how old Jaehyo was but maybe that could unlock some of the mystery.

“Aren’t you a church boy? Are you even allowed to curse?” Jaehyo sounded like he was trying not to chuckle.

No. “This is the only place I slip up with that sort of language,” Kyung admitted, flushing in embarrassment. But he figured if he was going to hell for this house, he might as well curse when he needed to. “But you still haven’t answered my questions.”

“I’m not sure when we met,” Jaehyo finally said. “I’m not even quite sure when I was born. I know it was in a year of the horse but as to what year…” Jaehyo shrugged. Kyung tried not to stare. How fucking old was this guy? “Back then, your sign was important, not your birth year.”

“I was on the streets when I met Zico,” Jaehyo continued. “He did me a kindness and after some time, we grew friendly.”

“He saved you.”

That explained a lot. Why Jaehyo had stuck around so long. Why he’d returned. Even why Zico was so transfixed by the man. If he’d saved Jaehyo, that meant he was invested in Jaehyo’s well-being.

“I saved myself.” Jaehyo’s voice was laced with fire. The strength behind his words was shocking, not at all the soft admiration Kyung had expected to hear.

“You never talk about yourself,” a new voice said. Yukwon yawned, looking at them. Kyung hadn’t noticed him waking up. Had he been listening the whole time?

Then Yukwon’s words hit him and Kyung’s curiosity grew. “Why not?”

A certain sadness washed over Jaehyo. “My past isn’t something I like to think about, let alone talk about.”

Which did nothing to curb Kyung’s ever growing curiosity.

Yukwon sat, hugging Jaehyo. Looking at them now, Kyung couldn’t feel the heat of lovers. No, they were something else. “You two are close.”

They nodded in unison which was only somewhat freaky. “Zico’s had many people in this house,” Jaehyo started. The words hit Kyung hard, harder than he knew they were meant to. He knew he wasn’t the first human. Obviously. There were others who had been here first but the way Jaehyo said it drove the point home. “I’m not his first human.”

That however was a surprise.

“Just the one who stayed with him the longest.” Which did help explain the relationship between the two though Kyung was loath to admit it. Jaehyo gave Yukwon a hug, holding the younger man close to him. “But I’ve picked a few of the people. Yukwon’s one of mine.”

The way he said that didn’t even sound human. Kyung was suddenly hit by a thought. What would such a long life with a vampire do to a person? Jaehyo didn’t even know when he was born. That pointed to him having lived a very long life. Just how human was Jaehyo?

Kyung could barely hear the other two speak over the roaring thunder of his own thoughts. They were talking about something, something about brothers in there. His own thoughts were louder.

Could Jaehyo really be human? He could do so many things that Kyung couldn’t. That the other humans couldn’t. Had all his time with Zico changed Jaehyo somehow?

If Kyung stayed that long, would he eventually become like Jaehyo?

He knew he was staring at Jaehyo but he couldn’t help it. “One of yours...like a vampire might say.”

Jaehyo shook his head. “I’m not a vampire. We’ve been out together during the day.”

True. But that didn’t mean Jaehyo was fully human. “Yeah…” Kyung shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts and failing. “I’m headed off for a nap.” Kyung doubted he’d actually be able to sleep but he needed some space now to deal with the flood of thoughts pounding at his consciousness.


	8. just lean on me, closing your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait! I've been sidelined by school and being sick this past week T_T

Jiho and Yukwon’s words kept repeating over and over in his head. Had Jaehyo been mistaken about his role in this house? While he knew he’d been important, Jaehyo hadn’t thought he was that important.

But then how else could he explain all the humans leaving when they did?

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed there. Yukwon curled up next to him, Jiho sitting at their legs. It was a comforting spot. He felt like he was home. Then again, he was. This house and these two were more his home than anywhere else. He could see this now more than he could when he’d left.

“I’ll stay.”

Both of them turned to look at him.

In his heart, Jaehyo could admit he knew this would happen. From the moment Jihoon had shown up at his door, he’d known. He couldn’t leave here. He’d never wanted to leave to begin with.

“Are you sure?” Yukwon asked, his voice sounding off. Almost like he was afraid.

Jaehyo nodded. Resigned himself to his fate. He’d grow old, watching Jiho stay young. Watching Jiho one day fall in love with someone else. The thought killed him but he could do it. He would. “Until the day I die.”

And even after, if Jiho were to ever think of turning him.

“What about after?” Yukwon asked. He was staring at Jiho who was avoiding them both.

Jaehyo patted Yukwon, loving this boy because he knew they were all thinking it. “As long as Jiho will have me,” Jaehyo confirmed. Because he would stay. This was his home and everything he wanted, he loved, was here.

Jiho was still avoiding them. That was okay. Jaehyo knew how difficult a decision he’d had a year ago. No doubt Jiho would need some time to think, to process, everything.

“Are you staying in here with me?”

It was adorable how childlike Yukwon was being. Jaehyo was reminded of when the boy was a child. He’d been such a cute kid, one who’d grown into a handsome young man.

“Do you want me to?” Jahyo asked. He didn’t mind, especially since his own room was still a tad disaster-y. It also felt odd to just move back in. Though they were getting along, and at times, it felt like no time had passed, there were still moments in which Jaehyo could feel a gaping canyon between Jiho and himself.

Yukwon shrugged. “It’d be nice.”

Jaehyo turned his attention towards the vampire. “Is that okay with you?” They both knew he couldn’t return to his old room yet but there was no reason why Jaehyo had to stay with Yukwon. More times than not, Jaehyo’s room had been more for show anyways.

Jiho nodded slowly. “Your room will be ready for when you decide to return to it.”

That was promising. There was some work he’d need to do first anyways. There was a lot of work Jaehyo knew he needed to do in general. The thought was exhausting when he stopped to think about so he tried to push it aside, to not think about it.

“I need to do some things with the room I rented,” Jaehyo admitted. He need to let the landlord know he wouldn’t be returning. “But I’ll do that tomorrow.” He doubted the guy would want to deal with him at 3 in the morning.

“Like what?” Jiho growled, obviously unhappy with the idea.

“Like getting the few things I left behind and telling him that I won’t be back,” Jaehyo answered. It wasn’t rocket science. “However,” he added as he looked around, “if I’m going to stay in here for much longer, we have to do something with this room.” He loved Yukwon dearly but this bed was too small both of them to sleep in together. Yukwon wasn’t the same small child he used to be anymore.

“Like what?” Yukwon asked, curiosity filling his voice.

“Either sleep in separate beds or turn them into a big bed by pushing them together,” Jaehyo replied. “You’re not a little kid anymore.” He still ruffled Yukwon’s hair though. It was a hard habit to break.

He wondered when Yukwon would leave them. The boy wasn’t tied to this house like Jaehyo. Eventually Yukwon would grow tired of the place and leave. Would he find someone? Would they have children? The idea of Yukwon with children, of how loving a father he’d be, warmed Jaehyo.

“If you have kids, you need to bring them around.”

Jiho snorted in amusement. Yukwon stared. “How in the world did you end up there?” Jiho asked. He was grinning and trying not to laugh. Jaehyo felt himself falling a little more, a little harder. Jiho’s smile was magic, able to make everything better.

“He’s not a little kid anymore,” Jaehyo answered. “One day, he’ll want more than this.” He gestured to the house around them.

“You didn’t,” Yukwon shot back, pouting. “You’ve always wanted this.”

And that’s what a dagger to the heart felt like. Then again, Yukwon was a child, especially when compared to Jaehyo himself. He wanted to tell Yukwon that he was right. That Jaehyo had always loved this life with Jiho.

“You’re wrong.” It was Jiho who spoke this time. He leaned over to take Jaehyo and Yukwon’s hands.

Of course Jiho would know this. Jiho knew everything about him. Jaehyo had to look away.

“He’s always wanted a family,” Jiho continued. He squeezed Jaehyo’s hands as he spoke. “Why do you think he’s worked so hard to make this place a home?”

He hated Jiho.

This wasn’t something Jaehyo wanted to bring up. He knew he’d had his chance, that it was too late for him now. Which was why he’d always taken care of his boys. They needed to make better decisions than him. They were better than him.

\---

It was a relief to walk away from the building. Jaehyo had lived there for a year, well, close to one anyways, but it had never been his home. He’d never been able to relax there. It was too noisy. Too quiet.

He had a suitcase stuffed with the last of his things. When he’d first left Jiho’s house, he hadn’t taken much. A year on his own and he hadn’t collected much. It was still more than he’d had growing up though.

He spotted Kyung and hurried over.

“What’s that?” Kyung nodded towards the suitcase.

“The last of my things from my old room,” Jaehyo replied. “What are you up to?”

“I met up with some old friends.” Kyung yawned. He looked so young and innocent in that moment. The train showed up before Jaehyo could say anything else. Spotting two empty seats next to each other, he pulled the younger man towards them.

“Take a nap,” Jaehyo told him. “I’ll wake you before our stop.” They had an hour on this train and Kyung looked dead on his feet. Jaehyo could sympathize. He’d had to play regular human before too. Jaehyo didn’t know how Kyung did it. He was a student. He had a family and obligations to them. It was so much and Jaehyo didn’t know what he’d do if their positions were swapped. He doubted he could do it.

Kyung must have been exhausted because the subway had barely taken off and he was asleep. They were lucky Kyung wasn’t the snoring sort. Pulling out his phone, Jaehyo couldn’t help himself. He snapped a quick selfie with Kyung. They barely knew each other. This much was clear. Still, Jaehyo couldn’t help but feel protective of this child. He was one of Zico’s and that was enough.

Unfortunately, waking up Kyung was something that was easier said than done. Jaehyo wasn’t entirely sure the guy was fully awake as they walked the almost maze-like path back to the house.

“Is that really you?” A woman’s voice yelled out. It sounded vaguely familiar so Jaehyo stopped to look around. Kyung only just barely managed not to run into him.

“I was right!” A woman standing in front of a chicken restaurant said. She came over and pulled Jaehyo into a hug. Then he remembered.

“Good morning,” he greeted, hugging her back.

“I wondered if something had happened to you,” she said. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”

Gesturing towards the suitcase, he replied, “I went away for a bit but I’m back now.”

“And you’ve got a new boy?” She was looking at Kyung, curiosity evident. “He’s a cute one.”

Jaehyo laughed. “He actually arrived while I was gone. How’s your father?”

“Dad? He’s the same as ever. He’d love it if you would join us for dinner one night.” She gave him a questioning, hopeful look that was impossible not to laugh at. It was just so cute.

“He wants me for dinner? Or do you want me for dinner?” He teased.

“I wouldn’t mind either,” she admitted.

“What about your husband?”

“Now he...he might mind.”

They laughed. Jaehyo could just see her husband and the annoyed look on his face. But actually, she gave him a good idea. Jaehyo turned his best smile towards her. “If you can make it after sundown, I’ll bring Zico along.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “Really?” She half whispered. “That...Dad…”

“Yeah.” Jaehyo gave her another hug.

“Tomorrow night,” she told him. “We close at midnight so come then. Bring everyone,” she ordered. “The entire house.”

“I can try,” Jaehyo promised. He couldn’t guarantee it but he’d ask everyone if they were interested.

She stood on her tiptoes, kissing Jaehyo on the cheek. “You don’t understand just how much this will mean to my father.”

“We’ll see you tomorrow,” Jaehyo promised again.

“So…” Kyung was awake now. “Who was that?” They had walked almost a block now. Jaehyo was just impressed that Kyung had lasted this long.

“Miyoung. She’s...not one of us,” Jaehyo explained. “But she knows about us. Her father, Taeha, he was one of Zico’s for a while. He used to come back and visit us and we’d stop in at their restaurant so she’s grown up knowing us. Her husband used to be one of us too.” He smiled, remembering how he’d watched those two meet and fall in love. It had been a such a sweet moment too.

Kyung’s expression was great. He looked absolutely baffled by the idea.

“I told you this before,” Jaehyo said, recalling the conversation they’d had on the day they met. “People leave. They start their own lives. Meet lovers, have families, grow old. It’s the natural order of things.” He liked to view their house as more of a waystation, a place for those who were lost to have to time become found again.

Jaehyo himself being the sole exception to that idea.

“What about you?”

He should have expected that question. Weird how it still managed to somehow come as a surprise.

“I tried to leave,” Jaehyo pointed out. He waved a hand towards his suitcase. “You see how well that worked for me.”

He was too old and different to change, to move on. A year ago, Jaehyo had tried to fight that idea. He could accept it now even though it hurt.

“It’s not impossible to stay forever though.” Kyung started walking faster, forcing Jaehyo to hurry in order to keep up.

At least they made it across the intersection before the light changed. “I wouldn’t suggest it,” Jaehyo told him.

“Why not?”

“It’s…” Jaehyo didn’t know how to explain it. Not in a way that did it the proper justice this needed. “If I could go back in time and change things…” he shook his head. “I don’t know if I’d have to strength to leave.” He was weak. Too weak to make it in this world without Jiho. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again.

“Everyone who leaves is stronger and better than me.”

It was always bittersweet when his boys left. He loved them and he missed them. However seeing them grown and become competent, independent men was a far greater joy that was able to outweigh any of the heaviness he felt in his heart.

Jiho was right. Yukwon really was his son. He could practically hear the vampire laughing and saying ‘I told you so.’

Jaehyo took the suitcase to Yukwon’s room. The boy was sleeping so he tried to be as quiet as possible. He was impressed that he was able to get some of the things put away. Sleep was tugging at him. Looking at the bed, the one he’d claimed for now, he just sighed. It didn’t look inviting at all.

He knew where he wanted to be.

Jiho didn’t stir as Jaehyo crawled into the vampire’s bed. No surprises there. The sun was shining brightly so the vampire was dead to the world.

“Don’t ask me to leave,” Jaehyo murmured as he mentally traced the lines of Jiho’s face. “Just let me stay by your side forever. That’s all I ask.” No more asking to be turned. He was done with that. Even though it was his heart’s desire, he was done.

Reaching over, he ran his fingers through Jiho’s soft, blond hair. The man really was striking. Maybe not a traditional sort of handsome but handsome nonetheless. He caught everyone’s attention and didn’t let go. Jaehyo couldn’t blame himself for falling for the man. He’d never stood a chance.

\---

“You survived.”

Jaehyo’s head snapped up at the voice. He recognized it instantly even though he’d only met its owner once.

“Yeah…” Jaehyo looked at the man in front of him. “You did too.”

The guy smiled. Warning bells rang in Jaehyo’s head. “That’s not as impressive. I’m not the one living on the streets.”

Fair enough.

“That blanket helped,” Jaehyo admitted reluctantly. It looked fairly gross now but it had definitely helped him.

“What happened to it?” The guy asked, sitting down next to Jaehyo.

He motioned towards the ground. “Still got it.” He’d kill anyone who tried to take it from him. But for now, he had it spread out to lay on. Spring was a different beast than winter after all.

“Is this where you’re staying now?”

Jaehyo instantly went on alert. “I move from night to night.” For example, he’d be moving tomorrow now that this guy had asked. It sucked too because he’d rather liked this spot.

The guy nodded. “That explains why I haven’t seen you since. I was keeping a look out too.”

“Why?” The iron spikes in Jaehyo’s voice were hard to miss.

“Curiosity,” the guy admitted with an easiness Jaehyo couldn’t help but envy. “I’m Jiho, by the way.”

It was a pretty name. Somehow it seemed to suit the guy perfectly too which made no sense because this guy, he wasn’t pretty. Striking, yes. Maybe even handsome. But not pretty.

“Jaehyo,” he replied. A shiver when through him when the guy, Jiho, repeated the name. Jaehyo hadn’t expected that. Especially because it wasn’t the smart, fearful response he knew he should have.

The next night, Jaehyo found himself in that same spot again even though he’d told himself he should move. This time, Jiho brought food.

It wasn’t until the sixth night that Jaehyo realized he still hadn’t seen Jiho eat.

“I ate earlier,” Jiho lied.

Two weeks and Jaehyo had to ask. “Why do you keep coming here?”

Jiho smiled, sadness lingering in his expression. “You remind me of who I used to be.”

That was a laugh. Jaehyo snorted in amusement. “Dirty and starving?”

“That too. Angry. Hating the world. Asking why I was born.”

Jaehyo couldn’t breathe. Is that how Jiho saw him? He could understand why the guy might think that way but it was wrong. “I’m free.”

“This is free?” Jiho waved an arm around at the little site Jaehyo had claimed.

Jaehyo nodded. “No one tells me when I can eat or what. No one controls when I sleep.” No one touched him or tried to use him. “It’s not the best but I’d rather live here, barely getting by, than in any fancy palace.” They were just pretty cages.

Jiho stared at him. There was clear disbelief on his face. So Jaehyo decided he could share a little of his past. Jiho had proved himself to be a decent guy. And if he turned out to not be, Jaehyo would just vanish during the day. “I lived at a noble’s estate. I’d rather kill myself before I ever return there.”

Jiho kept staring. Finally he said it. “You don’t look like a noble’s son.”

Jaehyo smiled but it wasn’t a happy one. “I’m not. I was just…” He stopped, not wanting to say it. He hated that part of himself, of his past. Maybe someone else would have been happy in Jaehyo’s shoes. He’d often overheard male servants whispering about how nice his life must be, how spoiled and pampered they’d be if they were him.

“A toy.”

Jaehyo spat out the words, filling them with all the years of hate and loathing he’d felt.

To his credit, Jiho didn’t look impressed or disgusted. He showed no emotion at all. It was an honest relief.

“And that’s why you’d rather be here,” Jiho said. There was an unexpected softness of his voice that made Jaehyo feel calmer. Some of his earlier agitation melted away as he nodded in agreement. Damn straight he’d rather live out here. Sure there were times he missed things like walls and a roof but he could survive without them.

Jaehyo stretched. He’d have thought this would be far worse. He’d been nervous to mention his past to anyone. He hadn’t wanted to see pitying looks or disgust in anyone’s eyes. So he’d kept this to himself. Until Jiho. As he looked at the guy, Jaehyo had to wonder if he might actually be able to call Jiho a friend.

As soon as he thought it, he knew the answer. Yes. As much as Jaehyo had wanted and tried to wall himself off, he couldn’t. Not completely. He figured he’d hate himself if anyone else ever ever had any clue about his past. The calm that was settling over him was an interesting surprise. The fact that he was okay with feeling this way was an even bigger one.

“Are you planning on staying here forever?” Jiho asked.

Feeling a sense of peace he hadn’t felt in as long a time as he could remember, Jaehyo laid down on the blanket. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead.” Most of the time, his thoughts for the future were focused on what he’d be doing in a few hours, the next day at most. Any further than that just didn’t make sense.

So Jaehyo decided to admit this. “I really hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

Jiho moved and suddenly he was laying on the blanket too. He wasn’t right next to Jaehyo but it was still enough. Jaehyo’s throat constricted, cutting off his air supply. He couldn’t breathe.

An eternity passed in that moment. Jiho stayed in his spot, not moving. When Jaehyo realized this, the panic smothering him lifted.

_Thank you._

He couldn’t say the words but he meant them with all his heart.

“I have an empty space.” Jiho’s words broke the comforting silence that had settled between them. “It’s not huge but it’s inside.”

Jaehyo would be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted. He wanted to take it. The idea of not spending each night with an eye open, of potentially getting some real actual restful sleep made him want to sing in relief. He wouldn’t have to worry about weather, about what he’d do on a cold night, during a rainy day. So far, Jiho had given him absolutely no reason not to trust him. And yet, Jaehyo still found his brain screaming ‘Danger!’ anytime he saw the guy.

“No.”

Jaehyo wanted to cry. Frustration burned as he fought back tears. He desperately wanted to take the offer. As much as he’d said he’d prefer living out here, it was hell.

“Not now,” he managed to add. Please let Jiho understand. Please. It wasn’t that Jaehyo didn’t want to take the offer. He just couldn’t and he hated himself for that.

“I kind of figured you’d say that,” Jiho replied with that same easiness that Jaehyo found himself loving. “It’s fine.”

It wasn’t fine. Jaehyo wanted to scream the words at the top of his lungs but they were frozen in his throat.

“I’ll ask again.” Jiho had rolled onto his side and was looking at Jaehyo. He flashed a smile, one that was so sweet and pure that Jaehyo felt his heart stutter. It made Jiho look soft and young. Handsome. That smile promised so much. It said trust me and vowed to never push Jaehyo, to purposefully hurt him.

“Not now,” Jiho added. “But you can expect it again.”

A warmth Jaehyo couldn’t remember feeling before lit in his heart. It wasn’t much but he already knew what would happen next time.


	9. i guess love is a thing that is hard for even one’s own self to accept

There was a weight on him and hair in his face when he woke. Jiho grinned when he realized who it was. He had his Jaehyo. His kind, beautiful Jaehyo.

In his sleep, Jaehyo was even more breathtaking. When he slept, Jaehyo was able to let his guard down. All the stresses that bothered him melted away, showing a version that was able to relax. Jiho loved it. When he saw this version of Jaehyo, it made him feel special. This wasn’t the same version of Jaehyo that everyone got to see. No, this version was reserved just for him.

This was the same innocent person who had stolen his heart at first glance. Jiho could still remember how he felt when he first spotted Jaehyo.

Back then, they’d both been so much younger. Jaehyo had been terrifyingly skinny. Dirt was soaked into his skin. A wild mess of hair sat on his head. It was obvious even then that he’d surrounded himself in walls topped with iron spikes that promised to stop anyone who dared come near. And he had a fire inside that called to Jiho, drawing him in.

He still wasn’t sure why he’d bought that blanket. He’d acted without thinking then. But he’d **had** to get it. He had to get it and give it to Jaehyo. It was a compulsion he’d been unable to fight. He was glad though because that blanket allowed them to meet.

Jiho had no clue what he would have done all these years without this man by his side. Jaehyo was special. He might try to deny it but Jiho knew the truth. Jaehyo kept him sane. No one else could do that. They’d tried but the last year had been difficult. So much more difficult that any of the humans knew.

He wasn’t sure how long he laid there, watching Jaehyo sleep. It didn’t matter. He could stay here all night. It was almost a disappointment when he noticed Jaehyo starting to wake.

“How late is it?” Jaehyo yawned, trying to fully wake up. Sleep clung to him. Something about it awakened a hunger in the vampire.

“No clue,” Jiho answered truthfully as he let his hands roam across Jaehyo’s chest. The guy might look soft but there was firm muscle hidden there.

“Ji…” Jaehyo’s voice trailed off as Jiho thumbed a nipple. It was such a pretty sight, seeing Jaehyo’s eyes roll back.

The vampire grinned, knowing he’d won before anything had even started. Pinching and rolling it between his fingers, Jiho’s smile grew as he felt the nipple harden. Jaehyo was biting his lip which only made him even more irresistible. Jiho had missed this, had been waiting so long to be back here.

“We should get,” Jaehyo tried protesting but it was clear he didn’t mean it. At least, that’s how Jiho chose to interpret the situation. He had a feeling that was fine because Jaehyo was tugging on the vampire’s own shirt.

Pausing for a moment, Jiho tossed his shirt off. The long look of appreciation Jaehyo gave was more than enough to let the vampire knew they weren’t going anywhere for awhile. Hands pulled at him, guiding Jiho over until he found himself straddling the human. Jiho grinned. Maybe he’d get lucky and they wouldn’t even leave the bed.

The sweats he wore did little to hide his body’s reaction, his approval of the situation. Not that Jaehyo’s own seemed to be complaining. Jiho could feel a similar approval through Jaehyo’s thin pajamas. Smirking, Jiho slowly started grinding against the human. The hands on his hips tried urging him to move faster, to press against Jaehyo harder. He obliged one of those wants.

An annoyed growl came from Jaehyo. It was the hottest sound Jiho had ever heard.

Stopping for a moment, Jiho looked down at the beautiful man underneath him. “What?” He asked, perfectly content to just sit there, playing at innocence.

“You know what.” There was need in Jaehyo’s voice. It sent a surge of power through Jiho. He’d literally held human lives in his hands before but those moments, all of them, paled in comparison. This was the power that Jaehyo gave him.

He stayed where he was, trying to play innocent but it was hard. Another growl came from Jaehyo before the human’s hands were forcefully pushing and pulling on Jiho’s hips. Unable to help himself, Jiho let himself go with it. He could have fought it longer but why would he want to do that?

Bending down, Jiho found his favorite spot to feed from. He could feel the scarring from all his feedings under his lips. If he knew that Jaehyo didn’t enjoy it just as much, he’d have felt bad for leaving this mark on the human. But he didn’t. It showed everyone that Jaehyo was his, that they shouldn’t even bother. He nipped at the spot, enjoying the needy moan that responded.

Neither one of them would last long. They knew each other too well. Their bodies knew how to push and meld against one another perfectly. The time they spent apart only made it worse, giving the situation an air of urgency they’d never had before. Stars started sparkling in the back of Jiho’s vision, exploding into a display that left him breathless as he came. Collapsing on his human, Jiho was panting as the waves of pleasure rolled over him.

He had mostly come back to himself when he felt Jaehyo’s body tense underneath him. Jiho struck, biting down on the human’s neck. He pulled long and hard, the rich iron blood flooding his mouth. The lust and heat of the moment seasoned the blood. Knowing the reason for these feelings only made Jiho feel drunk with power. With the knowledge that he alone was able to inspire Jaehyo to feel this way.

They laid there for a while. Jiho didn’t move, instead taking the opportunity to lay his head on the human’s chest. He could hear Jaehyo’s heart beating; its never ending rhythm lulling him into a sense of security. With this human by his side, he knew he’d be okay. He could last forever like this.

Eventually discomfort won out. With a familiarity born out of entirely too many years (and yet they were never enough) together, they dragged themselves to the shower. It was more than able to handle both of them at the same time. After all, it’d been designed for them both to use it at the same time.

No words were needed. They had done this same routine countless numbers of time before. It was familiar and comforting in a way that nothing else was. There was a simple, easy trust that existed where they didn’t need to speak, didn’t need to touch, where they could just enjoy the time together.

Times like this, it took everything in Jiho to not blurt out why he was so reluctant to turn Jaehyo. He knew it was something Jaehyo wanted. That Jaehyo longed for. He’d asked so many times and each time, Jiho was terrified that his answer would send Jaehyo away. And then it had. But it made sense for Jaehyo to become a vampire. It was the one way they could truly stay together forever.

If Jaehyo were a vampire, would he need Jiho?

The fear that Jaehyo would change terrified him. He loved his Jaehyo. Not everyone stayed the same when they were turned. Jiho knew he was different, that he’d changed. If Jaehyo became a vampire, would he lose everything about him that Jiho loved?

He knew it was selfish. That didn’t make it go away.

The fact that the alternative was just as terrifying didn’t help. He was always afraid he’d lose Jaehyo. Watching the man slowly age was the hardest part of each night.

Fingers scrubbed his hair, massaging his scalp. The sensation jolted Jiho out of his thoughts. It was a delicious feeling, having Jaehyo’s fingers in his hair. He had to bite back a moan of pleasure.

“Miyoung wants all of us to come over tomorrow night,” Jaehyo said, breaking the quiet. “I told her we’d go.”

So they were going. That was fine with Jiho. He liked the girl. She was always so cute and full of life, always fun and nice. Plus, she drove Taeha crazy and that was always amusing to watch.

“I’m going to ask them if they’ll let you feed from them.” Jaehyo bit his lip, obviously nervous.

Did he think Jiho would be angry? He wasn’t. It was a smart idea. Taeha, Miyoung, and Dongyul all knew about him, about what Zico was. Taeha and Dongyul had been his feeders at one point of their lives and knew what it was like. And while they weren’t as old as Jaehyo, they weren’t as young as Kyung and Jihoon which meant their blood was richer. It’d feed him better.

“It’s a smart idea,” Jiho said, realizing that Jaehyo was looking for an answer. If he’d been able to think, he should have thought of it. Instead, he’d spent a year moping and destroying everything. Instead of drawing others in, he’d just pushed them away.

\---

Kyung looked at the red light in surprise. It was rare to see Zico in the studio without being in there with him. Stranger still to see Jaehyo in there with him. The sound proofing meant Kyung couldn’t hear anything but if he were to guess, he’d say they were listening to something. No clue what. Zico had tons of songs recorded in there, enough to put any professional musician to shame.

He’d come to tell someone that he was headed out for the night but there was no one to tell. Jihoon and Minho had left already. Yukwon was napping. And Zico...he was lost to Kyung.

There was a serious yet somehow peaceful expression on the vampire’s handsome face. It hurt to see. That face clearly said that the person the vampire was looking at was the only one in the world who mattered. And that person wasn’t Kyung.

He wanted that look. He longed to see it directed at himself. That sort of love was the one thing he wanted and it was the one thing he’d never get.

“Hey, you made it after all!” Minhyuk pulled Kyung over to a group of guys. A few of their faces seemed familiar but Kyung had no idea who exactly they were. No doubt he’d seen them around campus but none of them had been in any of his classes.

“What, you thought I’d bail?” Kyung accepted the drink someone pushed into his hand. He almost had bailed. If Zico had been alone, he would have figured out some excuse to stay with the guy.

Minhyuk threw an arm around Kyung. “You’ve never come before,” the guy said. “I was starting to think you didn’t like me.”

It was easy to hang out with Minhyuk and his friends. They were interested in having a good time. They didn’t delve into anything deep. They just wanted to relax and have fun. Being around them, Kyung was able to remember what it was like to be a normal human.

Some drinks later, Kyung looked around at the table their group had taken over. “Where’d Minhyuk-hyung go?” He asked, frowning. He hadn’t noticed it before but the guy had vanished at some point. One of the guys (Jun?) looked up from where he’d been talking with a girl who’d sat with them. Pointing towards the dance floor, he turned his attention back to the girl.

For a moment, Kyung looked and saw nothing. Well, that was a lie. The dance floor was a mess of bodies all mixing and intertwining with each other. Then he spotted Minhyuk.

The man had an easy fluidity that didn’t seem human. His body, lean and hard, flowed from one motion into the next in a way that clearly wasted nothing. Each movement oozed sensuality that made it impossible for Kyung to look away. Minhyuk’s eyes were closed and his head thrown back. Sweat dripped down his neck, staining his shirt until it clung like a second skin.

Kyung swallowed hard. He’d always known his friend was handsome but he’d never quite realized just how much.

And then their eyes connected.

Breathing wasn’t necessary, was it? Because that was something his lungs definitely didn’t remember how to do.

Minhyuk smirked, beckoning Kyung to come join him. No way was that happening. Kyung could be realistic and he knew himself. He was definitely not a dancer. A scholar and a part-time rapper yes but a dancer? Nope. No way. He had the dancing ability of an egg.

Which is exactly what he told Minhyuk when the guy came over. “I have the dancing ability of an egg,” Kyung protested as the guy pulled his arm.

“You just have to feel the music,” was Minhyuk’s answer. He reached over and poured two shots. Handing Kyung one, he clinked his against the one in Kyung’s hand and drank.

“I can feel it just fine,” Kyung replied, drinking the one in his hand. “I just can’t dance to it.”

“Let me teach you.” Minhyuk’s voice was in his his ear. “It’s not hard.”

Easy for the dancing god to say. Pouring another set of shots, Kyung drank another. He needed the liquid courage to get through this.

Hands rested on his hips, trying to get Kyung to feel the beat. They guided him, trying to get him to sway to the beat in a way that his body protested. Hips were not supposed to move that way. And those hands...they were warm and firm and no one else had ever touched him like this. Only the alcohol in his system let Kyung ignore the embarrassment he’d normally feel about this.

“You got it,” Minhyuk whispered encouragingly. He pulled away, letting Kyung shine alone. Except Kyung knew he wasn’t shining. He was flopping around. It was an honest relief when he stumbled back into Minhyuk.

A warm chuckle and those familiar hands helped Kyung manage something that could almost be called dancing. Maybe it wasn’t so bad. At least when he had Minhyuk by his side, dancing didn’t seem quite as awful.

When Kyung stumbled into his bed a few hours later, he realized he hadn’t thought about Zico the entire time.

\---

Miyoung looked so old. That was the first thought that ran through Jiho’s head when they stepped into the restaurant. It felt like just yesterday she and Dongyul were kids getting married. That last week, she was sneaking over to visit, wanting to play.

“You never change,” she said, giving Jiho a hug. “Uncle Z, you really do defy time.”

“And you look lovelier than ever,” he lied. He didn’t know what else to say. Especially when all he really wanted to do was mention how old she’d gotten.

“I got old,” she protested. “Dongyul and Dad are in the back, finishing everything.” She looked around at their little group, obviously counting them. “Was everyone else busy tonight?”

“This is all we have right now,” Jaehyo’s warm voice said in Jiho’s ear.

She cast the group a worried look. “This is it?”

“For now,” Jaehyo answered, trying to reassure her.

A couple of tables had been pushed together in the middle of the restaurant. Drinks and some water were already on them but everything else was missing. Jaehyo took the lead, all the humans following him as the man yelled out, “we’re here!”

An older man walked out first. He was thin and had a head full of hair. The black was peppered with silver though. Wrinkles had formed at some point, the lines marking the passage of time. It took Jiho a moment to recognize the man. Dongyul.

He’d gotten old just like Miyoung. His brain had always known that humans aged but it was jarring to see how the normal passage of time affected them.

“You never change, do you?” Dongyul asked, looking back and forth between Jaehyo and the vampire.

“Not in your lifetime,” Jaehyo answered. He seemed to be having an easier time. He didn’t seem to be affected at all. Did time not touch him in the same way? “You been staying out of trouble?”

“He only knows how to get into it,” Miyoung answered for her husband. “Just last week I had to save him from a grandmother at the market.”

Jaehyo laughed, reaching over to take the tray of food from Dongyul. “You never learn, do you?” He teased, setting the food on the table. “I’m going to see if Taeha needs any help,” he told them before vanishing into the back.

Jiho took a seat at the table. It must had been the sign the others were waiting for because they all moved to sit too. Water was passed around as everyone settled in. They were just starting to pass around the food from the tray Dongyul had brought out when Jaehyo reappeared, a platter of meat in his hand. An old man, one far older than Dongyul followed behind him.

Taeha.

Jiho almost cried.

How many years had passed by since he’d seen Taeha? Too many. That much was obvious. Last time, Taeha had been older but he’d still had a strong, healthy look to him. His hair had been black and while he’d had wrinkles, they hadn’t been that noticeable. But now...he had physically shrank. Taeha used to be taller, nearly as tall as Yukwon. He looked almost child-sized next to Jaehyo. And his hair...he’d had a head full of thick, black hair at one point but now it was just a wispy white. He walked slowly, each step unsteady in a way that was alarming.

Taeha took a seat next to Yukwon. “You look as young as ever,” he said. “I’d ask your secret but I already know it.”

Yukwon laughed. “Yeah, I never married Sera.”

“Hey!” Taeha laughed as well. The sound broke Jiho’s heart. A younger version of the man had had a booming laugh that filled whatever room he was in.

“Sera was a wonderful woman,” Jaehyo said, taking a seat next to Kyung. He sounded exactly like a parent scolding his children. That’s when Jiho realized there was no empty seat next to him. That Kyung had taken the seat Jaehyo always took. He knew there was nothing wrong with that and if Jaehyo didn’t want to make an issue out of it, neither would Jiho. It was just...different.

He tried to pay attention to the conversation but it was impossible. Every time Jiho saw Taeha, he felt sick. This was going to be Jaehyo’s fate. Eventually. One day. One day he’d grow old, grow frail.

Jaehyo would die.

A year, not even a full year, without Jaehyo had been impossible. Jiho had physically survived but it hadn’t been easy. And he’d still had the knowledge that even though Jaehyo wasn’t with him, Jaehyo was still out there.

Kyung’s laughter at his side tugged at Jiho’s attention. “Did he really?” Kyung asked, looking incredibly pleased with whatever he’d been told.

Yukwon and Dongyul nodded. “He did,” they said in unison. Yukwon grinned, adding, “he couldn’t figure it out for the longest time.”

“I never expected you two to replace my shampoo with soy sauce!” Jaehyo protested, looking both amused and annoyed at the same time.

In human years, Jaehyo was an adult. He wasn’t frozen in time like Jiho. He aged. It was a much slower process than normal humans but he was still growing older with each breath. He would die one day.

Unless Jiho did something about it.

Someone made a joke and the entire table, minus Jiho, erupted in laughter. Everyone here was somehow connected to himself but he couldn’t help but feel lost. This is what their home used to feel like but tonight, seeing Taeha, Jiho was distracted. They’d had so many people before. It used to be like this with everyone gathered, sharing meals, laughing and enjoying their lives.

Jaehyo laughed, a big goofy smile plastered on his face. Jiho wanted to see that smile every single night of his life.

“You’ve been rather quiet tonight,” Dongyul said after most the humans had left. The food had long since been eaten. Miyoung and the boys were all gone, leaving Jiho alone with Jaehyo, Taeha, and Dongyul.

Jaehyo shot the vampire a concerned look. “Are you hungry?” he asked. It was a fair question. Jiho hadn’t eaten all night. Human food did nothing for him and tasted disgusting. He could share drinks with the humans but that was it.

“A little,” Jiho admitted. He was starving but he couldn’t, wouldn’t, say that. Not now, not when Jaehyo was still so worried about him. About where and what they needed in order to keep Jiho fed.

He couldn’t let Jaehyo worry. “I’m fine though,” Jiho said, trying to keep the true depths of his hunger hidden. He’d be able to stay himself for a couple more days at least.

Jaehyo didn’t look like he believed the vampire but he nodded, trusting Jiho’s judgement. “This is why I wanted to talk with you two,” he said, addressing the other humans. “I left for a year.”

Taeha nodded. Dongyul frowned.

“While I was gone,” Jaehyo continued, “nearly everyone left.”

“And I found two more to come in.” Jiho had to point that out. He had tried. It was just hard. He’d been rather preoccupied with trying to keep his sanity.

“There were four humans trying to feed him.” Jaehyo sighed. “It’d been that way for months.”

Taeha and Dongyul had twin looks of horror on their faces. Jiho wanted to look away. Instead, he sat there. He wanted to reach over and touch Jaehyo. He craved that little bit of contact, knowing that it would keep him grounded. Talking about his shortcomings wasn’t exactly Jiho’s favorite topic.

Jaehyo took a deep breath. “I know it’s a lot to ask,” he started, “but would you be willing to help us out? To let him feed from you two every so often?”

Jiho closed his eyes, not wanting to see their reactions. Besides, he did need blood. Far more blood than he had access to. Because as he watched Jaehyo all evening, he had realized something. Had realized he didn’t have a choice about it.

He would let Jaehyo know but now wasn’t the time. There were some modifications he needed to make first. As it was, the house couldn’t handle a baby vampire.

“I’ll do it,” Dongyul offered.

“As long as it’s not too often,” Taeha agreed.

A sense of relief flooded Jiho. He hadn’t thought they’d agree. It was such a big request. These two had fed him at one point in their lives but they’d left that life behind years ago. They’d wanted to live as normal humans again. Part of being a normal human didn’t include feeding a vampire. Even the part-time help would mean a lot, especially from these two. It wasn’t quite ideal but Jiho could work with it.

“I still talk to a few of the others,” Dongyul continued. “I can see if anyone else would be willing to help out too.”

“You don’t have to do that but I’d appreciate it.” Jaehyo had a sense of peace to him, one that he’d been missing. Jiho hadn’t even realized that part of Jaehyo had been gone.

Dongyul smiled. “It’s fine,” he assured them. Looking back and forth, a warm, content expression filled his face. “Without Zico, I would never have met my Miyoung. And I know there are a few others who feel the same way.”

Some of their boys left and never looked back. Actually, that was what most of them did. Some, like these two, stayed nearby but lived their own lives. Once the humans left, that was usually it. Sometimes their lives would briefly intersect again but never like this. To know they still cared for him was touching.

Jiho looked at the three men surrounding him and felt warmth. This was love. Pure, simple love that let him know he just might be able to keep Jaehyo by his side forever.


	10. just be there like you are now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's all support Block B and I love Ahn Jaehyo because he's seriously badass guys. He's taking on all the anti-fans. Give him your love and support (though I wouldn't mind some too because comments help motivate me).

The sun was starting to peek out over the edge of the world. It was a beautiful sight. Jaehyo loved to see it and it was one of the best parts of his day. At least that’s what he told himself. In all reality, it was too damn early. The only reason he was able to drag himself awake this early was for the fishing. It was the best at this entirely too early hour.

Who knew how many hours later and he was cursing life. One little fish, that was it. He’d barely get a meal out of it. This was becoming more of an issue with each passing day. He’d been fine in the spring and throughout the summer. Fall was almost over though. Jaehyo was dreading winter. He’d somehow managed to survive last winter but he had no idea how he’d done that.

Night fell sooner and sooner. The only good in that was Jiho. He showed up almost every night. They’d sit together, sometimes talking, sometimes not. A few times Jaehyo had even fallen asleep. Those were the few times he’d actually gotten some decent rest.

The thought of Jiho made him smile. He was the one genuinely nice and good thing in Jaehyo’s life. When he thought back to his first impression of Jiho, when he thought the guy was scary, it seemed so silly. Jiho was the furthest thing from scary.

Jaehyo was aware enough to realize that his feelings towards the man went beyond simple adoration. It was terrifying. When he’d left that household, he’d sworn off ever feeling this way about anyone. He’d never had someone who he felt this way about. Misery had been the only sort of emotions he’d felt when it came to these sort of feelings. Until now. Until Jiho.

“Are you okay?”

Speak of the devil.

Jaehyo looked up to see the guy standing over him. “I’m fine,” Jaehyo lied. “How was your day?”

Jiho sat next to him. “It was the same as any other.” He held out an apple. “Did you eat today?”

This might be the easiest part of being around Jiho. He intuitively understood. Jaehyo took the fruit. It was such a shiny red and looked perfectly plump. The fruit was firm in his hand and he could smell how sweet it was before he ever brought it up to his lips. Sweet, sticky juice ran down his chin. This apple was amazing and all he wanted was to devour it in as fast as he could. He needed it, needed more. Sheer will power stopped him. Jaehyo forced himself to savour it, to take his time with each bite.

“It’s just an apple.” Jiho laughed. “Are you getting enough food?”

Jaehyo sucked the juice from the little bit of apple flesh left on the core. He wanted to ignore the question. Jiho had to know just how difficult that question was for him to answer. “Winter’s almost here,” Jaehyo finally said when he knew he had to say something.

“Are you going to stay? Or will you do the smart thing and go south?” Jiho asked.

The smart thing. Going south would make it marginally less likely he’d freeze to death. But Jiho was here. Funny how someone he’d only met a few months ago had such a pull on him that Jaehyo was considering potentially freezing just to keep up with these meetings.

“I’m staying,” Jaehyo replied. “Let’s see if I can make it through another winter here.”

He didn’t look over at Jiho. He didn’t want to see the pity on his friend’s face. “There’s nothing but bad memories for me if I go back south,” Jaehyo added, trying to hide why he didn’t want to leave this city. His words weren’t wrong though. He’d vowed to never return to his hometown.

Jiho was quiet and after a few moments, the quiet between them settled comfortably around them like a blanket. Times like these were Jaehyo’s favorite. Trying, and failing, to fight a yawn, he decided to lay down. Jiho never let anything bad happen so for once Jaehyo wasn’t afraid to potentially fall asleep.

It was darker and colder now. Jaehyo knew some time had passed since he’d first laid down but he wasn’t sure just how much. Then he realized his head was warm. That there was something under his head.

Jiho’s lap. Somehow his head had ended up in Jiho’s lap. He wanted to be embarrassed but he also loved it. He’d wondered how it’d feel to do this.

It felt like love.

Then he felt the fingers gently stroking his hair. No one had done that since his mother. Tears formed, threatening to spill. They stung his eyes.

“You’re awake.” Was that disappointment in Jiho’s voice?

“Yeah.” Jaehyo didn’t move. He didn’t want to. If he could stay like this forever, he’d be happy. Jiho didn’t stop stroking his hair. More time passed. Jaehyo had no clue because in that moment, everything seemed to last forever.

“Will you stay with me for the winter?”

Jaehyo’s heart leapt from his chest at the question. The last time Jiho had asked, it’d been spring. He’d said he’d ask again but then hadn’t. Until now.

“Only for the winter?” Jaehyo asked. Because he’d stay longer if Jiho allowed him to.

“Is that okay? You wouldn’t have to stay any longer than you’d want to.”

Jaehyo’s heart melted when he realized what Jiho was trying to say. He was trying to give Jaehyo an easy way out, to not leave him feeling pressured. Jiho was trying to say that if Jaehyo left when the weather turned nice again, that Jiho wouldn’t be angry. That he’d understand.

“I’ll stay as long as you let me,” Jaehyo promised. He could admit to himself that he’d be willing to serve Jiho. The guy was the first one Jaehyo could trust, the one who had proved that people weren’t necessarily awful.

That Jaehyo could feel.

“Tomorrow? You could come see it then,” Jiho offered. “And move in when you’re ready.”

“I can do that.” He’d have time to prepare himself. To back out if he felt the urge. Jaehyo already knew that wouldn’t happen but it was kind of Jiho to give him that sort of option. Jaehyo laughed. “It’ll be weird to see you in the daylight.”

Jiho tensed. Jaehyo could feel it in the guy’s muscles under his head. “I don’t go in the daylight,” he said after a moment. “It...causes me a lot of pain.”

Weird. Jaehyo had never heard of something like that. “And that’s why you only come out at night?”

“That’s why.” Jiho smiled but it was forced. “I’d rather not be in agonizing pain. The place...the whole place is mostly underground.”

“Like a cellar?” Jaehyo sat up, his heart protesting it but his brain overruling the protests. Maybe this wasn’t such a great decision.

“You’ll see,” was Jiho’s answer. “And if you decide not to stay, I’ll understand.”

There was a sadness to Jiho that tugged at Jaehyo’s heart. Before he could think about it or stop himself, he was pulling the guy into a hug. “I’ll stay,” he promised. “I’ll stay as long as you let me. Just...you know.” Jaehyo didn’t want to say it. He couldn’t. He hoped Jiho would continue to respect the wall Jaehyo had built around himself.

A tentative arm reached around to pat Jaehyo on the back. “I will never do anything,” he replied, “not without your permission.”

Those few words told Jaehyo everything. He would die for this man.

\---

“He looks better.”

Kyung looked over at where Yukwon laid stretched out on the couch. Then he followed Yukwon’s gaze and spotted Zico in the studio. And then he took a closer look at the vampire. His cheeks were fuller. That was the first thing Kyung noticed. They had an almost healthy, human flush to them. Zico’s clothes seemed to fit him better too.

“He does.” The shock in Kyung’s voice came as a surprise to himself. Zico had always looked good but when had he started to look just that good?

Yukwon rolled over to look at Kyung. “That’s how he used to always look.”

If that was true, and Kyung had no reason to doubt it, he could understand why the others had been so worried. Now that he was seeing Zico in what was clearly his best state, no others would do. “Is it from Jaehyo-hyung’s blood?” Could one person really make that much of a difference?

“Hyung and the others,” Yukwon replied.

Others?

“What others?” Kyung hadn’t seen anyone else in the house. It was still the same big, empty place it had always been. At least, that had been Kyung’s experience so far. After meeting those two men at the chicken place, Kyung had begun to understand just how different things had used to be.

“Dongyul’s started helping out and he’s talked to a few of the others,” Yukwon answered, his tone suggesting that that was the most obvious thing in the world.

That was news to Kyung. He’d noticed Zico had been leaving more frequently but he hadn’t realized that was why. “What’s the difference between different people’s blood?” Kyung asked, closing his textbook. Why was Zico suddenly looking so much healthier now? Was it because he was feeding more? But he’d frequently left to feed from random people before.

Yukwon shrugged. “It’s hard to explain. Hyung understands better than me.”

“He isn’t here right now,” Kyung pointed out. And he didn’t feel like trying to track down the guy.

Yukwon shook his head. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

Somehow Kyung doubted that. His feelings must have been clear on his face because Yukwon sat up, sighing again. “The way I’ve had it explained to me is a quality sort of thing. Blood of older people is…” he shrugged. “Better? It’s got something in it that makes it better for feeding a vampire.”

Did Jaehyo’s blood make Zico drunk? That’d be an interesting thing to find out. He also found it intriguing that age changed the way blood tasted. He would never have guessed it.

Kyung also found himself wondering if this was why Jaehyo didn’t always seem quite human. Age changed a person. It had the ability to change even their blood apparently. If he let himself think about it, Kyung might be horrified at the thought.

“Is this why everyone was freaking out?” Kyung decided to ask even though he already knew the answer.

“Yeah. It’s also why Hyung’s been trying to find more people for this place.” Yukwon laid back down. “Also so we won’t die from blood loss.”

What.

That was the first time anyone had mentioned death as a potential outcome. Somehow, Kyung had never considered he could potentially die. The thought that he was a few steps closer to death than he’d originally thought he was was not a great feeling.

“Has anyone ever died from that?” Kyung was dying to know. Not literally. He didn’t think.

“Died from what?” Jaehyo’s voice asked. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, a bowl of something steaming in his hand. Yukwon spotted the bowl and sat up in interest.

“Giving too much blood,” Kyung answered. “Has that happened before?”

“Not with Zico,” Jaehyo answered, sitting next to Yukwon. The guy’s eyes lit up when Jaehyo handed him the bowl. “He’s got good control.” The older man looked at Kyung for a moment. “You hungry too?”

Kyung’s stomach growled, answering for him. Jaehyo smiled for some reason. “I’ll be right back,” he told them, getting up and heading back up the stairs. A few minutes later, Jaehyo reappeared with another steaming bowl.

“It’s just ramyeon,” Jaehyo said as he handed it to Kyung. “But I made a bunch.”

This was new. Kyung took the bowl, enjoying how it warmed his hands. In all the months he’d been here, he hadn’t had someone bring him food like this. There had been times they’d eaten in the same room but he’d never had someone just make him food like this.

“What are you working on?” Jaehyo gestured towards the textbook in front of Kyung.

“Homework. It’s a reading for one of my classes,” Kyung answered between bites.

The ramyeon wasn’t the greatest but it also wasn’t the worst. It was funny but this one little thing helped. Until now, Kyung had always felt a little like an outsider in this house. When Jaehyo arrived, that feeling had gotten worse. And this bowl of ramyeon made that same feeling go away.

“You’re in math, right?” Jaehyo stretched out, resting against Yukwon.

“Yeah, third year,” Kyung answered. “But this is for something different.” He’d picked up the class because it had sounded interesting. While it was a challenge, it was an enjoyable one.

“I’m kind of jealous you’re able to go to school,” Jaehyo admitted. Kyung looked at him in interest. That was not what he’d expected to hear Jaehyo say. He’d figured he’d be asked about his classes. Not that Kyung was complaining.

“You could go too,” Kyung replied. There were some tests that Jaehyo would have to pass but the guy seemed fairly intelligent. It shouldn’t be that hard, not with an unlimited amount of time to study and prepare for them.

Jaehyo shook his head, a sad expression on his handsome face. “There’s no record of me ever existing,” he explained. “At least, not currently. And the ones that do list me...let’s just say there have been a few occasions where I’ve played my own descendent.”

Kyung set the bowl down, absorbing that. The idea of living for so many years had sounded fascinating. It opened up the world to learning so much and being able to travel. The idea of reaching a point where he didn’t legally exist though was something he hadn’t thought of.

“It’s really annoying,” Yukwon agreed. “Any time I feel like working, I have to find someone willing to pay in cash and not ask questions.”

Jaehyo squeezed Yukwon’s knee. “I’m sorry,” he said, remorse filling his voice.

“It’s fine, Hyung.” Yukwon slurped the last of his ramyeon and set the bowl on the table. “I’d have died a long time ago without you and Zico taking me in.”

“How old are you?” Kyung had known Yukwon was older than he appeared but the guy hadn’t seemed that old. Apparently Kyung had been wrong.

Yukwon shrugged. “Old. Not as old as Hyung or Zico but old.”

Jaehyo seemed to be thinking about the question too. “You were about seven or eight when I found you…”

A child. Yukwon had been here since he was literally a child. It was hard not to stare. Forget wondering about how living forever affected someone. Kyung was curious to know how this environment would affect a child’s development. It was a shame he wasn’t in the psychology department. This house and those inside would make for some fascinating subjects to study.

“Probably.” Yukwon was staring at his hands. The more Kyung watched, the more he realized this wasn’t a subject Yukwon wanted to talk about. That seemed to be a common thing with the residents here. Jaehyo’s past, the little he’d shared, hadn't sounded great. Yukwon’s couldn’t be any better if he’d come here as a child. Jihoon...there was something there but Kyung didn’t know what.

Were Minho and himself the only ones without some sort of unknown horror in their pasts? The implications of that were mind-boggling. Did Zico have a type? He must and it had to mean that Kyung himself fit somehow.

How the hell did he qualify as a hidden tragedy? Maybe he was overthinking this. Yeah. That had to be it. After all, the only parts of Kyung’s life that were less than great were his parents not being the most enthusiastic about him being involved in music. Well, okay, there was the whole him being attracted to guys thing too but his family didn’t know about that.

He could admit to himself that he was scared to know what they would think if they knew. That was part of his decision to move out. Also, it was nice to have some freedom. He loved his family dearly but the independence he had now was addicting in its own way.

“You okay?” Jaehyo’s eyes were large with concern as he looked at Kyung.

“I think we broke him,” Yukwon answered, trying and failing at not laughing.

“It’s...just a lot to take in.” Kyung’s voice sounded off even to his own ears. He’d never guessed any of this when he first came to this house a few months ago.

The world was spinning around him. He felt nauseous and that ramyeon was threatening to come back up. Yukwon was saying something but for some reason, Kyung found his ears not wanting to work. There was this weird ringing that was getting louder and louder.

Big eyes filled his vision. Cool hands were pushing him back. Kyung let them. He was laying down now, Jaehyo hovering over him. Someone asked something but Kyung’s ears still refused to work. It was frustrating. Why was he like this? There was no reasonable explanation for this. He felt so silly right now but it was hard to move, to do anything.

“Shock.” That one word cut through the ringing, clear even though everything else wasn’t. The light in the room was blinding Kyung. Stars were dancing across his vision.

He closed his eyes, wanting to make the dancing stars go away.

The room was dark when Kyung opened his eyes. It was quiet now. Even the ringing in his ears was gone. Sitting up, Kyung found that he was alone now. A blanket had been tucked around him at some point. He didn’t recognize it.

The studio was dark. It made the whole room seem creepier now. The whole no lights on and multiple closed doors helped give the place a haunted house vibe. There was one door open though. Peeking in, Kyung saw a head of blond hair from underneath a blanket. Yukwon. The other bed was empty but it had a blanket on it so that’s not where Kyung’s blanket came from.

As Kyung wandered up the stairs, he saw daylight. How long had he been out? And the fact that he’d ended up passing out...how embarrassing was that?

Jaehyo was in the kitchen.

“You woke up.” The guy had a sympathetic smile on his face. “Feeling better now?”

“Better than before,” Kyung admitted. “I’m not sure what happened.” But he never wanted it to happen again.

“Shock,” Jaehyo replied. He’d said that before too when Kyung had been feeling off. “I’ve seen it happen before.”

That...did not help Kyung feel any better.

“This,” Jaehyo continued on, waving a hand to indicate the house all around them, “it’s a lot to take in. Some take it better than others but they’re exceptions, not the standard.”

Jaehyo shook his head. “Yeah,” he continued on, “Yukwon probably adjusted the best. Better than me, that’s for sure.”

“What’d you do?” Kyung sat at the bar. So far he hadn’t really heard about anyone’s past. No one in this house liked to talk. And of all the stories, he was most curious about Jaehyo’s. Well, Jaehyo’s and Zico’s. The two had an air of untouchable around them.

“I...I freaked out and left for a few days.” Jaehyo looked at his hands, shame rolling off him.

“But you didn’t stay away.” Obviously that was an ongoing issue with the guy. He left and came back. He didn’t seem able to stay away.

“I was hungry. And cold,” Jaehyo replied. “I was weak. I knew he had a place for me so I ended up going back.” He sighed. It was a heavy one that betrayed him. Kyung felt its weight settle on his own shoulders.

“The strong ones are the ones who can walk away.”

Kyung had heard Jaehyo express that thought before but he finally felt like he might be understanding what it meant.


	11. your tangled hair, your sleepy voice

Jaehyo spotted the blanket still on the couch. He sighed to himself as he picked it up and took it back into the room he’d gotten it from. It should probably be washed but he was too lazy to do that. Besides, it’s not like they were short on beds. Too many of the rooms were empty. There were eleven beds, twelve if he counted his own and thirteen if he counted Jiho’s. Only four, five, of those beds were filled.

Would they ever find enough people for them? It wasn’t like the old days. Society was different now. People couldn’t just vanish, to disappear and reappear as they wished. They had Yukwon who was in the same boat as Jaehyo. Too old to reappear in the normal world without questions. Jihoon was there too but they’d gotten him young. He couldn’t have been more than fifteen when he’d come to them. Minho...to be honest, Jaehyo wasn’t sure what his story was yet. And Kyung. They’d probably end up getting more people like him.

Kyung was their future.

The bed was cool. Then again, that’s what Jiho’s bed was always like. The vampire didn’t have any heat of life so he couldn’t warm the bed.

Jaehyo was asleep before he even closed his eyes.

Cool limbs were draped over him. Jiho was nuzzling his neck. It was hard to fight the wave of arousal that wanted to roll over him. It wasn’t fair. Jiho knew all his weak points.

“You keep sleeping in,” Jiho murmured in his ear. “I love it.”

“You like me for my warmth.” Jaehyo made no move to push the vampire away. He had his weak points for a reason.

“The warmth is nice,” Jiho replied. His voice was deep and sleepy and it filled Jaehyo every time the guy spoke. “Maybe we should get a bed warmer.”

A bed warmer? “Why a bed warmer?” They’d never needed one before. Jiho had always been content to leech the warmth from him. “Am I not warm enough?”

Jiho shook his head. His hair tickled, attacking Jaehyo’s face. Soft, yummy smelling hair. “You’re fine for now but you won’t always be.”

Won’t always be. What in the world was that supposed to mean? “You’re not making sense Jiho.”

“Not yet,” the vampire said. There was an air of promise in his words. A fluttering, nervous feeling moved into Jaehyo’s stomach. Could Jiho…? No. No, there was no way. Jiho had spent too many years making it clear. He would not turn Jaehyo into a vampire. There had to be some other meaning behind Jiho’s words.

But the idea that maybe, just maybe, Jiho had changed his mind was electric. He had all this nervous, pulsing energy coursing through him. It was a good thing he was laying down because there was no way he’d be able to stand right now.

“What are you thinking?” Jaehyo asked.

“Not yet,” Jiho repeated. He leaned over to kiss Jaehyo. Those soft, plump lips of his felt wonderful. Jiho’s lips were delicious sin. Pure, delicious, unreal sin.

Hands ran through his hair. He’d probably look like he’d stuck his finger in an electric socket by the time Jiho was done. It was hard to care. “You’re trying to distract me,” Jaehyo said. Between nerves and Jiho, it was hard to keep his head straight. To keep his thoughts in order.

“Not yet,” Jiho repeated again.

This was strange. They weren’t big on keeping secrets from each other. Their last secret had been Jaehyo’s, that he was leaving. Jiho’s last secret had been what he was. Secrets just were not a thing between them. Too much work. Too much effort.

That only made the fluttering, electric feeling in his bones grow in intensity. He didn’t know if he wanted to puke or run a marathon.

He did neither of those things.

Tugging at Jiho’s shirt, Jaehyo felt physical relief when he felt bare skin. His own shirt was quickly thrown to the side. Lips worked their way down his chest. Jiho was too damn good at this.

“Are you ever going to tell me?” Jaehyo asked, hoping he might still get an answer.

“Not now,” the vampire replied, again keeping that secret frustratingly hidden. His tongue returned its attention to making swirling patterns all across Jaehyo’s abdomen. It should have tickled but it didn’t. Instead, it felt like his skin was being branded with ice.

“You’re an ass.” Jaehyo bit back a moan. He wanted to know and it was driving him crazy. Jiho was driving him crazy.

The vampire kept moving lower and lower until he was hovering over Jaehyo’s crotch. And then he bent his head down. Cold heat and saliva soaked through the thin pajama bottoms Jaehyo wore. He couldn’t help himself. He dug his fingers into Jiho’s soft hair. 

A growl from the vampire reminded him that that might not be the smartest idea. Jiho had some rather sharp teeth and he was rather close to Jaehyo’s dick. He couldn’t help it though. Jiho was an addiction that he just couldn’t quit.

He barely noticed when his pants were pushed away. From the feel of it, Jiho’s were gone too. Then he looked.

Dark, mysterious eyes full of shifting stars connected with Jaehyo’s. Full, plump lips surrounded his cock. Hollowed cheeks. Sweat beading along the vampire’s brow. It was one of the hottest things he’d even seen.

Laying in bed, Jaehyo didn’t want to move. His limbs were heavy, a joyful exhaustion weighing them down. Jiho was on top of him, a cool fleshy blanket. He was awake though. The breathing gave it away. He didn’t require breathing but it was apparently a hard habit to break.

“Are you ever going to tell me your secret?” Jaehyo had to ask. He couldn’t get rid of that nervous feeling, even now.

“It’ll ruin it if I tell you now,” the vampire replied. Sleep tinged his voice. The moon should be well up by now though so the sleepiness felt out of place.

“Are you eating enough?” Could the sleepiness be from lack of food?

“We need more people.” Jiho was nuzzling his neck again. “Better people too.” What in the world did that mean? Jaehyo bit his lip, trying to figure out those words. They did need people but what was that ‘better people’ part about?

Resting his hand on the small of Jiho’s back, Jaehyo had to ask. “Better people?”

Jiho nodded. “Ones who can feed you properly.”

Jaehyo’s lungs stopped working. He couldn’t breathe. There was no mistaking what that mean. Having forever dangled right there, just outside his grasp but so close made the electric buzzing in his blood grow stronger. All he ever wanted was this man forever and that’s exactly what it sounded like Jiho was offering him.

“When are you going to tell me?” Jaehyo was curious to know just how long Jiho was planning to keep this a secret.

“When I have everything ready.” Jiho laid a sloppy, sleepy kiss on his lips. The sweetness of it made Jaehyo smile. All he wanted was this and he could easily stay in this moment forever.

And then Jiho froze. His eyes were wide in a mixture of ‘oh crap’ and horror. Jaehyo laughed. It was adorable. He didn’t think it possible but he realized he loved this man even more.

“You know.” Jiho groaned. “You figured it out.”

Jaehyo nodded. Jiho groaned again, hiding his face in Jaehyo’s shoulder. “Why did you change your mind?” After all, Jaehyo had been asking for this for years.

“Taeha. When I saw him...I didn’t want to see you turn into him.” Jiho pressed another sloppy kiss on him, this time on his shoulder. “A year without you was hell.”

A warmth spread throughout all of Jaehyo, replacing the nervous energy that had been buzzing through him before. He’d dreamed of hearing something like that. Could things actually be going how he wanted? After all these years...the thought was terrifying.

“Does it hurt?” Jaehyo had no idea what went into making someone a vampire. That was one of the few things Jiho had never shared. “How does it happen?”

“You’ll be fine.” Jiho’s voice was reassuring. Comforting. “It will go fine.” He placed another kiss on Jaehyo. “It’ll hurt for a moment but then there will be nothing.”

Okay. Okay that didn’t sound so bad.

“You’ll be lost in your own mind until one night when you wake up.” That wasn’t quite as reassuring.

“What do you mean?” Jaehyo shifted, putting them face to face.

Jiho sighed. “There’s...there’s a period of...madness? Yeah, madness is probably the best word for it.” He kissed Jaehyo again. “It’s part of the reason why I’ve never wanted to do it. The madness...it’s never the same for any two people.”

The thought that he’d lose his mind was not comforting. And there wasn’t a set amount of time it’d last either from the sound of it. What would happen to everyone else during that time?

“What will happen to everyone?” He had to know.

Jiho smiled. “We’ll keep it together. You can trust it to me. Me and Yukwon.”

Except Jaehyo had tried that before and he’d found a royal mess upon his return. He couldn’t exactly claim to be confident in the two of them. And there were even less humans now. For two vampires. He groaned. How would they survive? It’d kill them all, human and vampire.

“The old guys, the retired one, are a big help. I wish we had a house full of them.” Jiho’s voice took on a wistful tone. “That would be perfect.”

Jaehyo bit back what he wanted to say. It would only hurt Jiho. They’d had a house like that before. One that was full of humans with rich, mature blood. But Jiho hadn’t been willing to turn him then. Hadn’t been willing to risk him. In a way, it was sweet. Jiho thought he was too important to lose to madness.

“It’s going to be a long time before we have a house like that again.” Jaehyo couldn’t help the sadness that had crept into his voice. He very well might be an old man, physically, by then. And while he wanted Jiho, that’s not how Jaehyo wanted to stay for eternity.

“I won’t be able to wait that long.” Jiho stared at him with such an intensity that Jaehyo forgot to breathe. “It might be selfish of me but I want this version of you.”

Soon then. But how soon?

“There are a few modifications we’ll need to make first.” Jiho smiled but it wasn’t happy. “The madness...it’s not pretty.”

“You speak as if you’ve seen someone go through it.” Jaehyo brushed hair off of the vampire’s face. “Have you?” He knew so little of what had led Jiho to this life. He’d heard stories of Jiho’s childhood but the guy had never explained how he’d lost his life. He’d never pushed to know though since Jiho had never pushed to know about Jaehyo’s teen years. It felt like a fair exchange.

Jiho gave a sharp nod. An obvious and still raw pain boiled in his eyes. “When I was turned into this, I wasn’t the only one.” Pain filled his voice. On instinct, Jaehyo pull this man, his love, closer.

That tone, that pain, told Jaehyo exactly who it was. He’d only ever seen that much pain when Jiho had spoken about one person. “What happened to Jiseok?”

By the quiet, hard grip Jiho held him in, Jaehyo knew he was right. He just wished he’d been wrong. They laid there in silence for what felt like forever. Time was a hard concept to keep track of in this room.

“He never returned.”

Jiho’s voice was so small and broken. Jaehyo had never heard anything like it before from the man. “He stayed lost until I put him out of his misery. His madness.”

He didn’t know what to say. What could he say to that? And Jiho...whenever he spoke of his childhood, it was clear he’d idolized his older brother. They’d done everything together. Best friends and brothers, always together and ready to take on the world.

The reluctance Jiho had always had made so much more sense. Jaehyo kept holding him. He didn’t know what to say but he knew he didn’t want Jiho to suffer like this again.

“Jiho, how long was he lost?” Jaehyo mustered the courage to ask. He needed to know what the worst case scenario was. “Please,” he added, kissing his Jiho on the forehead.

Jiho didn’t answer, not at first. He kept his face hidden but that was okay. Jaehyo understood the feeling.

“Eight years.”

For a moment, Jaehyo thought he’d heard wrong. But then he realized just what Jiho had said. Eight years. He’d watched his brother stay lost in his own mind for eight years.

“How long were you like that?” Jaehyo needed to know. He needed some frame of reference because eight years of madness was terrifying.

Jiho shifted a little. His eyes were red and all it made Jaehyo want to do was protect him. He couldn’t do eight years of madness. He wouldn’t do that to Jiho.

“Four months. I lost four months to it,” the vampire replied. Which definitely gave some perspective. A few months, he could handle that. Jiho could handle it. But not years of it.

A year. He knew as soon as he thought it that a year would be his limit. Jaehyo had plenty of years behind him but he didn’t want to waste the rest of them as some sort of mad creature. He kept this to himself though. He wouldn’t tell Jiho this, at least, not right now.

\---

“Are you free?” Kyung wished he could still his beating heart. He didn’t know why his heart was still going so crazy. He just couldn’t get that conversation with Jaehyo out of his head. The strong were able to leave and the weak stayed behind. He could die by being in this house. He could live forever, could see his family grown old and die without him.

The man on the other end groaned. “Kyung?” Minhyuk’s voice asked, still obviously mostly asleep. “Do you know what time it is?”

Too early. Kyung knew this. But he needed someone. And the only person that came to mind was Minhyuk. He didn’t know what he’d say to the guy because it wasn’t like he could tell Minhyuk anything. But at the same time, Kyung just did not want to be alone right now.

“I know.” Kyung sighed heavily. “I just…” How did he even begin to explain this?

“Everything okay?” Worry tinged Minhyuk’s voice. There was the sound of rustling from the other end. The guy was probably still in bed.

“Just…” Kyung laughed, the confused bitterness he was feeling clear in it. “I don’t know.”

Somehow he found himself at a cafe, two drinks and a pastry sitting on the table in front of him. He tried to hide his nerves by sipping the coffee but so far it didn’t seem to be working. It was a relief when he spotted Minhyuk.

It was unfair how good his hyung looked. Kyung felt like a miserable toad (lack of sleep did that) and Minhyuk looked ready for a photoshoot. The guy had just woken up too. NOT. FAIR.

“Did you even sleep?” Minhyuk asked when he sat down. “You look awful.”

“Not really,” Kyung admitted. Pushing the pastry and a drink over, he could admit he was glad to see a familiar face. “I had a lot on my mind last night.”

“Like what?” Minhyuk drank a little from the cup Kyung had pushed over.

“It’s that guy.” Kyung hated himself. How messed up and crazy he felt. “Him and his…” Who even knew what the hell Jaehyo was.

“The ex that’s not an ex?” Minhyuk supplied.

Kyung nodded. “Yeah. Things have gotten...I don’t even know,” he said with a sigh. Running a hand through his hair, he shook his head. “The ex that’s not an ex is actually a really nice guy.” That was the hardest part. He wanted to dislike Jaehyo but he just couldn’t.

“So why hang around them?”

It was a good question. There was no real reason for Kyung to stay. He could live anywhere else (though he had to admit the whole free room part was really nice). He wasn’t particularly close to anyone else, not like they were with each other. The only one he’d thought he’d connected with was Zico but it was becoming clearer by the day that they were only connected musically.

“It’s better than living at home.”

He was surprised by his own answer. His home really wasn’t that bad. He loved his family. But then, his parents kept asking when he’d stop playing with music and dedicate himself to his studies. He was afraid to tell them about his attraction to guys. And the freedom he had was really nice…

Minhyuk smiled. “I get that.” He took another sip and waited for Kyung to keep talking. This was why Kyung liked hanging out with the guy. He had this quiet calm about him that put Kyung at ease. There was no need to worry or feel like he always had to be at his absolute best.

Kyung took a drink from his own cup. “There’s more but you’d think I was crazy if I mentioned any of it.” Which made this all the harder to deal with.

Minhyuk laughed. “Don’t tell me you fell for the ex that’s not an ex too.”

The idea of dating Jaehyo made Kyung recoil in horror. Jaehyo was nice and good looking but he was definitely not Kyung’s type. It’d be like trying to date Chan. He shuddered again in disgust. Somehow in a very short amount of time, he’d already started to think of Jaehyo as family.

Minhyuk was laughing. There must have been an amusing expression on Kyung’s face because the guy would just not stop. “That’s a no then,” Minhyuk gasped out between laughs. “The look on your face is great.”

“Please tell me it’s pure horror because that’s exactly what it should be,” Kyung told the guy. Minhyuk nodded, still apparently having trouble with the whole breathing thing.

Finally, the guy managed to get himself under control. It was an honest relief. People were starting to stare at them.

“You know, you’re all hung up on this guy but have you ever thought of dating someone else?” Minhyuk asked as he tore off a bit of the pastry. “You never mention even being interested in someone else.”

It was a good question and one Kyung didn’t have an answer for. “He’s the first guy who I’ve ever felt really strongly about,” Kyung admitted. He’d had little crushes before but Zico had been the first he’d been able to picture himself with.

Minhyuk held out a bite of the pastry. “First doesn’t mean he’s the only one. There’s plenty of others out there.”

True. But Kyung just...they weren’t Zico and his heart really wanted Zico. The guy made him happy in a way no one else had.

“I know,” Kyung said, the words weighing him down. “It’s just...it’s hard.”

Minhyuk nodded sympathetically. “Tell me about it. I’ve got my eye on this really amazing guy but he doesn’t even seem to notice me.”

Kyung sat up, interested in knowing more. “Oh? What’s he like?” Minhyuk didn’t usually offer much information about himself. He wasn’t secretive but rather, just had this habit of letting others take over and talk. This was a rare treat.

Minhyuk’s eyes went soft. He smiled, his dimple popping in and giving him a cute face that was unlike the normally cool, suave version of Minhyuk Kyung was used to. It made him wonder just who this stranger was. Whoever he was, Minhyuk must really like the guy. Lucky bastard.

“He’s nice with a kind heart. If he likes you, it’s with his whole being. He’s smart too. The smartest person I know...at least until it comes to people. He wants to see the best in people so it can leave him a little blind. He’s cute. Not little kid cute but the kind of cute that’s from the heart. He’s handsome too. He doesn’t always think it but he is. It hits me most when he’s not paying attention, just...I look over and see him and he’s just there. He’s in his own world and then he smiles and it’s like the sun just hits me full force. When I’m with him, I never want it to end.”

Damn. Whoever his hyung liked was a lucky guy. Kyung could only wish someone loved him half as much. That sort of love where their partner couldn’t stop gushing about them, the kind of love that lasted decades if not centuries. The kind of love where no one else in the world even existed, let alone mattered. That was the love Kyung wanted. He’d do anything to have someone love him like that. To have Zico love him like that.

“Why haven’t you told him how you feel?” Kyung asked after taking a drink. He’d needed something because those words had left his throat dry and his heart mourning the fact that he’d never love that way.

Minhyuk smiled but there was sadness behind it. “I keep hoping he’ll just notice me on his own but he’s too hung up on someone else.”

Ouch. Kyung winced in sympathy. “That sucks.”

“It really does.” Minhyuk broke what was left of the pastry in half and handed one of the pieces to Kyung. “He doesn’t realize how much I like him because he’s too busy getting his heart broken by someone I don’t even know.”

“Have you thought about just asking him out anyways?” Because his hyung deserved to be happy. The guy was too good to not have a happy life.

“We’ve done things as friends but no, I’ve never actually asked him on a date,” Minhyuk admitted. “It’s just never seemed right.”

“Do it anyways,” Kyung urged. One of them might as well be happy. “Maybe getting asked will make him notice you.”

Minhyuk went quiet for a moment as if he were thinking about Kyung’s words, like he was taking them to heart. He must have come to some sort of internal decision because he gave a little nod.

Kyung felt his heart stutter when Minhyuk looked up at him. The man’s expression was determined, eyes practically glowing from some sort of internal fire that scorched Kyung. His hair framed his already handsome face in such a way that it only made him look even more handsome. His posture oozed a sensuality that Kyung was not used to. Now he understood why his hyung had a small fanclub on campus.

“How about it then? Shall we go on a date?”

What.

Of all the things Kyung had expected to hear today, that was not one of them.

“Me?” He squeaked out, not quite sure how to speak.

Minhyuk nodded. Then frowned. “I thought you’d figured it out…” his voice trailed off and he groaned. Covering his face, he added, “crap. I should have kept my mouth shut.”

His hyung liked him. Hell, loved him if that earlier speech was any indication. It was a lot to take in. He liked Minhyuk, yes. The guy always had a way of making Kyung feel better. He was more than good looking. Too good looking. But he’d just never thought of the guy in a romantic way.

But Zico was never going to love Kyung the way he longed to be loved.

“Yeah.” That one word sent a horde of fluttering butterflies loose in Kyung’s stomach. “Yeah, we can go on one.”

The relieved, ecstatic smile on Minhyuk’s face didn’t help. This all felt too unreal. Too fast. But Kyung couldn’t help but love that smile on his hyung’s face. He wanted to keep it there.


	12. shine your light on me baby

Jihoon was up early. That was the first thing that ran through Kyung’s head when he got back.

“You okay?” The younger man asked as he muted the tv. Kyung shrugged and sat on the couch. “Or are you still out of it because of last night?”

Holy crap. Last night felt like forever ago. Kyung laughed. He was losing his mind after the last twenty-four hours. That was the only explanation here.

“It’s been a weird morning,” he answered. That was one way to put it.

Jihoon nodded. “Yeah. I remember freaking out when they told me all that. I didn’t want to believe them.”

It was easy to forget that Jihoon was a year younger but that he’d been here longer. The guy just seemed to breeze in and out, part of the background but off on his own at the same time.”It’s a lot.” And Minhyuk had only made things crazier. What in the world was he going to do about that. They’d agreed to go on a date to a museum that Minhyuk had suggested but it was still just...why did his hyung like him? Kyung couldn’t think there was anything amazing about himself.

“It’s…” Kyung sighed. “This has been a weird morning,” he repeated. He couldn’t keep all this to himself. It was eating at him. Jihoon was probably one of the few people in his life who could possibly understand. “First all that with the hyungs and then this morning. I had a hyung from school ask me out.”

Jihoon grinned and in that instant, Kyung felt pure regret. Had he lost his sanity in letting that tidbit slipped? “He’s a friend. We’re going to this art museum he likes. That’s it.” Please don’t let this become a thing.

“You must like him,” Jihoon sang in that teasing, playful tone of his. It made Kyung’s skin crawl because he knew he was absolutely screwed.

“He’s a friend. Just like Minho’s your friend,” Kyung tried to protest. He knew he’d lost already but he didn’t have to make things easy for Jihoon either.

“Nah,” Jihoon said, shaking his head. “I’d never go on a date with that guy. His farts smell like cat claw.”

The seriousness behind Jihoon’s words is what did it for Kyung. He lost it. “What…” he couldn’t even breathe. What in the world was that even supposed to mean?

“He okay?” Minho asked, emerging from the room the guy shared with Jihoon. He was only in a towel and for some reason, that just made Kyung laugh harder. He couldn’t stop. He felt like he’d pee himself any moment but the sight and Jihoon’s words were just too much for Kyung. He could feel tears streaming down his face but Kyung didn’t bother wiping them away. There was no point.

Jihoon shrugged and un-muted the tv, turning the volume up to drown out Kyung. Minho look at them again and shook his head before disappearing into the bathroom.

Managing to get himself under control, Kyung had to ask. “How in the world do you know what a cat’s claw smells like?”

Jihoon paused the movie he’d put on. “It’s just what his farts smell like,” the guy answered. “But yeah, no way would I date him.” Jihoon stretched, his long limbs suddenly taking up all the space in the room. “He’s my brother.”

Wait. Kyung stared. “I thought you said you were an only child.”

“Technically,” Jihoon replied. “But we grew up together and he’s the brother I never had but still got.” Jihoon laughed. “He’s the only one who I might have gone back for.”

No one in this house brought up their pasts. They all seemed to permanently live in the moment. Which was fine except Kyung was dying to know why they were here.

“Go back for?” Kyung repeated, trying to not let his curiosity show.

Jihoon hesitated but then nodded. “I ran away from home a few years ago when I was still in high school.”

There were a number of reasons why someone might run away. Kyung didn’t want to jump to any conclusions but it was hard to restrain himself. “I just couldn’t stay there,” Jihoon went on. “My parents are good people. They loved me and always supported me in everything.”

Must be nice.

“So why run away?” Kyung didn’t even bother trying to hide his confusion.

Jihoon shifted, pulling his knees to his chest. “Mom got sick. Real sick.” And as a young, rash child, Jihoon ran away. Kyung could kind of understand the logic of a teenager.

“At first, it wasn’t too bad. My dad and I managed to make things work.” Jihoon hugged his legs. “Then she died.”

Kyung should have expected that. It was still a punch to the gut. He didn’t know what to say. So Kyung moved until he was sitting next to the guy and wrapped an arm around the guy. Even though he didn’t look like it, Jihoon was still younger than him. It was all Kyung could think to do.

Jihoon stayed like that, not moving. He seemed to be fighting some sort of internal battle. Reaching over, Kyung unpaused the movie Jihoon had put on earlier. After a bit, Minho emerged from the bathroom. The look on his face made it clear that he’d heard every word and that he was not amused.

Kyung didn’t even bother trying to be surprised when Minho came into his room after Jihoon passed out on the couch. Without asking, Minho strode in and sat on Kyung’s bed without even asking.

“He just started telling me that stuff.” Kyung felt the urge to defend himself and he didn’t even know why. There was just something about Minho’s expression that scared him. He looked so serious and deadly in that moment.

“I know.” Minho glanced towards where Jihoon was sleeping. “But it’s not a good topic for him. I’m not supposed to tell people this but everyone else here already knows.”

Joy. Just thrust that giant dagger in a little deeper.

“Jihoon and Auntie were close. When she died, it was like everything holding his family together fell apart.” Minho leaned back, resting against the wall. “Him coming here was the best thing that could have happened to him. Uncle’s withdrawn into himself and Jihoon…” Minho shook his head, the scary expression finally melting into a sad one. “His heart’s too big. I don’t know if he could have handled watching that happen to Uncle.”

Kyung nodded. “He’s a good guy.” Too good. Annoying at times but still good. “I’ll remember this. But if he starts tell me things, you can’t hold me responsible.” After all, Kyung had no control over any others.

“I wouldn’t. I just worry about him.” Minho shook his head and smiled. “I came here to to keep an eye on him.” There was love in his words but it was clear that it was a brother’s love. After seeing Jihoon and how he’d reacted to just opening up a little, Kyung was glad.

“Which is why you two are always getting drunk?”

Minho’s look turned mischievous. “Nah, that’s just fun.” Of course it was. The two were going to drink themselves into an early grave but it wasn’t Kyung’s place to speak so he kept that thought to himself.

“I just don’t get why he ran away,” Minho added. “He won’t tell me that.”

Kyung couldn’t give MInho an answer to that either. He could guess but that was it. But there was one thing he could do. “If he ever tells me, I’ll tell you,” Kyung promised.

\---

The bags were heavy. He hated market days but they’d needed too much for a simple trip. He should have brought a few of the guys with him but no, Jaehyo had just had to let them sleep. He was too nice. Especially since he could barely keep his own eyes open.

He was almost home though so that was good. And then he spotted the kid.

Small. The kid was positively tiny. Dirt was caked into his skin. Dark, wild hair formed a matted mess on his head. He looked up and Jaehyo knew. This had to be how Jiho had felt all those years ago. There was a fire in this child that shone in those dark eyes. He couldn’t tell if this kid was a boy or a girl. There was a cuteness that could go either way, even with the fierce fire in that child’s eyes. It didn’t matter either way.

Well, Jaehyo had been wishing he had a help carrying stuff home.

“Hey,” he said, walking over to the kid. “I’ll feed you if you help me carry this stuff.”

The kid’s eyes narrowed. No doubt this kid wasn’t the most trusting. Smart. That was the only way to survive on the streets. Jaehyo smiled. “One meal, that’s it. You can leave if you want but I could use the help carrying this stuff home,” he told the kid. He held out one of the bags. “I’ve been in your shoes before and I know how much a meal would have helped.” He just couldn’t let this kid go without trying something, anything, first.

The kid stared at him. “One meal? For carrying the bag?” A boy. The kid was a boy. His voice gave him away. “That’s it?”

Jaehyo nodded. “It’s a few minutes away. That’s it.”

The kid thought about it for a few moments before taking the bag. He followed behind, keeping up with Jaehyo with an apparent ease. When they reached the house, the kid stared for a few moments before following Jaehyo inside.

“You rich?” The boy asked, staring at everything.

“Not me,” Jaehyo answered. “The owner of this house has some money though.” It was easier to explain it that way. He didn’t even want to touched the whole vampire thing. If the kid stayed, they’d have to but that was definitely something to think about later. “I’m just the head servant here.”

The kid nodded. “You got a name, Mister?” He asked, standing in one spot and watching Jaehyo move around.

“Jaehyo,” he answered. “What about you?”

The kid went quiet. No surprises there. After what felt like forever, he finally said, “Yukwon.”

“Well, Yukwon, here you go.” Jaehyo handed the boy a bowl of soup. It’d been simmering for hours and no one would notice that he’d taken a bowl of it. “It’s not much but it’s something.”

The boy scarfed down the soup. He looked around, obviously wanting more. Jaehyo chuckled and took the bowl, refilling it. “There’s plenty,” he told the kid. He didn’t want to let this kid leave. He was so skinny. So little.

Yukwon finished the second bowl. He looked around, taking in the room. His eyes were wide, a mix of disbelief and wonder on his face. He was cute. Jaehyo hated himself for it but he didn’t want to let this kid go. He wanted to protect this kid like he’d wished someone had done for him. This child was too small to be on the streets.

“You can stay if you’d like,” Jaehyo offered. “There’s always room for another servant.” Jiho was going to kill him. While they’d brought in young guys before, they’d never had an actual child before. And how the hell would they handle telling a child about this whole situation. It was completely unavoidable.

Yukwon stared. He looked so young and innocent in that moment. “I’m just a kid,” he said, trying to argue. “I can’t do anything.”

Jaehyo smiled. “Believe me, there’s plenty you can do around here,” he replied. He had no idea what Yukwon could do. They’d never had a child before. And where the hell would they put the kid?

Jaehyo fought a yawn and failed. “Sorry,” he apologized. “The master does everything at night so we tend to sleep during the day.” There was only one possible free bed. His own. His own that he really wanted to crawl into and sleep in. He just wanted to sleep.

“Would I get food like this everyday?” Yukwon asked. It was cute but Jaehyo understood the boy’s motivation. Food was a powerful drug. And this kid was so tiny.

He yawned again. It was getting harder and harder to keep his eyes open. “Bath or bed?” He asked. “You’ll need both if you’re going to stay here.”

The kid’s eyes lit up. “A bath?” He repeated. “With warm water?”

“Yeah, it’s got warm water.” Jaehyo knew how magical a bath had felt the first time after he’d come off the streets. He took the bowl, setting it to be washed later. Everything ached but he headed towards the bath. It wasn’t anything fancy but it had warm water and soap.

“I’ll try to find you some clothes,” he told Yukwon. “I’ll set whatever I find right here.” Jaehyo gestured towards the table just inside the door of the bath. Remembering his own past, Jaehyo knew how much he’d hated having others around when he bathed. How awful the feeling of someone else’s hands on his skin had felt.

Yukwon gave a little nod. He looked even smaller in this room. The sight made Jaehyo want to protect the kid even more. Trying to find some clothes however was next to impossible. Everything was too big. This house just didn’t see children in it. He wished he had a little time so he could run over to the market again. He wasn’t sure how long Yukwon would take to himself himself though. And even though the kid seemed okay with staying, Jaehyo was afraid that Yukwon would run away if Jaehyo weren’t around.

He managed to find a shirt that would drown the child. Pants were a lost cause. They’d have to wait for another time when he was able to go to the market. He was crazy for doing this.

Yukwon was still in the tub when Jaehyo returned. His face looked cleaner and his hair was visibly lighter. His hair was apparently brown, not black like Jaehyo had thought it was. His little face had a sweet smile on it. He looked positively angelic.

How did such a young child end up on the streets? He had obviously been there for some time by the change in his skin tone. How young was he anyways? A baby. That’s what this boy looked like. Jaehyo knew he shouldn’t judge but he couldn’t help it.

Jaehyo coughed, not wanting to intrude on Yukwon’s bath but feeling the need to announce himself. “I couldn’t find any pants but there’s a shirt you can sleep in,” he said. Setting the shirt down, Jaehyo stepped back out of the room. Jiho was going to kill him. He wished it were night right now. He wanted to see his vampire, to let Jiho tell him how good an idea this was. Jiho would make him not feel like he was losing his mind.

“Mister?” Yukwon’s little voice called out from the other side of the door.

“I’m out here,” Jaehyo replied, fighting another yawn. He needed sleep so badly. “I can show you where you can sleep.”

The door opened, revealing Yukwon being swallowed by the shirt. The sight was absolutely adorable. If Jaehyo’s heart hadn’t melted already because of this child, that would have done it. “Sorry it’s so big,” Jaehyo said, referring to the shirt. “We’ve never had someone quite so young here.”

Yukwon nodded. “It’s okay,” he replied, his own voice quiet and sleepy. “I like it.”

This kid was too cute. Jaehyo knew he was not going to survive this boy. “You do?”

The boy nodded again. “It’s soft and warm.” Yukwon yawned. Jaehyo fought the urge to hug Yukwon. Instead, he led the boy towards the stairs.

“There’s an open bed but it’s down a couple of floors,” Jaehyo apologized. “But it’s one of the best beds in the house.” The only one better was Jiho’s. There were some definite perks to sleeping with the master. A small hand slipped into Jaehyo’s. He had to fight the urge not to hug this kid.

Also, how young was Yukwon? He’d initially been so wary but now he was being so trusting. And how long had he been on the streets? Lifelong street kids were not this trusting. They didn’t get soft. Soft meant weak and weak meant dead. This boy couldn’t have been out there that long. That or he was way too young to be alone in the world.

“This is where you can sleep,” Jaehyo said, opening his door. Yukwon’s eyes widened in surprise as he took in what he saw. Jaehyo’s room wasn’t extravagant but it was a decent size with a permanent bed.

“Th-this?” The kid asked. He turned to stare at Jaehyo, eyes owlishly big. “What room is this?” He seemed afraid to step in. The reaction was utterly adorable.

“This,” Jaehyo waved his free hand, “is actually my quarters.” He might as well be honest, especially since he’d have to explain the door on the other side of the room. “You’ll be perfectly safe here and no one will bother you.” He wished someone had been able to tell him those words at one point.

Yukwon just stared.

Jaehyo stepped in, tugging on the tiny hand to get the boy to come in. “See that door?” He asked, motioning towards Jiho’s room. Yukwon nodded. “That room is where I’ll be.” Because it wasn’t like he’d be sleeping in his own bed. “It’s…” he sighed. “It’s also the master’s room.”

He didn’t think it was possible but the boy’s eyes got wider. “The master’s?” He repeated, voice barely more than a whisper.

“Yeah,” Jaehyo said, leading the boy to the bed. “If you need anything, come get me. I’ll be up in a few hours but you can wake me if you need anything.” Please don’t wake him up.

Yukwon nodded but didn’t move. Jaehyo didn’t blame the kid. If their positions were switched, he’d have done the same.

Slipping into Jiho’s bed, Jaehyo couldn’t help but wonder how in the world he was going to explain this. The thought didn’t keep him awake though. Exhaustion hit him before he was even fully in the bed.

“There is a child in your bed.”

So Jiho had woken up first. Because that was how he woke Jaehyo up. Jaehyo groaned in response. It was too early for this. He hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep and he had a list of things to do.

“Why is there a child in your bed?”

“Because it was the only place I could think to put him.” Jaehyo snuggled under the blanket, not wanting to wake up. If he pretended to sleep, maybe he would fall back asleep. A guy could dream.

“And why is he in this house?” Jiho sounded genuinely curious. No anger, no disappointment. Just pure curiosity. That was good. Maybe he wouldn’t have Jaehyo taken away for being a head case.

Obviously he wouldn’t be getting any more sleep. Jaehyo groaned again, rolling over to look at Jiho. “Because once upon a time, someone told me that if I could ever help some poor kid on the streets, I should do it as a way to repay him for taking me in.”


	13. i am batting with life, taking shortcuts just leads to more loss

“You look happy.”

Jaehyo looked over at Yukwon. The guy was looking at him, a thoughtful look on Yukwon’s handsome face. “What is it?” Yukwon added as he took a seat next to Jaehyo. He leaned over, resting his head on Jaehyo’s shoulder.

Reaching over, Jaehyo stroked Yukwon’s blond hair. He’d need to dye it again soon if he wanted to keep this color. Dark roots were starting to peek through. “I’m just happy,” Jaehyo said. He didn’t want to tell Jiho’s news just yet. He’d tell Yukwon at some point but not now. Jaehyo was excited about it. After all, this was what he’d spent entirely too much of his life dreaming about but for now, he’d keep the news to himself.

“Something’s different but I’m not sure what.” Yukwon closed his eyes. “I like it when you’re happy.”

Too cute. Yukwon could be too cute sometimes.

Jihoon wandered in and looked at them. “Is everything okay?” He asked as he came over to sit on Jaehyo’s other side.

“Yeah. Hyung’s happy again,” Yukwon answered, still with his eyes closed. “He just won’t say why.”

Jihoon giggled. “I bet I know why.” The kid grinned. “He got laid.”

Oh god. This was not the conversation Jaehyo wanted to be having. It was true in general but his love life was definitely not the thing he wanted to talk about. “Can we not?” He requested, knowing just how useless it probably was.

“That’s silly,” Jihoon replied, poking Jaehyo in the side. “Does this mean you’re staying for good?”

For a moment, Jaehyo was confused. He’d already told...oh wait, Jihoon hadn’t been there. He’d been in bed with Yukwon and Jiho when he’d decided to stay. “I’m staying,” he told Jihoon, putting an arm around the younger man and giving him a hug. “I’m here for good.”

He felt loved right now. This love was what he’d missed most about his time away. The love he had for Jiho was his driving force but the young men in this house were his life. He loved them in a way that went beyond his love for Jiho in an entirely different way. They were the best part of his life.

“So, you are getting laid?” Jihoon asked.

Jaehyo groaned. “Jihoon, stop.” His love life, well the sex part of it, was not up for discussion. It just felt too weird and awkward.

Jihoon laughed. “It’s too easy to mess with you, Hyung.”

It was a good thing Jihoon was cute. He was growing up though. A few years ago when he first came, Jihoon would never have been asking any of this. This was what they all did though. Except Yukwon. Jaehyo hugged the guy, feeling a surge of love for the boy. Yukwon was still here. Some nights, Jaehyo worried that Yukwon would never leave. Had bringing him in as such a young child made it so that he could never leave? This was the one worry that tended to randomly plague Jaehyo at times.

Kyung stopped in the doorway. “What in the world is going on?”

No doubt the sight looked odd to someone who wasn’t used to seeing piles of people lazing around together. “You can join us,” Yukwon offered, patting his lap.

Kyung shook his head. “I’ll pass,” he replied, sitting down across from them with a textbook.

“He’s got a boyfriend,” Jihoon sang.

Kyung glared. “A date, not a boyfriend.” He was trying not to blush but failing miserably. It made him adorable.

Still, his words caught Jaehyo’s attention. “You have a date?” Because hey, it wasn’t his sex life they were talking about.

Kyung sighed and closed his book. It was cute. Why in the world did the guy think he could get any studying done here? “A date,” he repeated. “It’s just a date with a guy from school.”

The repeated insistence of how not a big deal it was was cute. Kyung’s youth really shone. He was so young and the first love jitters he was showing were adorable.

“If you’re worried about us judging you, you really shouldn’t,” Jaehyo assured. “We’re an open household.” It would be hypocritical of him and Jiho to look down on someone just because he happened to prefer guys to girls. Jaehyo honestly couldn’t remember how long he’d been in love with the vampire himself.

“I’m not.” Kyung’s tone made it clear he wasn’t lying. “It’s just not something I want to talk about.”

Jaehyo knew that feeling. That was him every time his own was mentioned. He shot Kyung a sympathetic smile. “Ignore these two,” he advised. “They’re jealous they don’t have anyone.”

“You never ignore us,” Yukwon pointed out.

“And I regret it every time.” Jaehyo was shit at following his own advice. “If you’re smart, you won’t ever let them know anything,” he told Kyung.

Kyung shook his head. “I don’t even want to ask,” he said. He had a look like he was about to run. Jaehyo didn’t blame the guy.

“I know way too much about Hyung’s sex life,” Yukwon piped up, being extremely unhelpful.

Jaehyo groaned. “Let’s not,” he pleaded. His love, and sex, life were not up for public discussion. “You need to forget anything you know.”

Yukwon shifted, looking up at him. “I wish I could,” the brat replied. Jaehy fought the urge to swat him. Turning to Kyung, Yukwon added, “my first year or so here, I didn’t have my own bed so I slept in Hyung’s.”

That sounded absolutely awful. “I stayed with Zico,” Jaehyo tried to explain. He hadn’t been having any sex with Yukwon in the same bed. The kid had been in the next room. “And Yukwon was next door.”

“How long have you been in this house?” Jihoon was the one to ask it. It felt odd to have him ask a question and not Kyung. But then, Jihoon was young. He’d been here a few years but he was still a fairly new addition. In the days of old, he’d probably be the youngest, newest member of their household.

“A long time.” He honestly wasn’t sure just how long. They’d bought it before Yukwon had came. Over the years, it’d been renovated and updated though so the house was almost an entirely new one at this point. “It was originally meant for three families with a shared cellar.” Back then, it hadn’t been anything special but it had been huge compared to the place they’d been living in.

“We’ve changed it over the years.” This was his home. How he’d ever thought he could call somewhere else home was beyond him. “Expanded a few areas, re-done the layouts.” he smiled. “Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like the same house.”

Yukwon nodded. “Your floor,” he said, looking at Kyung and Jihoon,” used to be just one big room with no bathrooms.”

Jaehyo laughed, remembering those days. “I don’t think anyone was happier than that floor once it was renovated.” They’d celebrated for three days straight. It’d been awful. But at the same time, the enthusiasm was infectious.

Kyung leaned forward. He’d been listening, absorbing everything he heard. “Can I ask something?” He asked, oblivious to the irony.

“Sure.” Jaehyo shrugged. It wasn’t like things could get worse. After all, Yukwon already admitted he had knowledge of Jaehyo’s sex life.

“How have you been able to live here so long?”

Fair enough. “Luck,” Jaehyo answered. They had been rather lucky. “You’ve met Taeha and his family,” he continued. When Kyung nodded, Jaehyo kept talking. “It’s not unusual for some of the guys to end up settling in this neighborhood so that helps.”

It was a little freaky to run across the descendants of some of their former guys. “But it also helps that we adjust to Zico’s schedule. The people don’t see us often.”

“We’ve had a variety of different names here too.” A moment passed and Jaehyo realized how that could be misinterpreted. “The house. Sometimes we’ve been known as a shelter, other times a shared living place. Nowadays, we’re apparently student housing…” He couldn’t help the grin he shot Kyung. “That’s a good one, actually.”

“You’re welcome.” Kyung gave a mock salute.

“Most people don’t tend to pay attention to us. We’ve always had a reputation of not keeping people here forever. The guys stay here for a while and then move on.” It helped the few who stayed longer blend in. Also, changing haircuts and colors helped too. “And on a few occasions, I’ve been my own descendent.” Sometimes, it was plain unavoidable.

“How do people not get suspicious of who owns this place?” Kyung asked.

Jaehyo shrugged. Luck. “For the longest time, no one even really paid attention. Zico and I have passed ownership back and forth a few times too.” He honestly had no idea who the house legally belonged to at the moment. Not that he would have tried to take it from these boys if it was Jaehyo’s. This house was meant for them. Not Jaehyo.

Except it was. This was going to be his home forever. Sometime soon, because honestly a year year or two was nothing, Jiho would turn him. And if he made it through the madness, Jaehyo would be here for eternity. Another might have found the thought suffocating but it gave Jaehyo a sense of joy.

“Can you stop? That smile is creeping me out,” Yukwon said, teasing. The brat was grinning, showing just how much he didn’t mean it.

Kyung shook his head. “Why do I even bother?” He asked, gesturing towards his closed book. “Gonna go play some Overwatch.”

Jaehyo’s eyes widened in delight. He reached out, grabbing Kyung’s arm. Yukwon protested from where he’d fallen on the floor. “You play?” He couldn’t hide the excitement in his voice.

Kyung nodded. A toothy grin filled his face. “You too?”

“Yep.” After all, what else was he supposed to fill his time with?

\---

Yukwon rolled his eyes as he watched Jaehyo lug his computer upstairs to play with Kyung. He had a feeling he knew what those two would be doing for the next three days. Hopefully it only lasted that long.

Getting up, he headed downstairs. He didn’t stop until he reached the door to Zico’s private quarters. The glowing door lock might have deterred anyone else but not him. The code was too easy. He’d figured it out a long time ago.

The vampire was standing in Jaehyo’s room, examining a dent in the wall.

“You know, I didn’t think you two were having sex that was that rough,” Yukwon commented.

Zico whirled around to stare at him.

“Passcode’s too easy,” Yukwon explained. He stepped into the room. “So, who did that?”

The vampire relaxed. Yukwon knew he was the only only human other than Jaehyo who could get away with being down here. Looking at Zico, Yukwon held out his wrist. “Go ahead,” he told the guy.

Zico bowed his head in acknowledgement. He bit down. Yukwon winced. That part always hurt. It didn’t matter how many times he did this. It didn’t take long for the blood loss to lull him into that warm, peaceful place. In a way, it was its own sort of addiction. He could never get enough of this feeling.

“I did it,” Zico said after he’d finished feeding. “After he left.”

Ah, so that’s what those noises had been. Yukwon remembered them all too clearly. They’d lost two guys the next day. They’d been too freaked out to stay.

“That wasn’t very smart of you,” Yukwon pointed out. He leaned forward, inspecting the spot on the wall. The dent wasn’t huge but it was noticeable.

He heard Zico move, shifting. A familiar weight settled on Yukwon’s shoulder as Zico rested his chin there. Most of the humans they had would freak out over such close contact. Zico usually tried to avoid getting close to them except to feed. He didn’t know why exactly but Yukwon had always figured it was a way for the vampire to try and protect himself.

The proximity didn’t bother Yukwon. It hadn’t bothered him as a child either. His brain was probably screwed up.

“I’m going to turn Jaehyo.”

Yukwon’s heart stopped at those words. That went beyond big. That was huge. “Does he know?” Yukwon asked. As soon as he did, he realized that there was no way that Jaehyo didn’t know. He was so happy. Of course he was happy. This was exactly what Jaehyo had always wanted. Then why did Yukwon feel so bad about this? Why had Zico’s voice sounded so serious?

“What’s the downside?” Yukwon had to ask even as the words settled in the pit of his stomach, making him feel ill.

“We could lose him.”

Yukwon didn’t miss the ‘we’ the vampire used. Good. Jaehyo might be everything to the vampire but he was Yukwon’s Hyung. The one who’d saved him, had cared for him. A brother, a mother, a father, and a mentor all rolled into one. It had been so hard not to chase after Jaehyo when he left. But Zico wouldn’t have been able to handle that. Someone had had to take care of Zico. Because if Jaehyo had returned a found a broken or dead Zico, it would have killed him.

That’s why he’d sent Jihoon to bring Jaehyo back. Yukwon knew himself. He wouldn’t have been able to resist. He’d have stayed with Jaehyo. It was definitely better for Jihoon to make that visit.

“What do you mean by ‘lose him’?” Yukwon asked. That was not what he wanted to hear. It sounded ominous. His heart was already aching at just the thought of Jaehyo being gone.

He didn’t love Jaehyo. At least, he didn’t love him like Zico loved him. Yukwon loved Jaehyo but it was a different kind of love. They were family. It wasn’t a blood relation but Jaehyo was more his family than anyone else in this world.

Zico wrapped his arms around Yukwon. In another situation, it might have been romantic. Instead it just came across as both seeking and giving comfort. “It’s hard to say.” Zico’s voice sounded broken. It was something Yukwon had only heard once, when Jaehyo had left them.

“He could change. Not everyone comes out the same,” Zico continued.

Those words didn’t exactly give Yukwon confidence. He liked, loved, Jaehyo as he was. The man was kind and caring. He was always so good-hearted. If there was a problem, he’d done everything he could to fix it. Or at least make it better in whatever way he could. Jaehyo was easy to tease and play with, taking it all in stride. He was the perfect big brother. And they had a chance of losing him.

“Or he could get lost in the madness.” Zico’s arms tightened their grip. True, pure fear radiated off the vampire.

“Madness?” Yukwon repeated, trying to keep calm himself. He really didn’t like the sound of that.

Zico nodded, his chin digging into Yukwon’s shoulder. “In the process, there’s a period of insanity,” he said. He didn’t offer anything else and Yukwon decided not to push. Something told him that was a road they couldn’t handle just yet.

“Is there anything we can do for him?” Anything they could do to help Jaehyo, that would bring him back to them while he was lost. Yukwon leaned back into the vampire. As much as he adored Jaehyo, he realized his love for Zico was nearly the same. These two were his life. His family.

“We have to do better for him this time.” Yukwon understood what that meant perfectly. And he could admit it was right. He’d tried to fill Jaehyo’s shoes but only up to a point. He’d been so hurt after Jaehyo had left. So angry. He’d felt like someone had ripped out his heart, leaving a bloody hole in his chest that oozed pain. All he’d felt like doing was lay in bed, trying to ignore the world around him. When people had started leaving, he’d just let them. Yukwon hadn’t tried to keep them, to do whatever he could to make things better so they wouldn’t leave.

Jiho sighed loudly in his ear. “We have a little time,” he admitted. “We don’t have enough people for feedings. A baby vampire requires blood.”

A lot of blood. Yukwon could read between the lines. And they had Zico too. He didn’t require much blood, at least, not all at once. He took a little but he took often, trying to spread out his feedings and the amount he took. It helped to keep people from becoming ill, from the blood loss causing a servant’s death.

“And I need to make some changes down here to keep you guys safe.” Zico gave a quick squeeze. It was reassuring. The confidence and the way Zico spoke now was so different from the way he’d spoken once they’d realized Jaehyo wasn’t coming back. His voice now said they could do this, that they would be able to do it. “In the madness, he won’t have any control. He won’t recognize anyone.”

“Even you?”

“Even me.” The pain in Zico’s voice was clear. Yukwon reached up to squeeze the arm wrapped around him. That would be rough. Jaehyo would physically be so close but mentally, he’d be worlds away. “I need a way to keep you all safe.”

Which meant they were all in danger. Jaehyo as a vampire could hurt them. And if he found out he had hurt someone, it’d kill him. The guilt would get him. Jaehyo, the Jaehyo they knew and loved, wouldn’t be able to deal with that. And if they had a Jaehyo who didn’t mind, well, that wouldn’t be Jaehyo.

“Do you have any ideas?” Yukwon asked. What could be done to keep the humans safe and alive?

“I’ll have to lock him up.” Sorrow continued to fill Zico’s voice, making it clear just how much he hated the idea.

Where in the world would they lock someone up?

“Your room.” The realization hit him almost instantly. It would be the safest, easiest place to keep an insane Jaehyo. There was only one way in or out.

Zico nodded. “That was my thought.”

“Would you stay in there with him? Or would you…” Yukwon didn’t even know what.

“I was thinking of swapping the rooms,” Zico answered, gesturing to the room around them. It made sense. Zico could control access to Jaehyo that way. He would say near.

Yukwon gave a little nod of understanding. “Wait until after my birthday?” Even to his own his ears, his voice came out sounding little and childish. But he needed one more birthday with Jaehyo. One more just in case he never got another.


	14. why and how did I come to this place?

That was a new one. Jihoon stared at Kyung and Jaehyo. They’d dragged a couple of computers out and had them set up. Kyung was yelling. Jaehyo was cursing. Jihoon decided not to ask questions.

Hyuntae was late. Talk about annoying. Jihoon took another sip of the scotch he’d ordered. This place was way too fancy for him. It was like being back with his father and and that whole world. He loved having Minho. The guy was his best friend. They’d grown up together. But Minho, having him around kept bringing back memories Jihoon had tried to block out.

A guy sat next to him. For a moment, Jihoon thought it was Hyuntae but a glance quickly dismissed that. The guy was tiny in comparison to his friend. Blond hair with a hint of pale pink clearly marked this guy as someone different. Tattoos marked his skin, only further pushing the someone different idea. He seemed to have tattoos everywhere too from what Jihoon could see. They seemed to go from his neck all the way down to his fingers. The one on the guy’s neck was particularly fascinating. It was hard to figure out just what it was. A bird? Or maybe a bat…

“Could you stop staring?” The guy snapped, giving Jihoon a dark look. He had a set of glasses on his face that softened his overall image. They made the guy look cute.

“Sorry,” Jihoon answered, taking another drink. He’d need to order another drink soon. This one was almost gone and Hyuntae would be paying for both of them since he was taking so long.

“Are you even old enough to drink?” The guy asked, staring at Jihoon.

“I’m old enough to do plenty of things.” Jihoon wanted to die. His voice came out deeper and huskier than normal, making that sound suggestive in a way he hadn’t meant for. The guy must have thought so too because a pink tinge settled across his cheeks. It made him look cute, cuter than he already was.

It was true though. Jihoon knew he could look younger than he was. He’d been with Zico since he was fifteen. Living in that house, it slowed the aging process. Who knew how old all the different hyungs were. They looked like they were Jihoon’s age but he knew they were far, far older than that.

But oh well, if he was going down this path, he might as well have a little fun along the way. Besides, Hyuntae still hadn’t shown up. Knowing him, he’d probably gotten distracted by a pretty girl and bailed. “You know, you’re cute when you blush.”

The guy’s cheeks got pinker. It really did make him look that much cuter. The clashing images intrigued Jihoon, made him curious to find out more about his new companion. He wasn’t Jihoon’s usual type. Usually Jihoon found himself drawn to someone a bit more feminine with things like long hair, breasts, and a soft voice. Still, after a few years with Zico and the others had been enough to open Jihoon’s eyes. They’d opened him up to the possibility of a relationship with a guy. And he had a decent feeling this guy would be open to the idea too. They were in a gay bar after all. It was fancy as fuck but it was a gay bar.

Not that Jihoon had come here looking for someone. In fact, he’d told Hyuntae to meet him here specifically so he could avoid certain people. He didn’t want anyone from his old life to find him, to spot him and let word of where he was get back to his father. He didn't’ want anyone asking him questions about where he’d gone or what he’d been up to. He’d found that the people at gay clubs, especially ones like this, liked to be more discrete. Not everyone wanted to talk and learn everything about each other here. Less questions, more avoidance. Plus, the place had a decent alcohol selection.

“You still don’t need to be staring,” the guy shot back. “It’s rude.”

Jihoon gave his best smile. “I’ve never seen someone with so many tattoos,” he explained. He knew people with some but this guy had nearly every bit of skin that was showing (other than his cute face) covered in some sort of ink.

“They’re not going anywhere,” the guy growled. It was obviously a touchy subject. The protectiveness was hot in a weird sort of way. He had a fierceness that drew Jihoon in even more. It was an unexpected turn-on.

“I hope not,” Jihoon replied. “They’re gorgeous.” And they really were. He’d never been quite so taken with tattoos before. He’d seen on them on people. Zico had a few. But they’d never grabbed at him like this guy’s were.

The colors on the guy’s fingers were gorgeous. They were bright and playful. Somehow they looked delicate too. It was an odd contrast and one that drew Jihoon in. And he had so many. It made Jihoon curious to see the rest.

“I’m Jihoon,” he added after a moment when the guy didn’t respond.

“Just Jihoon?” The guy repeated.

He nodded. The way his name rolled off this stranger’s tongue made him want to shiver. He didn’t At least, he didn’t think he shivered. How embarrassing would that be?

“I don’t use my family name.” He hadn’t ever since he had left his family’s home. Maybe he’d go back to using Pyo one day but for now, he was Jihoon. He wasn’t ready to be Pyo again. Not yet.

The guy nodded in a non-committal sort of way. It wasn’t the rarest thing in this place. The people here liked to stay anonymous.

Signalling the bartender, Jihoon ordered another drink.

“How old are you?” the guy asked. Like he could talk. The guy had a babyface himself. He couldn’t be much older than Jihoon. If he was older. Jihoon kind of doubted the guy was older. He looked too cute to be old.

“Old enough to drink.” Jihoon took another drink from his glass to back up his point. “You?”

The guy didn’t respond. Instead, he reached over and grabbed the glass from Jihoon. He drank the whole thing in one gulp. The guy didn’t even react though that had to burn.

“Old enough to do that.”

Jihoon ignored his phone. No doubt it was Hyuntae, making up some excuse about why he couldn’t make it. The guy next to Jihoon was far more interesting at the moment.

A thought popped into his head. Given this guy’s unpredictability, Jihoon wondered how the guy would respond. “You know, if you wanted to kiss me, there are more direct ways to do it.”

The guy choked on the sip he’d taken from the drink the bartender had set in front of him. He cough, spluttering to get a little air. It made him entirely too cute. Jihoon fought the urge to gobble the guy up. The sight in front of him was too much and he couldn’t help himself. He leaned into the guy’s personal space.

He meant to just play, to tease his new friend. What he didn’t expect was the guy closing to the distance to kiss Jihoon on the lips.

It was a firm and needy kiss. There was a desperate, unexpected hunger to it that ignited something within Jihoon. He wanted more of this mysterious man, to explore and devour him. And he was getting a similar vibe from the guy.

A motel. They needed a room. He couldn’t even blame the alcohol. It was all this man who left him feeling drunk. He’d never experienced something quite like this before. He’d kissed people but this instant fire of attraction had never been there.

They barely made it to the motel room. Clothes were flung without a care. Jihoon stared at the marked body of the man. Everything about him was gorgeous. And he was toned. The baggy clothes had hidden this man’s body. He had muscles that were well-defined, making it clear that he wasn’t soft.

Those muscles were strong too. Jihoon found himself being pushed onto the bed. He sank into it, the stranger joining him. It was hard to tell where he ended and this guy began. Hands, limbs, lips were everywhere. The guy might have been small but it was clear that didn’t extend everywhere else. And he knew just what to do too.

Jihoon didn’t even know this guy’s name but he was in love with the man’s tongue, his mouth. He was doing something. Jihoon didn’t know what it was but it was making him see stars. He was so close to cumming, especially when the guy did that one thing with his tongue. 

And then his mouth was gone.

This man was evil. Mind-blowing evil. Jihoon loved and hated him all in the same moment. But then he realized that this gave him a chance to explore more of this mysterious man.

Those muscles were as firm as they looked. They were taut, carrying a promise of power and strength. And his thighs. Gods they could crush Jihoon. Just who was this man?

He got his answer after a quick shower. He’d had to clean up. Sweat and cum were fun but only for a little while. Once they started drying, they itched and begged to be cleaned. His new friend apparently share that opinion though because he and his clothes were gone by the time Jihoon was done.

Noticing his phone on the bedside table, Jihoon noticed that he had a new message.

_In case you ever want your mind blown again_

The name for his new friend said ‘Taeil’.

\---

A tiny child was sitting up in the bed. His eyes were owlishly big as he stared around the room. The sight melted Jiho’s heart. Jaehyo had already told him a little about the boy. He couldn’t blame Jaehyo for falling for this child. He was tiny and looked so fragile, so vulnerable. In a way, Jiho was reminded of Jaehyo, of how he’d once been.

Then Yukwon spotted him. The boy squeaked, scrambling out of Jaehyo’s bed. He stumbled and fell, caught up in a mess of limbs and blanket.

“You’re find,” Jiho told the kid, trying to not laugh. “Jaehyo already explained.”

There was still a look of fear on the boy’s face when he finally freed himself. Standing there, he looked even younger. “Who are you?” His tiny voice asked.

“Jiho. This is my house.” Might as well get it all out in the open now.

The child stared. “You don’t look old,” he said, his voice a mix of awe and disbelief.

Jiho couldn’t help himself. He laughed, deep and full from his belly. He clutched the door frame, needing the support it provided. He already liked this kid.

A loud groan came from behind Jiho, from his own bed. “Shut up,” Jaehyo grumbled from the pile of blankets and pillows. “You’re too loud.”

Yukwon tried to peer into the room. The boy’s curiosity was clear on his face. He was cute. A baby but a cute one. “You can come look,” Jiho offered. It might be stupid of him to do so but he trusted this kid already. The power of a child.

Dear lord. Jiho gripped the door again. “You made me buy a house and brought me a child,” he said, trying not to succumb to laughter again. He failed. Miserably. Whoever would have thought this would be his life? That he’d become so domestic.

“Shut. Up.” Jaehyo tossed a pillow in his direction. “You could wake the dead.”

“Too late.” Jiho grinned. “The dead are already awake.” Jaehyo would have realized that if he himself were truly awake. Tiny Yukwon looked back and forth between the two of them.

“Are you really the master?” Yukwon asked. “You don’t act like one.”

“He is,” Jaehyo confirmed from the bed. “And he’s older than he looks.”

As if Jaehyo could talk. “That man,” Jiho said to the boy, “is the one who really runs this place. And he’s older than he looks too.” Jaehyo flipped over to look at them.

“Anything he says,” Jiho continued, “carries just as much weight as what I say.” More. All their boys loved Jaehyo. He was their friend, their protector. He was everything Jiho wasn’t.

Yukwon was staring at Jaehyo, a new appreciation on his face. “You said you were a servant.” He didn’t sound angry or confused. The kid just seemed curious. It made Jiho like him even more.

“Did he really say that?” Jiho gave his grumpy human a smirk. That was amusing. “He’s more than a servant.” Far, far more than that. It was impossible to describe just what Jaehyo was.

“You talk too much,” Jaehyo complained form where he was laying.

Yukwon kept looking back and forth between the two of them. “What is this place?” He finally asked. “You guys don’t seem normal.”

Jiho laughed again. “I like this kid,” he gasped out. A child’s innocence was something they’d never had and had apparently needed.

“He’s not normal,” Jaehyo said, eyes on Yukwon. “You can trust him but he’s not normal.”

Little eyes looked over Jiho, taking in everything about him. He wondered what he looked like to the boy. Jiho knew he was tall and pale, paler than anyone had a right to be. He wasn’t handsome either, not like Jaehyo was. At best, Jiho knew he was more interesting looking than anything else. He wouldn’t lie to himself like others might.

He took the moment to examine Yukwon. Obviously he was tiny and skinny. He looked so young but Jiho wasn’t quite sure how old the boy was. His dark chocolate eyes showed a wisdom that a baby didn’t, shouldn’t, have. He had long, dark brown hair. It was a wild mess of tangles that would have to be cut off. There was simply no easier way of dealing with that mess. But the boy was clean. And absolutely swallowed in…

“You gave him one of my shirts?” Jiho raised an eyebrow at Jaehyo. Why one of his shirts? Granted it was an older one that he rarely wore but still.

Jaehyo sat up. It took everything Jiho had not to jump on the guy. Instead, he settled for licking his lips hungrily at the sight in front of him. Sleep-tousled hair, eyes half-lidded with sleep. Jaehyo’s shirt had slipped open, revealing beautiful, smooth skin that begged to be bitten again. As it was, Jiho could see a small bruise from where he’d marked Jaehyo a few days ago. That little mark made him want to leave more.

There was a child watching them though so he’d have to restrain himself.

“It was the first one I could find,” Jaehyo said with a yawn. “He needed something. I wasn’t going to let him wear his dirty clothes.”

“What are you going to put him in?” Jiho asked. They didn’t have anything that would fit this child. He was far smaller than anyone else in the house.

Jaehyo yawned again. “I was going to run over to the night market and grab a few basics.”

It made sense. That’s what Jiho himself would do if their positions were swapped.

“You don’t need to talk about me like I’m not here,” Yukwon’s little voice spoke up. “My clothes are fine.”

Jaehyo shook his head. “They need to be washed and you need more than one set if you’re going to stay here.”

Jiho nodded in agreement. If the boy was going to stay, he needed to have a few sets of clean clothes and a place to stay. Which brought up a good point. “Where is he going to stay?” They didn’t have any spare beds for the boy. And Yukwon was so little. All the guys in their house were good but seeing Yukwon brought up all those protective feelings that Jiho was unused to feeling.

“The only open spot is my room.” Jaehyo stood, stretching. “So he’ll stay there for now.”

A kid in the next room. That wasn’t too bad. Jiho felt like his life was becoming very domestic all of a sudden. He liked the idea though. It gave him a feeling of warmth, of seeing that caring look in Jaehyo’s eyes. This was why he’d wanted them to have this house. He loved seeing Jaehyo like this.

Jiho kept a smile on his face, trying his best to ignore the pang of pain that hit him. He could remember seeing that look before. It had been a long time but he’d seen it before, had had it directed at himself. Jiseok had looked at him that way.

He couldn’t do down this path. Not now. Closing his eyes, Jiho took a deep breath. He didn’t need to breathe except to speak. However a lifetime of breathing had ingrained the habit. Times like now, the action also helped calm Jiho down.

Yukwon was eating like he hadn’t eaten in months. Poor kid probably hadn’t. Jiho almost wondered what they’d do if Yukwon choked. Or rather, what he’d do. Jaehyo had headed out to find some child-sized clothes.

“How old are you?” Yukwon asked after the food was gone.

Jiho shrugged. “I don’t know,” he answered, being honest. He’d lost track some time ago. “I was born in the year of the monkey though.” He knew that much at least.

Yukwon’s eyes brightened. A brilliant, cherubic grin lit up his entire little face. “Me too,” he said, the joy in his voice clear.

Counting through the years, Jiho felt sick. That’d make this boy about six years old. Such a young baby. Who had let such a young boy live on the streets?

“How did Jaehyo find you?” That part hadn’t exactly been explained to him. He wasn’t surprised that a child had been the one to snag Jaehyo, especially one so young and little.

Yukwon shrugged. “Don’t know.” He gave his bowl a sad look.

“Hungry?” Jiho asked. There was more food. And he wanted to see this boy gain some more weight.

Yukwon shook his head. “No,” he said, sadness filling his voice this time.

Jiho smiled. He understood the boy’s problem. “You’re too full to eat more but you want to.” The boy looked at him, surprise on his face. He’d clearly not expected Jiho to understand his current dilemna.

“I wasn’t always like I am now,” Jiho explained. “When I was younger, my…” it was so easy to think of Jiseok around this boy. Jiho took a deep breath and continued on. “My brother and I didn’t grow up with anything.”

They’d had their mother but she had always been so busy trying to care for them, to make ends meet. So he’d always been with Jiseok. His brother had been the one rock in Jiho’s life, the one who had been so solid and dependable even when times were tough. Their mother had tried but she’d struggled to do it all on her own. She’d tried to keep them from going hungry but there had been times when it’d been unavoidable.

“Are you okay?” Yukwon asked. He was reaching out to touch the vampire’s face.

Jiho nodded. “I’m fine,” he told the boy. “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you like. There will always be food, a bed, and safety here,” he added. No one would hurt this child as long as he was with them. “As long as you want to say, you’ll have a home here,” Jiho promised, meaning every word.


	15. i'm already so afraid of tomorrow without you

A couple of girls in hanbok were posing in front of the nearly deserted palace. No surprise there. It looked closed today. The normality of them, of the couple only feet away posing in their own hanbok, felt surreal. Busy traffic zoomed by him on one side, tourists gawking at Gyeongbokgung Palace on the other.

Spotting the ‘Books on Korea’ sign Minhyuk had told him to look for, Kyung turned. A group of guys around his own age were joking around. It seemed so weird, like they had stepped out of the past. The hanbok and palace really did it. Kyung wondered if this was how Zico had looked. He knew the vampire was old. What had he been like in the past?

Had Zico walked this same path at one point?

The museum sat back from the road. Inside it was full of clean, white lines. Some people were around but it didn’t seem to be a busy place. A hand grabbed his arm. For a moment, Kyung almost panicked but he instantly relaxed once he turned. It was Minhyuk.

The guy looked genuinely surprised to see Kyung. A happy relief filled his face. “You actually came.”

“Of course.” Kyung had almost chickened out. He’d even drafted a ‘sorry something came up’ message about a dozen times. The butterflies in his stomach made him so nervous he was almost sick. But each time he’d remembered that look on Minhyuk’s face as he described Kyung, it stopped. At least for a moment. Kyung was terrified of that look and yet, he couldn’t get enough of it.

He let Minhyuk lead the way into the place. There was a quiet sense of peace to the art museum. This wasn’t the usual sort of place he went but Kyung could appreciate it. The fact that it showed him a little more about Minhyuk was nice too.

Still, it was hard to take in the art. It didn’t grab him. Kyung could recognize the beauty of the painting in front of him. It was beautiful but it didn’t grab at him.

Minhyuk however...Minhyuk himself could be a piece of work found in this museum. He was gazing at the painting, seeming to be totally lost in it. An awe filled his face. He was handsome in a way that took away Kyung’s breath. This was bringing out the best in Minhyuk.

They stepped through a doorway and entered a room full of tables. A futon on the floor was to the right but otherwise, the room was empty. Pain seemed to resonate from everywhere, a sense of depression and resignation trying to latch onto Kyung’s very soul. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, trying to fight the urge to run back out of the room.

Minhyuk made his way over to one of the tables. Kyung followed, sitting next to his hyung to read the paper that was on the desk. Their thighs touched. The warmth and Minhyuk’s solid presence helped ground Kyung as he read about the artist’s journey.

The feelings he was getting from this room made sense. Stuck in a life where everyday was like the last, no break until death would one day come. This was the life his parents wanted for him, the one he was desperately trying to run from. But it was also Minhyuk’s world. And Kyung was still in it. He hadn’t stepped fully into Zico’s world yet. He’d seen a little peek into it but the more Kyung saw, the more Kyung wondered if he could make it.

Minhyuk offered his hand as they walked into darkness. A stairway beckoned. The whole place was creepy; Kyung took the hand. Minhyuk’s hand was soft in his. There was a firmness too, one that spoke of a confidence that Kyung admired. Minhyuk was reliable. He could let himself rely on the man.

It wouldn’t be like Zico. The vampire was unavailable. As Kyung learned about Zico’s world, he started to gain an understanding that he’d never pictured. That also completely dismissed the fact that Zico wasn’t human. There would be no dates like this. He could never bring Zico home to his family. With Zico, there would never be a normal.

“Are you okay?” Minhyuk asked as they left that particular gallery. At some point, he’d let go of Kyung’s hand, a fact that Kyung only just now noticed.

Kyung nodded. “This place makes me think,” he admitted. It was unexpected. He thought he’d come look at art and see Minhyuk.

Minhyuk nodded. “That’s one of the reasons why I like it.” They were all alone right now in this space between galleries. He smiled a took a step closer to Kyung, offering his hand again.

Every time Minhyuk offered his hand, Kyung felt like life was offering a choice. Normality and Minhyuk or Zico and the unknown? Both were terrifying but for different reasons. Zico wasn’t even human. His world was mysterious and carried dangers that Kyung had never even considered. Zico was unavailable. The more Kyung learned, the more he was able to recognize this. In a way, that made Zico the safe option. Kyung knew exactly where he stood. He’d always be able to pine away, safely knowing he’d always suffer a little heartbreak but that it’d never be able to touch him.

Minhyuk was dangerous. Minhyuk was right here. He wanted Kyung. There was the potential for so much. There could be a future here. If things went right, this man could be his future. They could be equal partners, able to fully share each other’s lives. This was a man he could bring to his parents, someone who could offer support if things didn’t go well with his family. And that’s what made Minhyuk so dangerous. The potential highs were so high and the potential lows were equally low. If he let himself fall for Minhyuk, his heart could get broken. And unlike Zico, it would be unexpected. It would be a surprise and it would hurt.

Fear left him internally paralyzed. All it would take was the courage to reach out and take Minhyuk’s hand. He wanted to do it. The idea of being loved so deeply was what Kyung longed for. He wanted to love like that. Leaving himself that open to someone was terrifying.

They moved into another gallery. This one was about Seoul’s architecture. Minhyuk headed towards where a model of a building was set up. Kyung held back. He took the moment to watch Minhyuk.

His hyung was handsome. On a physical level, Kyung could be attracted to him. He was. It wasn’t the same sort of attraction he had for Zico. That was puppy love, an innocent crush on a person who would never love him the way he wanted to be loved. Minhyuk was a good guy and the more Kyung let himself think about it, the more he realized he could love Minhyuk. There was the potential to fall so deeply. And whenever he was around Minhyuk, the guy had this ability to make all of Kyung’s worries melt away. They didn’t vanish completely but he had a way of making them seem not quite so bad.

But could he love Minhyuk? Could he let himself be open enough to fall in love? He wanted to love someone, to be loved. But loving like that was scary.

The next gallery was dark. Kyung half-wondered if someone or something would reach out and grab him. Minhyuk rested a hand on Kyung’s back. The touch was comforting, reassuring. Seats were set up on one end, the other side of the room taken up by three massive screens. The video looked like it was just starting so Kyung headed for the top.

Three girls, all trying to figure out how to navigate through life. Kyung could relate in a way. He felt just as lost as the girls did. But unlike them, Kyung didn’t have to be alone. He wasn’t alone.

Taking a deep breath, Kyung decided to let go of his fears, to be brave. He reached over and took Minhyuk’s hand in his own, lacing their fingers together. Minhyuk looked at him, surprise on his face. Kyung gave a little squeeze, trying to calm the fluttering inside himself. Minhyuk’s surprise melted into a warm smile. He squeezed Kyung’s hand in return. That finally helped make everything feel like it might be right.

\---

“What are you?”

Blood dripped from Jiho’s mouth. A woman lay crumpled at his feet. Jaehyo took a step back, grasping for the wall behind him. It was so solid, unlike how the rest of the world felt.

“Jae-” Blood mingled with saliva flew towards him.

Jaehyo ran. He ran and ran. Turning left and right, he didn’t stop until he was completely lost. Leaning on a wall, he braced himself against it. And then he emptied the contents of his stomach.

What the hell was that? He’d clearly seen Jiho biting that woman’s neck. It wasn’t a romantic sort of bite either. He’d been drinking...Jaehyo heaved, his stomach flipping and threatening to come back up again.

Wiping his mouth with his sleeve, Jaehyo stumbled on. He had to get away. There was something seriously wrong with Jiho. The guy drank blood. Just the thought made Jaehyo heave again but this time nothing came up.

He kept walking until he found a few trees gathered together. He sat under one. Pulling his knees close, Jaehyo hugged them. He was trying to keep it all together but he couldn’t. He couldn’t breathe. He was breathing so fast and yet at the same time, none of it was actually getting to his lungs.

A week had gone by since he’d moved into Jiho’s home. The place had been nice too. Two rooms, both mostly underground. One had been Jiho’s personal room, a place that Jaehyo had yet to see. The other holding everything else including a little spot Jaehyo had claimed for himself. It wasn’t much but it’d been inside. There had been food and warmth and Jiho.

Except Jiho wasn’t human. He was some sort of monster or demon or something. Humans didn’t do that. Humans could be awful but they weren’t like that. The memory of the woman crumpling to the ground flashing in his head. Had Jiho killed her?

The sun was up when Jaehyo woke. He hadn’t even realized he’d fallen asleep. There wasn’t snow on the ground but it was cold. Too cold. He didn’t even have his blanket now. The blanket that Jiho had given him.

Jaehyo’s stomach heaved at the thought. Bile burned as he threw it up, having nothing else left in him. He wasn’t sure why he was shaking. There were more than a few options. It was cold as fuck out. He hadn’t eaten in a day and anything he might have had was currently on the ground. And then there was whatever Jiho was.

The daylight was comforting. Jiho had made it very clear that he and sunlight did not mix. As long as the sun shone, he should be safe from whatever Jiho was.

He practically stumbled back into town. He was so thirsty. And cold. Jaehyo felt like crying. There was no way he’d survive winter now. Not without a miracle.

A bucket set out for a horse helped with his thirst. He might have felt disgusted by that except he knew this was the life he had now. Again. A few days ago, he’d had so many hopes that maybe, just maybe, his luck was changing. That brief taste of sweet hope made everything all the more bitter now. It wasn’t fair. Jiho had brought him so much and ruined it all at the same time.

A string and a rusty, abandoned hook by the river allowed Jaehyo to catch a fish. It wasn’t much but at least it assured Jaehyo that he would freeze to death before he could starve to death.

Darkness fell. Fear gripped Jaehyo, not allowing him to sleep. Jiho was out there somewhere. And now that Jaehyo knew he wasn’t human, there was no way Jiho would let him live. Which sucked because Jaehyo knew how to keep his mouth shut. He wouldn’t go around saying anything. No one would believe him even if he did.

Only the beginning rays of sunlight brought him enough peace to sleep a little. But daylight brought people. To be honest, people weren’t much better. They were just a different sort of monster.

The day passed fitfully. His body longed to sleep but his brain refused the call. Fear and adrenaline would jolt him awake whenever he started to fall asleep. Hunger both ached and lulled him to sleep. He wanted to turn back to time, to go back to before he’d ever met Jiho.

Jiho had poisoned him with kindness. Because as terrified as he was of the monster that was Jiho, Jaehyo missed his friend. He missed the peace and comfort that Jiho had given him. The idea that he might someday be okay. That he wasn’t alone.

At some point, he did fall asleep. A deep, peaceful sleep that actually made Jaehyo feel somewhat human. And while he woke up cold, he wasn’t as cold as he should have been. It took a few moments for him to register why.

A blanket was draped over him. A thick, heavy one. In front of him sat a small sack. It was full of apples. In an instant, Jaehyo understood. Jiho had found him.

But Jiho hadn’t done anything to him. He’d just given tools Jaehyo would need to survive.

Tears burned Jaehyo’s eyes. He wanted to hate Jiho so much and yet he couldn’t. Though Jiho might be a monster, he was still kind. A kind monster. It made no sense and went against everything Jaehyo knew to be true. But then, that was exactly what he knew Jiho to be. Kind.

His heart ached as he remembered Jiho’s smile. Jiho’s laugh. Why had Jiho entered his life? He’d been so okay before the guy had become a fixture in his life. Maybe not the best but he’d been able to get by without dying.

Jiho had changed everything.

He was shaking. This time it was out of fear but not the same sort of fear that had lead Jaehyo to flee. Looking at the door, he didn’t know what to do. Should he knock? Should he wait? Did he just go inside?

In the end, he waited. He sat on the cold ground, the blanket wrapped around him. And he waited. At the very least, he had to know what Jiho was. If this led to Jaehyo’s own death, well, at least it’d be faster than starving and hopefully less painful than freezing.

It felt like forever before the door opened. By now, darkness had fallen. He was still shaking, shivering, but that was just from the cold. He was mentally and physically exhausted. He hadn’t left though. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t.

Jiho’s face held a look of shock. The warmth from a fire inside reached for Jaehyo, calling him. It drew him in. He pushed past the man and sat next to the fire. For all the fear he’d held before, he couldn’t bring himself to have the energy for it now.

Jiho came over and sat nearby. Not next to him but near enough to reach out and touch if he wished. The warmth was delicious and the warmth was comforting. Jaehyo didn’t think he’d care even if the man did touch him. He was tired, so tired. He’d never felt this sort of exhaustion in his life.

“What are you?” Jaehyo asked. He knew Jiho wasn’t human. That he had to be some sort of monster or spirit. At least then he might be able to live with himself for coming back here. For wanting to be here. He’d fought with himself for days but he’d had to come back. He had to know what Jiho was. His body craved the food and safety Jiho provided. And his heart had missed Jiho.

“I’m not human,” Jiho said. He spoke his words slowly and carefully. “Not anymore.”

Did that mean Jiho had been human at one time? It should have made Jaehyo feel guilty but he just couldn’t work up the emotion.

“I was born human,” Jiho continued. “And was turned into this…” he paused and looked to be mentally counting the years, “near the time you were born.”

What. That was new. Jiho didn’t look to be any older than Jaehyo himself but if his words were true, he had to be twice Jaehyo’s age.

“What are you?” Jaehyo asked again, unable to hide the weariness he felt. What creature could live for so many years, looking entirely unchanged by time?

Jiho took a long time to answer. Jaehyo had almost fallen asleep when Jiho began to speak again. “The one who made me into this came from another land. He called us ‘vampires’ but we’re still human-ish.”

“Human-ish?” The word Jiho had used meant nothing to Jaehyo. It was strange and something he’d never heard of before.

“I still look like I did when I was human,” Jiho replied. “If I’m cut, I bleed. But blood…” Jiho stared into the fire. “I need human blood to survive.”

Which was why he’d seen Jiho with that woman. Speaking of, Jaehyo decided to ask. “Did she die?” He couldn’t imagine someone living through that. The confusion on Jiho’s face showed that he’d clearly had no clue what Jaehyo spoke of. “The woman, the one from that night.”

It took Jiho a few moments to process what Jaehyo had asked, who he was talking about. “She lived,” he answered. “I didn’t take enough to kill her.”

A wave of relief warmed Jaehyo from inside. Jiho’s words could be a lie. He recognized this. He didn’t think it was though. At this point, there was no reason for Jiho to lie to him.

“Long ago, you asked if I ate.” Jiho avoided looking at him. Jaehyo had no idea what the guy was talking about but he stayed quiet. “I can only drink blood. Any other foods leave me sick. It’s been this way ever since I became this.”

Jiho’s voice was soft and comforting. Between the warmth and his voice, it was getting harder and harder for Jaehyo to keep his eyes open. The peace he felt now at knowing what Jiho was sent a wave of calm through him. He knew it was rude, that he should try to stay awake. He couldn’t. Not when he brain kept telling him he was safe now.

“Are you going to leave again?” Jiho asked.

Good question. “I’ll stay for now,” Jaehyo replied. At least until something better came along. Besides, he’d lived with monsters before and Jiho was no monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Museum mentioned in the Museum of Modern and Contemporary Art (MMCA). If you're ever in Seoul, I highly recommend spending the 4000 won and checking it out. Exhibits mentioned were on display in January 2018.


	16. you are doing nothing but your body’s showing off yourself

Jaehyo stopped as soon as he entered his room. It was a mess. Clothes, pillows, and blankets were thrown everywhere. Jiho was in the middle of it all. He almost didn’t ask.

“What are you doing?” Jaehyo had to know why his room was a disaster. Again.

Jiho looked over, a guilty look on his face. It was a cute look on him. He always seemed so confident and self-assured. Jaehyo knew that wasn’t the case. He’d seen the other sides of Jiho before. His favorite times were the ones like now when he was able to catch Jiho off-guard.

Jiho’s expression turned sheepish. “Would you believe me if I said I was getting things ready for you?”

“By destroying my room?” Jaehyo didn’t even try to hide his confusion. “Didn’t you do this once already?” Granted this mess didn’t look quite as destructive as last time but it was still the principle of the situation.

“It’s for when you turn,” Jiho replied. “I’m going to be in here and you’ll…” he looked to the door to his own room. Jaehyo understood immediately. Jiho wanted to swap their rooms, setting himself as a barrier while Jaehyo wasn’t quite in his right mind. The thought of putting Jiho in such a position tore at Jaehyo’s heart but he could understand why Jiho would think of doing it.

Taking a seat on his bed, Jaehyo watched the vampire go around the room. “Are you putting everything in here?” Jaehyo asked. It certainly looked that way. He had no idea how Jiho was going to fit all his clothes into the room. Jaehyo didn’t have nearly the same amount of storage space.

Jiho paused from where he was attempting to shove a jacket into a clearly already too full dresser drawer. “Everything I can,” he confirmed. “It’ll be better this way.”

Which as why Jiho was in here, doing this now. The fact that he was already in here, trying to get life for a vampire Jaehyo set up, sent butterflies fluttering through him. This was his future and it was soon. He knew Jiho had said he wouldn’t be able to wait years. Seeing his impatience was another thing entirely.

“Yukwon knows,” Jiho said as he pulled the jacket out and tried to shove a different one in. He wasn’t exactly having a successful time.

“You may have to find somewhere else to put those.” Jaehyo tried not to laugh. Jiho definitely liked clothes too much. He could never bring himself to get rid of any of them either. That was Jiho though. He had a big heart and held on to things far longer than he should.

Which could be a problem for them one day. Jaehyo wanted to believe in the best. He wanted to believe that he’d be like Jiho. He just couldn’t help but fear for the worst. And Yukwon...Jaehyo was glad he wouldn’t have tell him. However Yukwon could be a problem too. Jaehyo knew him, knew how he could cling and hold on. The two of them were so stubborn and it was scary. What would happen to them if Jaehyo didn’t come back?

“Probably,” Jiho admitted. He turned and looked at Jaehyo. “Are you mad I told him?”

Jaehyo shrugged. “I’m okay with it. He means a lot to you too.” After all, if Yukwon was basically Jaehyo’s child that meant he was also Jiho’s. It hadn’t just been Jaehyo who had taken in the boy after all. “Besides, I wasn’t sure how I’d tell him about the madness part.”

“He wants me to wait.” Jiho came over and laid on the bed, stretching out. He took up a good portion of the bed. “He said he wanted one last birthday with you.”

That was entirely too sweet. “Then we’ll wait,” Jaehyo said. April really wasn’t that far away anyways. It was just enough to give Jaehyo time to get his things in order without giving him enough time to think, regret, and run away. He needed to figure out what to do if he didn’t come back. He wasn’t going to spend the rest of eternity as a crazy monster.

The fact that Jaehyo was essentially contemplating a hit on himself should have freaked him out. Instead, Jaehyo found himself oddly calm about it. This was something he just knew he needed to do. And he’d need to explain why he’d come to this decision. To everyone but especially Jiho and Yukwon.

“I think summer would be a good time,” Jiho agreed. “It’s a fun time of year.” Meaning everyone would be distracted, would go out into the night for all kinds of activities. And Jiho was stuck inside longer.

“Will I be like you during the day?” Jaehyo asked, laying down as well. If he was dead longer, it meant he would be less dangerous to the humans. That would be good, right?

Jiho nodded but not without hesitating for a moment first. Jaehyo chose to believe that the hesitation came from long almost forgotten memories. “I’ll be here too,” Jiho said. He reached over to brush the bangs away from Jaehyo’s eyes. “I will always be here.”

“What led to you being turned?” Jaehyo asked. It had never felt like his place to ask before but with his own turning in the near future, he felt like he need to know.

He could tell Jiho was thinking about it, about what he’d tell Jaehyo. That was find. Jiho didn’t have to tell him anything if he didn’t want to. There were still things Jaehyo didn’t want to talk about.

“My brother,” Jiho said after a long silence. “He started on this path first and I followed him.” There was pain in his voice but for once, it didn’t sound like it might be overwhelming Jiho. “That’s how we were. He’d do something and then I would do it too.”

Jaehyo could just picture it. A young Jiho following his big brother around. No doubt he’d followed his brother, trying to help him with his chores. Trying to get his brother to play with him. A pang of loss hit Jaehyo as he vaguely remembered doing the same with own big brother. He couldn’t even remember what the guy looked like now which hurt. Jaehyo tried not to think about his own family but there were times, like now, where it was just unavoidable.

“It was just us and mom.” Jiho touched his chest where he had a tattoo of the woman. Jaehyo remembered when the vampire had gotten it. A long time ago, Jiho had drawn her image. As the paper grew old with age, he’d re-drawn it. And then several years ago, probably a decade or so back, he’d taken it to a tattoo artist. It didn’t bother Jaehyo even though it was unavoidable when he saw Jiho’s bare chest. It was something that connected Jiho to his family, a way to remember them. It was more than Jaehyo had.

Jaehyo had heard this all before. About how Jiho had grown up in a household where they’d struggled to get by. It’d just been the three of them, Jiho and his brother and his mother. He’d had a father too but he’d spent all his time in far off lands. He’d been a merchant or something similar that had required travel but somehow the money never seemed to quite reach the family which led to Jiho’s mother working almost constantly. It’d been a hard life but that had been the story for nearly everyone. Jaehyo couldn’t say his own was much different. He’d had both parents but they’d struggled. Up until the day Jaehyo left, his family receiving more than they’d ever had before in exchange for their loss. For sending him away.

“Hyung met him first.” Jiho gave a little laugh. “She always let him do more than me.” Not that Jaehyo blamed her. Over the years, he’d put together a vague picture that hinted at Jiho being a sickly child. His mother had probably been praying that he’d even survive when it was so easy to die.

“Mom didn’t like it at first,” Jiho continued. “He was a foreigner and she was afraid he’d end up taking Hyung with him. She already had to deal with Father being gone. But he stayed and Hyung stayed so she became okay with it. At first, he would pay Hyung to do little errands for him. Nothing much, just deliveries. Mom let me tag along.”

Jaehyo shifted, laying his head on Jiho’s chest. He closed his eyes and listened. It didn’t feel like it was his place to speak. He was afraid to interrupt, that if he said anything that it would break the spell.

“After a few months of this, he offered to take us in. That a few of his servants had left and that our family were welcome to join his household. We would have our own room and wouldn’t need to worry about food. We’d be paid a little which Mom...she was relieved about that since there were debts.” No doubt the situation had felt like fate. Jaehyo couldn’t help but notice that there was a certain sort of parallel to what Jiho and himself had done over the years. How many times had they met a struggling boy and invited him in, offering a place to stay in exchange for his blood.

“So you went,” Jaehyo said, already jumping to what he knew was the end.

He could feel Jiho nod. “We did. My maker...he liked us. He thought our family was interesting. He was obsessed with families.” An arm snaked its way around Jaehyo, holding him. “We were there for years. He wasn’t kind but by then, it was the only life we knew. It didn’t seem like there was a way out.”

“And then he offered Hyung the opportunity to become like him.”

Jiho didn’t speak for a long time. Jaehyo almost opened his eyes, almost shifted so he could hold Jiho but something in him said to not do it. So he stayed how he was, letting Jiho hold him close instead.

“I wanted to be turned too. I begged but he told me to wait. The longer Hyung was mad, the longer the wait seemed to become.” It was clear there was more to the story but Jiho didn’t offer any more. Jaehyo understood. Sometimes telling the whole story was impossible. It was easier to tell it in pieces when each moment felt ready to be told.

\---

Holy...Kyung flipped his phone over, hiding the screen from view. Minhyuk had sent a photo of himself. There was nothing wrong or obscene about it. The guy just looked good. He must have been in front of a mirror because his phone covered about a quarter of his face. He wasn’t smiling. Just sitting there, a casual look on his face. A blue and white button-up was visible and the top button was undone. It was that glimpse of skin there that had really caught Kyung’s attention.

“Everything okay?” Zico asked, his warm voice filling the studio.

Kyung swallowed hard. As if having Zico here helped him any. But then, they were working on a song. For some reason, it was heading into a sad place. It felt strange to be working on something sad but they beat had taken them there.

He realized Zico was staring at him, waiting for a response. “It’s fine,” Kyung said. He didn’t want to tell Zico about Minhyuk. He didn’t want Zico to know. It was probably selfish of him but Kyung wasn’t willing to close that door just yet. He might be willing to give Minhyuk a chance but his heart wasn’t quite ready to let go of Zico just yet.

Zico waited for a moment then nodded and turned back to his computer. Pressing play, the song started to play, filling the room all around them. This was one of the nice things about Zico. He didn’t press, didn’t ask questions. He just accepted what Kyung said at face value, trusted Kyung’s word on things and didn’t leave Kyung second-guessing himself. Kyung knew he should be paying attention to the song. They were stuck on what the hook should be. Instead, Kyung found himself staring at Zico.

His head was bobbing to the beat. He was quietly mouthing the lyrics they’d written so far. Zico was clearly lost in the song already, lost in his own world. He was so handsome in that moment. It hurt to see him and yet Kyung couldn’t help himself. He scooted his chair closer.

Kyung reached over to grab a pen. The fact that this let him accidentally brush his hand against Zico’s had nothing to do with it. Just like the butterflies in his stomach meant nothing. Nothing, nothing at all.

Then why did he feel so guilty when his phone buzzed in his hand?

It was Minhyuk again, asking if he was busy.

“Be right back,” Kyung said. Taking his phone, he headed upstairs to his room. He didn’t want Zico to hear this. Didn’t want Zico to know that there was someone in Kyung’s life so the distance felt necessary.

“I’m here,” he said when Minhyuk picked up.

“What’d you think of the picture?” There was a sheepish tone to Minhyuk’s voice. It was cute. Kyung grinned, imagining the sort of expression that must be on the guy’s face right now.

“It’s a good good picture,” Kyung admitted. “It got my attention.”

Minhyuk chuckled, sending a fluttering of warmth through Kyung. “I was hoping it might.” There was a pause before he added, “you could always send one back.”

Heat blazed across Kyung’s face as he took in the words. He hadn’t even thought of sending one back. Still, there was no harm in sending just one. Taking a moment to fix his hair, Kyung snapped a few until he thought he had one that was actually decent.

Minhyuk saw it immediately. The little ‘1’ disappeared right away which sent its own sort of nervous thrill through Kyung.

_You really have no idea how handsome you are when you do that_

The message came almost instantly. Kyung sat on his bed, needing a moment. He didn’t realize Minhyuk could leave him feeling weak with just a few words.

_You’re the good looking one_

Kyung waited with bated breath for Minhyuk’s response. He wasn’t disappointed. Another picture came through. This time, Minhyuk had undone the rest of his buttons. His shirt hung open, revealing a toned chest. Some of his smooth skin showed but everything else was still covered by the shirt.

Kyung had not been expecting that that. He’d always known, had figured as much. But to see with his own eyes, even in a picture, was something else entirely. He had the urge to touch, to see if Minhyuk felt as smooth as he looked. He didn’t know what to respond with. How did he respond to that?

_You’re trying to make me think bad thoughts_

Kyung knew it would probably encourage Minhyuk. He was not opposed to the idea though. Minhyuk had a way of getting Kyung to forget about everything else.

_Are they really that bad? Maybe you should share and let me judge then_

Kyung bit his lip. He did not need this right now. He blushed as he typed back his response.

_It’s embarrassing_

Minhyuk sent back a string of laughter.

_Just tell me_ Minhyuk urged.

Kyung sighed.

_I want to know how it’d feel to touch you_

He set his phone down, too embarrassed to see Minhyuk’s response. Except it was killing him and he had to look. He had to know what Minhyuk thought of that even if it was embarrassing.

_You can touch any time you’d like_

Those words shot straight to Kyung’s dick. He wanted to touch himself. Just a few words and he felt like he was teenager, getting horny over nothing all over again. A moment of boldness struck him. He snapped a picture of the bulge that had formed in his pants and sent it before he could second-guess himself.

Minhyuk didn’t reply right away. Kyung took that as a compliment. It was the only way to keep himself from having a panic attack. The guy didn’t send a text back. Instead, Kyung found himself staring at another picture.

If he hadn’t been hard before, he definitely would be now. Minhyuk had lost his shirt. Pure, unblemished skin that made Kyung want to touch grabbed his attention. How would Minhyuk feel? Would he be soft? But the guy had some muscle so maybe he wouldn’t be that soft. Kyung let his eyes trail over the man in the picture, wondering if he’d get to see him like this in person one day. Then Kyung noticed the visible bulge in Minhyuk’s own pants.

This was new territory for Kyung. He’d watched porn before. He was a normal, healthy young man after all. This was different. It wasn’t just Kyung reacting to something he was watching. No, this time there was someone else on the other end who was getting all hot and bothered because of Kyung. He was responding to Kyung. And this was okay. This was fine and Kyung realized for the first time that he could realistically have Minhyuk if he wanted him.

_You should do something about that bulge_

Kyung loosened his pants, ready to take care of his own.

_Probably_

Minhyuk sent another picture. He had a hand down his pants in this one. Something was catching the light, sparkling. Sweat? Holy fuck, he was sweating. How did someone so handsome like him, want him? Was turned on by him.

It was the sweat that did it for Kyung. He had to kick off his pants, freeing himself from his underwear.

_Dealing with my own situation here_

Kyung sent the picture of himself, of him holding his own hard dick, to Minhyuk. As soon as he did, he regretted it. Were they dating? They’d gone on a date and they flirted with each other but had they actually made that leap into dating? And he’d sent Minhyuk his dick.

Grabbing a dirty t-shirt to clean himself up, Kyung tried to calm his racing heart. He couldn’t believe himself, that he’d just jerked off to the idea of Minhyuk. He was supposed to be working with Zico but he’d abandoned him for Minhyuk. And then he’d sent Minhyuk his dick. How in the world was Kyung supposed to go back in there and face Zico now?

“Everything okay?” Zico asked when Kyung re-entered the studio. He paused the melody that was playing, a curious and concerned look on his face. “You were gone for a while.”

Even more guilt hit Kyung. How could he get so excited about Minhyuk but then return here like nothing had happened? What would it be like to see Zico that way? How would he feel under Kyung’s fingertips? What would make Zico respond like Minhyuk had?

How could he like them both?


	17. if it's you, it's cool

It was funny how years and years ago, Jiho had never imagined he’d be thinking about this. When he first left his maker’s household, he’d sworn that he wouldn’t live that way. That he wouldn’t keep a stable of humans, ready to be consumed as he wished. He hadn’t understood it back then. All he’d seen in those days was cruelty as each human wondered who among them would be the next one to suffer the vampire’s bite.

Maybe it was own experiences but Jiho had always tried to make his own feedings as painless as possible. He didn’t let himself feed often off of Jaehyo. He hated to hurt him. It still surprised Jiho that Jaehyo had stuck by him for so long. It had been a few decades now and still Jaehyo stayed.

Taewoon hadn’t stayed.

Jiho squashed the thought. Now was not the time to think about him. Especially now.

Jaehyo was grinning. It was a bright smile that lit up his whole face. When he saw it, Jiho couldn’t help but smile too. He never tired of seeing Jaehyo so happy. The man was a genuinely good person. Whenever Jiho was around him, he felt like he might not be a monster after all.

People surrounded them. A festival of some sort was going on but Jiho wasn’t quite sure what it was for. It had been Jaehyo’s idea but Jiho was glad they’d come. He rarely got to do fun things like this with Jaehyo. They always had to be so careful. Jiho, and more importantly what Jiho was, put them at risk.

He hated that he made Jaehyo’s life unsafe. That being with him, around him, put Jaehyo in danger. There was a way that should make life safer for them, for Jaehyo. It was just a life that Jiho had never thought he’d return to.

Jaehyo was getting a snack from a nearby vendor. He was talking, all his gestures and his voice showing his enthusiasm for being here. He looked so happy, so carefree.

How in the world was he going to propose his idea? It would mean an entire lifestyle change for them. Not that that was a bad thing. After all, it should keep Jaehyo safer in the long run. And Jiho really hoped that Jaehyo would stay for a long, long time.

“You’re quiet tonight,” Jaehyo said as they continued to wander through the streets. “Is everything okay?”

Jiho nodded. “I’m okay. It’s just odd to see so many people out.” Normally when Jiho walked the night streets, there were far less humans around and they were far more guarded. It would be so easy to feed right now except there were eyes everywhere.

“I didn’t realize…” Jaehyo’s voice trailed off as he looked at the crowd around them. “Sorry.”

Jiho shook his head. “No, I’m glad.” After all, it let him see Jaehyo relax and be a normal human for once. “It’s good to get out.”

He always felt so guilty about their situation. Thanks to Jiho’s whole condition, they were usually forced into small, underground spaces that were almost always cold. He worried about Jaehyo’s health, that one day this life would make him ill.

Jaehyo was watching a family. Parents and four children. One of the kids, a girl, was riding on her father’s shoulders. The mother held an infant while the older children, a boy and a girl, ran over to various stalls, laughing and playing as they went. It was such a normal, everyday scene. And Jaehyo was absolutely transfixed by them. He was smiling and had tears in his eyes at the same time.

If they’d never met, if Jaehyo had lived a normal human life, he would be a grandfather by now. Jiho could just see it. Jaehyo would be a amazing grandfather. He was kind and patient. His family would be just like him, loving and full of good hearts. They’d respect and honor Jaehyo. How could they not? And by inviting Jaehyo into his life, Jiho had taken all that away from him.

Jiho wanted to, wish, he could feel guilty about that. He was selfish though. He loved that he had Jaehyo all to himself, that he didn’t have to share.

“Do you ever regret that your life didn’t end up like theirs?” Jiho asked, gesturing towards the family.

Jaehyo’s gaze lingered on them. He was almost able to hide his emotions but he was a few moments too slow. That flash of pure emotion told Jiho everything. And now he did feel a little guilt.

“Do you?” Jaehyo asked.

This wasn’t the life Jiho had imagined when he was a child. He always pictured a normal life but that hadn’t been his fate. Now that he was living this, Jiho couldn’t imagine any other life.

“No,” Jiho answered honestly.

He really didn’t. His life wasn’t normal. That was okay. If he lived a normal life, he wouldn’t be here. Wouldn’t have met Jaehyo.

“Then I don't either.” Jaehyo smiled but it wasn't able to fully mask the sadness in his eyes. He turned to watch the crowd. “A family would have been nice but it's not everything.”

This was the perfect moment to share the idea buzzing in his head. And yet, Jiho couldn't say the words. Then he saw a small frown slip on Jaehyo's face. It was only for a brief moment but it didn't escape Jiho.

“I want to settle somewhere,” he said. Jaehyo turned, eyes wide in surprise. “A house with many humans, not just you.”

Pain entered the human's eyes. Jiho knew that he wasn't fond of sharing. That was one of the many things Jiho loved in this human. No one else had ever been that possessive of him before. “Enough humans where I wouldn't have to go looking each night.”

He could see the understanding as it hit Jaehyo. Slowly a small smile appeared, growing as he realized just what Jiho was suggesting. There would still be some sharing. That was just a fact of life. Jiho's rather special diet required he have many humans.

“No more wondering if you'll get caught,” Jaehyo murmured. “How many people?”

The man who had turned Jiho had kept a small household of humans. They'd varied in number from as a few as four all the way up to ten. He hadn't been the kindest man and he'd had a fondness for making children. The fewer humans they'd had, the more they suffered. More people meant more to share the burden with and things would get better. Until the man tried to make himself another child.

Except that wouldn't be an issue. Jiho didn't, wouldn't, want children. He wouldn't be so cruel as to subject someone else to this life. 

“Counting you, I'd want at least seven others.” One for each day and a spare. It'd also give each human a full week between feedings, letting them have a chance to recover some.

“That,” Jaehyo paused as if he hadn't thought about what he wanted to say. “I could-” he stopped again, shaking his head. “That sounds better than you going out each night,” he admitted.

There was still reluctance in his voice. Jiho couldn't blame him. There were too many people here. He pulled, tugged, Jaehyo down a quieter street. There were still people here but not as many.

“You’ll be the only one in my bed,” he promised, pulling the man close. “The only one who will be allowed to demand me, my time. Anything.” This wouldn’t be like the house Jiho had been in. There wouldn’t be just one master. “It won’t be just mine. It would be yours too.”

Jaehyo was quiet, soaking it all in. Jiho let him. This wasn’t some decision to be rushed. Well they could but it was better to be honest now, to think it out.

“We would need a new place to live,” Jaehyo said. “The place now is too small.”

That was very true. They’d need rooms for the extra humans and a bigger living space in general. And someplace that would be private for just the two of them. After all, Jiho had promised Jaehyo a degree of exclusivity.

“You can pick it.” Jiho smiled reassuringly. He couldn’t exactly go looking around anyways. Besides, he trusted Jaehyo and there weren’t many people in his life Jiho had trusted this much.

\---

No messages. Jihoon sighed and closed Kakao. Staring at it wouldn’t make the guy message him. He knew this. Jihoon also knew that he could message the guy himself. It had been a week since that encounter. A week where Jihoon couldn’t stop thinking about his mysterious stranger.

He looked at his phone again. Still nothing.

Kyung looked up from his textbook. “Expecting a call?”

Jihoon shook his head. “No, not that.” He wasn’t exactly expecting anything. He just wanted to hear from Taeil. Right now, Jihoon felt like he was going crazy. He didn’t want to seem desperate though.

“You won’t stop looking at your phone,” Kyung pointed out. “What’s up?”

Better question: why did Kyung always seem to come out here to study? He never got anything done.

“I just keep looking to see if I got a message from someone.” Jihoon cursed at himself. The studying thing. He meant to ask about the studying thing.

“Met someone? Or something else?” Kyung had a look of genuine curiosity on his face. Something about that is what made Jihoon decide to trust Kyung. Besides, if there was anyone in this place who might be able to relate, to understand, it would be Kyung.

“I met someone.” Jihoon felt a flutter of nerves hit him. It made it all feel more real saying, admitting, it to someone else.. Until now, he could almost believe that it was all in his head. That Taeil and his mouth had been a drunk hallucination.

“Girl or guy?” Kyung asked.

“Guy…” Jihoon could feel the heat on his cheeks as he admitted that. He didn’t know why he was getting so embarrassed either. Kyung had a boyfriend. He wouldn’t care. “All I know is his name.” And that he had an amazing mouth. Jihoon wasn’t an idiot though. He wasn’t going to share that little tidbit with anyone.

“And you’re waiting for him to contact you?” Kyung asked. He didn’t wait for a response. “You know could always contact him yourself.”

Easy for Kyung to say. He was the one with a boyfriend. He didn’t have to deal with all the nervous jitters that came with meeting someone new. Besides, what would Jihoon say?

‘Oh hey, remember that time we met and fucked? Want to go on a date to get to know each other?’

No. There was no way Jihoon could send something like that. Not without dying anyways. “I could,” Jihoon admitted. “But I want to be look desperate.”

“Did he leave any indication that he wanted to meet again?”

Jihoon didn’t know how to answer that. So he unlocked his phone, pulled up the chat, and handed it over to Kyung. There was a quiet moment as Kyung read the single message. Jihoon turned away, not wanting to see the guy’s reaction. And then he looked because he had to know Kyung’s reaction.

“He seems interested,” Kyung said. “How’d you meet?”

“At a bar,” Jihoon replied. “We drank and talked.” And went to a love motel. He definitely didn’t add that last part in.

“And he blew you.” Kyung grinned. “I can read between the lines.”

Crap. “That obvious?”

Kyung nodded. “So you’re interested in this guy?” Kyung asked, staring at the phone screen.

“Maybe?” Jihoon couldn’t get his mind off the guy.

“Here.” Kyung handed the phone back. Jihoon took it and stared.

_Same place as last time?_

“Why’d you do that?” Jihoon asked, trying to keep the panic at bay.

Kyung shrugged. “You weren’t going to do it.”

This was a nightmare. Kyung was a nightmare.

And the guy, Taeil, had read the message. The little yellow ‘one’ had vanished already.

_Bar or motel?_

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

_I could be at the motel in 20 minutes_

How in the world was Jihoon supposed to respond to that?

_Okay_

Because he didn’t know what else to say. Besides, Jihoon felt like he was going to shake apart. Was this really real? He was crazy and yet he couldn’t wait to get to that motel. He wanted to see Taeil again.

“Get some good news?” Kyung asked.

He’d completely forgotten Kyung was even in the room. “He wants to meet now,” Jihoon said. He left out all the details but it wasn’t like Kyung needed to know.

Kyung grinned. “So you’re not going to be back tonight.”

Jihoon definitely did not know how to respond to that. So he didn’t. He stood up, heading towards the door. If he hurried, he would be able to just make it. There wasn’t time to change so hopefully Taeil wouldn’t mind that he wasn’t all dressed up. But he’d just be able to make the next train if he hurried.

He was late. Jihoon hadn’t caught the train and had been forced to wait. Sure it had only been ten minutes but still that was ten minutes too many. Thankfully it looked like Taeil was running late too. Jihoon didn’t see the guy and his distinctive pink hair anywhere.

A motorcycle drove by, parking down the street. Jihoon almost didn’t notice the driver until the guy pulled off his helmet. That pink hair was hard to miss. The driver made a beeline for Jihoon.

“I got a room for three hours,” Jihoon said, keeping his voice low. It had seemed like a good amount of time. Long enough to have fun but not long enough to let them linger. For the awkward to set in.

The room was okay. There wasn’t anything special about it except that Taeil was in it.

Taeil who was unzipping the gray hoodie Jihoon had thrown on as he walked out the door. They’d barely made it in and Taeil already had him pushed against the door.

Jihoon took the chance and ran his hands over the shorter man, taking the opportunity to push Taeil’s jacket off. It landed on the ground with a satisfying thud.

He had to bend down in order to kiss Taeil. Guy was seriously short. Too short. But his size only made the situation amusing. Fingers were fumbling with the buttons on Jihoon’s shirt. Internally, Jihoon started cursing at himself for wearing layers.

He pushed Taeil, trying to get the man to go towards the bed. For a moment, Taeil resisted. Then he seemed to understand where Jihoon wanted to go. Along the way, Jihoon lost his shirt.

Taeil sank into the bed first this time. He pulled Jihoon onto him. A hand on the back of his neck led Jihoon back to a kiss. Just like with their very first kiss, a fire consumed Jihoon. He wanted, needed, more.

He let his own hands wander, enjoying the shivers that shook Taeil whenever Jihoon’s fingers found flesh. Each time, a feeling of power went through him. He wanted to hear, to see, more. Taeil’s hands seemed to be just as curious as the hungrily roamed Jihoon, looking for all his own weaknesses.

He needed to breathe. With reluctance, Jihoon broke the kiss. His lungs were screaming for air. He rolled over to lay next to Taeil, trying to get his head back. Hands tugged at Jihoon’s undershirt.

“You wear too many layers,” Taeil growled in annoyance. “Next time, ditch them first.”

Jihoon’s heart jumped to his throat. Next time. Taeil wanted a next time, saw this becoming a thing. That was a good sign. That was promising. Right?

“Nope, not going to happen,” Jihoon answered. “You have to unwrap me.”

What. Did he really just say that?

A hand moved south, cupping Jihoon through his pants. “Only if you wrap this up like a present too.”

Holy fuck. Jihoon blushed hard at that. “I’m serious,” Taeil said. “Less clothes or I’m going to expect to see a bow on your dick.”

“How do I even do that?” Jihoon had to ask.

Taeil shrugged. “You can figure it out.” He leaned over, running his fingers across Jihoon’s bare skin. The touch was so soft and light and made Jihoon want to melt under it. “How old are you, anyways?”

Jihoon didn’t want to answer that. The way Taeil asked it made him sound like he was far older. If Taeil was older, would Jihoon’s own age scare him off? He chose to kiss Taeil’s neck instead, trying to avoid the bat there as best as he could. Jihoon knew he hit jackpot when he heard a deep moan come from the small man.

He wasn’t sure how sure how they got here but Jihoon felt his heart race as the sight in front of him. Somehow they’d both lost their clothes and he had Taeil on top of him, riding him.

The sight was amazing. Sweat dripped off the man, making his tattoos sparkle. Taeil’s head was thrown back as he rode Jihoon harder and harder as if he drove Jihoon deeper and deeper into him. It was working too because it was getting harder for Jihoon to see straight. He knew he was close. He opened his mouth to warn Taeil but all that came out was a loud, deep moan. It seemed to echo around the room. Jihoon would have been embarrassing except he didn’t care.

It was hard to care about anything at the moment.*

Taeil was still there when Jihoon got out of the shower. That was a better sign than last time. Jihoon didn’t know what he should do. The clock said they still had about 30 minutes left before they had to leave. Would it be awkward to leave together?

That fear made up Jihoon’s mind for him. He left. But he wasn’t running away. He was giving Taeil some space. He was trying to keep things from becoming weird between them. At least, that’s what Jihoon told himself. He almost believed it too.


	18. but if i cause some trouble right now, that’ll be nice timing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday Yukwon!

Jaehyo couldn’t break free. He was caught, trapped by the man who held his wrist. He was shorter than Jaehyo but the power surrounding him said to not fight him. The look he was giving Jaehyo as he stared was curious which should have made Jaehyo feel better but it didn’t.

“Now who are you? You’re not from this time,” the stranger said. His voice was pleasant to listen to and he didn’t sound angry but it still sent shivers down Jaehyo’s spine. He spotted a glimpse of fangs in the stranger’s mouth and understood in an instant. Vampire. Not Jiho but a different one. The stranger’s eyes lingered just long enough on Jaehyo’s neck, on the bite scar there, that they both understood.

“There’s another of my kind here.” The way the vampire spoke, the cruel amusement in his voice, was terrifying even though his words gave no reason to be afraid. “Tell me.”

Fear almost got him. This vampire’s aura was unlike any other. No being, human or otherwise, had ever scared Jaehyo like this. No one had ever made Jaehyo feel this weak or small which was funny because he felt like he was towering over the vampire. There was just something about this vampire that was overwhelming. He didn’t look it but he was strong, powerful. His everything screamed that he he could crush Jaehyo in an instant and that it wouldn’t even affect this vampire.

There was an ethereal beauty surrounding the vampire. He was clearly male but at the same time, it wouldn’t take much for that line to begin blurring. Where Jiho was tall, this one was shorter. He was lean and pale with a grace that was haunting. Nothing about him seemed human and the longer Jaehyo was near the man, the more he noticed. Except those eyes. Those eyes were too human in the wrong sort of way.

“Jae-” Jiho’s voice, full of worry, cut off as he noticed the vampire who’d caught Jaehyo.

The vampire grinned. It was wicked, promising to do cruel things. Jaehyo wished he could speak. He wanted to tell Jiho to run. They both didn’t need to be caught by whoever this was.

“I didn’t know I had a little brother,” the vampire said, turning to face Jiho. The motion pulled Jaehyo, wrenching his arm into a painful position. Jaehyo didn’t cry out but he knew the pain showed on his face. Jiho took a step forward, concern clear on his face. Jaehyo gritted his teeth and shook his head.

_Stay back._

He hoped Jiho understood. He needed Jiho to get away, to stay safe. To live.

“Little brother?” Jiho asked, clearly trying to stay calm, to bluff his way into confidence. It hurt to watch but at the same time, Jaehyo was proud that Jiho was trying to control himself. Jiho trained his gaze onto the other vampire.

The guy nodded. “Use your nose,” he said, tapping his own with his free hand. “Our maker is the same.”

As terrified as Jaehyo was at the moment, that one piece of information intrigued him. He still didn’t know much about Jiho’s past. So that there was another, one from the same maker, felt like big news.

Jiho slowly nodded. His face grew wary and guarded. It broke Jaehyo’s heart in a way. He didn’t like that look on Jiho’s face but he understood why it was there.

“I see you’ve got yourself a human.” The vampire pulled Jaehyo forward, yanking hard enough that he couldn’t help it when he yelped in pain. Jiho took a few steps forward before he paused to look at Jaehyo.

_Stay back._

“Let him go,” Jiho growled. His voice was deep and dangerous, chilling Jaehyo to his core. Normally that voice didn’t scare him but then, normally Jiho didn’t have murder in his eyes. The only saving grace was that Jaehyo knew he would be perfectly safe when it came to Jiho, that the look and the voice were not directed towards himself.

Jaehyo found himself being pulled closer to the strange vampire. “Just let me have a little taste,” he said. It was phrased like a request but they all clearly heard it for the threat it was. “He’s old, isn’t he?”

Jaehyo tried to pull away but it was clear that he couldn’t break the vampire’s grip. He was sure he’d break his arm before he ever got himself free. He really didn’t want anyone feeding off him though. Well, anyone other than Jiho.

“Let. Go.” Jiho’s eyes were dark. They were always dark but it was different now. Gone was the familiar, comforting warmth that Jaehyo could drown in. The playful light that gave Jaehyo joy was gone too. Now they were just a chilling black, darker than the night sky and deeper than the black ocean. The softness that Jaehyo was used to seeing was gone. Instead, a Jiho that could almost resemble a monster was standing there with his fangs bared.

And yet, Jaehyo still wasn’t scared of him. This was the closest he’d ever seen Jiho look like a monster but Jaehyo knew he would be completely safe. At least, safe from Jiho. Glancing at the vampire who still held his arm, Jaehyo knew he was in more danger from this monster.

“He smells delicious,” the vampire said. He used his free hand to pull Jaehyo’s head closer. Jaehyo wanted to fight but he was scared to. It would take nothing for this vampire to snap his neck and end everything. And if he did fight, would that end up provoking Jiho? He didn’t want Jiho to rush in, for him to get hurt or worse.

There was no breath on Jaehyo’s neck which was disconcerting. Jaehyo knew vampires didn’t need to breathe but he was used to Jiho who had kept the habit. “You’ve kept this one for awhile, little brother.”

Jiho growled. It was low and deep, rumbling through Jaehyo. He felt goosebumps raise on his arms. The sound was like something a feral animal would make. A snarl had formed on Jiho’s face and his anger, primal and animalistic, was clear. He almost didn’t look like Jiho.

_Stay back._

A cold chuckle came from the vampire who held Jaehyo. “Oh relax, little one,” he said. “I won’t taste your toy.”

Red anger blazed across Jaehyo’s vision. He wasn’t anyone’s toy. Not now, not ever. He’d rather die. The vampire holding him must have noticed the shift in Jaehyo because he let go of Jaehyo’s neck. He still had an iron grip on Jaehyo’s wrist though. It felt like a shackle.

“I have my own,” the vampire continued. “Daesung, you can come out.”

A young looking man stepped out from the shadows. Jaehyo jumped in surprise. He hadn’t noticed anyone there before but then, he had been rather distracted. The man was handsome. Or at least, he seemed handsome. It was hard to tell since half his face was covered in hair. He was slim and tall, well, taller than his vampire. He was shorter than Jiho. And as Jaehyo looked at him, he realized the guy was like him. There was nothing about him that obviously read as him being as old as Jaehyo but there was something about him that told Jaehyo this man was old.

He’d never met another human who was as old as himself. This guy might even be older than Jaehyo himself. The vampire was certainly older than Jiho.

“My servant Daesung,” the vampire introduced the human.

Daesung looked around and sighed. “You always know how to get into trouble,” he said. He had a fun and pleasant voice, one that no doubt put people at ease. Somehow Jaehyo got the feeling that this was the guy’s general personality.

“I had to meet our family,” the vampire answered. “Especially since my dear little brother was hunting in my territory.”

That was news. “Your territory?” Jaehyo repeated, finally finding his voice. He looked to Jiho, hoping to see sanity in his expression. There were traces of it. A primal, feral edge clung to Jiho still but Jaehyo had a feeling that would stay until they were both safely away from this whole thing.

“The mouse has a voice.” There was delight in the vampire’s voice. “Yes, my mouse, you were in my territory. I don’t appreciate others stepping into my territory.”

“And if we left?” Jaehyo asked, keeping his eyes trained on Jiho. He kept repeated the words _stay back_ over and over in his head, wanting Jiho to at least be safe.

The vampire laughed. “This whole city is mine, little mouse.”

“They’ve obviously been here for awhile,” Daesung spoke up. “I’m sure we could work out some sort of compromise.” Jaehyo liked this guy.

“They can leave.” The vampire squeezed Jaehyo’s wrist. Fire burned and the ache he’d been feeling grew worse. Something was definitely wrong with it but now was not the time to figure out what.

“We’re not leaving,” Jiho replied. “There’s more than enough humans here for both of us.”

It was relief to hear Jiho speak, to say words. Jaehyo took it as a sign that Jiho was back to himself. That was good for all of them.

“He’s right,” Daesung agreed. “You’ve been been here for years without having any problems.” He smiled. It was bright, cheerful smile that made Jaehyo relax for an instant. “You rarely hunt now anyways.”

“They put us at risk.” The vampire was giving his own human a look that Jaehyo couldn’t read.

“Maybe not.” Jaehyo didn’t know why he was saying this but he felt like he should. “We’re putting together a household.”

Daesung started nodding enthusiastically. “See? Soon neither of you will be hunting.” As soon as he said that, Jaehyo knew it’d been the right thing to say. Daesung stepped closer until his hands were on top of the vampire’s. Jaehyo could feel the other human gently pulling at the hand gripping Jaehyo’s wrist.

He flashed Jaehyo a smile. “And we,” he continued, “can make sure there is never another meeting like this. We can do that, can’t we?”

Jaehyo nodded. He didn’t know how they’d do that but he would do anything he could to keep another encounter like this from happening again. The vampire’s grip, the iron shackle that had bound Jaehyo in place, finally released Jaehyo. On instinct, he held his arm to his chest but he was too afraid to move just yet. He felt like if he moved, it would trigger the vampire’s predatory instincts.

“I’ll consider it,” the vampire said.

Jaehyo felt a little push on his back. He realized it was Daesung urging Jaehyo to go towards Jiho. Not that Jaehyo needed any encouragement. He all but ran to where Jiho stood, finding comfort in being away from the other vampire.

“That’s a yes.” Daesung pushed his hair away from his face, showing a big cheery grin that took over even his eyes. “Let’s meet here in 3 days,” he said, looking at Jaehyo. “Midday when the sun’s up.”

Which meant no vampires would be around. Jaehyo nodded his agreement. He could do that. He felt like he might have to in order to protect himself and Jiho in their future.

Still, Jaehyo didn’t relax until the two of them were in their home. It was nothing grand or fancy. Just a small house with two extra rooms meant for the extra humans they were searching for.

Jiho reached for the wrist Jaehyo still held to his chest. He couldn’t help it. He hissed in pain.

“I don’t like you meeting him,” Jiho said as he gently examined the injured arm. “It could be a trap.”

“I think it’s the only way we can stay.” Jaehyo wasn’t going to argue Jiho’s points. He wasn’t exactly thrilled with the situation either.

“You’re probably right.” Jiho frowned. “It doesn’t feel broken.”

It hurt so much though. Jaehyo wasn’t sure how much he’d trust his arm right now. “There’s more than just bruising.”

Jiho nodded. “Do you want it healed?”

It would definitely be nice to not have an obvious weakness, especially if he were to meet that other human in 3 days. Being at full strength and health would be a plus. Jaehyo nodded He still winced as he watched Jiho bite himself, drawing black blood. It never stopped surprising Jaehyo. Most of the time, it was easy to forget that Jiho was technically dead, reanimated by a magic that Jaehyo didn’t understand. Magic that lived in the dead, black blood Jiho was offering him.

This was the secret to Jaehyo’s youth. The magic that kept Jiho undead, in this not quite dead but not yet fully alive state, was able to keep Jaehyo young too. He wasn’t a vampire but he whenever he received this gift, he was also getting a small dose of the magic that kept Jiho alive and young. Jaehyo didn’t understand it and he’d stopped trying to understand it a long time ago. Life was simpler that way.

Jiho’s blood was cool on Jaehyo’s lips. The metallic taste of Jaehyo’s own blood was missing. Jiho’s blood just tasted cool. It was an odd experience, one that Jaehyo had never gotten used to. He didn’t think he ever would.

The pain in his wrist began to fade. After a few moments, it was gone. Jaehyo’s head buzzed as his body tried to handle the magic. This was always the worst part of taking some of Jiho’s blood. He wasn’t a vampire and Jaehyo’s body never knew what to do with the magic, especially after it had already healed any injuries Jaehyo had.

He felt like he had to be getting used to it though because the buzzing kept fading away sooner and sooner each time after he took blood from Jiho.

“I didn’t know there were others like you.” Jaehyo flexed his arm, testing his newly healed wrist. There was still a faint soreness but it was the sort that would fade soon enough.

“I suspected but didn’t know for certain,” Jiho admitted. “I wasn’t the first one my maker made.”

Obviously. “He was so strong,” Jaehyo said, unable to keep from shivering in memory of that other vampire.

Jiho looked away. Shame rolled off him. “I didn’t think you were going to come out of that alive.” His voice was barely more than a whisper.

“That makes two of us,” Jaehyo answered. He reached and pulled Jiho close to him. “I was hoping you wouldn’t do anything rash and get yourself killed too.”

Jiho looked at him, surprise on his face. “I know,” he said softly. “I...it was like I could hear you.” He tapped his head. “Your...not your voice but I knew it was you.”

That was new. Strange. Jaehyo definitely hadn’t heard anything similar from Jiho. Was it a sign that they just knew each other that well or something else? Logic said they just knew each other. After all, they’d been together for longer than a human should live. Jaehyo had lost track of the number of years but he knew he should be dead by now.

“Maybe this meeting will be a good thing.” Jaehyo smiled and let go of Jiho, heading towards the pot of stew he’d left on earlier. He was feeling hungry, almost starving now that his system was settling down. “I can meet that other human and we can figure out how to make this work.”

That guy, Daesung, had seemed far more reasonable. The thought of meeting him again didn’t sound that bad. Jaehyo poured himself a little bowl of soup. “He didn’t seem quite as bad.”

Jiho nodded. “I think he’d be at least open to listening.”

It would also be kind of nice to have another human to talk to. No one understood Jaehyo’s life. Not like Daesung might. There was no reason why or way he could know but Jaehyo got the feeling that Daesung was older than himself. There might be someone out there who understood just how lonely life with a vampire could be.

As much as Jaehyo loved his vampire, there were times when he felt lonely. He only had one person, Jiho. And Jiho spent his days as a lifeless corpse. There were times when Jaehyo felt so alone that he thought he might go crazy. When he wondered if he’d made the right choice to stay. It felt too late to leave now though. He had no one.

Besides, he didn’t want to leave. Jiho was the one who had changed his life. Even if he hadn’t fallen in love with Jiho, Jaehyo still felt like he owed him everything.

“You’ll be fine,” Jaehyo told himself. It was the morning of his meeting with Daesung. He glanced over to where Jiho laid. He almost looked asleep. “I’ll be okay,” he promised as he walked over to the bed. He kissed Jiho. For luck. For protection. To comfort himself. There were many reasons he could pick.

Daesung was waiting for him. “You came,” the man said, a bright smile on his face. “I wondered if you would. My...well, he can be…” the guy floundered, apparently struggling for words.

“He leaves an impression?” Jaehyo suggested. That was certainly one way to put it. He wanted to be kind though, at least for now.

Daesung laughed. It was a warm sound, one that Jaehyo relax despite himself. He liked this man even though he had an absolutely no reason to.

“He can do that.” Nodding towards Jaehyo’s arm, he asked, “are you okay?”

Should he answer that? Admitting a weakness could make Daesung sympathetic. Or it could give Daesung something he might think was an opening. “I was healed,” Jaehyo said. He decided it was better to show strength.

“Good.” Daesung pushed his hair back for a moment. It all flopped back onto his face anyways. “It’s so nice to meet another human like myself.”

Jaehyo couldn’t help himself. He laughed. “I know what you mean,” he admitted. “You’re the first one I’ve met who might have any chance of understanding my life.”

Daesung nodded. “I can imagine. I think I’d go crazy if I didn’t have the others.”

“The others?” Jaehyo repeated, saring. There were more?

Daesung nodded again. “There are four of us in our house.”

Four other humans. The world felt like it’d just grown exponentially larger.

“We’re what I think you are trying to do,” Daesung continued. “We have a house with a few humans who all serve one vampire master.”

Jaehyo nodded. “Yeah, that’s exactly it. It’s...he’s good at hunting but the dangers…”

“I understand. There’s a reason why mine made the change in lifestyle too,” Daesung agreed. “It gets easier with more humans. The more you have, the easier the burden becomes.”

Somehow Jaehyo got the feeling Daesung was talking about more than just feeding a vampire. The idea that life might become less stressful helped ease some of the worry in Jaehyo’s stomach. This life might get easier, or at the very least, less lonely. The idea that he wouldn’t be alone made him happy. While he might not be the most sociable, Jaehyo liked people.

“How old are you?” He hadn’t meant to ask it but he’d been thinking it. Daesung looked like he was around Jaehyo’s own age and yet there was this old soul sort of air to him.

Daesung shrugged. “I lost count a long time ago. You?”

“The same,” Jaehyo admitted. “I know that I should be dead by now but that’s it.”

Daesung nodded. “I’m the same. This life, it definitely has its advantages.”

Like Jiho. Jaehyo didn’t say it but he was certainly thinking it. All he wanted to do was go home to Jiho. To tell him that they would be okay. Except he didn’t actually know if they would be.

“Why did we meet him that night?” Jaehyo asked.

“He’s been expanding his search for humans,” Daesung answered. “This isn’t our normal neighborhood.”

Jaehyo nodded. “It’s ours.” Granted they were relatively new to the area but still. This was the area that he and JIho had picked to make theirs. To make their home.

“I’ll keep him away.” There was an earnestness in Daesung’s voice that made Jaehyo believe the guy would do it.

“Please.” Jaehyo’s voice sounded weak and he hated it but it felt so good to say too. He didn’t want to meet that other vampire ever again. Didn’t want Jiho to meet him again.

“We could meet again,” Daesung offered. “Next month.”

That...actually, it wasn’t a bad idea. “The morning after the first night of the full moon?” Jaehyo suggested. They both lived in the night and it made sense to watch the moon. “And we could keep meeting too.” He liked Daesung. It could be beneficial to build a relationship with the guy.

It was a relief when Daesung nodded in agreement.


	19. i can’t even understand myself and this is what is called love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because honestly i just needed a little sweetness in my life right now
> 
> song mentioned in the chapter is the same one the chapter pulls its name from

Jaehyo yawned as he headed up the stairs. He’d woken up early tonight though it wasn’t an insanely early hour at least. Resting a hand on the wall, he reached to see where all the humans were. Now that he’d been here a full month, he’d learned to distinguish Kyung and Mino by just their auras. Or whatever it was that Jaehyo was able to sense.

He still wasn’t sure what it was. He couldn’t remember when it’d started. The feeling, the sense, had happened slowly and subtly. He’d started to notice he could vaguely sense where people were. As time went on, he’d begun to distinguish them from each other. He’d never mentioned to anyone, not even Jiho. It just hadn’t seemed important. He could do it without touching the house but it helped. Keeping a hand touching the house helped him remember where he was in perspective to everyone and thing else.

Jihoon was gone. That was a surprise. He was normally the last one up. Mino was in their room which made it even odder. Over the last few weeks, Jaehyo had come to think of them as a set, an unbreakable pair.

Kyung entered the house. Jaehyo stopped in the entry, watching the boy. He didn’t notice Jaehyo. Instead, Kyung was staring at his phone. A goofy grin was plastered on his face.

“Good news?” Jaehyo asked. Anyone with eyes would guess that. No one smiled that much unless they’d gotten something good or were talking to someone they liked.

Kyung jumped, clearly startled. A faint blush appeared on his cheeks as he tried to shrug it off. “Just talking,” he said with a feigned nonchalance.

That was totally believable. Totally. Which was why Kyung had that happy, goofy look on his face. “How’d you know I was here?” He asked, giving Jaehyo a look. “I just got in.”

“I felt whatever it is that make you, well, you,” Jaehyo answered. “I guess that never came up before.”

“No.” Kyung shook his head. “No it did not.”

Come to think of it, Kyung hadn’t known about the house wards either. Someone needed to be able to look after them. Jaehyo wouldn’t be able to if he was out of his mind. It wasn’t like he had a ton of confidence in Yukwon and Jihoon when it came to the wards. Grabbing a discarded hoodie, Jaehyo pulled Kyung back outside. It was cold but at the same time, the air held the promise of spring, of warmth. Of change.

“You should learn about the wards,” Jaehyo said, hunching into himself as he immediately regretted his decision to not get properly dressed first. Pajama pants and a hoodie were not the best things to wear in March.

“You mentioned something about them before,” Kyung said, a frown on his face like he was trying to remember. “You were mad about them.”

Jaehyo nodded. “There are wards on the house that protect us.” Fuck. Why couldn’t he have explained this while they were inside? Regret was definitely the only emotion filling Jaehyo now. He took Kyung’s hands and traced the grooves in the door with Kyung’s fingers.

“What do you feel?” He asked, hoping Kyung was more connected to the house than Jaehyo thought he probably was.

“Wood?” Kyung was definitely confused. “Am I supposed to feel anything?”

Well crap. This was going to be as fast as Jaehyo had hoped. “Try closing your eyes,” he suggested. That had helped him at first.

Kyung closed his eyes and ran his fingers over the grooves a few times. “Cold,” he said after the fourth or fifth go at it. “Cold fire?”

The confusion was clear in his tone.

“That’s our house.” Jaehyo grinned. “Now make the fire go away.” From what he’d been able to figure out, they each had their own way. For Jaehyo, he associated that cold fire with Jiho. It felt like him. So to make it go away, Jaehyo imagined Jiho, covering him in a blanket as if he was smothering and isolating Jiho from everything. To bring it back, he uncovered Jiho.

Yukwon had once told Jaehyo how he saw it. For him, the house’s fire was more like an actual fire. He said he smothered the flames with dirt and imagined himself relighting it with flint. Others over the years had told Jaehyo a wide variety of different ways they interpreted the house.

The fire wavered but didn’t go away. “Whatever you just did, it almost worked,” Jaehyo said, trying to encourage Kyung. “Put more into that idea. Take it further.”

It was gone. Jaehyo was trying not to shiver but Kyung had definitely gotten it. This guy was good.

“Did it work?” Kyung’s voice was oddly muted. He was looking down, hiding his face.

“Yes.” Jaehyo grinned and squeezed Kyung’s shoulder encouragingly. He was too cold to continue. “We’ll do the other part, of how to put them back up, another time,” he promised as he stepped back into the house. “It’s basically the same but in reverse.”

Kyung nodded absently. He headed upstairs, no doubt to his own room, without saying a word. It was strange but then sometimes people had odd reactions. Each person had their own way of interpreting the wards, some more personal than others.

By now, Jiho was awake and in his studio. Knowing he should eat, Jaehyo took a bowl of cereal into the studio with him. Jiho gave him a little nod but didn’t speak. He was too busy listening to whatever it was that he was listening to. That was fine. Jaehyo was more than content to sit on the room’s little couch and watch.

Jiho had always loved music. Back when they’d first met, it had been Jiho’s passion, the thing that helped keep him sane and human. He’d been able to perform and make a little money. Over the years, Jiho had stepped in and out of the spotlight to perform and live through his music. Nowadays, he stayed behind the scenes. He produced music, writing songs and taking the beats out of his head to turn them into songs.

This was how they could afford their house, how they supported all their boys. Making music was something Jiho loved, no, needed to do. Music lived in him, spoke through him. It was natural for Jiho, something he had to do, just like breathing was for a human.

From the way Jiho was so focused and from how his head was bobbing along, Jaehyo guessed that the song had a strong beat. It was cute how Jiho couldn’t help himself. He was biting his lip, tongue peeking out from the corner of his mouth. Jaehyo didn’t think he could love the man more than he did right now.

His cereal was long gone by the time Jiho looked up, coming out of the trance he’d been in.

“You want something?” Jiho asked, stretching in his chair. His blond hair was flopping into his head.

Jaehyo shook his head. “Just wanted to see what you were up to.” He didn’t have any plans for the night. He felt like he needed to spend his time with the people in his life. Knowing that he was potentially facing a life without them, facing death, made him want to see them. He honestly didn’t know if it was for himself or for them. Probably for all them.

Spinning in his chair until he was facing Jaehyo, the vampire grinned. “And you decided to not get dressed?”

Jaehyo shrugged. “It just hasn’t happened yet.” He was just having one of those days. Nights. Terminology was weird. “It’s got a sort of lounge-y vibe tonight.”

Jiho shook his head. “Okay then,” he said, amused.

“Are you working on a work thing or a personal one?” Jaehyo knew that Jiho had been collaborating with a singer. The guy was supposed to be working on a new album and had asked JIho to work on all his songs. It was a big thing. Because of Jiho’s whole issue with sunlight, he was picky about the projects he agreed to. Normally he limited himself to a song or two at a time for a person.

 

“Both?” Jiho shrugged. “It started out as a personal project but I’m thinking of pitching it to him.”

That was new. Normally Jiho kept his personal projects, well, personal. Whoever this artist was, he must be something special. “What’s the song?” Jaehyo asked. He stretched out on the couch, knowing Jiho could play it for the room. No need to move which was good because his spot was comfy.

Jiho turned and did something. Jaehyo didn’t understand any of the fancy equipment so whenever Jiho was able to do anything, it felt a bit like he was seeing magic being performed. Most of the time, Jaehyo felt like he’d adjusted to the different eras well but when it came to what Jiho did, he was totally lost.

Soft music started to play. Jiho’s voice came in. Jaehyo closed his eyes. He loved it when Jiho sang. His voice was warm and soothing, almost lulling Jaehyo to sleep. And then he started to actually pay attention to the lyrics.

Opening his eyes, he looked at Jiho. “When did you write this?” There was no judgement, no accusation in his voice. Jaehyo was just genuinely curious about when Jiho had written it.

“After your birthday,” Jiho replied. “When it looked like you really weren’t coming back.”

Jaehyo snorted in amusement. It’d been, what, a month after that when Jihoon had come to him, asking him to come back. “Talk about timing.”

Jiho smiled. “I know but that’s why I’m thinking of giving it to Dean.”

The name sounded vaguely familiar but Jaehyo couldn’t put a face to the name. He figured he’d probably heard Jiho mention the guy before.

“It’s a pretty song.” Jaehyo sat up. “I like it.” Even if it was a song with sadness at its core.

Jiho rolled his eyes. “You would.”

“Not everyone likes hard songs full of fire and anger,” Jaehyo shot back. He understood how those songs were an outlet for Jiho, a way to deal with the monster inside him. They just weren’t Jaehyo’s style.

The song ended. It left a sort of melancholy feeling in Jaehyo. Funny how it’d been about what had driven people apart because all it made Jaehyo want to do was be near Jiho. So that’s what he did. He knew Jiho viewed his studio as a sacred space but Jaehyo needed to be close to the vampire. Was it to reassure Jiho? Or was it for himself? Jaehyo honestly couldn’t say.

“I’m not going to be able to work this way,” Jiho complained. “You’re too tall.”

“We’re the same height.” Jaehyo leaned back, taking comfort in Jiho’s solidness.

“You’re too tall to sit on my lap,” Jiho grumbled. He wasn’t upset though. He leaned back in the chair, pulling Jaehyo back with him. Only the desk behind them kept the chair from falling backwards.

“But I like your lap.” Jaehyo couldn’t say it was the most comfortable seat. Jiho was still too bony for Jaehyo’s liking. It was the closeness that brought comfort, especially times like now.

What would happen to Jiho if Jaehyo didn’t return?

“What’s in your head?” Jiho tapped the side of Jaehyo’s head.

“Stuff that would make you yell at me if you knew,” Jaehyo answered. He knew that would just make Jiho more curious but he had to be honest. “I’m just thinking about the future.”

At this point, it felt like he would be turned any day. And while he’d felt like he had all the time in the world before, now it was starting to feel like time was slipping through his fingers.

“It’ll be fine.” Jiho’s voice was warm and soothing in his ear. His arms wrapped around Jaehyo. “I’ll be there for you the entire time. No matter how long it takes.”

And that was exactly what Jaehyo was afraid of.

“What happens if I don’t come back?”

It was funny. All Jaehyo had wanted for the longest time was to be turned. Now that he was so close to getting exactly that, Jaehyo was...not scared. That wasn’t quite the right word. Nervous. Yeah, he was nervous. And the funny part was that he didn’t feel that way for himself. No, he was afraid and nervous for the ones he loved.

He felt a kiss on his shoulder. “You’ll be okay. I know you will.”

Jiho’s confidence was heartwarming. It didn’t exactly make all the feats go away but it helped make Jaehyo feel better. He just wished he could be that confident. But he couldn’t and that made him feel guilty even though he shouldn’t.

They sat like that for awhile. Jaehyo was surprised at just how long Jiho let him stay there. He wasn’t the sort to like being interrupted which was essentially what Jaehyo had done. Maybe Jiho wasn’t as confident as his words suggested.

Eventually Jaehyo pulled away. Taking the bowl of cereal back to the kitchen, he found Jihoon and Mino. The two were laughing about something. He’d missed seeing moments like this. Jaehyo had always dreamed of having a warm and loving home. Jiho had given him one before. Jihoon and Mino showed they would have it again.

Who could Jaehyo ask? He felt like he needed a contingency plan, to set up a timeline for his full, true death in the situation he was unable to regain his sanity.

Jiho was out. Jaehyo knew that instantly. There was no way he would do that to Jiho. The man had lost so much already. Jaehyo entered their rooms. Asking Jiho to kill him, to bring true death, would be cruel. It would only confirm every fear and doubt Jiho had ever had, tearing him apart. Jiho wasn’t weak but if he’d struggled with just a year apart then being the one to kill Jaehyo would definitely be too much.

Yukwon was out too. Jaehyo had practically raised him. He knew how much Yukwon cared. He wouldn’t be able to do it. Or rather, Yukwon would do it but at the cost of himself. Jaehyo loved Yukwon too much to let that happen. Not when it would mean forcing Yukwon to lose that pureness that make him so uniquely him.

That left three others. Jihoon, Mino, and Kyung. Could he ask one of them? And who would be strong enough to handle it all?

 _Was_ one person strong enough to handle the weight of it?

Maybe it would be better to approach all of them. Jaehyo hated the idea of putting this on them but if they shared the burden it might make it all easier. Or at least let them live with themselves.

Getting dressed, Jaehyo knew he was convincing himself to make a decision that he didn’t want to make.

He wanted to tell everyone that it was okay. That his death would be what he wanted. Actually, that was a lie. Jaehyo didn’t want to die. But he also didn’t want to be out of his mind for the rest of forever.

It must have been later than he thought because Jiho came in, yawning the way he did when sunrise was approaching. “It’s time for bed,” he said, trying to fight the yawn when he spotted Jaehyo.

“That’s why I changed pajamas,” Jaehyo answered. He closed the notebook he’d started drafting letters for everyone in. They weren’t done but he’d needed to get his thoughts out now while they were still in his head.

Jiho came over and laid down, resting his head in Jaehyo’s lap. He was so sweet and innocent-looking in the moment. Jaehyo smiled, running his fingers through Jiho’s long, soft blond hair. “I miss your black hair.”

It slipped out but Jaehyo didn’t feel any embarrassment. He knew blond was a good look on Jiho. It made no sense but it suited Jiho well. But he could remember when Jiho had black hair. And his looks then had been perfect. Blond on Jiho made him stand out, grabbing everyone’s attention. Black on Jiho turned him into irresistible sin.

Jiho laughed. “That’s not what I thought you’d say.” He smiled. It sent a feeling of warmth straight to Jaehyo’s chest, filling him completely. “You liked it that much?”

Jaehyo nodded. “It feels like you.” Jiho had had dark hair for most of their time together so maybe that was influencing him. He was missing the days when it was just the two of them. No doubt it was the letters. They certainly weren’t helping. Which was funny because he hadn’t been able to start on Jiho’s yet.

“I need to get it cut,” Jiho said. “Shall I get it dyed black?”

The memory of how good Jiho had looked with black hair almost made Jaehyo whimper. Almost. He was stronger than that. Not by much but enough that he could control himself. “If you want,” Jaehyo answered. He’d never told Jiho how to style himself. He had never felt like it was his place. This would be the closest he’d ever come to making a request but he’d never explicitly ask Jiho.

“I’ll dye it then.” Jiho played with their fingers. “Maybe it’ll give you motivation to return.”

Jaehyo shook his head. “Are you really suggesting yourself as a bribe?” Because if so, that would actually be an effective bribe. At least, it would work for the Jaehyo on the couch right now. “You’re ridiculous.”

Jiho grinned, bringing Jaehyo’s fingers to his lips and kissing each one. “It’s what you love about me.”

He did. Though it was far from the only thing he loved about Jiho. The man was kind and passionate, funny and goofy, charming and so, oh so much more more. There were more reasons than he could count for why he loved Jiho. He didn’t quite always get why Jiho loved him. They shared so much, had so many memories with each other. But he never quite got why Jiho had started loving him in the first place.

“You’re thinking again.” Jiho was watching him. “What is it?”

Jaehyo shrugged. “Just some thoughts.” He didn’t want to bring up the ones specifically going through his head. It’d do one of two things: bring up an old argument they’d had before or lead to Jiho listing various things that would only leave Jiho being embarrassed.

“Are you keeping secrets from me?” Jiho teased, reaching up to tap Jaehyo on the nose.

Jaehyo shook his head. “You’d just get annoyed or make me embarrassed,” he answered. “I just didn’t want to bring up an old thing.”

“Well now you have to tell me,” Jiho said. He had a smile on his face. The look was sweet. These were the sorts of moments Jaehyo had missed most during his time away and the moments that had almost brought him back to this house.

“I just don’t understand why you chose me,” Jaehyo replied. “You could have anyone but you asked me to come here.”

Jiho chuckled. “Well, you’re the one who never left,” he pointed out.

“I did leave.” Jaehyo squeezed the hand in his. “Turns out I was unable to say away.”

“I’m glad you couldn’t stay away.” Jiho kissed the hand in his again. “Especially since you didn’t have to return.”

“Jihoonie asked me back.” Jaehyo felt like it was important to point that out. Returning had been something he’d dreamed of but had been too scared to actually do. “But I’m glad he did.”

“Should be get him a present?” Jiho was still smiling but his tone was serious.

Jaehyo shrugged. “I’m sure he’d enjoy one.” Jihoon did like to be spoiled after all. He could be such a cute kid at times. “Nothing big though. We wouldn’t want him thinking we owed him or anything.”

“So, is that a no to the new car?” Jiho pouted.

“No, no cars.” Did Jihoon even have a license? “Some shoes or a jacket would be better.” Jaehyo shook his head, trying to ignore that pout. He could never resist Jiho when he pouted like that. He bent down and kissed Jiho, unable to hold back any longer.


	20. what did you do yesterday?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for a little while. It's my finals time and there's too much to do @_@

Kyung felt like there were eyes on him. He glanced over to where Minhyuk sat. The guy looked up from his book and smiled before going back to his work. They hadn’t spent much time together, especially not since that night Kyung had sent the guy his dick. They’d both had tests and projects that just never seemed to end. Even now, this almost date was really just them sharing a table to study at in the library.

If Kyung were honest, he wasn’t sure how to handle seeing Minhyuk right now. Jaehyo had really messed with his head. He knew the guy had only been trying to help Kyung, to teach him more about the house. It still didn’t change the fact that it had left Kyung unsure.

Kyung didn’t know how to handle the image that had popped into his head. That cold fire that surrounded and protected their house had reminded him so much of Zico. And the idea that had taken down the ward? Kyung had given in to the fantasy, letting himself imagine what it might be like to kiss the vampire.

He was a horrible person. He wanted to let himself let go of Zico. To be able to get over the guy and let himself love Minhyuk the way the guy deserved.

“I can’t wait for break,” Minhyuk said as they headed towards a nearby cafe. “I feel like I’ve been going non-stop since forever.”

Kyung nodded. “I know the feeling.” His life had no breaks in it. He could really use a vacation.

Minhyuk stopped to read a menu outside. “What do you think?” He asked, nodding towards it.

Kyung read for a moment. Really, he just stared at it but that wasn’t something he was going to admit. “Looks fine to me.”

They went in. Immediately a wall of warmth hit Kyung which was a welcome change from the cold that had followed them around outside. They ordered and found a table that could almost call itself secluded. If secluded meant a table against a wall with an empty table next to it.

Looking at Minhyuk, Kyung couldn’t help but feel sad. Guilty. It wasn’t fair to Minhyuk. But Kyung was afraid to tell the guy that he kind of wanted to break whatever it was they had off. Mostly because he didn’t actually want to break it off. He loved seeing that look Minhyuk had for him. It made Kyung feel special.

“Are you okay?” Minhyuk had a concerned look on his face. “You’ve been really quiet today.”

Kyung smiled but even he could tell it was fake. “I’ve had a lot on my mind,” he replied. It wasn’t a lie. He just wasn’t telling the whole truth either.

Minhyuk shifted, brushing his foot against Kyung’s. He got the feeling Minhyuk wanted to do more but was restraining himself because they were in public. “Want to share? I’m always here to listen.”

Which was exactly the problem. Kyung shook his head. “Not now.” He didn’t want to hurt Minhyuk. If he shared his thoughts, that’s exactly what he’d end up doing.

Minhyuk frowned and a wave of guilt washed over Kyung. Apparently even when he tried to do the right thing, it was wrong. A silence fell over them as they sat with their drinks. It was awkward and uncomfortable. Kyung just wanted to sink further into himself, to not have to deal with this all now because it just reminded him of what a horrible person he was.

“Ready?” Minhyuk was the one who broke the silence first. They’d both been sitting there for awhile, staring at their phones.

Kyung nodded. He let Minhyuk lead the way out. They walked side by side, not speaking. It just made him feel worse. He bit his lip, glancing over at Minhyuk. He didn’t want to hurt the guy but it really felt like he’d already done just that.

“Let’s head down there,” Kyung suggested, pointing to a park. There were a couple of older women walking around the track but they were far off in the distance. They wouldn’t be able to hear them.

Minhyuk gave him a curious look but nodded. It took Kyung a few moments once they were actually in the park to work up the courage to speak. “I’m selfish,” Kyung admitted. He kept his gaze trained on the path. “I like you. I want to like you.”

“But…” Minhyuk said.

Kyung nodded. “But I can’t stop myself from liking my crush.”

Minhyuk didn’t respond. They walked in silence for what felt like forever. Then Minhyuk said it. “I don’t care.”

Kyung stopped, turning to stare. He had to be hearing things. Minhyuk chuckled. “I went into this knowing you’ve got someone else here,” Minhyuk said, resting his palm on Kyung’s chest. His heart began to beat harder, faster. “I didn’t know you’d get over him instantly. If anything, I’m glad you’re not over him yet.”

What? “That makes no sense,” Kyung pointed out. Because it didn’t.

“It tells me that when you care, you do it with all your heart.” Minhyuk’s hand dropped away. “That you’re not going to get bored and leave when someone else more interesting or flashy or available or whatever else might be the case appears.”

Kyung had never thought of it like that. This really only proved how right he was about Minhyuk being too good for him.

“Just answer me this. Truthfully.” Minhyuk started walking again. “Do you think you could love me one day?”

Somehow that was a question that he both did and did not expect. Kyung almost answered with an immediate yes. He held back. He wanted to say it to try and make Minhyuk happy but somehow he thought if he answered without thinking that it would just have the opposite effect.

Could he love Minhyuk? He kept saying he wanted to but could he? Or was that thought actually holding him back? Minhyuk had asked for a truthful answer. Kyung half ran to catch up.

“I don’t know,” Kyung said, holding onto the guy for support. “I don’t know if I’ll ever love you.” It pained him to say the words. He didn’t even want to think about how Minhyuk must feel right now. Kyung took a deep breath, trying to get his mind in order. “But I want to. I want to try but I just can’t let go of him yet. I know it’s not fair to you but…”

Minhyuk gave a quick glance around. Leaning in, he kissed Kyung on the cheek. “I know. I knew this from the start that your heart is currently pulling you towards someone else.”

He leaned back and grinned, his dimple making an appearance. “I just want you to give me a chance.”

Kyung reached up, touching the guy’s cheek. He could feel himself blushing but he didn’t know what to say. They kept walking around the park’s path. It was peaceful now instead of awkward. This was why he liked Minhyuk, why he couldn’t bring himself to let go of the guy. Minhyuk made him feel better.

“I want to give you one,” Kyung said as they started on their second lap. The older ladies had left by now, leaving just the two of them alone now. “A chance, I mean.”

He did. He enjoyed his time with Minhyuk. Even times like now which had started off so horribly ended up becoming nice. He just hated how he couldn’t drive Zico from his mind.

Kyung stopped, grabbing Minhyuk’s jacket to stop him too. “I think I need your help.”

Minhyuk raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“You need to make me forget about him.” Kyung sighed. “The times I’m with you are some of the few where he’s not on my mind. You...you make me think about you but I need your help.”

This was so embarrassing. Kyung wasn’t good at these sorts of things, not when it counted.

The distance between them closed again as Minhyuk leaned in. The difference between their heights seemed to not matter anymore. To be honest, nothing at all seemed to matter. Not when Minhyuk’s lips were on his. A hand was at the back of Kyung’s neck, holding him in place. It was a simple kiss, just a simple peck on the lips.

Kyung let his other hand grip Minhyuk’s jacket. He used the man as a way to balance himself. He couldn’t believe this was his first kiss. Kyung had never been one to plan it out. He figured it would just happen when it happened. He just hadn’t pictured that it would be a moment like this.

The moment was almost romantic. It felt like they were the only people in the world right now. In the distance, Kyung could hear traffic but they could be on another planet for all he cared.

Minhyuk’s lips were warm and soft on his. He felt so solid in Kyung’s grip but at the same time, he could feel Minhyuk trembling. He was just as nervous too. That helped. Kyung relaxed, pulling Minhyuk closer.

The guy stumbled, breaking the kiss. His eyes were wide as he stared at Kyung.

“That…” Kyung didn’t know what to say.

Minhyuk nodded. He went to take a step back but couldn’t. Kyung still had a hold on his jacket and Kyung didn’t want to let go.

\---

Jiho woke with a smile on his face. Jaehyo was still asleep which was a rare treat. Since Jaehyo wasn’t tied to the sun’s cycle, he could wake and sleep as he pleased. Normally this meant that Jaehyo tended to wake sometime in the late afternoon or early evening which made times like now nice.

Jaehyo looked so at peace in his sleep. He was handsome. He was always handsome even if he didn’t realize it. It always amused Jiho how oblivious Jaehyo could be. At times, Jaehyo seemed to be perfectly aware of how handsome he was and other times, he just didn’t seem to get it. Jaehyo only seemed to be find himself handsome when it might hurt him.

He leaned over, brushing the brown bangs away from Jaehyo’s forehead. This could, not it would be his forever. He would wake up with Jaehyo in his bed. Every single night would start like this.

Jaehyo’s eyes fluttered as he started to wake. Jiho was almost disappointed. He loved moments like this though. He gave a kiss, this time on Jaehyo’s forehead. He almost laughed when Jaehyo wrinkled his forehead.

“Wake up,” the vampire murmured. “You know it’s time.” Rolling onto his side, he watched Jaehyo.

A sleepy grumble came from the human as he shifted, hiding his face. Jiho laughed. “You don’t have to get out of bed,” he reminded Jaehyo. More grumbles. It was hard to hold in all the love he felt. It wanted to burst out of him, to have him shower his grump in affection.

After a few moments, Jaehyo turned to look at him. “What time is it?”

Jiho shrugged. “Sunset wasn’t that long ago,” he answered. “But I have no idea what time it is.” He didn’t care. There was nothing on his schedule for the night other than continuing to set up the room for Jaehyo.

“I need to figure out something for Yukwon’s birthday,” Jaehyo said with a groan.

The day was coming up. And it reminded Jiho of the guy’s request. Before this moment, turning Jaehyo had felt like it was still in the distance. Not anymore.

“He’ll be happy with whatever,” Jiho pointed out. And Yukwon would. He’d love it because it was from Jaehyo.

Jaehyo was quiet as he thought. Or maybe he was still waking up. Then the guy snorted. “What if I got him a puppy?”

It actually… “Huh. That’s not the worst idea,” Jiho admitted. It wouldn’t be the first time one of their boys had had a pet. And a puppy would be a good distraction for Yukwon and everyone else.

“Remember when he was a kid and would keep bringing dogs home?” Jaehyo had a soft smile on his face as he remembered those days.

Jiho nodded. “He’d give you those big puppy dog eyes and you’d fall for them every time.” Jaehyo could never resist his son. He was so soft for Yukwon but then, that was one of Jaehyo’s best parts. When he loved, he did it with his whole heart.

“He loved those dogs,” Jaehyo said, his voice trailing off. It had been awhile since Yukwon had had a dog so maybe it really would work. After his last dog had died about a decade ago, Yukwon had said he’d needed a break. Hopefully it’d been enough time. “I’ll start looking when the sun comes up.”

Jiho chuckled. Jaehyo laid back down and closed his eyes. “Are you really going back to sleep?” Jiho asked, poking Jaehyo’s cheek.

“I don’t want to leave,” Jaehyo answered. A hand reached over to grab Jiho’s wrist. A feeling of sadness came from the human. Jiho understood it.

The realness that Jaehyo would soon lose time was very real and hitting both of them. There was still so much to do but Jiho decided he could put it off for the night. “Let’s go somewhere,” he suggested.

They always spent time in their house. It would be good to get out for once, especially when he wasn’t look for food.

“I need a shower,” Jaehyo shot back.

Jiho nodded. “I need a little blood,” he admitted. He was feeling far better now than he had in the best. It was truly amazing how much Jaehyo’s blood had helped him. And how much the other guys had helped too. Sure there were only six of them and they were all only able to give blood every so often but it helped. Jiho was really starting to feel like himself again. The humans in the house were looking better too.

He found Mino first. The guy looked like he was getting ready to head out. “Wait,” Jiho said. Mino immediately stopped and turned. He had a blank expression on his face. Crap.

“Sorry,” Jiho apologized, releasing the compelling magic he’s accidently laced his voice with.

Mino shook his head and smiled. “All good,” he assured. “Something up?”

Times like this reminded Jiho just how new the guy was to the house. Any of the others (well, maybe not Kyung) would have already recognized why Jiho was here and what he was seeking. “Just need a little blood,” Jiho answered.

Mino nodded, rolling up his sleeve. “I’m glad you caught me before I put my jacket on,” he said as Jiho took the arm offered to him. He picked the spot right below Mino’s elbow. Jiho tried to pick spots that weren’t painful, that wouldn’t leave obvious marks. Besides, feeding from the neck felt so cliche and personal.

It was hard not to spit out Mino’s blood. To not gag on it. The guy was nice but he was young and there was an obvious difference between humans. Their age affected the quality of it. If Jaehyo were a fine wine then Mino was a young grape, just barely starting to ferment. Still, blood was blood and even Mino’s was better than none at all.

A little later, Jiho found himself walking with Jaehyo. There were plenty of people out even though it was still chilly out. He shifted close to Jaehyo, wanting to stick close in the crowd. The guy looked at him and rolled his eyes. He looped his arm around Jiho’s, pulling him close.

“You want to go in anywhere?” Jaehyo asked as they walked. This trip had no real purpose which made it nice. It was relaxing in a way.

“Wherever you want,” Jiho answered. “You’re the one who want be able to do this soon.”

He didn’t want to lose Jaehyo but it would only be temporary. That was the only way Jiho could think about the future. Jaehyo would be fine. He had so much magic in his blood that at this point, he’d probably recover almost instantly. Jiho was too afraid of jinxing the situation to say that out loud.

Jaehyo tugged them into a building, heading upstairs where a music shop was set up.

“Why here?” Jiho asked, amused. It was a decent-sized store, definitely not the biggest one he’d ever been in but not the smallest one either.

Jaehyo shrugged. “I’m curious to see if I can find one of your songs.”

“I don’t record them,” Jiho reminded. “I give them to others so they can sing them.”

Jaehyo rolled his eyes. “I know that and you know what I meant.”

Jiho did. He just liked teasing Jaehyo. He made it so easy and he always reacted. If Jaehyo didn’t react, people wouldn’t tease him. But then, he was too good-natured to ignore people.

After a bit, they walked back into the night. The crowds had thinned out some but the streets were still full of people. As they walked, Jiho found it harder and harder to concentrate on what Jaehyo was saying.

Someone was watching them.

He couldn’t figure out where the person was. Or who. Jiho really disliked the feeling and shifted closer to Jaehyo. Thankfully Jaehyo seemed to be oblivious. Good. As much as Jiho loved Jaehyo, as much as he knew Jaehyo could handle any situation, Jiho wanted to keep Jaehyo safe. To keep him from worrying.

Jiho might have gotten away with it too except two men stopped in front of them. Though his looks had changed, Jiho recognized one immediately. Jaehyo recognized him too.

“Daesung.” Jaehyo didn’t hide the shock in his voice. “It’s been awhile.”

The man smiled. It took up his whole face but there was a seriousness still lurking in his eyes. “It really has,” he answered. “I see you’re still with your vampire.”

Jaehyo glanced at Jiho for just a moment and smiled. “Yeah.”

Jiho could smell Daesung’s vampire on the guy. The same scent lingered on the shorter man next to him. It wasn’t a surprise to learn that vampire was still around. After all, Jiho was still around. This was just the first time in a very long time that he realized he wasn’t the only vampire.

“Have you seen or ran across one of our guys?” Daesung asked. “Shorter than me. Probably about this tall.” He indicated with a hand. “He’s got short black hair and calls himself Seungri.”

Jaehyo shook his head. Jiho did the same. “What happened?” Jaehyo asked. Jiho had to admit he was curious to know too.

“He went out with some friends last week and never came back,” Daesung answered.

The man next to him nodded and added, “we’re used to him just leaving for a week or two at a time but this time feels different.”

Jaehyo frowned. “How?”

“He didn’t say anything about leaving. He just left everything behind and stopped posted on his Instagram.” Daesung pulled out a phone and showed an account that hadn’t been updated in more than a week. The last picture showed a group of young men at a table, drinks in front of them. They were all grinning and seemed to be having a good time. The caption read ‘high school reunion.’

Jaehyo pulled out his own phone and typed the account name in. “Is this him?” He asked, scrolling to another picture that showed one of the guys from the group. The two men in front of them nodded. “I’ll ask my guys if he looks familiar but that’s the best I can do.”

Daesung nodded. “We’d still appreciate it.”

“Are you still using the same number?” Jaehyo asked. Jiho could see him messaging someone already.

“Changed it a few months ago,” Daesung replied.

Jiho watched the two exchange info again. He wasn’t a huge fan of their friendship but he could understand why they’d stayed friendly over the years. For the longest time, the guy had been the only one who had understood Jaehyo’s life. And being able to share information, to help each other like they were now was good.

Pulling out his own phone, Jiho saw what Jaehyo had done. He’d made a group chat for their household. It was actually kind of brilliant and Jiho had to wonder why they’d never done it before.

As a chorus of no’s popped up in the chat, Jiho could see the good in having a little community. Jaehyo and Daesung both cared for vampires. What protected one helped protect the other.

They said goodbye to the other pair and headed towards the station. A quiet silence followed them. It wasn’t an awkward silence but talking didn’t seem right at the moment. It was clear that Jaehyo was bothered by the disappearance of Daesung’s guy.

No one was home when they got back. Taking advantage of having the house entirely to themselves, Jiho pulled Jaehy close and held him. “They’ll find him. He probably just forgot to say something.”

That was a lie. It wasn’t sitting well with Jiho either but he felt like he needed to keep calm or else Jaehyo would get sick from worry. It seemed to be working because Jaehyo nodded. “Probably,” he agreed, “I just forgot how dangerous this can be at times.”

“I won’t let anything happen to your boys,” Jiho promised. He had no idea how he’d do that. He wasn’t the sort to control his household. He’d never done it before and he never would. Jiho would rather walk into the sun than control them, to take away what made each of them unique.

“Now they’re my boys?” Jaehyo repeated, the amusement clear in his voice. He thought about it for a moment and nodded. “I’ll take it. At least, when they aren’t doing anything stupid.”

Jaehyo took a step back, kicking off his shoes. His jacket was thrown onto the bench. Jiho felt a tug on the bond between them, pulling him towards the stairs that led to their rooms. Grinning, he followed Jaehyo to their rooms.


	21. you are my everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back! Thank you all for being so patient as I finished up my spring semester ^^

Stretching slowly, Jaehyo found himself unwilling to get out of bed. It had been awhile since they’d spent so long in bed together. His muscles were protesting, begging him to take a long, hot soak in a tub.

He had things to do today though. Things like finding a puppy for Yukwon. Well, at least, getting Yukwon all the things he’d need. The actual puppy would have to wait until it was a little closer to the guy’s birthday. But the more Jaehyo thought about it, the more he liked the idea of a puppy for Yukwon. He wanted to spoil his boy a little, especially since he’d missed Yukwon’s last birthday.

A bed and some toys were easy to find. There were a few he liked but in the end, the bed covered in sleeping sheep just felt right. It screamed Yukwon.

“Getting a dog?” The clerk asked as she rang everything up.

Jaehyo nodded. “For my little brother.” Because that was the only way he could, and would, describe Yukwon to anyone. Well, okay, he might refer to the kid as his son but only if he were talking to Jiho. Ever since Jiho had pointed that out, that Yukwon was Jaehyo’s adopted son, Jaehyo couldn’t un-realize it.

“That’s so sweet,” she said, seeming to melt a little. It was uncomfortable and only got worse when she tried to give her number, telling Jaehyo she’d be willing to help him find a puppy.

He shook his head. “I’m fine looking by myself,” he told her, taking the bag with everything in it. He didn’t know what type of puppy he should get for Yukwon and he definitely didn’t need some random person trying to push her way in. Jaehyo knew he’d have to do a little searching but he’d find one.

Storing the items in the living room area of Jiho’s rooms, he knew there was something else he needed to do. As much as he’d tried to fight it and mentally put it off, he knew these weren’t just Jiho’s rooms. They were Jaehyo’s too. He wouldn’t be returning to the empty bed in Yukwon’s room. He really needed to go clear the space which would help the guy with his new puppy.

Jaehyo peeked at his bed and smiled when he saw Jiho. The vampire was still asleep but that was no surprise. The sun was firmly up in the sky and it would be hours before Jiho woke up. Now would be the perfect time to work on the letter to Jiho.

Trying to write out the thoughts in his head was hard. Jaehyo knew what he wanted to say. He even felt like he actually had the right words in his head. It was just hard trying to get them out. Putting his thoughts on paper made them seem real. It made him realize that there might be a day when Jiho would have to read this.

Hiding the notebook with the incomplete letter, Jaehyo crawled into bed. He couldn’t sleep. Not with all the thoughts still spinning around in his head. He had spent so much of his life with Jiho. He’d been with the man for all but a few handful of years. It went without saying that Jiho was the single most important person in his life.

Not even his parents who had brought him into this world were as important. But then, Jaehyo had been a child the last time he’d seen them. At this point, they were long gone. His brother was gone too. Hell, at this point, even any descendants his brother might have had were probably gone too. He’d never thought about it before but there was a very real chance that Jaehyo was the last of his line. And soon, even he would be dead.

A wave of loneliness washed over him. He shifted, hugging the vampire’s cold body to him as a reminder that he wasn’t alone. Jiho didn’t respond. It was the worst part of Jiho being tied to the moon and sun. Soon it wouldn’t matter. That’s what Jaehyo told himself. Soon, he would also be tied to that same cycle and wouldn’t have to deal with moments like this.

It must have been close to sunrise. That or Jaehyo had dozed at some point because he felt a little warmth from Jiho. He was still far colder than Jaehyo but he wasn’t quite corpse cold now either.

Feeling Jiho breathe was what finally let Jaehyo sleep.

When he woke, Jaehyo felt like the universe was sending him a sign. Jiho and Yukwon were both gone. He couldn’t feel either one anywhere in the house. The other three were together. It felt like he was being told to talk to them now.

Climbing the stairs, Jaehyo wondered why they hadn’t put in an elevator at some point. Going from the bottom floor to the top was annoying.

Mino and Kyung were playing a game. Jihoon was stretched out on the couch behind them. None of them seemed to notice Jaehy. That was fine. He took a seat, waiting for a natural break. He didn’t have to wait long. Kyung’s character died, at least that’s what it looked like from their reactions.

Jaehyo let them get up, stretch, take a break before he started.

“I need to talk to you three. And you can’t tell Zico or Yukwon.” Instantly he knew he all three of their attentions. Good.

“I don’t know quite when,” Jaehyo continued, looking at the three of them. He had the hardest time meeting Jihoon’s gaze. “But Zico plans on turning me sometime soon. Probably in the next two to three months.”

Saying all this made it feel more solidly real. Jaehyo took a deep breath, trying to steady himself before continuing on. “When that happens, I’ll spend some time where I won’t be sane.”

Kyung looked like he wanted to say something but Jaehyo shook his head. He needed to finish this first. “He doesn’t know how long it will last. It could be a few months or several years.”

Jaehyo closed his eyes, reaching out to feel the house. To make sure that Jiho and Yukwon hadn’t returned. So far, so good. “I refuse to spend years like that,” he told the three. “And that’s where you three come in.”

“You want us to kill you,” Jihoon’s deep voice stated. He’d apparently already caught on. Jaehyo nodded.

“That’s exactly it,” Jaehyo confirmed. “If I’m not myself after a year, I don’t think I’ll ever return.”

“Why us?” Mino asked, horror filling his voice.

Kyung was nodding in agreement. “And why keep this a secret?”

“Zico and Yukwon are too weak.” It hurt Jaehyo to say that but he knew it was true. “They care too much. They’d let me stay that way too long, always hoping that I’ll suddenly wake myself up.” He loved them and they loved him and that was why he couldn’t trust either of those two.

“I’m hoping that this never comes true, that I’ll come back in a short amount of time,” Jaehyo added. “But I don’t feel right about this without setting up a…”

“A plan,” Jihoon finished. He had a serious look in his eyes that was comforting.

Jaehyo nodded. “I was afraid of putting this on just one of you,” he admitted. “But by having all three of you in on it, you can share it. I’m…” he stopped, needing a moment. “I’m working on some other things that will be given to Zico and Yukwon if you need to actually do it.”

This was the worst he’d felt in a long time. Jaehyo didn’t like putting this burden on these boys. But it was the only way he’d be okay with his future.

A quiet passed by as the three absorbed his words. Eventually Jihoon got up and went to the toilet. That seemed to break the spell. Mino and Kyung returned to their game. Jaehyo settled in to watch. The four of them relaxed in the room together. It was nice. It reminded Jaehyo of how things around the house used to be.

Jaehyo knew the moment Jiho returned. He fought the urge to run downstairs to greet the vampire. Besides, it wasn’t needed. He could feel Jiho coming upstairs, heading straight for them. Jaehyo shifted so he could watch the stairs.

He wasn’t disappointed. It was immediately clear just where Jiho had gone. And it was really, really difficult for Jaehyo not to drag the man back down to their bed.

Jiho’s long, soft blond hair was gone. In its place was a head full of black hair. It made all his features seem so much sharper. Made Jiho look dangerous. The top was longer and the sides were almost shaved short. It was a sexy look on the man. All Jaehyo wanted to do was mess up the carefully styled hair.

Kyung was the next to notice. The controller he held clattered to the floor as he stared. That noise was enough to catch everyone else’s attention. Not that Jaehyo was paying them any mind. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Jiho.

The vampire walked over, sitting on the arm of Jaehyo’s chair. “What are you playing?” He asked, seeming to not notice (or care) as Jaehyo slid a possessive arm around the vampire. By gods he’d forgotten just how much he loved dark hair on Jiho. It filled him with the urge to mark and claim Jiho all over again.

Mino replied with a name that Jaehyo didn’t recognize. Apparently he’d already recovered. Kyung seemed to still be staring though. The look he gave Jiho was like he was looking at a god. Jaehyo could relate.

It also kicked the possessive feelings he was having into overdrive. Resting his head against the vampire’s side, Jaehyo shot Kyung a look. It worked because the guy slowly, finally, turned back to the game.

“I can’t believe you really did it,” Jaehyo said, his voice as soft as it could get. He didn’t want to disturb the kids and their game.

Jiho bent his head down so that they were almost face to face. “You said you liked it on me,” he answered. “You like?”

Jaehyo nodded. “It’s killing me that I’m not dragging you downstairs.” He felt his face go red. He was beyond glad the other three were caught up in the game. If any of them looked over, Jaehyo was fairly sure he’d instantly die.

“So why aren’t you?” Jiho asked, voice full of that sexy, confident swagger that drove Jaehyo crazy and made him weak all at the same time. That tone was evil, taking Jaehyo’s mind immediately to their bedroom.

“It’d be rude.” Not that he particularly cared about being polite at the moment.

Jiho smirked and stood. Taking Jaehyo’s hand, they quickly headed down the stairs to where their rooms were.

The carefully styled hair on Jiho’s head was the first thing Jaehyo ruined. He just had to run his fingers through it. Jiho protested but Jaehyo chose to ignore that. It was clear Jiho didn’t mind either since his own hands slide under Jaehyo’s shirt. His fingers were cold, sending shivers through Jaehyo.

\---

Maybe this was a mistake. Jihoon checked his phone, noting that barely a minute had passed since he’d last checked it. He’d been sent a time and a location, along with directions from the closest subway. It was from Taeil.

He was probably crazy for coming here. He hadn’t seen or spoken to Taeil since their last encounter. Given that he was standing outside another motel, Jihoon had a feeling things would end up with them in bed again.

A motorcycle rolled up. This time Jihoon recognized the helmeted rider. Taeil.

“Hey,” Taeil said, taking off his helmet but staying on his bike. “You ended up coming.”

Jihoon nodded. “I was curious,” he admitted. “You haven’t sent me a message like that before.”

Taeil smiled. It sent flutters through Jihoon. “You get a room?” He asked.

Jihoon shook his head. Since he’d been told to come here, he wasn’t sure what Taeil had planned. It seemed silly to get a room if Taeil had already gotten one.

“Perfect.” Taeil gestured towards the back of his motorcycle. “Friend went away for the week so I’m keeping an eye on his place.”

He had no idea where Taeil would take him. He’d only met Taeil twice. But he wanted to know more about Taeil and this was a good way to potentially do just that. Jihoon knew this was stupid but he climbed on behind Taeil.

It was crazy how well Taeil fit into his arms. He was small and Jihoon was able to perfectly wrap his arms around the guy. A faint whiff of cologne reached Jihoon before the wind swept it away. The smell was nice, well, it seemed like it was nice. Something about it screamed ‘manly’ that made Jihoon feel tingly.

Jihoon had to fight his natural reaction. It was hard not to rest his head on Taeil’s shoulder, to close his eyes and let himself relax into the smaller man. He wouldn’t though. That would make it way too weird.

They drove for a little bit. Jihoon vaguely recognized the area. And then Taeil parked in front of a building. It was older but seemed to be well-taken care of. They didn’t talk as they headed up the stairs until they reached a blue door. Jihoon wanted to take it all in but it was hard to concentrate when Taeil had his hand on Jihoon’s.

The apartment was small and clean. No one was there but that was fine. Better than fine because it would be really awkward right now if anyone was home. It only took them three steps to reach the bed.

Hands were already working on Jihoon’s pants, trying to get them off him. The idea that this would turn into just another quick fuck stabbed Jihoon’s heart. That was not what he wanted but he’d known that’s what it would be. He placed his hands on top of Taeil’s, pulling them away. Confusion rolled off the man so Jihoon kissed him. He just wanted to make their time last a little longer. He wanted all the time he could get with Taeil.

Kissing Taeil now was just as thrilling as it’d been the first time. The only difference was that this time, there was a battle for control between them. Taeil’s lips were strong and forceful, his tongue doing it’s best to get in. Jihoon was trying his best to fight off Taeil but it was hard. He was like a tiny force of nature and Jihoon knew the other guy would get his way in the end. It was inevitable. So Jihoon let his hands roam, sliding them under the other man’s shirt. The skin there was smooth, firm and muscular. He’d forgotten just how toned Taeil was.

His fingers brushed across what had to be a nipple. There was a tiny shake from Taeil that didn’t go unnoticed. Jihoon grinned and pinched it, curious to see the reaction he’d get. What he didn’t expect was to have Taeil thrust into him. Clearly this was a weakness and one that Jihoon knew he’d have to take advantage of.

“I want to see you naked,” Jihoon told him, willing to lose the kiss battle he’d already more or less lost anyways.

A faint pink blush settled on Taeil’s cheeks. Perfect. Jihoon used the fact that he already had hands under the guy’s shirt to pull it off him. He’d seen Taeil naked before but it was something he was definitely not getting tired of. There was just so much to look at too.

All of the lines of color were so vivid and they drew Jihoon in. He traced the owl with his fingers, enjoying the way Taeil fought a shiver. Why an owl? Jihoon was dying to know but now wasn’t the time.

Not when he had hands groping his ass.  
Hit by the need to know what Taeil tasted like, Jihoon dragged his tongue across the inked lines. A sweaty, salty taste filled his mouth. It should have been disgusting but Jihoon found himself loving it. This was Taeil and Taeil was all his right now.

“You’re weird,” Taeil said, trying not to laugh. “I haven’t even showered.”

Jihoon didn’t think it was possible but that just turned him on more. Pure Taeil, not one who had cleaned himself up. This was Taeil as he was everyday. Remembering how Taeil had reacted before when Jihoon had pinched his nipple, Jihoon sucked on it.

A deep, rich moan filled the room. Jihoon’s dick got even harder at the sound. He could live off that moan for the rest of his life.

They didn’t stop at the bed. The bathroom had a shower that barely fit both of them but they made it work. The tight squeeze only encouraged hands to roam across wet, slippery skin. To explore each other, learning as much as they could. Jihoon had never encountered someone who made him feel so alive with just a simple touch.

Watching Taeil drive off, his motorcycle quickly disappeared into traffic, Jihoon felt an aching emptiness left inside him.

\---

A feeling of dread weighed him down. He didn’t want to get up. Which was funny because every other year, he’d looked forward to this day. Night. Whatever. But this year, Yukwon didn’t want his birthday. That meant they were a little (a lot) closer to Jaehyo’s death.

He’d always known that Jaehyo wanted to be turned. They’d spoken about it before. ANd Yukwon had always figured he’d be happy about it. He was. He genuinely loved Jaehyo and seeing him happy made Yukwon happy. Yukwon just never thought it’d come with the risk of losing Jaehyo forever.

But laying in bed wouldn’t change anything.

Rolling out, Yukwon quickly dressed. A pang of loneliness hit him as he looked over at the empty bed on the other side of the room. Jaehyo hadn’t stayed long but it’d been nice. It’d reminded him of when he was a child and Jaehyo had made the world seem safe.

Fate had led him to Jaehyo. He’d thought about it a lot since his childhood and that was the only logical conclusion Yukwon had come up with. A week, maybe two, was all he’d been on the streets. It had been long enough for him to become truly hungry and weak to kindness. It hadn’t been long enough to teach him not to trust.

It was something he’d never told Jaehyo but it had been his own choice to run away from home. Maybe if he’d never met Jaehyo, Yukwon would have ended up back with his family. Instead, he’d ended up here and honestly, he’d been content with this life. There were times when it got hard, when he watched others leave. Yukwon knew it was an option for himself and yet it wasn’t. He didn’t want to leave. This was where he wanted to stay until he died.

“Happy birthday,” Jaehyo greeted as soon as Yukwon entered the kitchen. Everyone, even Zico, was gathered in the room. A little cake sat on the counter in the middle of them.

Yukwon plastered a smile on his face. He loved his odd little family. Sure these weren’t the guys he’d grown up with and had spent forever with (well besides Jaehyo and Zico) but they were his family now. And unlike last year, this birthday didn’t feel like a desperate attempt to pretend everything was normal.

(Last year had been awful. Everyone kept watching the door, hoping Jaehyo would walk in. He hadn’t.)

This year was definitely better. Yukwon just couldn’t bring himself to feel quite as happy as he looked.

As he opened the presents from everyone, Yukwon spotted the theme almost immediately. It wasn’t a huge surprise when Jaehyo disappeared for a moment, returning with a small, mostly white puppy.

She was adorable. All puppies were cute but Yukwon got the feeling that his was even cuter than most. He loved her instantly. It’d been several years since his last dog had died and he’d been toying with the idea anyways. The fact that his family had decided it was time melted some of the heavy sorrow away.

And yet, at the same time, it only made that same sadness even worse.

“You think of a name?” Jaehyo asked. They were in Yukwon’s room and he was holding the pup while Yukwon set up an area for her home.

“Not yet,” he replied. “Nothing seems quite right.”

Jaehyo held the pup to his chest as he scooted over until he was next to Yukwon. It was comforting and Yukwon let himself rest his head on the older man’s shoulder. He didn’t want Jaehyo to leave. If only things could stay like there were right now, just like this. Yukwon knew he was being childish but he couldn’t help it. Jaehyo made him feel like a kid but in a good way. When Jaehyo was around, everything was right with the world.

“Why a puppy?” Yukwon asked, the curiosity getting the best of him.

Jaehyo shifted the sleeping puppy so he could put an arm around Yukwon. “Because you love dogs. And,” there was a pause that Yukwon found himself hating, “I thought it might help you.”

“You mean distract me.” Yukwon saw through it immediately. It was so obvious and he wondered why he hadn’t seen it already. Maybe he had. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t quite shake the sadness.

“Yeah, that too,” Jaehyo admitted. “I’m not quite sure when it’ll happen but it’s coming.”

Satisfied that he’d set everything up as best he could, Yukwon reached over to pet his new puppy. He hated that she’d have to spend time in a crate but she’d have to learn the rules. Until he could trust her and had her housebroken, he just couldn’t trust her to run loose during the day.

They sat like that for a little while before Yukwon set the sleeping puppy in the crate. She woke up for a moment before falling back asleep. Apparently playing with Kyung and Jihoon earlier had really worn her out.

Going over to his bed, Yukwon couldn’t help but feel like he was being a petulant child. Jaehyo seemed to pick up on it because he asked, “do you want me to stay?” His voice said he didn’t mind.

Yes. No. It was hard to answer that question because Yukwon wanted to be alone but he didn’t. In the end, he nodded and the bed shifted as Jaehyo joined him.

A pair of warm arms wrapped around Yukwon. He shifted so he could fit in them more comfortably. Yukwon closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep. A soft voice started to sing in his ear. Yukwon smiled. Jaehyo’s voice was always magical. It had the ability to drive his nightmares away.

Jaehyo’s voice wasn’t the best Yukwon had ever heard but it was warm and comforting. It was home. And it made Yukwon feel special because he knew how self-conscious Jaehyo was about his voice. This was a rare treat and one that Yukwon would hold near to his heart.


	22. i design my own life

The bed was hot and a mess of limbs. It took Jaehyo a few moments to realize Yukwon was in bed with them. One side had Jiho, the other Yukwon. Apparently the child had crawled into their bed at some point. Jaehyo smiled as he stroked the boy’s hair.

It had been almost a month since Yukwon had come to stay with them. In that time, this little arrangement had become a semi-frequent occurrence. From the soft whimpers, Jaehyo could guess why the boy had joined them in bed.

He shifted into a sitting position, pulling the little boy into his lap. It was a strange feeling, having someone so young and vulnerable using him as support. Jaehyo was used to the role but for much older, bigger, and independent boys. There was something in how Yukwon clung to Jaehyo in his sleep that made Jaehyo fall for the child more.

It was obvious the moment Yukwon woke up. His little body stiffened as he almost panicked.

“I’ve got you,” Jaehyo said. He kept his voice soft and low, using the most calming tone he had. “It’s okay.” Whatever it was. Not that it worked. The boy was still tense, whimpering as he stared. Jaehyo didn’t know what else to do so he started singing.

Yukwon shifted, finally relaxing in Jaehyo’s arms. It made Jaehyo smile and his heart melt. He kept singing. He wasn’t sure how long they sat like that but it had to be awhile because Jiho rolled over to look at them.

“Another bad dream?” Jiho asked. Jaehyo nodded. He didn’t want to keep singing but he did it for Yukwon. He hated having Jiho hear him sing. Jiho’s voice was nicer.

Yukwon peeked over to look at Jiho. He was fascinated by the vampire but skittish around him at the same time. It was cute to watch. Maybe one day this would get old but for now it was cute.

Taking a chance, Jaehyo shifted Yukwon, placing him in the middle of the bed. Jiho raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything about it. And Yukwon...he stayed there, staring at Jiho. A little hand was gripping Jaehyo’s arms but that was the only indication of anything. Jaehyo let his voice fade.

JIho grinned and picked up the song. The curious expression on Yukwon’s face changed to one of wonder. Jaehyo grinned. He knew how good Jiho’s voice was. Apparently Yukwon didn’t know. It took a few moments but the boy eventually melted from Jaehyo’s side and rested his head on Jiho’s arm.

The was the closest Jaehyo had ever seen Yukwon come to Jiho. All he wanted to do was pull them both into his arms and hug them close. He didn’t know. Jaehyo was too afraid of breaking the magic of this moment. For the first time ever, Jaehyo felt like he actually had a family. It wasn’t the sort of family he’d pictured but it was his.

Jiho caught his eye and winked. He slid his arm around the small boy and gave him a hug. Yukwon gave a little yawn and snuggled further into Jiho’s side. They both watched as the child closed his eyes, seeming to fall asleep again. Jiho let his voice fade away.

“Is he asleep?” Jaehyo mouthed, not wanting to wake Yukwon. Jiho nodded, slowly shifting the child until he was curled up on the bed instead of on Jiho. Slowly, carefully, Jaehyo got out of the bed and he could tell Jiho was doing the same. Yukwon made a little noise that made Jaehyo freeze and stare at the child but he didn’t wake up. Instead, he curled into a little ball in the middle of the bed.

“And you said I was crazy for bringing him in.” Jaehyo grinned, shooting a look towards the bed.

“I never said anything like that,” Jiho argued. They were standing in what had formerly been Jaehyo’s own room but was now Yukwon’s. “He’s a good kid.” Jiho looked over at their bed and smiled. It was a kind and warm smile that was soft and sweet. While he was used to seeing Jiho relaxed, there was something in how he looked now that hit Jaehyo hard. It disarmed him and any sort of defenses he normally had.

Jiho seemed to notice. “What?”

“I just…” Jaehyo shook his head. It was far too embarrassing to admit. “It’s nothing.” He leaned over to look past his vampire and look at Yukwon. “I’m glad he’s settling in.”

Jiho nodded. “I’m just glad he’s not scared of me.”

That was ridiculous. Which was exactly what he told Jiho. “He likes you. He wants to know you but you...you don’t scare him. It’s more like he sees you as some sort of hero.” Which honestly made Jaehyo like the boy more. Not everyone liked Jiho right away but that boy had.

He kissed Jiho on the cheek. It wasn’t planned but a feeling of love that just needed to be expressed had hit him at that moment.

Jiho shot him a look. “We don’t have a bed,” he reminded Jaehyo. “You got us a kid and now it’s his bed.”

That was a problem. Jaehyo gave the bed they shared an envious look. He wanted nothing more than to lay Jiho out on it and have his way with him. Jiho seemed to read his mind because his arms slid around Jaehyo and started pulling him towards the bed Yukwon had been sleeping in.

They fell into it. Arms and legs and lips were everywhere. Lips were on his throat, teeth scraping the bite scar. They bit down and fire blazed from it, heating Jaehyo and filling him with pleasure. He loved it when Jiho fed from him.

“Was going on?” A sleepy voice asked. Jaehyo almost cried in loss when he felt Jiho’s mouth leave his throat.

“Yukwon,” Jiho’s voice murmured from above Jaehyo. “Did you wake up?”

Jaehyo lifted his head to see the boy staring at them. As he moved, he felt a trickle of blood come from the open bite on his neck. It was instinct. It had to be because Jiho bent down and licked it up. Yukwon’s already wide eyes went wider.

“What’s going on?” The child repeated.

How in the world were they going to explain this to a child? Most of their older boys had trouble with learning what Jiho was. How in the world was a kid, one who already had nightmares, going to take this?

“What do we say?” Jiho asked, voice low in Jaehyo’s ear. Their position wasn’t exactly the best. They were in what was essentially Yukwon’s bed, only partially dressed. He had Jiho on top of him and Jaehyo just now realized one of his hands was on Jiho’s crotch.

And then there was the blood thing.

Jaehyo slid out from under the vampire. Jiho moved to sit but didn’t move. A quick glance at the vampire showed he had blood drying on his lips. Great. “Do you want to come over here?” Jaehyo asked. He didn’t want the boy to run but he wouldn’t be surprised if Yukwon did.

To Jaehyo’s surprise, the boy shuffled over to them. “Are you hurt?” He asked, eyeing the bite on Jaehyo’s neck.

Jaehyo covered the mark with his hand even though he knew it was too late. They all knew it was there. “It’s nothing,” Jaehyo answered. “I’m fine.” A little annoyed that he wasn’t going to get some alone time with Jiho but overall, he was fine.

“You’re bleeding,” Yukwon replied. He reached over and set his little hand on top of Jaehyo’s. “How’d you get hurt?”

It was amazing how innocent this child could be. However Jaehyo really just had no idea what to say. Telling the truth would sound ridiculous but they had to tell Yukwon. There was no way they could avoid it forever.

“I’m not human.”

Both Jaehyo and Yukwon turned to stare at Jiho. Yukwon in confusion, Jaehyo in shock.

“I need blood to survive.” Jiho seemed to realize there was some blood on his lips. He licked it away. “Jaehyo and the others help me survive.”

Yukwon blinked a few times then turned to Jaehyo. “Does it hurt?”

What the hell? This kid was not taking this anywhere near like how Jaehyo expected. “It doesn’t,” Jaehyo answered. Technically that was a lie. There was a moment of pain but the pleasure that came with was well worth it.

Yukwon turned his attention back towards Jiho. “Do I have to do it?”

They hadn’t even discussed that before. Jiho’s eyes met Jaehyo’s as they both realized that thought at the same time. There was no way that Jaehyo would allow Yukwon to be fed on. Not while he was such a young child.

“Not until you’re older,” Jaehyo said just as Jiho said, “only if you want.”

Both things were true. Yukwon relaxed, relieved that he wouldn’t be burdened with the task of feeding Jiho. Then he seemed to realized where they were. “Were you gonna do grown up stuff in my bed?” His eyes were wide and full of innocence but how could a kid say that with such purity? There was no way that seemed possible and yet here they were.

Jiho grinned and tapped Yukwon on the nose. “Well someone keeps coming into our bed and sleeping there.” He kept smiling but his tone became more serious as he asked, “what’s wrong? Are you having bad dreams?”

They all knew that had to be the case. No one screamed and cried and whimpered in their sleep without it being a nightmare. Yukwon was reluctant to say it though. At least, that how’s Jaehyo interpreted it when the boy looked away. He seemed to be shrinking into himself which tugged at Jaehyo’s heart. He couldn’t help himself and pulled Yukwon into a hug. Yukwon was stiff in his arms for a few moments before the child relaxed and nodded.

“There’s a monster.”

Jaehyo looked over at Jiho. He gave a little shake of his head and they both stayed quiet, giving Yukwon the chance to speak. It quickly became clear that was all Yukwon was going to offer. Jiho reached over, tugging on Yukwon. The boy looked up from where he’d hidden his face in Jaehyo’s chest.

“Want to know a secret?” Jiho asked, voice low and playful.

Yukwon hesitated a moment before nodding. His childish curiosity was intrigued. Jaehyo’s adult curiosity was piqued too. He had no idea where Jiho was going with this.

Jiho smiled, fully revealing his fangs. They were still pinkish, stained with Jaehyo’s blood. “I’m a monster,” he whispered loudly. “And all the other monsters are scared of me.”

For a moment, Jaehyo feared that was the worst thing possible to say. Apparently it wasn’t though because Yukwon had a look of relief on his face. “You’ll keep them away?” His little voice asked, dead serious in a way that was comical.

Jiho chuckled, reaching to ruffle Yukwon’s hair. “Yep. They won’t bug you as long as I’m around. No need to fear them again.”

Yukwon launched himself out of Jaehyo’s arms, throwing himself at Jiho. He knocked the vampire backwards onto the bed. It was adorable and Jaehyo couldn’t help himself. He laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed until he could barely breathe.

\---

Jaehyo went into the studio without being told to come. He’d seen Jiho and had been hit by the urge to go it. At least, that’s how Jiho chose to interpret it because if Jaehyo had seen who Jiho was with, he would have stayed far away. Jiho kept his attention on the human in front of him.

The guy grinned as soon as he saw Jaehyo. Jaehyo looked like he wanted to run right back out. “What are you doing here?” Jaehyo’s voice was equal parts challenge and something that sounded almost like fear.

Jiho was trying not to laugh. He knew Jaehyo wasn’t the biggest fan of this particular demo singer but hopefully he’d get over it. “He was recording for me,” Jiho answered. He held a hand out to Jaehyo, urging him to come over. Jaehyo shot him a dark look but came over. Jaehyo stood behind him, wrapping his arms around Jiho.

Jiho was almost worried about Jaehyo choking him. But Jaehyo liked him more than he was annoyed by Taeil. He hoped.

“I’m glad you came in,” Jiho said, looking up. He put a hand on top of Jaehyo’s arm. Just in case. “There’s something I was thinking about and it involves both of you.”

“What is it?” There was a wariness in Jaehyo’s voice that was mildly worrying.

“We have empty rooms,” Jiho started. He got about that far before the arms around his neck tighten. Jaehyo wouldn’t actually be able to harm him but without air, it was   
Impossible for Jiho to speak.

“You trying to offer me a place to stay?” Taeil asked, watching them with an amused look on his face. “Why?”

“He’s not thinking clearly,” Jaehyo said.

“He’s probably not thinking at all with you choking him.” Taeil leaned back in his chair. He didn’t try to help Jiho but instead just sat there watching them.

Jaehyo loosened his grip. “We have room and you’ve worked with me for years,” Jiho said. He looked up at Jaehyo and shot him an annoyed look. “You’re the one who keeps saying we need more people here.”

Jaehyo scowled. “You couldn’t ask me beforehand?” His annoyance was clear.

Jiho shrugged which helped loosen Jaehyo’s arms. “It’s been busy,” he said. Also, if he’d mentioned this to Jaehyo beforehand, the guy would have fought against it. Turning to Taeil, he added, “there’s just one thing you need to know.”

“Please tell me it’s the secret behind your eternal youth.” Taeil was grinning. Jiho tried to hide the shocked look on his face but apparently he was doing a poor job of it. Taeil laughed. “You really thought I didn’t notice how neither of you ages? I’ve been doing demos for you for ten years, Zico, and you both look like you did the day I met you.”

Jaehyo’s arms fell away. Jiho wanted to look up but found he couldn’t look away from Taeil.

“So what’s the secret?” Taeil asked, leaning in like he was ready to hear something amazing. Which he was but Jiho didn’t think it was quite what Taeil was expecting to hear.

“He’s a vampire,” Jaehyo answered. “We’ve been alive for more years than we can remember and magic keeps us young.”

It was the dry, matter of fact tone that did it for Jiho. He laughed. All of what Jaehyo had said was true. It was just the way he’d put it that was so amusing.

“So what’s really the secret?” Taeil asked, clearly not buying it. Jiho couldn’t say he was surprised. If he wasn’t living this life, it’d probably be hard for him to believe it too.

He hated to do it but Jiho knew it made the process easier. He let his gaze meet Taeil’s and let the magic seep into his voice. He hated how easily it came to him, to let the magic in. “Jaehyo is speaking the truth.”

He let go of Taeil’s mind once he felt acceptance take hold. Jiho knew it helped that he controlled Taeil’s mind, that he’d taken control of the human. He just hated doing it. Slime coated his soul, making Jiho itch. He wanted to take a shower to try and cleanse himself. Whenever he controlled someone, even just for a few moments, it left Jiho remembering his much younger days.

Lips pressed against his cheek. They were a simple reminder that Jiho wasn’t the same person as his maker. He knew he shouldn’t feel guilt. He’d only taken Taeil’s mind long enough for the human to accept what went against his every natural instinct. He hadn’t tried to change Taeil’s mind. He wasn’t forcing the human into anything. Jiho had never done and would never do those things.

The sliminess he felt still clung to him.

Taeil stared at them. Jiho knew the guy didn’t care about the kiss. They’d known Taeil for a decade and he’d known about them, about their relationship. Now, it was the vampire thing. Jiho had seen this before. Taeil’s mind might accept what he’d learned but it took time to process.

“Why do you want me to move in?” There was a wariness in Taeil’s voice, one that said he believed them but that he didn’t trust them.

“There’s a few humans who live here.” Jaehyo was speaking. Jiho felt a surge of gratitude. Jaehyo understood just how much Jiho hated controlling others. Besides, they’d long since learned that humans tended to accept other humans better. “A place to live, complete freedom in exchange for letting Zico drink a little of your blood.”

Taeil was quiet, letting it all sink in. It was hard to judge just how long they sat there. “Will I turn into a vampire?”

Jiho smiled. He hadn’t expected that. “No,” he answered. “I have never made another vampire.” Add that to the list of worries he had about turning Jaehyo.

“If I wanted to bring someone over, could I?” Taeil asked, leaning back in the chair again. “What about rent? Any bills I need to worry about?”

Those were good questions. Experience had taught Jiho that when someone started asking about those things, they were going to accept the offer.

“Guests are fine. You might get teased by others for it but they’re fine. There are four humans living here now,” Jiho answered. The hand on his shoulder made him pause. “Five humans if you count Jaehyo.”

It was weird to count Jaehyo. He’d never lumped Jaehyo in with the other humans. And with Jaehyo turning soon, it almost felt silly. “There’s not rent or household bills. You’ll cover your own phone and things like groceries but that’s it.”

“You pay it all with your blood,” Jaehyo added. “And there’s household groceries too so you could theoretically live here for nothing.” He squeezed Jiho’s shoulder. “He doesn’t take much but it’s the fact that you’d be willing to give some at all.”

“Why would I move in here? Couldn’t I stay at home and just come over every so often?” Taeil had his eyes on Jiho.

“Freedom.” Kyung’s voice came from the doorway. He flashed them all a smile. “Sorry, I got curious.”

“Taeil, this is Kyung.” Jiho was glad to see the guy. “He’s one of the human’s who lives here.” Turning to Kyung, he said, “and this is Taeil. He’s the demo singer I was telling you about.”

Kyung looked over Taeil, a new sense of appreciation on his face. “It’s not a bad place,” Kyung said. “It’s nice to not have parents and siblings hanging over me all the time.”

“Can I get a tour?” Taeil asked. He was watching Kyung. “From you,” he said, clearly talking to Kyung. It made sense. Jiho and Jaehyo were obviously biased. Kyung was a far more neutral party, one who might give a more honest view of the house.

Kyung looked to Jiho. He nodded. Kyung was a good person, a good choice for this. Jiho hadn’t known him nearly as long as he’d known Jaehyo or Yukwon or Jihoon but he knew Kyung was good. The two humans left the room. Through the window, Jiho could see them talking about something but the soundproofing meant he couldn’t hear their conversation.

A hand whacked Jiho in the back of his head. Turning to look at Jaehyo, he didn’t bother hiding his confusion. “Why?”

“You couldn’t run the idea by me first?” Jaehyo looked unhappy. If not for the years between them, Jiho might have mistaken the source of Jaehyo’s displeasure. He didn’t care that Jiho had asked Taeil to join them. No, Jaehyo just didn’t like being left out of the loop.

There was only one thing Jiho could think of doing. He slid his arms around Jaehyo’s waist, holding him close. Jiho could feel every breath Jaehyo took as he rested his head on Jaehyo’s soft belly. A huff of annoyance told Jiho that he wasn’t entirely forgiven but the hands patting his hair said that the annoyance was only temporary.


	23. the more and more and more i spend time with you

Jihoon shivered as he stepped out of the bathroom. He loved his hot showers but the temperature difference from just turning off the water was immediately noticeable. And the jump from the bathroom to the rest of the house was just cruel.

He almost didn’t notice Kyung. Once he did, it was impossible to miss the guy. And it was even more impossible to not notice that there was a guy standing there, talking with Kyung. Jihoon froze instantly, unable to tear his eyes from that light pink hair he’d come to know so well.

“Hey!” Kyung called out. “We’re getting a new guy.” He started to walk over. Taeil had frozen for a moment when he’d spotted Jihoon but he obviously recovered faster since he started following Kyung over. “This is Jihoon,” Kyung said, speaking to Taeil. “He’s been here awhile.”

Jihoon didn’t know what to say. His mouth was dry and his throat felt like it’d closed up. He had to do something though so he nodded in acknowledgement.

What was Taeil doing here? How did he and Kyung know each other? And just what had Kyung meant by them ‘getting a new guy’? There was only one thing that came to mind and Jihoon rather hoped what he was thinking wasn’t true.

“You’re moving in?” It was hard to meet Taeil’s gaze. It was hard to see Taeil in general without his dick getting hard. He was getting too used to seeing and fucking this guy.

“Ye-yeah.” Taeil sounded like he was having trouble with the whole situation too. Jihoon’s heart skipped a beat as he realized he wasn’t the only one having issues with this right now. He didn’t want to get his hopes up but that had to mean Taeil cared too, right?

Kyung slung an arm around Taeil. “Yeah, apparently he’s been working with Zico for years. He got invited to join us.”

How had he never seen Taeil? Jihoon had been living in this house for roughly five years. Okay, yes, he’d been preoccupied with life and Jaehyo had made him finish high school so that’d taken up a big chunk of his time and then the last year had been just chaos with Jaehyo leaving them but still. Or maybe he had seen Taeil at some point but hadn’t noticed him.

That particular thought was more than a little depressing.

“How long have you been here?” Taeil asked, a curiosity to him that Jihoon hadn’t seen before. “You’ve been here for years?”

Jihoon nodded. It was a little annoying having Taeil question them. The guy had set some rather clear boundaries for them already and this was clearly walking right past that line. If Kyung weren’t here, Jihoon might actually be able to enjoy this. If they weren’t standing in the space between Jihoon’s room and the bathroom.

“I’ve been here for about five years.” It was getting hard to remember just how long it’d been, especially once he graduated high school.

Kyung whistled and stared. “For real? You’ve been here since you were kid.”

“No, that’d be Yukwon-hyung,” Jihoon answered.

“He doesn’t even know how old he is so he doesn’t count,” Kyung replied.

Taeil had a look of confusion on his face. It killed Jihoon to do so but he gestured towards the couches in the room. He was only mildly disappointed when Taeil sat next to Kyung.

“There’s four humans, Hyung, and Zico,” Jihoon said. “Yukwon-hyung is the oldest of us.” He paused, realizing his mistake. “We don’t actually know how old he and Hyung and Zico are. All of them have been here a long, long time.” Even when Jihoon had moved in, Yukwon had been the oldest human next to Hyung.

“Hyung?” Taeil repeated. It was clear he had no idea who that referred to. And odd thing to experience because Jihoon was so used to everyone just knowing that Hyung was Hyung and that referred to Jaehyo.

Luckily Kyung had his back. “Jaehyo-hyung.”

Taeil looked between the two of the. Disbelief was written all over his face. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Nope,” Kyung said, shaking his head. “He’s the one who runs this house.”

Jihoon nodded. That was honestly the most accurate thing he’d ever heard. “Yep. Everything falls apart without Hyung.” And so did everyone in the house.

That year without Jaehyo had been scary. Zico had been out of control. His moods snapped in an instant. His feedings hadn’t been as careful. Yukwon had locked himself inside his own head, had stopped seeking out others. Both of them had acted like they’d given up on everything. And all the other hyungs kept leaving.

There were a few times during that period when Jihoon wondered if he’d survive this house.

The disbelief was still on Taeil’s face. “Jaehyo? You mean to tell me that you’re talking about Jaehyo?”

Jihoon nodded. It messed with him, hearing Taeil about someone in Jihoon’s own life so casually. That Taeil, who had always been so secretive, was connected to his life and had been for years. Could they have had more time together?

“There’s another human here too but Jihoon knows him better,” Kyung said so unhelpfully.

“Minho,” Jihoon confirmed. “He’s been here a few months.” He didn’t want to add that he’d known Minho since they were kids, that he was Jihoon’s brother in all but blood. It felt like too much. Taeil would know too much about him.

Funny how before now, he’d wanted to Taeil to be part of his world, to join him and know him. Now that Taeil was being pulled in (by someone else), it felt like Jihoon was suddenly left bare and vulnerable. Being naked in front of Taeil made him feel less exposed than this.

Kyung nodded. “Yeah, they’ve got that room.” He pointed to the doorway Jihoon had originally been heading towards. “And that one,” Kyung added, twisting to point at another door, “is mine.”

“Who lives in those rooms?” Taeil asked, gesturing towards the two empty bedrooms on their floor of the house.

“No one now.” Jihoon couldn’t help the sadness in his voice as memories of the former occupants flashed through his head. “Just like how Yukwon-hyung is the only one left on his floor.”

“We end up hanging out on his floor a lot though,” Kyung pointed out. Turning to Taeil, he added, “his room is by the studio.”

Taeil nodded, understanding apparently. “Is he blond?”

Kyung grinned. “That’s him.” They only had one person who was blond now thanks to Zico dyeing his hair black again. He’d had black hair when Jihoon had met him but the vampire had been blond for so long now that the dark hair was a weird sight to see on him again.

Kyung turned to Jihoon. “Why do we always seem to end up down there?”

Jihoon shrugged, trying to ignore the fact that Taeil was staring at him. Watching him. “It’s always been that way.” At least, that’s how it’d been ever since Jihoon had moved in.

“Anything special about these rooms?” Taeil said, getting up and wandering over to the two empty rooms.

Kyung looked at Jihoon. As the one who’d been living here longer, Jihoon knew he had to speak. He was the only one who’d ever lived on this floor the house. Or, well, the only one who’d lived here recently. He didn’t actually know if Yukwon or Jaehyo had ever been in one of these rooms.

“Both have been empty a long time,” Jihoon said. There was a sadness in his voice that he hadn’t expected. Other than Jihoon himself, the only ones who’d tried to stick around and ride out storm that had been Zico were the downstairs guys like Yukwon. “One of the rooms is huge and meant for several people. The other is meant for just one person.”

Until Minho had come, Jihoon had thought about taking that single room for himself. His room had just felt too big for just him. Running into Minho had been a blessing even if the guy did have his own little group of friends he spent a lot of time with.

“Any other rooms?” Taeil asked. It was funny but that question made Jihoon relax some. He hadn’t even realized he’d tensed up until that moment.

Jihoon nodded. “There’s two rooms down by Yukwon-hyung.” He paused, not sure if he wanted Taeil next door or as far away as possible. “Both of those rooms are for one person each.” There was also the empty bed in Yukwon-hyung’s room but he didn’t bother mentioning that one.

Taeil started to nod but then frowned. “The stairs go down farther.”

“Yeah, they lead to Zico and Hyung’s rooms.” Aka the rooms no one was allowed to see, let alone enter. Curiosity had always burned in Jihoon. He wanted to know what those rooms looked like. But at the same time, he respected those two too much to every actually just try and enter the rooms.

“No one allowed.” Kyung added. “There’s a lock on the door and everything.” There was a pouty annoyance to his voice that Jihoon almost laughed at. Taeil did laugh.

It was a pretty sound, Taeil’s laugh. His voice went higher and louder but it made it sound like he was truly enjoying himself at the same time. Jihoon wondered if there would ever be a day when this would feel normal, just sitting here talking and joking with Taeil. He hoped so.

Kyung’s phone started ringing. At least, he assumed it was Kyung’s phone considering how Kyung was the one who reacted. “It’s my boyfriend,” the guy said, trying and failing at not blushing. “Mind finishing the tour?”

Alone with Taeil. Not a new concept for Jihoon but it was definitely unexpected. He should have figured something like this would happen though. Life seemed to hate him after all. Jihoon motioned for Kyung to go.

An awkward silence stretched out between them. It teased Jihoon, begging him to break it. To say something. Anything.

Taeil said something first. “So how old are you?”

Not at all what Jihoon had been expecting. He felt himself deflate a little. “Twenty,” Jihoon replied. He hadn’t wanted Taeil to know that. The guy had just seemed so bugged by age before. There was no point in trying to hide it now though. It would come out somehow, from someone, at some point.

“Fuck.” Taeil sat down opposite of Jihoon. “You’re a kid.”

Jihoon glared at that. “No.” He was not a child and he hadn’t been one for a long time.

Taeil stared. “You’ve been here five years? But you’re so fucking young already. How the fuck…?”

It was clear he was having issues with Jihoon. The thought was almost comical except it also hurt. This right here was why he’d wanted to keep Taeil out of this part of his life. Sure he’d wanted to get to know Taeil better but stuff like this? Was better when it was introduced slowly and casually, after he already knew someone better and could anticipate their reactions.

“It’s not something I want to talk about.” Jihoon felt so old in this moment. He stood, detaching from himself. There was only one way he felt like he might have the strength to handle this situation right now without getting totally hurt. He pulled up the fake persona who lived inside him, the one who was strong enough to handle any shit someone might try to throw at him.

Closing his eyes and adjusting himself internally, Jihoon felt more at ease as he felt the shields he’d built up slide into place. “What did Kyung-hyung show you?”

\---

There were shackles on the wall. And a heavy iron bar on the outside of the door. Jaehyo stared at them as the reality of what this meant hit him. He would soon be the reason for them. This was what would protect everyone from him.

Resting a hand on the wall, he frowned at first when he felt the new and unfamiliar energy. Taeil. He’d been moving in the last couple of days. It felt so weird to feel a fifth human energy. It felt like Jihoon was with him in a room by Yukwon’s. Good. Maybe they’d all be able to keep each other company.

Anything really that would keep Taeil far away from him.

“Everything okay?” Jiho’s voice was in his ear. The coolness that came off the vampire surrounded Jaehyo as he felt arms around him.

When would he get another moment like this? He knew what they’d decided, that Jaehyo would be turned in summer but it had felt so ambiguous before. Now he was staring at his reality. Those shackles were terrifying. They were dark and looked impossibly heavy. The chains attaching them to the wall were thick too.

He was going to be chained up. Jiho was going to chain him up like an animal. And Jiho would be in the next room, listening to everything. Probably watching him too. Tears burned at Jaehyo’s eyes but he refused to cry. He knew he had to answer Jiho though so he gave a little nod.

“I still need to get one thing.” Jiho’s warm voice broke his thoughts. “It’s the most important too.”

“What is it?” Dread filled Jaehyo’s voice though he realized there should be no reason for it. Maybe it was the sight of those shackles. Maybe it was regret. Or maybe it was the way Jiho’s arms had tightened their grip on him.

The next two words drove any and all warmth from Jaehyo.

“Your grave.”

Then the panic set in. Breathing felt impossible. He needed to run but he needed the comfort of Jiho’s arms.

A grave. He really was going to die. It was the end of his human life. Logically, he’d known this. It was far different to realize this as his reality. He knew his death shouldn’t be permanent. The idea of dying though...the mortal part of him was freaking out.

“Soil, blood, and moonlight.” Jiho’s voice helped. “Those are the things we need.”

“Does it matter on those things?” Jaehyo’s curiosity got the better of him. As much as the future scared him, he wanted to know more too. Hopefully this would all be his life. He just needed to survive his death and whatnot.

Jiho let go of him and tugged Jaehyo away from the prison. Because that’s what that room was now. “We need a full moon,” Jiho said. “You’ll die the first night of it and will come back on the third night.”

Given how tied Jiho was to the night, this was actually a non-surprise. What was more surprising was how unsurprising it was. Jaehyo nodded. Then frowned. “Will I have to be inside or outside?” He’d always assumed it would all take place in that room, a secret place where it would only be himself and Jiho. Now? He wasn’t so sure.

Curling up on their couch, Jaehyo waited to hear more. He didn’t have to wait long.

“My blood is...you’ll be buried in a grave with my blood,” Jiho said. He leaned against the doorway, blocking Jaehyo’s view of what was beyond. Jaehyo wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not but he felt a wave of gratitude either way. “You’ll be drained and then you’ll be fed my blood and then you’ll be buried with more blood.”

Jaehyo hadn’t known the process for making a vampire but it seemed to fit rather well. Blood and night were tied to all the various mythos he’d read over the years and what he’d seen with Jiho. “Where will you…” _put me?_ He couldn’t finish the question. He didn’t mean to but he was getting emotional at the thought.

It didn’t matter because Jiho understood what he’d been trying to ask. “In the yard.” Jiho’s voice was soft. He sounded like he was trying to fight his emotions as well.

The fact that they could use the yard was surprising though. It was just a small patch of earth next to their building that belonged to it. At one point, it’d had a shed but the thing had long since been taken down. Some years back, one of the guys had planted a tree in the spot. The tree was small but it was slowly growing.

“Aren’t you worried about the others?” Jaehyo asked, indicating the buildings around them. The people in them could see their little yard too.

Jiho shook his head. “There’s a sort of magic to it that makes it hard for mortals to notice. They just don’t see.” He paused then added, “it’s something similar to the magic that protects the house.”

A few moments passed by. Then a few more. “I have a request,” Jaehyo said. “Actually, two of them.” He directed the most serious look he had towards Jiho. “You don’t tell any of the boys when you’re going to do it until the night before.” Jaehyo didn’t want them all to worry up until it was time. They might not like it but Jaehyo would rather they be annoyed at him. Jiho gave a quick nod, understanding.

“I was going to let you tell them anyways,” the vampire said. “What’s the other things?”

“Make Yukwon legit.”

Years and years ago, they’d paid enough money to the right people that Jiho was registered as a citizen, as a regular human. They’d even gotten the mandatory military service marked as being done. It hadn’t been cheap but legally there was a ‘Woo Jiho’ who was a legal resident, a citizen, of South Korea. At the time, they had talked about doing the same for Jaehyo and their other, older humans. They’d never actually gotten around to doing it though. Now that they only had Yukwon, it seemed silly to not do it.

“I thought we agreed you’d be first.” Jiho looked confused at the request, at how it went against what they’d spoken of years and years ago.

“Get Yukwon done first,” Jaehyo replied. Yukwon needed to be able to live a life and not be tied here if he wanted to leave.

Jiho looked like he wanted to fight it, to argue about this. There must have been something on Jaehyo’s face that said don’t bother because the vampire appeared to swallow his argument. Jiho nodded curtly but he didn’t look happy about it. From the way he walked out of the room, not saying a word, it was clear that Jiho was not a fan of this.

He knew why. Or, well, Jaehyo could guess why Jiho wasn’t happy about this. There was a love between Jiho and Yukwon. The three of them had been together since Yukwon was a small child, had raised him. He wanted to make Yukwon legit too. The only reason they hadn’t was that it just hadn’t seemed fair to everyone else at the time. No, it was just that Jiho didn’t like what Jaehyo’s request had hinted at. That there could be a world where Jaehyo didn’t need to be a person in the eyes of the legal system. A world where Jaehyo would be truly dead.

He wanted to know the timeline they were working with. A quick search gave Jaehyo a few potential dates. Jaehyo swallowed, a hard lump painful in his throat. The end of May. That’s what looked best to him.

A few weeks. He had a few weeks left. This was crazy. Part of him almost wanted to back out. The iron bar on the door said it was too late. Besides, he still did want this despite how much he was freaking out.

Pulling out the notebook he’d been drafting his letters in, Jaehyo started writing. He wanted to get the thoughts down now before he forgot them.

Jaehyo jumped when a body flopped onto the couch next to him. It took him several moments to recognize the person as Yukwon. How the hell had he even gotten in?

“Your code is too easy,” Yukwon explained before Jaehyo could ask. “What’s that?” He leaned over, trying to peek at the notebook.

Instinctively, Jaehyo snapped it shut. He knew that would only make Yukwon more curious. He just didn’t want the boy reading it yet. Ever. Actually that was a lie. If Jaehyo survived, these would make some really sweet love letters to his family one day. With some editing of course.

But maybe it would be good for someone to know about these. “If I don’t survive,” he started. Jaehyo found he couldn’t finish the thought. Besides, that was the truth. This was for all his loved ones in the event Jaehyo had to have his true death.

He shifted the notebook so that it was farther away from Yukwon. Placing a hand on top of Yukwon’s, he squeezed. “I’ve been writing everything down,” Jaehyo explained, “so that if I don’t come back as myself, you know what is in my head now.” Jaehyo knew he had to be careful not to let it slip that he had plans in case he stayed crazy.

Yukwon gave a slow, understanding nod. “It’s soon, isn’t it?” He asked, gesturing towards the shiny iron bar.

Jaehyo hesitated. He wasn’t going to tell Yukwon the date he wanted to propose to Jiho but they all knew it was coming. “Yeah,” Jaehyo admitted. “Zico has final say but it’s coming.”

He squeezed Yukwon’s hand again. He wasn’t sure who he was trying to comfort more: himself or Yukwon.

“I’ve also told Zico that he has to give you an identity,” Jaehyo said softly. “That he has to make you a legit person in the eyes of the law.”

Shock took over Yukwon’s face. And then it melted into a bright, excited smile. “I could get a job.”

“Or go to school.” Jaehyo almost laughed. He sounded like a nagging mother on a drama. “Or travel. You’ll be able to do anything.”

A new, excited light entered Yukwon’s eyes at the mention of travel. That wasn’t a surprise. He’d mentioned his desire to see the world many, many times. In particular, his desire to see Japan. Good. Maybe that would help Yukwon.

“Let’s go together,” Yukwon suggested.

Jaehyo smiled. “Well, first you and then if I survive my death, I’ll have to become a person too,” he pointed out, trying to keep the sadness at bay. He felt like he wasn’t exactly succeeding at that.

“We’ll do it.” Yukwon had an enthusiasm that was infectious. 

Maybe. Jaehyo didn’t say. He loved how happy Yukwon was right now. He didn’t want to take away that happiness. But Jaehyo doubted they’d ever get to go anywhere together. Travel was almost impossible for Jiho. Jaehyo doubted that it’d be any easier for himself.

When Yukwon left, he was beaming with joy. Jaehyo was glad. Lately the guy had seemed so down, the weight of everything weighing heavily on him. It wasn’t a good look on Yukwon. Not that it was a good look on anyone but it had been especially off-putting on the normally cheerful Yukwon.

He found Jiho sitting on the front step. His eyes were closed and his head was tipped back to face the night sky. There was a sad, peaceful expression on his face. Sitting next to the vampire, Jaehyo couldn’t bring himself to break the quiet calm this moment had.

Jiho knew he was there. He shifted and turned towards Jaehyo. “What is it?”

If they hadn’t been together for more years than Jaehyo could remember, he might accuse Jiho of being a mind reader.

“All kinds of things.” That wasn’t what Jaehyo had meant to say but the moment the words left his mouth, he knew they were the truth. What he had meant to say was that they had a serious problem.

Jiho laughed. It was his normal bark of a laugh that could sound obnoxious at times but instead it just made Jaehyo feel warm and fuzzy inside. He loved that laugh.

“I know that,” Jiho said. “What’s on your mind right now?”

All kinds of things. Jaehyo didn’t bother repeating himself. “Yukwon knows one of the codes for the door.”

Jiho nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

They sat in silence for a little longer. There wasn’t much that could be done about Yukwon other than changing the codes.

“I don’t want him to see me when I’m not myself.” Jaehyo let his gaze drop as he stared at his feet. He didn’t like the idea of Jiho seeing him when he was like that either but at least Jiho knew what to expect.

“I won’t let that happen,” Jiho’s voice, warm and comforting, promised. They settled into another easy quiet.

This, more than anything else, was why he loved the vampire. Things were easy with Jiho. No pressure, just a solid and comforting understanding that existed between them. All the issues they’d ever had had come from putting pressure on them. On the relationship between them.

“Remember when we used to meet and just sit like this?” Jaehyo asked. With everything going on in his head lately, he was feeling nostalgic.

Jiho chuckled, nodding. “Yeah. I don’t think I’ve ever told you but I used to look forward to those nights.”

“Me too.” And Jaehyo really had. “Those nights were the highlight of my life back then. They kept me wanting to stay there, to make it through each day.”

He felt like they’d had this conversation before. They probably had. It was hard to remember. Age didn’t mean they had great memories. If anything, it was just the opposite. The longer he lived, the harder Jaehyo found it to remember most of his life.

“You slept half the time.” Jiho just had to point that out.

Jaehyo just nodded. “Yeah. I have no regrets about that one either. I think I knew even then…” it was too embarrassing to finish the thought.

A big grin filled Jiho’s face. “What? What do you think you knew?” From the he just… _was_ , it was obvious that Jiho already knew what Jaehyo wasn’t able to say.

“You know what.” Jaehyo stretched his arms over his head, doing his best to try and ignore the the smug, satisfied grin on Jiho’s face. A task that was far easier said than actually done.

He wasn’t sure how long it took but eventually Jaehyo felt his butt start to go numb from the cold step. Jiho, stupid perfect Jiho, didn’t even seem to be affected. Standing, Jaehyo ruffled the vampire’s hair as he said, “I’m going in.”


	24. but this is only the beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. This happened by accident ^^;;

Kyung scrambled to get away from the door. He hadn’t meant to listen in on the conversation Zico and Jaehyo had been having. It had just kind of happened. He’d been getting ready to meet Minhyuk (movie date, Minhyuk’s idea) when Kyung had noticed the two talking on the steps. At first, he hadn’t wanted to interrupt. Then his curiosity kicked in.

Okay, true, he hadn’t really learned anything he didn’t already know. And the few things he hadn’t known didn't’ feel all that surprising to learn either. It was kind of annoying how predictable those two were turning out to be. Where was the mystery? The fascinating pasts full of stories?

Listening to them just really drove home the point that Kyung had never had a chance. Another time and it might have left him crushed. Kyung could be honest with himself. There was a sadness in his heart and he wasn’t really in the mood to go out anymore (he would though). It wasn’t an overwhelming sadness though. It made him want to see Minhyuk. Really, all his accidental eavesdropping had done was make Kyung want something like that for himself. That easy sort of companionship where there wasn’t drama and everything just kind of worked.

Jaehyo entered and spotted Kyung immediately. He smiled. “Heading out?” Jaehyo asked.

Kyung nodded. It didn’t feel like he’d gotten caught. That was a relief. “Yeah, to see a movie with,” he paused for a brief moment before he said it, the words he’d been dreading to say around Zico, “my boyfriend.”

He kept his eyes trained on Jaehyo, too chicken to see whatever reaction might be on Zico’s face. The guy probably had no reaction at all which was honestly even worse (if Kyung were being honest with himself about it).

“Have fun,” Jaehyo said, oblivious to the roiling mix of emotions Kyung felt.

Minhyuk was waiting for him. That grin he seemed to reserve just for Kyung appeared. The sight of it woke the butterflies that seemed to be inhabiting Kyung’s stomach up. It sent them into a frenzy. Why did Minhyuk always seem to make him feel so nervous? It would be so embarrassing to throw up right now which was all Kyung kind of felt like doing. He wouldn’t though. He needed Minhyuk to keep up with the good impression he seemed to have of Kyung.

“Sorry I’m late,” Kyung apologized. “I got caught up with some things at home.”

“It’s fine. I only got here a few minutes ago myself,” Minhyuk assured. He held up a set of tickets. “I snagged these earlier too.”

They went in to their theatre, quickly finding seats. It was impossible to concentrate on the movie though. Not when he had Minhyuk’s hand on top of his. If they were alone, Kyung might have let himself rest his head on Minhyuk’s shoulder. At least, that’s what he told himself.

All throughout the movie, the conversation he’d overheard earlier kept playing over and over in his head.

That conversation might have been why he said what he did as they were walking out. “Can I go home with you?”

His voice was soft and for a moment, Kyung thought that Minhyuk might not have heard him. The way Minhyuk stopped and turned to face him clearly said that he had heard it. “Are you serious?” The guy asked.

Kyung almost backed out. Then that damned conversation played in his head again. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

Minhyuk took a few moments to think it over. It was a gesture that made Kyung so nervous he almost wanted to puke (again) and yet at the same time, it made him feel grateful too. He could only interpret it that way, that it meant Minhyuk was seriously considering it. Kyung knew the guy lived alone, that his parents lived in the city but had decided his commute would be too long each day.

Though they’d been friends for awhile now, Kyung had never actually seen his place before. Then again, Kyung wasn’t exactly Minhyuk back to his own home. Mostly because no. Dealing with everyone was not something felt like doing.

“Yeah, you can come over.” Minhyuk gave a little nod. Something in it was cute beyond words. Kyung contained the urge to scoop Minhyuk up and do...something. He didn’t even know what.

They took a taxi to Minhyuk’s place. Apparently it was easier than the train or by bus. All Kyung knew was that the ride was torture. It seemed to last forever. Minhyuk was close and yet he felt worlds away at the same time. Whenever he glanced over at Minhyuk, the guy was staring out the window. His hand sat on the seat, so close to Kyung’s own. Kyung wanted to reach over and hold it. There was no reason for it other than he just wanted to. He wouldn’t though. Not with the driver in the car.

Kyung was surprised to see that Minhyuk lived in a really nice neighborhood. The guy always wore nice clothes but so did almost everyone. Kyung knew for a fact that a few of his friends barely had enough money to feed themselves but they’d show up in designer clothes all the time.

Giving a low whistle, Kyung had to ask it. “Your family rents this for you? Are you secretly the son of a CEO?”

Minhyuk had the decency to look embarrassed. “Not quite,” Minhyuk said, leading Kyung to an elevator. It was curious that he didn’t offer any more but any thoughts were driven out of Kyung’s head as he stepped into the elevator. Nerves took over as he realized he was actually going to Minhyuk’s apartment.

He was seriously rethinking the whole ‘heir of some big corporation’ thing though when he saw Minhyuk’s apartment. The place wasn’t huge but it had multiple, distinct rooms. Like a second bedroom. The door to it was closed which only brought out even more of Kyung’s natural curiosity. He took a step towards it. “I thought you lived alone…”

A hand on his arm stopped Kyung from going over there. “My cousin’s room,” Minhyuk said, gesturing towards the door. The guy was surprisingly strong. “He’s usually out of town. I think I might see him two or three times a year if I’m lucky. Our parents wanted us to live together though. Said we could help keep an eye on each other.”

Kyung let himself be lead over to the couch. It mostly filled the room but as soon as Kyung sat, Minhyuk sitting next to him, the thing felt impossibly small. Their thighs were touching. He was practically in Minhyuk’s lap.

“This isn’t what I expected.” Kyung felt like he was babbling. He just had to do something though because if he didn’t, his nerves would shake him apart. “The place, I mean. I never expected something so…”

“So nice?” Minhyuk offered. He had a sheepish smile on his face. “I’m not the one paying for it. I was just told to live here.”

Kyung was pretty sure those were the sorts of words a rich heir would say but he bit back the comment. Somehow.

“I’m just used to everyone living in places that aren’t like this.” Crap. Kyung hadn’t meant for that to come out that way. “Sorry,” he apologized, hoping like hell he hadn’t offended MInhyuk somehow.

A hand crossed the nonexistent distance between them and squeezed Kyung’s. “It’s fine,” Minhyuk assured. Shooting a glance at the closed door, he added, “it’s mostly because of my cousin that I’m able to live here anyway.”

So the cousin was the heir. Good to know. Kyung let his head rest on Minhyuk’s shoulder as he tried to figured this out. He’d wanted to come over but he wasn’t sure what he should do next. The idea of just jumping into bed and having sex with Minhyuk, while a thrilling thought, was a bit much. After all, they’d only kissed once so far.

How did he move the relationship towards something more? That was Kyung’s current problem.

Could he just kiss Minhyuk? Was that allowed?

He realized that seeing as they were dating, Minhyuk would more than likely be fine with getting kissed. Lifting his head, Kyung place a kiss on the side of Minhyuk’s neck.

A brief, almost unnoticeable shiver went through Minhyuk. If they hadn’t been so close, if all of Kyung’s attention weren’t focused on Minhyuk, he wouldn’t have noticed. But he did notice. Kyung filed the information away for later, that Minhyuk had a sensitive neck.

Soft lips captured Kyung’s. They promised so much. Kyung felt his heart speed up in anticipation of that promise. He reached over, resting a hand on the back of Minhyuk’s neck so he couldn’t get away. Couldn’t end this kiss. Another hand, not Kyung’s, gripped Kyung’s shirt tightly. He was trapped just as much as he’d trapped Minhyuk. Though could it really be called a trap if he went willingly? If he’d been the one to start this?

Back and forth they went. It wasn’t a fight. More like they were trying to see just what the other was comfortable with. What he’d do in response. That being said, Kyung surprised himself when he pushed Minhyuk backwards. He straddled the guy, enjoying the power he felt as he had a panting, sweaty Minhyuk under him.

The look in Minhyuk’s eyes was startling. They made Kyung feel wanted. Loved. He bent down so he could feel those lips on his again.

\---

Two days. They lasted two almost full days before one of them broke. Jihoon figured he’d be the one to break first but he surprised himself. Taeil was the one who pulled him into a room (the one that used to belong to Hanhae-hyung his mind helpfully supplied). The older man had him pinned to the door.

Hands held Jihoon’s face, pulling it lower so that lips could press against his own. There was a neediness in it that had been missing before. Jihoon moved his hands, taking them out of Taeil’s grasp, before he even realized it. He rested one on the back of Taeil’s neck and the other on the small of his back, holding Taeil close so he couldn’t get away.

“I thought you said I was a child,” Jihoon said when he had a chance to pull himself away. His body ached to hold Taeil close but those words still stung.

He couldn’t help himself as he looked around the room. Jihoon remembered when Hanhae-hyung had had this room. It was weird to see someone else’s things here. To see Taeil’s things in this house.

Jihoon was looking everywhere but actually at Taeil.

“I was wrong.”

He didn’t know Taeil well (okay, at all if he were to tell the truth) but that certainly grabbed Jihoon’s attention. It seemed to unlike what he did know about Taeil. “What?”

“You’re not a child,” Taeil said. There was something in his voice, his tone, that pulled Jihoon’s attention. “You’re young but not a child.”

Truth be told, Jihoon didn’t feel like very young. Looking at Taeil, Jihoon felt like he was the older one between the two of them. There was something about them that made Jihoon feel like their positions should be reversed. Funny how until a couple of days ago, Taeil had seemed like this cool, mysterious guy who drove Jihoon crazy.

He still drove Jihoon crazy but seeing these different sides of Taeil made the guy seem more human. Not just some mysterious stranger that he kept fucking.

“Why the change of mind?” Jihoon asked. He couldn’t help the wary edge in his voice. Part of him hoped that Taeil realized that his whole age issue was pointless. Another part, the voice in the back of his head that liked to point out all the bad things, said Taeil just wanted Jihoon for his body.

Taeil shrugged. Not exactly confidence-building. “I realized it doesn’t matter.”

Lovely.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jihoon didn’t like the sound of those words.

Taeil sighed and sat on his bed. “It means I realized it doesn’t really matter how old you are because we’ve already had sex.”

Fair enough. There was a logic in that that Jihoon couldn’t fight. Didn’t want to fight. The annoyance he’d been feeling towards Taeil was melting. Making sure the door was locked, he joined Taeil on the bed.

It was amusing how Taeil shifted to Jihoon’s side but didn’t move to touch him. Jihoon had anticipated Taeil’s touch but now it wasn’t coming. The guy had pushed him up against a door (on more than one occasion as his mind so helpfully reminded). And now he was just sitting next to Jihoon.

Figuring he might as well (and he craved Taeil like the guy was some sort of drug), Jihoon leaned over and held Taeil’s jaw, kissing him. Unlike the other times they’d kissed, including the one just a few moments ago, this kiss was soft. There wasn’t a fight for control, a push for dominance. It was soft and gentle and made Jihoon hungry for more.

All the times they’d been together in this sort of situation, Taeil had more or less taken control, had decided what they’d do. Jihoon hadn’t minded then but at the same time, he felt like if he wanted to maybe make this more than just sex, he needed to do something. He needed to make his own moves. There was a potential flaw to this idea but his brain refused to dwell on it.

He didn’t want Taeil to turn the tables on him though. For Taeil to suddenly take back control. Breaking the kiss for a moment, Jihoon took a moment to glance around the room. There was an idea forming in his head. He didn’t know how Taeil would take it but hopefully the guy wouldn’t mind. Not that Taeil had anything extreme in mind. The fingers currently dancing around his inner thigh certainly seemed to suggest Taeil might be open to it. Still, his nerves were definitely racing as he grabbed some tubing from the empty fish tank on the floor.

The smell of fish hit Jihoon a moment later.

“What are you doing?” Taeil asked, watching but not stopping him.

Jihoon pulled the other man’s wrists towards him. “Tying your hands together,” he said, putting all his attention on doing just that.

Taeil must not have heard him because the guy didn’t protest until it was too late. “Why’d you do this? This is for my fish.” He pulled on his hands but either Jihoon had tied it tighter than he thought he had or Taeil was trying not to break his fish tank stuff.

“So you have to lay here,” Jihoon answered, pulling Taeil down with him so they were both lying on the bed. Taeil’s hands were trapped between them and that was more of a turn-on than Jihoon expected. “You have to let me do what I want to you.”

There was a shiver that went through Taeil. If Jihoon wasn’t already turned on, well, that would have done it.

He took his time, slowly kissing Taeil. It was fun to kiss along the guy’s jaw and down his neck, seeing how Taeil reacted. The way Taeil struggled with his hands showed just how much he wanted to do something. He wasn’t telling Jihoon to stop though. If anything, he seemed to be pressing himself more and more into Jihoon.

“You going to take all night?” Taeil growled as Jihoon started to kiss his way back up the older man’s neck. Jihoon was particularly fascinated with the bat, exploring it with his mouth. The frustration Taeil felt was clear and Jihoon loved it.

“You want me to hurry?” Jihoon let his hands finger the hem of Taeil’s t-shirt.

“Could you please stop being so damn frustrating?” Taeil was growling. The sound and sight was magnificent in a cute way.

An evil, wicked idea entered Jihoon’s head. “Just remember,” he said, still playing with Taeil’s shirt, “that you wanted this.” He pulled the t-shirt up but because of Taeil’s tied hands he couldn’t actually take it off the guy. That wasn’t exactly a problem though. Not when the shirt helped Taeil further. And it also covered Taeil’s face, making it hard for the guy to see.

Taeil started complaining immediately but he didn’t actually tell Jihoon to stop. Since it wasn’t like he could exactly keep kissing Taeil, Jihoon started working his way down. Remembering how sensitive the guy had been last time, Jihoon paid extra attention to Taeil’s nipples.

“You’re an ass,” Taeil complained. He sounded like he was having trouble speaking and it wasn’t because of the shirt on his face.

Taking pity on the guy, Jihoon uncovered Taeil’s face. “What about my ass?” Just saying that made Jihoon want to die of embarrassment but it was well worth it for the blush on Taeil’s face.

“You’re going to slow,” Taeil shot back.

That was kind of the point. He wanted this moment to stretch into forever. Ignoring Taeil’s frustration at him was surprisingly easy. Mostly because of the sheer amount of skin (and Taeil in general) Jihoon had before himself.

A knock on the closed door froze Jihoon. He couldn’t help it. He looked up, eyes meeting Taeil’s. A similar sort of panic was on his face.

“Yeah?” Taeil called out. There was s trained tone to his voice that Jihoon couldn’t help but feel smug about. Despite the danger they were in (honestly no one would care if they were sleeping together, it was just pure embarrassment at getting caught), Jihoon started to undo Taeil’s jeans. With his teeth.

The already wide-eyed expression on Taeil’s face got wider. “I’m heading out to get something to eat,” Yukwon’s voice said. “Want to come?”

Jihoon used his hands to actually push the jeans down. Taeil hissed softly, shooting Jihoon a look that somehow said keep going and that he better not at the same time.

“I’m busy right now.” Taeil struggled to get the words out.

Jihoon bit back a laugh. Or rather, he buried his face in Taeil’s stomach as he shook with laughter. It must have tickled because Taeil was squirming under him.

“Okay. I’ll see if Jihoonie or Kyung want to go then,” Yukwon replied.

Jihoon had the hardest time keeping himself together at his name. He almost called out but then he remembered where he was. Funny how he briefly forgot about the nearly naked man underneath him. It was even harder to stay quiet when Taeil kicked him.

“What was that for?” Jihoon grumbled, shifting so that he was sitting next to Taeil. He let his fingers wander the inked lines of skin.

“You looked like you were going to say something.” Taeil didn’t look guilty at all. Honestly, he looked great right now. His hands were still tied up, pushed up by his face. His pants were gone and his shirt was still bunched up around his shoulders. The annoyed, flustered look on Taeil was hot.

It was that combination that really did it for Jihoon. As much as he’d wanted to take his time before, he wanted to rush now. He kissed Taeil, putting all the feelings that had started to grow in him into it. His hands slid past the band of underwear, pushing them away until he’d freed Taeil’s cock. It was hot in Jihoon’s hands, wet and seeking attention.

He couldn’t disappoint it, now could he?

Jihoon dragged his fingertip over the tip, enjoying the groan he got in response. Knowing how sensitive Taeil’s chest was, he tried to keep paying attention to the guy’s nipples too.

Taeil’s breathing grew more labored and shallow as he squirmed and bucked under Jihoon’s hands. It was a beautiful sight. Jihoon felt drunk. Without warning, he came in Jihoon’s hand.

Too late, Jihoon realized that he himself was still wearing clothes and that he now had cum on his shirt. Great. He could only be annoyed with himself for that though. Annoyingly enough, Taeil had a smut look on his face as he looked over Jihoon.

“You look good with my cum on you,” the guy said, his voice sounding even smugger.

“If this shirt’s ruined, you’re going to owe me a replacement,” Jihoon said. He meant it too.

“Untie me and I’ll pay you back now.” There was a spark of fire in Taeil’s eyes. He was clearly ready to go again.

The thought was tempting. At this point, Jihoon’s own cock was aching. It wanted to be touched, to get a little attention. Plus, with all the teasing he’d done, Jihoon was curious to see just how Taeil would pay him back.

Jihoon grinned and leaned over. Taking Taeil’s hands and wrists into his point, Jihoon pulled the tubing loose. “Show me what you got.”


	25. out of all the stars, the one for me Is you

The night was nice. Not too cold but still cool enough to encourage getting close to someone. Like the vampire sitting next to him. Jaehyo still hadn’t told Jiho just what they were doing here but the guy had to guess.

“What are we doing here?” JIho asked as the river glittered before them. It was mostly dark, reflecting the lights of the moon and city

They were almost alone. A few people were around but none of them were close by. Not that Jaehyo cared what any of them thought. It was just nice to have Jiho to himself, away from the house. Unfolding the blanket he’d grabbed before they’d left the house, he spread it out and sat down. A sigh came from Jiho before he sat next to Jaehyo. They both stared out at the water.

“You’re getting all nostalgic on me,” Jiho said. He didn’t sound upset but rather amused about it.

Jaehyo just shrugged. “I can’t help myself,” he admitted. There was something about this moment that just felt right. “With everything lately, my mind keeps going back.”

Back to the days when it’d just been the two of them. When they’d both been young and distrustful of the world. It was obvious to Jaehyo now though he hadn’t seen that then. In those days, they’d both been in pain. They’d been drawn to each, to the pain and scars they each carried.

“I can’t say I can relate,” Jiho replied. “When it was my time, I...in a way, I was relieved but also terrified.” He shifted, moving so he could lean against Jaehyo. “I was with my maker for years but he wasn’t a kind person. He wasn’t needlessly cruel but he...he’d lost his own humanity at some point.”

Jaehyo stroked the back of Jiho’s hand. Despite all their years together, he still hadn’t heard all of Jiho’s story. He could guess why it was coming out now though. If Jaehyo survived, it would become part of his own history in a way. His lineage so to speak. If he didn’t, well, at least Jiho would have gotten a chance to share it with someone.

“My brother attempted the change four years before me,” Jiho continued. “And he was still a monster.”

Hearing that, Jaehyo wished he could go back. That he could take away all the pain and fear Jiho had experienced. It was impossible. He knew this. He hadn’t even been born yet. Or maybe he had and he’d been infant. They’d never quite figured out that one.

“I wasn’t exactly given a lot of time to think about it,” Jiho said, apparently not noticing Jaehyo getting sidetracked with his own thoughts. “I found out just a couple of days before it happened.”

Jaehyo didn’t want to interrupt. However this felt like the perfect moment to speak up. “I have another request,” he said. Jiho was probably getting sick of these requests.

“What?” There was an open sort of wariness in Jiho’s voice that amused Jaehyo.

Leaning against his vampire, Jaehyo bit back a laugh. Now was not the time for that. “I want you to do it this month.”

There was an unnatural stillness to Jiho. It was a reminder that as much as Jiho played at being human, he wasn’t. And he hadn’t been human the entire time Jaehyo had known him. “Why so soon?” Jiho asked. There was an edge to his voice. Zico was trying to bleed through.

It broke Jaehyo’s heart. He loved both sides of the man next to him. Jiho, who was so soft and human. Zico who was tougher and a protective presence, who came out when Jiho felt the need to hide. Jaehyo was so used to seeing Jiho that the hint of Zico hurt. It meant Jiho was afraid.

“I don’t want to drag this out,” Jaehyo said. He still had Jiho’s hand in his so Jaehyo gave it a little squeeze. “The more time goes on, the more chances I feel like I’ll have where I’ll want to back out. And we all know it’s coming.” He sighed and added, “the longer we wait, the crueler it all feels.”

He hoped Jiho understood. Jaehyo felt like he did a terrible job explaining himself but that was how he felt. As horrible as it might sound, he just wanted to get this over with.

“I guess that means I need to get started on it.” There was a broken sadness in Jiho’s voice. It was understandable. They’d been dancing around the topic for a couple of months but this was a conversation they’d been building towards for awhile now.

“Do you know the date of the full moon?” Jiho asked. Jaehyo nodded, telling it. There was a pained look on Jiho’s face after he heard it. “That’s so soon.”

“Yeah.” Jaehyo couldn’t help but agree with that. “Is it doable?” From what he’d been told and what he’d seen so far (the shackles instantly came to mind), it didn’t seem like it’d be impossible.

Jiho nodded. “It is. I just don’t want to.” Not a surprise. Jaehyo smiled but he knew his own sadness was reflected in it. As much as he’d always wanted to be like Jiho, he was scared now that it was so close.

There were so many things to do. Jaehyo needed to teach Kyung how to set the house wards. Teach Taeil about them too. He felt like he needed to set a schedule for his boys (and Taeil - he still hadn’t quite come to terms with that one yet) so they remembered and did things like clean up and buy groceries. He needed to change the door codes so Yukwon couldn’t get in. And his letters. Those needed to be finished too.

He did none of those things. Instead, he laid down, resting his head in Jiho’s lap. Vague memories began to surface. Once, a long time ago, they’d sat by a river like this. The world had been different then. No cars. No massive skyscrapers filling the sky. But Jiho was there and here. Jiho had always been here, had been since this had been Jaehyo’s life.

When he was a child in Busan, he’d never pictured a life, a world, like this. Those days, he’d just hoped for enough food. And then he’d been spotted and left (taken by force his mind decided to point out). Life had gotten easier and much, much harder. He’d been a child thrust into an adult world. Unlike the others his age who’d lived there, he’d had no training for that sort of place.

Looking back, Jaehyo could recognize why he’d struggled. He might have been able to handle it all if he’d had someone. There had been no one though. He’d been so isolated during those years which only fed his growing loneliness. Maybe if he’d had some confidence, he could have survived relatively free of scars. That household had ensured any confidence he might have had in himself was shredded to pieces.

Jiho was stroking his hair. The gesture was comforting. He could feel the love and fear radiating from Jiho. They were both hoping for the best but Jaehyo knew he wasn’t the only one who kept dwelling on the worst outcome. And it scared Jiho. After all, while the vampire might be a few years older (a couple of decades but at this point, that didn’t really mean anything), he’d only spent a very small portion of his time without Jaehyo. They shared so much. Jiho didn’t have many he was close to. He usually tried to distance himself from everyone, even their boys. And one of the few, if not the most (Jaehyo didn’t want to seem cocky but he could be honest) important person in his life might soon be gone forever.

Jaehyo was more afraid for Jiho than he was for himself.

\---

“I heard he was going to leave her and the boys soon anyways.”

“We all knew about mistress.”

“Wait, he had a mistress?”

“He had two from what I heard.”

“He had two? I knew about the girl at the tea house but a second one? That man kept himself busy.”

“Oh it wasn’t just a second mistress. He had a whole second family with one of them. That’s why he always left and would stay away for weeks at a time.”

“Who?”

Yukwon wanted to shut out all their voices but he couldn’t. They were all around him. Every time he left home, he had to hear them. They didn’t even try to be subtle around him. It was like he was invisible to all the gossiping busybodies. He just wanted to curl up in bed with Mama but he couldn’t. Not when he had to go to the market because they’d used up the last of, well, everything they’d had to eat last night. If he didn’t get anything, they wouldn’t have anything. Mama needed to eat so she could get better.

The ladies kept talking about Papa.

When he got home, Mama was sitting up. She was still in bed but at least she was sitting up. He almost dropped the bag in his excitement. He stopped himself just in time. They couldn’t afford to break the eggs he’d managed to find on his way home.

Mama gave a weak laugh as he hugged her. He couldn’t help himself. It’d been days since Mama had had the strength to sit up. Her arms around him were weak but at least she was hugging him.

-

He was covered in sweat and shaking. Ppo was sleeping in her crate. Yukwon was glad. He couldn’t remember what he’d been dreaming about but he was glad he couldn’t remember. He hadn’t a nightmare in years. Not since he was a child.

Yukwon moved without really meaning to but he wasn’t surprised to find himself outside the door to Zico and Jaehyo’s rooms. What was surprising was that the codes he knew no longer worked. He figured a day like this might come. He just hadn’t thought it’d be so soon.

Someone must have heard him. Someone meaning Jaehyo because that’s who opened the door.

“You look like shit.”

Given that’s how he felt, Yukwon thought it was a fairly accurate assessment.

“Can’t sleep,” he mumbled out.

Jaehyo stepped out of the room. “Nightmare?” He guessed. Yukwon nodded, feeling like a child. Had he really come running to these two because of a bad dream he couldn’t even remember? Embarrassment started to creep in. He was an adult after all. A really old one that that.

They headed up the stairs, not stopping until they reached the kitchen. Through the window, Yukwon could see what had probably sparked his nightmare, whatever that thing had been. Out in what they called their yard was a hole. A large, human-sized hole.

“How soon is it?” Yukwon asked. The hole had been growing steadily for a few days. He really didn’t understand how their neighbors didn’t notice it. The whole was big enough to bury a body in. And he had a sinking suspicion they were burying Jaehyo.

“Soon.” Jaehyo set a mug of something steaming on the counter. “Not tomorrow but...it’ll be by the end of the month.”

That was barely anytime at all. He didn’t feel ready for it, to lose Jaehyo.

“I’ve got a schedule I’m going to put up.” Jaehyo’s voice was fun and lighthearted. “Hopefully it’ll help you guys not have so many problems.”

They wouldn’t have had any problems if Jaehyo had stayed. Yukwon didn’t dare say that though. Not when Jaehyo’s time was nearly up. Besides, this time was different. Jaehyo would only be gone temporarily and then he’d be back forever.

“I’m going to keep it all under control,” Yukwon promised. He meant it. He wouldn’t mope around. No, he’d be strong time time. They had a house full of young men who were all babies. Taeil was the oldest and he wasn’t even thirty. Zico needed them to all stay but Jaehyo would need them even more.

“What’s with the meeting?” Taeil’s voice asked as he joined them. He had a bag in hand. ‘Fish store’ was printed on it and Yukwon almost groaned.

“You’re all about fish too?” He asked, unable to believe his luck.

“Too?” Taeil repeated.

Yukwon nodded and pointed at Jaehyo. “He’s a fish guy.”

Jaehyo scowled. “No, I fish. I’m not a fish guy.” There was a childish petulance to his voice that Yukwon had to smile at.

“I’m not setting up your own personal fishing pond.” Taeil hugged his bag close.

“Your tank isn’t a fishing pond and I wouldn’t bother anyways. It’d be too easy.” Jaehyo had annoyance written all over his face.

It was kind of amazing how easily Taeil could get under Jaehyo’s skin. In all his years, Yukwon had never seen someone do that, especially from the start. And yes, he knew Taeil wasn’t exactly a stranger, that he’d been working with Zico for years. But Taeil was still new to their whole world.

“Is that what the hole out there is for?” Taeil asked, gesturing towards it. They all turned to look at the thing. Just seeing it made Yukwon feel sick. He hated the reminder of what was to come.

“No.” Jaehyo seemed unable to take his eyes off it. “No, it’s for me.”

Yukwon walked over and rested his head against Jaehyo’s shoulder. He didn’t know what else to do. It was hard to give comfort. He felt like any words he might say wouldn’t come out right. But he was here for Jaehyo. He always would be. After all, Jaehyo had saved him. Had given Yukwon a life he’d never thought possible.

“The fuck are you talking about?” Taeil was looking at the pair of them like they had green skin and rainbow hair.

“He’s getting turned into a vampire.” Yukwon almost didn’t notice that he was the one who’d spoken. “That’s Hyung’s grave.” Because there was no denying that was what the hole was. It was a Jaehyo-sized grave.

Taeil stared. “You’re turning into a vampire.” His eyes were on Jaehyo who nodded. “How the fuck do you turn into a vampire? Hell, why would you want to be one?”

Yukwon knew the answer before Jaehyo even said it. Both questions had the same answer after all. “Zico.”

He’d always known that Zico and Jaehyo were together, that there was a bond between them that no one could break. Yukwon knew a similar sort of bond existed between himself and them. It just hurt in a way Yukwon hadn’t expected. Funny how he’d never noticed the dagger pointed at his heart until just now.

Part of him wanted to hate Zico. He couldn’t. Try as he might, Yukwon couldn’t do it. He knew Zico wasn’t happy about this either. But at least they had Jaehyo now. Yukwon slid his arm around Jaehyo, wishing Taeil wasn’t in the room.

Jaehyo was amused by the motion apparently. He laughed and slung his own arm around Yukwon’s shoulders. Funny how comforting that was. Yukwon smiled.

“What the hell is with you two?” Taeil asked. He was giving them a look but Yukwon didn’t know the guy well enough to decipher what it meant.

“My son.” Jaehyo’s words drove that dagger. “Not literally,” he added after a moment with a laugh, “but he might as well be.”

And that was that. Yukwon had never heard Jaehyo put the relationship between them in those terms but he’d always felt it. “I’ve been with Hyung since I was little,” Yukwon decided to share. He could ignore the pain in his heart. He could. He was strong enough to do that. Besides, it wasn’t a secret just how long he’d been here.

It was that bond between them that had driven Yukwon to seek Jaehyo out after he’d woken up. And in a rush, the dream came back to him.

“Papa died.”

Taeil had a look of confusion on his face. Jaehyo was concerned.

“Are you okay, Kwonnie?” Jaehyo’s voice, soft and gentle, asked. Embarrassment burned at Yukwon as more memories of his earliest days came at him.

“I don’t know.” There was a rough, rawness to his voice and Yukwon hated it. He didn’t want to be here with all this attention on him. He needed to get away. He needed some space so he could breathe.


	26. but i'm standing at the last bus stop for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blame twitter for the last scene

Jaehyo shot the doorway a worried look. Yukwon had walked out of the room so abruptly. Should he follow or should he give Yukwon his space? It was hard to figure out what was the right thing to do in this situation.

“So you’re seriously going to become a vampire?” Taeil asked. Jaehyo nodded absently, his attention still on the doorway.

“Let him be,” Taeil said. That caught Jaehyo’s attention and he turned to face their newest resident. “He looked upset,” Taeil continued. It was clear he was trying to act nonchalant about this. “You said he might as well be youre kid and then he said something about ‘Papa dying’ or whatever it was that he said. There’s something about this,” Taeil gestured all around them, “that’s bringing up something in him. Give him a little time to deal with it.”

All the tension that had been building inside Jaehyo deflated in a moment with those words. Taeil was right. He was loathe to admit it but Taeil was right. As much as he wanted to go after Yukwon, the boy needed space.

“So you’re going to become a vampire.” Taeil was looking at the grave again. “Why? And don’t give me that same answer you already said.”

Jaehyo sat on a stool. He hated Taeil right now. But he didn’t at the same time. Taeil was keeping him away from Yukwon. Taeil was distracting him so he wouldn’t get lost in his own thoughts. This was why he didn’t like Taeil. The guy could see through him in a way that no one else could.

“Yeah,” Jaehyo answered. “I’ve been asking Zico to do it for years.”

“Why now?” Taeil seemed genuinely interested in the subject.

Jaehyo took the now cold mug he’d set on the counter earlier and pulled it closer. “There’s a lot of reasons.” It hurt to think and talk about but Taeil was one of them now. He deserved to know. He needed to know.

“I honestly don’t don’t know how long I’ve been with Zico,” he said, hands on the mug. It still had a faint hint of warmth to it but that was it. “I grew up using mun.” He held up his hand to keep Taeil from interrupting. That little tidbit alone had a thousand questions lighting up on Taeil’s face.

“Zico was still a new vampire in those days. Well within a normal human lifespan. And ever since then, this entire time, we’ve been together.” It hadn’t been a romantic relationship in those earliest days. They’d both been too afraid and damaged for that.

“How the fuck have you not gotten sick of each other?” Taeil managed to interrupt anyways. “I get bored if I see a guy for more than a few months.”

Jaehyo shrugged. “We just have. I’m not sure when I started asking him to turn me but he always told me no. Last year, I got sick of always hearing no so I left.” When he put it this way, it all felt so simple and silly. “I didn’t plan on coming back.”

“What happened?” Taeil was smirking. It was hard to blame him for that though. After all, Jaehyo had clearly returned.

“Jihoonie happened.” Jaehyo smiled. “The household fell apart and he asked me to come back.” And it was hard to refuse Jihoon.

“He did?” There was surprise in Taeil’s voice.

Jaehyo nodded. “Yeah. He’s a smart kid. If you haven’t had a chance to talk to him already, you really should take the time to get to know him. He’ll surprise you if you let him.”

The look on Taeil’s face was amusing. It was an odd mix that was somewhere between interest and panic.

“Are you fucking with me?” Taeil asked, his voice strangled.

Huh? Jaehyo cocked his head, wondering just what had prompted that sort of reaction. “What in the world are you talking about?”

Taeil’s face went pale after he seemed to realize that Jaehyo had no idea about whatever it was Taeil was talking about. That only made the situation even curiouser.

“Do you know Jihoonie?” Jaehyo asked. He wanted to know. It wasn’t quite a ‘had to know’ but he felt like it was close.

Taeil dropped his face, staring at his hands and the bag in them. That was most likely a yes. Which begged the question of how did they know each other. Jihoon was young. He’d been with them since he was a kid. Hell, he’d still been in high school back then.

“We’ve met a few times.” Taeil didn’t sound like he wanted to add anything more. Jaehyo had learned to read people decently over the years. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get anything more out of Taeil right now. Now Jihoon on the other hand…

“So you’ve been with Zico since the dawn of time and left.” Taeil was clearly trying to steer the conversation back towards their original topic.

Jaehyo let him. He nodded. “Yeah. You see how well leaving worked for me.” Not at all. The break had been good for them in a way though. “I came back and Zico agreed I should be turned. And that’s where we are now.”

“And you’re going to become one soon?” Taeil sounded like he was looking for clarification more than confirmation.

Jaehyo nodded again. “Yeah. It’s not a secret around here. Zico and I know when but I don’t want anyone else to know until it’s time.” Crap. He hadn’t meant to say that part. It was too late to take it back now though. Jaehyo close his eyes so he could avoid looking at Taeil. “I might not survive,” he added, voice barely more than a whisper.

Taeil made a noise like he was sucking in air. Jaehyo didn’t look up. He didn’t open his eyes. “And you wonder why a guy you call your kids is having issues?” The incredulous tone made Jaehyo want to shrink and disappear. When put like that, it was obvious.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen.” Maybe it was the familiarity and yet newness of Taeil but all this stuff that Jaehyo had been holding in just kept tumbling out. Jaehyo felt a sense of relief. He didn’t want to burden Jiho, Yukwon, and Jihoon with these thoughts. He didn’t know Kyung or Mino all that well. Taeil was somewhere in the middle and that just encouraged all of this to come out apparently.

A shifting sound was soon followed by the sound of a cabinet being opened. Looking, Jaehyo saw Taeil getting himself a drink. He couldn’t blame the guy.

“Want one?” Taeil asked. Jaehyo shook his head.

“I’m not a big drinker,” he explained. Not since he’d learned that alcohol in his blood affected Jiho. The vampire wasn’t a fan of being drunk. The out of controlness that hovered on the edges of drunkenness scared Jiho. So Jaehyo didn’t drink either. He didn’t mind it if he were honest with himself. Some drinks every so often were fine but Jaehyo was a little afraid of getting much more than tipsy. Bad memories he didn’t like remembering had a pesky habit of popping up when he drank too much.

Taeil shrugged and poured himself a shot. After a second shot, he seemed satisfied. “So basically everyone’s on edge because there’s a big unknown hanging over this place.”

That basically was it. Even though Jaehyo knew when he would die, he didn’t know if it’d be permanent. It was stressful which was not something Jaehyo had noticed before. Apparently this was getting to him more than he thought.

“Things should get better after I die.”

“Without context, that sounds incredibly morbid,” Taeil pointed out.

Not much Jaehyo could do about that. It was the truth. All of it. He looked over Taeil, carefulling taking in the guy. Taeil was by far the newest guy they had. But that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

“Jihoonie, Mino, and Kyung are all young,” Jaehyo said. “Very young.”

Taeil had a look on his face. It was hard to read but it didn’t seem like a happy expression. “Yeah, I know that now.”

Well that only raised more questions. He’d definitely have to ask Jihoon about this. “They’re young. Zico and Yukwon are old. When I’m gone,” shit how was he supposed to say this? Jaehyo started over. “When I left before, it really hit Zico and Yukwon hard. They...they couldn’t keep it together. Jihoonie was a child and didn’t know what to do.”

At least, that’s what Jaehyo assumed. The guy had been their baby back then, the youngest of their household in terms of age and time spent in the house.

“Are you trying to ask if I’ll keep an eye on this place?”

Holy crap, Taeil had a brain. It was a fucking miracle. Jaehyo nodded.

Taeil poured himself another shot.

\---

Butterflies were having a field day in his stomach. Kyung briefly wondered if it was too late to jump back on the train. It was. He only had one option: go to Minhyuk’s apartment. He had a set of directions on how to get there which was nice because Kyung hadn’t really been paying attention when he’d come before.

Minhyuk didn’t answer the door right away. He was honestly starting to think that he’d beaten MInhyuk home. Then the door opened. Minhyuk stood there, a towel around his neck. Hair was plastered to his scalp and a drop of water was beading down the side of his face.

“Sorry,” the guy said, ushering Kyung in. “I wrapped up my workout early so I could squeeze in a shower before you got here.”

For some reason, Kyung had never pictured Minhyuk as someone who worked out regularly. It made sense though. The guy was lean and built like a dancer. He had also shown a surprising amount of strength last time Kyung had been here.

Kyung stepped into the apartment. It had only gotten more impressive somehow. Not fair. Especially since right now, Minhyuk had this easy, at-home feeling to him. He just had this look of belonging to this world. Kyung knew he was definitely out of his element here. Was it too late to run?

“Want something to drink?” Minhyuk asked. He stood in the doorway to another room. The stove behind it indicated that it was the kitchen.

“Water’s fine.” Kyung had no idea what Minhyuk might have in there. It’d be real embarrassing if he requested something for it to be the one damn thing Minhyuk didn’t have.

It felt so awkward being in this apartment. What was he supposed to do? Should he sit and wait? Or had Minhyuk meant for Kyung to follow him? He hated how confusing this all was.

Kyung sat on the couch, not at all knowing what to do with himself. Minhyuk brought a cup of water over, handing it to Kyung.

“This is weird.” Minhyuk sounded nervous. Kyung laughed. It was such a relief to hear that it wasn’t just in his head. It was weird and awkward. Somehow the easiness of their friendship had vanished. Feelings always made things different.

“It really is,” Kyung agreed. “I don’t know what to do.?

Minhyuk nodded. “Want to watch something or…”

Kyung shook his head. “Music?” He suggested. He didn’t know what kind Minhyuk listened to. He almost asked if the guy wanted to dance. Kyung could still remember the night he’d gone with Minhyuk and his friends. The way Minhyuk had moved had been magical.

A smile lit up Minhyuk’s face and a dimple popped on one side. It was cute and made Kyung feel all melty inside. “Yeah, I got some,” he said as he got up. A few moments later, a soft ballad started playing from a small speaker next to the television. Minhyuk held his hand out.

Crap. Kyung swallowed hard. He should have expected this. Too late to back out now though. Kyung took the hand offered to him, glad they were alone and also that Minhyuk knew he was a shitty dancer.

He let Minhyuk lead. After all, the guy was the master dancer here. Kyung put his hands on the other’s hips, letting them sway with the beat that Minhyuk had instinctively started dancing to. An arm wrapped around Kyung’s waist. It was nice. He could get used to this.

“This is so embarrassing,” Kyung said after stepping on Minhyuk’s toes for what had to be the eighth time in one song.

Minhyuk laughed. “You’re really cute when you blush.” Which of course only made the heat on Kyung’s cheeks grow hotter. Minhyuk was lucky he was hot. Kyung wouldn’t put up with this sort of abuse otherwise.

He made sure to tell Minhyuk all that too. “You know, you’re really lucky you’re so hot. I wouldn’t stand for this sort of abuse if you weren’t.”

The way Minhyuk threw his head back and laughed was gorgeous. God, this guy really did like him if he thought that was funny. The quick peck on Kyung’s cheek only confirmed it.

They’d stopped moving. Honestly, that was fine with Kyung. He rather liked the feel of Minhyuk in his arms. Of Minhyuk holding him. Right now, it felt like the whole world was reduced to just this moment.

Kyung leaned in, pressing his own kiss onto Minhyuk’s lips. He didn’t want this moment to end. For this moment, Kyung was able to let the rest of the world melt away.

He had no clue how they ended up in Minhyuk’s bed. It was barely big enough for the two of them. Not that that was a problem. The hands roaming his bare chest were plenty distracting. Kyung had his own legs wrapped in, around, Minhyuk. In that moment, it was a little hard to tell where he ended and MInhyuk ended. Air didn’t seem necessary. Not when there were soft, curious lips pressed against his own.

Minhyuk was really good at kissing too. A creeping, annoying thought lurked in the back of Kyung’s mind. He was able to ignore it for now but he knew he’d have to deal with it at some point. Probably when he was in his own bed, mind replaying this moment.

He didn’t want to go home. If Kyung could freeze time and live in this moment, he would. He wasn’t sure if he quite loved the man kissing him so sweetly. It was a good thing they were laying down because Kyung felt like jelly. But he definitely realized there was something here which was more than he’d felt before.

The kisses grew softer. Minhyuk’s breathing slowed and his hands on Kyung’s chest went limp. A smile graced Kyung’s face as he realized what happened. The guy had fallen asleep. It was beyond cute. Kyung placed a soft kiss on Minhyuk’s cheek before closing his eyes to try and get a little sleep too. It wasn’t hard to relax and it barely took any time at all before Kyung fell asleep.

His internal clock said it was around 3am when he woke. Minhyuk was gone which was odd. Kyung thought about getting up and looking. The bed was warm and comfy though. Besides, Minhyuk had probably just gone to the toilet.

Then he noticed that the light for the living room was on. Kyung checked his phone to make sure of the time. It was nearly 4am which really didn’t help explain anything. His natural curiosity drew him out of the bed and into the light up living room. Still no Minhyuk.

The light in the second bedroom, Minhyuk’s cousin’s room, was on. Kyung could see a sliver of light peeking through the cracks.

“Hyung?” Kyung decided to call out. Had the mysterious cousin returned? “Did something happen?”

A flushing sound drew Kyung’s attention towards the bathroom. Minhyuk emerged a minute later though it felt like forever in that moment. He looked embarrassed. “Sorry. Did I wake you?”

Kyung didn’t know so he shrugged. “Dunno,” he admitted. “I woke up alone and noticed the lights on.”

Minhyuk’s eyes darted towards the closed bedroom door. Kyung followed his gaze and noticed that the light had turned off. Well, that confirmed the cousin theory. Kyung still had to ask. “Your cousin come home?”

It too Minhyuk a few moments to respond. He was probably still half asleep. “Ah, yeah. He came in a little bit ago. He’s been gone for awhile so he probably went to bed.”

Kyung nodded. He couldn’t say that 4am was his ideal time to meet someone anyways. “Back to your bed?” He asked, a flirty boldness taking hold as he remembered those kisses earlier.

\---

The moment he woke, Jaehyo knew what day it was. He was surprised to see Jiho staring at him. Apparently he’d slept in.

“Why are you staring?” Jaehyo asked. He was trying not to blush but he knew he was failing. The intensity in Jiho’s eyes was embarrassing.

“It’s ridiculous how handsome you are.” Jiho’s voice was soft. The amount of emotion squeezed into it was overwhelming. No doubt that was why Jaehyo hid his face with the blanket. His heart was beating so fast, Jaehyo thought it might explode on him.

He always knew he was handsome. Ever since Jaehyo was a child, people had commented on his looks. They’d told him he was pretty. He was handsome. They loved him. They hated him. Usually Jaehyo could ignore the comments. Unless it was Jiho. He could totally disarm all the defenses Jaehyo put up around himself with just a single look. A few words. It didn’t matter that he’d heard it before from Jiho. Each time was like the first.

“What are you doing?” Jiho asked, a hint of laughter playing in his voice. He’d pulled himself under the blanket too. He looked so childishly handsome. At that moment, it was clear that he’d been turned right at that cusp of youth and manhood. He was good-looking, yes, but it broke Jaehyo’s heart some that he’d never see what Jiho would have grown into.

“Hiding,” Jaehyo answered. The sound of Jiho’s laughter was magical. Until that moment, Jaehyo hadn’t realized a heaviness had been weighing on him. Hearing Jiho laugh made it all melt away.

“You know what you need to do tonight,” Jiho reminded. Jaehyo nodded. Pulling the blanket off him, Jaehyo went to move. The hand on his wrist stopped him. Shooting an inquisitive look Jiho’s way, the vampire grinned. “You’re not getting away from me that easily.”

It took almost two hours for Jaehyo to get dressed and make his way to the kitchen. Mino was there, phone in one hand as he ate with his other. He looked up when Jaehyo entered. “You think it’d be a big deal if I got a cat?”

The question was so random that it broke Jaehyo’s train of thought. He shrugged. “Probably not but you might want to run the idea by Jihoon,” was all he could say in response.

Mino nodded. “That’s what I thought.”

“You thinking about getting a cat?” Jaehyo asked. 

Mino gave a little nod. “Always wanted one but my parents kept telling me no,” he explained. “When I got here, I didn’t think pets were allowed.”

It made sense. A few months ago and there hadn’t been any pets here. Jaehyo gave an understanding nod. “As long as they’re taken care of and don’t become a nuisance, Zico and I have never had a problem with you guys having pets.”

He couldn’t, wouldn’t, put this off any longer. “Where’d everyone go?” Jaehyo asked. He’d been unable to feel the others in the house when he’d felt for them earlier.

“Jihoon went out with a guy he met,” Mino said. In an instant, Jaehyo wondered if the guy was Taeil. He’d never had the chance to find out just what was going on between those two. “Dunno about the others.”

Mino couldn’t help his unhelpfulness. There was no use getting annoyed at the guy for knowledge he didn’t have. It wasn’t like it was anyone’s fault that Jaehyo had slept in tonight either. It was kind of Jiho’s fault that Jaehyo had gotten caught up in bed. Jaehyo couldn’t really blame the guy though. They’d both needed that.

All of that didn’t help the panic rising inside Jaehyo. This was his last night and he needed to say his goodbyes. It was probably just his paranoia but he couldn’t be confident about this decision. His gut kept telling him to expect the worst. So that’s what he was doing even though his brain said not to worry.

“Did Jihoon mention when he might be back?” Jaehyo asked. He flinched, hearing the fear in his voice. He needed to see his boys one last time. Yukwon and Jihoon. Kyung and Taeil too but he’d lived with and taken care of the former pair for years.

“No clue. I think he’s been seeing this guy for awhile though so I dunno if he’ll be back before morning,” Mino answered. He looked up from his phone. “Why do you ask?” There was concern all over his face.

“It’s nothing,” Jaehyo lied. He crossed the room, putting an arm around Mino. They hadn’t really interacted before but Jaehyo still considered Mino as one of his boys. “Thank you,” he whispered as he hugged Mino. “I’m so glad you ended up coming here.”

Placing a light kiss on the younger man’s cheek, Jaehyo felt guilty as he continued on. “Please keep an eye on Jihoon for me. I know you’ll do it anyways but...as one person who cares about him to another, I’m still asking for this favor.”

A moment passed. Nothing. Mino soaked it in. Finally, he gave a slow and understanding nod. “You’re getting turned soon.” He didn’t sound mad. A sad sort of resignation filled his voice.

“Tomorrow,” Jaehyo answered. “As soon as the sun sets.” The longer he was in the ground, the better according to Jiho.

“Shit.”

“Pretty much.” Jaehyo smiled sadly. “Let me tell the others. Please?”

Mino nodded. “Yeah, that’s for you to do.”

“I always liked you.” Jaehyo gave another hug. “Such a smart kid.”

Mino laughed. “I had plans to go see a friend’s show but I can cancel if you want me to stay.”

He shook his head. “No, go be with your friend,” Jaehyo said. “Have fun at the show.”

A grin and an “I will” were the gifts Mino left for Jaehyo. Despite what this night way, life had to go on. With no one else around though, Jaehyo wasn’t sure what to do. He’d figured this would take awhile. He’d figured wrong.

Jiho was in the front room, looking up at the sky. The view wasn’t great. They had an apartment building there that blocked most of their view. Jiho didn’t seem to mind though. Jaehyo came over, standing next to him.

“You told them already?” Jiho asked.

Jaehyo shook his head. He could feel the panic rising in himself again. A cold hand slipped into his. “Everyone’s gone tonight.” He couldn’t help the fear in his voice.

“That’s okay. It’s only temporary. Besides, they’ll be back before sunset,” Jiho assured. He rubbed his thumb over the back of Jaehyo’s hand. It was an oddly comforting gesture. Jaehyo hated how weak he was feeling right now. He didn’t want to rely on Jiho so much. This whole process was hard on Jiho too. If anything, it was probably harder on the guy. He was the one who’d be ending Jaehyo’s mortal life. Who would stand watch over whatever Jaehyo would become.

He didn’t want to think anymore. Bringing Jiho’s fingers to his lip, Jaehyo took the time to kiss each one. “Come with me,” he said, his voice soft yet commanding as he led Jiho towards the stairs.

By the time Jaehyo felt okay with the situation again, Yukwon had returned. The hardest one. Of course. But the most important one too. Jaehyo quickly re-dressed. He had to steel himself as he walked out of the house and onto the front steps were Yukwon sat watching his puppy.

“Everything okay?” Yukwon asked. He grinned, adding, “you look really tired.”

He felt tired. His body was sore, not quite used to the amount of action he’d been putting it through tonight. “It’s been a long night.”

Not really. The night was going by in a flash. Everytime he was in bed with Jiho, it felt like time stopped. Then he got up and found out that hours had passed.

“I need to tell you something.” The words hurt to say. Jaehyo didn’t want to say them but he had to. “It’s tomorrow night.”

“What’s tomo…” Yukwon’s voice trailed off.

“Yeah.” Jaehyo didn’t know what to say. He was so nervous right now. Telling Mino had been worlds easier.

A darkness entered Yukwon’s eyes. It was jarring to see, so at odds with Yukwon’s normal, cheery self. “Why are you telling me now?” The anger in his voice was enough to hurt anyone. Jaehyo felt the heat of anger of rolling off Yukwon.

The high from earlier wore off in an instant. Jaehyo sank to the step. “I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say.

“How long have you known?” If Jaehyo’s heart wasn’t already aching, the sheer amount of pain and anger from Yukwon just now would have done it.

“A while.” A month. That wasn’t information Yukwon needed to hear though. It would only make his anger worse. “I didn’t want you to feel like there was some ticking, doomsday-esque clock hanging over us.”

“It didn’t work,” Yukwon was quick to point out.

Jaehyo gave an acknowledging nod. “I understand that now.” He wanted to reach over and touch Yukwon, reassure him that it would all be okay. He didn’t dare do it. Yukwon didn’t anger easily but when he did, he stayed that way. Only time would help. Time and massive amounts of apologies.

“Are we going to get a chance to say goodbye or anything?” Yukwon kept his eyes on the small puppy. Apparently she’d found a stick and was playing with it if her growls were anything to go by.

“What do you think this is?” The words tasted bitter in his mouth. Jaehyo regretted them instantly.

“You’re an asshole.” Yukwon wouldn’t look at him. “This is you trying to make yourself feel better.”

The problem with this whole situation was that Yukwon knew just the right words to say that would hurt Jaehyo the most. There was truth in them too which was why they hurt. It was something Jaehyo hadn’t realized until it’d been said. He’d been keeping this news to himself so he wouldn’t have to face his death every time he looked at his boys. He had said it was for them but it wasn’t. It’d been for himself.

Yukwon picked up the pup and went in. Jaehyo wanted to follow but he couldn’t. He didn’t have the strength. All he wanted was for this all to go right. Instead, it felt like he’d messed this all up. Mino had gone well but he’d fucked it all up with Yukwon. And at this point, he was starting to think he’d never see the rest of the boys.

He was about to head in for good. The sun was threatening to peek over the horizon. Night was up and he still hadn’t seen Kyung, Taeil, or Jihoon. And things with Yukwon were complete and utter shit. He’d definitely done this all wrong.

Jiho came out and sat next to him. “I fucked up.” Jaehyo could hear his own pain. It sounded like he was about to cry which was rather accurate. An arm wrapped around his shoulders.

“He’s just upset.”Jiho sounded so calm. He sounded like this didn’t bother him. For some reason, that made this both better and worse.

“It’s not just him. I haven’t seen most of them tonight.” And that just made him feel worse. He needed to say goodbye. He needed on last chance to see them. Even Taeil.

The arm around him pulled Jaehyo closer. “You’ll have a chance to see them tomorrow,” Jiho said. His voice was soft and that’s what did it. Jaehyo covered his eyes, trying to hide the tears stinging his eyes. He refused to give in, to be weak, to cry. Not even when Jiho was the only one around. He just wouldn’t.

“Come on,” his voice, soft and low in Jaehyo’s ear, said. Pulling Jaehyo up, he said the sweetest words Jaehyo had heard all night. “Let’s go to bed.”


	27. don't leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me too much

Hunger ripped through him, tearing him from sleep. It hurt and all his instincts cried for him to grab the nearest human, to suck him dry. Since the nearest human was Jaehyo, that was the plan. Jiho squashed the beast of hunger, locking it away for a little longer. The feral, wild part of him couldn’t help but get excited that he’d finally get a chance to lose control. It had been so long since he’d allowed himself that freedom.

His heart ached, trying to convince him to go back to sleep. Maybe, it whispered, he could sleep through the night and delay this for at least another month. And that was plenty of time to keep coming up with all sorts of reasons to continue pushing it off.

Jaehyo shifted. Momentary panic coursed through Jiho. He almost sighed in relief when Jaehyo stayed asleep. He hoped Jaehyo never woke. As long as Jaehyo was asleep, he was alive. And Jiho wasn’t ready for this to end yet.

His hunger longed to bite the human. To taste his rich, sweet, magic-filled blood. Jaehyo had always been his favorite to feed from. As time went on, Jiho had been finding it harder and harder to resist taking too much.

He was scared. Jiho wouldn’t say it. He hadn’t said it. Fear gnawed at him though. He didn’t know if this would work. When his brother had attempted to change, to turn, the guy had been a vampire’s servant for a few years. Jiho himself had been one for nearly a decade. Jaehyo had been with him for multiple centuries. Jaehyo wasn’t a vampire (not yet) but at this point, was he still human? There was no way. Jiho had no concrete, solid proof but he’d been doubting just how human Jaehyo was for awhile now. A few things just didn’t add up if Jaehyo were still fully human.

None of the other humans could manipulate the house like Jaehyo could. They struggled to raise and lower the protection wards. They found it hard to even sense them at times. And none of them had ever been able to sense where others in the house were. Hell, Jiho himself couldn’t do that. Not like Jaehyo could. Sure, Jiho could figure out where people were. He could hear their hearts beating even through all the walls and doors and floors. Knowledge of where everyone was usually found let him make generally accurate guesses as to who was where. Except Jaehyo. There was something about Jaehyo that made him different. Jiho could feel Jaehyo in a way that he couldn’t with any of the others. From what he’d been told by Jaehyo, it sounded something similar to Jaehyo’s own ability except Jaehyo’s extended to everyone within the house.

This change scared Jiho. What if Jaehyo wasn’t human enough to make the change?

More shifting. He’d wake soon. The moment wasn’t going to last much longer. At least Jaehyo still needed to see and say goodbye to a few of the guys. Maybe it would take a long time and they could postpone this.

“Huh?” Was the first thing out of Jaehyo’s mouth. “How are you awake?”

He was so cute when he was confused. Jiho almost kissed him. Fear held him back. It sucked but right now Jiho didn’t trust himself. The hunger in him was growing. His control was as thin as a wire and it could snap at any moment. He needed to feed, to feast. He’d spent the last week starving himself. That was how he’d prepared for this and it would take nothing for his hunger to overwhelm him right now.

“You slept in,” Jiho teased. It hurt to speak. His jaw was aching from the stress of clenching it.

“You were supposed to wake me if you got up first,” Jaehyo scolded. He shifted, coming too close. Jiho wanted to scream but he was afraid to open his mouth. He needed space. Jaehyo was just too close.

Jiho got out of bed. He walked as far as he could get while still being in the room. The distance helped. At least he felt confident enough to speak. “You were too cute to wake.”

Jaehyo grumbled a refusal, going red. He sat and Jiho had to restrain himself. The blanket fell, pooling in Jaehyo’s lap. No shirt, just bare skin that made Jiho long to mark it. To let Jaehyo know that he belonged to Jiho. And then there was Jaehyo’s hair. It was sticking up in every direction. Jiho licked his lips. Oh how delicious the man looked right now.

“Ready to go find the guys?” Jiho asked. He needed to change the subject, to get his mind off devouring Jaehyo.

There was an unexpected quietness that settled around Jaehyo. He bit lip. Something was making him nervous. Was he backing out? Jiho tried not to smile as a sprout of hope took root.

“About that…” the hesitation in Jaehyo’s voice was great. _Please back out_ Jiho’s heart whispered.

“Yeah?” Jiho hoped that the hope in his voice wasn’t too obvious.

Jaehyo took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and re-opened them slowly. His brown eyes, usually so soft and doe-y, were lit with a fierce fire that threatened to burn anyone they looked at. It was rather sexy (not that that was on Jiho’s mind right now or anything).

“Do it now.”

Obviously Jiho’s ears weren’t working. There was no way he’d just hear Jaehyo say th- “Jiho, I’m serious.” The words cut right across Jiho’s disbelief.

“You have to speak to the guys,” Jiho pointed out. Jaehyo had to. Because if he didn’t that would mean that Jiho wouldn’t be able to stall for more time.

Jaehyo shook his head. “No. No, I don’t.” He pushed the blanket to the side, swinging his legs to dangle over the edge. “Do it now, Jiho.” He shifted, putting the bite scar on his neck on display.

Instinctively, Jiho licked his lips in anticipation. He wanted to bite down so badly it hurt. He held himself back.

“If I see them, I don’t think I’ll have the strength to do it,” Jaehyo admitted. There was a layer of shame in his voice that only made the happiness Jiho felt turn to guilt.

“That’s probably a sign to not do this.” Jiho tried to keep any trace of emotion out of his voice. Judging by Jaehyo’s reaction, he knew he failed.

Jaehyo shook his head. “No. No, I do want it. I’m just...I fucked up with Yukwon and I don’t want to do that with the rest of them.”

The words made sense in a twisted sort of way but Jiho didn’t like them. They were clouded with emotion. It was clear that Jaehyo wasn’t thinking clearly. “Jaehyo…”

“Don’t.” That one word came out in such an un-Jaehyo-like manner that it killed the words in Jiho’s throat. “Jiho, I thought about it for long time after the sun rose last night. I want it to happen and now. I’m not usually selfish but I am now.”

Uneasiness filled Jiho as he realized Jaehyo was completely serious. He didn’t like this. Not one bit. But he would do it.

Crossing the room, he sat on the bed next to Jaehyo. “You better come back to us.” Jiho put as much force and power into his voice as he could. He wouldn’t share how unhappy this made him. How much he didn’t want to do this. That would be his burden to bear. Jaehyo had enough on him. He didn’t need Jiho’s feelings added to the mix.

Jaehyo laughed. It was a sweet laugh and it only made Jiho hate himself more for what was about to come. “Yeah, I plan on it,” Jaehyo said. “There’s too much left for me to do and people I need to take care of.”

Now wasn’t that the honest truth? Jaehyo was leaving a lot of things unresolved, in particular the whole situation with Yukwon.

Pulling Jaehyo close, Jiho nuzzled the bite scar on the man’s neck. How many times had he fed from this exact spot? It was so clear and defined with age and use. He kissed it one time. A thank you? He wasn’t sure. Jaehyo was giving him a gift, enough to blood to finally satiate the hunger that normally clawed at Jiho. Jaehyo’s presence all these years had been a gift. Without Jaehyo here to keep him sane, Jiho didn’t know where or who he’d be now.

He bit down.

Rich, metallic blood flooded his mouth. The hunger that had been growing in him, biding its time, roared to life. Jiho closed his eyes. Between the rumbling in his ears and no seeing, Jiho was able to lose himself in the blood. If Jaehyo said anything, Jiho didn’t hear it. He drank. He just drank and drank and drank. Jaehyo went limp and still Jiho drank. It never seemed to end.

Jiho felt like he’d burst. There was so much blood and it was thick with magic. He felt like he’d explode and he longed to stop but he could still feel a faint pulse beating in Jaehyo’s heart. Something wet trailed down his face. He could feel it on his cheeks and he wished to wipe whatever it was away. He couldn’t. He needed both his hands in order to hold Jaehyo’s limp body.

_Thump._

It was softer now. Jiho could barely hear, feel, it. The sound grew softer and slower.

 _Thu-_ the moment took an eternity to finish _-ump_.

Several moments passed and there was nothing. The warmth he’d always associated with Jaehyo was fading. He was impossibly pale. A corpse.

He was a fucking corpse. And it was all because of Jiho. If he didn’t come back, it was all Jiho’s fault because he was an idiot. He let Jaehyo push too much and now Jaehyo was gone. Well, would be if Jiho didn’t do something about it.

That thought was what did it. He wasn’t about to just let Jaehyo go, not without a fight. There was only one way Jiho knew how to cheat death. Jiho bit down on his own wrist, fighting not to gag as he tasted more blood. He let his dark, magic-filled vampire blood well up as he brought his wrist to Jaehyo’s mouth, forcing it open. Filling the man’s mouth with blood, Jiho waited for some sort of reaction.

Nothing.

 _No._ Horror flooded him. Had he done it wrong? Did Jaehyo need more? Blood was trickling out of the corner of Jaehyo’s mouth. He wasn’t responding at all. Fear froze Jiho as he didn’t want to think about what might have happened.

Soft drops of red dropped onto Jaehyo’s face. Jiho spared a moment to touch the wetness on his own face. He’d been able to ignore it before but he couldn’t any longer. He was able to see them for what they were. Blood. Tears of blood that he couldn’t stop even though he knew he couldn’t be wasting the precious gift Jaehyo had given him. Despair, a wave that was almost overwhelming, mixed with the horror and it took everything in Jiho to not throw up. He was sick. He was a twisted, terrible person. How the fuck could he do this? How had he let Jaehyo talk him into this? He’d fucked this all up and now Jaehyo was gone. Jaehyo was gone and he was supposed to have responded but he didn’t so obviously Jiho had done this all fucking wrong.

In the back of his head, a voice whispered that he needed to move. It said he didn’t have all night and he needed to hurry. Jaehyo needed to be put in the earth because there was more to this magic than just blood. But Jiho didn’t want to move. Everything in him just wanted to stay here in their bed, curled up with what was left of Jaehyo, holding him close. If he closed his eyes and blocked out everything, he might almost be able to trick himself into thinking that Jaehyo was just asleep.

It was surprising how light Jaehyo’s body was. Carrying him was awkward. Jaehyo was too damn long.

Yukwon was sitting on the ground next to the grave. He didn’t say anything and Jiho didn’t see the shock on his face. He didn’t see the hand reaching out and falling away. All Jiho saw was the grave he’d dug.

Footsteps indicated more had come. Not that Jiho noticed. His focus was on spreading his blood all across the body he’d set oh so carefully down at the bottom of the grave. He wasn’t sure why he was doing this. The action just felt right.

Zico climbed out of the grave. Not saying a word to the humans, five of them, who had gathered around, he began to fill in the grave. At this point, all they could do was pray. Either they would gain a vampire or this grave would stand as a testament of his greatest failure.

The humans spoke softly. Sadness and anger permeated from the group but Zico couldn’t tell what they were saying. The vampire just stood there, eyes completely focused on the now filled in grave. He knew it would be three nights before they knew.

He stood there until dawn began peeking over the horizon. He knew he had to go in soon. If he didn’t, the sun was eat him alive and there would be no one to take care of Jaehyo when he returned. Yukwon said something and the other humans answered him. Just as Zico was forced in, one of their voices finally broke through the fog that had surrounded him. He recognized the voice as Jihoon’s and the words he spoke broke what was left of Zico’s nonexistent heart.

“You have to come back.”


	28. you still linger in my heart

“You’re an idiot.” He didn’t know if he was speaking to himself or to Jaehyo. Maybe both of them. It was hard to say. Yukwon kicked the ground before sinking into a crouch. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”

He’d been a child last night. Jaehyo had warned him a couple of weeks ago that this was so soon. When he’d mentioned it would be tonight, Yukwon was shocked. Hurt that Jaehyo hadn’t trusted him with the knowledge earlier. He’d lashed out in anger.

It was hard to be angry now. Honestly, all his anger had faded the moment he’d seen Zico carrying Jaehyo. Once he’d seen the sheer amount of blood that’d covered both of them. Fear and regret and panic were all Yukwon felt now.

The sun rose. Yukwon barely even noticed. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the fresh dirt. Jaehyo was in there. He was all alone. Zico had been forced in hours ago by the sun. The others had gone inside at some point as well. He didn’t know when. It was hard to pay attention to anything right now. He didn’t want to stay here. He wanted to go in, to pretend like everything was okay but he just couldn’t. Leaving Jaehyo alone just seemed wrong and he couldn’t bring himself to leave.

“You okay?” Kyung asked. He’d come out and sat next to Yukwon at some point.

Yukwon didn’t know how to answer that. “We got into a fight last night.” The words just kind of slipped out. He hadn’t meant to say that but apparently they’d had a mind of their own. It was too late to take them back . “He didn’t tell anyone until last night and I got upset about it.”

“Understandable.” Kyung had an unusual sort of sadness to him. Given the circumstances, it really wasn’t that unusual. They were sitting next to Jaehyo’s grave after all. It was just strange to see Kyung sad. Normally he was an upbeat sort of guy. “I didn’t even get to see him. To talk to him before…”

A whole new wave of guilt washed over Yukwon. He’d gotten to see Jaehyo. To have one last potential conversation with him. That was more than many in their house had gotten. He shouldn’t be moping. He was though. He couldn’t help it.

“Where’d you go?” Yukwon asked. He’d noticed that Kyung was spending less time at home, that he was gone more often than not nowadays.

Kyung’s cheeks went pink. Yukwon smiled. This was going to be good. Glancing at the ground, Yukwon felt his smile grow. This was just the sort of thing that Jaehyo would have been bugging Kyung about, wanting details.

“Boyfriend’s apartment,” Kyung mumbled.

Oh now this was good. Yukwon poked his companion in the side. “You sleeping with him now? Haven’t you only been dating a couple of months?”

From the way Kyung’s blush deepened, Yukwon could guess the answer to that. “We’ve slept in his bed.” Kyung sounded like he wanted to die of embarrassment. “But it’s just been sleeping. No sex.”

Yukwon had to bite back a laugh. “You are way too innocent. How in the world can you share a bed and not do something?”

“Like you’re one to talk. At least I’ve got someone.”

He knew Kyung hadn’t meant to hurt. Still, that didn’t stop her smile from flashing in Yukwon’s mind. Her melodic laugh dancing in his memories. Of course it would happen now, when he’d just been dealt this blow of losing Jaehyo. “Not now,” Yukwon admitted even though he didn’t want to.

Something in how he said that much have showed because Kyung frowned. “Sorry,” the guy apologized. Yukwon smiled. Kyung was such a nice, good-hearted kid.

“It’s fine.” It still hurt but he’d come to accept that had happened. “It was a long time ago.” Long before Kyung was born anyways.

“Want to share?” Kyung still seemed off compared to his normal self. Still, given the situation, it was understandable. Normally Yukwon would have told the guy no. After all, it was a moment of his life that Yukwon didn’t like to think about, let alone talk about. Sitting here, at Jaehyo’s grave, made him reconsider. It would be nice to have someone who knew (well okay, Zico knew too). And it’d serve as a good warning for Kyung.

“She was a kind-hearted soul. Sweet and nice, someone who just made the whole world feel right. I loved her from the moment I met her and just...when I was with her, I saw a different sort of future. One that could have been a more normal life that went the whole traditional route with a house and a job and kids. She made me want to leave this place.” Yukwon hated how sad just thinking about her could still make him. She’d truly been a special person. “I nearly did.”

“What happened? I mean, it’s pretty obvious that you didn’t leave,” Kyung pointed out.

Yukwon closed his eyes. Instantly he felt himself flashing back to the last time he saw her, the tears in her eyes as they said good-bye to each other. He needed a few moments to mentally compose himself enough to say it. “War.”

There was confusion on Kyung’s face. Of course there was. That one word wasn’t exactly easy to understand without more context. So even though he didn’t want to, he started to elaborate. “We’ve lived here for a long time,” Yukwon explained. “This same neighborhood and the same house even.”

Wait, no. He needed to back up a little bit. “For as long as I’ve been with them,” no need to explain who that referred to, “they’ve lived in this house. It’s been remodeled a bunch over the years to make it more comfortable and safer for the people living in it but it’s still the same house, the same land. We lived here and she lived nearby.”

“How’d you meet?” Kyung asked. He seemed to be drinking it all in which helped make it easier to tell him.

“Her father ran a restaurant and needed help. She could help him in the restaurant but he wanted someone who could help with drunks and deliveries so I started working for them.” If only it was that simple to get a job now. “Life wasn’t the greatest but it wasn’t terrible. We were getting by here and I really liked the family I was working for. Then war happened.”

Those had been dark days. They’d all been worried about what would happen. What they’d do if they had to leave. How they could try to leave when Zico couldn’t be exposed to sunlight. And Yukwon had been worried about her and her family too.

“We ended up leaving, going south where it was safer,” Yukwon said. “Zico hated it but we basically shoved him into a box in the wagon that was carrying everything we took with us.” He’d hated it but he’d dealt with it so they could all be safe. He’d tried to push them to go all the way to Busan but Jaehyo had dug his heels in on that one. Yukwon could practically hear those two arguing about that but in the end, Jaehyo had won it and they’d stayed away from Busan. Granted, it probably helped that Jaehyo had threatened to go back north where there was fighting. He’d seemed just determined enough to do it too.

“When we came back, we found the house still standing. It’d been used and ransacked and needed repairs but it was still standing,” Yukwon continued on. “I went looking for her and her family but…” he shook his head. He hated thinking about it, talking about it. “They disappeared at some point while we were gone. Just there one day, gone the next.” Which wasn’t entirely unusual. After all, that’s what his house had essentially done.

He really didn’t know what had happened. “I searched for her, asked everyone if they knew what had happened to them but no one knew anything.”

The pessimist in him knew what could have happened. That they’d gotten caught up in the fighting and died. That she might have been taken. That they had gone north and got caught there. But he didn’t want any of those guesses to be right. Instead, he always let himself picture her and her family having a much happier fate. One where they’d also gone south and she’d met someone else who she’d fallen in love with. One where she’d started a family, full of great children who loved her. One where she had lived a long and full life full of love and family.

Kyung was quiet which was fine by him. Yukwon felt like he needed the silence too. Remembering that chapter of his life right now made him miss Jaehyo more than ever. Jaehyo who had encouraged him to tell her how he felt. Jaehyo who had told Yukwon it was okay to leave them, that they’d understand if he’d rather continue his life with her. Jaehyo who had held him when Yukwon had realized she was gone and it was too late, that he’d be unable to find her.

But that Jaehyo was gone.

Knowing that Kyung had started trying to navigate the world of dating while living in a vampire’s household, Yukwon decided to give him a little advice that the guy needed to hear. “If you love someone, you have to be able to make a choice and stick to it. I loved her but back then, I couldn’t commit to a life with her. And then I lost her.”

It had been a tough lesson to learn but it’d been an important one. Yukwon had needed to learn it because it was something he hadn’t even considered before then. The lesson had been a painful one and he still wasn’t sure he’d made the right choice. In all the years since, he’d never met anyone else who came close to her. She’d truly been one of a kind (which was was something he’d already known anyways).

“Things between him and me aren’t that serious.” Kyung sounded nervous. It was a cute and fitting emotion for the moment. They needed more light in their lives, stuff to remind them that not everything was so serious and had consequences.

“I figured that,” Yukwon replied. After all, Kyung had barely just started dating this guy. He hadn’t even brought him over to meet anyone yet. “But it’s still something you should keep in mind.”

\---

Minho was snoring. He usually did but it felt louder now. It was probably just that the guy was able to sleep at all. Honestly, Jihoon didn’t know how his friend could sleep right now. It felt so impossibly far away at the moment.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Zico with Jaehyo’s body. The blood on both of them. Jaehyo’s already pale skin that unnatural shade that could only belong to a corpse. He was going to have nightmares about that for months.

He couldn’t actually see the grave from the window in his room. Jihoon couldn’t help but be relieved about that. Yukwon was still out there though. Jihoon could see the guy’s blond hair shining in the sunlight. He was definitely stronger than Jihoon. It had been so impossibly hard to stay out there, to watch. He had to do it though so he had.

Staying quiet so he wouldn’t wake Minho, Jihoon left their room. He didn’t want to be alone right now and yes, while he technically hadn’t been alone, he didn’t count a sleeping Minho as much company either. Kyung’s room looked dark so he was either asleep or gone. It didn’t matter. Kyung wasn’t the one he wanted to see.

Nerves fluttered in Jihoon as he knocked on Taeil’s open door. The guy was inside, fiddling with a tank that had fish inside it. He wondered what kind they were and made a mental note to ask Taeil about them sometime.

Any thoughts he had were driven out of his head when Taeil glanced over at him and gave a little acknowledging nod. Jihoon took that as his sign to come in. The room was more decorated now and it helped make the room feel like it was Taeil’s now. A chair was set up, off to the side but not in an awkward spot either so Jihoon sat down. Or rather, sank into it. He could have tried to get up but he felt like he’d only struggle and it’d make him look foolish.

“Yeah, beware the chair. It eats people,” Taeil warned too late. Jihoon couldn’t tell if that was on purpose or not. “What brings you here?”

It was a fair question. They weren’t exactly friends. Their entire relationship so far consisted of them having sex with each other. They didn’t hang out. They didn’t do things together like friends would. They just had sex. Really good sex but that was it for them.

Jihoon didn’t come here for sex. At the moment, the idea of trying to lose himself in it just felt wrong. How could he feel happy right now? Besides, their relationship wasn’t really supposed to include feelings. But it did and Jihoon couldn’t help himself or them. Trying to use sex right now would only cheapen those feelings and also help them grow. Both of those things were not what Jihoon wanted.

“I didn’t want to be alone,” is what he told Taeil. Closing his eyes, Jihoon tried to ignore the bloody image that greeted him immediately. It was easier to do now that he was around Taeil. Thanks to those pesky feelings, Jihoon just couldn’t relax. Part of his mind could only focus on the small man in the room.

“Are you having trouble trying to sleep?” There was concern in Taeil’s voice. It was a new thing and Jihoon felt his heart speed up a little. He nodded, still leaving his eyes closed. Being down here with Taeil made the rest of the world feel far away. It wasn’t a bad thing. Jihoon rather liked how it felt right now, like they were the only ones in their own little world.

“Want to talk about it?” Taeil offered. Jihoon opened his eyes, surprised at the offer. He hadn’t realized it but Taeil was closer now, sitting on his bed and watching Jihoon.

Jihoon gave a little shrug. “I just…” he couldn’t say it. The words were on the tip of his tongue but they wouldn’t come out.

Taeil sat there watching him. Jihoon wanted to squirm under the power of the man’s gaze but he was afraid the chair would continue in its quest to eat him if he did that. “You’ve been here for years,” the older man said.

The statement threw Jihoon. He nodded. “Yeah, I came after I turned fifteen so it’s been about five years now.”

A look of disbelief filled Taeil’s face as he shook his head. “You’ve been here with them for a long time,” he said.

Jihoon wasn’t quite sure who the man was talking to. Where was Taeil going with it? “Yeah,” he confirmed. He couldn’t help the smile as a memory came to him. “Jaehyo-hyung wouldn’t let me stay unless I went to high school and graduated.”

At first, he’d wanted to hate Jaehyo for giving him that condition. Not having to go to school was supposed to be a perk of leaving his family’s home. But Jaehyo had insisted and whatever Jaehyo said went.

Taeil looked genuinely impressed by that. “He was really looking out for you.”

It hurt to hear Jaehyo being talked about in the past tense. He knew it wasn’t a purposeful use of it and even if Jaehyo weren’t buried outside, that’s still how Taeil would have phrased things. So Jihoon knew the pain he felt was silly and he tried to ignore how it ached.

“Jaehyo-hyung’s like the big brother I never had but always wanted,” Jihoon said, trying to explain what the man meant to him. He wasn’t sure he was doing the best job of it but he had to try. “I grew up an only child. Minho and I were basically inseparable as kids but it just...it wasn’t the same. I wanted a big brother.”

That sentiment had only gotten stronger when mom got sick. And then when she got sick again, worse this time, and then again when she’d died. Jihoon had just wanted someone who understood how he felt. Someone who could have shared that burden with him. Who could have helped him deal with the aftermath, the pain, the feelings of life never being able to be right again. Minho had tried but he just didn’t understand. He couldn’t. The guy still had his whole family.

“Brothers are overrated,” Taeil said with a grin on his face. There was a fun, playfulness to his voice that helped bring Jihoon out of the funk his own thoughts had let him to. “I’ve got a couple of siblings. Little brother and an older sister.”

Well that was news to Jihoon. Taeil hadn’t been the most forthcoming about himself and Jihoon was intrigued by the new information. “How old are they?” Because hey, if Taeil was going to share, he was going to take advantage of the moment.

Taeil shrugged. “There’s some age gaps between us,” he admitted. Making a face, he added, “it’s probably why I freaked out on you and your age. My brother’s only a little younger than you.”

In a way, it did make sense. The missing puzzle piece that had confused Jihoon, had left him wondering just why Taeil had made such a fuss, clicked into place. Jihoon almost asked if he could meet them one day. He held himself back.

“I’m an only child,” he instead told Taeil. He’d already said it but he wanted to make it clear. “I’ve got some cousins but we’re not close.” At this point, he wasn’t exactly close with anyone in his family.

Tail chuckled, obviously amused. “You already said that but I kind of figured it out before now. You like attention too much to have any siblings.”

Well shit. Jihoon felt heat across his face and all down his neck. Waving his hand, he tried to cool himself down. Taeil just kept laughing.

“You’re cute when you’re like this,” he told Jihoon. He was so not helpful.

“I’m not cute,” was all Jihoon could say in response. He was handsome. The cute one here was Taeil. Not that he was brave enough to actually say that to Taeil’s face but that was definitely where Jihoon’s feelings on the matter laid. Taeil just laughed even harder.

Maybe it was because it was Taeil. Maybe it was thanks to all the stress that Jihoon had been through today. Or maybe it was just the sheer insanity of the situation getting to him. It didn’t matter. Jihoon couldn’t help but join in, laughing with Taeil. He could feel his heart getting lighter.


	29. we’re standing at the threshold of happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No apologies for this

Taeil looked at the figure sleeping in his bed. He couldn’t help the soft smile as he looked at Jihoon. This was definitely not the sort of situation he’d expected himself to be in when he’d gone out that night a few weeks ago. Taeil hadn’t been looking for this. Not exactly anyways. He’d wanted something casual and easy to walk away from. A thing where there were no feelings.

Jihoon had feelings for him. The guy was struggling not to let it show but they were obvious. The surprising part to Taeil was that he didn’t mind. As a general rule, Taeil didn’t do serious relationships. Too much went wrong in them (though he had always admired the one Zico and Jaehyo had - if he was going to have one, he wanted it to be like theirs). But with Jihoon...there was just something about him that Taeil couldn’t help but like. Be drawn to.

He wasn’t sure what this relationship between them was. They weren’t simple fuckbuddies. Not anymore. Not since Taeil had invited Jihoon to Junho’s place. He’d wanted Jihoon to see a little more of his life even back then. And friends with benefits didn’t sound all that appropriate either. That implied they were friends and they weren't. Not really. And what they were doing wasn’t dating either so what the hell was this?

A noise outside his door caught Taeil’s attention. Kyung had Yukwon’s arm slung around his shoulders. He was helping the guy walk, something Yukwon clearly needed since he could barely stand.

“Need some help?” Taeil offered, hoping that Jihoon wouldn’t wake up.

“Could you get his door?” Kyung asked. “He basically passed out when we reached the bottom step.”

Ouch, that was tough. When Taeil got closer, he could see that Yukwon’s eyes had rolled to the back of his head. The guy had to be exhausted if he was passing out like that. Working together, the two of them got Yukwon settled in his bed.

“Did you ever think this would turn into such a mess?” Kyung asked as he shut Yukwon’s door. Instinctively, Taeil glanced towards his own room. It was a silly move since he couldn’t see his bed from the doorway (something he’d done on purpose) which meant he couldn’t see if Jihoon had woken up or not.

“Not this fast,” Taeil admitted. “Jaehyo warned me but…” The marked difference in the three who had been here the longest was crazy. Zico and Yukwon had basically gone numb from the looks of things. Jihoon had become needy. If this was what things were like when Jaehyo left, Taeil could start to understand the mess that had been hinted at before. He thought they’d been exaggerating but apparently not. And it all just felt so silly too because Jaehyo would be back soon.

“I wonder how long this is going to take.” Kyung didn’t sound like he was looking for an answer so Taeil didn’t give one. Not like he had one anyways.

Leaning against the frame of his door, Taeil watched Kyung pace around the floor’s common room. “I don’t think it’s going to be quick,” Kyung continued. “Did you see that chart in the kitchen?”

Taeil snorted in amusement. “Yeah.” It was ridiculous. “We’ve already failed at following it.” Not much they could do about that. Besides, he kind of got the feeling that Jaehyo would rather they look after the people than the house when it came down to it.

From behind him, Taeil heard shifting. Had Jihoon woken up? He wanted to look but he didn’t want to call Kyung’s attention to the guy. This thing between him and Jihoon...Taeil wasn’t ready to share just yet. Whatever it was, it was between him and Jihoon and only them.

“I’m...I’ve never believed them,” Kyung admitted. “The whole energy around here has shifted.”

Taeil gave a little nod. He hadn’t been here long enough to really be able to make that call but he trusted Kyung’s judgement. A yawn hit him which was nice. It gave him the perfect excuse to send Kyung on his way.

Which also meant he was alone with Jihoon. The guy was still sleeping thankfully. He looked so young and innocent now. So different from their first, and honestly every other, encounter. This guy was soft. It made Taeil want to protect him. That was so unlike his usual self that it gave Taeil pause.

He didn’t do serious relationships. That was the single rule Taeil had always clung to. Relationships were supposed to be short and casual. No one got hurt that way. That’s why his type usually skewed older and married. That kept everyone safe from catching feelings, just the way Taeil liked it.

Jihoon was neither of those things. But he’d intrigued Taeil. That was why he’d approached the guy at first. He hadn’t expected Jihoon to be as fun and as special as he was. Life just seemed to be throwing Jihoon at him too which only made the situation worse.

Another yawn hit Taeil. Taking it as a sign to turn off his brain, Taeil curled up in his bed. He wasn’t sure what it was but almost instantly, he felt himself getting pulled into Jihoon’s arms. Taeil automatically bristled at the motion. He hated being seen as weak. But there was something in the way Jihoon clung so desperately that it made Taeil realize this was something Jihoon needed. That he didn’t see Taeil as someone who was weak. Rather, it was the opposite. He saw Taeil as a source of strength.

Taeil knew right then just how badly he’d caught feelings.

\---

Jaehyo was shivering. As he watched, Jiho wasn’t sure if it was because the guy was cold or for some other reason. It was hard to tell. Their little home was chilly. To a human, it was probably downright freezing. Jiho knew he didn’t exactly feel cold the same way as most humans so it was hard to gauge just how cold it really was.

He was a beautiful man. Jiho had been struck by that thought from the very first moment he’d spotted Jaehyo. In the couple of months since Jaehyo had come to stay with him, Jiho had been hit by that exact realization a countless number of times. But he was also starting to see that that beauty went deeper. It went down to the boy and Jaehyo’s very soul shone with it. Before, when Jaehyo still lived on the river’s edge, Jiho had caught glimpses of that beautiful soul but those peeks hadn’t done the truth any sort of justice.

He’d told Jaehyo he wouldn’t feed off him without permission. There were times it had been hard to hold himself to that but Jiho was determined not to screw things up. Not this time. He’d learned his lesson with Taewoon.

A pang went through Jiho as he remembered the man. Even though he knew he’d done everything he could, he still felt like he’d failed Taewoon. He wouldn’t do that again. He’d do better by Jaehyo.

Soft whimpers drew Jiho’s attention back to the human he was currently with. Crouching, JIho tentatively reached over and place his hand on Jaehyo’s cheek. It must have gotten through because Jaehyo instantly woke. His eyes were wild, unfocused. He didn’t appear to recognize where they were or even who Jiho was. Not a surprise. This was how Jaehyo seemed to wake up half the time.

“It’s just me,” Jiho said. He kept his voice soft and welcoming, like he did each time Jaehyo woke up in a panicked state. He’d made his promise that he’d never hurt Jaehyo and Jiho fully intended to keep it. Recognition slowly entered Jaehyo’s eyes. He sat up quickly, a flush of embarrassment spreading across his face.

“Everything okay?” Jiho asked. It was clear something had disturbed Jaehyo. He wanted to know but at the same time, Jiho wouldn’t push. He wanted to but he was afraid that if he asked, if he tried to find out, it would only push Jaehyo away.

“A…” there was a tired weariness to Jaehyo that pulled at Jiho. It made him want to protect the human. “It was nothing I want to speak about.”

Times like now, Jiho hated how closed off Jaehyo could be. He understood though. Jaehyo’s past had demons in it just like Jiho’s own. It was just that Jiho had learned to live with his demons. Jaehyo was still figuring that out and if Jiho could figure out a way to help, he’d offer in an instant.

Jaehyo sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Did I wake you?” He sounded sheepish, the embarrassment clearly rolling off him.

Jiho stood, giving Jaehyo his space. “No. I was already awake,” he said. After all, the sun had gone down. It wasn’t like he had a choice on that. “You’re getting cold, aren’t you?” Because while Jaehyo had been asleep, Jiho had trouble telling what was making the human shiver. Now that Jaehyo was awake, it was clear the human had to be cold. His breath was a little white cloud.

More embarrassment from Jaehyo. It was endearing even though Jaehyo had nothing to be embarrassed about. Jiho just wanted the guy to be warm and comfortable. “I don’t feel the cold,” Jiho told him, trying to explain. “Please do whatever you need to do so that you’re warm. I want you to be comfortable here.”

Jaehyo was looking at him, a hint of distrust still lingering in his gaze. He’d decided to try and trust Jiho months ago when he’d agreed to live here but it was clear that he still didn’t fully trust Jiho yet. Jiho knew not to take it personally. Whatever demons Jaehyo had were clearly powerful. “Please,” Jiho added. He didn’t want to say it but he knew the next part was needed. “This place...I know it isn’t much but I want you to see it like a home. I don’t want you to be like Taewoon and feel like it isn’t.”

“Taewoon?” Curiosity filled Jaehyo’s voice as he watched Jiho add a small log to the fire. It hurt to hear the man’s name but Jiho knew he should tell Jaehyo about the man. Maybe it would even help Jaehyo trust him some more.

“You’re not the first human who has lived with me,” Jiho began. He came back over and sat across from where Jaehyo sat huddled under his blanket. “There was another before you. His name was Taewoon.”

A spark of something entered Jaehyo’s eyes. Jiho couldn’t be sure but he thought it might be jealousy. The little voice in the back of his head hoped so. The idea that Jaehyo might feel possessive about him made Jiho happy in a way he’d never felt.

“We had a history together,” Jiho continued. “Even before we came here, we’d been together for many years, since the time when I was still human.” And in those days, Jiho knew just how desperate he’d been. Jiseok was gone, lost to them and replaced by a monster that wore his brother’s body but wasn’t his brother. And he just needed someone. Anyone would do. Taewoon had been there and he’d filled that spot.

That was definitely jealousy burning in Jaehyo’s gaze. A warmth that Jiho hadn’t felt in longer than he could remember filled him. That might have been why he took pity on Jaehyo. “He helped me, basically adopted me as a little brother and I felt the same way. It was like getting my brother back.”

There was still an edge to Jaehyo’s gaze but the look in his eyes was softer after the brother comment. “What happened to him?”

“Time.” It was as simple as that. “He grew older and got sick. I offered to heal him but he refused. He refused each and every time.” There was more to the story than that but Jaehyo didn’t need to know it. He wanted Jaehyo to trust him, not to scare the guy away.

Jaehyo shook his head. “I hate to say it but that was stupid of him. If you could heal him, he might as well take advantage of that.”

Jiho knew he liked this human. “I told him that too but he wouldn’t listen to me.” And then he’d done a really stupid thing and lost his second big brother. He’d thought it hurt to tell someone about this but it surprisingly wasn’t. Instead, Jiho couldn’t help but feel a sense of calm, of peace, come over him.

“Would you heal me?” Jaehyo asked. He sounded so soft and innocent in that moment despite the selfish sounding question. It was nice to hear. It made it sound like Jaehyo would stay. That he wanted to stay. And the selfish part of Jiho really liked the sound of that.

“If you asked, I would do anything,” Jiho promised. He meant it too. There was something in him that wanted to give Jaehyo anything and everything the human asked for.

Jaehyo was biting his lip, not talking. It was clear there was something he wanted to say. So Jiho waited. He could be patient. Finally, after what felt like forever, Jaehyo finally said something. “Could you sit next to me?”

Whatever Jiho thought he’d hear, that wasn’t it. Something inside him flipped with joy. Jaehyo had clearly set boundaries between them and Jiho was too cautious to approach them. But that request...Jiho smiled at it and gave a little nod before obliging. He scooted over until he was sitting next to Jaehyo. There was a little space between them, enough so they weren’t touching.

He left that part up to Jaehyo. And Jaehyo did exactly what Jiho had hoped for. The human shifted, closing that little gap between them until he was leaning against Jiho. Had he still been human, Jiho would have said his heart stopped for a moment. But he wasn’t human and his heart had stopped beating a long time ago.

Being so close made it hard to resist the hunger. Resisting the urge to bite Jaehyo, to taste him, was getting harder and easier and all at the same time. He pushed it away, knowing that he needed to wait and earn Jaehyo’s trust first. So he sat there waiting until he was given permission to grow closer. There was something about Jaehyo that made him different from any other human Jiho had met.

\---

The sun might not even have been fully down when Zico woke. Not that that was a surprise. Tonight was the third night of the full moon. Jaehyo, at least in a form, would return to them tonight. And that was why Zico hurried out to the grave. He needed to be there when Jaehyo rose. For all of their sakes.

He was the first one out there. No Yukwon which was a relief. He’d been all but living right here, next to the grave. One of the others must have taken him in earlier. It was nice to see how the boys were looking after each other. Maybe it was because Jaehyo was coming back and they all knew that. Zico knew that whatever was the case, the group they had were really building a nice community here. Jaehyo would like that.

Yukwon was yawning when he came out of the house a few hours later. By now, Zico could feel his patience growing thin. He knew how unpredictable the timing on this could be. He’d heard his own maker complain about how some stayed in the ground until nearly sunrise while others were out of the ground just as the sun set. He hated to think it but maybe a human would be able to draw Jaehyo out.

Zico kept an extra cautious eye on the ground, looking for any sign of movement, of the ground shifting. He needed a sign that Jaehyo had returned to them and wasn’t just a corpse in the ground. This change needed to happen. He needed Jaehyo to rise. He needed to hear Jaehyo’s voice again, that kind and loving voice that Zico loved so much, to let him know everything was right in the world. He needed Jaehyo’s sweet smile to calm the sick nervousness he felt.

As the seconds slipped by turning into minutes and then hours, the thought that Zico had been trying to avoid wouldn’t stop pounding in his head. Over and over and over it beat at him. Had Jaehyo been unable to make the change? Had he not been human enough for it? Or had Jaehyo’s own nature, so peaceful and agreeable, not been enough? Jaehyo had fight in him and he was strong but it was in his nature to look for the other options first.

“How much longer until he rises?” Yukwon asked. He’d taken to sitting on the step. Zico couldn’t help but be a little relieved about that because the distance from the grave was good. If Jaehyo suddenly came out, it’d give Zico some time to react and keep anything from happening.

What did Zico say to that though? He didn’t want to hurt Yukwon with the truth but he didn’t want to lie to him either. He’d noticed the way their relationship had become strained the last few years. He’d seen how when things were difficult with Jaehyo, they’d also become difficult with Yukwon. And Zico was sick of that. He missed the sweet little boy who’d looked up to him, who had followed him like a little duckling. So even though it hurt, Zico knew what he had to say.

“Tonight is supposed to be the night.”

Only that didn’t seem to be happening. Feelings of despair were pressing at him, trying to push into his head. They wanted to crush him. There was only one thing that would be able to push them away. Jaehyo.

The sky was getting lighter. Dawn was getting near. And still nothing. Should he dig into the ground? Was Jaehyo trapped down there? A wave of panic hit Zico at that that. He couldn’t hold back his feelings any longer. He began to dig and for once in his life, Zico was grateful for his vampiric strength.

It felt like he was digging forever. The amount of dirt just never stopped. He’d scoop some away only for more to fall in the spott. He wanted to cry at the Sisyphean task before him. He didn’t though because that would waste too much time. He didn’t have enough of that as it was.

At the bottom of the grave, a pale figure was laying there. The body was cold to the touch. No heartbeat. No breathing. And no moving. He was just a dirty, lifeless corpse.

Someone was yelling. They wouldn’t stop. It was loud and they needed to stop before they ended up drawing the whole neighborhood’s attention. It wasn’t Yukwon though. He was staring down into the hole, silently gaping with a look of sheer disbelief on his face. And the yelling was getting louder. Footsteps and running and slamming doors. Several more faces joined Yukwon’s.

“Will you stop that?” A voice yelled back. It took Zico too long to realize that it was Kyung who’d spoke and that he was talking to Zico.

As the sun rose, Zico crawled into bed. It wasn’t his own. He couldn’t face those rooms just now. This outcome, that the change wouldn’t take, that Jaehyo wouldn’t turn, was not something they’d discussed. They’d talked about a lot of things but not this. This was a possibility they’d both dismissed.

They’d been fools.

\---

Yukwon shuffled into his room. Every limb felt heavy. His soul was numb. And Jaehyo was gone.

This was not how he’d imagined things going. A part of him had really thought Jaehyo would come back, perfectly himself. That Jaehyo would wake up and scold him for being so, well, not himself the last few days. He’d most expected a creature that wore Jaehyo’s body but wasn’t him. That’s what they, well him and Zico, had figured would happen. He just...he didn’t think that would happen. That Jaehyo would stay dead. That Jaehyo would...that Jaehyo would stay gone.

He stood in the doorway. There was already someone in his bed. If it was anyone else, Yukwon might have been upset. Instead, he crawled into the bed too.

Zico was already out. From the time of day, it wasn’t exactly like he had a choice. It was already midmorning. They’d needed far more time to fill the grave than it’d taken Zico to dig it. But they couldn’t just leave a body in the open and Jaehyo would like to be near them anyways.

Yukwon wrapped his arms around the vampire. He loved Zico. He really did. As much as he always clung to Jaehyo, Zico had always been there too. He’d been the one to pick up Yukwon and chase away the monsters. They hadn’t had the best relationship the last few years. And that was probably his own fault. He loved the two but Yukwon had seen the unease and unhappiness that Jaehyo had been feeling. He’d adopted them for himself, letting it paint the relationship between him and Zico. When Jaehyo came back, Yukwon had started to let go of those feelings.

With Jaehyo gone, they just seemed silly.

He knew Zico would be dead to the world for hours but just having him here was a comfort. It reminded Yukwon wasn’t alone. He held on as tight as he could, glad that Zico wasn’t awake to complain.

Yukwon wasn’t sure how much longer he could stay here. Funny but until now, he’d never really had the desire to leave. Even when he’d been interested in her, the desire to stay had been stronger. But now...after all this...Yukwon wasn’t sure if he could handle it. Every single speck of this place held Jaehyo’s presence. The numbness he’d felt earlier was wearing off. Pain, true and debilitating, was starting to seep in. And Yukwon couldn’t breathe.

He was glad Zico wasn’t easily harmed because Yukwon kept clinging. Every single ounce of pain he felt, he squeezed into his arms. It was the only thing keeping Yukwon from screaming. It just wasn’t fair. Jaehyo wasn’t supposed to stay dead. He wasn’t. He had to come back so Yukwon could apologize. Jaehyo’s last memories of him couldn’t be that stupid, childish fight. It just wasn’t fair.

Hurting Jaehyo had been silly and childish. He’d let his own feelings get to him, leading him to lash out at the best person in his life. Tears burned and Yukwon didn’t bother trying to wipe them away. He just rested his cheek against Zico’s back, letting the vampire’s shirt soak up all his tears. He knew Zico wouldn’t care.

When Yukwon woke, he felt like he’d been hit by a car. Everything hurt. His eyes were raw and puffy. His face was tight and sore. All the strength in his arms and legs had fled while he slept. He couldn’t even lift his head. As long as he laid here, he could almost forget the awful sight of Jaehyo’s body laying in the dirt.

“Can we just stay here?” Yukwon asked. He knew Zico was awake. As long as they were here, he could pretend that Jaehyo might actually return to them. That last night was some horrible nightmare.

The hand holding his squeezed. Yukwon took that as a yes. Good. Because this was all he wanted, felt, like doing. Nothing else felt as right as this. They didn’t speak. It wasn’t like they needed words. Or rather, it was more like words wouldn’t help. Not when they were both in too much pain to even move.

Sleep became his respite from reality. It was nothing and allowed him to escape this world. This world where Jaehyo no longer existed. So Yukwon let himself fall into sleep. Sometimes he woke and in those moments he would lay there. He let time pass and every time he woke, Zico was always there.

And Jaehyo never was.


	30. don’t worry, i’ll share your sadness

Taeil shot the bedroom across from his a worried look. Four days had passed since Yukwon and Zico had holed up in there. Neither seemed to have the motivation, the will, to do anything but lay in that bed. That defeated attitude was infecting the house and spreading. He’d already noticed a few changes. It was kind of hard not to notice them.

Mino was gone. Not gone for good (hopefully) but he’d gone to stay with a friend. Some guy named ‘Yoon’ or ‘Hoon’ or something like that. Taeil hadn’t really been paying attention at the time. He’d tried to get Jihoon to come with him but Jihoon had refused. A nasty fight ensued and that’d been about the time Taeil had stepped between the two of them, telling them to stop acting like a couple of dumbasses. Mino left and Jihoon stayed. But anyways, that definitely hadn’t helped the mood around the house.

Only himself and Kyung seemed unaffected. Except Taeil couldn’t say he was unaffected. Not when he lived in the center of all the doom and gloom. He just couldn’t bring himself to kick Jihoon out of his room. Besides, there was no way Kyung wasn’t unaffected either. The only difference between himself and Kyung versus the others was that the two of them were better at hiding how this situation was hitting them.

“We can’t let things stay like this,” Kyung said. He was pacing around the kitchen. Taeil watched the guy, wondering what would wear out first: Kyung’s batteries or the floor. There was truth to Kyung’s words though. Letting things stay like this was not helping anyone. Yes, Jaehyo was really and truly dead. And yes, that was depressing. Taeil had always liked Jaehyo. He was one of the few genuine people Taeil knew. However he also realized that laying in bed, moping and crying and just flat out giving up wouldn’t and couldn’t solve anything.

“What do you plan to do about it?” Taeil asked. He didn’t have a clue. All of this was too much. He didn’t know how to go about it, about what to do.

Kyung paused. He sighed and set his hands on the counter, looking like he didn’t know either. “Divide and conquer is the best choice we have.”

“And that means?” Taeil could guess but he wanted to hear Kyung say it just in case they weren’t on the same page.

“It means you get Jihoon out of his funk and I work on Yukwon,” Kyung answered. “I’d rather have Jihoon but he seems to have attached himself to you.”

Wasn’t that the truth? Taeil’s mind flashed to how Jihoon had been laying in his bed earlier, just staring at the wall. The guy’s heart was too sensitive but that just made Taeil want to look out for him, to protect him. And dammit if those instincts weren’t annoying as hell.

Returning to his room, Taeil saw that Jihoon hadn’t moved. At least, he appeared to be in the same spot as earlier. It was creepy. Maybe it was actually seeing a real corpse but the sight of a body laying so still was disturbing. He stood in the doorway, trying to figure out the best way to handle this. One thought came to mind but he didn’t exactly like it. However, as he looked at Jihoon, it seemed like it couldn’t hurt.

“Get up.” He hated how harsh he sounded but if acting like an ass got Jihoon to do something, anything, else than lie there then that was a success.

Jihoon actually did roll over. He looked at Taeil and blinked. It was a slow, steady blinking that said he’d heard but he hadn’t at the same time.

“I said,” Taeil put a growl into his voice, “get up.” He wasn’t sure if he could drag Jihoon out of the bed. Physically, he knew he probably could. Taeil might be physically smaller but he was pretty damn strong. No, he didn’t know if he had it in him to pull Jihoon away from his comfort spot.

“Why?” Jihoon’s voice croaked out. It became clear just how little he’d spoken in the last few days upon hearing his voice.

“Because we’re going out.” It was only after he said the words that Taeil realized how they could be interpreted. And he only partially cared which was why he didn’t bother to fix it. Instead, he just added, “a real, proper date.”

He wanted to die of embarrassment. Taeil didn’t do dates just like he didn’t do relationships. But he wanted Jihoon back. The normal loud and boisterous version anyways. Taeil missed that Jihoon. “It’s a one-time offer so if you aren’t ready to leave in an hour, I’ll assume you want to end this thing between us.”

The words were cruel but they needed to be in order to motivate JIhoon. Taeil wasn’t sure he’d actually follow through with the threat. His own pesky feelings probably wouldn’t allow it.

Nearly an hour later, Jihoon emerged. He looked more put-together than he had in days. He’d even showered from the looks of it. Good. Taeil was glad to see this had actually worked.

“Where are we going?” Jihoon asked. He sounded more like himself than he had in days too.

Taeil bit the inside of his cheek, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “The aquarium,” he said. He was glad he’d picked it by the way it made Jihoon laugh and smile.

“You really love fish,” Jihoon’s voice teased. It sounded so nice that he didn’t mind.

“It’s a nice place.” Taeil had to defend his choice.

They didn’t really talk on the way over. There was a quiet that existed between them that wasn’t awkward. It was just there. Besides, even if they were to start talking about their lives, anyone who overheard them would probably think they were either crazy or really into some obscure game.

“Take my picture,” Jihoon practically yelled as they entered, coming face to face with a giant shark jaw almost immediately. He was actually smiling and looked happy. He also happened to look entirely ridiculous with his head in the middle of the jaws. But he was smiling. Taeil took the picture.

It was like entering another world. No matter how many times he came here, Taeil was always struck by the thought. The busy outside felt far away and all that was left was a sense of peace. Jihoon fell quiet and when Taeil glanced over, he saw a similar sort of calmness had washed over the younger guy.

“You okay?” Taeil asked, voice low as they watched a pair of loaches.

Jihoon took a moment to answer. “Yeah. I just...it’s nice here. Makes me think of when I was a kid and came with my mom.”

Somehow the thought that Jihoon came as a kid made Taeil smile. He could just picture a child version of Jihoon walking hand in hand with his mother. “You never talk about your family.”

Jihoon had a look of discomfort on his face as they continued to walk. He seemed to get distracted by a particularly large catfish. It was rather large and the sign next to it told the fish’s story. Taeil had read the sign before but apparently Jihoon needed time to process whatever was going on in his head so Taeil pretended to read it again.

“I don’t like to talk about my family,” JIhoon said as they moved on. “I was close to my mom. Not so much with my father.”

Taeil noticed the past tense. So he decided to ask. “Was?” Jihoon faltered, freezing for a moment before he gave a little nod.

A grin took over Jihoon’s face as he noticed the squirrels. “Hyung, they look just like you!”

What. There were a few things in that that Taeil needed to process. Hyung. Jihoon had called him ‘hyung’ which was definitely something he hadn’t done before. And truth be told, Taeil wasn’t sure if he liked it. He wasn’t used to hearing Jihoon call him that. But he knew what had been drilled into Jihoon about what was proper. It’s just that Taeil wasn’t huge on the whole being proper sort of thing.

“What do you mean they look like me?” Was what he asked instead.

From the grin on Jihoon’s face that was the right thing to ask. “They’re little and cute.” He laughed as Taeil scowled.

Okay, hearing Jihoon call him cute was kind of nice. But he wasn’t cute. “It’s not my fault you’re a giant,” Taeil shot back. That only made Jihoon laugh harder.

As they walked into the next area, Jihoon reached out to hold Taeil’s hand. Since this was supposed to be a true, proper date, Taeil let him. Besides, they were practically alone. Not many people came during the middle of the day apparently.

“My mom died when I was younger. It...it was right before my birthday too,” Jihoon shared. He was still smiling but there was pain in it now. “She’d been sick for a while but it was still a surprise.”

Taeil didn’t know what to say. He’d never really had to deal with loss, not like Jihoon’s. He still had his mother. Hell, the way she was going, she would outlive Taeil. She always seemed so strong and healthy that Taeil couldn’t imagine a world without her. And then he remembered just how long Jihoon had lived in the vampire’s household.

Crap. Jihoon had been so young when he’d been dealing with all that. Also, that new information gave Taeil pause as he realized he didn’t know something rather basic about Jihoon. “When is your birthday?”

Jihoon paused. “You don’t know?”

“You’ve never mentioned it,” Taeil pointed out. Funny how they’d had sex multiple times but hadn’t shared birthdays. “Mine’s in September. On the 24th.”

“February 2nd,” Jihoon answered. Which was a relief because that meant Taeil didn’t have to worry about it until next year.

They didn’t really talk again as they continued through the aquarium. Being with Jihoon wasn’t as hard as Taeil thought it would be. It was nice. Taeil didn’t really do relationships and he didn’t really do dates. But with Jihoon now, this date didn’t seem so bad.

“It’s weird,” Jihoon said as they walked by a phone booth full of little, yellow fish.

“What is?” Because Taeil could think of several things that were weird. He just didn’t know which ones exactly qualified as weird.

The rabbit paused mid-bite to stare at them. Jihoon shook their hands as he said, “this.”

He seemed to realize that Taeil had no idea how to take that because Jihoon quickly added, “this is just so normal. And my life isn’t exactly normal.”

Shit. Taeil just made a connection he hadn’t quite gotten before. Jihoon lost his mother at a young age. And he was taken in by Jaehyo who’d forced him to continue living a semi-normal life, stepping in as a sort of parental/big brother role. Then he lost Jaehyo. No wonder Jihoon had taken this all so hard. No wonder he was clinging to anyone who was staying by him.

At that moment, Taeil had a major realization. He had to make a choice, one that would affect both of them. He had to break off this thing with Jihoon or he had to commit to a real, serious relationship. There could be no in-between, not at this moment in time.

He’d never been good with relationships. His attitude towards them wasn’t the greatest (after all, he was the guy who liked to call them relationshits). He’d never been serious with anyone before. He purposely pursued older, married guys for a reason (well, there were a few).

Watching Jihoon stick his hand in the tank, yelping as fish nipped on his fingers, was enough to make Taeil smile. He’d already broken so many of his rules when it came to Jihoon. The guy was young and vulnerable. He needed someone to look after him, who could take care of him and his emotions. The exact situation Taeil had always avoided. Something about Jihoon was different though because Taeil wasn’t filled with the urge to run away. He was scared of the situation, of how much he’d have to be there for Jihoon, but in a weird sort of way, Taeil found himself wanting to try it.

As they watched the small rays swim, splashing a group of children there on a field trip, Taeil knew he should say something. That he needed to warn Jihoon. He grabbed the back of Jihoon’s shirt, holding him back so they could have a little privacy as the kids moved on.

A questioning look filled Jihoon’s face. Taeil almost wanted to chicken out, to give up and not say a word. He couldn’t let that happen. “I’m not good at relationships,” Taeil explained. “My whole deal has always been to keep feelings as far away as possible.”

A couple drifted near them so Taeil dropped his hold on Jihoon’s shirt and started walking. He heard a little gasp from from Jihoon as they entered the next section. It was pretty amazing.

“Are you saying you want to keep things like they are?” Jihoon asked. There was a tinge of hurt in his voice.

Taeil smiled softly and shook his head. This was beyond embarrassing to say. He could admit to himself that he was afraid of how Jihoon would react. He really hoped the guy wouldn’t do something ridiculous like try to pick him up and swing him around or something like that. “Kind of the opposite?” Taeil sighed, feeling like he was making a mess of this.

“I’m bad at this sort of thing,” he tried again, hoping Jihoon understood what he was trying to say. “I’ve never really been the relationship type.” Annnnd Jihoon still looked confused. Great. TIme to go swimming with the sharks because this was only going to get more embarrassing.

More people were around them so Taeil lowered his voice. “I’m trying to say that I’m willing to try with you. I’m probably going to be complete shit but I’m willing to give it a chance.”

It had to be the crowd that’d gathered for feeding time. It had to be them because Jihoon looked like he wanted to hug and hold Taeil. He didn’t though because that look in Jihoon’s eyes kind of made Taeil want to puke. He knew this was going to be hard, trying to overcome a lifelong aversion to this sort of thing. Jihoon made him want to try though. Jihoon made him brave.

As they continued through the aquarium, Taeil noticed a new sort of bold bravery in Jihoon. He stuck closer to Taeil now. There were more accidental touches that Taeil knew weren’t accidental. At first it was cute but as time wore on, they started to get annoying. He didn’t say anything to Jihoon though. Not now. That was something for later.


	31. the night is waiting for you

The first thing he did was turn on the light. It earned him a little whine from Ppo and that’s what made Kyung angry. Stomping over the bed, Kyung pulled the blanket off the two in bed. Another time and Kyung might have appreciated the sight of Zico stretched out. But not today. He only had eyes for Yukwon.

Kyung wasn’t gentle as he shook Yukwon. He was too angry to be gentle. A groan from Yukwon said he was awake. Good.

“Time to get and get back to life,” Kyung said. “It’s been a week.” An absolute crazy week. Hard to believe that a week ago he’d been joking with Jaehyo. That they’d been having fun together and pretending everything was normal.

The look Yukwon gave him was full of pain. Kyung could feel his resolve wavering. After all, who was he to say that the guy needed to be over the death of someone he’d been close to for a long time. And then he heard Ppo whine again.

Throwing the blanket onto the other bed, Kyung went over to the puppy. She was eager for attention if her happy little spins and barks were any sign. He brought her over and set her on the bed next to Yukwon. “You’ve got someone who needs you.” Kyung’s voice was softer now. He couldn’t be tough and mean even if that might be what Yukwon needed.

Ppo started licking Yukwon’s hand. He had a little half-smile on his face as he looked at her. She growled at his fingers and tried to pounce on them. It was cute.

“A week?” Yukwon asked as if he were looking for confirmation. They’d moved to the floor and Yukwon was tugging on a rope. Ppo had the other end and was doing her best to sound fierce.

Kyung nodded. “Yeah, since the night he was put in the ground.” No need to clarify, they both knew what he meant. “Four days since…”

A heavy sigh came from Yukwon. “It’s only been four days.”

True, it did feel like it’d been longer. The last few days had dragged along. In a way, he envied Mino. Kyung couldn’t exactly fault the guy. After all, he’d been tempted to run away to Minhyuk’s himself. But this place needed someone and the idea of leaving it all on Taeil made Kyung feel like a scummy person.

“Mino’s been gone the last few days and Jihoon’s holed himself up in with Taeil-hyung.” Kyung decided he might as well be honest.’’

Yukwon looked up, frowning. “Why’d Mino leave?” There was something that sounded a lot like worry in his voice. Hearing that was a relief.

“It…” Kyung shook his head and started over at the beginning. “When we finished,” burying Jaehyo, “and you locked yourself in here, him and Jihoon got into a fight. Jihoon wasn’t in good shape and Mino wanted to get him away from here.”

“Why?” Zico’s voice croaked. Kyung jumped, not expecting to hear the vampire speak. Looking at the bed, Kyung saw that the vampire was awake and watching them. He looked miserable with his eyes ringed in red. Kyung couldn’t tell if they were red from blood or because he was upset. It didn’t really matter and no doubt both were at least partially true. Zico’s hair was an absolute mess too. He was still covered in dirt, still in the same outfit he’d worn the night he’d dug up Jaehyo.

Kyung waved a hand around the house. “This place hasn’t exactly been all happy and cheery lately. He wanted to get Jihoon somewhere that wasn’t full of grief. He’s barely moved the last few days just like you two.”

Apparently his words had some sort of effect on the other two because they both fell quiet. An air of realization seemed to hit them. Kyung hated to say it but good. They both needed to realize they weren’t the only ones dealing with this. Yes they’d known Jaehyo the longest but he had been important to others too.

“Where is everyone?” Zico asked after a bit. He was still laying on the bed, watching the two humans play with the puppy.

Kyung shrugged. “I’m not sure. Taeil-hyung seemed to have some sort of breakthrough with Jihoon earlier and they went somewhere.” He just didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing those two hadn’t returned yet. He hoped it was good.

The fact that he had both Yukwon and Zico up and responding was a good sign. It had to be.

“Who has been taking care of her?” It was a fair question. After all, it wasn’t like Yukwon had been caring for the puppy these past few days.

“Taeil-hyung mostly and I’ve helped when I’ve had the time.” Kyung didn’t know what he’d have done without Taeil during the last week. The guy had really turned into a lifesaver. Kyung felt bad that they’d all come to rely on their newest resident but they had. Looking at Zico, he had to say it. “He was a really good choice to bring in.”

Zico gave a little nod. “Apparently.”

Ppo growled and barked. She seemed satisfied when they all looked at her. It was ridiculous but it made Kyung laugh. A few chuckles came from Yukwon and even Zico had a little almost smile on his face.

“What are you hungry for?” Kyung asked. “I’ll grab it and you guys can take some showers.’

Yukwon moaned. “A hot shower sounds amazing,” he admitted. “Honestly, you could just grab chicken from anywhere and it’d be fine.”

Now that was something Kyung could do.

Taeil and Jihoon were back by the time Kyung returned. From the look of it, whatever Taeil had done had worked because something about Jihoon seemed more at ease now. There was something different about Taeil too. Honestly, it didn’t matter what had happened. Kyung just appreciated that the others seemed to be coming out of their respective funks.

The group ended up in the living area on the main floor. It was weird, having everyone in here. Outside the empty bedrooms, this had to be the least used room in the house. Kyung found it the best room to study in for that exact reason.

Both Yukwon and Zico had showered and put on fresh clothes. It was painfully clear just how little Yukwon had eaten recently from the way his clothes hung on him. Kyung really hoped they hadn’t intervened too late. He was glad to see the guy’s eyes light up at the sight of the chicken in Kyung’s hand. And something in Zico seemed different. He didn’t seem quite as broken as he looked in that bed.

A closer glance at both Yukwon and Zico had Kyung wondering if the vampire had been feeding on Yukwon the last few days. Zico looked good. Bright and healthy. He glowed, not literally, but Kyung realize that this was definitely the vampire at his peak. He looked strong. Dangerous almost. Only the grief, so evident in his eyes that even Kyung felt his pain, tempered that look of danger. Funny but right now was probably when Zico was at his most deadly too. No Jaehyo to hold him back after all.

Yukwon tore into the chicken. It took him a few moments to realize he was the only one eating and a sheepish, apologetic smile filled his face. “Sorry, guess I’m hungrier than I thought.”

Something in the way he said that broke the tension. The entire group, even Zico, laughed. The house, the building itself, seemed to relax. All the sadness, the grief, was still there but it wasn’t an overwhelming, suffocating presence anymore.

“Jaehyo-hyung wasn’t my favorite person when I first came here.” It was Jihoon. He had a sad smile on his face as he spoke. “I hated how he said I had to go to high school if I wanted to stay here.”

Zico barked out a laugh. “Yeah. You two went back and forth, fighting about that for days. It was not fun, being in the middle of that.”

Yukwon nodded. Swallowing a bite, he added, “we were looking into a vacation somewhere far away in order to escape your little war.”

“A war implies I ever had a chance of winning,” Jihoon pointed out. “But we all know I didn’t.”

A chorus of heads nodded as everyone, even Taeil, agreed. Interesting. “He always seemed to get what he wanted,” Jihoon said, going on. “Must’ve been nice, to have it easy like that.”

Yukwon laughed. “We didn’t really make it easy on him though.”

“True.” Jihoon joined in the laughter. Taeil was smiling as if he understood, knew, too.

Maybe it was because Kyung didn’t have the same sort of history with Jaehyo or maybe it was his former crush on Zico but Kyung noticed the vampire had fallen silent. He had a thoughtful expression on his face and he didn’t seem to hear the others talking, sharing their stories. So Kyung was the first one to realize it was Zico speaking.

“He’d kill me if he knew I mentioned any of this.” The others stopped, turning to look at Zico. “But you should know...he didn’t have it easy.”

Jihoon laughed. “Yeah, we didn’t make it easy,” Yukwon repeated, trying not to laugh as he spoke between bites. “I don’t know how you two put up with me when I was a teen.”

“Your teen years were easy.” There was a smile caught somewhere between sad and fond on Zico’s face. “Dealing with your nightmares when you first came was worse. But honestly, Jae-”

Pain, pure pain, just rolled across Zico’s face. It made Kyung want to reach out and do something. He held himself back.

“He saw himself in you,” Zico started over. “He…” there was a chuckle and then the vampire hid his face. “He wanted you to have the childhood he didn’t have.”

Yukwon set the drink he’d been holding down. A curious look was on his face as he asked, “what do you mean?”

“He didn’t like to talk about his time before we met.” Zico laughed but it was dry and sarcastic. “He never told me all of it but I have an idea.’

Kyung found that interesting. He had figured that these two had known everything about each other. The fact that there was stuff Jaehyo had kept from Zico was shocking. And more than a little telling. There were secrets that died with Jaehyo and Kyung couldn’t help but wonder what they were.

“He left home when he was young and never saw his family again. He went to another household and I really don’t know.” Zico shook his head. “You guys wouldn’t have recognized him. The version I met.”

By now they’d all given their full attention to Zico. The food in front of Yukwon was all but forgotten at this point. “What was he like?” Kyung asked.

Zico still hid face but that didn’t make his words any less clear. “He was living on the streets. Had been for some time.” Finally Zico moved his hands. His gaze remained looking down at his hands. “He didn’t trust anyone. I don’t know if he even trusted himself.”

The vampire sighed. “It took us meeting many, many times before he could let himself trust. And even then, it took a few years before he really relaxed fully around me.

A distrustful Jaehyo was hard to imagine. The man Kyung had known had been so happy and kind and caring. He’d been an open and helpful person. The idea that he’d once been the opposite was just hard to see but the way Zico spoke, made it clear he wasn’t joking.

“He always kept his past to himself.” There was a horror as Zico seemed to really fully realize that for the first time.

Yukwon went over and sat on the arm of Zico’s chair. He rested a hand on the vampire’s shoulder. It really made Kyung think of a child comforting a parent. Weird. He’d known that a similar parent-child relationship had existed between Yukwon and Jaehyo. For some reason, he hadn’t made the same sort of connection with Zico and Yukwon. It made sense though.

Kyung could see that they were heading towards the road of sadness again. He didn’t want to head back down it. Not now. Not when they were making some real progress here. So he did the only thing he could think of.

“So what was Yukwon like as a teenager?”

\---

“No.”

Jiho grinned even more as Jaehyo scowled at him. The teen beside him shifted, clearly uncomfortabl.

“Zico, he’s too young,” Jaehyo argued. “You know what we agreed.”

They had set up rules about bringing in new guys. The most important being that they had to run decisions by each other first. Also, no more children. Well, no one underage anyways. And Jihoon was definitely underage.

“Should I go?” Jihoon asked, his voice soft. “It’s fine.” He was shifting, playing with his bag.

“Yes.”

“No.”

Zico rested a hand on Jihoon’s arm, effectively stopping him from going anywhere. “He’s staying.”

Jaehyo looked over Jihoon again. “How old are you?”

Jihoon shifted, trying to get away from Jaehyo’s gaze. Jiho didn’t exactly let that happen though. “Yukwon.” He hated pulling that card but it was there.

“Oh no you don’t,” Jaehyo began. “He was an entirely different situation and you know it. Besides, that was before the rules.”

Okay, Jaehyo did have him there. They’d ended up making their rules partially because of Yukwon. But he knew they couldn’t let Jihoon go back home. It wasn’t the right place for him.

“I’m just going to leave…”

Jiho shook his head. “No, you’re not. He’s fifteen and he’s staying.” Jihoon had too much talent. If he stayed in his home, a place where no one was looking for him, he wouldn’t grow. His talent would die from a lack of nourishment. Jihoon needed a better, more supportive environment. Like this one.

Jaehyo shook his head in disbelief. “Fifteen? What the hell are you thinking?”

Jiho knew this was turning into a disaster. He definitely hadn’t meant for it to go this way. “Jihoon, why don’t you get something to drink? We’ve got plenty in the kitchen.” When Jihoon gave a hesitant nod, Jiho directed him towards the kitchen.

Jaehyo pulled him into the next room. “What are you thinking?” He repeated. “He’s way too young. We’re going to have his parents coming after us.”

“Wrong.” JIho didn’t like it but he knew more about this than Jaehyo. “He’s a good kid, Jaehyo. He needs us.” He signed, not wanting to tell Jihoon’s story but knowing he had to. “No mother. She died a few months ago. And ever since then, he hasn’t really had a father. There’s no one looking out for him.”

He could see Jaehyo fighting with himself about that. Jiho knew he was playing dirty, that Jaehyo would be weak to Jihoon’s situation. But he had to know it. “He’s been living with friends the past few weeks because he doesn’t want to go back home.”

From the way Jaehyo sighed, Jiho knew the guy had given in. Everything in Jaehyo screamed reluctant acceptance. “He goes to school,” Jaehyo said. “He has to go, do his best, and graduate from high school.”

Jihoon was in the doorway. He’d been watching, listening to them. His face was screwed up in displeasure at the idea of high school. It was obvious he wasn’t a fan of Jaehyo’s idea. Jihoon opened his mouth to protest but closed it when Jiho shook his head. Jaehyo’s decision had logic in it. Jihoon was young and it would be hard for him to get by in this new, modern world without an education. Besides, they’d sent Yukwon to tutors when he’d been a child. So it only seemed fair that Jihoon would need to finish his education.

Jaehyo turned, directing a stern look at Jihoon. “I’m not saying you have to be top of your class and only get the highest marks or you’ll be kicked out. That’s not what I said and it’d be too much stress for you. But it’s also not an invitation to slack off and do nothing. If you want to stay here, you go to school and you graduate.”

Jihoon looked at Jiho, clearly seeing if Jiho would override what Jaehyo had set down for him. Not going to happen. Mostly because JIho could see that it really wasn’t an unreasonable stipulation. It’d also let Jihoon have contact with his peers which was good because they didn’t exactly have any other teenagers.

“He’s the boss around here,” Jiho said. “Whatever Jaehyo decides is what happens.”

Jaehyo shot him an annoyed look about that but didn’t fight it. Good because they both knew it was true. “I’ll show you around,” Jaehyo offered. “And we’ll figure out a room for you to stay in.”

It took almost two hours for Jaehyo to get Jihoon settled in. And once he was done, Jaehyo came stomping into the studio even though the red ‘do not disturb’ light was on. If it was anyone else and under different circumstances, Jiho would have been upset about the intrusion. Truth be told, he’d been expecting this.

“That was not fair and you know it,” Jaehyo said from where he sat on the little couch. He was glaring, clearly unhappy. Jiho might have said something but that glare said to shut up and listen because Jaehyo needed to vent.

“If you told me about him, I would have agreed. You know that. You know me and the kinds of stories I can’t help but try to help with. His is the sort you know I’d end up giving in on but you didn’t say anything. I didn’t even get a warning that you wanted to bring someone new it.”

Jaehyo seemed to be getting calmer as he spoke. “He told me how you have been giving him advice for months now, what you’ve been telling him he can do to improve his rapping.”

“Who did you put him with?” Jiho asked. The tone in Jaehyo’s voice made him wonder just how mad the guy was. There was something about it that was different from Jaehyo’s normal upset tone.

“Yukwon,” Jaehyo snapped. “Jiho, why? That was deliberate. You’ve known this kid for awhile now and you’ve never mentioned a single word about him before.”

Because he was afraid. He’d known that Jihoon’s story would have appealed to Jaehyo, would tug at his heart and he’d fall for Jihoon in that way Jaehyo always fell for their boys. But Jaehyo had made it increasingly clear he wanted to be turned and Jiho was afraid he’d use the event, getting Jihoon, as leverage. Jiho was already having a hard time refusing Jaehyo each time he asked. If Jaehyo had said Jihoon couldn’t come unless Jiho turned him, well, Jiho didn’t think he had it in him to refuse. He would finally give in.

He hated that he hadn’t brought up the situation with Jaehyo first. It made him feel wicked and wrong. They had their rules, the ones they’d worked out and agreed upon together. Going against that felt like a betrayal. He hated himself for that. But if it kept Jaehyo alive and with him, well, Jiho would do whatever that took.


	32. where are you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone still reading this story? Or did I lose everyone when Jaehyo died?

Kyung shifted, uncomfortable about being in this environment. It didn't help that his wonderful date had gotten caught up on the club’s dance floor, whisked away by a group that had far more dancing ability in their pinkies than Kyung had in his entire body. At least he had a drink he could nurse. His drink could keep him company.

He’d come with Minhyuk and his group of friends. They’d wanted to check out this club and Minhyuk had asked Kyung to join them. Kyung still wasn’t all comfortable around the group but he appreciated that Minhyuk was trying to bring Kyung more into his world. That they were willing to at least humor Kyung for Minhyuk’s sake. Maybe it was the vibe back home or maybe Kyung had just spent too much time dealing with grief lately but there was something about tonight that just felt off. The idea had sounded so good originally too. A night away from the house where he could just have fun and let everything else fall away? It had seemed like just the thing Kyung needed most.

But nope, his brain couldn’t be happy. So he sat at the table the group had secured almost immediately, drinking by himself. Would they even notice if he left? He’d hope Minhyuk would at least notice but then again, it’d been nearly an hour since Kyung had last seen the guy. Kyung knew himself, knew that he wasn’t a great dancer but still...he couldn’t help but feel left out right now.

He was almost to the door when he finally spotted his elusive boyfriend. The guy was talking to someone, a serious look on both of their faces. Kyung watched them for a moment, wondering how long it would be before Minhyuk looked over and noticed him. It took forever. The look on Minhyuk’s face was surprise. Surprise and something that looked suspiciously like guilt.

Kyung might be able to lie to others but he couldn’t lie to himself. This whole night just wasn’t the right thing for him right now. He didn’t want to let himself think about the ‘what-ifs’ and wonder just why Minhyuk seemed guilty. Besides, he just wanted to go home and curl up and sleep. And at the same time, he didn’t want to deal with the weight of grief that hung around that house. So he let his feet lead the way, taking him towards the nearest train station. If he hurried, he might even make the last train of the night.

From the hurried footsteps behind him, Kyung kind of doubted that would happen.

“Kyung, wait,” he heard Minhyuk call out. And as much as he wanted to catch that last train, Kyung let his feet stop. He waiting, giving Minhyuk the chance to catch up. It didn’t take him long.

“I’m sorry,” Minhyuk said. “Sorry for basically vanishing on you tonight. That wasn’t right and I feel bad about it.”

Kyung nodded, glad to hear that at least. He still wanted to head home. He’d known coming out tonight was a bad idea. His gut had told him to stay home. There was just too much going on right now and going out to have fun, to try and escape everything, was just not the right thing to do. His desire to let got of everything and have fun for a little bit was simply too selfish.

“I just kind of got caught up in the music, in dancing. I lost track of the time.” Minhyuk really did look and sound apologetic which did make Kyung feel a little more at ease.

“I just…” Kyung didn’t know what to say. “I didn’t think it’d turn out this way.”

“Tonight? I’m sorry about that. It wasn’t the smartest thi-” Minhyuk stopped when he noticed Kyung shaking his head.

The station was just ahead. Kyung could see the entrance and it was calling him. “Walk with me?”

Minhyuk nodded and they walked together. A few times, he reached over, letting their fingers brush. He wanted to hold Kyung’s hand but Kyung held himself back. He couldn’t get that look of surprise and guilt out of his head. Still, as they walked, Kyung could almost forget about everything going on back home which was all he really wanted to do.

“Something’s bothering you,” Minhyuk said. “What is it?”

Should he tell Minhyuk? It wasn’t like the guy could understand and Kyung would have to leave a lot of it anyways if he wanted to avoid Minhyuk thinking he was crazy. But then he looked at Minhyuk, saw the concern in his boyfriend’s eyes. The little wall inside Kyung that was holding back the weight of everything cracked, pieces of it falling away.

“It’s everything,” Kyung admitted. “Not really you or tonight.” Those things certainly hadn’t helped. “It’s...do you remember the guy I had a crush on?”

“Had?” Minhyuk’s whole demeanor perked up. He was grinning, his dimple popping. Kyung wanted to poke it, to see how deep it really went. Minhyuk seemed so cute right now. It helped take away some of the irritation Kyung felt towards the guy right now. “Does that mean you’re over him?”

Probably. Kyung hadn’t thought about Zico in a romantic way in a while now. The thought of kissing the vampire no longer had Kyung burning with want. Now kissing Minhyuk...that did sound like a good idea. But enjoying himself just didn’t sound fair right now. “Not now,” he told Minhyuk. “Ask me about that another time.”

Kyung shook his head and continued on. “It’s not really about him anyways.”

“Then who are you talking about?” Minhyuk was clearly confused. Not that Kyung could blame the guy. It was a hard situation to understand even for Kyung. Maybe that was why he felt the need to tell Minhyuk. To share some of the pain and confusion he felt inside himself in order to try and make things more clear.

“The ex who is not an ex,” Kyung replied, smiling a little at the old nickname for Jaehyo. He realized he’d never told Minhyuk what Jaehyo’s name was. That just felt wrong so he decided to correct that. “His name’s Jaehyo and we became friends.”

“What’s the issue?” Minhyuk asked. He stopped walking and so did Kyung. The train station’s entrance loomed over them.

Kyung didn’t want to say it. He had to though. It was the only way Minhyuk might understand. Kyung bit the inside of his cheek. Saying this was so hard and he didn’t want to. Even thinking it was hard. “He died.”

And saying those two words did everything. The last little bits of that wall inside Kyung crumbled. “It happened about a week and a half ago. And we knew he might but it just didn’t seem real. Like he’d really not come back.”

Relief hit Kyung as he said all this out loud. He couldn’t talk about any of this at the house. The others were dealing with it and they’d all had closer ties to Jaehyo but that didn’t mean the guy’s death wasn’t affecting Kyung too. The stress of it all had been pulling on him but telling his boyfriend made some of it go away. He wasn’t carrying the burden alone anymore.

“Shit,” Minhyuk hissed. He pulled Kyung close and squeezed his hand. “You okay?”

Kyung didn’t know how to respond to that. “I don’t know,” he admitted. Kyung rested his forehead on Minhyuk’s shoulder. “I only knew him a couple of months but he was a good person. I mean, he kind of turned into this mentor-slash-friend and one day he was there and the next he was just...gone…”

He could feel himself getting emotional but he absolutely could not stop. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye.” When he was home, he couldn’t have emotions like this. He had to be strong for everyone else. The only one who he might share this all with was Taeil but putting all of what Kyung was feeling on Taeil just felt wrong. So Kyung had had to stay strong. Being strong was so damn exhausting though.

Minhyuk wrapped his arms around Kyung. He held on, gripping him tightly. It was nice, being in Minhyuk’s arms like this. Kyung felt safe. He felt like if he did break, everything would be okay. He felt Minhyuk stumble a little as Kyung melted into the guy, taking comfort in the warmth and solidity Minhyuk exuded.

“Let’s go to my place,” Minhyuk whispered. “You need some space from all that.”

Wasn’t that the truth?

\---

Zico stared at the door. His hands were shaking. And then he turned around and headed up the stairs. He didn’t stop until he reached Yukwon’s room. The guy was inside, playing with Ppo. The sight of the two of them made Zico smile.

He stepped into the room, sitting on the spare bed. Immediately he regretted it. The bed still had a very faint smell of Jaehyo. Tears prickled but he refused to let them fall.

“What is it?” Yukwon asked. He didn’t look up from where he was playing tug of war with Ppo.

“I can’t go in,” Zico replied. If it was anyone else, he knew he couldn’t be so honest. But this was Yukwon. He didn’t have to pretend around Yukwon.

The guy gave a little nod. “It’s hard being here.” Yukwon’s voice was soft. Somehow it was also full of emotion. At least he wasn’t crying. Zico wasn’t sure he could handle that right now. As much as he wanted to be strong for everyone, he just couldn’t right now.

“He’s everywhere.” Zico heard the cracking in his own voice. “I knew that but…”

“It didn’t seem this obvious before,” Yukwon finished. “When he left, he was still here but it wasn’t like this.”

Exactly. Jaehyo had left them before. And that time had hurt. He’d been so angry then. Jaehyo had left them but he’d still been alive. No like now. As much as he wanted to be angry, he just couldn’t be. Not at Jaehyo anyways. He couldn’t even really be angry with himself. No, the only feeling he felt towards himself was hate.

How could he have done that? Zico had always resisted when Jaehyo asked to be turned. He’d always known it was a bad idea. And look, he’d been right. It had been a colossal mistake, the biggest fuck up of his life. Jaehyo hadn’t been able to make the change. Zico had suspected that and yet he’d still done the stupid thing, trying to turn Jaehyo.

The bed shifted as Yukwon came over and sat next to him. Zico leaned over, letting his head rest on Yukwon’s shoulder. He knew it was selfish of him to pull strength from the younger man but he couldn’t help it.

“I miss the old days,” Jiho said. “When everything was good.”

Yukwon nodded. “Me too. I really liked those times, when I was a kid.” He laughed. “Those days were nice. You were able to chase away the monsters. And Hyung, he...he was able to keep them away.”

“You never did mention just what those monsters of yours were. You’d just ask me if they’d found you but never who or what they actually were.” He and Jaehyo had discussed it before, trying to figure it out. Yukwon never talked about his nightmares though other than to say they were bad.

There was a moment where he could feel Yukwon tense up. Then just as quickly, all of it melted away as the boy gave a little chuckle. “I guess it doesn’t matter now,” Yukwon admitted. “They’re long dead.”

Jiho shifted, putting an arm around Yukwon. He waited, letting his son (because as much as he’d joked the guy was Jaehyo’s, they’d both known that was a lie and that Yukwon was both of theirs) prepare himself.

“Hyung found me when I was little.” Too little but Jiho kept that remark to himself. It wouldn’t do anything to help anyways. “I’d been on my own for a week or two when he found me.”

So far Yukwon was just repeating what they already knew. “As you know,” Yukwon continued, “I ran away from home.”

A stupid, childish thing but Yukwon had been a little child with far too much thrust on him. It was more than a little understandable that Yukwon had run away from that. “Before Hyung found me...I saw something I wasn’t supposed to see.”

That could be any number of things. Jiho didn’t press. He just waited. He knew Yukwon, knew that if he tried pressing, the boy would likely clam up. Patience was the key to getting anything out of Yukwon. Still, Jiho was more than a little thankful that he didn’t have to wait long.

“They didn’t want to kill a kid so they said they’d let me live if I kept my mouth shut. And they kept checking up on me, even after you guys took me in.” Yukwon laughed. It sounded so light and cheerful. He had a beautiful laugh but it seemed even prettier now. “I feel better.”

It seemed so silly that Yukwon had viewed a few regular humans as these big scary monsters. He’d literally lived with a vampire nearly his entire life but humans scared him. He was as bad as Jaehyo.

“It’s probably been a good 60 or 70 years since I last saw any of them,” Yukwon added. “I think my lack of aging was really freaking them out.”

Understandable. A person who stopped aging, staying as a teenager for far longer than a decade, had to be alarming. “They probably thought you’d died and your spirit was lingering,” Jiho pointed out.

Yukwon shrugged. “Maybe. It just seems so silly now.”

Jiho nodded. He moved the arm that was around Yukwon, ruffling the younger guy’s hair. “I’m glad you told me. It’s too late to do anything about it now”

“Oh don’t,” Yukwon interrupted. “I know you liked it when I’d come to your room and curl up in bed with you and Hyung.”

Guilty as charged. “Neither one of us had kids,” Jiho answered. “But we had you and you kind of filled that role for us.”

“I know.” Yukwon didn’t sound happy about that. Conflicted sounded more appropriate. “Before…” heaviness hung in the air. Yukwon didn’t need to say it. Jiho pulled him into a hug. “He started calling me his son and telling people that recently,” Yukwon finished. He sounded like he was on the verge of crying.

Jiho kissed Yukwon on the head. He’d been focusing so much on his own pain that he hadn’t really seen Yukwon’s. Guilt hit Jiho and it hit hard. On some level, he’d always known and recognized that he’d outlive Jaehyo. After all, Jiho was essentially immortal and Jaehyo essentially wasn’t. He’d been a fragile human. Watching Jaehyo slowly age had been a torture but it’d been an expected one.

“He regretted how things went with you,” Jiho said. “He was a mess about how he’d messed it up and he was afraid of making things worse.”

Yukwon’s hand gripped at Jiho’s shirt. If Jiho closed his eyes, he could almost be transported back to when Yukwon was still a child. But he wasn’t a child, not anymore. “Stop.”

The voice that came from Yukwon sounded pale and broken, the single word so jagged with emotion that Jiho immediately stopped. Any words he might have said died in his throat as he heard Yukwon’s pleading voice add, “don’t.”

Voices came drifting down the stairs. Jiho recognized them as Taeil and Jihoon. Part of him couldn’t help but be glad Jihoon had ended up clinging to Taeil. The guy was older and more experienced with parts of life. He could handle a younger, needy person without getting lost.

“They’re close now,” Jiho commented, watching the two of them go into Taeil’s room across the common area. Jihoon closed the door behind them.

“They’re fucking.” Yukwon sounded more like himself. So much so that it took a few moments for his words to sink in.

“What?” Jiho didn’t bother trying to hide his shock.

Yukwon nodded. “They think they’re being sneaky but they’re pretty obvious.” He chuckled. “It’s funny to be honest. They started it up almost right away and it’s been going on ever since.”

“How did that even happen?” Jiho had to ask. As far as he knew, those two had never met until Taeil moved in.

Yukwon shrugged. “No idea.” He squeezed Jiho, hugging him. It was comforting, having Yukwon hug him. Not like a Jaehyo hug but then, there was nothing like one of those. The hug from Yukwon was sobering though. It reminded Jiho that he wasn’t alone, that he had a house full of humans who all depended on him.

He closed his eyes, trying to deal with the memory that hit him. Not that long ago, he and Yukwon had been in this same bed. Jaehyo had been with them and he’d promised he’d stay with them. That had been a lie but Jiho couldn’t blame Jaehyo for that. But Jiho also remembered a promise he’d made to Jaehyo. He’d promised to take care of their boys and not let everything fall to pieces. So far he’d been doing a shit job of that.

“I need help.” He didn’t like admitting it but it was true. “I want to be strong and hold it together but I don’t know if I can.”

Yukwon gave a little nodd. “I know. It’s...we can’t keep doing this.”

Jiho understood exactly what ‘this’ meant. They couldn’t keep falling into grief, shutting down and locking out the rest of the world. It wasn’t helping anyone, least of all themselves.

“I just don’t know what to do.” Jiho bit his cheek. “How to do anything.”

Yukwon squeezed. “I know. We’ll figure it out. Somehow.” There was a strained quality to his voice that made Jiho frown. He couldn’t say what but there was just something that made Jiho have trouble believing Yukwon. He decided to chalk it up to stress. If he started to question Yukwon, he’d only drive himself crazy.


	33. the rule of changing happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, feel free to scream at me ^^

It was strange to have the house so quiet. There was usually someone around but tonight he was alone. He was glad. Most nights he’d been able to hold it together but tonight wasn’t most nights. Zico sighed as he found himself outside, sitting and looking over Jaehyo’s grave.

The flowers Jihoon had planted were doing well. Somehow. It was a minor miracle since no one appeared to be taking care of them. Maybe a neighbor was doing it.

Sitting on the step, he looked up at the night sky. The full moon hung in the sky, a bright reminder of how he’d failed. “It’s been a month,” he told Jaehyo. Being here, at this moment, he could almost feel Jaehyo. It felt like he was listening. “A full moon cycle since we tried your plan. You might have figured it out already but it didn’t work. You didn’t come back.”

A light breeze ruffled his hair. If he closed his eyes, Zico could almost imagine it a hand playing with his hair. “Yukwon took the boys out for dinner tonight. I think he just wanted to get them away from here.” They’d invited Zico but the voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Jaehyo’s had whispered for him to stay.

“He’s...he’s doing better. At first, he took it rough. We all did. But he’s trying.” Which felt good to see even if Zico felt like he himself was doing a shit job of holding it all together. “He’s been pushing for me to get more people in the house.”

“Mino has some friends he wants me to meet. I’m thinking about it.” he was but it was hard. Bringing in more people was the right thing to do but it was hard. They wouldn’t know Jaehyo. They wouldn’t understand. He’d done it before but that’d been out of necessity.

Looking up at the room, Zico felt alone. Really and truly alone. “I should have stopped you but I couldn’t.” He’d been afraid to try and stop Jaehyo. He’d been worried on some level that Jaehyo would do something desperate, would take some sort of drastic action. And in the state he’d been in, Zico knew he wouldn’t have been able to resist whatever that might have been.

But that was a lie and he knew it. The lie helped him find some semblance of peace though so he let himself believe it.

A cold breeze, one so cold that even Zico felt it, hit him. Something about it was odd. If he was in the middle of nowhere, he’d almost expect to hear something howl. It just sort of fit the mood.

Scratching.

He didn’t know why it took him so long to notice. Digging and scratching. Scraping. He felt the call of blood, his very essence singing in his ears. A heavy weight hung in the air.

A pale hand clawed at the surface, grasping for something, anything. His breath, the one he hadn’t needed in centuries, caught in his throat as Zico watched. There was only one person that could be. Even if there was a second body down there, Zico recognized that hand. It was as familiar to him as his own.

Jaehyo.

Except this didn’t make sense. It was one full moon, not a whole damn cycle. Three nights, that was it. He was absolutely certain of that. So what the hell was Jaehyo doing now? Clearly he was clambering out of his grave but why?

Then Jiho felt his heart wake up. Stop asking questions, it pleaded. You’re getting another chance. He scrambled over to where Jaehyo had almost reached the ability to pull himself out. Reaching out, Jiho pulled the baby vampire to him. He could feel the blood in him calling to Jaehyo, could hear the returning cries of hunger ringing through to his own very core.

“Jaehyo…” he wasn’t even sure what he was trying to say. He just wanted the one he loved back. There was something missing though. Zico forced himself to take a clear look at the man in his arms. Wild eyes. Jaehyo had wild eyes. Just like Jiseok.

A sense of despair and dread filled him. Jaehyo might have made the physical change into a vampire but his mind needed more time. And they had a house full of humans who would be back soon. Jaehyo would want to feed and he’d want one of them. Jiho wouldn’t let that happen.

The lure of blood drew Jaehyo to him. The man followed after Jiho as he walked threw their house. It was a relief. Jiho was strong and Jaehyo was still relatively weak right now but it would have been a struggle for him to try and get Jaehyo down to their floor of the house.

He knew Jaehyo, knew that Jaehyo would love nothing more than a hot shower right now. The only problem with that was that Jiho was afraid he wouldn’t be able to control Jaehyo. The promise of blood only went so far after all. Still, Jiho could hear Jaehyo’s complaints about the lack of shower as he tightened the shackles onto Jaehyo. “Sorry,” he told the man. “You can yell at me later.” He hoped that Jaehyo was able to yell at him about this one day.

Pain hit Jiho as Jaehyo bit down. He couldn’t help but wince. Jaehyo was very new to feeding. That was clear from the way he bit down forcefully. It was a good thing Jiho wasn’t human because he’d have bruises. Jaehyo had no clue just how strong he was now. It was a good thing Jaehyo didn’t know that yet. It would have been so much harder to get him down here if he’d known that.

Jaehyo was taking a lot of blood. Jiho didn’t mind. He was full of rich, magic-filled blood. Jaehyo’s blood. He’d been able to live off it for the last month now. That would have to change, him not feeding on his humans. With Jaehyo feeding off him, Jiho needed more blood. He hoped there would be enough for Jaehyo. It had been an impossibly long time since Jiho had been a young vampire but he remembered the hunger that had fiercely clawed at him.

“Enough,” Jiho said. He tapped the side of Jaehyo’s cheek, trying to get Jaehyo’s attention.

A greedy whine came from Jaehyo so Jiho tapped on the other cheek. That got his new baby vampire to finally let go. Rubbing the spot on his arm Jaehyo had clamped down on, JIho wondered what he should do next. Should he tell the guys about this? He knew he’d have to tell them eventually. The idea of having Jaehyo all to himself though was so nice. It tasted so sweet, knowing he was the only one who got to see Jaehyo.

“All mine,” Jaehyo said, running his finger across Jaehyo’s jaw. He’d forgotten just how handsome the man really was. The Jaehyo in his memories paled in comparison to the real deal even if the Jaehyo in front of him was covered in dirt.

Jiho could fix that. He went into the bathroom and filled a bucket with warm water and Jaehyo’s favorite body wash. He hoped that a familiar scent might help Jaehyo regain who he was.

He loved Jaehyo. Had loved him for years. But cleaning him up, Jiho felt the love in his heart grow more. He knew every part of this body. He had touched every part of Jaehyo before, had explored him both inside and out. And yet this somehow felt more intimate.

Jaehyo was calm which was a surprise. Jiho remembered Jiseok, how he’d always been at such an extreme. Jaehyo wasn’t himself. There was a wildness in his eyes that said the Jaehyo he knew and loved wasn’t home.

“Jaehyo. You were born an impossibly long time ago in a town that’s now called Busan.” Jiho spoke softly as he wiped away the layers of dirt and grime and debris that clung to Jaehyo. He didn’t know if this would help but Jiho figured it couldn’t hurt. So he told Jaehyo everything that was in his heart.

\---

Something was different. Kyung felt it as soon as he entered the house. He wanted to go running and screaming, looking for whatever had caused this change. He didn’t. He had a feeling that wouldn’t be the wisest idea. At best, he’d only look like he’d lost his mind. At worst, he’d get the others riled up too. That didn’t seem like a great idea.

Kyung did freeze for a moment when he saw the rich black dirt on the floor. It seemed to be coming from the kitchen. When he followed the trail, it led him down to Zico’s rooms on one end and to the patch of earth they’d buried Jaehyo in at the other. If it wasn’t for the feeling of something being different, he’d think Zico had dug up the body.

Kyung was almost positive something else had happened while they were out. Something potentially wonderful.

He excused himself and went outside. He wanted a cigarette. Or at least, that’s what he told the others. Thankfully no one followed him.

Zico took forever to pick up which normally would have annoyed Kyung. Today? It only made Kyung’s gut reaction get stronger.

“Kyung?” Zico answered, sounding completely confused.

“What happened with Jaehyo-hyung?” Kyung asked. It was a relief to be able to say Jaehyo’s name again. They’d been tiptoeing around it, around Jaehyo, since he’d died. The entire thing was exhausting. “I saw the dirt and his grave.”

“Has anyone else noticed?” Zico asked. He sounded worried. Kyung chalked it up to not wanting a house full of excited humans.

“Not that I know of,” Kyung answered truthfully. “It’s not really noticeable,” he added.

“You noticed. Immediately,” Zico pointed out.

“I’m special.” And the house had told him. Kyung had had a little help thought he didn’t mention that. For some reason he couldn’t explain, he wanted to keep that to himself.

“He dug himself out of the ground,” Zico said after several moments. “He was supposed to do that last month but didn’t. And now when he was supposed to stay dead, he came back.”

Kyung couldn’t help but notice Zico’s tone. He’d expect to hear happiness or joy or shock in Zico’s voice. Instead, Kyung heard a troubled tone. Was something wrong with Jaehyo? Was that why Zico wanted to know if the others knew?

“What’s wrong?” Kyung glanced inside, making sure no one was listening in.

“Nothing.” A pause and then “everything.” Zico sighed, the weight of it pushing down on Kyung. “He’s not himself but I expected that. It takes a mind longer to recognize the change. But this time thing…”

A little part of Kyung felt proud and special. He hadn’t really taken on the role of confidante for Zico. Sure they’d talked and had conversations about parts of their lives but not like this. This was the sort of conversation Kyung figured the vampire had with Jaehyo, with Yukwon.

“Is there someone you could talk to? LIke another vampire?” Kyung didn’t know how friendly Zico was with his kind but it was the only idea that came to mind.

“N-” the word died on Zico’s lips almost immediately. “Maybe,” he said slowly as if an idea was just hitting him. “I need to contact someone.”

The call ended so abruptly that all Kyung could do was stare at his phone, not quite sure just what had happened.


	34. make your heart tight

He needed Jaehyo’s phone. Jiho threw his own onto the bed he’d shared with Jaehyo, searching for where Jaehyo had stashed his before his death. It felt like it took forever. The place was a disaster by the time he’d found the phone but that was something Jiho would deal with later.

At first, Jiho was worried. The screen was dark and when he pressed the button, nothing. And then the screen popped on. Relief flooded Jiho as he realized the phone wasn’t dead, it’d just been off. It took a few moments but then Jaehyo’s phone started to go crazy. Messages from people, a month’s worth, had the phone buzzing for a solid five minutes. It was so ridiculous that all Jiho could do was laugh. He didn’t look at the messages. It was tempting but they weren’t for Jiho so he let them be.

“Where are you?” Jiho murmured as he scrolled through Jaehyo’s contacts. Jiho smiled a little when he spotted his own name, the ‘Jiho <3’ filling him with an unexpected warmth. He noticed that Jaehyo had Jiho and Yukwon listed as emergency contacts and that Yukwon was listed as ‘Kwonnie <3’ which just made Jiho smile more. “You’re too cute for me,” he said, glancing towards the closed door.

Daesung.

A feeling akin to relief washed over Jiho as he spotted the servant’s name. At best, this was a longshot but it was all Jiho had at the moment.

“Hello,” the man’s voice answered almost immediately. “Your boys spot my missing guy?”

Shit. The guy had been missing for over a month. That couldn’t be good. “They haven’t,” Jiho answered. He could hear the apology in his own voice.

“You’re not Jaehyo.” The accusation in Daesung’s tone was clear. And as silly as it might be, Jiho was happy to hear it. He’d never quite understood the friendship Jaehyo had with this man but the fact that he sounded protective made Jiho like Daesung a little more. He shouldn’t have been surprised. Jaehyo clearly had good taste.

“No, I’m not,” Jiho answered. “I’m his vampire.” It felt really good to call himself that. Jiho normally hated anything that might be possessive but when talking about Jaehyo, it just felt right. Then again, Jaehyo was always the exception to everything.

He heard the human suck in air, clearly not expecting that response. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” Daesung asked slowly, his words careful and deliberate.

“I want to speak to your vampire,” Jiho requested. “I didn’t know any other way to reach your household.”

“Why?” The wariness was still in Daesung’s voice though there was a hint of curiosity in it too. This was an unusual question, the first time this had been done.

What did Jiho say? How in the world did he respond? The idea had seemed so good, so solid, at first. Now that he was actually talking to Daesung though it just felt a bit silly. He decided honesty was best. “I need advice and he’s the only one who might have a chance at being able to help.”

Daesung was so quiet and took so long to answer that Jiho wondered if the guy was still there. Finally Jiho heard a soft sigh. “Let me call you back in a bit?” Daesung requested. “Give me about ten minutes?”

There was nothing he could do. Well, nothing but agree to it. The next ten minutes seemed to drag into forever though. All Jiho could do was wait. It was torture. He could be patient when he had to be but it wasn’t his strongest quality.

Finally Jaehyo’s phone lit up. He answered the call immediately.

“I was told you want to speak to me.”

Jiho checked the phone he had in his hand. Daesung was listed as the caller but that was definitely not Daesung on the other end. It was his vampire.

“That’s correct,” Jiho answered. He’d only met this vampire once and he’d been too clouded with emotion to remember it clearly but he recognized the voice.

“What is it?” The other vampire almost sounded amused. “What sort of advice could you possibly want from me?”

Jiho swallowed, the air sticking in his throat as a painful lump. He felt childish now and the unexpected nerves were not helping one bit. “I turned a human.”

“And this requires me?” Yeah, the guy was definitely amused. Granted Jiho was glad to hear the amusement. It was better than annoyance in any case.

“I did it last month,” Jiho replied.

“And now after a month, you’re losing your mind and want to know if I have any tricks for bringing someone back,” the other said, not letting Jiho finish. “Unfortunately, I have none. You and I both know that a new vampire has to make the mental journey himself.”

“He stayed dead,” Jiho blurted out, trying to get a word in. “Until tonight. He dug himself out a few hours ago.”

An awful quiet was all the slightly older vampire had to offer at first. “You did it all last month with the last full moon?”

“Yeah. The first night. Almost immediately after sunset,” Jiho confirmed. “I did it all exactly like the master did.”

“I’ve never heard of this happening.”

Oh great. Jiho hated hearing that. A part of him was more than a little disappointed that this was looking to be a dead end. He couldn’t really do anything about that though.

“Who was it anyways?”

It was immediately clear just what the other was actually asking. He wanted to know if Jiho had tried to turn Jaehyo.

“You met him,” Jiho admitted. He couldn’t exactly keep this a secret. There weren’t many vampires in general. “The same one from long ago.”

More silence. It was starting to almost not bug Jiho. He wasn’t quite sure how to interpret what that might possibly mean.

“That human would be very old,” the other finally said.

Jiho’s first reaction was to say ‘no shit’ but he bit it back. This conversation wasn’t going horribly and for Jaehyo’s sake, it’d probably be good to stay on good terms with the other household.

“Yes,” was what Jiho said instead. He was proud of his restraint. If Jaehyo were himself, Jiho might even brag to him about it.

“A human that old might not be completely human.”

Jiho fought the urge not to throw the phone in his hand. This was all stuff he already knew. He didn’t need to be reminded. “I’ve never heard of such a human being turned,” the other added. He almost sounded regretful about it.

That being said, Jiho wasn’t exactly surprised to hear the other’s words.

“The only advice I can offer is to watch him.”

Which wasn’t exactly advice. Jiho was about to end the call in disgust except the call was already over. So instead Jiho tossed it onto the bed in disgust. That hadn’t been helpful at all.

He knew he had to tell the house about Jaehyo. The boys deserved to know. Kyung already knew but this couldn’t stay a secret between them.

Jiho went back into the room where Jaehyo was at. Jaehyo looked so calm, staring up at the ceiling. It was only after he really started watching Jaehyo that Jiho realized how calm and still the new vampire was. Too still. He took a moment to look at Jaehyo’s eyes. They were moving, tracking. It made Jiho ill as he realized Jaehyo was trying to track their boys. That he only saw the humans as food right now.

“Jaehyo,” he said, trying to get the man’s attention. He failed. The new vampire was too focused on whatever it was he was fixated on. Jiho felt his unease grow.

\---

They all looked when Jiho turned down the volume on the stereo. He didn’t recognize the song but that didn’t say much. The last month, he’d really dove into himself after all. He hadn’t been spending as much time in his studio, as much time checking out new artists.

“Were we too loud?” Mino asked.

Jiho shook his head. No, no one on this floor could be too loud. When they’d had the building updated and the studio put in, extra soundproofing had gone in. While not impossible, it was hard to hear anything. That simple fact was part of what made Jaehyo’s calmness so scary. He looked like he could hear, could sense, the humans far more easily than he should be able to.

As a human, the house had spoken to Jaehyo. Was it still talking to him? The thought made Jiho shiver a little in alarm. If that were true, he was going to have issues keeping Jaehyo controlled until the man regained his sanity.

He looked at all his humans. They were all looking at him, a variety of expressions on their faces. When Jiho’s eyes landed on Yukwon’s, he knew what he had to say.

“Something happened tonight while you were out.” Just because he knew what to say, that didn’t make it any easier. He kept his eyes locked on Yukwon.

“What happened?” Jihoon’s voice asked. Jiho noted that the guy was laying on the floor next to his best friend. He wasn’t sure when those two had made up but Jiho was glad to see that they had.

“Jaehyo came back.”

Surprised rippled across everyone’s faces but Jiho only had eyes for Yukwon at the moment. He saw the shock and joy fight with hope. It was a painful war to watch.

“He’s not himself,” Jiho was quick to add. And he didn’t know when he’d get his Jaehyo back. That particular thought hurt. He just wanted to curl up with Jaehyo, to touch him, to trace every line on the man’s beautiful body. But he couldn’t.

“He’s alive?” Yukwon asked. His voice was barely more than a whisper. He was shaking. It hurt to watch him, to see the way Yukwon was reacting. Jiho fought himself, the urge to go over and hold Yukwon.

Jiho nodded.

“Did you get the timeline mixed up?” Taeil asked. He was lounging on a sofa, looking completely relaxed. It was so different from all the others that Jiho couldn’t help but take note of it.

Jiho glanced towards Kyung. He looked curious about Jiho’s answer as well. “No,” the vampire replied. “I was able to speak to a reliable source and he confirmed that it’s supposed to be three nights.”

“We’re both confused by this,” Jiho admitted. He moved, sitting next to Yukwon. Almost immediately, the guy leaned onto Jiho. The touch was comforting, bringing a sense of groundedness. “So now we just wait.”

“For how long?” Taeil asked. Before Jiho could answer, he noticed the quick glances Kyung, Jihoon, and Mino all shared. Curious. Jiho wanted to ask about it but Yukwon spoke up before he could.

“Until he comes back to us,” Yukwon said. There was a finality in the way he said it that made Jiho feel better. They would wait this out. Even if everyone else gave up and left, he would have Yukwon.

\---

“Can I see him?” Yukwon asked later when it was just the two of them.

Yukwon’s voice was soft, his tone tentative and almost afraid. In that instant, he looked young. He looked scared. Jiho reached out, pulling Yukwon into his arms. “Not now,” Jiho told the young man even though it broke his heart to say. He wanted Yukwon to have happiness, to give him everything.

He couldn’t though. He’d promised Jaehyo that he wouldn’t let Yukwon see him that way. A part of Jiho was afraid too. Jaehyo wasn’t in his mind. That wasn’t his Jaehyo shackled to the wall downstairs. However there was an intelligence lurking in Jaehyo’s mind. That intelligence freaked Jiho out because it shouldn’t be there. At least he didn’t think it was supposed to be. All he knew was that he had to keep Jaehyo as far away from their humans as possible.

Yukwon seemed to fold into himself. Jiho expected that and tightened his hold on the human. “I know it hurts,” he murmured in Yukwon’s ear. He felt like an ass. He could see Jaehyo. He wasn’t restricted. He had the ability to see, to touch, Jaehyo. “He’s not himself right now.”

Jiho fought himself. Should he say it? If Yukwon knew it was a request from Jaehyo himself, that might make it easier for him to accept not being able to see Jaehyo. Or would that just make Yukwon mad? Would he be upset to learn about the request? Jiho didn’t want to cause any sort of wedge to form between the two. They’d already had a few issues right before Jaehyo had died. And as someone who’d had a strained relationship with Yukwon, Jiho understood just how awful that could be.

“Before everything,” Jiho spoke softly, whispering in Yukwon’s ear still, “he made me promise him one thing.” That wasn’t completely true. Jaehyo had made him promise many things, some of which still didn’t sit right with Jiho, before he died.

Yukwon didn’t look up. “What was it?” He asked, his voice the embodiment of misery.

Placing a kiss on Yukwon’s cheek, Jiho told him. “He didn’t want you to see him until he’s himself again. I promise you this: as soon as that happens, I will get you and bring you to him.”

It didn’t feel like enough so he said it again. “You’ll be the first to see him.”

“I better be.” There was that spark that defined Yukwon. Jiho smiled. He couldn’t help it.

\---

Jiho looked in the room. Instantly he had a hand trying to claw at him. He jumped back in surprise. In fear.

He turned when he heard chuckling. “Too close,” he heard a familiar voice say in stilted Korean. “You know you have to stay back or he’ll get you.”

Jiho nodded. He knew that. He really didn’t need to be reminded. As much as he wanted to, tried to, he couldn’t forget who was in that room. What he’d become. But he’d wanted to see Jiseok tonight. It had been roughly four years since they’d lost Jiseok to this. Four long years. Mom had almost given up. She wouldn’t say it but Jiho could see it. Jiho wanted to say he hadn’t give up too but he couldn’t. He just didn’t have that kind of strength.

“I just wanted to see him again,” Jiho admitted. He didn’t want to seem weak, vulnerable, in front of this man but the master always seemed to reduce Jiho to this. It made Jiho hate him even though the man had probably saved them. Not that this was much of a life. Death might have been a kinder fate. It sure as hell would have been kinder in the long run.

The master, he didn’t have another name, sighed. He was disappointed. Not a huge surprise. The master wasn’t a fan of humanity. Any signs of it always left him giving that same disappointed expression. “You’re going to have to leave this silly idea of being human behind,” he said to Jiho.

It was all Jiho could do to nod. He knew this. That was why he’d come to see Jiseok tonight. He’d wanted to see his brother one last time before Jiho himself faced the same potential fate.

A part of him was protesting his upcoming change. He felt guilty and more than a little scared. Jiseok had attempted it four years ago. And while he’d physically comeback, that creature wasn’t his brother. It had his brother’s body but his brother would never have attempted to attack him like that.

Mom was still awake. Jiho let himself be pulled into her arms. Any other time he might have balked at the action, protested it. He wasn’t the same sickly child he’d once been. There was something comforting about her and her arms. It took him back to the days when he was younger, when life wasn’t scary and monsters weren’t lurking so close.

“You’ve been doing something tonight,” she said. Her voice was sad, like she already knew where he’d gone.

So he told her. They didn’t keep secrets anyways. Life was difficult enough as it was. No need to make things harder. “I went to see Hyung.”

She gave a soft, knowing nod. “And how was he?” She was stroking his hair now. It was enough to make Jiho feel okay about this. He wasn’t a child and he hated being treated like one. But this was his mother and he didn’t have many more days of humanity left.

“Still the same,” Jiho replied. They didn’t need to go into it. Everything they might have said had already been said at some point.

At some point, Jiho found it hard to keep his eyes open. He let himself fall asleep, feeling safe and comforted in his mother’s arms.


	35. there was something more precious than myself

Taeil felt like he was suffocating. There was a heaviness on him that didn’t go away. He was trapped. It triggered a reaction that said start kicking and punching. Thankfully he woke up a little more before he started to do that because he recognized the weight. Jihoon. Which really only left Taeil with one option. (Okay there were plenty of options but there was only one that wouldn’t make Jihoon made at him.)

He sighed in annoyance. It did nothing which sounded about right. He distinctly remembered going to bed alone. And yet, here was Jihoon. Taeil needed a bigger bed if this was going to continue happening because even though Jihoon had his own bed, he kept insisting on sleeping in Taeil’s.

It took far more wriggling and shifting than Taeil was comfortable admitting to get out of the bed. He felt more like himself now though. This whole relationship thing was not his thing and he still wasn’t sure how to act. The whole situation was still weird to him. It was awkward and uncomfortable at times. Times like now.

Looking down at Jihoon’s sleeping face, Taeil felt a storm of conflict inside himself. A warmth he was unaccustomed to washed over him whenever he saw Jihoon. At the same time, he couldn’t help but feel annoyed. Sleep was important to him. Hell, it honestly wasn’t even the sleep. It was the issue (concept) of personal space. Well, Jihoon’s lack of understanding that it was a concept.

He grabbed a towel and a change of clothes. He headed towards the bathroom. He was glad he’d taken the room he did because he could hear whenever anyone was taking a shower. When he looked at Yukwon’s door, he wasn’t even sure the guy was awake.

What was his life?

This wasn’t the life Taeil thought he might have. He had never pictured this sort of life for himself. He’d always been more of the sort to figure this shit out as he went. He didn’t have to think about others. He didn’t need to. That was the point.

He looked at himself in the mirror. It was fogged with steam and he could barely see himself. In just a short time, he’d had so many people enter his life. They all grabbed at him, pulled him farther and farther away from himself. They wanted him to do this thing, support that person, hold things together here.

It was exhausting. He hadn’t signed up for this. He hadn’t seen this written in any contract (not that he’d signed anything anyways). He’d told Jihoon he’d date the guy, that they’d be in a relationship so some of all that was part of being with Jihoon. He could accept that.

The package deal that was everyone and everything else? Exhausting. And while he was alone with himself, he could be honest. He didn’t know how much longer he could last. The mirror had cleared up some by now. Looking at himself, he hardly recognized the person he saw. He looked the same and yet he didn’t.

After he was dressed, Taeil headed up to the kitchen in search of food. He couldn’t help but notice Zico talking with someone in his studio. In the kitchen, he found Mino munching on an apple.

“They still talking in the studio?” Mino asked.

Taeil nodded. “That’s what it looks like,” he replied. “Any leftovers in the fridge?” Because honestly, Taeil didn’t want to cook unless he absolutely had to.

“Yeah, there’s some stuff from the noodle place by the train stop if you want it.” Mino was watching the doorway, all of his attention focused there.

Seeing the food, Taeil grabbed it. There wasn’t much but it looked decent. “Jihoon brought it back for you so feel free to eat it.”

Taeil almost shoved the food back into the fridge. He didn’t though because as much as he felt stressed by everything, that little action warmed his heart. Times like now, Taeil felt like he didn’t deserve to have someone so kind. Then he remembered how Jihoon had no concept of boundaries and that balanced out the kindness a bit.

“Who's the guy with Zico?” Taeil asked. From the way Mino was tensed, it was clear he was waiting on something. There was only one thing different tonight. The guy talking with their vampire landlord.

“Friend of mine,” Mino answered. “Seunghoon-hyung. We’ve worked together on some projects and I suggested him to Zico.”

Taeil gave a little nod. He didn’t know what to say. Besides, his food was ready. He was fairly sure Mino had timed it perfectly because just as the first bite was in Taeil’s mouth, the guy asked his question. “So am I getting my best friend back?”

Taeil started coughing violently as his noodles attempted to choke him. It took a few minutes and some water before Taeil felt confident enough to speak. “What?”

Nothing said he had to speak eloquently.

“I know you two are together,” Mino continued. “Jihoon told me about it but I kind of figured it out already.” Mino smiled. “It was pretty obvious when I caught him trying to sneak into our room.”

Taeil honestly didn’t know what to say in response to that. He knew he needed to say something thought. “I’m not keeping him from anyone.” Just the opposite. Maybe if Jihoon gave him a little space, things would be better and Taeil wouldn’t be feeling quite so stressed. Looking over Mino, he decided to confide in the guy. After all, Mino was close to Jihoon. He might understand. Or at least, that was Taeil’s plan. Thanks to Zico and the guy following him, Taeil didn’t actually get a chance to ask what he wanted.

“So?” Mino asked, his full attention on the two who had joined them.

“Looks like I’m moving in,” the new guy answered. “It feels kind of sudden but…”

Mino gave a knowing nod. “Zico makes some good offers.”

Wasn’t that the truth? Taeil’s bank account was very fond of the vampire.

“Taeil-hyung, this is Seunghoon-hyung.” Mino was grinning. “Seunghoon-hyung, this is Taeil-hyung. He’s been the newest person here until now.”

Taeil gave a little nod, holding up the bowl of noodles so he wouldn’t have to talk. He took the opportunity to just watch and listen to the others. He’d been the last one to join so watching someone else look around and ask the questions he himself had asked not that long ago was odd. Interesting but still odd.

Zico seemed to be holding back too. And in that moment, a realization dawned across Taeil. He waited until Mino and his friend left to make his move.

“Can we talk?”

Zico raised an eyebrow but nodded. It didn’t really help with the nerves all of a sudden.

“I think I’m going to lose my mind,” Taeil admitted.

“Any reason why?” Zico sounded amused. Taeil wasn’t sure if he wanted to shut up or deck the guy.

“How do you handle living with someone who drives you crazy?” He hadn’t meant to ask it quite that way. It was too late to take that back now. And as much as he hated to admit it, his words were true.

Zico bit back a chuckle. It was plain to see and that just made Taeil a tad more pissed. “Jihoon?”

How the fuck did everyone know?

“You two haven’t been subtle,” Zico added. “What’s the issue?”

“He’s clingy.” Guilt hit Taeil even as he said it. “Just...it’s getting to be too much.”

Zico gave a knowing nod. “And there’s never a break. He’s here and then you go out together and you’re with him and you come home to him.”

Exactly. “Basically.” Taeil was just glad he didn’t have to explain in detail.

“It’s tough.” Zico was smiling but sadness lingered in it. “But I think the situations are different. With Jaehyo, we’d already been living together when we kind of fell into each other.”

Somehow that didn’t surprise Taeil. He’d never heard the story of how those two had ended up together. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious to hear more. “Also their personalities are completely different.”

True. The idea of snuggling up with Jaehyo didn’t sound great. He was a nice guy but he just wasn’t appealing. Not like Jihoon.

“I had to basically tame Jaeyo. He was completely distrustful back then so by the time we started sharing a bed, it just felt like a natural step,” Zico continued on.

“So no jumping into bed and living together, attached at the hip, from the very start.” Taeil felt a sense of relief at just being able to say it all out loud.

“No, not quite,” Zico admitted. “Have you talked to Jihoon about any of this?”

Shaking his head, Taeil couldn’t help but feel a little like he was getting scolding. “No. It’s...it’s hard.”

Zico nodded. There was a sort of softness in his whole demeanor. It was unlike the normal version of the guy. This was a different side of the vampire and Taeil thought he might be seeing some of what had drawn Jaehyo to him. Until now, he’d always wondered just what brought those two together. They’d always seemed so different but maybe they weren’t so different after all.

“It will only get worse until you sit down and talk with him about this,” Zico advised.

\---

His own words were ringing in his head as Jiho walked down to his own rooms. He’d given Taeil the only advice he could. It didn’t seem like enough but it was all he had.

“I think I’m taking you place,” he told Jaehyo. The guy was watching him, eyes sharp. It tore at Jiho to see that sort of look in Jaehyo’s eyes. As much as he looked like Jaehyo, the vampire shackled to the wall wasn’t his Jaehyo. “Did you know Jihoon and Taeil are seeing each other?”

Probably. Those two weren’t subtle and Jaehyo had this uncanny ability of knowing everything that went on in the house. “Taeil’s having issues adjusting to it all,” Jiho continued on. He came closer to the other vampire. If he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine things were right again. He reached out to feed Jaehyo.

A grip so strung it threatened to crack his bones latched onto Jiho. He winced in pain but didn’t pull away. He wasn’t sure he could. Jaehyo had always been stronger than he looked but this was kind of ridiculous. The vampire held Jiho’s wrist with one hand. His other hand was gripping the shirt Jiho wore, pulling him closer.

He could feel a breath on his neck. Nothing new there except Jaehyo’s breath wasn’t warm anymore. Jaehyo wasn’t warm. That was the hardest part about this whole situation. The nuzzling at his neck wasn’t helping. This beautiful man who Jiho had known and relied on for so long looked so much like his Jaehyo. He sounded like him and smelled like him too. But it wasn’t him. It was him. The back and forth was exhausting.

Jiho winced when Jaehyo bit down. They’d have to work on that once he had his Jaehyo back. All he wanted was to fold in, to rest against Jaehyo. He couldn’t thought. Jiho had to be the strong one here. Until Jaehyo left, Jiho had never quite understood just how much Jaehyo carried on his shoulders. Of the two of them, Jaehyo was the strong one. So much weight had been carried by Jaehyo. Jiho honestly had no idea how Jaehyo had been able to stand it.

“Let go,” Jiho ordered when it felt like Jaehyo had taken enough. There was a reluctant whine. For a moment, Jiho wondered if he’d have to force Jaehyo off. Thankfully, that proved to be unneeded when Jaehyo let go.

Jiho pulled away even though it broke his heart. Taking a seat on the chair he’d placed in the room, Jiho watched. Blood dribbled down the side of Jaehyo’s mouth. It drew his attention and he couldn’t look away from the blood, how it was staining Jaehyo’s lips and turning them a beautiful, delicious shade of red. He held himself back but just barely. Jiho couldn’t help how his gaze lingered though.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Jiho admitted. He might have felt weird essentially talking to himself but he didn’t. It did make his hackles raise at how Jaehyo seemed to be listening to him though. How he was paying attention.

The sun was starting to rise. Jiho could feel it calling him, pulling him to sleep. He wanted to resist. He couldn’t. Reluctantly, Jiho left the room and went to his bed. He couldn’t bring himself to close the door between their two rooms. It might be selfish but he felt better being able to see Jaehyo.

Dreaming was not part of Jiho’s life. He’d lost the ability forever ago when he’d died. At first, it had bugged him. He mourned the unexpected loss, at least, he had until he met Jaehyo. And then he’d seen how nightmares plagued the man. While he mourned the loss, Jiho was glad he didn’t have to face those same sorts of horrors when he slept.

For the first time since he was human, Jiho dreamt.

The setting sun ripped Jiho back into consciousness. It was rough. His heart was racing and his mind was full of images. A woman with sad eyes. The massive gate that seemed impossibly tall. A drum that was ornately decorated. He could swear he smelled smoke. There was a song playing over and over in his head. When he tried to focus on it, to remember the words, they escaped him. Trying to remember them was like trying to hold onto water. Impossible.

The song seemed to be getting louder. Looking into the open doorway he saw Jaehyo. The man was sitting there, watching Jiho. He was humming the same song that had haunted Jiho’s dream. It was enough to make Jiho shiver instinctively. He wasn’t afraid but it was definitely enough to creep him out.

“What song is that?” Jiho asked. He didn’t recognized it yet it felt familiar somehow. No response from Jaehyo. It wasn’t exactly a surprise.

Jiho hated himself when he stepped onto the staircase. A sense of relief flooded JIho as he was able to relax. He loved Jaehyo but always having to be aware around him was draining.

Yukwon was awake but still in bed. Jiho knew it was a selfish move but he immediately sat on the bed, taking comfort in Yukwon, in his very presence. And he was glad that Yukwon seemed content to just let Jiho sit there. No questions, no poking and prodding. Jiho was allowed to just exist.

The song Jaehyo had been humming wouldn’t leave his head. It just played over and over, looping back onto itself to create a little loop of torture. Looking at Yukwon, Jiho wondered if he’d ever heard it before. “Do you recognize this?” Jiho asked as he started to hum the song.

Yukwon shook his head. “No. Should I?”

Jiho didn’t know the answer to that question so he went with honesty. “Jaehyo was humming it when I woke up.” Jiho sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Something about it just feels really familiar but I can’t figure out why.”

“Hyung was humming?” That was apparently all Yukwon had gotten out of that. It would have been cut if it weren’t frustrating. The hope in Yukwon’s eyes didn’t exactly help either.

“He’s not the Jaehyo you know,” Jiho answered. “He looks like Jaehyo but he isn’t.”

Yukwon seemed to deflate. Jiho felt awful for crushing that little sign of hope but it was too dangerous. It was hard enough to say if Jaehyo would return to them. Thinking he was close would only be more crushing later if Jaehyo didn’t.

“I hate this,” Yukwon finally said. “I think it might have been better if he never came back.” There was a glumness to his tone that physically hurt to hear. He understood though. And that might have been what led him to what he did next.

\---

Something about Zico changed. Yukwon saw it immediately. In that instant, he understood something Jaehyo had told him long ago. He’d said that two people shared the vampire’s body. There was Zico who was loud and brash, impulsive and powerful. And then there was Jiho, the human he’d once been. Someone who was soft and kind, who listened and took everything to heart. He cared too much and got hurt too easily. And that was why all the humans only ever saw Zico. Yukwon had been a child, new to the house, when he’d been told that.

He’d seen glimpses over the years. Moments where he thought he saw someone else but then the Zico he knew would come back. He’d half thought it was something Jaehyo had made up. He wasn’t the type to lie but it hadn’t been a hurtful one so the thought had seemed plausible.

Now? Now Yukwon could see the truth. The person sitting at the foot of his bed was not the normal version of the man Yukwon had grown up with.

“When I was human, I had an older brother.” Zico’s voice was full of guilt and sorrow. Yukwon had a sinking suspicion that the ending wasn’t going to be happy. There was too much sadness, too much weight in Zico’s words for the outcome to be anything else.

Zico shifted so that he was facing away from Yukwon. “The one who turned me turned my brother first.”

“What happened?” Yukwon asked. He knew it was probably unneeded, that he would hear the story regardless. It just felt like a question he should ask, that the moment called for it.

“He never made it back to us.” There was finality in that. In Zico’s voice. It killed any questions Yukwon might have asked. He knew they wouldn’t get answered, at least, not now. That didn’t mean he couldn’t save them for another time. And it didn’t mean the meaning behind Zico’s sharing was lost on Yukwon. Zico had gone through this before. From his words and general demeanor, it was clear things hadn’t worked out. Despite the worst possible outcome, Zico was still here. He’d survived.

In a way, it was comforting to hear. But at the same time, it didn’t exactly ease the fear that kept threatening to overwhelm Yukwon. This was now the third turning he’d heard of and it had been unsuccessful. Zico’s had turned out fine and they were waiting for a final verdict on Jaehyo’s.

“I’ve got a guy coming over tomorrow to create you,” Zico said, changing the mood. Relief hit Yukwon. Thinking about things they couldn’t change wouldn’t help the situation so it was best not the dwell on the situation with Jaehyo any longer than he needed.

Zico stood. “You’ll have to decide a few things.”

“Like what?”

“A family name for one,” Zico answered. “And a birthday.”

Yukwon smiled. “Well the birthday one is easy at least.” He’d picked a date years and years ago. When he’d been a very small child, his mother had said he’d been born when the cherry trees blossomed. When Jaehyo had asked him to pick a birthday, it had felt right to pick the first day he saw a tree in full bloom the next time that rolled around.

More relief hit Yukwon as he was left to process everything once Zico left his room. It was hard to pinpoint the exact cause. The story, knowing Jaehyo was doing something, his future. They all seemed to be signs for the best. At least, that how Yukwon decided to interpret it all at the moment. If he tried to think about this all in any other way, he felt like he might lose his grip on what was left of his heart.

He was going to be able to have a future. It was a relief. All these years, Yukwon had willingly stayed in this house. It was his home after all. He’d essentially grown up here. He couldn’t lie, not to himself. There had been times he’d thought of leaving but had felt trapped. Where would he go? Hell, where **COULD** he go? In the eyes of the world, he was a non-entity, someone who didn’t exist. Until now. Soon he would be a person and if he wanted them, Yukwon could have options.

That didn’t stop the nerves when Yukwon was actually sitting down with Zico’s man. He wasn’t exactly what Yukwon thought he might be. The man sitting across from him was completely average in every way. An average height, dark brown hair that was cut into the same style Yukwon saw on almost every guy. He wore a dark navy suit and carried a briefcase. He would fit in perfectly in any office. And he refused to give a name. Something about him was scary in a way that Yukwon couldn’t figure out. He decided he really didn’t want to figure it out either.

In fact, Yukwon had already decided that the less he know about this man, the better.

“Name?”

Yukwon glanced over at Zico. He couldn’t help it. Hopefully this wouldn’t upset the guy but Yukwon had thought long and hard about this. “Kim Yukwon.”

“Why Kim?” Zico asked. Thankfully there was amusement in his voice instead of anger or hurt.

“It’s common.” That was why he’d decided to go with it. No one would even blink at him if he told them this name. So many people had the name Kim and it would allow him to just fade away like he’d always been there.

“Date of birth?” The nameless man asked, clearly not interested in their side conversation.

“April 9th.”

And so the interview went. The nerves that had appeared at the start faded as he spoke. It felt good to create an image of himself, a version he could present to the world. It felt like he was growing up in a way. He’d never thought it would be this liberating of a feeling but it was and he couldn’t help but feel a surge of gratitude towards Zico for giving him this moment.


	36. i feel empty

Kyung looked at the door, wondering if this was okay. Minhyuk had given him the code for the door and he’d said Kyung could come by whenever he wanted. It was one thing to be told this. It was an entirely different thing to be faced with the reality.

He went in. For some reason, he was disappointed in how dark and cold the place looked. He’d been here before but without Minhyuk, it just felt completely different.

He knew Minhyuk was out. That the guy had started working at a cafe (Muja-something, Kyung couldn’t remember the name of the place). That didn’t take away the feeling of loneliness that had been plaguing Kyung all day.

“Happy birthday to me,” he sang to himself. It didn’t help combat the feelings one bit. Looking at everything in his life, Kyung knew he should be happy. The shitshow that had been his life until recently had eased away and it was all looking up. And here Kyung was, unable to feel happy. He was pretty sure he was cursed.

He took a seat on the sofa. And that turned into laying down. If he were home, he’d probably have turned on the tv. Put on some sort of variety show that he could tune out. He wasn’t home though so he just laid there. The apartment got darker but Kyung didn’t move.

“What’s he doing here?” An unfamiliar voice asked. Kyung kept his eyes closed. He was curious to know who the voice belonged to but at the same time, he didn’t. Knowing his luck, it’d either be Minhyuk’s cousin or the guy he thought Minhyuk might be seeing. His brain, that ever suspicious bastard, couldn’t get the idea out of his head. Minhyuk had always been a popular, busy guy. It was just that lately he seemed to be spending more and more time away, that he had less and less time for Kyung.

How close Minhyuk had been to that guy at the club, how he’d looked when he’d spotted Kyung. It was a plausible idea. Kyung hated it. The thought was absolutely awful and he didn’t want to consider it an option. He just couldn’t help it.

“He’s getting sloppy,” another unfamiliar voice replied. “We’re going to need to have a talk with him about this.”

Weird. That was not at all the sort of thing Kyung had expected to hear. Maybe pretending to sleep was the smartest thing to keep doing right now.

“Think he suspects anything?” The first asked. Kyung had a feeling the two were standing over him, just watching him. It was a creepy feeling especially since Kyung couldn’t remember hearing them come in. He had to fight himself so that they thought he was still sleeping.

The second made a noise. Or was that a third person? God, Kyung wanted to look. By the cursing, Kyung thought they might have a third and that person wasn’t cooperating. The voices all moved away until they vanished. But it didn’t sound like they’d left. They’d been moving away from the door, going further into the apartment. What the hell?

Kyung didn’t dare move. Who knew when those two would be back? Okay and part of him was kind of hoping he was having a really twisted dream.

“That fucker bit me!”

And they were back. From the sounds of it, they’d come from the cousin’s room. If there was actually a cousin. Kyung was starting to doubt that.

“He’s no better than the scum he serves.” The other one sounded like he was trying to calm his partner down. “As soon as he gives us that thing’s location, you can get your revenge.”

An annoyed and somehow smug sounding huff was followed by a “damn right I will.”

They left, this time leaving properly by going out the door. Kyung stayed where he was, pretending to sleep. Better to keep up the act for as long as he could. Besides, he had a world of things to think about now.

Who were those guys? How did Minhyuk know them? What the hell was Minhyuk involved in? To be completely honest, it sounded like some sort of gang thing. That plus the rather large and swanky apartment...was Minhyuk from a gang family? A boss’s son or something? It did kind of backup Kyung’s earlier suspicions of Minhyuk being a chaebol. Not quite the same but at the same time, close enough.

Shit. Kyung almost sat up in surprise as a thought hit him. Was Minhyuk an illegitimate child? A tool for blackmail? He always tried to downplay his family, his life before university.

And just what in the world was going on with the “cousin’s” room? Was there someone in there? He felt sick at being in the same apartment as someone who’d been kidnapped. Because Kyung had no doubts that whoever those guys had had was someone who’d been taken against his will.

It was torture but Kyung forced himself to count out ten full minutes. Then he yawned. Loudly. He had to make this as natural as possible just in case someone was watching. If Minhyuk was involved with a gang, it stood like there was a decent chance that cameras might be hidden around the place. Kyung had to look every part of the innocent and clueless boyfriend who’d dropped by and taken a nap.

He went to the kitchen area, making himself a cup of coffee as he thought over his options.

Option 1: pretend like he had something come up and get out of here immediately.  
Option 2: pretend he’d never heard all of that. Let himself stay willfully ignorant.  
Option 3: try to figure this all out even if he didn’t like what he found.

Option 2 was by far the safest. No question about that. But if he did that, would Kyung be able to live with himself?

Taking a sip of his coffee, Kyung wished he could ask someone for advice. Jaehyo sure picked a great time to be dead. He was probably the one person Kyung could take all of this to and not have that person get freaked. Jaehyo understood weird and danger.

As he stood there, drinking his coffee and trying to get his thoughts together, Kyung realized someone was at the door. The keypad was beeping. Panic started to rise in him. He really wanted to see Minhyuk’s handsome face. Kyung didn’t know what he’d do if it was those other guys. It was one thing to pretend to sleep while they were in the room. However coming face to face with them? Kyung wondered if they’d let him live.

That was a question that didn’t need to be answered thankfully. When the door opened, Minhyuk walked in. Kyung almost collapsed in relief. He gripped the counter behind him so he wouldn’t.

Minhyuk spotted him and stopped. “You’re here,” he said, clearly surprised.

Kyung nodded. “Yeah,” he answered. “Came by earlier and kind of passed out on the couch.” There, it was all nice and consistent with earlier.

Minhyuk shut the door behind him. “I’m just surprised to see you here. I figured you’d be spending the day with your family.”

Kyung shrugged. “Thought about it,” he lied. He hated the way the words tasted in his mouth. Something must have shown on his face because Minhyuk came over.

“What is it?” He asked, concern written all over his face. The options were limited. Kyung could keep lying or he could tell the truth.

Kyung decided to go with a different but still valid truth.

“It’s hard being around my family,” Kyung said. “The more time passes, the less they understand me and my life.” And now that he’d said that, he couldn’t help but wonder if that had been the source of his earlier funk. At least on some level anyways.

Minhyuk placed his hands on top of Kyung’s. They felt warm, almost as warm as the coffee. “You’ve got me,” he promised.

But did he? Kyung couldn’t exactly forget the conversation he’d overheard just a little bit ago. His role in Minhyuk’s life felt different now. Hell, Minhyuk felt different now. Kyung wasn’t sure if he knew the man in front of him now.

He had to place his trust somewhere or he would drive himself crazy. Taking a moment, Kyung decided to look at what he knew. For close to a year, he’d been friends with Minhyuk. They’d been dating the last few months. Minhyuk had always been a kind and positive force in Kyung’s life. Any time Kyung felt down on himself, any time life was getting to him, the guy had this way of making everything feel okay. Kyung let himself believe in that. He had no clue about anything else but at least he could trust in the version of Minhyuk he knew. That version hadn’t hurt him. Hadn’t given Kyung a reason to distrust him.

“That means a lot,” Kyung said. He smiled, hoping that he came across as relieved. That the storm of emotions brewing inside him were not betraying him by showing on his face.

“You know,” Minhyuk said, a cheeky smile creeping across his face, “it’s still your birthday. We haven’t done anything to celebrate it yet.”

Well that got Kyung’s curiosity piqued. He looked at Minhyuk. “What are you thinking?” He asked, bringing the cup of coffee to his lips. Minhyuk’s fingers were still wrapped around Kyung’s own. A glance at his boyfriend’s face gave Kyung a wicked idea. Kyung kissed the fingers, his eyes never leaving Minhyuk’s. He didn’t miss the little shiver that rolled through the tall, handsome man.

“I was going to suggest we get a cake,” Minhyuk said. He sounded like he was having trouble speaking. Good.

“Let’s skip the cake,” Kyung murmured. There were butterflies in his stomach as what he knew he was suggesting. But given the way he felt in general, maybe this was just the thing he needed.

Minhyuk swallowed hard. It was so hot watching him do that. To see his Adam’s apple bounce in expectation. Kyung wanted to kiss him. So he did. The hands wrapped around his own fell away. Kyung took the opportunity to put his now basically forgotten coffee cup on the counter behind him.

“Maybe that’s a good idea, skipping the cake,” Minhyuk answered. He grinned and pushed Kyung more towards the counter. It pressed into Kyung uncomfortably so he did the only thing that made sense. He pulled himself up onto it.

Being taller than Minhyuk was weird. Kyung loved it. Things only got better as Minhyuk started undoing the button’s on Kyung’s shirt. The way his fingers moved, fast and soft all at the same time, was maddening in all the best ways.

“God you’re beautiful,” Minhyuk said once he’d gotten Kyung’s shirt off. It was impossible not to blush. Not with that look of awe on Minhyuk’s face.

“Keep talking,” Kyung replied. It was embarrassing to say but he liked the bit of power he felt afterwards.

Minhyuk’s fingers on his skin burned. Every little caress, little whisper of a touch, made it hard for Kyung to think. “Perfect isn’t a strong enough word for you,” Minhyuk went on. “So sexy and then there’s your mind…”

Kyung couldn’t help the grin on his face. “What about my mind?”

“It’s the best and sexiest part of you.”

The wonder and awe in Minhyuk’s voice made Kyung pull back. He didn’t doubt the guy’s words at all. But the way he’d said that made Kyung feel like he’d made the right decision. That maybe this thing between them was going to turn into the relationship he’d always wanted.

“What about it makes it hot?” KYung wanted to know. His question came out forceful and demanding but given the look that could only be called lust on Minhyuk’s face, Kyung didn’t feel embarrassed. He just noted that apparently Minhyuk liked being bossed around. And that was something Kyung could do.

Minhyuk leaned into him, resting his cheek against Kyung’s chest. He had love in his eyes. That was the only way Kyung could interpret the look being directed at him. He shivered and put his arms around Minhyuk, holding him close.

“Everything,” Minhyuk answered honestly.

That one word caused something in Kyung to snap.

They didn’t make it to Minhyuk’s bed.

\---

Taeil was sleeping. He wasn’t sure if that made it easier or harder to face the guy. Both in all honesty. Ever since Taeil had asked to talk and they’d done just that, everything between them had felt weird and strained. And Jihoon knew it was all himself because Taeil really did seem to be happier now.

It was just...it was hard not to see Taeil’s words as an attack against Jihoon. It really felt like a jab at their relationship. The idea of not trying to constantly touch Taeil, even if it was just a casual and harmless innocent little touch was hard. They hadn’t known each other long but Tatil just seemed to be this sold presence in his life. Everything else around JIhoon felt like it was constantly on the verge of spinning out of control. Whenever he touched Taeil though, he seemed to ground Jihoon.

Being asked not to touch Taeil made Jihoon feel like he needed to touch the guy more. It was silly but it felt like Taiel was always on the verge of slipping out of his grasp. That if Jihoon gave just a little, he’d lose Taeil forever.

That was a scary thought. Losing Taeil. The rational part of Jihoon understood the fear. All his life he had these people who were important to him. Then he lost them. It kept happening. He knew it was silly to think but he just couldn’t help but feel like he’d end up losing Taeil too.

But Taeil seemed more relaxed which made this whole thing harder to understand. To deal with.

Jihoon closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He left Taeil’s room, heading back up to where his own room was. He paused when he saw Minho and his friend that had moved in, Seunghoon.

The house was filling up with people again. Jihoon smiled despite the conflicted storm inside him. It felt right to see more and more people here. The house wasn’t meant to be empty. However it was a little weird to realize that of all the humans left in the house, only one had been there longer than Jihoon.

“Wanna join us?” Minho asked. “We were getting ready to head out and see a movie.”

It didn’t take long for JIhoon to make up his mind. He went with them.

The next morning, Jihoon woke up on the couch in the common room. Minho was sprawled on the floor and Seunghoon had taken the other couch at some point. His head was killing him and Jihoon’s legs were sore. Where had they gone? He couldn’t remember so they must have been drinking. The empty soju bottles on the table only confirmed that theory.

Looking around, it felt like something was missing. No, not something. Someone. He felt silly but all he wanted was to curl up in bed with Taeil. Even though Taeil would probably hate it.

Jihoon did it anyways. Taeil’s bed was nice. It wasn’t the most comfortable bed but it had Taeil in it. He was so small and hard, like a tiny guardian angel. Except Taeil was no angel and Jihoon was pretty sure the things they’d done would have condemned them both to hell anyways.

Getting into the bed must have woke up Taeil because he shifted, looking at Jihoon with bleary, sleepy eyes. As he seemed to realize it was Jihoon, a soft smile started spreading across Taeil’s face. That alone sent a warmth through JIhoon. He could live in Taeil’s smile. It was just...words were unable describe how perfect it was.

“You have fun last night?” Taeil asked. “Woke up and you weren’t in bed.”

That question meant so much. Jihoon wanted to squeeze all the softness he felt into Taeil. He didn’t. He did nod though. “You miss me?” Jihoon asked. He hoped the desperation he felt didn’t come out. That Taeil just heard teasing.

Taeil was quiet. “It was different,” he finally admitted.

Different didn’t mean good and it also didn’t mean bad. So Jihoon decided that wasn’t the worst thing he could have heard. He rested his head on the pillow next to Taeil’s head. “I don’t like this,” he admitted. “Nothing around you and being so hands-off.”

Taeil stayed quiet. Jihoon took the opening that had been left open. At least, that’s how he chose to interpret the quiet. “All of this is hard,” Jihoon continued on. “I want to be with you but it just...it doesn’t feel mutual.” Saying this hurt but it felt like something he needed to say.

“I do,” Taeil replied. He sat up, seeming confused and a bit annoyed. “But I need some space.”

How did he explain it? This was the most frustrating part. “Hearing that just sounds like you’re saying you don’t care and you’d be okay if we went our separate ways.”

Taeil sighed, his own frustration immediately apparent. “I know it’s not what you’re saying but it’s what my brain hears,” Jihoon said before Taeil could respond.

The part of him that had felt restless, the part that had driven him here, struck Jihoon again. He felt like as long as he stayed here, they’d just go round and round and getting more and more upset with each other. He sat up. He hated how this probably looked to Taeil but Jihoon couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t stop his feet from walking towards the door. Every step he took, his feet felt heavier and heavier.

Ignoring the two sprawled out in the common area, Jihoon didn’t stop until he fell into his own bed.


	37. something happened to me

A shifting noise caught Jiho’s attention. The sound of a heart beating rapidly was getting closer. Jaehyo. The human was nervous. Jiho decided to stay where he was, poking at their fire. He’d decided to start tending to it when he’d woken up first and noticed that Jaehyo was still asleep. Looks like the human hadn’t stayed asleep for long.

Jaehyo slowed down but his heart only beat faster. It was killing Jiho not ot turn and look but in the last year or so, he’d learned a lot about how to get Jaehyo to trust him. And the thing that had worked best was giving Jaehyo all the power. To let Jaehyo make all the moves, letting him decide where they were.

Jiho could admit it wasn’t easy. From the very first moment he’d seen Jaehyo, there had been something about him that drew Jiho’s attention. Yes, okay, he was physically beautiful. No amount of dirt and exhaustion could hide it. There was so much more to Jaehyo. He had such a strength to him. HIs spirit, his will, were admirable.

It was clear that something had happened to Jaehyo, that he’d been hurt. Jiho wished he knew who because he wanted to make that person pay. But he couldn’t, not unless Jaehyo shared it was clear Jaehyo wasn’t willing to do that. That was something Jiho could understand. He had things he didn’t exactly want to talk about himself.

Jaehyo sat down next to him. There was no space between them and Jiho couldn’t help the fluttery, jittery feeling. They’d sat like this before and it was slowly becoming more and more normal for them. It was still thrilling though and Jiho felt honored that Jaehyo trusted him this much.

“You’re up early,” Jaehyo said, sleep filling his voice. Sneaking a glance over at Jaehyo, Jiho could see the sleep clinging to the human. It made him look adorable and Jiho had to resist the urge not to brush Jaehyo’s hair off his face.

“It’s turning to winter. The sun’s setting earlier,” Jiho answered. He smiled as he heard a yawn from his companion.

Then something truly unexpected happened. Jaehyo, the same Jaehyo who was always so skittish to touch Jiho, to give in and trust Jiho, did something he hadn’t done before. He put an arm around Jiho. It wasn’t a strong grip but it was there. This time Jiho openly turned to stare in surprise.

“Is...is this okay?” Jaehyo asked. He sounded afraid. If Jiho hadn’t already fallen for the human, this right here would have done it.

“It’s fine,” Jiho answered. He loved the arm around him. The trust it symbolized. “You know how I feel about you.” He’d told Jaehyo about the love he felt towards the man. He’d laid himself bare, not to pressure Jaehyo but instead to let him know. He’d wanted Jaehyo to feel comfortable, especially when he felt like Jiho was getting too close. “Is it okay with you?”

Anytime they made any step towards something, Jiho couldn’t help his paranoia. He was always afraid that Jaehyo felt pressured into it. To his credit, Jaehyo always denied it and usually kept moving forward which helped him see more believable.

Jaehyo nodded. “Yeah,” he said, “it is.”

It sounded like Jaehyo was trying to convince himself which wasn’t exactly a positive sign. Still JIho was willing to let Jaehyo have this moment.

They sat there for a long time. It didn’t bother Jiho. He could stay here like this for the rest of his life. Jaehyo’s stomach was starting to growl though. He got the feeling that Jaehyo wouldn’t move first. That Jaehyo had worked up the courage to do this but now he was too scared to do anything else.

“You need to eat,” Jiho said. “It’s okay.”

There was a reluctance in Jaehyo. In how he pulled away from Jiho. It didn’t take Jaehyo long to come back with food and he took his seat next to Jiho again.

“I hate this,” Jaehyo said. There was a sadness in his voice that was hard to listen to.

“Hate what?” He got the feeling that Jaehyo wasn’t referring to the thing between them. No, it felt like Jaehyo was talking about something else.

“I feel like I’m falling apart.”

Jaehyo was. It was clear to Jiho but he kept that to himself. Jaehyo was clearly struggling with it all as it was. No need to make things worse for the man.

“What do you mean?” Jiho asked instead. This felt like something Jaehyo needed to do, needed to go through.

Jaehyo waved a hand around them. “This. Just...all of this.” There was frustration in his voice. All Jiho wanted to do was reach out and hold Jaehyo. He didn’t.

“When I left and before I came here, I was fine. Then I get here, get settled, and everything becomes hard.” Jaehyo set his bowl down. “It’s frustrating and I don’t know how to get past this.”

Jiho couldn’t help himself. Jaehyo just looked so down and in need of some sort of comfort. He reached over and rest his hand on top of Jaehyo’s leg, right by his knee. “You’ll figure it out,” he said, trying to reassure Jaehyo. “It might take time but you’ve got as much of that as you need.”

Jaehyo leaned against him. The action was a shock but a welcome one. “Thank you.”

The sincerity in Jaehyo’s voice was sweet. It told Jiho that he wasn’t pushing Jaehyo. That Jaehyo was willing to accept and take anything Jiho offered him.

“No need to thank me,” Jiho answered. He wasn’t doing anything. This was all Jaehyo. The human was the impressive one between the two of them.

Jaehyo shook his head but didn’t say anything. They stayed like that for an impossibly long time. If Jiho were still human, he didn’t think he could last this long. An advantage to being technically dead. He could stay like this until the sun rose if he needed to.

“I’m going to bed,” Jaehyo finally said. It was hard to tell just how late it was but Jiho could feel the tug of sunrise pulling at him. He knew he didn’t have much longer himself. And so they went to their beds.

Their home had two rooms. One had their fire, Jaehyo’s food. It was where they spent their waking hours when they were inside. The other room was smaller and held their beds. It wasn’t a huge room but there was enough space that they could each sleep separately. That’s how it had always been and that’s how it would continue to be.

Or at least, it wasn’t any different from normal until Jaehyo reached over and grabbed Jiho’s hand. He held it, not speaking, but clearly taking some sort of support from that action. That was how they both fell asleep.

\---

Looking at the card in his hand, the folder full of papers on the counter in front of him, Yukwon didn’t feel like this was read. He was a real person now. He had an ID. He had a family registry (even if it was a lie and listed him as a only child who had no one left in his family). Everything in this folder was something that everyone else also had. He even had a passport (a passport!) in the folder.

“You okay?” Zico asked. He was watching with an amused smile on his face.

“I don’t know,” Yukwon answered honestly. It felt like the world had opened up to him. He had so much he could do now. This world was far different from the one he’d been born into. And part of him just wanted to run out and see all of it. He’d never been struck with that particular feeling before so it was interesting. Sure he’d wanted to see other places but it had never hit him like this.

“It’s not going anywhere,” Zico reminded. “That’s you now.”

Yukwon nodded. He understood that. It was just an unreal sort of feeling. An unreal moment.

When he woke up that afternoon, it still didn’t feel real. The excitement had him feeling like he was buzzing. He wanted to move. To release all this energy somehow. That feeling was what led him to the park with the track. It was a little farther than the other park, the one he normally went to with Ppo, but this one had a better track.

He ran. The park was a blur as he followed the path. There were some others out, walking and running just like him. He paid them no mind.

Freedom. That’s what the folder and everything inside it represented. He loved Jaehyo and Zico. He had ever since he was a child and they’d taken him in. He would always love them. They were his parents in everything but name. Until he’d seen that ID with his name thought, he’d never realized just how tied to them he had become.

It felt good to run. He could forget everything. The stress of the last couple of months was melting away. If he closed his eyes, Yukwon felt like he might even be able to float away.

“Byulie, come back,” a girl’s voice called out. A moment later, Yukwon noticed a small dog headed his way. A pale blue leash was trailing behind the dog.

Yukwon slowed down until he came to a stop and crouched. “Byulie,” he called, trying to get the dog’s attention. It worked because the dog walked right up to him.

“Hi puppy,” Yukwon said, holding out his hand. “How are you?” It looked to be a nice, friendly dog. That proved to be a true thought as the dog started licking his hand immediately. “You know, I have a dog too.”

More dogs entered his vision. For a moment, Yukwon felt like he was swimming in dogs. Not that that was a bad thing. “Hi guys,” Yukwon said, greeting all his new friends. Looking up, he found a woman on the other end of all the leashes.

He couldn’t breathe. She was stunning. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen a more beautiful woman in his life. She could be a model.

“Thank you for catching my Byul,” she told him once she caught her breath. She bowed, showing her gratitude. When she did that, her pink hair flipped and a soft honey scent drifted his way.

Yukwon nodded, trying to find his voice. It took forever and he felt like an idiot when he was finally about to speak. “Four dogs?”

She nodded and laughed. Her voice twinkled and sparkled with magic. He could listen to it forever. “Yeah,” she confirmed. “Kun, Ddong, and Pang. And then you’ve already met Byul.”

“Four dogs?” Yukwon repeated, standing up.

She nodded again. “I love dogs. They’re just so great. The best friends I could ever have.”

This was something Yukwon could understand. “I have one myself,” he said as he handed over Byul’s leash. “Her name is Ppo.”

“What kind is she?” The smile on the woman’s face was so sweet and pure. Yukwon couldn’t help but melt a little at the sight.

“French bulldog.” Just like the two she had. The fact didn’t escape her because the woman made an excited little squeal. “I’m Yukwon, by the way.”

That got him a little eyebrow quirk, a quistive look on her face. It just felt too weird to call himself by his (new) legal name. He’d been Yukwon since forever and he couldn’t change that. He wouldn’t.

“Sunhye,” she answered back. “Me and my crew,” she jiggled the leashed in her hand, “come here everyday around this time if you and Ppo ever wanted to join us.”

“Yeah, we’ll have to do that,” Yukwon replied. He had a hard time not watching her walk away. That felt like it might be a little too obvious.

She turned and waved before he had a chance to look away. A bright, beautiful grin lit up her face when she spooted him. Yukwon felt a heat rush across his cheeks as a he gave his own wave in return.

If it was possible, he felt like he had even more energy than he’d started with. Her smile, her voice, kept playing in his head as Yukwon ran home. He hadn’t felt like this in a long time. He wanted to see her again. To know why she’d decided to get four dogs because there was definitely more to it than just a love of dogs. There had to be.

“You look happy,” Taeil said when Yukwon got home. “You get laid or something?”

He didn’t bother with answering that. Not everyone was like Taeil where a relationship revolved around fucking. Besides, all Yukwon wanted to do was a take a nice long shower with as much hot water as they had which was exactly what he did.

\---

There was something moving in the room. It was probably just Jaehyo and Jiho rolled over, ready to go back to sleep. His eyes flew open in an instant as he realized that shouldn’t be possible. Panic flooded Jiho for several long moments until his brain was able to process the situation.

Jaehyo wasn’t free. Not entirely anyways. He’d managed to break one of the chains holding him. The other was still intact thankfully. Jaehyo was watching him, the hunger in his eyes clear. It broke Jiho’s heart to see.

“I’m coming,” he promised as he got out of the bed. He wanted to stay in bed longer but he couldn’t. Not when he had Jaehyo depending on him.

Arms reached for him. Jiho let them. He hated himself for how he continually let himself be used by this being who was but wasn’t his Jaehyo. He couldn’t help it though. Jaehyo had always been his weakness.

Lips, soft and needy, pressed against his neck. Closing his eyes, Jiho imagined they were kisses. He just missed the relationship they had had. He could trick himself for only so long though. Sharp fangs pierced his skin, shattering the fantasy in the worst way possible.

He was just food. A walking, talking source of food that wouldn’t let Jaehyo have what he desired. It was a painful thing to think about. Jiho opened his eyes. A faceful of familiar warm brown hair greeted him. He reached up, running his hand through Jaehyo’s hair. His fingers snagged on a tangle.

“I should have brought a brush,” Jiho murmured to himself. To an uncaring Jaehyo.

He could tell it was almost time to force Jaehyo to stop. That if Jaehyo took much more, it would put Jiho himself in a dangerous position.

A surprising thing happened. Jaehyo let go voluntarily. Jiho didn’t even bother trying to hide his surprise. “Jaehyo?”

Has his Jaehyo come back to him? It’d been two months, or well, close to two months since Jaehyo had died. It’d been about a month since he’d come back in this state. Nothing about Jaehyo’s whole transformation had gone as it should so maybe they were finally catching a break.

The wildness in Jaehyo’s eyes crushed the momentary hope Jiho had allowed himself to have. It was silly to let himself feel hope. He knew this process took time. He’d seen and experienced it himself. It just...it felt like forever passed each day Jaehyo was gone. That every day it took Jaehyo to find himself, it was actually him stepping further and further away from them.

Jaehyo watched him as Jiho reattached the broken chain. “I can’t let you get free,” he said even though he knew Jaehyo didn’t understand. After all, Jiho had never heard his mother’s words when she’d spoken to him when he’d been in this same state. “You’d hate me if I let you harm one of the boys.”

A glimmer of something that might have been understanding was in Jaehyo’s eyes. It hurt to see. It was a reminder that Jaehyo might come back but he hadn’t fully returned to him just yet.

Jiho went to his studio. He couldn’t handle being around anyone else right now. He needed to clear his head, to calm his dead heart that wanted to beat ferociously. Memories of Jaehyo’s hands on him. His lips on Jiho’s neck. They kept coming to him, pestering him and reminding Jiho of what he’d had.

Plugging in his headphones, Jiho cued up the track he’d been working on. It was a relief to be able to dive into it. Music had been his escape all his life, all the way back to the days when he’d been a child.

His mother worked hard to support Jiho and his brother. And in turn, they’d tried their best to help her, to try and make her life as easy as they could. Still, Jiho loved the times when Jiseok had snuck him away to see musicians performing. He had admired their ability to make such beautiful music. To be able to provide those who worked and struggled a temporary release, a way of stepping away from their lives if just for a few moments. And in music, all were equal. It didn’t matter where you came from or how much money you were born into. Music only cared about he time and dedication you were willing to put into it.

Calm settled across Jiho as he layed in the different audio tracks. Music had changed a lot since the days of his childhood but in the end, it was still ultimately the same. A song was built by layering in different elements, twisting them around each other to create something unique and magical.

Hunger finally pulled Jiho out of his trance. He need to fee. Jaehyo didn’t take everything but he’d come close. The first human he found was Taeil.

“Mind if I feed?” Jiho asked. It still felt weird to have to ask his humans. These humans in general were new. He hadn’t built a relationship with them like he had with the older residents. Yukwon and even Jihoon to an extent understood and Jiho didn’t have to ask. They just saw him and offered without needing to say a word.

Taeil nodded and held out his arm. “Just not on a tattoo,” he said. Jiho gave a nod of understanding. He would have avoided them anyways.

When he fed from a human, Jiho could sometimes see glimpses of their life. He could pick up on their emotions. The stronger the emotion, the more likely it was that Jiho could pick up on it. He was definitely picking up on turmoil and frustration.

Did he get involved or not? All he wanted was to stay in his own little bubble. Dealing with Jaehyo, with him being so close and yet so far away, was draining enough as it was. Getting involved with someone else’s relationship just sounded exhausting. But then he remembered he’d already gotten involved. Besides, if Jaehyo were around, he’d be trying to figure it all out himself.

He missed Jaehyo so much at moments like this. Jaehyo was the one who was good at stuff like this. He knew what to say to people, how to see just the right solution to any sort of situation. Having Jaehyo had allowed Jiho to stay separated from his humans, had allowed him to not get involved in their lives. It’d been a luxury Jiho hadn’t appreciated until just recently.

“Did you speak to Jihoon?” Jiho asked. Those two had been having their own issues lately and he did know some of those issues. He just didn’t know if those two had worked on their issues or not.

Taeil stared and from the look on his face, it was clear that was not what he’d expected to heart. Taeil didn’t try to fight or deny it though. That was telling. Taeil wasn’t the sort to act like that unless something was really getting at him.

“Yes,” Taeil answered. He was looking down at his colorful hands, refusing to meet Jiho’s eyes. Given how Taeil was, it was a surprise to hear that the guy had spoken with Jihoon. Talking should have helped. “I told him how I needed more space and how constantly being together was draining me. He seemed to understand but then a few days ago he said that giving me space felt like I was asking for us to not be together.”

Jaehyo would have been so much better at knowing just what to say right now. Jiho really regretted asking more about the situation.

“Do you want to be with him?” Might as well get that out of the way.

Taeil sighed. His head hung low and Jiho really wished he’d just minded his own business. But nope, he’d had to ask, to get involved. Too late to take it back now.

“I do,” Taeil admitted. The answer was a bit of a surprise. Given how down and stressed Taeil seemed to be, Jiho kind of figured those two were headed towards some sort of messy break-up. “I just don’t know how to be myself and what he wants me to be.”

That attitude was more mature than Jiho thought Taeil was capable of. It was a nice reminder that Taeil was an adult, that he wasn’t a child. Jiho was glad that JIhoon had found someone who cared for him so much. Jihoon was a good kid who sadly had a lack of people like that in his life.

Still if there was anything Jiho had learned in his long life, it was what he told Taeil next. “You can’t pretend to be anyone.”

That was a lesson Jiho had been forced to learn many times over. He never seemed to be able to learn it. Or he’d learn it and forget it. That was probably what right now was. Jiho knew he wasn’t following his own advice because he was not acting like his normal self. He was acting like Jaehyo but that’s who was needed right now. And this was just temporary. It had to be.

“I’m not trying to. But it feels like he wants me to be someone I’m not. Someone I can’t be.” Taeil shook his head. Jiho understood the frustration. It felt like they were going around in circles.

“There’s no easy solution.” Jiho hated to say it but it was the unfortunate truth. And as an outsider, he was ultimately not able to do anything anyways. Whatever happened, it was on Jihoon and Taeil to work out. Not Jiho or anyone else.


	38. the only thing that makes my heart react is you

“You ready for this?” Minhyuk asked as they walked up to the cafe. It wasn’t fancy or anything special. Somehow that did not help.

“No,” Kyung answered honestly as they went in. He would most likely never be ready for this. For Minhyuk to meet his family. At least the guy wasn’t meeting everyone today. No, today was just Kyung’s sister.

Kyung had reservations about this but it was too late to stop it. The whole topic of Minhyuk had kind of slipped out when Kyung had been talking to his sister. She’d been supportive which made all his nervousness feel extra silly but Kyung couldn’t help it. Introducing Minhyuk to her was scary.

The whole conversation he’d overheard that day (on his birthday no less) was still in Kyung’s head. Minhyuk had never brought it up and there was no way Kyung was going to ask about it. He didn’t want to risk anything. Like his life or those of his friends and family. Kyung had been looking for any clues, any hints, about what he’d heard. He’d found exactly nothing. Granted part of that was probably the fact that Kyung had been avoiding Minhyuk’s apartment as much as he could.

Kyung spotted his sister immediately. Knowing he couldn’t delay this, he led Minhyuk over to her. “Hi Noona,” Kyung said. His voice came out sounding shy and bashful which was extra embarrassing.

She turned and looked at them. A smile lit up her pretty face when she spotted Minhyuk standing next to Kyung. “You never mentioned he was handsome,” she whispered in Kyung’s ear when she hugged him.

Heat blazed across Kyung’s face. “Noona,” he couldn’t help but say, drawing the word out. She laughed and patted his head.

“Now see, that didn’t go to bad,” Minhyuk said afterwards. He had a grin on his stupid, handsome face. To be fair, the guy had a point. Minhyuk had been his polite and charming self. He’d won her over in an instant. To the that she’d asked Minhyuk what he saw in Kyung because they seemed like a mismatched pair. She hadn’t been serious which took the sting out of the remark at least.

“Let’s see what you say when it’s your turn to introduce me to your family,” Kyung shot back. He said it without thinking. The moment the words left his mouth though Kyung realized how dangerous they could be.

He knew Minhyuk was involved in something. And all signs hinted that it might be a family thing. Besides, even without all that, the topic of family was one Minhyuk had a tendency to avoid. It was a curse around the man or something. This had never really been an issue. Family had been one of those topics they just sort of ignored. Until now. It was kind of impossible to avoid now that Minhyuk had met his sister.

“I’m not sure if that’ll happen anytime soon,” Minhyuk replied. The look on his face seemed regretful and somehow that only made him seem genuinely sincere. “My dad actually took my mom to Paris so they could celebrate their anniversary.”

That sounded like such a lie and yet Kyung couldn’t say so. Not without it looking all kinds of suspicious. Besides, he’d seen Minhyuk’s place. Someone who could afford that would probably have no problem being able to afford a trip to Paris. So maybe it wasn’t a lie and this was just a reminder of how different their lives were.

“When they get back,” Kyung said. He hoped the smile on his face was true, that he didn’t have a fake and forced expression on his face that would betray him.

He must have been a not completely horrible actor because Minhyuk only hesitated for a moment before nodding in agreement. “I’ll see what they say,” MInhyuk promised.

Kyung pouted. He felt like an idiot acting like this but it felt natural around Minhyuk. He made Kyung feel light and like nothing else mattered. It wasn’t a bad thing but it was different.

Minhyuk laughed. “Don’t give me that look,” he pleaded. “It’s hard to resist you when you do that.”

Well that was good to know. Kyung filed it away for later. “I can’t help my reactions,” Kyung answered. “They just happen.”

MInhyuk shook his head, his face clearly saying that he didn’t but that but that he wasn’t going to fight it either. Good. “When are you going to take me to your place?” He asked, changing the topic. “I know you live with a bunch of others but you never invite me over.”

That was the truth. Even before the situation with Jaehyo, Kyung had done his best to keep Minhyuk away from that part of his life. Trying to explain Zico and his presence in Kyung’s life was not a simple thing. ZIco was his first love and up until recently, Kyung had had a massive crush on the guy. He didn’t want to have to explain that to Minhyuk.

“There’s been a lot of stuff going on lately,” Kyung said. “We had a couple of people move in.” And that wasn’t even touching the whole situation with Jaehyo. He didn’t know how to explain that without sounding like Kyung had lost his mind.

“All the more reason to bring me over,” Minhyuk answered. “No one will even notice an extra person.”

Oh they’d notice. And once they did, Kyung would never heard the end of it. So Kyung decided to go in a different direction when he responded. “I’ll have to run it by Zico and see if guests are okay.”

A curious expression spread across Minhyuk’s face. “Zico?” He repeated.

Oh shit. Had Kyung never mentioned Zico by name? Thinking back, Kyung couldn’t remember ever saying his fame. Kyung couldn’t back out of it now so he just nodded. “Yeah, him and his partner own the house and rent out the extra rooms.”

There, that explained things. And it was technically true. Kyung just neglected to mention that everyone paid the vampire with their blood. Minhyuk didn’t need to know that part. After all, Minhyuk had his own secrets. It was only fair that Kyung had some of his own.

“Is this the same Zico who produces songs?” Minhyuk asked. He had a gleam in his eye. Crap. Was Minhyuk a fan? It wasn’t outside the realm of possibility.

Kyung nodded, wishing he could keep that to himself but knowing he couldn’t. “Yeah. I met him a while back when I was still going to events and rapping.” Kyung missed doing that. However between school and dating Minhyuk, Kyung didn’t exactly have an abundance of free time. He missed it but life moved on no matter what anyone did to try and stop it.

“Do you miss it?” Minhyuk asked. He tapped Kyung’s arm and pointed out a little coffee shop. Going in, Kyung noted that the place was small but stylish. It was decorated in a minimalist sort of way that made it feel refreshing.

Kyung shrugged as they waited in line. A small group of girls in school uniforms were debating what to get so they had time. “It was always a way for me to escape,” he admitted. “When I work on a song, I can forget about everything else.”

Minhyuk ordered, stepping around the girls to do so. Kyung shot them a sorry smile before doing the same. He didn’t feel too guilty since they were still debating their order. “You’re still working on songs?”

Kyung nodded. “I’ve been doing more lyric writing than full on producing tracks. Ballads and softer songs mostly.” He really wanted to get Taeil to sing some of them. The guy had an amazing voice for the sorts of songs Kyung kept writing.

“Will you ever let me hear them?” Minhyuk asked. He snagged both their drinks and them them over to an empty table.

“I want to get one of the hyungs in the house to record for me,” Kyung answered. “We’ve got one guy who has this really amazing voice.”

“I want to hear your voice thought. Not some stranger’s.” Now Minhyuk was the one pouting. It was a ridiculously good look on him. If they weren’t in public, Kyung would have pulled the guy in for a kiss. But they had people all around them so he didn’t.

“My voice isn’t good,” Kyung replied. “I sound okay when I rap but singing…” he shook his head. “Singing is not my thing.”

“I think that’s not true.” Minhyuk smiled. His dimple appeared and Kyung fought the urge to lick it. “You’ll have to let me decide that.”

“You’re biased,” Kyung shot back. “You would probably say my shits smell good too.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Kyung wanted to die. What in the world had made his brain think that was an appropriate thing to say?

Minhyuk laughed. “No, I’m not **that** biased.”

It was a bit of a relief that there were some boundaries Minhyuk wouldn’t cross. Up until the whole creepy guys in his apartment thing, Minhyuk had seemed a little too perfect to be true. Kyung had been kind of afraid that the guy had some crazy kinks.

“Are you really saying that you won’t sing for me because I’ll tell you exactly how good you are?”

Yes.

Minhyuk didn’t wait for Kyung to respond. He just sighed and shook his head in exasperation. “Not fair, Park Kyung. That is not fair.”

The way he phrased that, the way it sounded, was great. Kyung laughed. He couldn’t stop. Even when the employees and that group of girls looked his way, Kyung kept laughing.

Moments like this almost made his life feel normal.

\---

They sat there, not speaking. It was awkward but that’s just how things between them were now. Jihoon hated it but he didn’t know how to fix this. Any time they tried to talk about the elephant in the room, it just seemed to make the situation worse.

There were times when he just wanted to give up.

It felt fitting to be back here. They’d come to the aquarium again and ended up in front of the sharks. No feedings were taking place so most people weren’t lingering at the seating area that Jihoon and Taeil were sitting in.

“Did we rush into this too fast?” Jihoon asked. HIs voice was sad even to his own ears. The question had been on his mind a lot lately. It just kept playing over and over and over and over until he felt ready to scream.

Taeil snorted. “Probably.” He didn’t offer anything else. That wasn’t a surprise. Taeil wasn’t the most talkative and open about his feelings. Not that that was one of Jihoon’s strengths either.

Sighing, Taeil continued on. “There’s been a lot and it all got messy and complicated fast.” Definitely true. “If we’d started slower and if it hadn’t gotten so intense so fast, this might have gone better.”

Jihoon could agree with that. The things Taeil brought up were not wrong. They’d started off in an uncomplicated relationship. It had been sex and only sex. And even when feelings started to get involved, they’d been fine at first. But then living together and going through all that stuff with Jaehyo had just been too much.

“We’re breaking up, aren’t we?” It wasn’t a surprise. Jihoon had been suspecting this might happen. He had basically already come to this conclusion. The only real question had been when it might happen.

“I think so.” Taeil didn’t sound happy about it which both helped and made it harder to hear. They sat there quietly for what felt like the longest time. Finally, Taeil spoke up again. “Do you want me to move out of the house?”

It hurt to hear. That was not a question Jihoon had wanted to hear. He wanted to immediately yell no, that Taeil needed to stay. It was quickly followed by the thought that it would definitely be easier if Taeil left. There would be no temptation, no accidental meetings. No awkward conversations, no lingering glances and a longing to connect again.

It also felt like the coward’s way. The house had become Taeil’s home. He was connecting with the other guys. And Taeil was a good fit. He made the place feel balanced somehow. It wasn’t entirely logical but then again, they lived with a vampire so logic wasn’t always part of their lives. Telling Taeil to leave also felt like he was telling Taeil to get out of his life. That was definitely not what Jihoon wanted.

Jihoon picked to be selfish. “No, you should stay if you don’t want to leave.” He wasn’t ready to let go of Taeil yet. Even if they weren’t a couple, he still wanted to see Taeil. To hear him and watch him everyday.

Taeil nodded but didn’t speak.

They sat there for a while longer. It was a peaceful place. And as long as they sat there, it felt like they were under some sort of magic spell. That nothing was real and they might still be together.

Jihoon sighed and stood up. “I’m going to head out now,” he said. Before Taeil had a chance to say anything, Jihoon added, “I need to clear my head.”

Taeil didn’t follow and Jihoon couldn’t tell if he was disappointed or relieved. He wanted to see Taeil fight. To see that the guy wasn’t going to just give up.

It was a relief to not have this drag out. That it was clearly over and they weren't attempting to delude themselves. They weren’t trying to hold onto something clearly that wasn’t working.

Jihoon wandered the mall for a bit, eventually ending up on the street. People and cars went every which way, everyone around him just living their lives. Jihoon wondered if any of them felt like him. Were any of them feeling so conflicted, going through so much turmoil inside. He felt alone right now even though there were people all around him.

The streets of Gangnam were cold. No surprise there. This area was full of corporations, of businesses, that could be found here and in other places. Nothing special here to make it feel unique. That feeling made Jihoon miss the house even more. He’d never realized how warm and personable their neighborhood was. But he didn’t want to go back just yet.

He kept walking, wondering if something would stick out as a sign. Jihoon felt like he needed something right now. He knew it was just all the bad getting to him. That didn’t change anything thought. Jihoon just felt like he was supposed to stumble into something amazing. At the very least, life changing.

What he didn’t expect was Kyung almost walking into him.

Kyung was with a guy Jihoon didn’t recognize. He was taller than Kyung and handsome yet something about him made the guy almost seem to blend into the crowd of people all around them. From the way they were standing, Jihoon had a decent guess who the guy was.

“Jihoon?” Kyung sounded confused. “What are you doing over here?”

That was a hard thing to say. To explain. “Just wanted to get away from the house today.”

The guy with Kyung, no doubt his boyfriend from just how close they were standing, perked up with curiosity. “Are you one of his housemates?”

Jihoon nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been living in it for a while now.” Grinning, he added, “longer than Kyung-hyung here.”

“I bet it’d be fine if you took me over to see it,” the boyfriend said, turning to Kyung. From the sounds of things, this was an argument that had been ongoing between the two of them. Definitely something that Jihoon didn’t want to get involved in. He had enough relationship drama to last him a lifetime.

“I’ll have to see what Zico says.” Kyung was shooting a _look_ Jihoon’s way. It was clearly asking for help and support.

All Jihoon wanted to do was to not get involved. But the way Kyung was looking at him, it was asked, and Jihoon had to listen.

“Zico is pretty strict about guests,” Jihoon said. It was only a partial lie at least.

Kyung nodded. “He’s always afraid of someone who is a little too much of a fan finding him.”

Not true. Not one bit. It was all because of the whole vampire thing. Whatever. If Kyung wanted to lie and keep his boyfriend out of that part of his life then so be it. Jihoon had never been in that position so he couldn’t judge. He was suddenly glad that he’d never to had to lie with Taeil. Constantly having to keep a major part of his life hidden sounded stressful.

A life like that didn’t sound like a life. It certainly wasn’t one Jihoon wanted for himself. The realization was an interesting and unexpected one.

It made him miss that part of the relationship with Taeil. They’d had issues. Jihoon wasn’t stupid. But at least they hadn’t constantly been hiding part of their lives from each other.

\---

It hurt to see him like this. Every time Yukwon saw Zico, he saw pain. The situation with Jaehyo was clearly weighing heavily on the vampire. And it wasn’t just taking an emotional toll on Zico. No, the vampire was full of bites. He was always pale, even paler than normal. Hunger clung to him constantly thought it wasn’t as bad as it’d been a year ago.

Yukwon didn’t know what to do. What he could do. He just hated watching Zico be this way.

“Come on Ppo,” Yukwon said, lightly tugging on her leash so she would follow him.

Call him optimistic but Yukwon felt like he might have some luck this evening. He’d been coming to this park now for just over two weeks. He kept hoping he would run into Sunhye and her pack. So far he hadn’t had any luck but Yukwon had hope.

It was probably foolish of him to be like this. He just felt like there was a reason they’d met that day.

The logical part of him said he was just looking for some sort of distraction. That was probably true. He wasn’t willing to let that get him down.

Luck, or maybe fate, was looking up on him favorably today. Almost immediately, he spotted Sunhye and her dogs. She’d cut her hair but he still recognized her despite that change. Hoping life was still shining favorably upon him, Yukwon walked over.

Her dogs spotted him and Ppo first. They barked with excitement, tails wagging happily. Ppo was more wary. Then again, she was one to their four and they were clearly bigger and older. Also, she hadn’t been around very many dogs since she’d come to live with Yukwon.

“She’s a cutie,” Sunhye said when she spotted Ppo. “Looks like she’s still a puppy too. I didn’t realize that before.”

Yukwon nodded. “Yeah she’s about six months old now.” He paused for a moment and then added, “she was a present from my brother.”

“That was sweet of him.” She smiled and Yukwon’s knees went weak. “Any reason why?”

How did he answer that? Yukwon knew it was complicated and confusing. So he went with simple. “My brother knew he was sick and that he’d only be getting worse. When I had my birthday back in April, he got her for me.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your brother.” Sunhye paused. “Is everything okay now?”

Again, how did he answer that? Yukwon shrugged. “Hard to say,” he admitted. “He got really bad for awhile but he’s been in recovery the last month or so.”

“That’s good to hear. I hope he keeps getting better.”

“Me too.” Yukwon winced at the heaviness in his words. He felt it so he knew she had to hear it too. So he gave a little awkward laugh. “Nothing that you, me, or anyone else can do right now.”

They walked for a little while. “So what about you?” He asked. “What do you do that let’s you have four dogs?”

She was probably a dog groomer or worked in a vet’s office. Something with animals. It just fit so perfectly. He could imagine her somewhere surrounded by animals. All day, everyday.

Sunhye chuckled nervously. “It’s kind of embarrassing,” she said.

“It can’t be that embarrassing,” Yukwon told her. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t even have a job.”

“Are you a student?” The question was logical. It was also something that just didn’t have the answer that most people expected to hear.

Yukwon shook his head. “No. I live with some people and I take care of the house for them.”

“Oh! A live-in servant! I didn’t know people still had those.”

Well she wasn’t quite right but it also wasn’t entirely wrong. And he’d never have to explain it any further. He was fine with letting her believe this lie. It wasn’t one that would ever hurt her.

“Basically,” Yukwon replied. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed how you still haven’t answered my question.”

She laughed. It was a twinkly, sparkly sound that was full of pure joy. Would it be creepy if he recorded it? He felt like he could listen to that pretty laugh over and over. He quickly decided that yes, yes it would be creepy so he wouldn’t record it.

“I was hoping you might forget about that,” she admitted. “I’m a model.”

Holy fuck. Yukwon stopped. He couldn’t help but stare at her. His first thought when he’d met her was that she was pretty enough to be one. He just never thought that it’d actually be true.

“Really?” He asked. He believed her but damn, he never thought he’d meet a model.

She nodded but a shy sort of smile had taken over her face. “I’ve been working on something else though lately.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. A line of stuff for people and pets.”

Adorable. That sounded so perfect for you. “What kind of stuff?”

“Mostly clothes. Dog collars. Some other stuff. I was looking into making phone cases. Oh! And I had an idea about doing choker necklaces!” She was smiling brightly and speaking with pure excitement in her voice. It was contagious. Seeing her grin made Yukwon grin. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to.

She kept talking, explaining how she’d come up with the idea. What her plans for the line were. The friends she’d gotten involved. Her enthusiasm and obvious passion gave her enough to talk about for nearly an entire lap of the park.

As they approached the spot where they met, Sunhye gave an embarrassed squeak. “I’ve been talking too much, haven’t I?” She sounded bashful, like she was afraid he’d agree and tell her to talk about something else. “You should have told me to stop.”

“Why would I do that?” He asked. Listening to her speak was something Yukwon felt like he could do all day. Besides, he liked hearing her talk. She had a pretty voice. It was soothing and relaxing but also gave him all kinds of energy. He couldn’t get enough of hearing her talk. The love and passion she had for this project was clear too.

He envied her. She had something that gave her life meaning. That filled her with passion and a will to go on. She had a dream. He had none of those things. He just had Ppo. It wasn’t the same, not one bit.


	39. It’s never something that you can just move on from

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me.

When the sun fell, he woke up. It wasn’t something Jiho had a choice in. It had been that way ever since he’d been turned into one of these creatures. This evening was different though. Jiho wasn’t alone in his bed.

Jaehyo was curled up next to him. His back was to Jiho and they weren’t physically touching but he was there. It was a big step for the human. The amount of trust in that move was huge.

Jiho couldn’t help but stare. Jaehyo’s shoulders were broad and strong. Yet his demeanor and way of carrying himself hid that strength. It took everything in the vampire not to reach out and touch the human, to stroke Jaehyo’s soft hair, to hold the human in his arms. He held back. He just received this sign of trust. He wouldn’t do anything to ruin it.

It was hard to pinpoint just when he fell for Jaehyo. He’d been drawn to Jaehyo from the beginning. The man was physically handsome, like he’d been favored by a god. He was good, a kind man who often seemed to be too good to be true. But the man was human. He had his faults, his insecurities. Putting it all together, Jiho couldn’t help but fall for him.

He’d told Jaehyo a long time ago how he felt towards the man. It hadn’t been to pressure Jaehyo. Just the opposite in fact. He’d told Jaehyo and then returned to how life had been. No pushing, no trying to force Jaehyo into anything. All the power was put in Jaehyo’s hands. They’d been getting closer lately which was nice.

Sleeping in the same bed was a new step.

Jaehyo shifted, rolling over.

There weren’t many times where Jiho found himself speechless. This was one of those moments. Jaehyo was at peace in his sleep. That was the only way Jiho could interpret the smile on the man’s face.

Jaehyo shifted again, making soft noises as he did so. It was clear he was waking up. Not wanting to get caught watching Jaehyo, the vampire closed his eyes. Pretending to be asleep was rather easy when you were a corpse.

The shifting from Jaehyo got louder and more frequent. It killed Jiho to lay here like this. And then he felt a hand on him. From the pressure, Jiho took a guess that Jaehyo had probably moved into a sitting position. Jaehyo sighed heavily.

“Looks like I’m up first. Again,” the human said. There was disappointment in his voice. Interesting. How long had this been going on? It certainly didn’t sound like this was a new thing.

“Thank you,” Jaehyo said. His voice was barely more than a whisper. “For not pushing me and letting me come to you when I want to.”

Oh geez. It was impossibly hard to pretend to sleep right now. Jiho wanted to grin, to show just how happy those few, simple words made him. He kept still though, curious to see what would happen next.

He was glad he didn’t do anything. Not when he felt soft lips press gently against his cheek. If Jiho were human, he wouldn’t be able to control the racing heart he would no doubt have. A perk of being dead. His body wouldn’t betray him unless he let it. The adrenaline coursing through him made Jiho want to do something stupid like kiss the man back.

That brought upon an interesting question though. What would Jaehyo do if Jiho were to kiss him? Would Jaehyo freak out? Or would he respond positively? It made Jiho want to try, to test it out.

“One day, I’ll tell you all of this,” Jaehyo murmured. “Soon. I just need a little more time.”

Time was the one thing Jiho had the most of. And he’d waited this long already. Waiting a little longer would be no big deal.

Fingers rested lightly on his lips. “Soon,” Jaehyo promised. And then he was gone.

It felt like forever before Jiho felt confident enough to get out of his bed. His head was spinning with all he’d learned already and the night had barely begun. He couldn’t do anything about the knowledge. But it made him excited to see what the future held.

“Did you sleep well?” Jiho asked when he went into the other room. Jaehyo was busy tending the fire, trying to get something going so he could make something to eat.

A shy look was on the human’s face. He turned quickly, leaving Jiho to look at Jaehyo’s back. Granted, it was a nice back so Jiho didn’t mind. “It was fine,” Jaehyo answered. “No nightmares.”

“That’s good.” And it was. Jaehyo had some rather nasty nightmares. “They’ve been happening less and less recently.” Was it because of him? Was Jaehyo sleeping next to him and was that keeping his nightmares away? The thought that Jiho was the one to bring Jaehyo peace was enough to make the vampire smile.

Jaehyo gave a little head nod. “They have.” A lingering silence hung in the air, like there was something else Jaehyo wanted to say but didn’t.

The next evening, Jaehyo was already awake when Jiho woke. It was a disappointment but not a surprise. That didn’t stop him from trying to wake earlier, to catch Jaehyo still sleeping by his side.

Three weeks. It took a full three weeks but eventually Jiho’s hard work paid off. (It wasn’t hard work. It was luck, pure luck.) Jiho woke up first. And Jaehyo was sleeping next to him. This time, Jaehyo was facing him. And one of his hands was resting on Jiho’s chest. That fact took a few moments to sink in but once it did, Jiho had a hard time keeping himself under control.

It did appear that his earlier thought that Jaehyo was sneaking into his bed was right. Jiho loved it. Loved that Jaehyo trusted him.

Jaehyo woke before Jiho had a chance to feign sleep. The man stared at Jiho. He was frozen in his spot but Jiho heard the human’s racing heart. Jiho stared back. He wanted to say something but weirdly enough, Jiho felt like his words were trapped inside him. So he did something that didn’t require words.

Taking a hand, Jiho laid it on top of Jaehyo’s hand. He could hear Jaehyo’s breathing get faster. It was clear the human was panicking but trying to hide it. So Jiho just laid there. He wasn’t going to push Jaehyo. He could be patient. Time was the one thing a vampire had plenty of.

“How long have you been awake?” Jaehyo asked, his voice not much more than a whisper.

“Not long,” Jiho answered truthfully.

A little wave of relief washed over Jaehyo until he froze in fear again. “You know…” It didn’t sound like he was talking to Jiho so the vampire didn’t respond. This was something Jaehyo needed to go through by himself. Jaehyo didn’t say anything for a long time.

When Jaehyo had calmed down some, Jiho finally decided to ask the question that had been on his mind since the first time he’d woken up with Jaehyo by his side. “How long have you been sleeping here?”

Jaehyo started to panic again. Jiho felt awful. He hadn’t meant to send Jaehyo into this state. He was about to pull again, to give Jaehyo some space when the human took a deep breath. He seemed to have calmed himself down.

“A few months.” His voice was soft, so quiet that JIho almost didn’t hear.

That was why it took several moments for Jiho to realize just what the human said. The news threw him. Jiho had suspected it’d been going on for awhile but he hadn’t thought it’d been going on for that long.

They kept lying there, staring at each other. Time seemed to stop existing.

“Is this why you haven’t been having nightmares lately?” Jiho heard himself ask.

Jaehyo nodded. “It’s helped a lot.”

That made Jiho want to beam with pride. He couldn’t help the happiness that news gave him. Jaehyo’s nightmares could be terrifying. There were times when Jiho worried about the human, about how unhealthy it was that the man would go days at a time with little to no sleep. Whenever those times hit, Jaehyo would stop eating. He’d get pale and thin, almost like a waif who’d blow away in the breeze.

“You should keep sleeping here,” Jiho said. If sleeping next to him brought Jaehyo peace then that was something the human needed to do. “We can move your bed over here so there’s more room.”

Hesitation filled Jaehyo for a few moments before the human nodded. “Okay.” He seemed to relax. The man pulled his hand out from under Jiho’s. Jaehyo didn’t bring it back to himself. He set it on Jiho’s cheek instead. “Thank you.”

“I want what is best for you.” Jiho was just glad Jaehyo wasn’t freaking out and panicking now. “I like when you sleep. When you don’t sleep, you make me worry.” He didn’t want to make Jaehyo feel guilty. He just wanted Jaehyo to understand.

“I’ve been sleeping.” Jaehyo sounded annoyed but not enough to pull his hand away.

“I know.” Jiho smiled. He couldn’t help it. “You’ve been looking really healthy lately.” And it was true. Jaehyo had been looking rather good. He’d gotten a healthy glow around him and while Jaehyo was still thn, he wasn’t quite so thin and frail-looking.

A small smile that mirrored Jiho’s own flitted across Jaehyo’s face. He shifted a little, coming closer to Jiho. The distance between them practically didn’t exist. Jiho could feel the heat of Jaehyo’s breath on his own face now.

Jaehyo was slo close. It was amazing how big the man’s eyes were. They were so brown and warm. They called to Jiho, beckoning him close. Jiho felt like he could drown in them, their warmth. The kindness in them. There was something else in them too that Jiho couldn’t read. Jiho, feeling hopeful and overall encouraged but all this so far, reach over and rested his hand on Jaehyo’s hip.

Immediately Jaehyo’s heart started to pound in the human’s chest. It was so deafening that Jiho thought it could wake him even if the sun were up. However Jaehyo didn’t protest, didn’t pull away. The human licked his lips. It was hard to figure out if that was intentional or not.

Jaehyo moved quickly, kissing Jiho on the lips. It was a quick, soft kiss. So light that Jiho might have thought he’d imagined it. Only the red covering Jaehyo’s face betrayed what had just happened. There was clear embarrassment and disbelief on Jaehyo’s face. It was as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just done.

Afraid that Jaehyo might bolt, Jiho did the first thing that came to mind. He closed the gap between them, kissing Jaehyo back. It was a risk and Jiho knew it but as the same time, he had hope. After all, Jaehyo had kissed him already.

This kiss was longer. It was still soft and chaste but a sense of reluctance to end it hung about. That feeling lingered in the air. Jaehyo pulled away first, breathing heavily despite the kiss not being intense.

No words were needed as they reached for each other. Lips met, pressing against each other with a ferocity that surprised Jiho. All the feelings they’d been holding in were coming out in a rush.

Jiho felt hands in his hair, holding his head so he couldn’t get away. He didn’t want to get away. Not when everything he wanted was right here. He could live in this moment forever.

They broke apart again but it didn’t last. The night passed in a blur of soft, tentative touches and needy kisses that said the things they couldn’t say.

\---

Taeil noticed Jihoon was gone. Again. Ever since their conversation a few weeks ago at the aquarium, Jihoon had been spending most of his time out. Usually off with friends. It made the house feel emptier, especially since he was off with Mino and his friend most of the time.

Hell, everyone was spending a lot of their time gone now. Jihoon and those two off with their friends. Kyung with his boyfriend. Yukwon...who knew with that guy. Only Zico, and Jaehyo but they never saw him, stayed home.

“Hey thanks,” Zico said as Taeil walked into the vampire’s studio. “You don’t have to do this but I appreciate it.”

Taeil shrugged. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do. Which was exactly what he told the guy. “I didn’t have anything better to do tonight.” Sitting in the second chair, Taeil asked, “I’m getting my usual fee, right?”

Zico nodded. “Check your bank account.”

Shit, seriously? Taeil never got paid before a job. He almost whipped out his phone to look but that’d be too much effort. “You never pay first,” he said, unable to hide his suspicion.

Zico shrugged. “I know where you live.”

Taeil snorted. “That doesn’t sound creepy at all.” He spun a little, going back and forth. “What’s the song?”

“It’s a new one,” Zico replied. “A ballad.”

Well no shit. Taeil did demo tracks for singing. He wasn’t a rapper. “Got the lyrics?”

Zico handed over a tablet. “It’s supposed to sound like this,” he said before singing a few bars.

Taeil kept singing, picking up from where Zico had left off. Zico nodded as Taeil kept going. “That’s pretty much it,” he said afterwards. “The chorus needs to be slower though. More like this.”

They went back and forth for a bit, working out the kinks. After a bit, Taeil went into the recording booth. Working with Zico could be frustrating. The guy was great. He had a great ear for what sounded right for a song. But damn if he wasn’t a perfectionist. It didn’t matter that this was just a guide, that the only ones who would hear it were Zico and the artist. The song still had to be perfect.

Taeil was glad when he was finally called out of the booth. He took a seat on the chair again. Zico was still listening to the song, doing something that Taeil didn’t know. He’d never done anything on this side of things. Taeil was a singer. He had not interest in trying to understand the mixing board in front of him.

“You get things worked out with Jihoon?” Zico asked. His attention was on the computer screen, or at least that’s how it appeared. Apparently not.

The Jihoon topic. Just what Taeil didn’t want to talk about. Still, Zico knew the topic, knew how things had been. Taeil shrugged. “Yes and now,” he admitted. “We ended it a couple of weeks ago.”

Taeil wasn’t a huge fan of that. There wasn’t much he could do about it though. “We tried but we just couldn’t get it together. So we ended it instead of dragging things out and making ourselves miserable.”

Zico turned and faced him. “That sucks.”

“Tell me about it.” Normally Taeil wouldn’t be so open, so honest, about his feelings. However Zico knew the situation. Zico never appeared to judge. He just listened. He gave advice when he could. And somewhere along the way, Taeil had begun to really trust the vampire.

Leaning back in his chair, Taeil continued on. “It just sucks, you know?” He shook his head. “Apparently I’m not meant for this whole relationship thing. I never wanted anything other than super casual. The ones where we’d meet to fuck and that was it has always been perfect for me.”

“So what made Jihoon different?”

It was a fair question. It was also one that Taeil didn’t have an answer to. “I don’t know,” Taeil admitted. “I mean, we started out like all my others. It was all about sex at first. And then feelings got involved somehow.”

Talking to Zico was nice. It was good to physically say all of this. “I like him but we just aren’t good for each other.” The truth of that hit Taeil hard. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, deny it.

Zico nodded. “I can see that. You two are very different people.” He took his headphones off, setting them on the desk. “I was a little surprised to find out about you two. Jihoon’s dated before. Nothing serious but they’ve always been girls. You’re the first guy I saw him with.”

In a weird sort of way, that explained a lot about Jihoon. One of the things that had been frustrating about Jihoon was how he always wanted to be led. He never seemed confident in himself. And while that was kind of endearing, it was something that had gotten old fast.

“It’s over now though,” Taeil said. He wanted to move on. The more they dwelled on this, the shittier Taeil felt. So he decided to change the subject. “How’s Jaehyo?”

Zico gave his own shrug. “It’s been about two months since he came back and I just...I don’t know.”

There was a rawness to the vampire’s voice that hurt to hear. The pain that Zico was feeling was clear. “I keep hoping he’ll be the old Jaehyo again but…”

“What happens if he doesn’t come back?” Taeil didn’t mean any disrespect but he was curious to know what would happen in that scenario.

Zico looked at his hands. “Before he died,” Zico spoke slowly, his voice soft and grave at the same time. “We never talked about that possibility. I know it was stupid but…”

Zico sounded like he was having a hard time speaking. Taeil couldn’t exactly blame the guy for that. “I won’t let him stay like this forever.” There was a sadness in his voice but it was laced with steel.

“How long?” Before you do something?” Taeil didn’t like talking about this anymore than he liked discussing the stuff about Jihoon. He just felt like Zico needed this though. That as much as Taeil needed to talk about how things with Jihoon ended, Zico needed to go over the stuff about Jaehyo.

Zico shook his head. “I don’t know. Not forever though.”

“By the end of the year?” Taeil asked. He got the feeling that he had to keep going, to make Zico give him a definitive answer.

“That’s too soon.” there was an edge of panic in Zico’s voice.

Taeil kept going. “A year from his death? When he returned?”

Zico shook head head. “No.”

“Next year? Five years? A decade?” Taeil threw the numbers out fast, not wanting to spend all night here doing this.

Zico held up a hand. Taeil stopped and waited. It felt like he was waiting forever. “I won’t spend years watching him be this way. I can’t do that again.”

The ‘again’ part was interesting but Taeil didn’t get a chance to ask.

“The end of next year.”

There was a sad sort of finality to that. The expression on Zico’s face was determined as he repeated his time frame again.

“Don’t tell the others.” Zico shifted, clearly uncomfortable. “They…”

“They don’t need to know,” Taeil finished. He understood. There was no way Yukwon and Jihoon would take it well. Mino and Kyung probably wouldn’t take it well either. They’d been rather friendly with Jaehyo before his death. Knowing there was a timeline wouldn’t help any of them. It would just stress them out, especially if Jaehyo still wasn’t himself as time marched closer and closer to the end of next year.

\---

Jiho collapsed onto his bed. This night had been draining. He just wanted his life to return to normal. Every night normal seemed to be slipping further and further away. He wished there was some way to magically make things the way he wanted them to be.

A glance over at where Jaehyo was pulling at the chain that bound him only made the pain in Jiho’s heart worse.

“I hate this,” he said to himself. To Jaehyo. To everyone and no one all at the same time. And he did. This was torture Jiho felt like he was stuck in his own personal hell.

He wanted it to end. He didn’t want to lost Jaehyo. Watching him be like this...Jiho had thought watching Jiseok had been the worst thing ever. He’d been wrong. This was far worse.

Jiho bit back a frustrated scream. He might have actually done it if he knew how Jaehyo would react. But no, he couldn’t even be himself here in his own set of rooms. He knew the stress of it all was getting to him. He could feel himself being pulled too tight. He was going to snap.

That simple fact terrified him. Jiho didn’t want to snap. He wanted to be the strong one, the one who held everything together. Each evening he woke up and saw that Jaehyo was still not himself. It made Jiho feel more and more like a failure. And the string that held Jiho together was pulled even tighter.

“Ji~”

He sat up. “What the hell?” There was no one down here except himself and Jaehyo. Had Jaehyo returned? Or was he hearing things?

“Ji~”

He looked over, unable to hide his hope.

In an instant, Jiho was crushed. It was clear that Jaehyo wasn’t back yet. His eyes were still wild. The grin on his face was not human. It sent shivers down Jiho’s spine.

Talking was a new development. Jiho had never heard of a new vampire speaking. Not while in this state anyways.

He didn’t have the energy to deal with this. Jiho felt awful for the thing he did next. But he just couldn’t with Jaehyo right now.

“Everything okay?” Yukwon asked as Jiho curled up in the human’s bed. Yukwon was stretched out on the floor, reading what appeared to be One Piece.

Jiho couldn’t answer that.

There was shifting and then Yukwon was crawling into bed with him. “Is he okay?”

Hard question to answer. Jiho turned so that he facing Yukwon. “He’s still not himself.” It was hard not to cry. This wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t want to appear so weak.

Concern was written all over Yukwon’s face. That only made Jiho feel worse. He just...he felt like a complete failure now. He was supposed to be strong and hold everything together but he just wasn’t and he couldn’t get it together either.

“Tell me about your brother.”

The request threw Jiho. He hadn’t expected it but at the same time, he felt gratitude towards Yukwon. Changing the topic was definitely a good thing even if this particular topic wasn’t one of Jiho’s favorite.

“Hyung’s name was Jiseok,” Jiho started. It felt important to say his name, to not let him be forgotten. “We were close in age but he was older.”

Yukwon settled in, getting more comfortable.

“He was the strong one. He could do anything. People liked him but for some reason they always seemed to be drawn to me more.” The words hurt to say. They were true though. Jiho had tried and failed to figure out why that had been the case. His brother had been amazing. Jiseok had been his world when they’d been kids. But no one, other than their mother, seemed to fully realize just how great Jiseok had been.

“He was the one who met the Master first.”

“The Master?”

“The one who turned me into this.” Jiho sighed and went on. “The Master was a foreigner. I never understood the name of his homeland. He’d only mention it in his native tongue and I could never get my head around how the sounds worked. I know now that he was European. No idea why he came here though.”

Details like those weren’t important. Not anymore. Not when he hadn’t seen the man since before Jaehyo had entered his life. “Hyung met him one night and the Master...he probably saw how Hyung wanted to be seen as someone special.” Each word hurt to say but this was a subject that Jiho had had a very long time to think about.

“The Master was looking for more servants, more humans to join his household. He took all three of us in.”

Yukwon had a curious look on his face. “Three?” He repeated.

“Hyung, me, and our mother.” Their faces flitted through his memories as he said their names. “It was always the three of us.”

“My family was kind of like that too.” Yukwon’s voice was soft and sad, mirroring Jiho’s own mood. “My mother, my brother, me, and my father.”

This was new. Yukwon had never shared much about his life, his family, before he came. “We weren’t my father’s only family. It crushed my mother when he left. So it was Hyung, my brother not Jaehyo-hyung, who took care of me.”

Jiho wanted to ask more. The sadness that clung to Yukwon stopped him. Having a past that hurt to think about, to talk about, was certainly something Jiho understood all too well.

“You should sleep here today,” Yukwon added. “Get away from Jaehyo-hyung for a bit.”

Jiho nodded. That’s why he came here. He was a selfish creature. He knew that.

“You’ve been spending more time out lately.” Jiho could smell the fresh air that was becoming a permanent part of Yukwon’s scent.

Yukwon blushed. He had a small smile. The shyness he was suddenly exhibiting was adorable. Something was definitely going on in Yukwon’s life. Something good. The part of Jiho that had watched Yukwon grow up, that had had a role in raising him, was excited for the human.

“What is it?” Jiho asked, poking Yukwon in the side. “Tell me.”

“I met someone.” Yukwon sounded embarrassed. He started talking, explaining. Listening to him practically gush was great. It didn’t matter that Jiho had no idea who this girl was. All that mattered was that Yukwon was finally back. The bright and light-hearted Yukwon was back, blessing them all with his beautiful, angelic smile.


	40. i'll end this now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens...and I have no apologies for any of this.

Kyung woke up in the apartment alone. It took hims a moment to remember that Minhyuk had an early shift at the cafe he was working at nowadays. Being alone in Minhyuk’s apartment was weird. He hadn’t been alone here since that one time. The time he’d overheard those men.

Truth be told, Kyung wasn’t convinced that the whole thing hadn’t been some sort of crazy, realistic dream. Minhyuk had been completely normal both before and after that. So had this apartment. There just seemed to be no reason for Kyung to doubt it all. And Kyung had been looking.

Wandering into the kitchen, he started a cup of coffee before heading back into Minhyuk’s bedroom to get dressed. The room wasn’t huge but it was large enough to hold a dresser. And Kyung had a drawer of that dresser. It was a weird thing to think about. He essentially had things in three different places now. His parents’ house, the vampire house, and now Minhyuk’s place too.

Quickly getting dressed, Kyung headed back to the kitchen. By the time he got there, it was done brewing which was a great thing because a caffeine headache was already starting to hit him. He took the cup over the couch and drank, scrolling through a group chat with some classmates, trying to catch up. They were a talkative bunch but they’d been working on some of the homework too which meant that the chat was informative both academically and socially. It was a great two-for-one deal.

The door to the cousin’s room opened. A guy who looked to be about Kyung’s own age stood there, frozen in shock once he spotted Kyung. Kyung stared back.

The guy had dark hair and was almost vampiric pale. Huge dark circles surrounded his eyes, giving him a panda-ish look. He was thin and looked like he desperately needed a meal. Kyung had never seen him before but there was something about him that seemed familiar somehow.

“You didn’t see me,” the guy said as he darted towards the front door. He barely looked down before sliding his feet into a pair of shoes over there. He all but ran out the door.

Kyung was left sitting there wondering just what in the world had happened. It wasn’t until he was going to leave a little bit later that he realized the guy had taken Kyung’s shoes. That wasn’t a huge deal since Kyung had a second pair sitting at the door but the annoyance he felt was real. He almost called Minhyuk to complain immediately. It was only that look of fear in the mysterious guy’s eyes that stopped Kyung.

That hadn’t been a dream. Kyung fully believed it now. He just...that fear on the man’s face had felt too real. And just who in the world was that guy? And why had he been kept in the other bedroom? How’d he get out? Kyung knew that door had been locked. He’d tried to open it in the past when he was looking for any sort of clue that what he’d heard was real.

The rest of the day went by uneventfully. Not like that mattered to Kyung. Those large, fearful eyes haunted him every time he blinked. Something shady was definitely going on. Kyung just didn’t know what.

It’d be a lie to say Kyung wasn’t worried. He’d definitely seen something he knew he wasn’t supposed to see. He still didn’t know if there were cameras hidden in Minhyuk’s apartment. The idea felt even more plausible now. (Kyung blushed at the thought that someone might have seen him and Minhyuk getting intimate.)

So how in the world did that explain what he saw?

Kyung’s suspicions that Minhyuk was involved in something bad were confirmed when the guy cancelled their movie date. Minhyuk sounded worried when he spoke to Kyung, like there was something wrong.

“You look stressed.” It was Jihoon who spoke, who broke Kyung out of his own thoughts. Hearing his voice was a surprise. Apparently Kyung had been more lost in thought than he’d assumed.

“Important test coming up.” Kyung didn’t even have to stop and think about the lie. That ease made him feel sick.

Lying was nothing new to Kyung. However before he’d met Zico, the lies in Kyung’s life had all been relatively harmless. He couldn’t say the same about them now.

Minhyuk had had a guy locked in his apartment for fuck’s sake. What the fuck? Who the fuck was Minhyuk? Was that guy? They were both mysteries. Kyung had no delusions anymore about Minhyuk. He had no fucking clue who the fuck Minhyuk was. Was his name even Lee Minhyuk? It was such a common fucking name. The name could easily be fake. It probably was. Kyung would be way more shocked at this point to learn that it wasn’t a fake.

Jihoon had apparently gotten bored because the next time Kyung emerged from his thoughts, he was alone again. A part of Kyung was relieved about that. He had far too much on his mind to be around anyone right now. Not when he’d gotten what was essentially confirmation that his boyfriend was involved in something that was both extremely messed up and no doubt illegal.

“I think your cousin took my spare shoes,” Kyung complained the next time he and Minhyuk were on a date.

“My cousin…” at first, Minhyuk sounded confused. Almost immediately though, a sense of understanding and a little relief hit Minhyuk. If Kyung hadn’t suspected that lie before, he certainly would have now.

Kyung nodded, trying to push away the guilt-ridden nausea that wouldn’t quite leave him. “Yeah, I saw him for a brief moment a few days ago,” he said. “He looked pale and hungry. Didn’t talk to him though. He was gone too fast.”

Yep, Minhyuk was definitely relieved. Interesting.

Kyung bit his lip. Over the last few days, he’d figured out a potential lie, a whole scenario that could get him more information but also make Kyung appear completely innocent and clueless about the shady shit Minhyuk was involved in.

“This is a shitty thing to ask,” Kyung started, “but is he on drugs?”

The relief that flooded Minhyuk would have been impossible to miss. The tension that had clung to the guy just melted away. It was a weird reaction to Kyung’s question...unless someone was trying to hide something.

“It’s just, he looked really pale and like he hadn’t eaten or slept in days. And he just seemed really strange, you know?” Kyung hoped he was being believable.

“Yeah, he’s got some issues,” Minhyuk answered. “I’m hoping he reappears soon. Everyone’s looking for him.”

There was something ominous about the way Minhyuk said that. Kyung fought back a shiver. Once again, he found himself wondering just who the fuck this guy was.

“What’s his name?”

Almost immediately, Kyung could tell that was the wrong thing to ask. Minhyuk tensed up. “Why are you asking about him?” He sounded jealous but he didn’t look the part which made it an interesting combination. It made it hard to believe Minhyuk.

A warning bell was going off in Kyung’s head. He felt like he had to be careful right now. “Just curious,” he replied. “You never really talk about the guy even though you live with him.”

Minhyuk was still tense. “We aren’t close. He’s made his choices and I’ve made mine.”

There was a tone of finality in his voice that shut down the topic. Kyung could tell that even if he were to keep asking, Minhyuk wouldn’t answer.

He didn’t have a chance to change the topic. Minhyuk did it for him. “You talk to your landlord about letting me come over?”

Shit. In all the, well, everything of the last few days, that had been something that had completely slipped Kyung’s mind. “I forgot,” Kyung admitted. “There’s been a lot on my mind lately.”

“I want to see where you live.” Minhyuk’s voice was playful and pleading as he acted every bit the curious boyfriend. “What your room looks like.

“How comfy my bed is?” Kyung asked, grinning cheekily.

“That would be a nice bonus,” Minhyuk agreed. “And if I remember correctly, your home is closer to campus than my apartment. No more early morning scrambling.”

Kyung laughed. “Nah, that still happens. I’m just the only one who tends to be running around.”

A frown spread across Minhyuk’s face. “I thought you said there were a bunch of others who lived there.”

Kyung nodded. “Yeah, there are. It’s just...they’re all the sort who stay up all night and sleep during the day. Most of them don’t even wake up until late afternoon or early evening.”

“Why?” Minhyuk seemed genuinely curious. It made Kyung feel special, that his boyfriend wanted to know more about his life. That Minhyuk wanted to be a bigger part of his life. It felt nice. It almost made Kyung forget about the shady shit going on in Minhyuk’s life.

“They just are,” Kyung replied. “A lot work in music, work with Zico, and he keeps late hours.” The guy was a vampire and could only keep night hours. Kyung didn’t bother mentioning that.

“The mysterious Zico,” Minhyuk said. Something about the way he said it was weird. Kyung couldn’t place why. “What’s he look like anyway?”

Kyung frowned. Something in how Minhyuk suddenly seemed interested in Zico didn’t sit well with Kyung. It was like a part of Minhyuk had come alive, was trying to figure out just who Zico was. Pushing to know more about the guy...the hypocrisy about Minhyuk doing this after he’d shut down Kyung’s earlier questions just didn’t feel right.

“He’s a normal guy. Looks like anyone else,” Kyung answered. It was a bit of a lie. Zico was handsome and striking. He stood out in all the right ways. Kyung just didn’t want his boyfriend to know that. It’d look bad if he started gushing about another guy to his boyfriend.

Minhyuk didn’t look as if he quite believed Kyung but he let it be. Good. The faster they moved away from this whole thing, the better.

\---

Jiho hated this. Hated how nothing ever seemed to work out right lately. All because Jaehyo had to be selfish. Jiho could understand to a degree. He wasn’t the heartless bastard Jaehyo had called him. He just didn’t want to lose Jaehyo. Maybe that made Jiho the selfish one.

This was day three of Jaehyo camping out in the main floor common room. Jiho wanted to force Jaehyo to return to their rooms. That was impossible. Jaehyo only listened when he wanted to.. A great guy but damn if he couldn’t be a stubborn bastard at times. He was the most stubborn person Jiho had ever met in his long life.

Yukwon saw him and the expression on his face darkened. That reaction, the negativity in it, hurt to see. Jiho missed his old Yukwon. He missed the sweet boy who asked Jiho to keep the monsters away. The kid who smiled with his whole being. It seemed like more and more, that Yukwon was gone. Instead he had this Yukwon who never seemed happy with Jiho anymore.

Life was lonely now. Yukwon wasn’t the only one who was acting this way lately. It felt like all of Jiho’s boys were turning away from him. Hell, who was he kidding? They weren’t Jiho’s boys. They’d never been his boys. They were Jaehyo’s. Always had been, always would be. It was just that until recently, Jiho hadn’t even noticed.

Jiho entered the main floor common room. Jaehyo didn’t even look at him. He just kept playing his guitar. The song he was playing sounded sad. That was another thing about this Jiho just couldn’t stand.

Jaehyo seemed to be caught in a perpetual loop of anger and sadness. The sadness clung to Jaehyo, wouldn’t leave him. Or it would go away but only so anger could take its place. Anger that was always directed at Jiho.

Jiho sat on the other couch, letting Jaehyo have his space. It hurt to be ignored. He didn’t even know why Jaehyo had gotten upset with him this time. _This time._ Because they were in what felt like an everlasting cycle of arguing and being upset with each other.

“Jae-”

“No.”

The way Jaehyo said that hurt. It said that Jaehyo didn’t want to listen to him, that he wouldn’t listen. With Jaehyo acting like this, it only made Jiho feel more isolated and alone. It felt like he was trying but Jaehyo wasn’t. That Jaehyo was just constantly shutting him down.

“Come back to your room.” That was all Jiho wanted. He hated Jaehyo being so far away during the day. He worried. Being far away, sleeping in a room with sunlight, it just felt like Jaehyo wasn’t safe. And while he didn’t like Jaehyo in a bed that wasn’t Jiho’s own, at least Jaehyo’s bed was closer. He was safer.

Jaehyo snorted but didn’t say anything. He just played his guitar even louder. Being ignored like this was the worst. It didn’t help that others came into the room. That Jaehyo would greet them, talk with them. Smile and act like himself. His old self. Clearly his issues were entirely with Jiho.

His heart heavy, Jiho went down to his own set of rooms. He tried to ignore how he had to pass through Jaehyo’s room to reach his own. There was still some time until the sun rose and sent Jiho to sleep. He didn’t care. He still curled up in bed. Part of him, a big part, hoped that Jaehyo would come.

They’d fought and argued before. Given how long they’d been together, that was an inevitable fact. Usually their arguments centered around their boys and turning Jaehyo.

It was frustrating how Jaehyo refused to understand just how dangerous becoming a vampire was. How he refused to see how much the topic upset Jiho. In all their time together, Jiho had tried to make them as equal as possible. He’d been on both sides of this situation. Jiho understood just how unequal and lopsided their relationship could be.

The thought of losing Jaehyo terrified him. They’d been together for so long now. Life had reached a point where Jiho honestly had a hard time remembering just what life before Jaehyo was like. What a life without Jaehyo was like. He didn’t know how to function in a world with the human. ANd so yes, maybe Jiho was being stubborn and selfish in his desire to keep Jaehyo human. But it was for Jaehyo’s own good.

Eventually Jiho fell asleep or whatever it was he did during the day. It was rather blissful to fall into that state where he didn’t have to think. Nothing could bug him or stress him.

When he woke, Jiho knew something was wrong. He didn’t know what but he could tell that the house was off somehow. He didn’t bother to get dressed. They were all guys and besides, this was an emergency. That’s how it felt anyways.

Walking through Jaehyo’s room, the feeling that something was wrong only got worse. It didn’t really hit Jiho until he reached the main floor common room. All the things Jaehyo had taken with him a few nights ago were no longer in the room. Logically Jiho knew the man could have moved into one of the boy’s rooms. Jiho also knew that was just a false hope.

The house felt off because Jaehyo had left them.

Jaehyo had left him.

The vampire went back to their (his) rooms. He had to see if this was temporary. There were certain things Jaehyo wouldn’t leave behind if this was temporary. Please let it just be a few days. Please let Jaehyo come to his senses soon. Jiho needed this to be a short absence.

A paper with Jiho’s name on it sat on Jaehyo’s bed. Dread filled the vampire as he slowly approached it. The paper, a letter in an envelope, smelled of Jaehyo. The man’s scent was so fresh. He’d left this when Jiho had been dead to the world and unable to stop him.

 

_My Jiho,_

_This is the coward’s way and I know it. I’m just so tired now, Jiho. All we do is fight. Even if we don’t fight, we’re still always headed towards another. Maybe you can keep living this way. I can’t._

_It’s hard to imagine a world without you. That’s what I’m going to have to do though. So will you. I think all our time together has been good for us but also bad. We’re too comfortable with each other. Too used to our routines. There’s only one thing left for us. The one thing you won’t give me. A future with you._

_Agree to change me, to let me stay with you forever, and I’ll come back. It’s as simple as that. We both know the truth though. You won’t do it. This isn’t something I want to do but it is something that I have to do. I’ve always tried not to be selfish but I have to be that way now._

_Goodbye Jiho. I love you but I won’t be back. If I return, I know I won’t have the strength to walk away again. So please, if you love me, don’t look for me._

_-J_

 

Jiho was shaking. Rage. Fear. Disbelief. All of them were coursing through him. By the time he’d reached the end, Jiho couldn’t see the note in his hands. All he saw was red. White. The color didn’t matter.

Everything around him screamed Jaehyo. It wasn’t fair. Jaehyo had just left. He wasn’t supposed to do that. He didn’t even have the decency to give a proper goodbye. All he’d done was write his sad little letter that gave Jiho no option to argue his side.

It was seeing himself in the mirror, sitting on Jaehyo’s bed and surrounded by Jaehyo’s things that did it.. The things that Jaehyo had discarded just like he’d discarded Jiho.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed. All he knew was that he was sitting on the floor. Destruction was all around him. Feathers, a dresser that’d been pulled apart, shredded clothes. All of it covered the room. And tears were streaming down his face.

Jiho’s throat was raw. Looking at his hands, he saw cuts and scrapes going up his arms.

And he was alone.


	41. but still i wait for tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter titles no longer just from Block B lyrics ^^ (I was starting to run out of songs and my writing playlist is varied anyways)  
> \---

Jihoon tried not to notice Taeil. The guy was eating some takeout bibimbap. He shouldn’t look so good eating it. Life was unfair.

Putting the food he’d bought away, Jihoon wondered what had gotten into his head. Why had he thought still living in the same house would be a good idea? It was torture. Taeil was so close and yet so far away all at the same time.

“I fucked up.” Jihoon could admit it to himself now that he was alone. He just couldn’t handle being in that house. Not with Taeil around. And Taeil was always around. Going in, Jihoon knew that. That Taeil would always be around.

Spying a nearby bench, Jihoon took a seat. The moon shone above him, reminding him of the night Jaehyo had died. He took a deep breath, it shuddering out of him when he released it. He felt so alone. All he wanted was to be left alone. He wanted Jaehyo to tell him everything would be okay. But that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. If ever. It was hard to keep up the hope when everyday resulted in more of the same.

A guy ran by. Jihoon shook his head. He’d never understand why some people found running fun. It’d always been Jihoon’s least favorite part of gym class. He stood to head back home when another guy ran by. The guy looked like Kyung’s boyfriend. Weird.

Jihoon started to walk home. He didn’t exactly want to go back but he didn’t have anywhere else to go. Part of him thought about going to his mother. But he couldn’t. Jihoon’s heart was far too heavy anytime he thought about her.

The house was louder and busier when he returned. Somehow that didn’t help. Seeing people everywhere, Jihoon slid outside to sit on the steps out back. Jaehyo’s grave was just outside his reach. The ground there barely even looked disturbed now.

The door behind him opened and Kyung came out. “Mind if I join you?” He asked. Jihoon shrugged. He didn’t really want company but it felt impolite to tell Kyung to go away.

“You okay?”

Jihoon really didn’t want to talk about anything. But he knew Kyung wouldn’t leave him alone. “No idea,” he answered truthfully. He didn’t want to delve into anything. “I thought I saw your boyfriend earlier.” Change the subject, change the subject. Get Kyung distracted.

Kyung gave a heavy sigh. “I’m trying not to think about him,” the guy admitted.

Considering how close the two had seemed and how good they’d looked together, Kyung’s response was surprising. “You two break up?”

Maybe it was his own break up with Taeil that had put the idea in his head. Or maybe it was just how Kyung seemed.

“No. We’re still together,” Kyung answered. “He’s got a lot going on right now.” The guy sighed again. “It’s hard to figure out what’s going on.”

That was something Jihoon could understand. “I was seeing Taeil-hyung for awhile,” he admitted. Just saying that made him feel so open and vulnerable. He hated it. Hated how the words had just slipped out and he hadn’t been able to stop them. “We ended things.”

Kyung didn’t seem surprised. “You guys have been pretty obvious,” he said which only confirmed the fact that he’d known. “When did you two end it?”

“That day I ran into you and your boyfriend.” That day felt so impossibly long ago. And if talking about this was supposed to help, well, it was failing. Miserably. Jihoon really had to fight to urge not to tell Kyung to go away.

“You two going to spend all night out here?” Yukwon asked from the doorway behind them.

Kyung stood. “Nah, I was getting ready to head in,” he said.

“I’m staying out a little longer,” Jihoon replied. He didn’t feel ready to face everyone yet. To see Taeil.

It was a relief to be alone again. Okay, it wasn’t. He hated to be alone. When others were around him, Jihoon could forget the aching loneliness inside him. Taeil had been the best at keeping that loneliness at bay.

He hid his face in his hands. This was why he drank. Why he went out so often. He hated to be alone. When he was alone, he got lost in his own thoughts too easily. It was too easy to get lost in negativity.

Taeil came out. Jihoon felt like he couldn’t catch a break.

“You okay?” Taeil asked, echoing Kyung’s earlier question.

This time, Jihoon found he didn’t mind the question quite as much. It didn’t hurt to tell Taeil the truth. “I don’t like being alone.”

They sat for awhile. It was peaceful despite the awkwardness that still hung in the air between them. This was why he liked Taeil. And why he asked the question on his mind. “Why is it that you make me feel at peace with myself?”

“Do I really have that kind of effect on you?” Taeil asked after a long pause. There was something in his voice that Jihoon couldn’t place.

Jihoon nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

“Is this why you always wanted to be so close?” There was a plain openness in Taeil’s voice, like he was just starting to understand something.

Jihoon shrugged. “Maybe.” There was something about Taeil that inspired Jihoon to be honest. To say all the things he was afraid to be honest with himself about. “When you’re around, I feel better.”

There was a long, awkward pause that just hung in the air. Jihoon wanted to curl up into a ball. To scratch and hit it in an attempt to make it go away.

“You should have told me that. It might have helped.” Taeil sighed and held out a can of beer.

Jihoon looked at it for a long moment before he recognized it. “This is one of mine.”

“I got to it first.” Taeil had a cheeky smile on his face. It made Jihoon want to kiss him. Thoughts like that were dangerous.

Taking the can (he might as well since it was his anyways), Jihoon took a drink. This was nice, sitting here like this. Maybe if things had been more like this, where they were able to be more honest and relaxed, it might have gone better. Those thoughts still bouncing around in his head, Jihoon remembered something that Taeil had told him a long time ago.

“You said you were bad at relationships,” Jihoon started. “So why…” Why me? Why take a chance with me? If you’re not the sort to date people, why did you decide to be different with me and leave me feeling so shitty now that things are over because I really don’t want them to be over but it felt like it was the only step left for us to take but I regret it all the time. So why? Why do that to me?

A sad feeling came over Taeil. “I thought I could change,” he said. “I kind of wanted to.”

The sadness in Taeil’s voice hurt to hear. Guilt hit Jihoon. It wasn’t just him then. Taeil might seem fine on the outside but he was putting on a show, just like Jihoon. And dammit, it really felt like Jihoon had let the older guy down. He could believe that Taeil had tried and that the guy had put up with a lot. He’d handled Jihoon’s need for others until he’d reached his breaking point. Jihoon had known this for a long time now. It just...hearing all this again only drove the point home further.

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon said, meaning each word. He wished there was more he could say. More he could have done. That he could change.

Taeil laughed. “It’s not something you need to apologize for. You got your shit and I got mine. It just turned out that our shits weren’t compatible.”

This time Jihoon was the one laughing. “You definitely have a way of putting things.”

“Is the fun moving out here?” Minho asked. He had another can of beer in his hand. He started to hand it over to Jihoon when he noticed the one that Jihoon already held. Stepping onto the steps with them, Minho called out to the others in the house. It barely took any time at all before the rest of the humans were outside too.

Kyung paused on his way out, shooting a questioning look Jihoon’s direction when he saw just how close Taeil was sitting next to Jihoon.

Shaking his head, Jihoon couldn’t help but wonder what the future would bring. Not now. But maybe. Maybe something good would happen in the future. He could hope.

\---

Taeil paused for a moment. An unexpected flurry of nerves had hit him. It was a strange feeling. He couldn’t remember this happening to him before. Or at least, not in a very long time. He shook them off and pushed open the door of the bar.

The warm smell of cigarette smoke mixed with alcohol greeted Taeil. Looking around, he immediately noticed that the place had a warm and cozy vibe to it. The sort of place that invited sitting close and having intimate conversations. He wondered if it was too late to back out.

An older man who looked just like the picture he’d sent Taeil waved him over. The guy was probably around the same age as Taeil’s own father. He was starting to gain wrinkles and a light peppering of gray was in his hair.

“You actually came,” the man said as they sat down. He sat so close to Taeil. Their thighs were touching.

“Yeah.” Taeil wished the man would scoot away a little. “You said this is all new?”

The man nodded. “I’ve had thoughts…” shame tinged his voice but there was nothing new about that. Taeil had seen that before. This man was like so many Taeil had gotten involved with before. Older, married, kids, a lifetime of stress and repression. Same story, different face.

“Why now?” Taeil asked, feigning curiosity. In reality, he just wanted to see what he was walking into. What kind of shitstorm he might need to watch out for.

“My wife won’t let me even touch her now.”

He’d heard that one before. Usually those were the smart women who’d realized they weren’t loved as a partner. As a woman. That all their husbands wanted was a body that looked pretty and could produce children who would make their family look picture perfect.

“So what next? Do we get a room?” The man seemed eager and nervous.

Something in how he asked that made Taeil feel sick. For the first time, he realized these men (his preferred type) just saw him as a body. An experience. They could replace him with someone else and be just as satisfied.

They were buying him. His time. His permission to use his body for their own pleasures. It was something that had never bothered Taeil before. It did now.

The answer wasn’t even hard to figure out. Looking at the man next to him didn’t fill Taeil with a sense of excitement. There was no thrill here. The man wasn’t the one Taeil wanted to be here with.

Jihoon. Fucking Jihoon. He’d ruined Taeil. All that pureness and just...Jihoon-ness. He’d been so good and nice and fuck, he’d actually liked Taeil. Like, pure and genuine like. That was more than clear. He’d liked Taeil for being himself and if Taeil were replaced with someone else, Jihoon would notice. He wouldn’t have been happy (or at the very least, ambivalent) about it.

Taeil wasn’t happy with this. Not anymore.

This whole situation just left Taeil feeling empty inside. He wondered if it would always feel this way. He hoped not because this really fucking sucked.

He realized the man next to him had been talking. He had no idea what the guy was talking about. It just sounded like nervous babble to fill the silence. Lovely.

“This isn’t going to work,” Taeil interrupted. He went to stand. The man placed a hand on Taeil’s arm. It was clear he wanted Taeil to stay. Too bad for him that Taeil just didn’t care.

Shrugging the hand off, Taeil kept walking. He didn’t stop until he was outside. The desperate cling of loneliness fell away and relief hit.

This was uncomfortable though. Until now, Taeil had always assumed he’d be fine. That he’d be able to go back to his old self. Apparently not. Jihoon had ruined him. The thought didn’t bother Taeil as much as he’d thought it might.

The lightness he felt slowly vanished as he got close to the vampire’s house. The reality of the situation he was in was sinking in. And it wasn’t pretty. He’d never be happy with his old way of life. Not now.

Relationships had never been Taeil’s style. And yet, that was all that was left for him. It really fucking sucked. Especially when he realized that he really just wanted to be with Jihoon. Stupid guy had ruined him forever.

\---

Jiho almost felt a feeling of dread as he entered the code to his rooms. He wished it wasn’t this way but there was little he could do. Not until Jaehyo was back with him.

He entered but stopped before he reached the bedrooms. He couldn’t bring himself to actually go that far. Not yet. Sitting on the couch, he wondered how much longer it’d be until things felt right again.

Laying down, he could almost ignore the sounds of Jaehyo just a little ways away. Almost.

Something hard poked into his side. Grumbling to himself, Jiho pulled at whatever it was. A notebook. It wasn’t anything special looking. It was well worn though. And since Jiho had no recollection of it, he guessed that it had been Jaehyo’s. That it **was** Jaehyo’s.

He couldn’t think in the past tense. It was too dangerous of a thing. If he did that, he’d start to lose hope and that was the one thing he couldn’t do.

Having this notebook was nice. It felt so cool and solid in his hands. Like having a piece of the Jaehyo he’d once had. Part of Jiho felt like he should put it back. That this was Jaehyo’s. And even though it’d been hidden (rather poorly at that), it had still been hidden. But this was Jaehyo. Jiho couldn’t help but hope that there might be a clue in here that might bring Jaehyo back. That they might be able to return to the life they’d once had.

A smile spread across Jiho’s face at the familiar handwriting. It was so good to see. And then he started to read the words.

Cold spread across him, replacing the warmth Jiho had felt just moments before. This...this wasn’t a happy notebook. Not with Jaehyo talking about his death, a true final death, as a matter of fact. An eventuality that was going to happen. The certainty of his words was chilling.

As he flipped through the pages, Jiho felt his anger grow. He almost got up to yell at the creature that’d replaced Jaehyo when the vampire stopped. The paged he’d turned to had his name on it.

_My Jiho,_

_I love you. I always have and always will. Those words don’t feel like they’re enough but they’re all I have. But you already knew that. When it comes to me, you've always been the one who understands me best._

_I don’t regret our time apart. Even now as I write this with you asleep in my bed, I don’t regret it. Yes, that was time we could have spent together. The words, the kisses, the love. We’ll never be able to get them back and I do regret that. But I also recognize just how miserable we were making each other. Our time apart did us good._

_My heart is overwhelmed by the depth of my feelings towards you. If I had stayed, we wouldn’t be this way now._

_There has been one constant in my life. You. My life has gone on for far longer than it should have. If I had been told so many years ago that I would live this long, I would have called you or whoever else crazy. A life that long would have sounded like torture. And I would have been wrong. All the moments with you have been bliss._

_I am the luckiest person alive. I’ve been given numerous lifetimes with you which is far more than anyone else is given._

_I know that if you’re reading this, things went wrong. I didn’t return. You can’t blame yourself for that. I haven’t been fully human for a long time. And this whole process isn’t guaranteed. I’ve always wanted this and you just gave me what I wanted._

_Jiho._

_I feel silly that I can’t get my thoughts together. That I’m all over the place here. It’s hard to write this. I don’t want to write this. It’s not a happy letter. Not for me. I don’t want to write this. As much as I love you, a life without you would be torture and I know you feel the same._

_You’re asleep in the next room. I want to crawl into bed with you but there’s still so much to do. I feel like I need more time, that I’ll just keep coming up with excused to delay this. Jiho, I’m scared. I don’t want to lose myself. I don’t want to lose you. This whole thing is a giant risk. It might not work. Or it will. And you’ll never read this. I hope you never read this._

_I love you._

_-J_

__

Jiho read the words over and over, committing them to memory, engraving them onto his heart. He loved and hated Jaehyo so much in this moment.

“Why?” He asked the creature in Jaehyo’s body. He hadn’t even realized that he’d come to Jaehyo. That he’d gripped the shirt Jaehyo wore.

The younger vampire had a quizzical look on his face. So many times recently it felt like Jaehyo understood him. And that was a scary thing. It gave Jiho hope. Hope was good. Up until the point where he saw that his Jaehyo still hadn’t come back yet.

A hand reached out, resting on Jiho’s cheek. The move was warm and familiar. Jaehyo had done this so many times before. It was what he did whenever he was trying to comfort Jiho whenever Jiho was upset.

Looking into Jaehyo’s eyes, there was almost something warm and familiar in them.

“You’re in there, aren’t you?” Jiho murmured. He felt like Jaehyo was close. Was this the moment? Please let this be his Jaehyo. Let him come back.

Jiho hadn’t been religious in a long time. That didn’t stop him from praying right now. He didn’t care who listened so long as they actually did something.

Wildness flooded Jaehyo’s eyes. He could see the hunger driving it which made that wildness easier to deal with. After all, he could feel that his Jaehyo was close and maybe a little blood would help.


	42. it's never something that you can just move on from

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a little longer chapter to make up for the lack of updates last weekend!

A ghost stood before Yukwon. That’s what it felt like for a moment anyways. Then the man laughed and went back to his conversation. He didn’t even seem to register Yukwon. In a way, that both hurt and was a relief.

He knew the man wasn’t his brother. Though his older brother had lived long enough to see a great-grandchild born, the man had died many years ago. That didn’t mean Yukwon didn’t recognize the man’s descendants though.

It was weird to see someone who looked so familiar but not know them. In the old days, it’d been easy to keep track of his brother. Of his birth family. There hadn’t been many of them. As time went on, it got harder. There were just too many to keep track of. And he didn’t care about them in the same way he’d cared for his brother. These people were strangers.

Yukwon wasn’t even sure they still shared the same blood.

“Everything okay?” Sunhye asked.

“I thought I saw someone I knew,” he answered truthfully.

“Is that a good thing? Or bad?” A feeling of genuine concern was radiating off her.

Yukwon shrugged. “Weird,” he answered. “I was adopted when I was kid. That guy kind of looked like my older brother from my first family.”

From the expression on her face, he could tell what she was thinking. “I’m not going to chase him down and ask about it. He’s not my brother. And even if he was, it’s old history at this point and making a big deal about it wouldn’t make anything better.”

Sunhye deflated some. It made Yukwon feel guilty because it was clearly a response to his words. This needed to be made clear now though. He couldn’t have her poking into his past, asking questions. It would only make things worse in the long run.

“So the brother you mentioned before...is he your adopted brother?”

Jaehyo. She was talking about Jaehyo. Still not an easy topic but a lot easier to deal with than talking about his birth family. “Basically.” He could see the questions on her face. “He was the one who took care of me. Made sure I always had whatever I needed.”

“He sounds like a pretty amazing guy.” Sunhye sighed but it came across as a happy sound.

Yukwon smiled. “He is.”

They kept walking, falling into a comfortable silence as they did so. It was nice. Being this comfortable around someone was a rare treat. There were people he’d lived with for years that he hadn’t been this comfortable around. He couldn’t help but be thankful that she’d lost control of her dog that day they’d met.

He was sad when they separated, each of them heading off in their own directions. Spending time with her, it was magic. He felt like time flew by. That all his concerns and worries just plain didn’t matter.

It was early but Yukwon could already see his future. He would have to choose the sort of life he truly wanted. It might have scared him in the past. Actually, it **had** scared him in the past. He’d given up on a life outside of Jaehyo and Zico once already. The choice hadn’t been an easy one but he’d made it.

He hadn’t known Sunhye long but Yukwon knew he would have to make that choice again. He wasn’t sure what he’d do this time. He barely knew Sunhye but he felt connected to her. And he could see a future with her. He tried to not do that. If he let himself think about those sorts of things, he might actually start believing in them. He might start coming up with names for the adorable girl he saw in his dreams. He could start picturing the apartment they might live in with their pack of dogs.

A life like that was so sweet and simple. It wasn’t one Yukwon had seen for himself. It was a life he’d turned his back on once before.

He was a different person now though. He’d lost Jaehyo not once but twice now. He’d figured out how to survive in a world where he didn’t have Jaehyo to rely on. A world where Yukwon himself had to be the strong one. And Yukwon didn’t have to hold back now. In the eyes of the law, Yukwon was a perfectly legitimate man.

“You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind.” Zico’s voice cut through his thoughts.

Yukwon gave a little nod. “I wish Hyung were here. I feel like if I could talk to him, it would make everything clear.” Nothing against Zico. It was just...Jaehyo was just...it was easier to relax around Jaehyo.

Zico had a curious look on his face. He was thinking about something. “Stay here,” the vampire said before walking off.

What was going on? Yukwon couldn’t help but hope that Jaehyo had returned. After all, Zico had gone downstairs. Having Jaehyo back at this moment would be so perfect. The man had always had magical timing in the past. He just always seemed to know whenever Yukwon needed him most. The idea that Zico would return with Jaehyo now, when Yukwon felt so lost, seemed perfect and fitting.

There was no Jaehyo when Zico returned. Yukwon tried not to show just how crushed that left him. Zico had a notebook with him that he handed to Yukwon. It was already open to a page.

“What’s this?” Yukwon asked. A sense of dread filled him as he tried to avoid looking at it.

“It’s Jaehyo’s,” the vampire said. “I found it a few days ago.”

Yukwon took it but didn’t actually look at it. “Should you really just be handing this over?” Jaehyo had never seemed like the sort to keep a journal. He wouldn’t lie though. This looked and felt like it could be a journal.

“It’s…” Zico laughed. “He wrote letters to people before he was turned. This is one he wrote to you.”

A letter just for him. Yukwon almost looked down, curious to read it instantly. At the same time, he was scared to read it. There wasn’t much of Jaehyo left in the world right now. Yukwon had the strangest feeling that if he read this, a piece of Jaehyo would disappear.

“Just...just read it, okay?” Zico requested. He had a soft smile on his face. Ultimately, that soft look was what convinced Yukwon to read it.

_Kwonnie,_

_I am beyond proud of you. You’ve grown up to be an amazing man. My hopes and expectations for you have far been surpassed. When I found you all those years ago, I never imagine the amount of joy and love you would bring my life._

_I’ve been the luckiest man alive. I got to see you grow up. I’ve gotten to spend so many years with you._

_Of all the boys I’ve helped take care of, you are by far the one who is most near and dear to my heart. Don’t tell the others but you’ve always been my favorite. You might have guessed that though. I’ve tried to be impartial but my favoritism had to have shown through at times._

Yukwon looked up, needing a break from Jaehyo’s words. They were beautiful but painful at the same time. Zico had moved, sitting by the window as he fiddled with his phone.

“Everything okay?” Zico asked, not looking up.

“I hate him.” It was a lie. Yukwon loved Jaehyo more than ever at this moment.

“I had the same reaction,” Zico said, sounding amused. Yukwon smiled as he turned his attention towards the notebook again.

_I want you to be happy Kwonnie. It’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. I might sound like an old parent but then again, when it comes to you, that’s basically what I am. I spent years trying to deny that idea but in the end, I had to admit it._

_I love you. When I see the man you’ve become, I think that you are the one thing I’ve done right in my life. And maybe you’ll think it’s silly but I want to see just how far you’ll go. You’re the sort of person who will do great things in his life._

_Kwonnie, don’t repeat my mistakes. When I was human, I always longed for a family. I’ve seen that look on you before. It took me far too long and too many mistakes to figure out that I’d had my family all along. Please don’t make my mistakes. Don’t wait for life to send you a sign. By the time you recognize the signs, it’s too late. You need to take advantage of any opportunity you get._

_You’re the most amazing kid I’ve ever had the luck to meet._

_-Jaehyo_

Yukwon set the notebook down. He could barely see through the tears that threatened to fall. This wasn’t Jaehyo but Yukwon could hear the words in the man’s voice. After Jaehyo himself, this was the next best thing.

The words hurt ot read in the best way. They were the words he’d needed. The permission he’d needed to feel comfortable with taking a step away from here. Towards a new and different sort of future.

“Everything okay?” Zico asked again. He was looking at Yukwon now, concern on his face but he stayed in his chair.

“Hyung’s too good for me,” Yukwon answered. He could hear the emotions in his own voice.

“Yep. Me too.” Zico smiled. “Did it help?”

Yukwon nodded, stopping in front of the vampire. “Remember that girl I told you about?”

Zico’s smile grew. “The one you wouldn’t stop talking about? Yeah, I remember her.”

Yukwon felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Had he really talked about her that much? He hadn’t meant to. “Yeah, that’s her,” he admitted. A feeling of shyness came over him. Feelings were always so embarrassing to talk about.

“What about her?”

The fire on Yukwon’s face blazed as he thought about what he was going to say. He fanned himself, trying to cool himself down and knowing that he was completely and utterly failing. “I think...I think I might end up leaving this house one day because of her.”

“That’s…” Zico looked surprised. “That’s a big deal.”

Yukwon nodded. “Especially for me.” He’d always been the one who said he’d stay forever. Had never expressed an interest in leaving.

Zico laughed. “Yeah, basically.” Once he finished laughing, once he’d calmed down, his expression turned serious. “Are you that serious?”

Yukwon took a moment to think about it. Not that he really needed to think. “I think so. I...I can see a life with her. And that’s not making me freak out.”

“I’m so glad Jaehyo can’t hear you right now,” Zico said. “He’d never shut up about how proud and happy for you he’d be.”

True. Maybe it was a good thing Jaehyo hadn’t returned to them yet.

“I won’t go just yet,” Yukwon said. “Not until Hyung’s future is certain.”

Once they knew if they were getting their Jaehyo back. It might seem silly to wait but Yukwon needed that sort of closure before he could move on with his life. Before he could start the next step of his life.

\---

Resting his head against the door, Kyung wondered if this was it. The grooves in the door felt familiar and welcoming. He knew he should go in but the night was still nice. And if he went in, Kyung would have to ask Zico the question he didn’t want to ask.

Minhyuk was important to Kyung. He could admit that easily now. Somehow over the last few months, the feelings inside Kyung had bloomed. They’d grown from friendship into something more. It was scary to see just how fast that all had happened.

He didn’t want to let his worlds mix. Too late for that though. His worlds had already started mixing when he’d let his sister and Minhyuk meet. And now Minhyuk was pushing to see into this part of Kyung’s life. He kept pushing to see more and more. To see this house.

Zico was in his studio. No surprises there. The guy spent most of his time in that room. At least, that was the case whenever the vampire wasn’t hiding away with Jaehyo. A few months ago, Kyung would have been jealous at just how much of the vampire’s time Jaehyo was getting.

Now? It was a relief to have Zico so distracted.

Kyung relaxed on the couch, opening his phone to play a game. He didn’t want to deal with anyone right now but he also didn’t want to hide away. A door opened. Someone sat on Kyung’s left.

“Can I help you?” Kyung asked, seeing that it was Yukwon.

The guy shrugged. “Just curious to see who I’d heard.” He leaned over, looking at Kyung’s phone screen. “What’re you playing?”

“One of Minhyuk-hyung’s friends suggested it,” Kyung answered. “It’s just a simple rhythm game.”

“Looks fun. Can I try?” Yukwon asked.

The thought of just handing over his phone didn’t sound all that appealing to Kyung. However he didn’t exactly have a great reason to turn the guy down either. So he handed over his phone. A round or two would be okay.

“My boyfriend keeps wanting to come over here,” Kyung said, feeling the need to fill the silence.

“Do you want him to come over?” Yukwon asked as he played the game.

“Not really,” Kyung admitted. “I know it seems silly but I don’t want my worlds mixing.”

Yukwon handed back the phone. “Nah, I get it.”

True. The guy had been here for a long time. Maybe that’s what had compelled Kyung to bring this up. It made about as much sense as anything else.

“Do you think you can be together if you keep him away from here?” YUkwon asked. It was a good question and one Kyung didn’t have an answer to. He wished he knew but that was impossible. Predicting the future wasn’t a skill Kyung had.

“He’s getting persistent.” Kyung really didn’t like that persistence either. It might just be paranoia but Kyung got the feeling that his boyfriend was more interested in getting the chance to see Zico than he was in Kyung’s feelings. Not exactly something Kyung wanted to admit to himself though.

He’d always know that Minhyuk had been too good to be true. It just sucked to find out now. In this way.

“How long have you two been dating?” Yukwon asked.

He really wanted to hate Yukwon right about now. The guy was really good at asking questions Kyung wasn’t sure he had the answers to.

“He told me that he was interested in me several months ago,” Kyung answered. “I agreed to give him a chance and I’m not entirely sure when it happened. It just kind of did.”

“That’s actually pretty damn cute,” Yukwon said, a teasing tone in his voice. He looked like he was trying not to laugh. Talk about annoying. Kyung had to fight the urge not to rub Yukwon’s face into the floor.

“You have two choices,” Yukwon said after he’d calmed down. He held up a finger. “Tell him you can’t let him come here yet and live with this. Or you bring him and open up a can of who the fuck even knows what.”

“Those options suck.” Kyung could hear the pout in his voice.

“Yeah,” Yukwon agreed. “They do. They’re really your only choices right now though.”

“You’re not helping.” Kyung couldn’t exactly argue with Yukwon though. Now when the guy spoke the truth.

His words were still bouncing around in Kyung’s head as he got ready for bed. He knew what Minhyuk wanted. It was just, well, Kyung wasn’t ready to let his worlds mix just yet.

A heaviness filled Kyung as he sent his boyfriend a quick text explaining that it wasn’t possible. He didn’t like telling Minhyuk ‘no’ but Kyung just couldn’t. He wasn’t usually the selfish sort. He had to be selfish now though. It was the only way to keep his mental sanity.

\---

Jiho tried not to feel hope when he woke. Considering the date though, it was hard. He knew what today was. His birthday. Or, well, the day he’d picked as his birthday a long time ago. There was only one thing he wanted. It was the same thing he’d hoped for on his last birthday too. Jaehyo.

He went to where Jaehyo was still chained. His eyes shone with a wild intelligence that scared Jiho. He’d never seen that look in his brother’s eyes. There had just been madness with Jiseok. It was hard to tell if this was a good or bad sign.

“It’s my birthday,” Jiho said as Jaehyo fed off him. The young vampire had gotten almost gentle with his feedings now. Jiho knew it was dangerous but he couldn’t help relaxing into Jaehyo. His body just craved the other too much. Stroking Jaehyo’s soft hair, he went on. “There’s only one thing I want. I wanted it last year too. All I’ve wanted is for you to return to me.”

He sighed. “I want our old life to return. I know for you it’s going to feel like you died and then you woke up, magically in the future. None of this will be remembered. I have to say that going through this all the slow way sucks.”

Jiho had known that going in but he’d forgotten just how terrible it could be. Part of him had truly hoped that this part would barely happen, that Jaehyo had enough vampiric magic in him to transition smoothly. Turns out that didn’t matter.

This year was both better and worse than his birthday last year. At least now he did have Jaehyo. He could touch and hold the man. But this wasn’t the Jaehyo he wanted. He wanted the Jaehyo that was bright and vibrant, full of life.

When Jaehyo had taken his fill, he released Jiho. The older vampire stood there for a few moments longer. Being this close to Jaehyo hurt but it brought comfort too. The feelings left Jiho more than a little confused.

WIth a heavy heart, Jiho left his rooms. It wasn’t like his birthdays in the past. Those had been some truly great times. All night in bed, sharing blood and sex with the one he loved. Just nights full of love and passion. Nothing could replace those.

“Box came for you today,” Yukwon said, gesturing to the one sitting on the table.

No doubt it was a present. But from who?

Designer brand. Whoever had gotten it for him hadn’t spared any cost. Opening the box, Jiho found an oversized hoodie. It was pretty purple. And soft. It felt so incredibly soft, like touching a dream. Jiho wanted to put it on instantly. So that’s exactly what he did.

“Who sent it?” Yukwon asked. He had envy in his eyes, clearly wanting to wear it himself.

Jiho shrugged then stopped. A small card was still sitting in the box. He picked it up and felt his breath catch in his throat.

_-J_

Jaehyo had sent it. Clearly this was something he’d set up months and months ago. Stupid, thoughtful, wonderful man. Of course it was perfect, just the sort of thing Jiho would instantly love.

“Jaehyo sent it,” he said, holding up the card. He didn’t know if he loved or hated the man right now.

Yukwon smiled. “Should have guessed. It’s perfect for you.”

“Damn that looks good,” Taeil’s voice said from his bedroom doorway. “How do I get one?”

“Spend way too much money,” Yukwon answered.

Taeil didn’t look the most enthused about that idea. He took a seat next to Yukwon. “Some sort of special reason for it?”

“Hyung sent it for his birthday,” Yukwon replied. Bless this child for speaking up. That was something Jiho was finding a tad difficult at the moment.

That seemed to get Taeil’s attention. He looked at Jiho, evaluating the situation. “It’s your birthday?”

Jiho nodded. Somehow he found the ability to speak. “Yeah. Decided on it a long time ago. I’m not actually sure when I was born but it felt right.”

“Do you even know how old you are?”

“Nope.”

Yukwon laughed. “He’s really old,” the kid said. “He might even be older than dirt.”

Jiho shot an annoyed look Yukwon’s way. “Should you really be the one judging me and my age?” Yukwon was pretty old himself. Nowhere near as old as Jiho but the guy was still far older than any human had a right to be.

“Probably not,” Yukwon replied. Taeil just rolled his eyes, clearly judging them both.

Looking at the two humans, Jiho felt at peace. This was the house he’d once had. The house he wanted once again. He hoped the happiness in this room was reaching Jaehyo. Maybe this was what they needed to bring him back.

Something seemed to draw everyone to where they were gathered. The mood stayed lighthearted and lively. The sight of all his boys gathered here, enjoying themselves and each other filled Jiho with a warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time.

This was the kind of house they’d once had. The sort of house Jaehyo had wanted them to have again. He really missed Jaehyo at this moment. The guy wasn’t the most social but he loved to see others happy. He was a people pleaser, through and through.

Pulling out his phone, Jiho snapped a few pictures when no one was paying him any attention. He wanted to savor the preciousness of this moment. Of having a place that truly felt like a home again. And more than any other group they’d had, this group felt like they were his. In the past, Jiho had never really let himself get close to his humans. He’d left his fears of hurting them keep him separated from them. Looking around now, he could see just how foolish that’d been. Just how alone and vulnerable and dependent that had left him.

A promise with himself. Jiho vowed to never let himself go back to that way of life. That he’d never hurt himself that way again. It was too cruel a thing and it’d hurt everyone who had used to live here. Though he could see them, the vampire was sure Yukwon and Jihoon carried scars from Jiho’s past self. Jaehyo certainly did.

Mino tapped Jiho on the shoulder. He had his arm held out. An offer of blood. It was unexpectedly touching.

“Are you sure?” Jiho asked. He wasn’t used to any of the guys (besides Yukwon and Jihoon) being able to read his needs.

“You look hungry,” Mino said with a nod.

Jiho shot the guy a grateful smile. “I fed Jaehyo earlier,” he answered. With those words, a shift rippled through the group. The mood was tempered with a tinge of sadness and regret.

“How is he?” Jihoon asked as Jiho finished feeding. “You never bring him up.” The look on Jihoon’s face sent a wave of guilt that washed over Jiho.

Jiho wiped some of Mino’s blood from his chin. “He’s not himself,” the vampire admitted. “Some days, I think he’s close.”

“You think he’ll be back soon?” Kyung asked. The eagerness in his voice, in his face, were a bit of a surprise. To be honest, the vampire had always assumed Kyung didn’t like Jaehyo. Apparently that thought had been wrong.

Kyung’s question was a tough one to answer. Looking around at the group, Jiho decided that honesty was his best (only) option. “I don’t know,” the vampire admitted. “At times, he acts like he’s almost back. And then I blink and he’s back to being wild.”

Seunghoon cleared his throat. “Who...who is Jaehyo?” When everyone turned to look at him, the guy gave a nervous chuckled. “I’ve heard the name mentioned before but no one’s ever really talked about whoever he is.”

Hearing that was a minor shock. How did they explain Jaehyo anyways? Talking about Jaehyo, trying to explain him, felt like an impossible task.

“He’s the one who took me in,” Yukwon said. “He found me when I was kid and brought me here.”

Kyung snorted. “What he’s failing to mention is that he was a kid something like 300 years ago.”

Jiho laughed. “Yukwon’s not quite that old.” He loved seeing his boys joke and tease each other. That was the sort of thing that made this home feel like a true home.

“I was a kid a long time ago,” Yukwon admitted. “Just not that long ago.”

Confusion was written on Seunghoon’s face. “What are you talking about?”

No one had ever told Seunghoon about any of this. From they way he spoke and the expressions on his face, that was very clear. Whoops. Way to fuck that up.

“Living here has some benefits,” Mino began explaining. “One of them his getting an extended life.”

“With eternal youth,” Yukwon jumped in. “It can be a perk or a curse. Just depends on how you look at things.”

“I can never tell if you guys are screwing with me or not.” Seunghoon looked around, trying to find help in someone.

Jiho shook his head. “They’re not messing with you this time,” the vampire said. “It’s a side effect of being around me. People live longer and keep their youth while they live here.”

He sighed and decided to go on. Because if he didn’t, this would never happen. “We’re making a mess of explaining all this.” No one argued that point. “Jaehyo is...he’s been my partner for a very long time. He was human for most of that time but a few months ago, I attempted to change him into a vampire.”

“I take it things aren’t going well?” Seunghoon asked, clearly asking for a form of clarification.

Jiho shrugged. “He’s the first one I’ve ever tried to do this with. And the whole process varies from person to person.” Jiseok flashed in his mind for just a moment. Jiho squashed it. No need to bring up those sorts of painful memories. Not when he already had Jaehyo on his mind.

“It’s been a few months.” Jihoon rested a hand on the vampire’s shoulder. “Maybe he just needs more time.”

Jiho certainly hoped that was the case. He wanted life to go back to the way it had been. A little more time. Jiho had lived a long time so a little more was something he could do. It was just that waiting really sucked. Patience wasn’t exactly his strongest suit.

The situation felt different when he was face to face with reality. With Jaehyo.

Jaehyo’s eyes were wild. Clear and dark and deep but still wild. Disappointment filled Jiho as he watched the younger vampire. Humanity must have clung to him because Jaehyo was pulling on his chains, trying to reach Jiho. The chains were taut, looking like they might snap at any moment. The sight should have been terrifying. Instead, all it did was fill Jiho was sadness.

He wasn’t sure what to do. He just wanted to bring his Jaehyo back.

“The boys and I spent some time together earlier,” Jiho said. Maybe by filling the silence, by talking about life, it would help. “Apparently no one ever told Seunghoon about you.”

A moment later, Jiho realized that Jaehyo would have no idea just who Seunghoon was. The two had never met. So he explained Seunghoon. His position in the house, what he was like. Anything and everything that popped into the vampire’s mind.

Jaehyo was listening. His eyes might be wild but it was clear he was following along. The real question: was this good or bad?


	43. tell me the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big Bang - Cafe

Taeil felt a wave of relief hit as he sank into the chair at the bar. He waved to the bartender, ordering. He hadn’t exactly planned to spend today alone but that’s how things had fallen. He’d never been the most social but it was more than a little fascinating to see how his life had changed since he’d come to the vampire’s house just a few months ago.

His life had become that house and those inside it. Funny but in just a short time, they’d become like a second family to him. Except it was also lonely as tonight so clearly illustrated. Zico, Yukwon, and Jaehyo were their own little unit. Jihoon had never needed Taeil. He had his own group with Mino. Kyung didn’t really have anyone else at the house but he had his boyfriend and a whole life outside the house.

Getting warm, Taeil shrugged off his jacket. He winced a little as he took it off. The bite on his arm was sore. Zico was taking more than he used to and it was taking longer to heal after each feeding. From what Taeil had put together, it was all because of Jaehyo. He was feeding off Zico and taking a lot of blood each time he did so. Guy wasn’t even really around and he was still being a pain in the ass. Just another reason to be annoyed with Jaehyo. The version that Taeil had known was a solid, good guy. He was the sort that was just perfect and that perfectness rubbed Taeil in all the wrong ways. Seeing Jaehyo, knowing him, it made Taeil feel like an ass when he’d tease the guy but he couldn’t help the feelings Jaehyo inspired in himself.

In a lot of ways, Jaehyo was the kind of guy Taeil had always wanted to be. He was tall and handsome. He was warm and friendly. It was impossible not to open up to him, to trust and confide in him. And everyone liked him. They were comfortable around him and would tease him but it was never mean-spirited. All of that combined made Jaehyo a very dangerous person. That was the plain and simple truth.

“Mind if I sit here?” A guy’s voice asked as he pulled out the chair next to Taeil.

“Do whatever you want,” Taeil told the guy. He didn’t give a flying fuck so long as the guy didn’t bother him.

And all was fine for about five seconds because it took that long for the guy’s open staring at Taeil’s arms to get annoying. Taeil was used to a little attention but most people had the decency to ignore him. Not this guy though.

“Can I help you?” Taeil asked through gritted teeth. He really didn’t want to start a scene. He would if he had to but he didn’t want to. He liked this place. He liked the idea of being the cool guy who sat the bar and minded his own fucking business.

“I’ve never seen someone with so many tattoos who shows them off,” the guy answered.

A sense of deja vu hit Taeil at the familiarity of those words. It took him a few moments to realize this was almost exactly like the time when he’d first met Jihoon. The universe had to be playing some sort of sick joke on him. It was the only logical explanation.

The guy reached over and tapped on the bite site. “Is this for one? Another tattoo, I mean,” he said.

His open curiosity and clear fascination with Taeil’s tattoos made Taeil give the guy another look. At least he wasn’t getting berated about the tattoos. The guy next to him looked young. Maybe even as young as Jihoon. He wasn’t as tall as Jihoon but that didn’t mean he was short. And shit, now that Taeil was looking at the guy, he could see that the guy was handsome. The blond on this guy really suited him too in a way that was entirely unfair.

“No, it’s just some stupid bug bites that won’t heal,” Taeil replied. It wasn’t like he could tell the actual truth. Was this some sort of sign? Was there a reason why this guy reminded Taeil of when he met Jihoon? It felt too early to move on. Foolish but part of Taeil secretly hoped that there might be a chance of reconciling with Jihoon. He knew he still cared about the kid. It was a massively stupid move on his part and Taeil knew it. He just wasn’t ready to let go of that just yet.

“I’m Minhyuk,” the guy said, introducing himself.

“Taeil,” he responded automatically. Then he asked the question he had to know the answer to. “How old are you?”

A sense of dread and amazement hit Taeil when Minhyuk replied, giving the same age as Jihoon. Fate had to playing some sort of twisted joke on him.

\---

It was hard to breathe. Jihoon felt like fighting. Felt like running away. That would be the smartest option.

Jihoon couldn’t tear his eyes away from the bar. Taeil was sitting there, another guy sitting far too close to him. Jihoon could feel the jealousy bubbling inside himself. He wanted to step between them. To make that guy leave Taeil alone.

The guy touched Taeil’s arm. Jihoon bristled. He wanted to go over there so badly. He didn’t. Jihoon knew he didn’t have the right to demand anything. Besides, the message Taeil was sending was loud and clear.

_I don’t need you anymore._

It hurt. A lot. Way more than Jihoon had imagined. They hadn’t dated long. Only a month or so. And yet it felt like a dagger was getting shoved into Jihoon’s heart. And then getting twisted all around to make it that much worse.

Taeil left. Barely a second passed by and his new friend was following him out the door. Jihoon felt like puking.

It was growing hard to see that Taeil had cared for him. Jihoon wondered how many lies he’d been told. How could Taeil jump into dating others so quickly? Jihoon knew the guy had gone on a few dates since they’d ended things.

The idea of dating someone else was unfathomable to Jihoon. Maybe it didn’t last long but that short relationship with Taeil had been intense. It’d been solid and real in a way that nothing else had been.

Seeing Taeil leave with someone else shattered a hope that Jihoon hadn’t been consciously aware of until that moment. It was clear they wouldn’t get back together. Not with Taeil already making it clear he’d moved on.

For a brief moment, he wished Taeil would come back into the bar. Not so Jihoon could try to claim the guy but so he could pick someone and try to make Taeil jealous. There were more than a few pretty girls at this bar and Jihoon could flirt with one of them if he had to.

When Jihoon woke the next afternoon, he felt like living death. Sunlight was pouring in through the open curtain. Jihoon was not a fan. Clearly sunlight needed to be illegal. Someone needed to work on outlawing it. Someone that wasn’t Jihoon because right now Jihoon was trying not to puke.

Drinking plus street food had been a great idea last night. Now? Not so much. Jihoon stumbled out of bed. He barely made it to the toilet before anything and everything he’d ever even thought of eating came out. It felt neverending. His strength was quickly fading away and he was shaking.

Somehow he made it back to bed. Collapsing, he fell asleep again.

Cool hands. Soft, caring hands wiping his brow. So gentle. “Jaehyo-hyung, let me sleep,” Jihoon mumbled in the brief second he woke up before he fell back into unconsciousness.

The next time he woke, the bedroom was dark. And while Jihoon still felt shitty, he didn’t feel as shitty. He sat up with a groan. His head was pounding. His hands were shaking. Painkillers and a bottle of water were sitting on the table next to his bed. From the ring of water underneath, he guessed that the bottle had been sitting there for some time now.

Whoever had left them was a saint.

Making his way to the kitchen, he found Yukwon and Zico. Apparently Jihoon looked like utter shit because Yukwon immediately set a bowl of rice and soup on the counter. “Eat,” he said in a stern but caring voice. The gesture was so heartbreakingly familiar.

“I think I hallucinated Hyung taking care of me,” Jihoon said as he looked at the food. He had woken up feeling so at peace and cared for. The world just felt right for once.

“That sounds like a nice dream,” Zico said. His voice had a wistful quality to it that made Jihoon hate Jaehyo a little for putting them all in this situation.

Jihoon nodded, unable to speak through a mouthful of rice. It really had been nice. But at the same time, he felt the reality of the situation so hard now. The weight of these last few months were weighing on him now that his brain had teased him with Jaehyo. “What’s the reality of him coming back?”

He looked at Zico. Yukwon was watching the vampire too.

Zico had a pained expression on his face. “I don’t know.” The words looked like they hurt the vampire to say. They certainly hurt to hear. “He could be back tomorrow or he could be gone for good.”

So the same thing they’d been told before. Not a surprise but it was disappointing nonetheless.

\---

“Are you going to tell him that you’re the one who has been taking care of him whenever he’s too drunk and hungover?”

Would Zico still pay him if he ignored the vampire? It was a tempting thought to Taeil.

“No,” Taeil answered. It should be obvious but on the off chance he needed to make the situation clear, well, he covered his ass. “What I do of my own free will is none of his concern.”

Jihoon didn’t need to know. From what Taeil knew of him, it’d just make Jihoon guilty. That was not Taeil’s purpose for this. He just cared for Jihoon and wanted to take care of him. It was so weird and alien that Taeil wondered just who the hell he’d become. But Taeil knew he could handle the pain of this.

“He’s half-convinced it’s Jaehyo,” Zico said. “And he thinks you’re seeing someone else.”

The fuck? “Why does he think that?”

“He saw you leave some bar with a guy one night,” Zico replied. “Can you two please start fucking again? It was way simpler when you two had your shit together. Being in the middle of this is getting exhausting.”

Taeil needed several moments to figure out just what in the world Zico was talking about. And then the flash of a handsome smile popped into his head. Taeil groaned.

“Does he really?” Taeil asked, unable to believe his luck.

Zico nodded. “What’d you expect? You didn’t make it a secret that you were going on dates with people again.”

“One. It was one time. And I backed out right away,” Taeil argued. He spun in his chair, trying to ignore the awkwardness he felt.

“Did you tell Jihoon that?” Zico asked.

Taeil wanted to hate the vampire so much in this moment. The guy was too good at reading him and asking questions that hurt Taeil to answer. At the same time, it was nice having someone who understood and held Taeil accountable.

“Do you realize how awkward it is to talk to him? Especially when it comes to relationships,” Taeil pointed out. He’d love to be able to sit and talk with Jihoon about this. He’d even tried a few times but his tongue always ended up tied in knots, refusing to cooperate.

“It’s only going to get worse with time,” Zico replied. He pulled up a track, letting the music play all around them.

“You don’t need to remind me.” Taeil was well aware of that. “Besides, apparently he thinks I’m seeing someone else now.” Talk about making a less than great situation worse.

Zico turned to Taeil. “What’s the story with that anyways?” There was a protectiveness in the vampire’s tone that Taeil respected.

Taeil laughed. “I was at a bar and the guy approached me. He came on really strong. Way too strong. I told him I wasn’t interested and left. He followed and wouldn’t leave me alone.” Brushing off fate was apparently something you weren’t supposed to do. The guy had been incredibly persistent and more than a little interested in Taeil’s tattooed arms. It’d taken driving away on his motorcycle to finally ditch the guy for good.

“I didn’t even know Jihoon was there,” Taeil added, unable to hide the sadness in his voice. That little fact made him feel terrible. How had his Jihoon radar been so off?

“He was. He told Yukwon about it.” Zico sighed and spun in his chair. Something about the way Zico was acting made Taeil take a closer look at the vampire. He looked tired and drained. He was even paler than normal, bites absolutely covering his neck, each of them looking red and painful.

“Are you okay?” Taeil asked, concerned about the vampire. The whole situation had to be draining. It was clearly taking its toll on Zico and that was only one part of the vampire’s life. Taeil felt like an ass for dumping his own issues on the vampire.

“I’m fine,” Zico lied. It was so clear that he was suffering right now. The guarded shield the vampire normally wore was gone. In this moment, he was completely vulnerable.

Taeil shook his head. “That’s bullshit and we both know it.”

“What do you want me to say?” Zico asked, turning to the desk and the equipment on it. “Each day is like torture and I don’t know how much longer I can handle this. That’s not something I’d admit even if it were true.”

It was definitely true. That had come to Zico far too quickly and easily for it to not already be in his head.

“If you can’t handle it, how are you going to go on?” And how dangerous was the future going to be? Did he need to worry about the vampire snapping? Would he drag the whole house down in a depressed funk?

“The same as I have been,” Zico answered. He didn’t even hesitate in his answer which said a lot. He completely planned on shouldering it all and not letting anyone else feel the burden. It made Taeil respect the vampire even more than he already did.

“That’s a stupid idea.” Just because he respected the guy, that didn’t mean Taeil was going to lie to him.

There had to be at least a thread of truth in that from the way Zico started laughing. It was a full, hearty laugh with an edge of bitterness to it. The laugh was a reminder that Zico wasn’t human. And from what Taeil had picked up, the vampire hadn’t been human in a very long time.

Looking at Zico, it was easy to forget the vampire was different. The guy looked human. He mostly acted human. He wasn’t human though. Taeil committed the thought to memory. It seemed important. He had a feeling that he would need to remember that one day.

\---

The vampire looked up as Kyung entered the studio. The ‘do not disturb’ light was off so it was fine. It was just unexpected. Normally the only one who just walked in like that was Jaehyo. Not that Jaehyo had been doing much of that these last few months.

Kyung looked troubled. That was the only way to describe the human. It was such a stark contrast from how the human normally was. Jiho couldn’t help but feel concerned. Something was clearly not right in Kyung’s world.

Something about Kyung was special. From the first time the vampire had seen him, he’d been drawn to Kyung. The man seemed to understand Jiho in ways that even Jaehyo had struggled with. And if it weren’t for Jaehyo, he might even wonder if Kyung was supposed to be his soulmate or something similar. Hell, maybe Jiho was lucky and had two: a romantic one and a friend one. His life was weird enough anyways.

“Something on your mind?” Jiho asked even though he already knew the answer.

Hesitation filled Kyung. That only made Jiho more curious. Kyung took a deep breath. “I’ve been dating a guy from school for the last few months,” he said. He looked at the table, appearing to refuse to meet Jiho’s own gaze.

“I know.” Jiho had to fight not to show just how amused he was. He hadn’t know that was supposed to be a secret.

Kyung turned, a look of horror on his face. “You did?” He asked in the loudest whisper Jiho had ever heard. It was so hard not to laugh. Kyung just seemed so unaware of how obvious he’d been.

“Everyone knows,” Jiho replied. He wouldn’t be cruel and drag out Kyung’s horror. “So what’s the issue?”

He was curious. Kyung wasn’t one to share much about himself randomly. The guy was definitely the smartest out of any of them.

“Minhyuk-hyung wants to see this place,” Kyung answered. The problem was immediately clear.

“How do you explain this place?” Jiho voiced what he figured Kyung was thinking.

Kyung just laughed. It was short and biting. “Yeah, that too.”

What a curious thing to say. Jiho almost asked but he was cut off by Kyung. “He’s been really interested in coming here ever since I accidentally mentioned your name.”

“You’re afraid he’s a fan using you.” From the troubled look on Kyung’s face, Jiho knew he’d guessed right. The slow, pained nod only confirmed it.

“I hate myself for being so suspicious.” There was a broken quality to Kyung’s voice that hurt to hear. “It’s just...I wonder if I slipped up and mentioned you at some point earlier. We’ve been friends for awhile and just. I don’t know anymore.”

Jiho reached over, placing a supportive hand on Kyung’s arm. “Tell me what you want even if it’s nothing at all.” Jiho wouldn’t tell anyone. He was starting to get good at this whole emotional support role he’d forced himself into.

Kyung laughed but it still had that bitterness in it. “He says stuff like that too.”

“The boyfriend?” That was the only ‘he’ Jiho could think Kyung might be talking about right now.

A nod from Kyung. “Yep. It’s part of the reason why I keep wondering about him. He says all this stuff that sounds perfect. Too perfect, you know?”

No, not really. Not that Jiho would say that. He’d been lucky when it came to love and relationships. The only person he’d taken as a partner was currently chained to his bedroom wall.

Kyung kept going. “He’s persistent and I swear it’s like he can read my mind.” The human looked annoyed. “He’s too perfect.”

That was an interesting thing for Kyung to bring up. Jiho could even understand the wariness about perfection. He’d lived the experience himself.

“When I was human,” Jiho started. It was about that time that the vampire realized he was telling yet another person a part of his past. He’d barely mentioned anything before and now he couldn’t stop.

Jiho took a breath and started over. “When I was human, my family was offered an unbelievable opportunity.” From the attentive look on Kyung’s face, Jiho knew he had the human’s full attention. “We weren’t a wealthy family,” he continued. “Far from it, in fact. Times got tough around the time I was probably 11. They’d always been tough but that was when things just felt impossible.”

Kyung was completely fascinated by his words. The puppy look of curiosity was adorable. It was an endearing look on the guy. “What happened?” Kyung asked.

Jiho shrugged. “Bad year for everyone. The weather turned shitty.” That wasn’t the point though. “My family got lucky...or so we thought. We were taken in by a wealthy foreigner. He needed more servants.” They really should have asked why the guy had needed servants. Hindsight was a bitch.

“It felt perfect. And for a time, it was.” He didn’t mention how short that time was. No need to scare Kyung.

“Too perfect,” Kyung guessed.

Jiho nodded. “Yeah.” He had a reason for telling this story though. “Sometimes things look perfect and they aren’t. Sometimes they look perfect and they turn out okay. You’re a smart guy. If your brain is telling you something is wrong, you should listen to it.”

It was the only thing Jiho could say. Kyung knew the situation better than anyone else. Clearly Kyung had a reason to suspect his boyfriend but Jiho wouldn’t tell the human what to do. Even though it wasn’t a role he relished, Jiho felt obligated to add, “feel free to come to me with this sort of stuff again.”

It felt right. He basically had an open door policy like this with Taeil after all. Jiho just wondered when this had become his life. He was so used to keeping his distance. He wasn’t the one who did this sort of emotional stuff normally. Well, at least, that wasn’t who he used to be. He was changing.

“Losing you has made me more human.” He was in his room now, wiping the blood and sweat from Jaehyo’s skin. Keeping him clean felt appropriate. Besides, Jiho hoped that stuff like this would work in bringing Jaehyo back.

The younger vampire was studying him. At times, Jiho almost thought he understood. There was an intelligence in Jaehyo’s eyes.

Jiho just wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.


	44. you’re blowing over to me in this dream-like imagination

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VIXX - Shangri-La

Everything was dark and cold. He felt like he might start shivering at any moment. Except he didn’t. Doing that took too much effort. It was so much easier to just let his eyes stay closed, to let the neverending darkness swallow him.

Sinking deeper and deeper was all he could do right now. His strength was fading. There was something important he was supposed to remember but its identity escaped him. He just kept falling. Was that supposed to scare him? He didn’t feel scared. In fact, the more he fell, the less he felt.

It was hard to remember a time when there wasn't this darkness. The peace and familiarity of it brought comfort. It was his friend, the only one he had now.

For a moment, faces almost flashed across his vision but they flickered away before he even realized them. If he’d been aware, he’d have recognized they were important. But right now, nothing was important.

Everything came crashing to a halt as he slammed into something. The ground? But there was no ground here. And yet, as he opened his eyes, that appeared to be false.

The sun was shining. It hurt his eyes. They weren’t used to looking at things. He couldn’t remember using his eyes before. The sun’s assault on them was painful. He closed them again.

Slowly his senses seemed to come back, the connections in his brain slowly reconnecting.

Something that might almost be called warmth was hitting him. Or maybe it was warmth but he was just too cold to recognize it. The place he was in, whatever it was, was quiet. It was around this time he started to realize he was laying down.

The ground beneath his fingers felt cool. It was smooth and when he turned his head, he wasn’t surprised to see stone when he braved opening his eyes again. He sat up, moving slowly and carefully. Right now, he had a feeling he was safe. In this spot here, no one and no thing could do anything to him.

Except the longer he stayed here, the more it felt like he was wasting time. That there was something he was supposed to do, someone he needed to get back to. He just couldn’t remember why it was so important which was the frustrating part.

He was alone. Completely and utterly alone. The place he was in, a courtyard, felt vaguely familiar. It was quiet here. There weren’t even birds singing in the trees.

Having this place so deserted felt wrong. This place...it was supposed to be full of life. Of people. Walking towards one of the buildings, he felt a chill. He was being watched and that thought was enough to shoot a bolt of fear through him. The quietness that surrounded him felt louder than ever.

Hurrying only made it worse. The faster he went, the closer the thing watching him felt. A sense of panic rose in him him. He couldn’t let it overtake him. If he did, the thing watching him would catch him. If he was caught, he’d never get back. And he needed to get back. There was something he was supposed to do.

The door loomed in front of him. A cold radiated from it. He hadn’t felt cold until now. There was something bad behind this door. He didn’t want to turn his back on this door. Something awful would happen if he did that. Slowly, fighting panic as he did so, he backed away. He felt like he could finally breathe once he reached the place he’d fallen onto.

Keeping an eye on that door, he took in his surroundings. The courtyard was familiar. He could feel pieces of himself trickling back in. He had a name. Jaehyo.

And he’d lived in this place at one point in his life. It’d been a long, long time ago. Impossibly long but then he’d had an impossibly long life too. He trusted his memory to lead him to the right place. He’d dreamed about it for years, escaping this place and he’d mentally mapped it out completely all those years ago.

There was a gate that led to the outside. It was directly behind him. He’d left through it at one point of his life but he’d had to sneak out then. He walked slowly towards it, careful to always keep an eye on the cold, dark door. Evil lurked behind that door.

A shadow loomed over him, filling him with relief. He was almost free of this place. Again. And then a twig snapped. All the fear and panic he’d been suppressing hit him at once. Despite knowing it was a bad idea, he ran for the gate. It was so close. He knew he could make it.

He felt something brush him from behind. He wanted to look but he knew he couldn’t. If he looked, he was done for. He passed through the gate.

When he opened his eyes, he was alone again. The courtyard was gone and he was in a house. At least, he thought it was a house. He knew this building. This place was important.

Jaehyo sank onto the couch, trying to deal with the confused mess in his head. He had a sense that he needed to keep moving but he needed to figure out just what this all was. Who he was. Why he was here and why it felt like he was being hunted.

Looking around the room he was in, Jaehyo knew this place. It was so familiar in a way that he couldn’t figure out. He knew this place. He’d spent a lot of time here. For the first time, he happened to notice a picture on the wall. He walked over, pulled in by the image of the man. It was his eyes that really drew Jaehyo in. They were wild and fierce but there was a kindness in them too. Looking at him, Jaehyo had no doubts that people thought this man was scary. They only saw his outside.

This man was important. His name might not be coming to Jaehyo at the moment but this was definitely someone special. Jaehyo reached out, touching the picture. “Who are you?” He murmured to himself.

A child’s laughter echoed somewhere. It was so near and yet so far at the same time. Jaehyo turned, looking for the child but there were no children anywhere near him. In fact, there was no one around him at all. And yet, there was laughter. It sounded so hauntingly familiar too. Hearing that laugh brought a smile to Jaehyo’s face. He knew this child. He’d loved this child. That thought was as clear as the feeling he’d had about the man in the picture.

He left the room, trying to find the laughing child.

The room was dark. It smelled. Not like death and disease but it had an undeniable stench to it. And he wasn’t alone.

“Who are you?” Jaehyo asked. He didn’t need to though. He knew the answer. The dark presence that’d chased him before was here. It wasn’t evil. He wasn’t getting a sense of malice from it. Just darkness. It was watching him, waiting for something but Jaehyo wasn’t sure what.

His eyes adjusted to the dark, letting him get a better look at the shadow watching him. He saw it, recognized it. A cold chill of fear spread through him and he backed away, not stopping until he felt the wooden door beneath his fingers. He pushed on it, hurrying away as fast as he could without triggering it to start chasing him.

He was in the courtyard again. The presence was still here, still watching him. It was keeping its distance though, something Jaehyo appreciated. It was content to watch him. He didn’t know how he knew that, he just did. Besides, the cold door was still there with whatever evilness it hid lurking behind it. With the shadow nearby, the danger from the door didn’t feel quite so immediate now. It might be a funny idea but he had the feeling that if the evil broke out of its prison, the shadow would help him against it.

Jaehyo walked through the courtyard, not feeling as terrified now. He still avoided that door though. He just wanted to know why he was here. Why had he come back to this place? This was the second time now that he’d come back here. There must be something important about this place.

A young man, angry and fearful, sprinted past him. He was making his way to the gate, trying to slip out unnoticed. He had no idea what was waiting for him. There was a full and crazy future laying ahead of him.

“He’s clueless,” Jaehyo said, speaking to the shadow that was watching him. “He doesn’t know what’s to come.”

He didn’t know who was just ahead, waiting in his future.

“Am I going to see Jiho again?” Jaehyo asked. He finally remembered the name of the man with the fierce eyes.

No response. He wasn’t exactly surprised. He knew he was being watched. He just wondered why. What the purpose behind it might be.

Glancing around, Jaehyo saw nothing. Well, nothing new or different anyway. His options were limited. He went through the gate again, looking for some sort of answer.

Jiho and Yukwon were seated at the table, talking to each other. They didn’t notice him. Jaehyo was sure he was invisible to him. He could hear them talking but their words escaped him. It felt like their words were slipping through his head, flowing too fast for him to grasp them, understand them. That was okay though. Seeing the smiles on their faces was enough for Jaehyo.

Yukwon looked so young and adorable. He had been such a cute kid. This had to be shortly after the time they got him. Jaehyo fought the urge to go over there, to hug Yukwon. To kiss and hold Jiho. He wanted to touch them so badly that it hurt.

“Why show me this?” Jaehyo asked. He wasn’t alone. His shadow was back. He glanced over, fighting revulsion as he did so. The shadow was watching Yukwon and Jiho too. It was transfixed by them.

“I want to see them again,” Jaehyo said, watching his loves. “I know there’s a way out of here. I just can’t figure it out.”

The shadow shrank back. Jiho had turned to face them. For a moment, it actually looked like he saw Jaehyo and the shadow. But then Jiho turned his attention back to Yukwon, ignoring them entirely.

“Want to walk with me?” Jaehyo asked. He should probably be afraid of this shadow but he couldn’t bring himself to do that anymore. Besides, he had a strong feeling his shadow wouldn’t hurt him. They wanted the same things. Jaehyo was sure of that now.

This time, Jaehyo found himself on a street. Stalls lined the road. He could almost smell the delicious food being cooked in some of them. Almost. His nose wasn’t working. Neither were his ears.

People were everywhere. Jaehyo was alone. Even his shadow had deserted him. That realization hurt. It hurt even more than seeing Jiho and Yukwon. Mostly because he knew just what the shadow was. Who it was.

Jaehyo walked the street. It was vaguely familiar but he couldn’t place from where. The more he looked, the more confusing the situation became. This place looked like a mixture of eras. He saw sights from his childhood. Yukwon’s childhood. The modern era.

It felt like someone or something was purposefully trying to confuse him. Jaehyo was not a fan. He just wanted to go home. He wanted to see his family.

A woman stopped in front of him. It took a moment for her face to register in his head. She was so beautiful. He had lost the ability to remember her face. Until now. Tears prickled his eyes. Blurred his vision.

Jaehyo took a step towards her. He didn’t know if it was voluntary or not. Just seeing her...this whole situation was worth it just for this.

“Mom?” He asked. He knew who she was. It was just hard to believe that he was finally seeing her again. She smiled and reached for him. Her hand was cool on his arm. Her touch brought a sense of peace that just washed over him, taking away all his worries, concerns, and anxieties. As long as he was with her, nothing bad would ever happen to him. That was the magic of a mother.

She led him through the streets. Apparently she knew this place. The mix of eras didn’t even phase her. Jaehyo didn’t care. He just loved seeing her. Being in her presence. He hadn’t felt this at peace since he was a small child.

They stopped in front of a door. It was wooden with grooves in it. She placed his hand on it and together, they pushed door the open and went in. His eyes needed a few moments to adjust to the sudden darkness. The place was dark and smelled of smoke. Not the smell of an out of control fire but that of a cooking fire. His mother stood next to it, stirring something in the pot.

Something about this was familiar. It bugged him and he took a step towards the sleeping room. There was something important in there. He just knew it. His mother tugged him away. She shook her head. He let her pull him away, let her take him back towards the fire. Mother knew best. Besides, when he saw her, it took away that feeling. He didn’t have to think about anything as long as he had her.

They slept near the fire. His mother curled up next to him. She used him as a pillow, making it impossible to escape. Not that he wanted to do that. Sleeping next to her was surreal, an experience he’d longed for

The days fell into a steady routine. They walked around, never actually stopping anywhere. No one ever spoke to them. No one even waved. Jaehyo didn’t mind. He had his mother. She was the only one he needed.

A child ran into Jaehyo. He stared at Jaehyo for a long moment. Those brown eyes, so huge and innocent, drew Jaehyo in. The boy said something and ran to a man with blond hair. The man smiled at the boy. Ruffled his hair.

The two of them turned and beckoned Jaehyo to join them. Jaehyo’s mother tightened her grip on him. Jaehyo wanted to look at her but he couldn’t. He could only see the blond man with the fierce, beautiful eyes. They were hypnotizing. Something about him tugged at Jaehyo. He was so familiar in a way that Jaehyo couldn’t figure out but it hurt to see him. Hurt to not touch him. All Jaehyo wanted to do was run over there, to touch and hold him. To be held by him.

The man and boy walked around a corner, disappearing from view. Tears burned. Jaehyo tried calling out to them. He had no voice. They weren’t coming back. It felt like his heart was trying to claw its way out of his chest through his throat. He fell to his knees, completely taken by the pain. Someone tugged on his arm, trying to pull him away. To take him from those two.

He pulled himself free, running in the direction those two had gone. A mist descended upon this place. He kept running. It was hard to see. Everything was so obscured and it felt like he was on an impossible mission. That wasn’t going to stop him. Jaehyo knew that only one thing mattered. He had to find the man and the boy.

He turned down a street, not even noticing the beautiful woman crying in the street. He didn’t see her reach for him or the way she crumpled as he passed her.

His mother was dead. She’d been dead for a very long time. It’d been nice to see her, spend time with her. A mother’s love was a special thing after all. That just wasn’t his mother. She was just a piece of his subconscious that had latched onto his desire to see her that he’d carried for centuries.

He realized he was yelling. Over and over, the same names. “Jiho!” “Yukwon!” The names of the man and the boy. The ones he was looking for. The ones he was supposed to get back to.

The mist thickened. It wanted to stop him so it was choking him. Trying to trap him here. He wasn’t supposed to stay here. He needed to figure out a way home. There were people waiting for him. At least, he hoped they were waiting for him. Who knew how long he’d been here? Time wasn’t a concept here. As it was, each day made it harder and harder to remember a time before he’d come to this place.

He stumbled into a wall and clutched it for support. “Turn back,” a voice whispered in his ear. No one was near him. He knew the mist would lift if he turned around. That the heaviness in his chest would fade. He could go back to that simple, unthinking life with his mother. It wouldn’t be real but it would be easy.

He didn’t want easy. He wanted his family. The people he’d know and kept close were his family now. Jaehyo had built one from nothing. Maybe that made the pull so strong. His family was something he’d made. He’d put in all the work. Without him, there’d be nothing.

Jaehyo trudged through the mist. By now, it’d gained a tangible quality to it. He had trouble believing that it was anything other than intentional. Something was trying to keep him here. The idea was equal parts terrifying and laughable. He didn’t even know where he was. By now, the mist had grown so thick that he could barely see his own hands.

His fingers brushed against a wooden door. It felt warm and tingled under his fingers. Considering he didn’t have any real options, he opened it.

The mist was gone. Jaehyo sighed in relief. Having the world clear up was all he’d wanted. Well, that and getting home. Then he realized where he was.

It was dark, clearly night. The moon shone brightly overhead. The river gurgled softly. Peace fell over Jaehyo as he slowly walked over to the blanket. He sat down. His shadow sat next to him.

“You’re back.” Jaehyo had a smile on his face as he said the words. He’d missed the shadow.

“You found me,” he heard his own voice tell him.

Jaehyo couldn’t bring himself to look at his shadow. He knew what it was. Looking at it would be him admitting to the darkness in his heart. In himself. It was nice to have it here though. Jaehyo almost felt complete.

“Do you know how I can get back home?” Jaehyo asked.

The shadow chuckled in response. “You know what you need to do,” it said. Hearing his own voice coming from it was freaky but there wasn’t much Jaehyo could do about that. They were the same person after all.

It was true. Jaehyo knew what he needed to do. How he could get back home. Doing it just filled him with complete and utter revulsion.

“Is it the only way?” Jaehyo asked. He knew the answer already. They both knew it.

“Are you ready?” The shadow asked.

Jaehyo took a deep breath and nodded slowly. “Yeah. I’m ready to go home.” He was ready to see his family again. To see Jiho.

“You won’t be able to return here. No more seeing mother again.”

True. At another time, in another place, he would have been crushed by the thought. That was before though. This place wasn’t real and the thing that had worn his mother’s face hadn’t been real either.

“She’s been gone for a very long time,” Jaehyo answered. “Seeing her was nice but that wasn’t my mother.”

He fought himself as he turned to face himself. The shadow mirrored him. They leaned towards each other, finally touching.

 

Jaehyo opened his eyes, seeing the familiar bedroom for the first time in what felt like forever. He smiled. _He was home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ^^


	45. i get strength just looking at you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pentagon - 'Shine'

Jiho watched through the studio’s window. Kyung had a guest over. Not just any guest though. His boyfriend. The guy seemed okay, at least, on the outside. Jiho hadn’t actually spoken to the guy, just seen him through the window. So far, the guy seemed curious but that was honestly no surprise. If anything, Jiho was honestly more shocked about the fact that Kyung had even brought the guy over. He’d hesitated so much before and had seemed so uncomfortable with the idea in the past. “Change of heart,” had been what Kyung had told them all earlier when he’d warned them he was bringing his boyfriend over.

The guys had responded better than Jiho had expected. He’d figured they’d stick around, check the boyfriend out. Instead, they’d all come up with excuses to leave, giving Kyung something that essentially counted as privacy. Even though the guys didn’t always get along and they weren’t best friends, it was stuff like that that showed Jiho how much his humans respected each other.

Kyung’s boyfriend (Minhyuk, Jiho had to remind himself) was handsome. Not Jaehyo handsome but still good looking enough that the guy probably got some attention for his looks. There was something about him that seemed off, different in some sort of way, but Jiho just chalked it up to the fact that he didn’t know the guy.

A wave of...something, he didn’t even know what it was, hit Jiho all of a sudden. Kyung turned, staring through the glass. Confusion was written all over his face but it was clear that apparently whatever Jiho had felt, Kyung had felt too.

And then Jiho felt the call of blood. He’d only felt this one other time. The night Jaehyo had come back to life.

It felt like he flew to his personal set of rooms. He didn’t even remember putting in the code to his door. Jiho didn’t stop until he stood in the doorway, staring at the man sitting on the floor. Jaehyo’s eyes were closed and he had a look of peace on his beautiful, handsome face.

For the first time in a long time, Jiho let himself feel hope. He stared, afraid to say anything.

Jaehyo opened his eyes. A rich warm brown greeted Jiho. Familiarity and kindness shone in those eyes. Jiho took an involuntary step forward, unable to resist their call.

“Hey,” Jaehyo said, his voice rusty with lack of use.

Jiho crossed the room, falling to his knees in front of Jaehyo. He reached out, letting a hand rest on Jaehyo’s arm. He was still afraid this might be a dream.

“How long has it been?” Jaehyo asked. It took him three attempts to actually get the words out which was only more endearing. Jaehyo looked like he wanted to squirm away. Knowing Jaehyo, he was probably uncomfortable with the amount of staring Jiho was doing. The older vampire couldn’t stop though. Not when he had Jaehyo, the real one, here in front of him.

“You missed my birthday,” was what Jiho heard his own voice say. It came out like something a petulant child would say.

A bright smile, full of amusement, spread across Jaehyo’s face. “Did you get my present?”

Jiho nodded. “Yeah. I almost killed you when I saw it.”

“Why?” Jaehyo looked confused. “And, uh, think you could do something about these?” He shook his wrists, reminding Jiho that the chains were still there.

It hurt to get up, to leave Jaehyo’s side at this moment. Jiho got the key and sank back to the floor. He couldn’t quite believe this. What were the chances that this was actually a nightmare? He was surprised that his hands weren’t shaking as he undid the locks that had restrained Jaehyo these last few months.

“It’s been a few months,” Jiho said as he watched Jaehyo rub his wrists. “My birthday was a few weeks ago. We haven’t had yours yet.”

Jaehyo smiled. The sight probably would have made Jiho melt if he weren’t already sitting on the floor. He’d forgotten just how much he’d missed this smile. All the frustration, pain, and heartache he’d suffered through had definitely been worth it. The smile he couldn’t get enough of was going to last forever.

Jiho knew there were a million things he should be doing right now. There was so much he had to tell Jaehyo, to catch him up on. And he had to tell everyone Jaehyo was back. Jiho did none of those things. Instead, he sat on the floor, openly staring.

Jaehyo gave a little chuckle. He was nervous. Not that he had any reason to be. At the moment, Jiho was beyond content to just take this moment in. He knew it couldn’t last forever but he was going to be selfish while he could. Even without discussing it, he knew that Jaehyo was going to be busy soon. There would be things he’d want to do and eventually they’d be able to settle back into their old routine but that wasn’t now.

Jaehyo stood up, stretching. “I’m surprised I don’t look disgusting,” he said, that nervous tone in his voice.

“Sponge baths,” Jiho answered, standing up himself. “It wasn’t always easy.” Not that he would have traded it for anything. At least, not now. “I thought being clean might remind you of home.”

Jaehyo’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really?” Before Jiho could respond, Jaehyo shook his head. “Of course it’s true. Why lie about something like that?” Then he shot Jiho a sheepish smile. “Mind if I hop in the shower?”

Yes. No. Jiho wouldn’t say it but part of him was terrified to let Jaehyo out of his sight. He felt like Jaehyo could vanish in an instant. That Jiho might wake up and realize this was all a dream.

If it was a dream, Jiho wanted to live in it forever.

It took a lot of strength, more than Jiho thought he had, to nod his head. Jiho fought the urge to ask if he could join Jaehyo. He wanted to. However he could tell Jaehyo needed space. This was his Jaehyo but at the same time, Jaehyo had changed.

He was more angular now. Jaehyo moved with a smooth grace that wasn’t quite Jaehyo and yet was. Fangs peeked out of the vampire’s mouth each time Jaehyo spoke. He couldn’t stop running his tongue over the fangs. It was cute but also a clear reminded that Jaehyo had changed.

Jiho retreated to the bedroom he’d been sleeping in the last few months. Going any further than that was impossible. It’d physically made him ill to even think about going any farther away. As it was, he could barely hear the water pounding in the bathroom. But at least he knew where Jaehyo was. What Jaehyo was doing.

The water shut off. All was quiet for several moments. And then he spotted Jaehyo in the doorway.

Water glistened on Jaehyo’s pale skin. He’d always been fair. It was a natural side effect of their lifestyle. He was paler now though, almost to the point of glowing. The sparkle of water was not helping. Jaehyo was skinny, way too skinny. Jiho knew that from experience, from familiarity. It was going to take blood and a decent amount of it to bring Jaehyo back to a healthy size.

Hunger was in Jaehyo’s eyes. It was impossible to tell if it was purely motivated by a need for blood or if there was a sexual need to it too. Not that it mattered. Jiho was happy to help with both.

He motioned to the spot on the bed beside him. Not that it felt necessary from the way Jaehyo stalked over. An uncharacteristic look of danger filled Jaehyo’s eyes. Another reminder that he’d changed. He wasn’t the same person Jiho had spent centuries with. However seeing the hunger in Jaehyo, it excited the older vampire. He wanted to explore this new side.

Fangs sank into Jiho, hard and powerful. There was a knowing sense of consciousness behind them this time though. This wasn’t just a mindless feeding that’d leave him disappointed and heartbroken in the end. This was a time to be happy. And yet something about this hurt. He didn’t know why or what was causing this reaction in himself. He just knew he hated it.

Jaehyo let go. Blood dribbled from his mouth. He had worry in his eyes. Jiho knew he’d put that there. This wasn’t the same Jaehyo he’d spent the last few months with. This was his Jaehyo, the one he’d spent forever with. The same Jaehyo he’d always had.

He pulled Jaehyo back to him, licking the blood away. It didn’t take much to turn that into a kiss. Hands slid down Jiho’s sides. There was an urgent hunger in this moment that made it hard to keep his head straight.

Hands were everywhere, trying to relearn bodies they already knew. Not that it mattered. It’d been so long since they’d done this. Wasting a single moment now felt sacrilegious. An unthinkable thing.

An eternity passed by. It wasn’t long enough. Jiho knew they had more than enough time but it still didn’t feel long enough.

“Can I ask what I’ve missed?” Jaehyo asked. He looked sleepy which wasn’t a surprise. From the way sleep pulled on Jiho as well, he knew it had to almost be sunrise.

“Not much,” Jiho lied. The last few months had been busy, at least, it had been for their humans. Not so much for Jiho but he was fine with that. After all, his whole world was staring back at him right now. And besides, this moment here? Everything he’d gone through these last few months had been worth it for this moment here.

“I brought in another human,” Jiho said, continuing on. He reached over, pushing some of Jaehyo’s hair out of his eyes. “He’s a friend of Mino’s.”

Jaehyo nodded a little. “I thought I felt someone new in the house.”

“That’s probably Kyung’s boyfriend.” Then again, maybe it wasn’t. The sun was nearly up. That guy probably went home hours ago. “Yukwon…” Jiho smiled. “He’s got something to tell you.” He wouldn’t tell Yukwon’s thing. That needed to come from Yukwon himself.

“Crap…” Jiho said as he realized he still hadn’t told Yukwon. Granted, Jiho had been rather distracted but still...he had promised Yukwon. The fact that he hadn’t told Yukwon about Jaehyo yet sent a little bit of guilt through Jiho.

“Hmm?” Jaehyo sounded curious but also vaguely concerned. That little noise, the way his head cocked to the side...they were so relieving to see. This was really Jaehyo. Not that other being.

“I was supposed to tell him when you came back,” Jiho groaned, remembering his promise to Yukwon. He’d meant to tell Yukwon but at the same time, Jiho just wanted to be selfish and keep Jaehyo to himself a little longer.

Jaehyo laughed. It was such a warm, handsome sound. Jiho loved it. He wanted to hear it for the rest of his life. He _would_ hear it for the rest of his life. That thought brought peace to the older vampire, letting him know how good the future would be.

“It’s okay,” Jaehyo said. He shifted, resting his arm on top of Jiho. “I’m a little afraid to meet him and the rest of them.”

That was a surprise. The thought must have shone on his face too because Jaehyo laughed. “What You’re surprised?”

Jiho nodded. “I figured you’d want to see them right away.”

“I don’t trust myself.” Jaehyo said it in a little voice that showed just how truthful he was being right now. “Not yet.” There was a soft vulnerability in the way he admitted that. It broke Jiho’s heart. He shifted closer, resting his head on Jaehyo’s shoulder. Keeping him there.

Breaking his promise to Yukwon was hard. Jiho loved the kid. He just loved Jaehyo more. “I won’t tell anyone until you want me to,” Jiho promised. He meant it. Every word of it.

\---

Jaehyo woke up first. It was a surprise. He’d have expected Jiho to have gotten up first. They were still in the same position. A smile spread across Jaehyo’s face. Jiho looked so soft. And that softness melted some of the fear Jaehyo felt.

He was still scared. There was so much that could go wrong. He felt like he was wobbling along the edge. At any point, he felt like he would fall. Lose himself. This feeling needed to go away. Jaehyo wouldn’t be able to trust himself around any of the humans until he was back on solid ground.

Part of him knew he should bring this up with Jiho. The other vampire might understand. Maybe he even knew a way to work past it. It was scary to bring this up though. What if Jiho didn’t understand? What if this was something that Jiho had never experienced?

Besides, Jaehyo had just returned. He could see that his time chained to the wall had affected Jiho. The guy was trying not to let it show but it was so painfully clear to Jaehyo. He hated himself for being the one to have hurt Jiho. He didn’t know what he’d done to hurt him but it was clear that Jiho had been affected in a negative way by Jaehyo’s transformation.

Together forever had sounded so romantic. Now that he was on the other side of forever, it just terrifying. Life felt even more fragile now. If something happened to either of them, the other would be left to suffer for an eternity. No escape other than to follow in death but even that death would have to be planned. Old age and disease were no longer options for Jaehyo.

He’d been afraid before he turned. He thought becoming a vampire would ease all his fears. Turns out, it’d only made them worse.

Sliding out of bed, Jaehyo looked around. He’d seen this room millions of times before. It felt new now though. His eyes had changed. Colors were brighter. The difference between light and dark was clearer, more distinct.

Jaehyo quickly got dressed and quietly walked through the rest of their rooms. Looking around, it started to really sink in. He was home.

He rested a hand on the wall. The magic in the place thrummed under his fingers. It felt like the house was trying to say hello to him. This was one thing Jaehyo never understood and even now, it was a mystery to him. The house just seemed to react so strongly to him. Even now, Jaehyo was practically overwhelmed by the information the place was throwing at him.

Seven humans. There were seven here. Five were ones Jaehyo recognized right away. Yukwon, Jihoon, Kyung, Mino, and Taeil. There were practically little strings leading to each of them. Jaehyo had to fight himself not to tug on Yukwon’s. He had a feeling these strings were like the bond he had with Jiho. If he tugged on the one to Yukwon, he had a feeling it would summon the guy. Basically the exact opposite thing that Jaehyo wanted. Besides, he was far more curious about the last two humans.

Weirdly enough, it felt like there was a very faint string going to one of them. Jaehyo didn’t know him but there was a faint connection there. It was interesting and something Jaehyo made a note to ask about later. Maybe Jiho knew why that was there.

The last one felt off compared to the others. It (he) was not like the others. And that one was headed towards the bottom floor where the vampires were at. It wasn’t a direct path. The person was meandering, exploring as many rooms as he apparently could. Including the empty rooms.

Jaehyo didn’t like it. Where the other humans melted into the house, fitting like pieces of a puzzle, this seventh stood out. Disrupted things somehow.

Jaehyo kept his hand on the wall, keeping track of where the disruption went. He could hear Jiho by now. Apparently the other vampire was up.

“In here,” Jaehyo said. Though he’d been told a million times that vampires had sensitive hearing, he hadn’t believed it fully until now. Or maybe it was more like he hadn’t understood just how sensitive their hearing was.

A few moments later, Jiho emerged from the bedroom. He’d gotten dressed by the casualness of his outfit (sweats and t-shirt that clung in all the right ways) sent a clear message that he planned on staying in their rooms for the night. Jaehyo had exactly zero problems with that. All he felt like doing was dragging Jiho to the couch and continuing what they’d started the night before.

“You okay?” Jiho asked. “Hungry?”

Jaehyo shook his head. He was hungry but right now it felt manageable. “There’s someone headed here,” he said. “A human I don’t know.”

Jiho stepped closer, a frown on his face. “No one should be coming here.”

True. That didn’t mean it wasn’t happening though. The real question was why the guy seemed to be headed their way. “Who is it?” Jiho asked, standing next to Jaehyo. He reached out, placing a hand on Jaehyo.

The clinginess was cute. Jaehyo could tell it would get annoying and fast but for now, he found it cute. Jiho kept looking at him, a look of ‘please don’t let this be a dream’ on the older vampire’s handsome face. Clearly Jiho needed this right now, needed to be reassured that Jaehyo wasn’t going to vanish. Jaehyo could deal with it for now.

Jaehyo rolled his eyes in annoyance at the question though. Did the guy not listen? “I don’t know,” Jaehyo repeated. “All I know is that he’s a human who doesn’t belong.”

A frown spread across Jiho’s handsome face. “The only one I can think of is Kyung’s boyfriend. I don’t know why he’d be coming here though.”

“He’s outside the door if you want to ask him yourself,” Jaehyo replied. There was something about this guy that just felt off. Jaehyo hadn’t met him and he already didn’t like this guy.

Then they heard the sound of buttons on their keypad being pressed. It rang out, loud and clear despite being rooms away.

“Is he trying to break in?” Jiho asked, obviously confused by the notion.

Jaehyo shrugged. “I think so. Any idea why?” It wasn’t like Jaehyo knew much of the world right now after all.

Jiho kept frowning. Not a good sign. “Kyung things he might be a fan.”

The way Jiho said that told Jaehyo a lot. “You’re not convinced.” Jaehyo was good at reading in-between the lines when Jiho spoke. Then again, he had a lot of experience doing that.

Jiho shot a look towards the kitchen. The door that lead to the whole set of rooms, where their intruder was at, lay beyond the kitchen. They’d set up these rooms this way on purpose. “I didn’t meet him but I saw him last night,” Jiho replied. “He saw me and just...he had a calmness to him that didn’t fit.”

“Well I can tell you this much, I’m not getting a good feeling from him.” Jaehyo had no idea what was the right thing to do in this situation. He’d barely come back to himself and already there was this? Lovely way to start the next segment of his life. All he wanted was a little peace so he could find his bearings. Apparently that just wasn’t supposed to happen.

Jiho smiled. It was a devious little smile that made Jaehyo’s knees weak. “Is it bad I want to open the door and bring him in here?”

“It might be a way to get answers,” Jaehyo admitted. The idea didn’t sit quite right with him but he trusted Jiho. In the past, he might have debated about it with Jiho, weighing out the wiseness of the decision but right now, Jaehyo felt like he was still coming to terms with the whole having died and coming back thing. That wasn’t exactly something he did everyday. Besides, between the two of them, Jiho was far more grounded in reality right now.

Following Jiho, Jaehyo couldn’t help but trail his fingers on the walls of their home. It felt so surreal to see this place again. Already memories of the place he’d been in his own head had faded but they’d left a sense of longing for his home that was hitting him now. All he remembered was that he had needed to get home. Being here now, it filled Jaehyo with a sense of rightness that he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

The keypad was still beeping as their wannabe intruder tried combination after combination. “Too bad we never installed a camera,” Jaehyo said. One of those would be super helpful right now.

“You thought cameras were pointless and would upset the boys,” Jiho pointed out.

Oh yea. They’d talked about putting in cameras at both doors into the house and outside their quarters a few years ago. Jiho had been all for it but Jaehyo had argued against it. At the time, it had felt like a betrayal to all the humans who lived with them. Like they didn’t trust them. Right about now, Jaehyo regretted his earlier belief. He should have listened to Jiho.

Jiho opened the door.

Human. The human at the door looked so impossibly young and fragile. He was handsome in an everyday sort of way. Not short but not tall. He was the sort of person who could fade into a crowd. It might be silly but something about this human scared Jaehyo.

“Kyung’s boyfriend, right?” Jiho said. This time Jaehyo was the one reaching out, seeking touch to help ground himself. He rested his hand on Jiho’s shoulder, finding comfort in how solid and relaxed the older vampire was.

The human stared at them, clearly surprised. He looked like he might run. His heart was speeding up, the sound of it pounding in Jaehyo’s ears. “Grab him,” Jaehyo murmured. He knew Jiho would hear it loud and clear. At least, he would unless the deafening beat of the human’s heart drowned out Jaehyo’s words.

Jaehyo would have done it himself except for one thing. He didn’t trust himself. Being this near a human was hard. Beat. Beat. Beat. The human’s heart was racing by now and hearing it thump frantically was making the hunger Jaehyo had ignored earlier come roaring back to life. His fangs ached, longing for the moment when they were allowed to bite someone, to sink into flesh and taste rich blood.

Jiho listened. He reached out, grabbing the human by the wrist. It would feel like shackles, unbreakable and unyielding. Jaehyo was intimately aware of that thought he’d only received pleasure when he’d been held like that. The look on the human’s face was anything but pleasure.

“I know what you are,” the human said as Jiho lightly tugged him into the their quarters. Jaehyo closed the door, standing in front of it. Blocking it. Keeping his distance from the human and letting Jiho standing between them.

The statement was a curious one. Though his expression was fierce, Jaehyo could see the curiosity trying to peek through. It was an odd mix that only filled Jaehyo with wariness.

Jiho asked the question that both vampires were thinking. “And what might that be?”

The human smirked, clearly expecting the question and finding amusement in it. “A monster.”

Jaehyo felt fear and anger at those words. The anger was clear. Jiho was not a monster. He was the furthest thing in the world from one and hearing those words would have made Jaehyo angry regardless of his own status as a vampire. The fear came at the thought of what this might mean in general. Of what this human might be.

If his gut was right, then this was Jaehyo’s worst nightmare. The one thing that had truly scared him for almost as long as he’d known Jiho was potentially standing right here. In their home. In their personal set of rooms that not even their own humans (barring Yukwon) were allowed into.

“You’re a hunter, aren’t you?” Jaehyo asked. He knew the answer already. He just didn’t want it to be in true. Every fiber of his being knew it was true but hoped and longed to deny it for as longer as possible.

The human looked surprised at the question. Truly surprised. It made him look even younger. How young was this kid? How much experience did he have? But then the human turned it into a smug look that dashed any hope Jaehyo might have had.

“So you have a brain,” the human answered. “I’m impressed.”


	46. in the answer without an answer, we desperately write an answer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in time of King of the Zungle tomorrow! Enjoy the chapter!

Jiho looked at the human and pulled him further into the set of rooms he shared with Jaehyo. He wanted to get the human away from the door. Just in case.

“Forgive me,” Jiho said, “but I don’t think I caught your name before. Mind telling it to me again?”

Jaehyo was close to breaking. This was far too much to throw at a new vampire. The guy was trying though. He was gripping onto his control as much as he possibly could. It hurt him to watch Jaehyo struggle.

Which is why Jiho was doing his best to distract the human. To distract Jaehyo.

“If you can’t remember my name, why should I tell you?” Their human visitor replied. He spoke with a cold and callousness that was somehow surprising.

“Humor me,” Jiho said. “It’s just a name.”

This was not how he’d wanted to spend the night. All he’d wanted was to spend it curled up with Jaehyo, making up for the time they’d lost. It didn’t help that right now, Jiho was worried about the other vampire too. The young vampire was pacing near the doorway.

The human didn’t appear to be budging. Jiho tried a new strategy. He nodded towards Jaehyo and said, “he doesn’t know your name.”

“MInhyuk.” The human smiled as he said it. “Not that it’ll do you any good.”

Wasn’t that the truth? Of course it’d be a common name. If it was even the guy’s real name. A name like that felt like a fake.

“I know your name,” Minhyuk continued. “Zico. Vampire who has lived a very long time. Birthdate and human name unknown.”

Yeah, not the best thing to hear but not the worst either.

“What else do you know about me?” Jiho felt like it was important to get a baseline. From the way Minhyuk grew quiet and still, Jiho guessed that was all the guy knew. Good. And apparently he didn’t seem to know Jaehyo at all. Even better.

Jiho knew what he should do. He should take control of this human’s mind. Learn all that the guy knew and make a decision based on the information he learned. The idea filled him reluctance. This human already thought he was a monster. Taking his mind would only enforce that idea. Jiho knew that he wasn’t a monster. He didn’t want Jaehyo to be seen as one either.

“Don’t run,” Jiho suggested as he let go of the human’s wrist.

Minhyuk rubbed the body part but listened. Good. Thankfully this human seemed to have at least part of a brain. “Aren’t you going to suck me dry?” He asked. His voice had zero fear in it. He just sounded confused.

Jiho knew he shouldn’t have expected anything different from a hunter. Or whatever this kid was. He was a baby, just like most humans. Initially, Minhyuk had appeared to be hard and cold. However the longer Minhyuk stayed here, in front of Jiho, the more cracks started to appear. Maybe Minhyuk could pretend to be cold and hard but it seemed like that might not be his true personality.

“I don’t know what you’ve been told but I don’t kill people,” Jiho said. It was tiring to keep an eye on Jaehyo who seemed to be unraveling more and more as time went on. “I don’t kill.”

Well, except Jaehyo but he’d asked for it so Jiho wasn’t counting that one. “I’ve been alive a very long time. Your information on that was correct at least.”

It killed Jiho to say this. He was just so tired. Everything that had happened these last few months had lowered him emotionally. His defenses were shot. He just wanted a little peace. Some normalcy. “Stay with us for a bit,” Jiho suggested. “Watch us. Observe. Then judge.”

Hopefully the human didn’t notice the little bit of magic and power Jiho had laced into his words. Doing this was probably stupid. It could very well get him killed. Get Jaehyo killed. But Kyung liked this guy. And Jiho wanted to believe in Kyung, trust the guy’s judgement. Besides, responding with threats and violence would only bring more of the same.

Jaehyo was getting closer and closer to their human guest. Jiho knew he had to do something before Jaehyo decided to taste Minhyuk. Jaehyo was still young, still needed to learn control. If he fed off Minhyuk now, it would not leave the greatest impression.

“Stop.” Jiho hated how strong and cold his voice sounded right now. Jaehyo whined with hunger but he listened. _He listened._ That was such a relief. Jiho felt like maybe he didn’t need to worry quite so much with a responsive Jaehyo.

“My companion here is very young.” Jiho knew he had to explain the situation. This hunter needed to understand just how dangerous this was and also understand just how well Jiho had things under control. “You’re the first human he’s been around and having you here is testing his control.” He didn’t want to tell a hunter all of this but it felt like something the hunter needed to know. “He’ll get better with time but I would advise you against making any sudden movements right now.”

Minhyuk was watching Jaehyo now. Evaluating him. It was enough to make Jiho feel jealous because he didn’t like the way Minhyuk was looking at Jaehyo. “Who is he?”

None of your concern. He didn’t say it but Jiho definitely thought it. “The only person I’ve decided to turn into a vampire.”

If the hunter didn’t know Jaehyo’s name then Jiho wouldn’t be the one to tell him. Not unless he absolutely had to. Then again, all Minhyuk would have to do was ask literally anyone else in this house and he’d find out who Jaehyo was. Which also meant that Jiho would have to break his promise to Jaehyo. If Minhyuk stayed, then the others would have to be told about Jaehyo.

“No one ever said you had spawn.” The hunter’s expression turned to curiosity which was better. At least this look didn’t fuel the jealousy Jiho had felt earlier.

“It’s a recent development,” Jiho answered. “Those of us here in Seoul, we don’t take cursing someone with this life lightly.” Jiho had no idea how the only other vampire he knew about really felt but he could guess. Their maker had been the callous sort who created new vampires as he pleased. Someone who discarded them when he found a new interest. A new plaything. It was a hard thing to go through.

“Curse? That’s...not how I expected you to call this.” The human blinked as if that really had thrown him.

“No.” Jiho only had eyes for Jaehyo. The younger vampire had started sliding closer to Minhyuk. “Do not feed from him.”

Another hungry whine from Jaehyo. It broke Jiho’s heart to hear. He went over to Jaehyo, offering himself. Feeding from Jiho was no substitute for feeding from a human but it was all Jiho had at the moment.

The door closed, Minhyuk taking the opportunity to leave. This was an awful, horrible idea. Inviting a hunter (a hunter!) to stay with them was suicide. It was too late to take it all back now. As he stroked Jaehyo’s soft hair, Jiho just hoped he’d placed his trust in the right places.

\---

Once, a very long time ago, he’d probably had a family. They hadn’t wanted him. No one had. That wasn’t a surprise. No one had wanted any of them. Then came the people. They were looking for recruits. They weren’t looking to build families and they’d made that abundantly clear. They debated over him for the longest time. Apparently, he was too old for them. He decided to go with them anyways. After all, a shitty home was better than none at all.

Minhyuk. That was the name they gave him. They gave it to every boy who came with them. At least it was easy to remember everyone’s names when they were all named Minhyuk or Minseo.

The world was full of monsters called vampires. They sucked the very life and blood out of people, killing them without a care. They weren’t human and nearly everyone was oblivious to the danger vampires presented. Minhyuk found it all silly but he went along with it anyways. They were feeding him after all.

Everyone was placed into an area that they showed an aptitude for. Minhyuk had been shit at fighting. Dodging? Now that was something he could do. His reflexes were sharp. He lacked the sharp edge needed to actually kill someone though (or at least, that’s what the trainers had claimed). Research, at least doing it the traditional sort of way with books and historical records, had been plain torture.

Minhyuk’s speciality, according to the higher ups, was gathering information from people. For some reason, people just seemed to trust Minhyuk. They’d say stuff around that they probably shouldn’t.

The apartment he lived in had been picked for Minhyuk. Apparently the location was in the perfect spot to observe a place where the higher ups thought a vampire calling himself GD was staying. Honestly? Minhyuk still wasn’t convinced about the whole vampire thing but the place was nice and he didn’t have to pay for anything. Minhyuk wasn’t an idiot. If the other Minhyuks wanted to buy into this whole vampire issue, then he wouldn’t stop them. Not when he was reaping the benefits of their belief.

Meeting Kyung had been an accident.

The Minhyuks weren’t expected to have futures. To have lives outside of the one thrust on them. Minhyuk was aware enough to realize he needed something to help keep him grounded in reality. At first, he’d faced backlash from the higher ups when he’d enrolled in the university. He came up with some good excuses though. His excuses were good enough to get him praised.

In reality, Minhyuk hadn’t cared if they’d believed him. All he’d done was try to come up with plausible reasons why it made sense for him to hang around a university campus.

Making friends had been surprisingly easy. Minhyuk loved having normal people in his life. They didn’t know or care about vampires. They had the sorts of worries and concerns everyone else had. Minhyuk loved that taste of normalcy.

And then Kyung came in, crashing into Minhyuk’s life, destroying it all. Meeting him had been an accident. Or maybe it’d been fate. After all, Minhyuk had just been walking from class, minding his own business, when he’d passed Kyung who was talking about someone named ‘Zico.’

It was a name that Minhyuk recognized right away. Zico was a name that had popped up occasionally on records. Enough for the higher ups to suspect that he was vampire but not enough that he’d been confirmed as one. Minhyuk knew he should report hearing the name to his higher ups. He didn’t.

After all, this was his chance to find out the truth for himself. To find out if vampires were really real or not. It was stupid but Minhyuk kept the situation to himself. Kyung was quiet about Zico for the longest time. There were times when Minhyuk wondered if he’d really heard Kyung say the name or if Minhyuk’s mind had been playing tricks on him.

Kyung was an accident. Minhyuk hadn’t meant to develop feelings for the guy but it’d happened. Unfortunately, the closer Minhyuk got to Kyung, the more Minhyuk became obsessed with knowing the truth about Zico.

Being invited to the vampire’s home broke every rule. And stupidly enough, he hadn’t told anyone about it either. His pride had stopped him from reporting any of this to the Minhyuks. He was too afraid that some other Minhyuk would step in and figure it all out first. Besides, this was supposed to be recon. Nothing more and nothing less. He’d satisfy his curiosity and get some valuable information. It was a win all around.

Trying to break into Zico’s personal rooms had been an crazy whim. He knew it wasn’t smart but he’d seen a glimpse of Zico once already. The guy had been in a studio (at least, that’s what Kyung had called it) and he just looked so normal. There was no way the guy was a vampire.

Vampires were bloodthirsty monsters. Minhyuk had heard that all his life. But he’d just met two of them. They hadn’t exactly came across as monsters. In fact, Zico had been civil and polite. He seemed tired, weary of the world. He felt more human than some of the Minhyuks.

The offer to say and observe...it was either the smartest or the dumbest move Minhyuk could make in his life. The amount of information he could get was not an insignificant amount. Staying meant they could kill him easily. And yet, Minhyuk’s own curiosity burned to know more.

“Where’d you go?” Kyung asked when Minhyuk slipped back into the guy’s bedroom.

“Got turned around a little on my way to the kitchen for a snack,” Minhyuk answered, lying and hating himself for it. He didn’t like lying to Kyung. The guy had become someone that Minhyuk truly cared for. Lying was necessary though. It kept Minhyuk safe. More importantly, it kept Kyung safe.

“This place is big,” Kyung said. He looked like he might say something else but his phone started dinging. Kyung stared at the device, clearly curious.

“Anything important?” Minhyuk asked. Anything about me? He didn’t ask it but he wanted to.

“Zico called a house meeting. It’s in 15 minutes,” Kyung answered. “You can come if you want.”

\---

Jaehyo couldn’t stop pacing. This time his pacing stemmed from nerves. Having fed, he felt more at peace now but the thought of what was to come was scary. If he had more time, that would help.

“You don’t have to come,” Jiho reminded him. He’d said it before and he meant it. It was just that Jiho didn’t understand.

“I do,” Jaehyo replied. He had to come to this. It was a house meeting and he was a member of this house. Besides, this meeting was about him. If he didn’t go, it made Jaehyo feel like he was being a coward. Part of him wanted to see the boys anyways. Yukwon. He wanted to see Yukwon most of all. As much as he loved Jiho, part of Jaehyo’s heart longed to see the young man he’d raised.

He followed Jiho up the stairs. They stopped on Yukwon’s floor of the house. Taeil’s floor too Jaehyo remembered after a moment. He’d almost forgotten about that guy. The rest of the house was already gathered. They were talking among themselves, clearly confused and curious about why Jiho had gathered them here all of a sudden.

The talking stopped the moment Jaehyo stepped out from behind Jiho. All eyes were on Jaehyo, looks ranging from curiosity to pure shock. No one spoke for several long moments. The silence might have been deafening except the room wasn’t silent. Jaehyo could hear the thump thump thumping of each human’s heart. They were so loud. It hurt his ears.

He leaned against Jiho, trying to take strength from Jiho. it was so loud here with all these humans. He didn’t know how Jiho had been able to stand it for all these years. How he could stand it even now.

They wanted to rush for Jaehyo. He knew his boys well. He could see it in their eyes. In their body language. The thought was heartwarming. Seeing them made Jaehyo’s heart ache to hold them. To apologize for leaving them and taking so long to return.

Taeil broke the silence by cursing. That helped break the tension in the room a little as people laughed. Jaehyo smiled as he looked over the group. Mino was grinning. Kyung stared in shock, his hunter next to him watching with a passive look on his face. A guy sitting next to Mino was watching, curious. Jaehyo didn’t recognize him but something about the guy’s aura felt familiar. Taeil was grinning, cursing, and in general acting exactly like Jaehyo had expected.

The last two were harder. Jihoon looked like he might cry. Which was made Jaehyo feel like he might cry as well. Jihoon was hard to look at because he had both love and hurt on his face. Jaehyo understood why. They never had a moment with each other, one where they could say anything they wanted to. Jaehyo had been selfish when he’d told Jiho to turn him right away that night. That action had hurt Jihoon, something Jaehyo hadn’t considered in his moment of selfishness. Now that he saw the consequences, he understood how shitty that idea had been. He didn’t know what he’d do but he’d have to do something as an apology for his thoughtless action.

Yukwon. If Jihoon hadn’t already broken his heart then Yukwon would have. He had an expression that read equal parts fear and hope. The fear hurt. Jaehyo never wanted to see fear in Yukwon’s eyes, especially knowing that Jaehyo himself was the reason for it. His heart ached to hold Yukwon close, to show Yukwon that Jaehyo wasn’t angry. The last words they’d shared had been harsh but they meant nothing now.

“So this is why I called everyone here,” Jiho said. His voice rumbled through Jaehyo. Jaehyo couldn’t tear his own gaze from the boys. His boys. Funny. Throughout the years, he’d always claimed the humans who lived with them. He hadn’t thought he could get any more protective and caring of them. He’d been wrong. The emotions he’d felt before paled in comparison to the ones he felt now.

Jaehyo wanted to say something. He couldn’t though. His words were caught in his throat. He leaned further onto Jiho. The other vampire shifted, readjusting their combined weight into a more comfortable position.

“It happened last night,” Jiho said, speaking for him. “He might need time to readjust.”

Wasn’t that the truth? Jaehyo felt so unsteady right now. The world was wobbly and the steadiest thing he had was Jiho.

“I can’t believe it.” Kyung had finally come to his senses, regaining the ability to speak as he did so. He looked at Jiho. “Is that what we felt?”

Jiho’s head nodded. “I think so.”

Jaehyo wanted to ask what that meant. Apparently he wasn’t the only one curious because the one guy Jaehyo didn’t know asked about it.

Kyung explained. Or, well, he tried to. “It was this thing. I felt something. Maybe a shudder or a wave?” He paused and then went on. “All I knew was that something had changed was all different.”

Jiho nodded again. “That’s how it felt for me too.”

Jaehyo didn’t know that. No one had mentioned that to him. Granted, there hadn’t exactly been a lot of talking last night. “You didn’t mention that,” Jaehyo murmured in the other vampire’s ear.

Turning to address the room, Jaehyo forced himself to speak to the rest of the room. “I know you all have things to say to me,” he started. It was a lie. He didn’t even know all of these guys. “Please give me a little bit of time to get used to all of this.”

That was all Jaehyo was asking for.

He knew that not all of them would stay away. Yukwon definitely wouldn’t. Jihoon might not either. Jaehyo knew there were others in this house. He didn’t have the same connection with the rest of them. It made him feel guilty. He’d have to fix that in the future.

Since it was clear this was all there was, people started dispersing. Mino and the unknown guy went first. They’d tried to tug Jihoon, getting him to come with them, but the guy wouldn’t budge from his seat. Taeil, Kyung, and the hunter all left without saying anything either.

There were just four of them left in the room. Jaehyo. Jiho. Jihoon. Yukwon. The looks on both boys faces were the same. They were not going to leave.

“What am I going to do with you two?” Jaehyo asked, unable to stop smiling. He straightened up, standing on his own instead of using Jiho as a crutch. It was surprisingly terrifying not to lean on Jiho.

Jihoon practically tackled him. They stumbled backwards but at least they didn’t end up sprawled on the floor in a mess of limbs. Jaehyo laughed. He couldn’t help it. Jiho’s booming laugh joined in.

“Don’t do that again,” Jihoon said. He was so loud, his voice actually hurting Jaehyo’s ears. It was fine though. That just meant Jihoon was really here. He wasn’t a figment of Jaehyo’s mind.

Jaehyo bit his lip, overwhelmed temporarily by the closeness of the human. His beating heart, sped up in his joy and excitement, pounded in Jaehyo’s ears. Jihoon smelled delicious. Even though Jiho had just fed him, having Jihoon here and so close stirred up the hunger in Jaehyo once more.

Jiho’s familiar hand rested on Jaehyo’s shoulder. “Control,” he said in a voice so soft that Jaehyo doubted the humans heard. “Jihoon, let go,” the vampire said, his voice louder this time.

Confusion was all over Jihoon’s face as he took a step back. He looked at Jaehyo, realization dawning as he saw something on Jaehyo’s face. “Sorry, Hyung,” Jihoon said. His voice was uncharacteristically soft and apologetic.

Yukwon stepped forward. It hurt to look at him. He stopped, standing next to Jihoon. “You don’t have control.” He stated it so clearly and plainly that there was no room to hide or deny it.

Jaehyo nodded. Jiho’s hands on his shoulder tightened its grip. “Studio,” the older vampire said. “All of us.”

They wouldn’t be overheard in there. “Is this wise?” Jaehyo asked as they went in. He sat in the second chair, scooting it as close as possible to Jiho’s. It was a comfort to have him so close, both on an emotional level and on a security level. Jiho wouldn’t let him lose control and hurt his boys. Jiho would keep them all safe.

“What’s going on?” Jihoon asked, confused and wary.

“I wanted to wait until I had better control,” Jaehyo admitted. “I didn’t want to see you guys just yet.”

“Something happened,” Yukwon guessed.

Jaehyo nodded. He saw Jiho do the same out of the corner of his eye. “Yeah, something did,” Jiho confirmed. “We had a hunter try to break in.”

That got both humans attention. They both sat up straighter, clearly more alarmed by the notion of a hunter than they were by a vampire with little control. If Jaehyo didn’t already love these boys, he would have after that.

“Kyung’s boyfriend,” Jaehyo told them. “But he didn’t try to hurt us or anything like that.”

Jiho nodded. “He...looked like he was just curious.” The hesitation in his voice didn’t escape Jaehyo’s attention. “I invited him to stay here.”

Jaehyo still wasn’t sure how wise an idea that was. He wouldn’t doubt Jiho in front of the boys though. Everything around them was already unstable enough. No need to make the situation worse.

“So...why?” Yukwon asked. He looked uneasy with the idea. Jaehyo didn’t blame him one bit.

Jiho’s hand, which had come to rest on Jaehyo’s knee, squeezed. Not enough to hurt but enough to betray just how nervous Jiho was. “If staying here can change his mind, then that’s one less hunter. And having him here, well, maybe we can learn something about them.”

The last part was new to Jaehyo. He hadn’t considered that at all. Maybe if he’d been more clear-headed, he would have come up with the idea. There was an undeniable logic to Jiho’s crazy idea.

“You want to turn him,” Yukwon said, catching on. “Bring him to our side.

“That would be the best outcome,” Jiho said, unable to deny it. “This information doesn't leave this room. No one else is supposed to know what he is.”

Hell, besides maybe Kyung, Jaehyo wasn’t sure the others would even understand the gravity of their current situation. The boys were all so new and young. He didn’t even know one of them. That was a scary thought.

Yukwon and Jihoon nodded. And then Yukwon did something that Jaehyo should have expected but somehow didn’t. The question (“do you want to feed?”) was both surprising and surprisingly touching.

The thing inside Jaehyo that craved blood stirred. Jiho’s presence had helped him ignore it. Until now. With a willing body, it was suddenly a lot harder to ignore Yukwon’s pounding heart. It hurt how much he longed to bite into the human’s flesh, to drink his sweet blood.

“I do,” Jaehyo said. The need for blood made it hard to speak. He wanted, needed, to know what blood fresh from a human tasted like.

Yukwon looked at Jiho. Jaehyo couldn’t tear his eyes from the human so he missed whatever exchanged between the two of them. He could guess. It was either asking if this was okay or asking Jiho to keep him safe. Maybe it was both. Whatever it was, it barely mattered to Jaehyo as Yukwon stepped towards him.


	47. go crazy, into the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triple H - Retro Future

There was something oddly seductive about watching Jaehyo fed from someone else. It didn’t matter that he was feeding from Yukwon’s arm. It was still a sight that affected Jiho in an unexpected way. The sight of Jaehyo’s lips, sucking and pulling on Yukwon’s skin...Jiho knew what he’d do once he got Jaehyo alone.

When it became clear that Jaehyo wasn’t going to release, Jiho reached over and tapped Jaehyo on the arm. A little whine came from the younger vampire. “You need to stop,” he told Jaehyo. Not much blood had been taken from Yukwon and Jiho wanted to keep it that way.

Jaehyo reluctantly let go of Yukwon. Jaehyo had blood on his lips and staining his teeth. It was sexy. All Jiho wanted was to kiss him, to taste Yukwon’s blood on Jaehyo’s lips. He didn’t. Instead, he sat through the torture of watching Jaehyo lick the blood away.

The next several moments were painful. He waited until Yukwon and Jihoon left to make his feelings known.

Jiho locked the door behind the humans. Coming back, he sat on Jaehyo’s lap. Pinning him. The look on Jaehyo’s face was surprised at the motion.

“Though you had a rule about no funny business in here,” Jaehyo asked. He seemed amused at this turn of events.

“That was before you had your lips on Yukwon,” Jiho answered. He had a growl in his voice. The possessiveness he felt right now was surprising. But then, Jaehyo was his. Always had been. He’d never cared before about Jaehyo being close to anyone else because he knew that Jaehyo was his. Now? He wanted to make it clear to Jaehyo that this new, younger vampire belonged to him. It made no sense logically but then Jiho wasn’t exactly thinking with his head at the moment.

“You’re jealous…” the amusement in Jaehyo’s voice was clear and that only made the fire in Jiho’s belly burn hotter.

Jiho answered him by kissing Jaehyo. Faint traces of blood still clung to Jaehyo’s mouth. That drove the part of Jiho that he usually kept chained up inside himself crazy. He needed more.

A knock on the window caused Jiho to growl in frustration. Who the fuck was interrupting them? Taeil. Of fucking course it was Taeil. About that time, Jiho realize that anyone could see into the studio. Shit. Maybe it was good thing Taeil had knocked.

_Don’t fuck in the studio!_

Yep. This wasn’t Jiho’s best moment as he read Taeil’s sign. Jiho groaned, resting his head on Jaehyo’s shoulder. “We should go to our rooms,” Jaehyo said. He sounded embarrassed about it. About getting caught.

They hurried downstairs. It was hard not to do something foolish even before they reached their rooms. The fact that they’d spent the night together didn’t matter. All that mattered was this moment now.

Lips pressed softly against Jiho’s neck. The feeling was so sweet. So distracting as he tried to enter the door code. He growled, trying to get Jaehyo to stop so that Jiho could get the code right even just once. It did nothing except make Jaehyo pressed against him more insistently.

Finally the door beeped, letting them in. They made it to the couch. Hands tugged at the shirt Jiho wore. He threw it off, enjoying the feeling of now cool hands on him. There was a sense of urgency that still hung over them.

Hunger filled Jaehyo’s eyes. It was a great sight, one that sent desire flooding Jiho. He reached out, fingering the buttons of Jaehyo’s shirt. He knew what was underneath them. Had seen and touched what was underneath a countless number of times. That didn’t make it any less exciting to slowly undo them. Apparently he was going too slow. Jaehyo, who had lips pressed against Jiho’s neck, growled.

“Stop teasing,” the younger vampire added. His fangs scraped against the skin there. A shiver of anticipation went through Jiho. Having his neck exposed and kissed now was different. Before whenever Jaehyo would bite and nip him, it didn’t really do anything to Jiho. Now? Doing this had the added bonus of bringing blood into the mix. Well, more than before. Jiho wasn’t the only one making that decision now.

Jiho rested his hand on the exposed skin. He enjoyed the smooth hardness of Jaehyo’s chest. The fact that Jaehyo was under him, sending dark looks that attempted to order Jiho into action made it even better. There was still an undercurrent of urgency and it was clear Jaehyo wanted more and **NOW**. Jiho was enjoying this, slowing things down. The contrast in their wants made the situation all the more intoxicating.

“What if I don’t want to stop?” Jiho asked, murmuring in Jaehyo’s ear. “What if I want to play with you?” Because that’s all he really wanted to do. They’d rushed so much last night, blinded by lust. And while lust was clearly still present now, Jiho didn’t want to be blinded anymore. He wanted to savor the eternity they had.

“You’re an ass,” Jaehyo answered. To back up his accusation, he squeezed Jiho’s butt as he spoke.

“You love my ass,” Jiho replied. He could feel the approval from Jaehyo by how the guy tightened his grip. It made Jiho smile despite the lust of the moment.

“You talk too much,” Jaehyo shot back. He reached up, pulling Jiho down to him and kissed the older vampire’s neck. He kept biting and kissing. It was making Jiho’s head spin. Now that Jaehyo had teeth that could do real damage, it was enough to add just enough danger that was doing some great but unexpected things to Jiho.

\---

Jaehyo patted Jiho’s sleeping form. They’d ended up on the floor at some point and now Jiho was sprawled out, naked and gorgeous. He looked so good. So perfect. And he was Jaehyo’s. He never wanted to share. He never would. Not this anyways. Call himself selfish but Jaehyo was the only one allowed to see Jiho like this.

He sat up. An uneasy feeling had woken him. Something in the house felt off. Immediately his mind jumped to the hunter. Jaehyo didn’t like the fact that they had one in their house. He had always tried to make his home a safe place. Having a hunter here was a big disruption to that.

Getting dressed, he happened to see his phone by the bed. It was blinking. He looked and saw a missed call from Daesung of all people. Jaehyo decided to ignore the entirely too many messages waiting for him. He called Daesung back.

“Any news on Jaehyo?” Was the first thing Daesung asked. The question was definitely not what Jaehyo expected to hear but it brought a small smile to his face.

“You’re speaking to him.” Jaehyo heard a smugness in his own voice but found he didn’t care. He was touched that Daesung cared. It was also a curious thing. Had Jiho and Daesung been in contact? If so, that was beyond unexpected.

There was a long pause. That was not at all what Jaehyo expected. Then again, he wasn’t entirely sure that he expected. So he waited, wondering what was going on. Finally the quiet reached a point where Jaehyo could no longer stand it.

“So why did you call?” Jaehyo asked, caving in. He was curious. They had a long friendship but it was closer to a business friendship. They spoke when there was something to discuss and that was about it.

Daesung was quiet a few moments longer. Then he finally spoke. “My missing guy finally reappeared.”

Jaehyo needed several moments to even remember what Daesung was even talking about. He went cold as he remembered. Months and months ago, back before Jaehyo died, Daesung had had a guy from his house go missing. And apparently he was only just now reappearing? That did not sit well with Jaehyo. It made him feel sick.

“Where was he?” Jaehyo asked. He had no reason to think it but he couldn’t help suspect the hunter in his house.

There was another pause. It was long enough that it made Jaehyo wonder if Daesung was alone. “He was in an apartment for a couple of months Got away at one point but he thought it might be a trap. He went into the hiding until now.”

Smart guy. That sounded rough. “Any idea who had him?” The question was probably silly. There was a hunter upstairs. It seemed silly to think these two things were unconnected.

Daesung seemed to think so too. “Who do you think?”

Jaehyo cursed. He couldn’t help himself. “There’s hunters in Seoul.” He’d known that ever since he’d set eyes on Minhyuk.

“Yeah.” Daesung didn’t say anything else. Not that there was a whole lot to add. Jaehyo almost asked for more details but didn’t. He was afraid to find out too much.

This was the part that Jaehyo hated. Now that he was alone, no phone call to distract him, it was hard to not obsess over there being a hunter so close by. He didn’t like this hunter. What he represented and the danger he could be.

He went back to their living room. Jiho was still asleep on the floor. His ability to be so at peace right now was something Jaehyo envied. He wanted to have trust in everything. That all would turn out okay. Unfortunately, that was something his brain had decided was impossible.

Jiho looked so sweet and perfect in his sleep. Jaehyo didn’t have the heart to wake him.

Not everyone was still asleep though. The current of magic that ran through the house decided to tell him that Yukwon was awake. He was in his room.

Walking through the house alone was discomforting. Something about it was familiar but in a way that was wrong. Jaehyo couldn’t explain why. All he knew was that it lit a fire under him, getting him to walk faster than he normally would.

He knocked on Yukwon’s open door. The guy was stretching. Ppo was stretching out nearby, already snoring.

A smile filled Yukwon’s face when he saw Jaehyo. “Hey hyung.”

“Hey yourself,” Jaehyo answered. He stayed in the doorway, not quite trusting himself to step into the room. It smelled too much like life and Jaehyo didn’t trust himself with that yet. “What did you do to Ppo?”

A faint blush spread across Yukwon’s face. It was adorable and Jaehyo grinned. Jiho had mentioned there was something going on with Yukwon. He just hadn’t said what but that little blush was telling. Hopefully there was some good news here.

“She was playing with her friends.” Yukwon looked at the floor as he spoke, hiding his face.

“Oh?” There was clearly something quite interesting there from the way Yukwon was reacting. It made Jaehyo all the more curious. And being curious was a good distraction from hunger. He knew he’d fed a little bit ago but hunger had already started to grow in him.

“We met a person who has four dogs,” Yukwon answered. From the way he said it, Jaehyo knew the boy was still hiding something.

“Kwonnie,” Jaehyo said, drawing out the name. He felt something inside him, that string he’d felt earlier that tied them together. He knew if he tugged it that he could force Yukwon to tell him. It was terrifying. Having this much power over humans...over Yukwon. How did Jiho deal with it?

Thankfully Jaehyo was able to resist himself. It was scary to know that he might not be able to resist himself one day.

“They belong to a girl,” Yukwon started. His face was still hidden but Jaehyo could hear the smile. “Sunhye.” Apparently that was enough to open the floodgates because Yukwon started talking. He became so alive and animated. As someone who had watched Yukwon grow up, it made Jaehyo’s heart soar. Yukwon couldn’t stop grinning.

Then Yukwon went quiet. He almost seemed afraid but that was silly. He was looking at the floor now, refusing to meet Jaehyo’s gaze.

“What is it?” Jaehyo asked. There was clearly something going on here.

Yukwon didn’t look up. “I think…” he stopped as if he were afraid to continue. “This is embarrassing.”

Jaehyo grinned. That had a very nice sound to it. He knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up. It was just that he really enjoyed seeing how alive Yukwon was right now. The part of him that watched Yukwon grow up wanted to see Yukwon move on to the next stage of his life. He wanted to see what was next.

“Stop grinning,” Yukwon said with a groan. He grabbed a pillow and looked like he was debating throwing it at Jaehyo. “You already guessed it, didn’t you?”

Jaehyo shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. I can’t read your mind.”

Yukwon looked like he didn’t quite believe that. “I don’t know about that…” He hugged the pillow instead. “She’s going something special about her, Hyung.”

Wasn’t that the truth? Anyone who could tame Yukwon, who could turn his heart and make him think of a different life than this house was clearly special. There had only been one other who had made Yukwon think about it but he’d let his fears hold him back. Jaehyo got the feeling that that wouldn’t be the case this time.

“You’re thinking of leaving,” Jaehyo said, taking mercy on Yukwon.

The guy shot him an incredulous look. “I thought you said you couldn’t read minds.” He sounded so smug about that. He even had a smug smile on, clearly pleased at his attempt in catching Jaehyo in a lie.

Jaehyo laughed. He hated to ruin Yukwon’s joy but Jaehyo hadn’t been lying. He was not blessed with the ability to read minds. “I have no idea what goes on in that brain of yours.” A lie but he wasn’t going to actually say that. “I can guess though. I’ve known you since you were little. I would like to think I’ve gotten to know you pretty well.”

“I hate you,” Yukwon said with a groan and a grin.

“Love you too, Kwonnie,” Jaehyo answered, trying not to laugh and failing miserably.

\---

He wondered if they noticed him. He wasn’t trying to hide his presence. Just the opposite. Minhyuk wanted the vampires to be aware of him. The part of him that had been raised to see them as monsters relished seeing them on edge and cautious. The rest of him, the side that wanted to be normal, couldn’t help but feel connected to the vampires. By all appearances, they appeared to crave normalcy too. It was so at odds with what Minhyuk had always been taught. And yet, it fit.

Minhyuk stretched and sat up on the couch. This room, the open one in the basement, felt like it was the center of action in this house.

“You sound so normal,” he couldn’t help but say to the younger of the vampires. He’d been told this one had issues with control. That of the two, this one was more likely to snap. Zico still felt like the more dangerous one. This younger vampire felt more like what Minhyuk had been taught, that vampires were dangerous monsters only interested in one thing. Zico though...he seemed almost human. Only that predatory glint in his eyes betrayed what he really was.

The vampire’s eyes flitted back towards the human he’d been talking to.

“Why wouldn’t we sound normal?” The vampire asked. He sounded genuinely curious. Like the idea that he wasn’t normal was a lie to him. “I’m the one who raised Kwonnie.”

“Hyung!” The human called back. It didn’t sound like he was protesting the fact. No, if anything he sounded embarrassed.

The vampire laughed again. He sounded so human when he laughed. If Minhyuk hadn’t been told so, he might not even think this vampire was one of the undead. Zico could certainly pass for human.

“Don’t call me Kwonnie in front of others!” The human huffed as he came to stand by the vampire. Minhyuk caught how the vampire stiffened immediately. How he shuffled away.

“Why do that?” Minhyuk asked. “Why distance yourself?”

The vampire looked embarrassed at getting caught. He took a deep breath (curious, Minhyuk realized the vampire had been breathing this whole time). “I raised Yukwon,” the vampire said. “From the time he was a young child.”

“He’s your kid?” That was a surprising notion. A vampire with a living, human child.

The vampire exchanged a look with the human. “Kind of?” The human said, coming into the room. “I was really young when Hyung found me. Back then, I was all alone and living on the streets.”

Part of Minhyuk could related to that. He was trying not to but he couldn’t help himself. He’d once been alone too. He hadn’t been living on the streets but the home hadn’t been all that great. Minhyuk hoped his curiosity wasn’t too obvious as he went, “oh?”

The human, Yukwon, nodded. “Yeah. It was a different would back when Hyung found me. He brought me to his home and fed me. Offered me a bed if I did simple chores around the house.”

That sounded too good to be true to Minhyuk’s ears. He was used to hearing similar stories. However the people Minhyuk knew weren’t smiling as they spoke about their lives.

“He’s leaving out the part where he yelled about hating me because I forced him to take lessons where he learned important skills like learning how to read and write,” the vampire pointed out.

Yukwon laughed. “Yeah but I was a bratty kid back then. I’m okay with having learned those now.”

There was an easy air between these two. They seemed comfortable. From the way Yukwon spoke, it was clear he had lived a happy life. It was enough to make Yukwon jealous. Why hadn’t he been the one chosen for a happy life? His life hadn’t been horrible but it’d been lacking in love and warmth. Looking at Yukwon, the guy had had a life full of both of those things.

Minhyuk left the room before his anger could catch up to him.

He found Kyung. Seeing Kyung made some of Minhyuk’s anger fade. It was impossible to be angry around Kyung. He was associated with too much good and positivity in Minhyuk’s life.

“You okay?” Kyung asked, looking up from his textbook.

Minhyuk wasn’t sure how to answer that question. He wasn’t okay and he knew it. He hadn’t been in this house for long and yet they were already testing everything Minhyuk had grown up knowing. He wanted to think this was all made up. That the people here were lying. He just didn’t think they were.

“Why did you come here?” It suddenly felt important to know why Kyung was here. What made him trust these people here so much.

Kyung smiled. It was that big toothy grin of his that he only gave when he was truly happy.

“Honestly?” Kyung closed his textbook. “This place gave me the freedom I needed, to find and to be myself. Like, I love my family. They’re great.”

Minhyuk nodded. He’d met Kyung’s sister before.

“But living with them...I felt trapped in the life my parents wanted for me. I had to be the perfect son who only got top marks. Who was the perfect Christian son. After all,” Kyung’s grin got wider and sadder, “I am the son of a preacher.”

Kyung’s voice took a tone of sadness as he continued to speak. “I love music but my parents disapprove. They think it’s a hobby. They keep waiting for me to grow out of it. They don’t realize that music is part of who I am.”

“But why here?” Minhyuk asked. He needed to know. It felt beyond important.

Kyung laughed. “Because the people here are the same as me,” he said in a matter of fact tone, like it the was the most obvious thing in the world. “We all understand music, how it just is part of each of us.”

Such a simple reason. And all it did was humanize these vampires more. It was frustrating. Minhyuk wanted to find a reason to hate them. Some sort of evidence that would prove that they were indeed monsters. The only problem he was running into was that there apparently wasn’t any evidence. By all accounts, they were trying to live quiet, normal lives.

“I mean, when I first moved in, part of it was because I had a crush on Zico,” Kyung added after a moment.

Finally! Minhyuk welcomed the fires of jealousy. They weren’t much but they could start as a base to hate these vampires. That thought lasted until Kyung opened his mouth and continued to speak.

“He never paid me any attention. He was always too hung up on Jaehyo-hyung that he doesn’t see anyone else. Not romantically anyways. Besides, without my crush on him, we might not have happened.” Kyung reached out and tapped Minhyuk’s cheek. “Personally? I like you way more than I ever liked him.”

And with that, the burning jealousy that Minhyuk had felt went away. After all, it was hard to be angry at someone you’d beaten.


	48. maybe this is a duty given to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kitti B - Doin' Good (feat. Verbal Jint)

“He’s still here.”

Jaehyo looked out the studio window to see where Jiho was looking. Kyung and his hunter were talking as they read textbooks.

“How much longer are you going to let him stay here?” Jaehyo asked. It was tiring having the hunter around. The guy hadn’t done anything. Just him being here...there was no break. Not chance to fully relax.

“He’s not hurting anyone.” Jiho leaned back in his chair. “I’m starting to think he’s harmless.”

Jaehyo wasn’t so sure. He was getting a bad feeling from this hunter he wasn’t sure what would make it go away. He didn’t want to voice his concerns though. He wanted to trust Jiho because right now, Jiho was the only thing that still felt real. The only one who was able to keep Jaehyo feeling like things were solid and secure.

“By the way,” Jaehyo decided to change the subject. “There’s something I wanted to ask you.”

That got Jiho’s attention. He sat up, his gaze suddenly intense as he focused all of his attention on Jaehyo.

“Why do I feel connected to each of the guys? I don’t even know all of them but I feel these…” Jaehyo shrugged, still not sure what to call them. “I don’t know what they are. They’re kind of like strings? And they go to each human.”

Jiho smiled. “And the one for Yukwon is the most solid?” Jaehyo nodded and Jiho just smiled more. “My guess,” the older vampire said, “is that you feel tied to them because you fed from me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jaehyo felt like he should understand this but it wasn’t quite clicking in his head.

“We feed from humans, taking part of their life,” Jiho explained. “That creates a connection between them and us.”

“Why is Yukwon so much more solid than the others then?” Jaehyo could feel the frown on his own face as he asked the question. There was something here that he should get but he just wasn’t which was frustrating.

Jiho chuckled, clearly amused. He leaned over, tapping Jaehyo’s lips. “You fed from Yukwon, remember? The others aren’t as strong because you haven’t fed from them yet.”

Finally it clicked in Jaehyo’s head. And then he reached out, testing the bond that had always connected him to Jiho. That’s what the strings he felt going to each human were. They were that bond. Except all Jaehyo found when he searched for Jiho was nothing.

“It’s gone,” he murmured in horror. Jiho looked at him with curiosity.

“What’s gone?”

“The one between us,” Jaehyo replied. He reached for Jiho, to touch him. To feel that he really was there. Jaehyo hadn’t even realized that there had been nothing tying them together anymore and it scared him more than he wanted to admit. Life felt more fragile now and not being tied to Jiho made him feel like he wasn’t anchored to reality anymore. “It’s gone.”

Understanding dawned upon Jiho and he gave a sad, slow nod. “Yeah, it’s gone. When you died…” Jiho sounded like he was in pain, that these words were physically hurting him. “When you died,” he started over, “that broke the bond between us.”

Jaehyo hated himself for a few moments. It was clear that his death and transformation had hurt the ones he loved. He’d been so selfish, begging and practically forcing Jiho into this. Yes, he’d decided not to ask anymore when he’d moved back in. Yes, Jiho had been the one to offer it. That still didn’t change the fact that Jaehyo had spent years upon years ( _so many countless years_ ) asking, pleading, and arguing for this life. He’d started this.

And then another thought came to Jaehyo. One that thoroughly distracted him from his self-inflicted misery.

“The bond between us...did it tell you anything about me when I left? Before I came back here?”

Guilt flooded Jiho’s face which said everything. He slowly nodded. “I knew you were in the city,” Jiho admitted. He looked away. “And how you were feeling. Not exact emotions but I had a sense of how you were doing.”

Jaehyo frowned. Part of him couldn’t help but feel like he’d been violated in a way. He knew Jiho hadn’t used any of that knowledge. It was just...well…he didn’t like knowing that Jiho had had that sort of insight into how Jaehyo had felt. He hated himself for the suspicion he was feeling now but he couldn’t help it.

“Did you…” it hurt to ask this but Jaehyo needed to know. “Have you ever used that to manipulate me? My emotions?”

That caused Jiho to look up. Horror was written all over his handsome face. “No.” His voice sounded as horrified as he looked.

Then, even quieter, he added, “I thought about it in the earliest days. The connection wasn’t strong enough back then though so I couldn’t.”

No secrets. They’d agreed on that very simple, sometimes painful rule a long, long time ago. The honesty in Jiho’s words, the shame in his voice, told the truth. Part of Jaehyo was relieved to hear that Jiho hadn’t abused the connection between them. He couldn’t help but be horrified to learn that at one point Jiho had faced that temptation.

It was hard to say how he felt about Jiho right now. So Jaehyo did the only thing he could. “I need some space,” he told Jiho as he stood.

Jiho looked like he wanted to say something. He didn’t. Probably for the best considering the conflicted storm inside Jaehyo at the moment.

He went to their rooms. Part of Jaehyo wanted to run from here. To put some distance between himself and this house. But he didn’t trust himself to leave this house either. He was too afraid of himself, that he might hurt someone. It’d only been a few days since he’d come back to himself after all.

He didn’t know how he felt about this new bit of information. It was probably silly. Jiho hadn’t done anything wrong or bad. And Jaehyo knew that. Jiho’s honesty in admitting it told everything. He hadn’t tried to hide it and for that, Jaehyo respected the man he loved more than ever.

To be honest, Jiho wasn’t the problem. Jaehyo wasn’t even upset with the other vampire. No, what he hated were the implications this presented. Jaehyo was scared of the idea that he himself might reach a point where he could feel someone’s emotions. That he might end up using that information to manipulate someone.

Jaehyo didn’t want to think he was capable of doing that. But he was afraid. He didn’t know himself. Not anymore. There was a darkness that still lurked inside himself. He could feel it waiting for him to stumble so that it could pounce and take over him. It was terrifying to think about.

He knew he should talk to Jiho. That Jiho might understand and know what to do. In another time, when he was more at peace and not feeling so stormy inside, he’d go see Jiho immediately. Eventually they’d have to discuss this but not right now.

A hot shower helped. Jaehyo was brought some peace by the near scalding water pounding on him. He wasn’t dirty but the feeling of the water massaging him, burning him, was a nice distraction that helped clear his mind.

When he stepped out, the cool air almost made him shiver. And he wasn’t alone. Jiho was in their room, flipping through a magazine. He didn’t look up when Jaehyo entered. Good. Seeing Jiho had brought back everything from earlier. He obviously still loved and cared for the man but his brain was too jumbled. He needed more time to process everything he’d learned.

Getting dressed in pajamas, Jaehyo curled up next to Jiho on the bed. He looked over the guy’s shoulder to look at the magazine too. Music wasn’t Jaehyo’s life. Not by a long shot. But music was important to Jiho. It always had been and it always would be. So Jaehyo tried to keep up. Besides, being by Jiho now did bring a physical comfort even as Jaehyo’s mind raced.

They didn’t speak. That was fine. Words weren’t needed, not now. They just stayed like that.

\---

Jihoon laughed when Minho walked into the lounge. He was wearing a neon pink shirt with glitter writing. It made the guy look utterly ridiculous.

“Where did you get that from?” Jihoon asked between tears. He couldn’t believe someone had a shirt like that and that he was blessed enough to see Minho wear it.

Minhyo paused on his way to their room. “Might have snagged it from a girl’s closet,” he said, grinning. Which meant that Minho had definitely spent the night with a girl and had taken the shirt from her.

Kyung’s boyfriend came out of Kyung’s room. He sat down on the other couch, not saying anything. Jihoon was uncomfortable around this guy. After all, Jihoon knew what a hunter was. He’d heard the stories from Jaehyo. It didn’t put Jihoon at ease to have one so close. Zico and Jaehyo were family. Anyone who threatened them was someone that Jihoon didn’t like.

So he tried to ignore the hunter. “Are you going to give it back to her?” Jihoon asked, turning nearly all his attention back onto his best friend.

Minho just grinned and disappeared into their room. Which left Jihoon alone with the hunter. Lovely. Just what he wanted.

The guy, Minhyuk, was watching. Taking in everything.

“This place feels normal,” the hunter finally said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Jihoon nodded. He didn’t want to talk to this guy. He didn’t know how to talk to someone who wanted to kill two people who were important figures in Jihoon’s life.

“Hard to believe it’s a vampire house.”

It was hard to figure out Minhyuk’s purpose in saying that. Was he trying to shock Jihoon? Or was it a threat?

“It’s basically always been like this,” Jihoon replied. He tried to keep his voice as even and unemotional as possible.

Apparently that was enough to pique the hunter’s interest. “How long have you been here?”

Questions like that scared Jihoon. He didn’t like the hunter poking into his life. It was a dangerous thing in Jihoon’s eyes.

“Since I was in high school.” There, that answer should be safe.

The hunter stared. “How’d your parents let you get away with that?”

Jihoon did not want to get into his past with a stranger. Thankfully Minho reappeared. He was only in a towel that was slung around his waist but still it was nice to have back-up.

“You’re asking a lot of questions,” Minho pointed out. The way he said that shut down the tone of the room. It was good to have a friend who had his back. Even if nothing else went right, having a friend that Jihoon could rely on like this was a godsend.

“Going out to get something to eat,” Jihoon said, standing up. “Want me to grab you something?”

The grin on Minho’s face was very nearly evil as the guy rattled off his request. Jihoon didn’t mind. This was his friend and Song Minho was a special person. He’d saved Jihoon from himself countless times and he always had Jihoon’s back at moments like this.

Everything seemed to be fine until Jihoon ran into Taeil. There was nothing new in that. He saw Taeil nearly everyday. That didn’t make the pain any less. Tail always looked good. He seemed to be fine. And apparently he didn’t mind being alone. But then, maybe that’d never bothered Taeil. What did Jihoon know? They’d dated a short while but then were still practically strangers.

That particular thought hurt far too much.

Jihoon stepped to the side, letting Taeil pass. He thought maybe he should say something. He didn’t know what to say though. This situation was a weird one. So he didn’t say anything at all.

Taeil gave him a little nod but didn’t say anything either. It hurt in a weird way. Jihoon didn’t understand how such a simple thing could cause so much pain.

Going outside helped. The cool evening air felt nice. Sun down was still a short while off. The heat and stickiness from the day was fading. And best of all: No Taeils or vampire hunters out here. At least, none that Jihoon knew of.

Now that he had confirmation of the existence of hunters, he couldn’t help but wonder where more were. How many more were out there.

Picking up food for both himself and Minho, Jihoon almost dawdled. He wanted to take the long way home. See the neighborhood a little. He _totally_ wasn’t trying to avoid the house.

That was such a complete lie that Jihoon couldn’t even fool himself with it.

Minho and Kyung were playing a game against each other when Jihoon got back. Setting Minho’s food on the table in front of the guy, Jihoon headed back down to the kitchen. And found Jaehyo.

“Hyung,” Jihoon greeted with a nod of his head.

Jaehyo looked up form where he was wiping the counter. He seemed almost embarrassed about it. “Hi Jihoonie,” he answered.

“Why are you cleaning in here?” Jihoon asked, sitting at the table with his own food. He started pulling containers out. “I’d offer to share but…”

Jaehyo laughed. It was a warm and happy sound. Almost like sunshine. “The sound of food doesn’t sound appetizing to me anyways.”

“Why are you cleaning?” Jihoon repeated. Jaehyo had never been the best at cleaning so this was a surprise.

Jaehyo seemed to blush. It was hard to tell though. “It just seemed like the right thing to do.”

Jihoon decided not to even ask anymore. “Everything okay with you?” It seemed better to just change the subject instead.

The look on Jaehyo’s face said a lot. “It’s hard. This whole life thing.” He paused in his cleaning. “I don’t know what to do now.”

Jihoon could understand. At least, he could in part. It was hard to know what to do now. Life wasn’t exactly going perfectly right now. His ex, who he still cared for, was living here. And Jihoon had been the one to tell Taeil to stay. It had been an incredibly stupid move on Jihoon’s part.

“What about you?” Jaehyo asked. “Zico told me a few things but not much.”

The real question was what and how much Zico had told Jaehyo. Did he dare ask? Jaehyo would be one of the most understanding. But talking about feelings and relationships were so embarrassing. Jihoon decided he’d rather eat. Maybe one day he’d ask for relationship advice (or whatever it was he needed). That wasn’t right now.

\---

Minhyuk knew what he should do. It’d been almost a week since he’d been asked to stay in this house. The week had been an interesting one. He’d seen a lot. Enough to doubt that these vampires would let him live. Except he was also fairly sure that they would.

These vampires were weird. They didn’t seem to be the malicious sort at all. The people, and vampires, here were generally open and friendly. The only one Minhyuk had even sensed a little negativity from was the human named Jihoon. No idea why but the guy seemed odd anyways so Minhyuk tried to not let it bother him.

He should rat them out. Tell everything he’d seen. That he had heard. He didn’t want to. And maybe that’s why he’d asked these two to speak with him.

They were in Yukwon’s room. It’d seemed to be the most private place in the house. Minhyuk sat on the empty bed. Yukwon was on the floor, playing with a rather adorable puppy. Jihoon sat in a chair by the closed door.

“You’ve been here the longest,” Minhyuk said, breaking the quiet. He’d figured out that from all he’d seen and heard. And these two knew about him. It’d taken a couple of days to piece it all together but he’d managed to figure out that much.

The other two shared a look. Then Yukwon said “we have” in a cautious tone. They didn’t trust Minhyuk. He didn’t exactly blame them. He wasn’t entirely sure he trusted himself right now. Not with how busy and mixed up his head felt. But that was why he’d wanted to speak with these two.

“Why have you stayed so long?” Minhyuk asked. He hadn’t mean to blurt out that particular question so early but it was the thing he was most curious about anyways.

“Where else would I go?”

“This is my home.”

They spoke in unison, each giving their own answer. And yet Minhyuk got the feeling that the answers were true for both of them. The responses were curious and only made Minhyuk want to know more.

“How is a place where vampires live a home?” That was the part Minhyuk didn’t understand. How did people live somewhere with monsters that wanted to consume them?

Yukwon was the one who answered. “I’ve lived here since I was a child.” Minhyuk didn’t know how to respond to that. He’d heard it before but there was a cutting honesty to it that was jarring. Thankfully, he didn’t have to respond because Yukwon kept talking. “Jaehyo-hyung found me and brought me here. He took care of me. Raised me like I was his own child.”

Jihoon nodded. “My story is similar.” He looked unhappy.

Yukwon smiled at the younger guy. “Yeah, it kind of is, isn’t it? Except it was Zico who found you.”

Jihoon laughed but the sound was bitter. “Yeah.” Then his voice and expression softened. “Jaehyo-hyung was so mad about that.”

“Why?” The question slipped out before Minhyuk could stop it.

Yukwon answered. “The rule here is no children. And Jihoonie here was just young enough at the time to count as a child.”

“I wasn’t a child,” Jihoon grumbled. The way he said it made it clear that this was an old issue. It also made him sound like a petulant child. “I was a teenager.”

“You were still in high school,” Yukwon pointed out.

“I graduated!” Jihoon shot back.

The back and forth bickering between the two reminded Minhyuk of a pair of brothers. Which was an interesting thing because it was clear that the two weren’t actually related. At least, not by blood. Brothers in spirit though. Minhyuk was a bit jealous. He’d always been alone. No one among the Minhyuks had ever been like this with him. None of them had ever formed this sort of a brotherly bond with him.

Minhyuk leaned back, watching the two of them. They seemed to have forgotten about him. He found that he didn’t mind. So many times in his life, he’d seen similar scenes. And they had burned. Jealousy had always struck him. Except now. This time...there was something different about this. As crazy as it sounded, Minhyuk didn’t want to take their happiness for himself. No, he just wanted to share it.

The feeling was a strange one. Minhyuk was a selfish guy. He knew that very well. He had no qualms about admitting that. Seeing these two, how they got along, made Minhyuk not want to be selfish.

He knew in that moment he couldn’t tell the Minhyuks about this place. Minhyuk wouldn’t be the one to ruin the happiness here. He wanted it for himself too much. It was a crazy realization. This was not what he’d imagined when he’d first stepped into this house.


	49. don't give me those scared eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VIXX - hyde
> 
> WARNING: Some dark stuff gets talked about in this chapter 
> 
> -

It was so impossibly hard. Jaehyo was using every single ounce of his control to not bite into Jihoon. The guy had ambushed him, practically tackling him with a hug. Jihoon’s heart was beating so horribly fast. He smelled delicious. All Jaehyo wanted was to sink his fangs into the human. To taste him.

He pushed Jihoon away. A little rougher than he had wanted to but it was better than taking Jihoon’s life.

The expression on Jihoon’s face was hurt. But Jaehyo couldn’t let that bother him. Not when he was fighting himself. The new vampire hugged himself tightly. If he were still human, he’d have bruises.

The darkness inside Jaehyo longed to taste Jihoon. His jaw ached with need. Jaehyo clamped down so hard he thought his jaw might crack. He didn’t want to hurt Jihoon. The human was his. He’d helped shape this young man. The part of him that had cared for Jihoon for years was fighting against the part that wanted to drain Jihoon.

Jaehyo shut his eyes, trying to block out as much as possible. He was afraid of himself. Afraid that if he got distracted, the darkness would take over and make him hurt Jihoon.

Arms, cool and strong, locked around Jaehyo. He almost let himself relax in them. Fear that the darkness would prey on him stopped Jaehyo. A voice rumbled through Jaehyo but he knew it wasn’t his own. He was too afraid to listen, let alone speak.

Lips pressed against the back of Jaehyo’s neck. Only one person did that. Jaehyo leaned back against Jiho’s solidness. Letting him have the strength to handle them both.

“You need to feed, my love,” Jiho said, his voice shaking. He was scared. Jiho was scared. How close had he come to losing control? Jaehyo found he didn’t want to know. He was probably a coward for that but he found he didn’t care.

Jiho still held on tightly. Trusting the guy, Jaehyo opened his eyes. They were alone now. No Jihoon here. The kid was smart. He’d probably left the moment Jiho had shown up.

“Feed me then,” Jaehyo replied. The darkness in him didn’t want to feed from Jiho. There wasn’t the same sort of satisfaction in feeding from Jiho. He would do it though. Feeding from Jiho was safe. It kept everyone safe and that’s all that mattered.

Jiho shifted, bringing his wrist to Jaehyo’s mouth. Pressing his teeth into Jiho’s skin, Jaehyo bit. It felt like forever before the sweet taste of life started to filter in. Getting life from Jiho was frustrating. He had so little to give and his body didn’t want to share. Tasting Yukwon, feeding from him, had been such a satisfying experience.

Letting go, hunger still pained Jaehyo. It was duller now. Not as terrifyingly painful. He might be able to function. Jiho still held him. Clearly he was still feeling uneasy. That wasn’t exactly a comforting feeling.

Fear filled his voice. “How close was I?” Jaehyo didn’t want to know. And knowing wouldn’t help any either. At the same time, he knew he needed to know.

Jiho’s hand gripped tightly but he didn’t actually respond. That was enough to tell Jaehyo everything he didn’t want to know. The news hurt and scared him. It was tempting to run and hide. To stay away from everyone.

A knock on the doorframe got their attention. It was Jihoon. The look on his face was like a child who had been scolded. He seemed afraid and that scared Jaehyo more than anything else. The idea that one of his boys would fear him broke Jaehyo’s heart.

“I’m sorry, Hyung,” Jihoon said. His voice was small and broken which just made things worse.

Having Jihoon so close was painful. All Jaehyo wanted was to feed on the guy. Taste life.

A hungry whine escaped from Jaehyo. Jiho murmured soft nothings in his ear. He was trying to calm Jaehyo down. Fluttering filled Jaehyo as feelings of love and gratitude hit him. They helped a lot. They helped Jaehyo feel like himself again.

“Jihoon, go back upstairs,” Jiho’s voice said in Jaehyo’s ear.

For a moment, Jaehyo thought about protesting. About telling Jihoon to stay. He didn’t. Thought he might feel okay for this brief moment, Jaehyo wasn’t sure how long this would last. He was afraid of himself now.

Once Jihoon was gone, Jiho pulled him into the nearest room. It was Taeil’s. Thankfully the guy was out so it was just the two of them. The room was cleaner than Jaehyo had imagined it’d be.

Colorful fish swam in a small tank. Jaehyo found himself drawn to them. They made him feel calmer. “Think we could get some fish?” He asked as he followed the path of one fish in particular.

Jiho gave a quick, half-hearted chuckle. He didn’t put his whole self into it like he normally did. “You almost lost control there.”

Yeah. Jaehyo hung his head in shame. “I know.” He didn’t want to admit it but there was no point in trying to deny it either.

“Are you okay?” Jiho asked. He stood by the door. Jaehyo wasn’t sure who Jiho was trying to protect.

Jaehyo didn’t know how to answer that. So he went with honesty. “Alone in here, yes. But out there...when Jihoon was so close…” Jaehyo shuddered.

“He came out of nowhere,” Jaehyo went on. “It surprised me.” Maybe if he’d had more warning, Jaehyo could have mentally prepared himself. He doubted it would have helped.

“How hungry are you?” Jiho’s voice got harder.

Jaehyo rested his head against Taeil’s wall, staring at Jiho. “Starving,” he answered in a soft voice that sounded broken even to his own ears. “If I feed off you, it barely makes a dent in it.”

The look in Jiho’s eyes softened. Got sadder. “Oh Jae…”

Hearing and seeing Jiho in pain hurt. They’d been together too long. When one hurt, the other shared it. Jaehyo turned away, unable to share the pain. It killed him to be selfish but he had to be.

A knock on the door interrupted them. Without even needing to check, he knew it was Taeil.

“You two better not be fucking on my bed!” Taeil’s voice added a few moments later.

Laughter filled the room. It helped break the tense feeling that had filled the room. Jiho stepped away from the door, opening it to reveal Taeil on the other side.

“Yukwon said you were in here,” Taeil told them as he walked into his room.

“Sorry,” Jaehyo apologized. Not that he’d been the one to bring them into this room.

Jiho was looking at Taeil though. It was hard to read Jiho’s expression in this moment, even with all of Jaehyo’s years of experiences. Taeil seemed to realize that Jiho was staring too because the human frowned. “What is it?”

“Would you be willing to feed Jaehyo?” Jiho asked. It was a logical question and yet it still surprised Jaehyo. Taeil didn’t seem as surprised though because he shrugged.

“I don’t see why not.” Taeil started rolling up his sleeve, revealing a spot on his inner arm by his elbow. A healed bite mark was already there. Clearly that was where Jiho fed.

Seeing the skin, having Taeil offer himself, was enough to make Jaehyo’s head spin. He stepped forward, unable to stop himself.  
Taeil was full of life. The feeling of life flooding Jaehyo, calming the dark storm that kept craving blood. Taeil tasted so sweet and delicious. _More_ the voice inside Jaehyo demanded. Jaehyo blocked it out. Letting go of Taeil hurt. All Jaehyo wanted was more. Expect he knew he couldn’t take more. Not without harming Taeil.

\---

For the first time since he’d come here, Jihoon was properly scared. He’d never seen Zico like that. He’d never thought Jaehyo would act like that. And yet, the look in Jaehyo’s eyes hadn’t been kind. It’d been the look of a monster.

He was sitting outside, hoping the cool night air would soothe and cleanse the troubled feelings he was having right now. It wasn’t really working.

Zico walked out, joining him. The vampire sat next to Jihoon which brought only a little comfort. “Jaehyo’s fine now,” the vampire saide.

“I’ve never seen a look like that before,” Jihoon admitted. His voice shook. He was scared. There was real, true danger here. Logically he’d always known that. He’d just never come to terms with it until tonight.

“He’s not been eating enough,” Jiho replied. “And when you surprised him, it triggered his hunger.”

In theory, that made sense to Jihoon. He understood it but he’d never seen it. Zico had such good control. So much practice. The fact that Jaehyo didn’t have that same level of control had been impossible to comprehend. Until tonight.

“I’ve never seen him look like that.” Jihoon was shaking. He could feel it.

“Me neither,” Zico admitted. “But he’ll get better with time and practice.”

He put an arm around Jihoon. It brought a little more comfort but not much. Then again, there wasn’t much comfort that could be found when you were suddenly reminded of your own mortality like Jihoon had.

\---

Jiho paused in the doorway of their rooms.

Jaehyo looked awful. He was beating himself up for earlier. Jiho hated seeing Jaehyo like this. He understood it though. Sitting down next to Jaehyo, Jiho put his arm around him and pulled Jaehyo close. It said a lot that Jaehyo didn’t try to fight it. Fight him.

“Jihoon’s fine,” Jiho said, trying to reassure the love of his life. “He understands what happened.”

Jaehyo didn’t respond. At least, not verbally. He just gave a little nod. Somehow that was more heartbreaking than anything else from this night.

Jiho pressed a little kiss against Jaehyo’s forehead. He wished he could fix this. That he could make it alright. That was not a power that Jiho possessed. He couldn’t change the past. He was a vampire after all, not a time traveler.

But he might be able to make things a little more manageable. “When I was a new vampire,” Jiho started, “my life was very, very different.”

That was an understatement and they both knew it. The two of them were relics of the past. And maybe that was part of the reason why the bond between them was so strong. They understood each other in a way that no one else could.

“I lived in an estate with several humans, including my own mothers.” This was all information he’d told Jaehyo before. “And the man who changed me.”

Jaehyo shifted. He was silent but listening. That was a good sign. “I’ve told you before but he wasn’t a kind man.” Jiho felt a cruel smile grace his lips as he spoke. He was glad Jaehyo wasn’t looking at him at the moment. This wasn’t a face he wanted Jaehyo to see.

This was a side of himself that JIho had been trying to ignore centuries. For Jaehyo’s own sake, he couldn’t do that anymore.

“He had my brother and my mother. I couldn’t escape that place.” Jiho took a deep breath. “There were other humans too.” Humans like Taewoon.

It hurt to talk about this. Jiho stroked Jaehyo’s arm. He wasn’t trying to comfort Jaehyo. No, this was all for Jiho himself. “My maker was cruel,” Jiho repeated. “But he had moments where he played at kindness.”

They hadn’t been kind at all. Just cruelty in another guise.

“I was young then.” Jiho swallowed hard. He’d tried so hard to block these particular memories. “The man…” No. No, he couldn’t start there. Jaehyo wouldn’t understand if started there.

Jaehyo seemed to understand because he reached over, resting a hand on Jiho’s thigh.

“I was young,” Jiho repeated. “I’d gotten back my sanity but the hunger...I was so hungry. And my maker decided he’d be kind to me. That kindness…”

“I didn’t know her name. She was someone my maker had brought in while I was being turned.” Her screams still haunted JIho. He could hear them if he let himself. “My maker told me to take my fill.”

A shudder went through Jiho. He couldn’t help it. “I drained her.”

Jaehyo turned to look at him. Horror and pain filled his face. Jiho wanted to turn away. The shame he felt was greater than anything else he’d felt in his long life. He couldn’t look away though. Jaehyo needed to see this. He needed to understand that he wasn’t alone. That Jiho understood.

“Oh Jiho.” Jaehyo didn’t say anything else. Which was for the best. It wasn’t like Jaehyo’s pity could change the past.

He didn’t want Jaehyo’s pity. Unfortunately, that’s what Jiho had. The past was a scary place, one Jiho didn’t want to dwell on.

“My family...my mother,” Jiho started and stopped. Now that he’d started to talk about his past, it all wanted to come out. And that past wasn’t good.

Jaehyo must have read the panic and horror that Jiho felt because Jaehyo reached up, placing a finger over Jiho’s lips. Telling him that he could keep his secrets for another time.

And that was why Jaehyo was so great. He understood Jiho perfectly. No one else understood him. And JIho was positive that no one else would ever understand him so well. They’d shared so much of their lives and they’d started this path together back when they’d been so incredibly young and vulnerable.

“Have I ever told you just how much I love you?” Jiho asked.

That earned him a grin. “Yes, you’ve told me many times,” Jaehyo answered. “You’re welcome to tell me again though.” He twisted around until he was facing Jiho. “Now, you going to tell me?”

A smile filled Jiho’s face at Jaehyo’s words. The cockiness in Jaehyo was a nice change of pace. He loved his kind Jaehyo. The sweet man who had taken his heart. But a cocky Jaehyo, one who showed an attitude, was an exciting change of pace.

They were still in their rooms, stretched out on the floor. The rug was soft under Jiho’s bare skin. Above him, Jaehyo was tracing lines in his skin. A sense of peace filled Jiho. He hadn’t expected this as a result of sharing his past, even just a small part of it. It made him want to share more.

“My life has been long,” Jiho said.

Jaehyo laughed. “I know that. I’ve been with you for most of it.” 

Which was true. They’d spent centuries like this. But this was different too. Because now Jiho didn’t feel so trapped. He had lost a weight that had been trapping him.

“My family was me, my brother, and my mother, back when I was human,” Jiho said. He couldn’t help the sense of sappy nostalgia that he felt right now. So he was giving in to it. “And then my brother was turned.”

Jaehyo stopped the motions with his fingers. He seemed to realize there was something to Jiho’s voice. “You’ve told me before,” he said, voice soft and gentle.

Jiho looked into the warm brown eyes of the other man and nodded. “We spent years waiting for Jiseok-hyung to return to us. Me and my mother.”

“Except he never came back,” Jaehyo finished. “Instead, he died after eight years.”

“I killed him.” As soon as he said those words, Jiho felt calmer. More at peace. He hadn’t expected to feel this way after saying those words.

Jaehyo had sad eyes but he didn’t seem surprised. Knowing him, he’d probably put it all together already. Jaehyo was a smart guy after all. He was a blessing disguised as a man.

“Mother went to see him one night.” Jiho closed his eyes. He’d tried so hard to block that night out. All these years, he’d tried to forget but he couldn’t. Not completely. “The door to his room had a window in it. There were bars but that was it.”

Safety had been different in those days. Then again, Jiho’s maker hadn’t been all that concerned with human life.

“She got too close. It might...I think it might have been his birthday.” That sounded right. She’d been so sad. She’d been obsessed with Jiseok right before she died. Jiho could remember how hurt he’d felt. He might have been an adult by then but he was still his mother’s son. He’d still longed for her love and attention.

“He hurt her, didn’t he?” Jaehyo asked.

“Drank her dry.” Jiho barked out a laugh that hurt his throat. “For a moment, I wondered if it’d bring him back. It didn’t.” Which might have been a kindness. At least Jiseok would never have to live with the knowledge that he’d killed someone he loved.

“I was angry with him when I did it. So angry.” Jiho took a deep breath.

Jaehyo’s eyes were still so sad. He smiled but it was sad. “You regret it.”

\---

It was clear that Jiho regretted it. The sight of him now was heartbreaking. All this new information was more than Jaehyo had ever been told before. And he couldn’t be happy about this. Not when it was clear that the past had hurt Jiho so badly.

This had all happened before Jaehyo had even met the guy. There was nothing Jaehyo could do about it at all.

So he did the one thing he could do. He bent down, kissing Jiho. “Thank you.” Because learning all this was a gift. A horrible gift but a gift nonetheless. He wasn’t alone in this struggle to become himself. Jiho had gone through this himself at one point.

Jiho didn’t respond. He just laid there, eyes closed.

Getting up, Jaehyo got dressed. He wasn’t sure the purpose of it since it was nearly sunrise. It felt right to get dressed though. The motions of life were familiar. In a moment like now, they were oddly comforting.

“You going to sleep on the floor?” Jaehyo called out as he headed for their bed.

\---

Jihoon was trying not to freak out. The whole thing with Jaehyo had happened hours ago. He’d never seen something like that and he never wanted to be that close to death again.

A knock on the door made him look up. Taeil stood there, a bottle of soju and some glasses in hand. He stepped out, taking a seat next to Jihoon. “Thought you might appreciate a drink,” he said. There was a sort of kindness to his voice that Jihoon appreciated.

“Thanks,” Jihoon said. He poured a glass for each of them. “So, did you see?”

Taeil shook his head. “No, just the aftermath. Zico took him into my room. Had me feed him.”

Now that was a surprise. “He looked like he was going to kill me.”

“He’s a vampire,” Taeil pointed out. “They both are.”

Jihoon chuckled. “Yeah...guess that never really set in until now. Until that.”

A silence fell over them as they drank. There were times when talking and words just messed everything up. When drinking was the only logical solution.

“Can I ask something?” Taeil asked once they’d drank half the bottle.

Jihoon gave a little nod. Having alcohol in his system helped calmed the nerves he’d had earlier. He was still freaked out but at least he wasn’t shaking now.

“What even happened?”

That was the question. “I got excited when I saw Jaehyo-hyung.” Starting at the beginning was the simplest part. “There was a present on my bed earlier from him.”

“Must have been some present,” Taeil said. He poured them both another glass.

Jihoon laughed. “Yeah, it is pretty great.” A ticket to a Sandara Park event. “My favorite singer’s Dara of 2NE1. He got me a really good ticket to an event she’s doing.”

Maybe he should have been embarrassed to say this out loud. And to Taeil of all people. Taeil was the sort of guy who was cool. He didn’t care about pop stars. But Jihoon decided that he no longer cared. If Taeil thought he was goofy or childish, it didn’t matter. The thought was freeing in a way. Instantly Jihoon felt himself relax.

“At least you know better than to do that in the future.” Taeil sounded like he was actually trying to be kind. Talk about weird.

Jihoon couldn’t get enthused about that though. Mostly because of the what ifs that were plaguing him. What if he forgot again? What if he wasn’t careful He wasn’t used to being on his guard here. There’d never been a need for it. Now though...this house had changed.

The one good thing? It didn’t hurt to have Taeil so close right now. In fact, him being here actually helped a lot in a weird sort of way. Even weirder, Jihoon felt more relaxed not that he didn’t care what Taeil though. Up until now, being alone with Taeil like this would have hurt.

Jihoon knew he wasn’t over the older guy. He still had feelings. That’s why it hurt so much to see Taeil go out so often. To see Taeil go out on dates. And the whole thing was frustrating. Jihoon knew he shouldn’t care so deeply. But he did. He’d fallen for this guy and hard. Maybe things had ended but feelings...feelings weren’t so easily turned off. Not for Jihoon anyways.

He wished he had someone he could talk to about all this right now. Someone who would listen and not judge. Who could understand the confusion and pain in Jihoon’s heart.

He wanted Jaehyo. Except Jaehyo...Jaehyo had honestly terrified him and Jihoon wasn’t sure he felt safe around the guy now. It sucked, having that sense of safety gone. However talking to anyone else was just too weird. Jaehyo was just enough of a big brother and mentor figure in his life that Jihoon had always found it easiest to go to him.


	50. i’m gonna do something outrageous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dreamcatcher - Chase Me

Kyung was stretched out on the floor. A puzzle was in front of him but apparently it’d put him to sleep. He was wearing his glasses. It was the cutest thing Minhyuk had seen in a long time. He wanted to save this sight forever. So he did the only sensible thing. He took a picture.

Before he could do anything else, his phone rang. **[Unlisted]**. That only meant one thing.

“Hello,” Minhyuk said, answering. He knew how pointless it would be to ignore this call.

“Have you forgotten yourself?” A cool voice asked in response. It was almost robotic. Only the sharp edge of anger hinted at it belonging to a human.

They knew he hadn’t been by the apartment in a week. Crap. He knew they’d notice his absence eventually. He’d just wondered how long they’d take. It had actually taken a little longer than he expected. He’d almost started to relax.

“I’m on vacation,” Minhyuk lied. They’d messed up, giving him ample time to think of a plausible story. It was actually kind of true too. He was taking a short vacation from his normal life. “I’m with a friend.”

“The one you’re dating?”

Not a surprise. Kyung had been over to his place numerous times. Of course someone would have figured it all out even though Minhyuk had tried to keep Kyung as anonymous as possible. He just hoped they didn’t know Kyung’s name.

Kyung. He looked so innocent right now. So cute and precious. Just seeing him made Minhyuk’s heart feel lighter. Like the world might not be such a depressing place. This was a dangerous trap. Minhyuk recognized it. He just couldn’t stop himself. Kyung was such a good presence in his life. Kyung was saving him from himself.

It made Minhyuk want to take care of Kung. To protect him and his bright smile. Except apparently the only real danger in Kyung’s life was Minhyuk himself. These vampires certainly didn’t seem to be dangerous.

“Yes,” Minhyuk confirmed. He might as well. They already knew. It would only look worse if he tried to hide or deny it.

“Are you letting yourself get too distracted?” The question was probably meant to sound innocent. However Minhyuk heard the threat in that question.

A cold chill went through Minhyuk. He looked at Kyung. A soft snore came from the sleeping guy. Minhyuk didn’t need to be told explicitly. He knew from experience that they’d hurt Kyung. After all, they’d kept a guy in Minhyuk’s spare room. And they’d hurt that guy.

Minhyuk realized he had never even learned the mystery guy’s name. He’d done it on purpose back then. Getting involved with a hostage just hadn’t sounded smart. The less he knew about the guy, the better. At least, that’s how he’d looked at the situation. It was the only way Minhyuk could sleep at night.

Unfortunately, Minhyuk had a weakness. Kyung. And that weakness was very known which didn’t exactly leave Minhyuk with tons of options.

The call ended. Minhyuk was left staring at his screen. He sat down, needing the solidness of the floor. Kyung was so close but Minhyuk was afraid to reach out and touch him. He didn’t want to wake Kyung. Not right now. Not when Minhyuk was too concerned that his own life was going to hurt the guy.

It was the middle of the afternoon. And yet Minhyuk no longer felt safe. Going to his apartment wasn’t safe. At best, his lie brought him another day, two at most, of freedom before they came looking for him. Before they came looking for Kyung.

Running away wasn’t an option. Even if his pride let him stoop that low, Minhyuk knew it was pointless.

Kyung shifted. A soft yawn came from him. It didn’t take him long to wake up from his nap. When he noticed Minhyuk, a goofy smile lit up his face. “Are you watching me sleep?”

Minhyuk nodded. He’d been caught anyways. “You drooled.”

Kyung wiped his mouth. “Is everything okay?” He asked after several moments. “Something seems off with you.”

Now was the moment. Tell Kyung everything or vow to keep this all a secret. Keeping it a secret would certainly be easier. Less shameful too. But secrets wouldn’t keep Kyung safe. They just put Kyung in more danger. Minhyuk didn’t want to say anything. He picked at his leg, pulling invisible pieces of fluff off his pants. He knew what he should do. He was afraid though. Everything that had made his life good this last year was in danger.

Kyung knew about vampires. At least Minhyuk wouldn’t come off as a total nutcase. No, he’d just look like a manipulative traitor. This wasn’t where Minhyuk wanted to be. He could see now that he had always been heading to this point though. No getting around that.

“I’m sorry.” it seemed to be the best place to start. He had a lot to apologize for. “My life...it isn’t what you think it is.”

Kyung groaned. “You’re from a gangster family, aren’t you?”

Minhyuk actually needed a moment to stop and absorb that one. He had to admire the brilliance in it as a possible explanation. Kyung was wrong but it was actually a plausible thing.

“Not quite,” Minhyuk answered when he noticed that Kyung was still looking at him. He really didn’t want to say the next part. “I have to tell you the truth about me.”

Kyung looked like he didn’t believe him. “You know, that not helping the whole ‘from a gangster family’ idea,” he pointed out.

Minhyuk chuckled. He couldn’t help it. “No, no gangsters for me.” He paused for a moment. “I actually don’t know my family…” That was something he’d always known on an objective level. The reality of it had just never sunk in until now.

“When I was born, I was given up,” he tried to explaining. “No mother. No father.” By this point in his life, Minhyuk was used to the reality. It didn’t bother him. At least, that’s what he told himself and could usually get himself to believe.

Kyung’s eyes went soft. They didn’t hold pity. But they were sad to hear about this part of Minhyuk’s life. Kyung looked like he was going to say something so Minhyuk spoke first. “I was taken in by a group when I was kid. They...they taught me about certain things in this world.”

“Thinks like what?” Kyung asked. He was growing curious. Hopefully that curiosity would keep him from getting angry or upset.

There was only one way to answer Kyung’s question. With the truth. “Vampires.”

Kyung went very still. He was staring again. The look in his eyes was cooler now. Harder. Minhyuk hated seeing Kyung like this. This wasn’t his Kyung. And yet, it was. The worst part? He wasn’t even done yet.

“I know about the two that live here,” Minhyuk added. Might as well put that out there. “They know about me too. That I was raised to hunt them.”

The silence was deafening. Kyung wasn’t speaking and Minhyuk couldn’t bring himself to look up from his pants. Minhyuk hated the silence. He was too afraid to let himself babble. He might say something else that wouldn’t help the situation.

Finally Kyung spoke. His voice was low, his words carefully measured for maximum impact. At least, that’s how it felt. “You’re a hunter.”

Minhyuk nodded. “I’m not a killer,” he quickly added. That seemed important to throw out there. “Not me. I was told I didn’t have it in me and wasn’t trained for that.”

Granted now that he heard himself saying that, he could hear just how fake that actually sounded. Except it wasn’t fake. Talk about how to make this situation even more frustrating. “My area is in intelligence,” he blurted out.

Only after he said that did he realize just how bad that sounded. If this situation weren’t so serious, he’d groan in embarrassment. As it was, Minhyuk was almost positive he’d fucked this all up beyond fixing. Too late to stop now though.

“I...I stopped telling the people who raised me information,” Minhyuk went on. As if that would make things right. He knew it wouldn’t but he needed Kyung to understand. “Now they’re starting to make threats.”

He wanted to look at Kyung. To seek comfort from the guy he’d fallen in love with. Shame was hitting him too hard to do that though. He didn’t deserve comfort. Not when he’d done so much to betray Kyung’s trust.

“This is a lot,” Kyung said after a very long, impossibly long, moment. There was a coldness in his voice that hurt to hear. Minhyuk knew he deserved it. “Do they know about this place?”

Of course this house, these people, would be Kyung’s first concern. He cared for others. Kyung wasn’t selfish, not like Minhyuk. It was a struggle for Minhyuk to understand just why others would be first on Kyung’s mind. And at the same time, that foolish kindness made something inside Minhyuk flutter.

Minhyuk shook his head. “I’ve always tried to keep you as separate and far away as possible,” he admitted.

“They know about me.” Kyung’s voice was matter of fact.

Minhyuk nodded. “I couldn’t keep you completely hidden.” That had stopped being possible the moment Kyung had come over that first time. “They’re...I’m not the one they’re threatening to hurt.”

A long silence that seemed to stretch on for eternity. It was painful. Minhyuk hated how the silence seemed to press against him, threatening to squeeze the air from his lungs.

“They’re threatening to hurt me.” Kyung sounded a little surprised as he figured it all out. Minhyuk wasn’t surprised that Kyung understood. The guy was the smartest person Minhyuk knew after all.

The stream of curses that erupted from Kyung was certainly a surprise though. Minhyuk finally looked at his...hmm, were they still dating? He certainly hoped so but he’d have to get some confirmation from Kyung to know what their status was.

“Phone.”

Kyung held out his hand. When it wasn’t clear what he was going on about, he repeated the word. “Hand it over,” he ordered.

It took Minhyuk a few moments to catch up to Kyung’s thinking. When he did catch on and understood, a cold fear spread through Minhyuk. His phone. The one he’d been given. The one that could be used to track him. And he had no doubts that the Minhyuks had installed some secret spy crap on the phone. They were a paranoid people after all.

He handed the phone over to Kyung without a complaint.

\---

Minhyuk was clearly uncomfortable. Good. Kyung wasn’t sure how he felt about the guy right now. Honestly, Kyung was still trying to process everything he’d learned over the last house. It was a lot and Minhyuk...he wasn’t the guy Kyung thought he was, that was for sure.

Kyung was trying to hold it all together. To not let the doubts and insecurities get him. It was hard though. He’d been duped for months, if not longer. This was why Minhyuk had been too perfect. Kyung knew there was a catch, something that would show that Minhyuk wasn’t as perfect as he seemed. Just...the fact that he was a vampire hunter was not the catch Kyung was expecting. He’d thought it’d be something more normal like cheating or being from a gangster family. It was sad when that was the preferable option.

His bedroom door opened and Zico stepped in.

“You wanted to speak to me?” He sounded confused. Kyung didn’t exactly blame the vampire.

“Yeah,” Kyung answered, hopping over to the door and closing it. This house didn’t exactly have secrets but this wasn’t a conversation that Kyung wanted the whole house to overhear either.

“There’s a situation,” Kyung started. Then he outlined all the things that Minhyuk had been telling him. It took awhile and Zico asked a few questions along the way which only helped the process take longer. Minhyuk stayed silent the entire time.  
Zico stood there, taking it all in. There was a lot so Kyung didn’t find the quiet disconcerting. Then Zico asked it. “So what do we do?”

It was a fair question.

Kyung had a plan. It wasn’t the smartest thing he’d ever thought up. But it would work and it might just keep them all alive. Possibly even safe.

“We have him live here.”

Minhyuk and Zico were both staring at him. Clear disbelief was written all over both of their faces.

“Hear me out,” Kyung went on. “Minhyuk’s place isn’t safe for him. They’re looking for him. He never told them about coming here. No one’s looking at this place. He already knows about vampires so we don’t have to get into that.”

It wasn’t a perfect plan but it was doable. The hardest part about all of this would be Kyung himself because if Minhyuk’s words were to be trusted, Kyung was still in danger. And from the worried way Minhyuk had spoken earlier, Kyung believed the guy. He took a deep breath and finished laying out the last part of his plan. “If anyone comes after me, I tell them that he vanished on me. Just disappeared without a word.”

He could act upset and pissed off. That’s how he felt right now. He was trying to hide it but Kyung wasn’t sure how good of a job he was doing with that.

“What about his phone? Personal effects?” Zico asked.

“I got rid of his phone,” Kyung answered. A powerful magnet had helped make sure that no one could ever use the phone again.

“I don’t have anything there that I need to have.” There was a sadness in Minhyuk’s voice. From the way he said that, it sounded like he was just now realizing that. Kyung reached over and squeezed his boyfriend’s shoulder. He might be upset with the guy but Minhyuk was still his boyfriend.

Zico sighed. “I can’t make this decision myself,” he finally said. “Jaehyo has to agree.”

Not a surprise. If there was one thing Kyung had learned over the last year of his life, it was that Zico ran all decisions by Jaehyo and vice versa.

“You know where we’ll be,” Kyung replied. When Zico closed the door behind him, Kyung turned towards Minhyuk. “Now, about your hair…”

\---

Jiho ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t know what to do. This situation had gotten far too complicated and crazy all of a sudden. He’d never expected something like this when he’d suggested the hunter stay with them.

Punching in the door code, Jiho still wasn’t sure how he was going to explain this to Jaehyo. He knew the guy wasn’t exactly thrilled with having the hunter here. Jaehyo hadn’t said anything but his displeasure was clear to someone like Jiho who had spent centuries with him.

“What did Kyung want?” Jaehyo asked. He was playing a game on the computer he’d dragged into their little living room.

Jiho didn’t know how to answer that. Not quickly or simply anyways. He leaned against the door frame, watching Jaehyo. The guy appeared to be completely focused on his game. He didn’t even appear to be blinking. He was chewing on his lips too. The habit bugged Jiho usually because he hated how raw and chapped it made Jaehyo’s lips. Right now, he found himself happy to see the habit. This was just another sign that his Jaehyo was back.

“It’s...interesting,” Jiho said. “He has an idea.”

Jaehyo looked up for a brief moment. “Oh?”

Jiho nodded. “Yeah.” He walked over to watch Jaehyo. He stood behind, not really getting what in the world was going on in the game. Video games were interesting but they didn’t hold Jiho’s attention all that much. Not like music. Though a few years back, he had gotten into a couple of games where you got to pretend to play the songs.

“The talk with Kyung lasted a while,” Jaehyo said, turning to look at Jiho. Apparently he was done with whatever it was that he’d been doing. “What happened?”

Jiho still wasn’t sure how to explain it. “Kyung asked if his boyfriend could move into here. Permanently.” Might as well start there since the rest revolved around that.

Jaehyo stared. It looked like he was having trouble comprehending what Jiho had said.

JIho laid out everything. He felt like he was talking forever as he explained what Kyung had told him. As he talked through it, Jiho could understand just how brilliant an idea it was.

Kyung was smart. That was a fact that Jiho had always known. He’d just never realized how scary smart Kyung was.

As a hunter, Minhyuk was a liability. He posed danger to all of them just by existing. If they brought Minhyuk in as a permanent resident, they could keep an eye on him. And if Minhyuk lived here, he’d have to feed them. Have to share his blood with the two vampires. They could gain some insight into Minhyuk and his thought processes.

Saving Minhyuk, keeping him happy, would also make him feel grateful towards the household. Jiho wasn’t a fool. He knew they wouldn’t win Minhyuk over easily. But they could win him. From the way Minhyuk had spoken before, he’d implied that he was all alone in the world.

“I don’t like this,” Jaehyo said once Jiho was done explaining.

Jiho couldn’t help but nod. “I’m not sure about it myself,” he admitted. “But it does sound solid.”

Jaehyo nodded. “It does.” He didn’t sound happy about that.

“So what do we say?” Jiho didn’t want to shoulder all of this himself. “Does he stay?”

A frustrated groan came from Jaehyo. “We don’t really have a choice, do we?” Jaehyo pointed out. “He stays.”

Jiho knew he’d fallen for this man for a reason. Jaehyo was great at reading his mind and knowing what they needed to do. Still, he needed this to be completely clear. There could be no fuzziness at all in this decision. Not this time, not with something this important. “You sure?”

Jaehyo nodded. “We don’t really have a choice,” he repeated. “Kyung’s got us backed into a corner.”

Wasn’t that the truth? Bending down, Jiho placed a quick, chaste kiss on Jaehyo’s cheek. Nothing special, just enough to show his appreciation. Jaehyo rolled his eyes and turned his attention back onto his game.

He went back up the stairs. He didn’t stop until he was in front of Kyung’s open door. The two humans were inside, talking softly. Jiho knocked on the door frame. Both of them looked at him. The vampire smiled. “We talked it over,” he said as he stepped in, closing the door behind him. “You can stay.”

Relief hit the humans. It was visible on both their faces. Jiho felt a little surge of happiness at that. He liked being the good guy. For so long, he’d played the role of someone who was cold and distant. Now that he was used to being more supportive, he couldn’t go back to the way he used to be.

He looked at the hunter. “You do realize that living here means you’ll be asked to feed us, right?” Jiho didn’t want to force the issue. He wouldn’t but he didn’t need to tell Minhyuk that.  
The hunter visibly swallowed. He nodded slowly. “Do I need to do it now?” He sounded nervous.

Jiho shrugged. “If you’d like.”

Minhyuk almost got a chance to relax. Then Kyung said it. “Yes. Now so we know that you’re being sincere with us.”

The coldness in Kyung’s voice was surprising. Jiho turned and looked at the human. Kyung was staring at Minhyuk. It was not the most friendly stare. Minhyuk looked surprised by it too. But he nodded and stepped closer to Jiho.

“How do I do this?” He sounded scared. In that moment, Jiho hated Kyung for forcing this. He understood why but he hated how he was being used as a test.

“Just hold out your arm,” Jiho answered.

Minhyuk was surprised by that. “Arm? I thought you fed from necks. That’s...that’s what they always told us.”

Jiho chuckled, trying to ease the awkwardness of this situation that he found himself in. “Some might do it that way but not me. It’s...the neck is too intimate.” He’d learned a long time ago just how awkward the place was to feed from. It made the human nervous and Jaehyo jealous in a bad way. Reaching out, he took Minhyuk’s arm and started rolling up one of the human’s sleeves. He tapped on the spot right on the inside of the elbow.

“I prefer to feed from here,” he told the hunter. “Jaehyo’s still learning but he’ll feed from here too.” At least, that’s where Jaehyo had taken to feeding from humans the few times he’d fed from them. No doubt he was influenced by Jiho in that.

That news made the hunter relax visibly. “Okay.” Then a small smile spread across his face. Did he have a dimple? It looked like there was one trying to show. “It’s just like donating blood.”

Exactly. Jiho laughed. “That’s what it is,” he pointed out. “Except you’re donating to a couple of vampires.” They couldn’t put this off anymore though. He brought Minhyuk’s skin up to his mouth and bit down as gently as he could.

Feelings his Jiho as he drank. He wasn’t sure why he was getting so much from Minhyuk but it was like floodgates had opened. There was regret. Something in the past had caused so much pain and hurt and regret. There was love too. Kyung. Kyung meant love and hope for the future, that there might be something real there. The thought was so sweet that Jiho couldn’t help but smile as he drank. Then the fear hit him. There was so much fear. Minhyuk was drowning in it and it was heartbreaking.

As he drank, something became very clear to Jiho. This human was broken. He was broken in the same sort of ways that so many of their previous boys had been broken. They’d missed this boy and Jiho regretted that but he knew they could help him. Could change his future so that he wasn’t broken anymore. After all, that was this house’s specialty.

He let go, releasing Minhyuk. Jiho rested a hand on Kyung’s desk to steady himself. The human stumbled a little. Minhyuk looked dazed which was to be expected. “Lay down for a bit,” Jiho advised. “And no one will feed from you for a week.”

Minhyuk nodded, not really seeming aware. Thankfully Kyung stood and helped guide the other human to the bed. Almost immediately, Minhyuk closed his eyes. He wasn’t asleep. Not according to the unsteady breathing anyways.

Kyung followed Jiho out of the room and closed the door behind them. The vampire could feel Kyung’s eyes on him, watching him. “So?” He asked, lasting longer than Jiho had expected. “Can we trust him?”

“Trust who?” Jihoon asked from where he was walking up the stairs.

“My boyfriend.”

“The hunter.”

Jihoon paused at the top of the staircase. His voice was slow and even when he spoke again, showing his wariness towards the situation. “What’s going on?”

This was not a conversation that Jiho wanted to have half a dozen times. He knew that not everyone was around at the moment but the fewer times they had to explain this, the better. Because the more he thought about it, the crazier it all sounded. “Let’s get everyone together. Meet me in the kitchen in about 10, 15, minutes.”

Kyung glanced at his closed door. “Minhyuk too?”

“If he feels like it,” Jiho answered. He didn’t want to push their newest resident. Things were going to be tough enough for the guy after this as it was.


	51. i miss you but i can't have you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mino - Fiance

The room felt impossibly small with everyone in there. All the warm bodies and beating hearts. Jaehyo wanted to run but he couldn’t. Jiho had said this was important. All the humans, minus Seunghoon who was at work, were in the kitchen.

Yukwon rested his head against Jaehyo’s shoulder. “You know what this is all about?” He murmured.

Jaehyo shifted, trying not to focus on how loud Yukwon’s heart was. “I have an idea.”

Yukwon looked like he wanted to ask but Jiho cleared his throat. The room, full of confused whispers and murmurs, fell silent.

“It feels weird to have a meeting like this, especially so soon after the last one,” Jiho started. He was nervous. He didn’t know how the humans were going to take this. Glancing around, Jaehyo noticed their hunter was missing too. “We’re...there’s been a new development that everyone needs to know about.”

Talk about how to get everyone’s attention. Jiho had already had it but they were paying attention to him even more now. Everyone had shifted, turning towards Jiho. Which definitely helped Jaehyo because now he didn’t feel so much like a carnival attraction that everyone wanted to watch. Then things got tense. Jiho explained the whole situation with their hunter.

“He...I drank from him,” Jiho ended. There was a tense tone in his voice. Something had happened, something that he didn’t want to share with everyone. “He didn’t come across as someone who wants to hurt us. He’s just afraid.”

A lost boy. Jaehyo could read between the lines. Minhyuk was another lost boy. The irony of the situation was not lost on Jaehyo. This wasn’t the first or the last time they’d taken in someone like this.

“Where’s he at now?” Taeil asked.

Jiho looked stressed and drained. He was trying not to show it but Jaehyo could see it. So he decided to answer the question, to try and take some of the pressure off of Jiho. “He’s upstairs in Kyung’s room. And no one’s going to go in there except Kyung.”

“He was a little out of it after I drank from him,” Jiho added. “We’re still working this whole situation out but…”

“This isn’t supposed to be a secret,” Jaehyo finished. Jiho was definitely more stressed and drained about something than he was trying to show. Curiosity burned Jaehyo and he wanted to know more but it was more important to settle the household first. “And knowing about this, it’ll help keep you all safe. Just in case.”  
The grateful smile Jiho shot him sent a flurry of butterflies through Jaehyo. The rest of the room seemed to fall away in that moment. It felt like they were the only two there. But then Yukwon shifted, reminding Jaehyo that they weren’t alone, that there was still a room full of humans between them.

There wasn’t much else to discuss or explain so the humans started to leave. Yukwon mentioned something going on a walk with Ppo. Kyung almost immediately grabbed Mino and was talking about something to do with hair and Minhyuk. Jaehyo decided he’d rather just find out more about that once it was done and over with.

Jaehyo was about to go over to Jiho, to drag him back to their rooms and see what was bothering him so much when Jihoon stepped up to the younger vampire. He seemed nervous about something which wasn’t exactly the greatest for helping Jaehyo settle down. It also didn’t help that they hadn’t spoken since that incident a few nights ago.

“Can I talk to you, Hyung?” Jihoon asked, his voice low as if he was afraid he’d be overheard.

Given the last week of things, Jaehyo knew there were a bunch of reasons why Jihoon might want to speak to him. “Studio?” He suggested. From the way Jihoon was acting, it seemed like Jihoon would want some privacy. There was a slight hesitation that didn’t go unnoticed by the younger vampire but he did feel some relief when Jihoon nodded.

Jaehyo sat on the couch, curling up out of reflex. This was his spot after all. Jihoon took one of the chairs. Jihoon was clearly nervous. Jaehyo could smell it and that was not helping him at all. The only thing that was helping was right now, Jaehyo at least felt like he was in control of himself.

It felt like forever before Jihoon actually spoke. “I’m having trouble,” the boy admitted, looking at his hands.

“With what?” Jaehyo felt lost right now. He’d missed so much of what had been going on around here. And all he could wonder was if Jihoon’s trouble was related to Jaehyo himself and their encounter a few nights ago.

“I don’t know where to begin,” Jihoon finally said after what felt like forever. Then he sighed. It was a deep and heavy sigh that Jaehyo could feel in his own bones. “I guess, it goes back to when I met Taeil-hyung. It was randomly at a bar back when you were still human.”

This was news to Jaehyo. He couldn’t remember getting told any of this at any point. “So what happened?”

“You died.”

Well those words were a nice, lovely punch to the gut. Guilt hit Jaehyo all over again. He couldn’t help it. Death hadn’t been something that he could stop. At the same time, Jaehyo was confused.

“What does my death have to do with you and Taeil?”

Jihoon spun in his chair a little, still not looking up at him. “I was a mess after you didn’t come back. Taeil-hyung helped me.”

Didn’t come back? Jaehyo frowned, not understanding that part. But he kept quiet as Jihoon continued to speak. “It...it wasn’t amazing but it wasn’t horrible. I just wasn’t in the right spot for something and neither was he?” Jihoon groaned. “I don’t know. It’s all been very confusing.”

“You dated and broke up in the time that I was dead?” Jaehyo felt like he needed some clarity.

Jihoon nodded. “Things weren’t easy,” he admitted. “He kept asking for space and...every time, it felt like he was saying he didn’t care.” He groaned and finally looked up. “You know me. How I am. I felt like I was getting pushed away every day and it hurt because I felt like I had no one else really at that time. Minho left for a bit. Kyung-hyung was super wrapped up in his boyfriend. And Zico and Yukwon-hyung…” he shook his head.

How bad had things gotten? Jaehyo had heard a little and he knew things hadn’t been the best but to hear this...Jaehyo wasn’t getting good vibes about it. Still that was something for a different time, for a different person. He focused his attention on Jihoon, he made a decision right there. It was a hard one to make but he had a feeling that it might be something Jihoon needed to hear. “It’s tough to live with someone when you’re first getting involved,” he said. “You feel like you never get a break.”

Jihoon leaned forward. “What do you mean by that?”

The youth that Jihoon was displaying right now made Jaehyo feel so very, very old. There were times when Jaehyo was able to forget the centuries that separated him from others. Then a moment like this one slammed into him, making it impossible for him to forget.

Jaehyo smiled and tried to figure out how to explain it in a way that Jihoon would understand. “When you’re first with someone you’re interested in, you want to spend every moment together. But at the same time, you need space because it’s all just overwhelming. There’s so much new and so much going on.” He smiled and added, “sometimes, some of us need more time and space.”

“Us?” Jihoon repeated. The word had caught his attention right away.

Jaehyo nodded. “Yeah, us.” Shifting, he stretched his legs and went on. “I needed a lot of time to be comfortable around Zico in the beginning.”

It was clear that he had Jihoon’s attention right now so Jaehyo kept going. “I needed years before I was fully comfortable around him.” Jaehyo wasn’t sure just how long it’d taken but they’d been living together for a long, long time before Jaehyo realized that being around Jiho wasn’t stressful. “There were so many times when I’d run away during the day because I couldn’t be around him. It was too scary for me.”

A frown spread across Jihoon’s face as he listened. “What is that supposed to mean?”

This was embarrassing. Jaehyo hadn’t talked about this in a long, long time. But he’d already made the decision to share because it might help Jihoon. So he kept talking. “Back then, being around him, it meant a future. And that was a scary thing for me.” From the way Jihoon was leaning forward, it was clear that he had the human’s attention. So Jaehyo kept going, feeling shaky about sharing the next part but knowing that he had to.

“I came from a poor family. We didn’t have much,” Jaehyo explained. That world he’d been born into was so different from this one. “My family farmed but it was a tough life. All of us had to constantly work in order for us to have a chance of surviving. But sometimes things weren’t always in our control. One year, things ended up being really bad.” He didn’t go into explaining how bad they’d gotten. Jihoon wouldn’t be able to comprehend because that lifestyle was just so different from the way the world was now.

“A messenger came to my parents with an offer,” Jaehyo continued on. “I’d been spotted in town, probably running an errand. A wealthy patron wanted to buy me. The offer...it wasn’t one that my parents could refuse so they sold me to the patron.”

There was horror on Jihoon’s face. The clash of worlds had never been more apparent than it was now. And Jaehyo was about to make it worse. “I ended up staying in that household a few years until I finally managed to run away successfully.” No need to bring up all his various attempts that had only resulted in getting caught and punished.

Jaehyo kept going. “By the time I met Zico, I was living day to day. I didn’t think about a future. I couldn’t. It took too much effort.” He didn’t mean to scare Jihoon, to make him think that there was some hidden horror in Taeil’s past. That made the next thing he said all the more important. “Everyone’s different, Jihoonie, but some of us just need more time. We aren’t able to handle the whole situation, the change, as well as others.”

Jihoon leaned back in his chair. He was quiet, a thoughtful look on his face as he absorbed all of Jaehyo’s words. Jaehyo stayed quiet as well. Jihoon clearly needed to take this moment and honestly, Jaehyo was feeling more than a tad drained now. Talking about his past was never a favorite activity and telling someone new about it had only left him feeling even more drained than normal. Besides, they had all the time in the world right now.

“This...I don’t know what to do, Hyung,” Jihoon finally said.

Well that was certainly an interesting thing to say. Jaehyo wasn’t sure what to make of it because it didn’t quite make sense. Not to him anyways. Not unless...crap. “You still have feelings for Taeil, don’t you?”

Jihoon hung his head low. _Ding, ding, ding we have a winner._ “How did you handle living here with Zico?”

He didn’t have to say it for Jaehyo to understand what he meant. Jihoon was asking how he’d handled living here after leaving. When things between him and Jiho hadn’t been good. There was only one way for Jaehyo to answer this. “I didn’t handle it,” he said. “You saw me. I was a mess a year ago. I didn’t even try.”

“You left here,” Jihoon tried to point out.

All that did was make Jaehyo snort. “You and I both know just how well that turned out for me.” He’d coming running back at the first opportunity. Jihoon had said ‘come back’ and that’s all it’d taken to get Jaehyo to come running back.

“I’m the one who asked you back.”

Jaehyo laughed. “Yeah, you were. And the very next night, I was back in his rooms.”

From the way Jihoon’s eyes widened, it was clear he hadn’t expected that. “Seriously?”

Yeah, this wasn’t Jaehyo’s favorite topic or his finest moment. Since he’d already revealed it, all he could do was nod. “I didn’t even try. I went down there on my own and let myself back in immediately.” The closest he’d come to trying to keep his distance was when he’d stayed in Yukwon’s room for a little bit.

“The situation between Zico and I, it was different from the one you’re in,” Jaehyo pointed out. “We...we’d spent centuries together by then so for us, that year was more like a month apart for normal humans.”

Jihoon seemed to deflate at that. Oops.

“It’s not a bad thing,” Jaehyo said quickly, trying to reassure Jihoon. “They’re just different.” Looking at the human, a thought popped into Jaehyo’s head. “Jihoonie, have you talked to Taeil about any of this?”  
The look on Jihoon’s face said it all.

“You haven’t.”

“Would you?” Jihoon asked, his voice glum.

Jaehyo laughed. “I’m a bad example,” he pointed out. “I’ve only ever been with one person that’s lasted longer than lifetimes.”

A sad smile settled on Jihoon’s face as he looked up at Jaehyo. “See, you say that and...that’s the kind of thing I want, Hyung.”

Jaehyo wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He knew from his own experience that it was entirely possible to find and stay with someone from a young age. That’s exactly what had happened to Jaehyo. He also knew that times were different now. The world had changed and expectations for people were different. When Jaehyo had been in his human lifetime, it was stranger for someone to have many partners and take years to find someone to settle down with.

“Don’t try to force it,” Jaehyo finally said. “It’s fine to want a relationship but you can’t force something that isn’t supposed to happen.” Well someone could but it wouldn’t turn out well in the end. “You can’t do that, not if you want something like what I’ve got with Zico.”

Guilt flashed across Jihoon’s face. “I just...I don’t…”

Jaehyo held up a handing, stopping the human. “I know.” He didn’t to hear Jihoon explain something that so clearly made him uncomfortable. Jaehyo knew what it was like to have things that he didn’t want to talk about.

That earned him a smile from Jihoon. “I knew I liked you best, Hyung.”

\---

Minhyuk couldn’t stop staring at himself in the mirror. “I don’t look like myself,” he finally said, reaching up to touch the blond hair that he now had.

“That’s the point,” Kyung replied. “We don’t want you to be recognizable.” He glanced over at Mino. “Thanks for your help.”

Minhyuk felt weird as he looked in the mirror again. He’d never dyed his hair before. To go to such an extreme, an almost white-blond, was jarring. It surprised him at how not terrible it looked.

“I look…” he didn’t want to brag.  
“Pretty damn good,” Mino filled in the rest. He seemed proud of his handiwork which was understandable. He’d done a good job. “You should think of keeping it.”

Kyung nodded in agreement. That made a warmth spread through Minhyuk. Not that he expected much. The whole situation between them felt odd thanks to everything that had happened today. Part of him wished he could take it all back but on the other hand, he felt freer now. A weight he hadn’t noticed before was gone. Being truthful had done that and that was something Minhyuk could definitely appreciate.

Mino left and it was just the two of them in the bathroom now. They didn’t move at first. Then Minhyuk asked it. “Am I still staying in your room?”

It felt important to know where he was sleeping right now. If Kyung said he could stay, that meant things between them were good and could be worked on. If not...Minhyuk didn’t know what he’d do but he knew he’d deserve it. He’d broken Kyung’s trust after all.

Kyung looked at him for a long moment. Then he sighed. “We need to rearrange a little,” he said. “My bed’s rather cramped right now.”

Minhyuk frowned. He wasn’t sure what Kyung meant by that. Was that supposed to mean that Minhyuk needed to leave the room? Or something else?

“There’s an extra bed we can snag,” Kyung said as he walked out of the bathroom. “Move the dresser and bring it in. We’ll probably have to lose the desk though. It takes up a lot of room but it might fit in the common area.”

Minhyuk followed, hope in each step. If he was understanding correctly, this meant that Kyung still wanted him in the room. It was shocking to Minhyuk but he honestly had thought this might be the end. “Are you sure?” Minhyuk asked, still in disbelief.

Kyung shrugged. “It’s probably stupid of me but you’ve been trying and doing everything so I’m willing to give you another chance.”

That one sentence filled Minhyuk with more hope than he thought possible. Of course, that was before they started moving furniture. Mino came out, a bowl of popcorn in hand as he watched. From what Minhyuk knew of the guy, he seemed decent. But would it have killed him to help out?

He was exhausted when they were finally done. Stretching out on the new, bigger bed was more relaxing than being scrunched up on Kyung’s bed. It wasn’t amazingly comfortable and Minhyuk could feel the seam where the two beds met but it was still better. Just the only thing that had sucked was the whole moving every single piece of furniture bit. Clearly it’d been worth it though if now was any indication.  
Kyung was already asleep. He’d fallen asleep almost instantly. Looking at him right now, he looked so handsome. So at peace. When he looked at Kyung, Minhyuk knew that he’d made the right decision. He’d made some mistakes in his past but he could feel that this...this was the one thing that he’d definitely gotten right.

He was tired but Minhyuk couldn’t sleep. Getting up, he headed to the kitchen. Something to drink would be nice. When he reached the room, he found Yukwon feeding his dog.

“He’s cute,” Minhyuk said, trying to be friendly. He was living with these people now. He’d been there for a week already but this was more permanent.

“She is,” Yukwon replied. “Jaehyo-hyung got her for me for my last birthday.”

Grabbing a glass and pouring himself some water, Minhyuk apologized. “Sorry, Didn’t know she was a girl.”

Yukwon chuckled. “It’s fine. Her name’s Ppo.”

Minhyuk came closer to the two of them. “I’m surprised you’re allowed to have her here.” It seemed so strange to him. A place with communal living and someone had a pet. A dog at that.

“Pets are fine as long as you take care of them.” Yukwon smiled. It was a nice smile, one that seemed to make the room a little brighter. “We’ve almost always had a few dogs here.”

“This place...it’s not at all what I expected,” Minhyuk admitted. “There’s so much freedom here.”

Yukwon chuckled again, nodding. “Well yeah, the hyungs, they don’t want to control us. They need blood but they would rather it be given freely by willing donors.”

“Maybe others run their lives differently,” Yukwon continued, “but these two...I’ve been with them a long time. Long enough to see who they really are. They try to be normal, to live their lives without hurting anyone as much as they can.”

Minhyuk nodded. “That’s what I’ve seen.” He shot his own smile in Yukwon’s directly. “It’s a big part of the reason why I came clean about everything.”

“You just wanted to try and save Kyung.” Yukwon was a smart guy. That was quite clear. “But that’s not a bad thing. Kyung’s a good kid.”

What an odd thing to say. “You’re the same age as him.” Or at least, they were relatively close in age.

Yukwon shook his head. “I’m an old man. I may not look like it but I’m old. A lot older than anyone else.”

Looking at Yukwon, he certainly didn’t look old. There was something in the way he said it thought that made Minhyuk believe him. “How old are you?” Minhyuk asked, letting his curiosity show.

Yukwon shrugged. “I’m so old I stopped counting a few decades ago when I reached my forties. I just didn’t see the point of it. I mean,” he wave a hand over himself, “I certainly don’t look my age.”

“Definitely not,” Minhyuk had to agree. “You look young.”

Yukwon nodded. “Yeah, it’s a perk of the whole feeding thing. You wouldn’t know it just by looking at them but Jaehyo-hyung’s actually a few centuries old and Zico’s even older.”

The amount of trust that Minhyuk was receiving right now was surreal. If he wanted to, he could ruin this place. He didn’t want to though. Not when they were willing to take him in despite everything. They were so trusting. They needed someone who could protect them.

The role of protector wasn’t one Minhyuk had ever imagined for himself. He liked the thought though. And who better to protect them than someone who knew their enemy? Not that these people really knew they had enemies...and the Minhyuks only suspected Zico. They had nothing concrete, just suspicions they couldn’t prove. Now that he knew the vampire, Minhyuk could understand why. It made him want to protect the household even more.


	52. in my dark room seems like everything’s moving on its own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mamamoo - Midnight Summer Dream
> 
> (this chapter is for you, Sue ^^ )

“You were with Jihoon,” Jiho said as he spotted Jaehyo coming out of the studio. “Everything okay?”

Jaehyo nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I think so.”

That was good to hear. After that incident the other night, Jiho had been worried about those two. They’d always had a good relationship (outside of the very beginning but Jiho didn’t count those days) and Jiho had been afraid that the other night would ruin that relationship. Apparently not. They were stronger and better than that which he knew but it was nice to have some proof to back it up.

“He was a little afraid of me at first,” Jaehyo added. Jiho couldn’t help but wince. That’s what he’d been afraid of after all. “But then he relaxed and it was okay.”

Jiho was relieved about that. “That’s good to hear,” he said. “I was worried about you two.”

The pain that Jaehyo felt was resonating within Jiho. He wished there was some easy way to fix everything. There wasn’t though. Time and practice were the only things that would help how Jaehyo felt right now.

“Are you hungry?” Jiho asked. He’d been trying to make sure that Jaehyo fed from someone every night. As far as Jiho knew, the younger vampire hadn’t fed yet and it was making Jiho feel antsy. It was probably unnecessary and Jaehyo could probably skip tonight since he’d been feeding so much lately but Jiho was scared that if they skipped tonight, it might become easier to skip in the future and they’d find themselves in another bad situation like what happened with Jihoon.

“No yet,” Jaehyo admitted. He looked and sounded ashamed to admit that. There was no need to be ashamed though. Jaehyo was just trying to hold himself to a standard that he needed more experience to reach.

“You fed from Taeil the other night. Kyung was last night and I fed from Minhyuk earlier.” Jiho ran through the names, ticking people off with his fingers. They’d have to be careful and keep track now that there were two of them. It wouldn’t be good if they took too much and ended up hurting one of the boys.

Yukwon appeared in his doorway, Ppo’s leash in hand. He was clearly on his way out but he stopped in front of them, smiling with that bright, beautiful grin of his. “I couldn’t help overhearing,” he said. “You can feed from me.”

It’d been a week since Jaehyo had come back. A week since he’d fed from Yukwon. And of all their humans, Yukwon was by far the strongest. The one who could handle frequent feedings the best without it harming him. All of this combined led Jiho to nod his head in agreement. He didn’t see a problem with this. However Jaehyo needed to work it all out himself. He needed to learn how to judge if a human was fit to give blood or not.

“Is it okay?” Jaehyo asked. He only had eyes for Yukwon right now. “I fed from you earlier this week. So would it be too soon? I mean, if I was human, I know I’d be okay but…” Jaehyo was rambling. It was adorable.

Yukwon nodded. “Others might not be okay but I recover fast, Hyung.” He handed Ppo’s leash to Jiho. “A couple of days and I’m good. Not that I’m saying you should feed from me all the time but…” Yukwon’s smile got brighter, “you don’t need to worry too much about me. If I wasn’t good, I wouldn’t have offered.”

Jaehyo nodded. He sniffed the spot on Yukwon’s arm that he’d fed from earlier. Then he bit down. This time, Jiho didn’t find watching the situation quite as seductive. It was still a sight that affected him but at least he didn’t feel consumed with need this time. Honestly? He was glad. Life would have been wildly inconvenient if he got hard every time he saw Jaehyo feed from someone.

Yukwon tapped on Jaehyo’s arm after a moment. “That’s enough, Hyung.” Jaehyo answered with a whine but he didn’t let go so Yukwon did it again. Jiho watched, waiting for the right moment to jump in. Jaehyo whined again, letting go reluctantly. Jiho looked over at Yukwon, half expecting to see fear or something similar in the human’s eyes. Instead, he just found love. Fondness.

“You need to be more careful next time,” Yukwon scolded, his voice light and playful. “Especially around the younger guys. They can’t handle the same as me.”

Jaehyo’s head was bowed. He nodded. “Sorry Kwonnie.”

The human reached out, taking back Ppo’s leash. “It’s fine,” he said, his voice still carrying that tone of calmness and reassurance. “Just be more careful next time.”

Jiho took Jaehyo’s hand and squeezed. Yukwon was right. Not that Jiho was surprised. Yukwon was now the human with the most experience in their house. He had the most knowledge on how to handle a vampire. Yukwon saw the motion and shook his head. “You two never change, do you?” He asked. He didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, he just headed up the stairs with his dog.

“Ready to go downstairs?” Jiho asked. They were finally alone but he still couldn’t relax. Not while they weren’t actually in their own rooms and untouchable. This night had been absolutely crazy. Ridiculous enough that all Jiho really felt like doing was running away and spending what was left of the night hiding away from everything with Jaehyo.

A grateful smile was on Jaehyo’s face. “You have no idea how good that sounds to me right now.”

True. But Jiho could take a pretty good guess. Leading the way down to their rooms, Jiho didn’t stop until they were actually in their set of rooms, the locked door separating them from everyone else. As soon as the door clicked, hands that weren’t his own were undressing Jiho.

All it took was a single look. Jaehyo’s eyes were heavy with hunger. Since he’d just fed from Yukwon, Jiho took a guess that this hunger wasn’t related to physical thirst. Nope, he figured it was for something of a more carnal variety. Apparently feeding was something that affected Jaehyo’s libido...which was an interesting outcome but not one that Jiho was going to argue with. Not when he was more than happy in obliging this sort of hunger.

When he woke the next evening, Jiho found himself alone in bed. A little smile flitted across his face. Apparently some things were never going to change. Jaehyo was still the first one up.

A shower sounded wonderful right now so Jiho dragged himself out of the bed. He stretched. It felt amazing. Heading towards their bathroom, he stopped almost immediately.

Jaehyo was sitting on the floor, hugging his needs to his chest. He was curled up into an impossibly small ball. A man of his size should not look that small and yet here he was. His head and buried in his knees, making it impossible for him to see Jiho. The older vampire half-expected Jaehyo to start rocking.

All thoughts of taking a shower fled as Jiho knelt down beside Jaehyo. He reached out tentatively, not wanting to spook Jaehyo. “What’s wrong?” Jiho couldn’t help but ask. Everything had seemed fine when they’d gone to bed so this was a bit of a surprise.

Jaehyo didn’t appear to react. There was no looking up. No words in response. No movement. Jiho felt his body turn to ice. Fighting a panic that was threatening to take him over, Jiho shook the younger vampire.

“Look at me.” Jiho ordered. “Jae, look at me.”

Jaehyo’s head shot up. His eyes...Jiho’s hand dropped as he scrambled to get away. The panicked feeling was definitely making its presence known right now. Jiho felt like he couldn’t get away fast enough. Jaehyo’s long limbs (they looked so impossibly long right now) stretched out. He started to crawl towards Jiho.

Two dark holes of the emptiest black in existence stared at Jiho. They’d taken the place of Jaehyo’s eyes. There was nothing to them. The absence of rich, chocolate eyes that promised love and warmth was terrifying. This...this thing barely even looked like Jaehyo. And it kept crawling towards him.

The cold, hard wall hit the back of Jiho’s head. He cursed, the reaction automatic. The thing that looked like Jaehyo was almost on top of him now. Jiho refused to believe that this was really his Jaehyo. There was just no way. The creature drew closer, sniffing Jiho now. Then it bit him.

Jiho sat up in bed, instantly wide awake. His heart was in his throat, pounding furiously and making it impossible to breathe. Thankfully, he didn’t actually need to breathe but it was still an odd feeling. His limbs were tingling painfully, like they’d been frozen but had gotten shocked with warmth and didn’t know how to handle the sudden change. He didn’t know why he felt this way, didn’t know what had happened. Looking next to him, he found Jaehyo curled up in his normal spot, deeply asleep. Seeing him, Jiho felt an uneasy comfort. Then he checked his phone.

The number on it was impossible. If his phone was to be trusted, it was currently one in the afternoon. Which was impossible. Jiho couldn’t remember the last time he’d been awake at this time of day. It’d literally been centuries. Not since the days when he’d been human.

His eyes grew heavy. His limbs were dragging him down. It took all of Jiho’s strength to not just fall over. Slowly, carefully, he laid back down. He reached over, resting his hand on Jaehyo. He didn’t know why but it felt important to keep track of the younger vampire. Before he could puzzle out why that felt so important, he was dragged back into his daily state of death.

\---

Jaehyo was alone in bed when he woke. A pang of loneliness shot through him. It was silly to feel that way. He knew Jiho was still in the house. There was just this weird feeling lingering about. Jaehyo couldn’t figure it out and he couldn’t explain it but the thought wouldn’t leave him alone either.

He found Jiho in the studio. The ‘do not disturb’ light was on. Jaehyo ignored it, going in anyways. Seeing Jiho, standing in his physical presence, it was immediately clear that there was something off about the older vampire. Normally he’d give some sort of acknowledgement whenever Jaehyo did this. Not this time. He didn’t even seem to notice Jaehyo.

Taking a seat in the chair next to Jiho, he waited. Jaehyo pulled out his phone, playing a game to pass the time without losing his mind.

“Shit!” Jiho’s voice practically shouted. “You scared me.” The guy’s eyes were wide and wild. He looked and sounded genuinely surprised. Odd but not entirely unheard of.

“Sorry,” Jaehyo answered as he closed out the game. “I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Jiho recovered from his surprise fast. He snorted, amused at the response. “You came in while I have the light on,” he pointed out.  
No denying that. “Guilty as charged.” He held up his hands. When Jiho smiled, Jaehyo put them down and leaned over. “What are you working on?”

Jiho glanced back at the computer that controlled his setup. Was he? **He was.** Jiho was fidgeting. There was definitely something off about the guy and that sent a nugget of worry through Jaehyo. This was not normal. Not for Jiho. When it came to the two of them, Jiho was always the calm one who had his shit together and didn’t do stuff like this.

“What is it?” Jaehyo pressed. He had to fight to keep the worry out of his voice. He wasn’t entirely sure he was succeeding.

A heavy sigh finally answered him. “I...when you were…” Jiho shook his head, clearly having trouble speaking. “Before you came back, there was a night where you started to hum a song.” There was an edge of something in Jiho’s voice but it was impossible to place just what exactly that was. “It wouldn’t leave me alone.”

Then, softly, almost impossible to hear, Jiho added, “it wouldn’t leave my head.”

Talk about curious. Jaehyo peered at the computer screen. He didn’t know why he did that. Everything on it made absolutely zero sense to him. Jiho was looking at him. It was like he could read Jaehyo’s mind. At least, that’s what it felt like when the older vampire pressed a few buttons and a song started to play.

Jaehyo recognized the familiar melody instantly. His heart...the ache of loneliness hit Jaehyo hard as feelings of love and loss and abandonment all slammed into him all at once. This was the song of his childhood. He hadn’t heard this since he was little, when he’d been a human child. He felt the coolness of a hand on his cheek, a finger wiping away the tears that Jaehyo hadn’t realized he’d started crying.

“What is it?” Jiho’s voice was soft. Full of concern. He was so close, his hands gentle as they continued to wipe away the tears that refused to stop. Jaehyo shook his head, his voice refusing to work.

Time stopped. Each moment hung suspended in the air, neverending. Jaehyo took a deep, painful breath. He took another. It hurt just as bad. Slowly, his breathing started to hurt less until he thought he might finally be ready.

“That is a song I haven’t heard in a very long time,” Jaehyo explained. His voice was shaking. He couldn’t stop it. “Not since I was a child.”

“What is it?” Jiho asked, repeating his earlier question. “You were humming it one night and...something about it just felt really familiar.”

Jaehyo took another breath. He knew he didn’t actually need to breathe but the motion was familiar and calming. “My mother.” He stopped, fighting tears that wanted to fall. “She would sing that to me.”

He tried to smile but he couldn’t. “It’s a real song. One with proper words. Or...at least, it had words. I don’t remember them now.” Saying that was like driving a dagger into his own heart. “I...sorry. When I heard it....it took me back to my childhood.”

Jiho nodded. It looked like he wanted to say something. He was holding himself back. That was something that Jaehyo appreciated. He leaned back in the chair, the feeling of something being not quite right settling all around him like a cloak.

Jaehyo hated this. Ever since he’d returned to himself, he just felt off in general. He didn’t feel like himself anymore and it was beyond frustrating. He knew he should talk to Jiho about this. Jiho might be able to help. Something was holding Jaehyo back though which was even more frustrating. There had only been one other thing in his entire life that had choked him up this badly and that was the topic of his life before Jiho.

“I hate this,” Jaehyo said, speaking more to himself than to Jiho. His words caught the older vampire’s attention though because the look on the guy’s face said it all. Jaehyo needed to explain and now. If he didn’t, Jiho would never let the topic go.

Standing up, Jaehyo moved to the couch. He didn’t want to do this, not now, but if he had to, he might as well get comfortable. At least physically. After all, it wasn’t like he was going to be comfortable in any other way.

“Ever since I came back,” Jaehyo started. Then he stopped, unable to keep from laughing. It was just so funny to him to say those words. He’d barely been back a week. That was it. The time since then had felt like an eternity but it wasn’t. It was only just a few days. “I haven’t felt like myself.”

Jiho opened his mouth to speak but Jaehyo shook his head. If Jiho interrupted now, it’d be too easy to let this end up never being spoken. To let it just fade away. As great as that sounded, Jaehyo knew he couldn’t let that happen. “I...there’s something in me that doesn’t feel like me. Remember the thing with Jihoon a few nights ago?”

Jiho nodded.

“It was trying to take me then.”

“Oh Jae…”

The pity in Jiho’s voice was painful. Jaehyo looked at his hands. He couldn’t meet Jiho’s gaze. Not without it making him feel even worse.

“It’s inside me too.” Jiho’s voice was calm. He didn’t sound afraid or scared or like he felt any of the stormy turbulence that Jaehyo felt. “Every time I feed, it’s there. Whispering in my ear to take more. It tells me to do things I know I shouldn’t.”

Refusing to look up, Jaehyo had just one question on his mind. “How do you deal with it?”

“Time. The more time, the easier it’s gotten to seperate myself from it.” Jiho’s chair squeaked, signalling that he’d stood up. It was tempting to look and see for himself but Jaehyo resisted. “It never fades thought. Not entirely.”

That wasn’t fair. Jaehyo wanted all of this to be easy but it wasn’t. He was supposed to get turned and everything would work out. He’d live happily ever after with Jiho and the boys. The only problem with that plan was all of it. Very little was working the way Jaehyo had thought it would.

“Why?” Even to his own ears, Jaehyo’s voice sounded like that of a petulant child’s.

A warm chuckle came from right in front of Jaehyo. “Because we’re not allowed to forget that we’re not human. Not anymore.” The couch shifted as Jiho sat next to him. “You’ll be fine,” he added as he put an arm around Jaehyo and pulled him close.

Leaning against Jiho was comforting. Some of the misery and loneliness Jaehyo had been feeling faded thanks to Jiho’s presence. “I don’t know if I will be,” Jaehyo admitted. “I feel like it’s just waiting for me to be weak for a moment so it can pounce.”

“You’ve already beat it,” Jiho answered, trying to be reassuring but Jaehyo found it hard to believe in those words. Pressing his lips to Jaehyo’s temple, Jiho added, “you wouldn’t be here now if you hadn’t beaten it.”

There was logic in Jiho’s words. And yet something about them didn’t sound quite right either. Jaehyo couldn’t explain why. It was a mystery to him but before he could voice that feeling, he was distracted by the sound of Jiho’s phone ringing. Jiho groaned. Shifting, he pulled it out of his pocket.

“What is it, Taeil?”

Jaehyo smiled. He could make out the sound of Taeil’s voice through the tiny phone speaker. If he concentrated, he could listen to the exact conversation. He didn’t feel like doing that though. Right now, Jaehyo just felt drained. The night had barely begun and already he feel like he’d been on a emotional roller coaster. So he just rested, taking the moment to relax and take whatever strength he could from Jiho’s solid presence beside him.

Several minutes passed. Jiho hung up, sighing heavily as he did so. “I will be so glad when those two get their shit sorted out.”

That did not sound like the Jiho he knew. Jaehyo bit back a chuckle. “Okay?” He was curious but he wouldn’t push. Had things changed so much while he was in whatever that state was that Jiho was now getting involved in their boys’ lives?

“Did Jihoon tell you anything?” Jiho sounded tired as he asked that. It made Jaehyo pity the other guy just a tad. Jiho had never been good with emotional sorts of things. It wasn’t exactly Jaehyo’s favorite thing either but he’d at least taken up the role willingly. Besides, helping other people deal with their shit meant Jaehyo didn’t have to think about his own so it was generally a win-win situation.

Reaching over to ruffle Jiho’s hair, Jaehyo smiled and took pity on his lover. “Jihoonie told me some of it,” he said. “I didn’t know you were involved in it.”

Jiho groaned. Loudly and like it hurt. “Unfortunately. Taeil’s been telling me everything from his side of it all.”

Well now that was an interesting way of talking about the situation. Jaehyo looked up at Jiho, studying how he’d reacted. How his voice had sounded. Something inside Jaehyo clicked as he understood something he wasn’t entirely sure if Jiho had picked up on yet. It was an absurd idea and yet it fit so perfectly.

“They’re in love with each other,” Jaehyo said between laughs.

A noise of disbelief came from Jiho. “No.” Then a moment later, even louder and strangled sounding, “ **no**.”

Jaehyo nodded. “Yeah. Looks like they’re a couple of idiots.” Which fit the two of them perfectly. Then it hit him and he realized what he was saying. “Crap. Jihoonie, why?” That boy had awful taste.

“My thoughts exactly,” Jiho agreed. “Except not.”

That made zero sense but Jaehyo felt like his mind was too shattered to even attempt to figure out what that meant. He didn’t want to think about this topic anymore. He didn’t want it to even **be** a topic.

Looking at Jiho, the guy seemed to be in a better mood now. That funk that’d clung to him earlier when Jaehyo had first entered the studio was gone. Good. Jaehyo smiled a little. He liked to see Jiho like this, all relaxed and happy. He felt like an ass for what he was about to ask.

“What happened when you drank from Minhyuk?” The question had been bothering Jaehyo since the night before. He had wanted to ask earlier but this was the first time he’d gotten the chance to.

Jiho’s good mood sobered instantly. He took several long moments to answer. “I can’t lie and say nothing, can I?’

Jaehyo shook his head. Jiho sighed. Jaehyo leaned back against the older vampire, quietly waiting. He could tell this was going to take a little while.


	53. don't find me again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big Bang - Haru Haru
> 
> Life stuff has been affecting my free time. Between the holidays, getting a new job, and finding an apartment/packing, I've barely had time to do anything T_T

The days passed by, one after another. Jiho kept a close eye on Jaehyo but as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into a month, he started relaxing. Outside of that incident with Jihoon in his first week, Jaehyo hadn’t shown any issues with control. There were a few times when he’d confessed that he was close to losing control but he’d never actually lost it.

Jiho relaxed, letting himself believe that things might finally be returning to normal.

He was alone with Taeil in the studio. The guy was singing the guide for Jaehyo’s song. It didn’t have a name yet. Nothing felt right as a name. At least Taeil’s voice was doing the song justice. His voice, so clear and able to hit those impossibly high notes, gave the song a haunting quality to it. This was a song that snuck into your head, beating away as its words continued to break your heart over and over as they repeated endlessly. This song was going to be powerful. It wouldn’t be a hit, not right away. But Jiho could see the future. This would be a song that stuck around. People would be talking about it for 10, maybe even 20, years.

“I can’t tell if I love or hate this song,” Taeil grumbled while they were taking a break.

“Why?” Jaehyo asked from his spot on the couch. Apparently he’d come in at some point and taken up residence on the couch. He’d taken to spending more and more time in the studio with Jiho so it wasn’t a huge surprise to see him there. Usually Jaehyo read. He’d hinted at wanting to take some classes so it was probably studying for that. Jaehyo wasn’t ready to share so Jiho hadn’t pushed. Tonight was different apparently. Tonight he had a sketchbook and colored pencils, which meant he’d been drawing.

Taeil shot the younger vampire a dark look. “Have you heard it?” He asked. Jaehyo glanced in Jiho’s direction and they shared a look. Jaehyo was quite familiar with the song which was apparently a fact that’d slipped past Taeil. Then again, Jiho realized that he hadn’t exactly explained this song’s origins to the human.

“Does it make you think of anyone?” Jiho asked, curious to see if Taeil was good at picking up on clues. All the question did was earn Jiho a dark look.

“Fuck. You.” Taeil was gritting his teeth. Which meant that he was indeed picturing someone as he sung.

“Nope,” Jaehyo called out from his couch. “Not allowed.”

That was one difference between the Jaehyo of old and the one he had now. The Jaehyo of old had been possessive, yes, but it’d always been a quiet possessiveness. Little touches here and there, marks left on Jiho’s skin in hidden places, words spoken in private. Since Jaehyo had returned though, he’d been far more public and vocal. Comments to others about how Jiho was his, leaving bites in very visible spots, hanging around and touching Jiho more. It was a very different experience than the one Jiho was used to but he wasn’t complaining.  
“Believe me, I’m not interested,” Taeil answered. He shot a look that might almost qualify as apologetic Jiho’s way. “No offense.”

Considering Jiho had no interest in Taeil outside of his musical talents, he just shrugged. “None taken. The feeling’s mutual.” Sharing a look with Jaehyo, the older vampire added, “I know I’m not Jihoon.”

The shade of red that Taeil turned was special. It was a nice shade, one that Jiho hadn’t seen before. Honestly, it made the human look adorable. Jiho knew he wasn’t the only one thinking this way because Jaehyo was biting back laughter. Taeil started sputtering nonsense which only encouraged Jaehyo even more.

“So have you thought about what I suggested earlier?” Jiho spun to directly face Jaehyo. The older vampire had decided he could be kind to Taeil and given him a short break. Besides, catching Jaehyo off-guard might actually get Jiho an honest response.

Jaehyo’s laughter died. He was looking at his sketchbook. Playing with a colored pencil. Basically doing anything he could to avoid looking at Jiho. The older vampire sighed, knowing what this meant. “You can’t hide in this house forever.” It was as simple as that.

In the last month, Jaehyo hadn’t left the house. He hadn’t even stepped outside onto the steps. That couldn’t be healthy. He wouldn’t force Jaehyo to go outside. At the same time, Jiho was trying to push Jaehyo just a bit.

“I’m not ready.” Jaehyo looked up. There was fear in his eyes. It was so clear and prominent. This made Jiho feel like an ass for even suggesting the idea.

Taeil snorted from beside Jiho. “You talk like you’re waiting for some magical, perfect moment.” And as much as Jiho wanted to defend Jaehyo’s reluctance, he couldn’t. Not when he agreed with Taeil.

A look of shock spread across Jaehyo’s face. Taeil took it and ran with it. “Nothing ever works out perfectly. You just got to look at what’s going on and take a chance. Just jump.”

Jiho fought the urge to turn Taeil’s words back onto the human. They fit Taeil just as perfectly when it came to the human’s own situation with Jihoon. That whole thing had just reached the point of ridiculous. The two continued to orbit each other, pining and hoping for something they both wanted but were both too afraid to reach out for. All Jiho wanted to do was reach out and bash their heads together. He hadn’t done that yet but something definitely needed to change. Jiho didn’t know how much more of this he could handle.

“It’s easy for you to say,” Jaehyo’s voice, dark and glum, shot back. “Every time I think of leaving, I see myself losing it. I see myself hurting people.”  
Jiho understood that but at the same time, Jaehyo had to face that fear. If he didn’t, he would never grow. It would leave him crippled in a way that Jiho couldn’t help with. “You haven’t hurt any of the boys.”

That earned him another dark look. “The boys are different,” Jaehyo shot back. “And you know how much I’ve struggled.” He knew how much Jaehyo had said he was struggling. Again, outside of that one incident with Jihoon though, Jaehyo hadn’t shown any issues with losing control. Then again, Jiho had been pushing Jaehyo to feed several days a week. It’d been hard on their household and Jiho had taken to feeding exclusively from outside sources. This couldn’t last forever. If Jaehyo could get out and could feed from other sources, that’d help their boys get a little break.

“You call us boys but we’re not kids.” Taeil sounded annoyed.

The vampires shared a look. Without saying a word, Jiho knew what Jaehyo was thinking. Mostly because he was thinking it already too. The humans could deny their youth all they wanted but that didn’t change the fact that they were all so undeniably young. Yukwon was the only one who wasn’t little more than a child but even he was young.

“You need to get out,” Jiho said. “I’ll be with you.” he didn’t exactly trust Jaehyo to leave their property alone. “It’d be good for you.”

“It’s cold…” Jaehyo whined, clearly trying to argue his way out of this.

“You’re dead,” Taeil pointed out. “Aren’t you always cold?”

The scowl Jaehyo shot the human made Jiho laugh. He couldn’t help it. This whole moment, it was perfect. These were the sort of moments he’d so desperately missed these last several months. Seeing these two go back and forth, Jiho felt like things were finally back to normal. Or at least as normal as things could be in a house with two vampires.

\---

Kyung cursed internally when he saw the familiar face standing outside his classroom. There was no getting around this. It sucked that this was what his life had turned into but it was for a good cause. Keeping Minhyuk safe.

“He’s still gone,” Kyung said, walking up to the girl. She called herself Minseo. Apparently all the girls in the hunter group called themselves that. And all the guys were Minhyuk. Because that totally wasn’t creepy at all. “It doesn’t matter what I do,” Kyung added, putting anger in his voice. “He’s gone.”

The girl was short. Even shorter than Taeil. She had long, wavy black hair and a sweet, innocent face. She looked like she should be in middle school. According to Minhyuk, she was older than both of them. And she was also very dangerous. Apparently that innocent, youthful face of hers was effective at getting information.

She frowned. “Seriously? You haven’t heard from my cousin at all?” She frowned, crossing her arms. “I thought he liked you.”

He didn’t say it but Kyung certainly thought that Minseo was lucky that she was a girl. It helped knowing that she was trying to get a rise out of him. She was great at saying things that hurt in an innocent way. Honestly, this girl was scary.

Instead, Kyung smiled at her. It was a cruel thing, full of ice. “I thought so too,” he told her. He was lying through his teeth. He knew exactly where Minhyuk was. He knew how Minhyuk felt about him.

The last month had been a surprising experience for Kyung. He’d never thought he’d be a decent actor but apparently he was good. It helped that he had plenty of annoyance and anger to channel. He still hadn’t quite forgiven Minhyuk. He wanted to. The guy had been nothing but good to him since coming clean about his past. Kyung just had a hard time trusting someone who had used him. And okay, yes, Minhyuk hadn’t really used him but that was kind of what it felt like anyways.

Minseo’s mouth got thin. She wasn’t happy. She’d wanted to rattle him and she was annoyed that it hadn’t worked. Good. Maybe she’d finally give up and let him live his life. Kyung knew he should be glad they were only following him, hoping for a slip up.

Kyung didn’t fully relax until he got home. He had never expected things to be this stressful when he’d first devised this plan. It was definitely more exhausting than he’d thought it would be.

The house was quiet except for some light cursing coming from the kitchen. Kyung recognized the voice and smiled despite himself. Walking to the roo, he stood in the doorway and watched for a few minutes.

“Having fun?” Kyung asked. He laughed at the glare thrown his way.

This was a relatively new development but no one was complaining about it. Minhyuk had grounded himself. He refused to leave the house. In all honesty, it was probably the smartest move. However Minhyuk had quickly grown bored. Thus his quest to teach himself how to cook. He was actually getting decent at it too. No one else seemed to mind either. They were all too happy to eat the food, especially since Minhyuk had also taken to cleaning the kitchen as well (apparently the rest of them made a mess of the place and didn’t put things back in the right spots).  
“I burnt my hand,” Minhyuk growled from the sink. He looked adorable. His hair was sticking up in the front. It looked like he’d gotten frustrated at some point and had run his hand through his hair. From the white smudge of Minhyuk’s cheek, Kyung guessed that today’s project might have included baking.

“On what?” Kyung asked, curious. There wasn’t much a visible mess to help clue him in on whatever it was that had burnt Minhyuk.

Turning the water off, Minhyuk inspected his hand. “I brushed up against the stovetop,” he answered. He sounded embarrassed about that.

Kyung walked over. He set his bag down on a chair and took the burnt hand into his own. The skin was pink but it didn’t look too badly burned. A momentary thought flashed through Kyung’s head. He listened to it. Kissing Minhyuk’s burnt hand, Kyung felt great for a moment. Until he saw the flash of pain on Minhyuk’s face.

“Sorry,” Kyung quickly apologized.

Minhyuk smiled. His dimple showed. That stupid, perfect dimple. Kyung loved it. He missed it. He felt like he never got to see it anymore. The stress of the last month was clearly wearing on Minhyuk. Seeing a smile, a true smile, on Minhyuk’s face was a good sign.

“It’s fine,” Minhyuk answered. “It’s just a little tender, that’s all.”

“What were you making today?” Kyung asked, looking around. He was closer now but still didn’t see anything that indicated whatever it was that Minhyuk had made.

Minhyuk’s cheeks went pink. “I tried to make a cake,” he mumbled.

Now that got Kyung’s attention. “Where is it?” He asked, curious. There was no cake sitting out anywhere.

“Cooling in the fridge,” Minhyuk answered. “It needs to cool before it can be decorated.”

Kyung grinned. He started sliding towards the refrigerator, following his curiosity. A hand shot out and grabbed his arm. “Wait,” Minhyuk said, eyes wide and pleading. That only made the curiosity filling Kyung worse. He itched to look at the cake. But he did like Minhyuk. So even though it killed Kyung, he nodded and stepped backwards.

A little while later, Minhyuk stepped out of the bathroom in just a towel. His wet hair was plastered to his forehead. Kyung stared, unable to tear his eyes away from the delicious sight in front of him. He fought every urge that begged him to touch and taste his boyfriend. Well, he fought it for about 30 seconds. After all, Kyung only had so much self control and he’d used up everything dealing with Minseo and not peeking at the cake.

“You look yummy,” Kyung murmured, pulling his boyfriend over to him. It was annoying how Minhyuk was taller. So Kyung did the only logical thing he had available to him. He took height out of the equation by pulling Minhyuk onto the bed.


	54. i can give you the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heize - And July (feat. Dean, DJ Friz)
> 
> I'm sorry for being so late with this update! Moving and starting a new job has really kicked my butt these last couple of weeks T_T

Jihoon looked at the closed door and shook his head. He didn’t understand those two. He didn’t understand how Kyung could trust someone who had been raised to view their lifestyle as wrong. Granted, Minhyuk had proven himself to be a decent guy. He kept trying to show he wasn’t harmful. Jihoon felt sort of guilty for doubting Minhyuk. He just couldn’t help it. These were times when he couldn’t help but wonder if this was an elaborate setup.

At the same time, Jihoon envied Kyung and Minhyuk. They’d hit a very serious issue. It was the sort of thing that could and probably had caused others to break up before. But those two...they’d stuck together. Jihoon could and did respect that. It made him wonder how a bond between two people could be so strong.

Strong bonds were nothing new to Jihoon. He’d spent the last several years of his life with Zico, Jaehyo, and Yukwon after all. Those three were the epitome of strong bonds. They didn’t count though. They’d been together forever. The idea that a couple of regular humans could have such a strong bond...Jihoon wasn’t sure if that gave him hope or left him feeling depressed. Had he given up on Taeil too soon? Could they have had a relationship as strong as Kyung and Minhyuk’s? The idea felt impossible. He wasn’t weak. But then again, he’d given up when things were tough so maybe he was weak. He hated himself for the thought but he couldn’t exactly deny it.

He went downstairs. The kitchen was messy but useable. Not that it would stay that way. This room had become Minhyuk’s domain. He was starting to get decent at cooking too. That was one very nice, very clear benefit of the (former) hunter living with them. Especially when he made more than enough for everyone.

Yukwon was eating. He had a bowl of something. Whatever it was, it smelled delicious. “Minhyuk-hyung make that?” Jihoon asked.

“Nope.” Yukwon had a goofy grin on his face. “Sunhye made it for me.”

Jihoon had to bite back a groan. This crush of Yukwon’s was incredibly obvious. And as someone who was dealing with heartbreak, it was also absolutely nauseating. He wanted to be happy for Yukwon. Deep down, part of him was happy. Yukwon deserved to happy. They all did.

“Sunhye?” Jihoon repeated. “You must really like her…” He already knew the answer to that. They all knew the answer to that one.

There was something satisfying in the little nod Yukwon gave. This was progress. Even just a week ago, Yukwon wouldn’t have done that. It was clear to all who knew hi that Yukwon was head over heels for this girl. He was barely home nowadays, preferring to spend his time with her. With her dogs. The whole thing was cute. It was also a sign of change.

Jihoon wasn’t an idiot. He recognized the signs. He’d seen them before. This had happened before with others. Having it happen to Yukwon just...there was something different in this.

Spotting Jaehyo, Jihoon excused himself. He needed to get away from all this love and cheer.

“Everything okay?” Jaehyo asked. He sounded concerned.

Jihoon shook his head. “I’m fine,” he said. He wasn’t quite sure if he believed that. From the look on Jaehyo’s face, it was clear he didn’t buy it either.

“What is it?” Jaehyo asked. The way he asked it, Jihoon felt compelled to answer despite not wanting to. It was the stupid parent-y tone that Jaehyo had perfected over his crazy long life.

He hated that voice. Jihoon hung his head. “Things are changing,” he admitted. “It’s weird.”

Jaehyo laughed. “Yeah, a lot’s happened,” he said. “It’s weird to be like this.” He gestured towards himself.

Jihoon looked back towards where Yukwon was. “It’s more than just that,” he said. “Yukwon-hyung is going to leave.”

A sad expression fell across Jaehyo’s face. Slowly he nodded in agreement. “He is.” Then he smiled. “It’s about time he started his life.”

That was an odd thing to say. So Jihoon asked about it. “Started his life?”

Jaehyo nodded. “This place is great,” he said. Not a surprise at all to hear that idea coming from Jaehyo. After all, this was his home and he’d spent forever building it. What he said next was surprising.

“It’s not supposed to be a place where people stay.”

From the way Jaehyo chuckled, something much have shown on Jihoon’s face. “That’s not what I expected you to say,” the human admitted. “I mean, this is your home.”

A slow head nod. A look that was somehow both sad and happy settled on Jaehyo’s face. “It’s my home,” he said, placing a hand on the wall. “But I’m not the one you guys should try to be like.”

Jihoon let himself be honest. “I don’t know if I’ll ever leave this place. It feels like the perfect place.” He meant every word of it too. He might have been reluctant to come here originally but he loved it now. Things had been tough that year when Jaehyo had left them. Jaehyo was back now though and all signs indicated they’d stay good. It was hard to imagine a life anywhere else.

If it was possible, the look on Jaehyo’s face got even sadder. “I wish you wouldn’t say that.” He sounded so sad as he spoke. “This place is supposed to be temporary. And everyone leaves. They have their own paces but Jihoonie, everyone is supposed to leave on day.”

Hearing the old nickname brought a smile to Jihoon’s face. It took him back to a few years ago when he was still a kid and everything could be solved seemingly by magic. He knew he wasn’t a kid anymore but he didn’t mind the throwback. Besides, it reminded Jihoon that he had a home. One that he never wanted to leave. Jaehyo’s words only made the situation all the more confusing.

“You’ve never left,” Jihoon answered.

A pained expression was on Jaehyo’s face. “I haven’t,” he confirmed. “That’s not necessarily the best thing.” He glanced towards the doorway. Jihoon looked over too but didn’t see anything. “I don’t regret my life but there are things I’ve never done because of it either. I don’t want any of you to have regrets.”

“Regrets.” Zico. He was standing in the doorway which was creepy because a moment ago, Jihoon could have sworn it was empty. “Is someone having regrets?” He had a sadness to him that was almost identical to Jaehyo’s.

“Never,” Jaehyo answered. There was something in the way he said it that made Jihoon not believe the younger vampire. Not entirely anyways. “Jihoonie and I were talking about how everyone leaves here eventually.”

Zico came closer. He stopped next to Jihoon. “It’s a sad part of our life,” he admitted. “We have people here for a short time until they’re ready to move on.”

Jihoon wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready to leave this place. He owed so much to these two. Besides, this place was comfortable. At least, it had been up until the Taeil debacle. That was one thing Jihoon still didn’t know how to deal with.

\---

Jihoon just left. He still had a confused expression on his face, looking perplexed as he went upstairs. That was fine. Jiho was more concerned with Jaehyo. He turned his full attention onto his partner. Jiho couldn’t help but doubt the truthfulness of Jaehyo’s earlier words.

He stepped closer, stoppling less than an arm's length away. “Do you have any regrets?” It was too late to change most things but it felt important to get all of this out too.

Jaehyo glanced down. He knew he’d been caught not being entirely truthful. “Can we do this another time?”  
The question left Jiho feeling torn. He felt like they needed to go through this now. On the other hand, he hated making Jaehyo uncomfortable. “I don’t know if it’s something that should wait,” Jiho admitted. Too much time would allow Jaehyo to think.

Jaehyo went quiet and still for several moments. Then he said something completely unexpected. “I’ll go outside with you if you let this go.”

It was a dirty tactic. It was also an effective one. Jiho crumbled immediately, nodding in approval. “Just a short walk,” he said. He wasn’t going to completely stress Jaehyo out. But still, this would be good for Jaehyo.

The air outside was cool. Winter wasn’t quite here yet but it was close. He shuffled closer to Jaehyo, disappointed in the lack of warmth. It’d been a month but it was still sometimes hards to remember that the man wasn’t human anmore. For so long, Jaehyo had been human. He acted the same now and it only made moments like this more jarring. An icy cold hand reached over, taking Jiho’s.

“I’m trying.” Jaehyo’s voice broke the silence. “But you know how hard it can be for me to adjust to new things.” He laughed a little but it wasn’t happy sounding. “Remember when we first became this?” He squeezed Jiho’s hand.

Jiho nodded. Those days had been torture but given everything, they’d certainly been worth it. “I’m not even sure what we’d be called at this point,” Jiho said. What they had, it certainly went beyond simple dating. They’d never really gone through a stage like that. It’d been something serious from the start. They weren’t married either. At least, not in any sort of legal sense. Besides, that didn’t seem to quite fit either.

“Mine. That’s what you are,” Jaehyo answered. “Don’t ever forget that.”

Jiho loved the way those words sounded. He squeezed the hand that held his. “As long as you don’t forget that you’re mine as well,” Jiho replied.

They walked in silence a little longer. It was peaceful out here. They might as well be alone because the only other ones out here right now were the drunk businessmen stumbling homing for a quick nap before they headed back to work. It was a lifestyle Jiho couldn’t wrap his head around. He could never live a life like that. He never had and he would rather walk into the sun than attempt to do it.

“I don’t have regrets,” Jaehyo said as they neared the house. Their house. It didn’t matter how many times Jiho said those words, they sent a little thrill through him each time. Jaehyo’s grip tightened, bringing Jiho back to this moment. “Not really. It would have been nice to live a human life, to have had kids that were actually mine. But that life...it would have been one without you and that would have been far worse.”

A long held fear of Jiho’s was both confirmed and banished att at once with those words. The fact that Jaehyo had wanted kids and a family wasn’t anything new. And with the humans they’d taken in over the years, they’d gotten a family that way. No, Jiho’s fear was that Jaehyo regretted not doing the whole marriage and baby thing that nearly everyone else on the planet did. The only silver lining to make the situation better, to chase away the fear Jiho had held, was the last part Jaehyo said.

He didn’t think it was possible but Jiho fell in love with the man beside him a little more.

They stopped in front of the door. “Want to head in?” Jiho had to ask it.

Jaehyo glanced towards to the door. Then he looked back at Jiho. Shaking his head, the man said the sweetest words Jiho had ever heard. “Let’s stay out a little longer.”

\---

Minhyuk took a deep breath. He was nervous. He hadn’t left this house in a month other than to just go out back to that little patch of earth they had. Laying low, that’s how he’d justified it. That’s how he’d survived it. But he needed to do this.

A quick trip to the phone store Yukwon had told him about. Minhyuk was sick of feeling disconnected from the world. It was just so depressing. He knew it’d been for the best but he was ready to be done with isolation. Besides, having a phone meant he could contact Kyung.

Not knowing what was going on with Kyung throughout the day was the hardest part of it all. He never knew if Kung was safe. If Kyung was in trouble. Having a phone meant he could at least get some reassurances.

Being in public was nerve-wracking. Minhyuk knew he barely looked like his old self thanks to the blond hair. It was longer now too, almost at the point where it could be considered shaggy. The length bothered him and it was killing him to let it get so long. Kyung seemed to like it though. He kept running his fingers through it which was kind of embarrassing.

Having a phone again was weird. Weirder still, he knew there was basically no one ot put in it. He’d add Kyung later when the guy got home. The others from the house seemed like a logical group to add as well.

“Dear, would you mind coming over here for a moment?” An older woman asked, calling out to him. She wasn’t all that old but she was definitely old enough that she could have been his mother. “I need some help moving stuff around but my husband went out for a bit.”

He took a better look at her and the place she was standing in front of. She was a short woman, definitely shorter than even Taeil. Her hair was short and streaked with gray. Laugh lines left wrinkles that made her feel welcoming instead of just looking old. The store she was in front of was a chicken place. He’d seen the name of it before, on bags that the others had brought in. They seemed to like it and it felt like someone was going there nearly every few days. Now Minhyuk understood why. It was really close to the house.

Two things helped make up his mind on how to respond. If this turned out to be a trap, he would be screwed no matter what. But he’d never seen someone as old or as nice looking as this woman in anyone he’d met as part of the hunter group (that should have been his sign when he was younger but he’d been young and naive back then). Also, he just plain didn’t have anything else to do. So Minhyuk nodded and followed her into the small restaurant.

As it turned out, she just wanted some furniture moved and put back so that she could clean the place. It wasn’t hard but he almost smashed his hand when she started talking. “Kyung’s told me about you. About how you two have been seeing each other for awhile now.”

Minhyuk didn’t bother trying to hide his surprise. “You know Kyung?” And even more than that, Kyung was talking about them?

“I know everyone in that house.” There was a brief paused and then she asked an even more surprising question. “How is Uncle Jaehyo?”

That time Minhyuk did whack his knee on the table. He bit back a curse because he got the feeling that this woman wouldn’t appreciate him cursing. “Uncle Jaehyo?” He managed to choke out. This woman knew Jaehyo? That guy was practically the house secret...and she knew him well enough to call him ‘uncle’. Minhyuk looked over the woman in front of him again, reevaluating her. Just who was this woman?

She chuckled. “Surprised you, didn’t I?”

Minhyuk nodded. No need or reason to lie about this. His reaction had been more than clear.

“I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Uncle Jaehyo and Uncle Z,” she said. “I mean that quite literally too. My dad was one of you.”

Minhyuk stared at her. He was having trouble wrapping his head around what she’d just said. She was the child of a former resident? It was crazy and something Minhyuk hadn’t really stopped to consider before. That there could be a future beyond the house for humans. It was probably the hunter brainwashing he’d been subjected to for years. The idea that people only stuck around for a short time and then went on to live normal lives...frankly it sounded completely bonkers. And yet, given what he’d seen of the two vampires he was living with, it fit completely.

“My husband too,” she added. Apparently she was trying to shock him to death. “For a short bit anyways.”

All of this certainly explained how she knew Kyung. About the vampires. It also probably explained why this place was so popular with the other guys.

“He’s fine,” Minhyuk said, returning to her earlier question about Jaehyo. “I don’t think he’s left the house yet but he seems fine.” He didn’t know the vampire that well so it was hard to say for sure.

She made a noise. It was clearly a worried sound. Minhyuk agreed with it completely. He might not have been venturing out of the house either but at least he’d been hiding for the safety of himself and others. He hadn’t been held back by fear.

“What’s your name?” MInhyuk asked. “If you don’t mind me asking and it’s not considered rude.”

She gave a little chuckle. “It’s not rude,” she answered. “My name is Miyoung.”

“Minhyuk,” he replied, feeling like it was only appropriate.

That only made Miyoung laugh. It was a friendly laugh, one that made Minhyuk relax rather than tense up. “I know that,” she reminded him. “Kyung likes to talk about you.”

Oh yeah. Minhyuk flushed in embarrassment. “What’s he said about me?”

Her smile grew. “He likes you. A lot.”

Hearing that, Minhyuk felt his face grow warm. He knew he had to be blushing so he turned his attention back onto the table, trying to straighten it despite the fact that it was fine. His reaction must have amused Miyoung because it sounded like she was trying to bite back laughter.

He spent the next hour helping her. It was nice to be doing work, to be useful in some way. It wasn’t like the stuff he was doing was impossibly hard and it was felt good to be helpful. This whole ‘doing things for others’ thing was still relatively new to Minhyuk but he was noticing that the more he did for others, the better it made him feel in general.

“You know,” she said as they were finishing up, “we could use a younger set of hands around here. Would you be interested in a job?”

He couldn’t help but stare at her in shock. Him, a job? She didn’t even know him. “You want me to work here?” He didn’t bother trying to hide his disbelief.

A little shrug accompanied her next words. “You seem like a good kid. And Kyung’s already vouched for you.”

Having a job _would_ help Minhyuk not go crazy. Thanks to the seriousness of the situation he was in, he’d ended up dropping everything in his life besides Kyung. It’d been a harsh but necessary measure in order to protect Kyung. But now? Minhyuk was ready for more. Today had been a step in the direction of regaining himself. He couldn’t and wouldn’t stay confined to that house forever.

Plus this was a restaurant. “Would you teach me how to cook?” It’d be good to have an actual teacher. Reading recipes and watching videos only did so much.

Miyoung laughed. It was a pretty sound and made him think of a mother. Or at least what he thought a mother might sound like. “We’ll get you in the kitchen doing prep work if you prove yourself. But that won’t be right away.”

He could understand that. Minhyuk nodded. “When do you want me to start?”

A pen and a small pad of paper seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Minhyuk watched her do it and he wasn’t sure where they’d come from. She wrote something down and tore the paper off, handing it to him. It had a few days and times along with a phone number.

“If you don’t show up, I’ll assume you don’t want the job,” she told him. Minhyuk nodded, understanding.

Kyung was in the front room reading something on his computer when Minhyuk returned to the house. Seeing him, Minhyuk felt a surge of affection. Kyung was fully absorbed in whatever it was that he was reading. He was wearing his glasses, biting his lip. The scene was so entirely normal and it was perfect.

Deep down inside himself, Minhyuk felt something click into place. He wanted a life where he got to have this everyday. He had always wanted a normal life, the sort of lives that others had and moaned and groaned about. And now? Now it looked like he might actually be getting that sort of life. Sure he was getting it in a weird way but that didn’t matter. He was still getting it.

He sat next to Kyung, resting his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Thank you,” Minhyuk said, voice soft because he didn’t want to break the magic of this moment. Those two little words didn’t feel strong enough to convey just how much he loved and appreciated this man. They were all Minhyuk had though.

Kyung looked up. Confused, he made a little questioning noise. All that did was warm Minhyuk’s heart more. He laughed. “You’re perfect, that’s all,” he tried to explain to Kyung. Kissing Kyung on the cheek, Minhyuk tried not to let himself be overwhelmed with embarrassment.


	55. i'll be by your side in this dark world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dreamcatcher - You and I

Taeil felt like he was eavesdropping. He knew he wasn’t. Not really. Those two in the middle of the house after all. They weren’t doing anything wrong. They were just sitting there, one on a computer, the other on a phone. They just looked so homey and cozy.

They made him feel lonely.

This house was suffocating at times. It felt like everyone in this house was happy and in love. Everyone except him. That thought bugged him more than he wanted it to.

The sun was just starting to go down so it’d be a little bit of time before he could bug Zico. Even that was getting old though. Zico just kept saying the same things over and over. Talk to Jihoon. Nothing would change unless he talked to Jihoon. And it was so annoying to hear because Taeil **KNEW** that. He knew it quite well. Zico, and Jaehyo, just didn’t understand how difficult a concept that was for Taeil. Those two, they hadn’t had to deal with this whole aspect of life in for-fucking-ever. They hadn’t done this whole bit of being interested in someone but not knowing how that person felt since the dawn of time. (Honestly there were times when he wondered if those two had hatched out of the same damn egg and shared a mind.)

He headed out, needing to put some space between him and this house right now. It was just too much for him right now.

A tent selling tteokbokki called out to him with its delicious smell, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten since breakfast. Ducking into the tent, he nodded when the uncle cooking called out a greeting. And then Taeil spotted who was sitting at one of the tables, already eating.

“Hey,” Taeil greeted as he snagged an empty chair and brought it over.

Jihoon looked up, surprised but trying not to show it. “Hey,” he replied after a moment.

Taeil got food and the two of them sat there, eating in silence. The tent started to fill as people got off work. All around them, conversation flowed but their table was quiet. At some point, they ended up getting more food.

Finally, the whole situation got to Taeil and he had to say something. “Can I just say that it’s really nice to get out of that house?”

Jihoon laughed, loud and booming. Others glanced over at them before turning back to their own tables. “I know what you mean,” Jihoon said, wiping away his tears.

“Everyone’s all…” Taeil didn’t know how to put it.

“Lovey dovey?” Jihoon suggested. Taeil nodded. That was the perfect way to describe the house. It had become the love house and that was just too much. And after that, it got easier to talk.

Jihoon left, returning with a couple of bottles of soju. Not enough to get drunk off of but enough to make life a little more fun.

This was the sort of thing that Taeil both missed and craved. He enjoyed spending time with Jihoon, especially not when there wasn’t pressure. It didn’t feel like he had to be something he wasn’t. Taeil could just relax and be himself.

It was probably the alcohol in his system. Had to be. He couldn’t look away from Jihoon’s lips. The younger guy kept licking them, drawing Taeil’s attention to them each and every time he did so. He was laughing and talking but it was impossible to concentrate of Jihoon’s words. Not when all Taeil really wanted to do right now was kiss those pretty lips again.

He could feel the feelings bubbling up inside of him. They wanted to come out. It hurt, trying to restrain himself. Holding these feelings back. Taeil squeezed his thigh, trying to distract himself. It didn’t really help.

Jihoon asked a question. He was looking at Taeil expectantly. Crap. “Sorry, what was that?” Taeil asked. He wanted to cringe in embarrassment but he ha enough self-control to stop himself from doing that at least.

“I asked if you were ready to leave.” Jihoon sounded amused. Looked amused too.

Oh good. That was a question Taeil could handle. “Sure,” he said, nodding. “Ready to head back to the house? Or...not?”

“Not. Please not,” Jihoon answered a little too quickly. “I like Kyung-hyung and the others but they’ve all been unbearable lately.”

Yep. There were no arguments from Taeil about that. “Kyung and Minhyuk were curled up together on the couch when I left.” Taeil could only imagine what those two were up to now.

Jihoon groaned.

“My thoughts exactly,” Taeil said with a nod. “At least we were never annoying like that.”

Jihoon nodded. “Yeah. We just hid in your room and did stuff there. Didn’t bug anyone.”

They’d skipped the whole relationship part of things. Taeil could recognize that now. They’d just jumped straight into bed and it might have worked for a relationship where they just used each other for sex but they’d tried to involve feelings too and that just didn’t work. And maybe that had been their problem. “Ever think that might have been our problem?”

Jihoon stopped in the street, turning to look at Taeil. The pressure of the younger man’s gaze made Taeil itch. He fought not to squirm. He didn’t want to appear weak. Not in front of anyone but especially not in front of Jihoon. It was just...when Jihoon looked at him that way, it made Taeil feel like they were the only two people in the entire universe. Everything just fell away except for the two of them.

Clearly Jihoon was dangerous to Taeil’s health and sanity.

“Maybe,” Jihoon finally said after what felt like forever.

Something inside Taeil cracked. It hurt to look at Jihoon right now. All that did was remind Taeil of what had been. Of what could have been. He could be strong though. He wouldn’t show how much that one single word left him feeling. Jihoon couldn’t be allowed to see the devastation Taeil felt.

They ended up inside a complex full of stores. It was busy as people went about, doing their shopping. No one paid them any attention. Taeil felt more alone right now than he’d ever felt in his life. He wanted to run away but he was trapped. Doing that would only draw unwanted attention to himself.

Jihoon suggested they stop in a houseware store. Not having anything better to do and wanting to stick close to Jihoon, Taeil shrugged and followed the younger man into the store.

Was this going to be his life? Trailing after Jihoon like a lovesick puppy, having his heart continually broken in little moments? It sounded absolutely dreadful. That wasn’t a life Taeil wanted to subject himself to.

He stepped close to Jihoon. Close enough to have an almost private conversation in the busy store.

“I still like you,” Taeil said softly. He hoped his voice wasn’t shaking. It was hard to tell because he was practically vibrating with nerves.

Jihoon needed a few moments to realize that Taeil wasn’t kidding. When he realized that, his eyes widened in surprise. He was gaping. It was enough to make Taeil feel roughly as large as an ant.

Uncomfortable, Taeil started to step away. This had been a horrible, terrible, absolutely awful idea and he’d clearly been an idiot for speaking up. When he got back to the house, he’d yell at Zico and Jaehyo. Let them know just how stupid and bad their idea had been. They had no idea what they were talking about. And Taeil was the one paying the price.

Jihoon’s large hand reached out, grabbing Taeil’s coat.

\---

He didn’t know exactly what to say or do. This situation was so entirely unexpected. Sure, Jihoon had hoped for something like this. He’d just never expected that something like this would actually happen? How was he supposed to handle something like this?

Jihoon could feel his heart pounding furiously in his chest. He could hardly breathe. Taeil was staring at him, his eyes big and so beautifully brown. They made Jihoon feel a whole new fluttering of nerves. There was fear in those eyes though. That fear broke Jihoon’s heart. He was the reason for it. He wanted to say something that would magically make everything perfect.

As much as he wanted to, Jihoon found it impossible to speak. So he gripped Taeil’s jacket. _Please understand._ He was holding on as tight as he could. He had the feeling that if he let go now, Taeil would vanish forever and that terrified Jihoon.

“What?” Taeil’s voice was a mix of gruff and confusion.

Jihoon’s voice was still refusing to cooperate. So he just held on, not letting Taeil get away from him.

“Let go.” The curiosity was gone now. There was just that lonely, hard, gruff tone that hurt to hear. “I don’t need your pity.”

But it wasn’t pity. Jihoon longed to scream that at the top of his lungs, the other people in in this store be damned.

“Don’t leave.”

It was a physical relief to be able to get that out. Jihoon loosened his grip, the coat falling through his fingers. “I...hyung…”

“I said,” Taeil repeated himself through gritted teeth, “don’t pity me.”

Jihoon shook his head. “That’s not it at all,” he answered. His voice must have gotten louder because a nearby saleswoman looked in their direction. Something in their situation must have told her to stay away because she quickly walked over to another set of customers. Looking at Taeil, he let out a frustrated noise. He couldn’t tell if it was a sigh or a groan or a moan. It was just frustrated. “I don’t pity you, hyung.” Just the opposite in fact.

“What is it then?” Taeil growled. The sound reverberated through Jihoon’s bones. Hearing Taeil use that sort of tone made it hard for Jihoon to think straight.

There was no reason to be so afraid. Taeil had already told Jihoon what he’d dreamed of hearing. Yet Jihoon found himself terrified. He closed the gap between them, standing close enough that one would overhear him. “I’m the same way, hyung.”

Taeil looked wary and confused. Clearly he either didn’t understand or he didn’t believe. Jihoon wanted to scream. Or kiss Taeil. Only problem with that - they were in public. So he did the next best thing. He tried to explain again.

“I...I still like you too,” Jihoon said. He felt like he was going to puke. Why was this so nerve-wracking? And yet it was.

Taeil was staring. It was a good look on him.

The air between them was uncomfortable. Not bad, just awkward. Jihoon wasn’t sure what to do - where they could even go from here. They had feelings for each other. So what was the next step?

Leaving the store, they walked towards the house in silence. It was a painful sort of silence because Jihoon wanted to say something. Anything. He just wasn’t sure what to say. In a situation like this...it was hard. He’d never really felt like he was in limbo like this before. Part of him desperately wanted to ask the question ‘what are we?’ But at the same time, he was afraid of what the answer to that question might be. So he stayed quiet.

“I’m not good at relationships,” Taeil finally said after the longest time, breaking the quiet. “You know this.”

Yeah. Jihoon was well aware of that fact. He’d gotten some first hand experience with it before and gotten burned in the process.

“I know,” Jihoon agreed. He paused then added, “I don’t know if I’m any better.”

Taeil snorted. “So we’re a mess.”

Jihoon laughed. He couldn’t help it. Taeil was right though. They’d been a mess. “Basically.”

They left the store, walking out into the cold now night air. Walking for a little while in a quiet that was comfortable, it felt like something was happening but Jihoon wasn’t entirely sure what. They ended up in front of the house. Jihoon didn’t want to go in just yet though. He was afraid that by going in there, they would just end up in this same state of whatever it was that they were currently in now. In whatever limbo hell this was. Still, he had to ask it. “Want to go in?”

Taeil looked up at the house. “Not really…” he sounded roughly the same as Jihoon felt.

“I know the feeling,” Jihoon said, trying to ease the situation.

They walked past the house. No talking to each other still. The awkwardness of earlier was completely gone and what they had now could almost be called companionable. Jihoon relaxed. Then, once his brain had a chance to be stupid it seized the opportunity. “What are we?”

Taeil didn’t respond right away. Jihoon sincerely hoped the older guy was just taking his time to think. It had to be good sign. It just had to.

“I don’t know,” Taeil finally admitted. “I really don’t know where to go from here. This is all...not a situation I’ve been in before.”

Jihoon was almost certain they were in a position that no one else had ever been in. “Do we try dating again?”

He wanted to try again. At the same time, he was scared. THey’d done this once before and it hadn’t gone well.

“I’m not sure if you can call what we did dating,” Taeil answered. Jihoon wanted to argue the point but found he couldn’t. Taeil was right. They’d said they were dating but they’d just been using each other for sex and misery. That wasn’t a relationship.

“We could go slow this time,” Jihoon suggested. “Do the sorts of things couples are supposed to do.” Like get to know each other. He didn’t say it but he definitely thought it.

Taeil nodded slowly. “We could try,” he agreed.

\---

Jihoon and Taeil came into the house together. There was something different about them though. Something that Jaehyo couldn’t quite place. It took far too long for him to realize that the awkward tension that had existed between them had gone. Which pointed towards one thing. Jaehyo smiled, more relieved than he’d realized he’d be. He leaned over, pressing his head against Jiho’s.

“Jihoonie and Taeil sorted things out,” he told the other vampire.

Jiho looked up, a confused frown on his face. Jaehyo repeated himself. This time, Jiho heard him. A disbelieving grin spread across his face as he said, “it’s about fucking time.” A sentiment that Jaehyo could get behind.

Having those two on good terms felt like another puzzle piece clicking into place. Life had been messy and disruptive for so long. Finally it looked like life was settling into something that actually sounded like something liveable. Relief spread through Jaehyo at the thought. He could handle a return to normalcy.

“What’s got you so happy?” Jiho asked. He had a goofy grin of his own as he watched Jaehyo.

So Jaehyo told him. “It looks like life’s becoming normal and peaceful again.”

Jiho groaned but it sounded almost sappy. “You’re going to jinx it,” he warned.

The only response Jaehyo had to that was to laugh. “Not anymore,” he shot back. “Since you said that, it won’t happen.”

The smile Jiho sent his way would have been enough to turn Jaehyo’s knees into jello. Good thing he was already sitting. Then again, all that did was make Jaehyo want to melt onto the other vampire.

Definitely an adjustment. Jaehyo remembered how much he’d hated being touched when they first met. Then he’d gotten used to touch. Now, ever since he’d turned, he practically lived off touch When he thought about it this way, he made him appreciate Jiho even more.

“You’re amazing,” Jaehyo murmured, knowing that Jiho could hear him.

Jiho rolled his eyes. “And why are you bringing it up?” He asked. He sounded happy to hear it though.

Jaehyo felt his face warm a little. “Just thinking,” he answered. “Mostly about how much I’ve changed since we first met.”

“You won’t recognize yourself,” Jiho agreed.

He wasn’t wrong. Jaehyo had certainly changed a lot from the distrustful, starving boy he’d once been. “I wouldn’t,”Jaehyo said. “Back when we met, I couldn’t even imagine a life beyond the next day.”

Jiho slid an arm around him, hugging him. “And now you’re going to live forever.”

Those words had a lovely ring to them. “I have a home.” He put some extra emphasis on that last word. As soon as he said it, his body tingled. It was probably just Jaehyo’s imagination but it felt like there was a sort of power in that word.

Beside him, Jiho chuckled. “You’ve always had a home here.” it was such a cheesy, greasy thing to say. Jaehyo wanted to groan but he bit it back. Mostly because when he heard it, the statement filled Jaehyo with warm, fuzzy feelings.

It was probably those warm feelings that led him to make his suggestion. “Want to head out for a bit?” Just a short walk or something?” Internally, he was cursing at himself. He knew that JIho would be happy to hear the request. They had only gone outside that one time. Jiho hadn’t pushed to go again but it was something that would help him see that Jaehyo was back to himself.

They slipped outside, not mentioning anything to the humans. It helped that they hadn’t run into any of the boys. At times, it felt like some of them were more invested in Jaehyo’s life than Jaehyo himself was. He loved them all dearly but his life wasn’t supposed to be the stuff of house gossip.

The air outside was cold. Cold and fierce. It seemed to bite through the layers Jiho wore, reaching all the way inside and gripping his very essence. He shivered.

“Yeah, it’s a bit cold,” Jiho’s voice chuckled. He sounded like he was fighting back shivering himself. “Winter’s here.”

Any other time, Jaehyo would have been excited by those words. Winter meant longer nights. More time with Jiho. Right now, it meant more time for Jaehyo to spend stuck in his own head, trying to figure this new life out. It wasn’t exactly his preference but he’d deal with it. He had to.

A young girl seemed to melt out f the wall just a little ahead of them. She looked almost child-like, a fact that was no doubt helped by her short stature. Her hair was braided, one of each side of her head. She wore a school uniform but something about it didn’t fit. It was her eyes. They looked old and out of place on a face that looked so young.

For a brief moment, Jaehyo thought that she might be another vampire or possibly a member of one’s household. Then she spoke.

“I never expected this,” she said, stepping towards them. It took a few moments for Jaehyo to realize that there was something off about her scent. She smelled almost acrid if such a thing could even be possible. He couldn’t tell what it was, just that whatever it was, it was **WRONG**.

She stopped in front of them, just out of reach. Her attention was fully on Jiho and she was staring, a look of pure wonder on her pretty face. “I can’t believe it,” she said. Jaehyo wasn’t sure who she was speaking to because it didn’t feel like she was talking to either of them. “The picture of you in your file is over 100 years old but you look almost exactly the same.”

At those words, Jaehyo immediately went on edge as an understanding dawned on him. He watched this girl, wary. She wasn’t good news. Not with those words. Beside him, Jiho stiffened as well. There was only one explanation for her and it wasn’t a good one. This little girl? Was a hunter.

“This is incredible,” she said. “Just a rumor but I get to be the one to confirm it.” The girl was grinning as she looked at Jiho. Something in that grin was terrifying. She moved to pull something out of her pocket.

She never got the chance.


	56. stop testing me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dreamcatcher - Good night
> 
> We're almost done! Just a couple of chapters left and this journey will over T_T

One moment, Jaehyo was beside him. The next, the man was holding the girl and drinking from her.

Jiho wanted to call out, to pull Jaehyo off. He couldn’t. She was a danger to them. Clearly she was part of Minhyuk’s hunter organization. Letting Jaehyo drink from her would help them by letting them learn what she knew. At least, that’s what Jiho told himself as he watched it all happen.

There was something else that held him back. Jaehyo wasn’t the one looking out of those eyes. No, there was someone else looking at Jiho. Some creature who had claimed this girl as his kill. Knowing this girl was going to die was an odd realization.

Jiho took a few tentative steps forward. All that did was earn him a growl. Jaehyo stepped back, dragging the girl with him.

The smell of blood was thick in the air. Something about it was wrong but Jiho couldn’t place why. Besides, his attention was more on Jaehyo at the moment. Well, Jaehyo and the girl. Up until a moment ago, she’d been struggling against Jaehyo. Her neck was a torn, bloody mess. It bore a passing semblance to ground meat. But now...she’d stopped struggling. From the looks of things, Jiho guessed that she had probably passed out from blood loss. It made a lot of sense. Her blood was everywhere, covering her, Jaehyo, and the ground.

Jiho’s heart clenched painfully as he watched the scene before him. This whole thing was a wreck. One that he hadn’t been able to stop and the only saving grace about this situation was how cold and late it was. No one else was around. No witnesses to this bloody scene.

A loud thud jolted Jiho out of his thoughts. Jaehyo and the girl were on the ground now. Neither one of them were moving. Seeing them there was enough to shove Jiho into action.

He went over to them. The girl was dead. Jiho could tell with just a glance. He’d seen enough death before. Then he turned his full attention onto Jaehyo.

The younger vampire was impossibly pale, even more than normal. He wasn’t breathing either. That bit wasn’t entirely a concern. They didn’t need to breathe after all. However Jaehyo was as still as a corpse and that was the part that Jiho didn’t like.

All of this also left Jiho with a problem.

He had two bodies and a blood-soaked group. They couldn’t be. He had to deal with this situation. **IMMEDIATELY.**

He didn’t even know where to begin. Clearly the girl’s body needed to be dealt with. She couldn’t stay on the street. If anyone came across this scene, they were all royally screwed. He couldn’t just leave Jaehyo here, alone. There was no telling how long he’d stay in this state. Besides, he was covered in blood.

“I need your help.”

It hurt to say those four words. Jiho wasn’t sure who else to turn to.

“Zico?” Daesung’s confused voice answered after a moment.

Jiho started to nod before he realized the human couldn’t see him. “Yeah,” he answered. “There’s been a situation tonight.”

Daesung’s breath hitched just slightly. If Jiho were human, he doubted he’d have even heard it. “Is it Jaehyo?”

If there was one thing right now that could make Jiho smile, it was that. The obvious concern for Jaehyo warmed Jiho’s heart. Ot at least, it would have if he weren’t so worried for Jaehyo right now. “Yes,” Jiho finally said. He felt a little like a broken record right now. Sharing their location, he hung up.

Would Daesung come? It was hard to say. He’d always gotten along with Jaehyo. But they were different households. Coming here would only put Daesung in danger.

Someone was calling out. Saying something. It took far too long for Jiho to recognize that it was Yukwon speaking. To him. Jiho wanted to turn and see what was going on behind him. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the scene in front of him. It didn’t matter that nothing was happening.

Yukwon appeared in front of him. He was saying something but it was funny. Whatever it was that Yukwon was saying, Jiho couldn’t hear him. His ears were simply refusing to work. That...it wasn’t a new thing to the vampire but there was no doubt that it was a weird experience.. The human seemed to recognize that Jiho wasn’t hearing him. He shook the vampire.

Something in doing that made the world come roaring back to working. The smell of wrong blood, hanging thick in the air, made him want to gag. There were more humans here too. Yukwon hadn’t been alone apparently.

Yukwon forced Jiho to look at him. “Get Hyung home,” he ordered. There was an odd look in his eyes. Slightly wild and hurt and something else that Jiho wasn’t sure of.

Normally Jiho would have chafed at being ordered to do something, especially by a human. This was not a normal situation though. He was glad to let Yukwon handle this because Jiho wasn’t sure what to do. It helped that Yukwon wanted him to take care of Jaehyo because right now, that was all Jiho could focus on.

He wasn’t entirely sure how they got home. It felt like one moment, they were on the street in the middle of that mess. Then the next, they were in their rooms. Jaehyo was stretched out on their couch, still in his bloody clothes. Jiho couldn’t quite bring himself to do that though. He was afraid to look away from Jaehyo right now.

Thoughts of how Jaehyo looked almost identical to the way he’d looked the night he’d died wouldn’t leave Jiho. This was a sight he thought that he would never have to see again. Looking at Jaehyo, it was impossible to tell if the man was truly dead or not. And that was terrifying.

Death wasn’t supposed to be able to touch them.

“The whole point of all this was that it’s supposed to last forever.” Jiho sat on the floor next to the couch. He could tear his eyes away. And now that he wasn’t in such a panic, trying to digest the situation, he had another thought that just would not stop bouncing around in his head.

_Don’t leave me. Don’t be like him. You promised._

\---

Yukwon wasn’t sure what was going on. All he knew was that this was a mess. Half an hour ago, he’d been laying in bed, reading some manga. In general, minding his own business. The next, he’d felt this...it was hard to explain what it was. He just knew that he had to find Jaehyo. Thankfully, that part was fairly simple. The vampires had been practically at their front door.

He had no clue what to do. A black car started driving down the narrow alley towards them. Yukwon started cursing which got Kyung and Minhyuk’s attention. They’d followed him out and a small part of Yukwon was surprised when Kyung joined him in cursing.

Two men stepped out of the car. Yukwon didn’t recognize either of them. However he did recognize one thing about them. He wasn’t sure what tipped him off about it but he was absolutely certain that these two were incredibly old. They were still human but they were old. That told Yukwon a couple of things. These two belonged to a vampire. And that meant that one of them was probably Jaehyo’s Daesung. Why were they here? How had they’d known to come? It was a mystery to Yukwon but he wasn’t going to complain.

“Daesung?” Yukwon called out, testing his theory.

The taller of the two raised a hand. “Jaehyo and Zico?” He asked, looking around.

“Inside already,” Yukwon answered. “Did Zico call you?” It was the only thing that made any sort of sense in this situation.

The taller guy, Daesung, nodded. Waving a hand at the bloody mess and dead body on the ground, he asked the question that every single one of them was no doubt thinking. “What happened here?”

The guy with Daesung took a few steps away, heading towards their car, and pulled out a phone. Something about him seemed familiar but Yukwon had no idea why.

Yukwon looked at the girl’s bloody body. It was hard not to be sick. This sight was unlike any other he’d ever seen in his life. He never wanted to see something like this again either. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Hyung was laying on top of her, covered in blood, when I got out here.”

Minhyuk walked closer to the body, taking a better look at the scene apparently. He was almost deathly pale. Not a good sign and Yukwon wondered if the guy would pass out. Kyung disappeared into the house. He didn’t say why but honestly? It was probably just to get away from this scene.

Slowly, Minhyuk walked back over to Yukwon. He stopped at Yukwon’s side and leaned in. “We need to get this cleaned up right away,” he murmured, his voice low enough that Daesung wouldn’t be able to hear them. “She’s a hunter.”

Those words made Yukwon dizzy with shock. He reached out, using Minhyuk to steady himself. “You know her?” He whispered back. Had to be. If Minhyuk recognized her and knew that she was a hunter then he had to know her too. It only made sense.

Minhyuk nodded. Of course he did. He looked like he was going to be sick. “Yeah,” he said. His voice sounded strained and for a moment Yukwon wondered what was going through the guy’s head. “Yeah, I knew her. She’s...not good news.”

Well no shit. She was a hunter. Of course she was bad news. And that was before she ended up dead practically on their front steps.

Daesung’s companion rejoined them, handing his phone over to the other guy. The companion, a handsome fellow who looked like he was usually happy and smiled a lot, wasn’t happy now. In fact, he was giving Minhyuk a dark, nasty look. Minhyuk did a double-take and then he gripped onto Yukwon. Hard. It felt like he might fall down if he wasn’t holding onto Yukwon.

Great. This situation was already royally fucked up and it felt like it was about to get even worse.

Thankfully, Kyung reappeared. He had a small shovel in one hand, a bottle of bleach in the other. Yukwon’s almost relief lasted approximately a quarter of a second. He couldn’t help but be on edge when Kyung stopped, his shovel clattering loudly as it bounced off the ground.

“Holy shit,” the preacher’s son cursed. “You’re okay.”

Oh. Okay? Apparently Kyung had a history with this guy? Minhyuk too from the look of things. Yukwon decided right then and there that he didn’t want to know. Somehow it felt safer to know as little as possible about their situation.

The mystery guy, the one that apparently knew Kyung and Minhyuk, gave a curt nod. He looked like he might say something but Daesung rejoined them. “He wants her,” the guy said, wincing even as he said the words. Clearly he wasn’t a fan of this idea. “We’re supposed to bring her back with us.” He turned to Yukwon and asked the silliest question ever. “You don’t mind, do you?”

This whole situation was just plain insane. There was no other way to describe it. Still, unless his ears were deceiving him, these two had just offered to take care of the body. That was a solution to this particular problem that Yukwon could handle. Still, he had to ask it. Looking at Minhyuk, he asked, “does she have any family?”

The former hunter shook his head. “No hunter does,” he said. “It’s how they get picked.” Which meant that Minhyuk didn’t have a family either. That one little fact was something Yukwon filed away. He felt like he might need it one day.

Yukwon turned his attention back to Daesung. “You sure you want her?”

Daesung shook his head. Odd. But then he clarified things. “G wants her.”

Yeah. He had no idea who this ‘G’ was. If he had to guess, it was probably the vampire that these two lived with. It wasn’t like they were giving an explanation either. Still, if anyone knew what to do with a body, another vampire household was a decent bet.

It was amazing how quickly they got the bloody body loaded into the black car. The two other humans left once her body was in the backseat. They disappeared as quickly as they’d appeared, leaving more questions than they’d answered.

“You okay?” Kyung asked, his attention on Minhyuk.

Minhyuk was just staring at the messed up, bloody snow. He didn’t answer.

Yukwon took the shovel. Moving would help. At least, that was his hope. If he could do something, he might almost be able to forget that hell had just been unleashed on their doorstep.

“I didn’t expect to see him again,” Kyung went on, still talking to Minhyuk. “But he looks good.”

This was awkward. Yukwon felt like he was eavesdropping. Which was silly considering they were having this conversation all around him.

By the time the mess was dealt with, Yukwon was exhausted. All the adrenaline and fear he’d been running on before had vanished, leaving him just drained and tired down to his bones. Once the mess was gone, Yukwon went to his room and locked the door.

\---

Watching Jaehyo lay on the spare bed, Jaehyo’s old one that was still hanging around because neither of them had had the motivation to get rid of it yet, Jiho felt a fear that he’d hoped he would never feel again. The man looked dead. And yes, while Jiho knew that both of them were already technically dead, this felt different. This felt more like a true death, the kind that people didn’t come back from.

Anger rose in the vampire. Jaehyo wasn’t supposed to be dead. Not like this. He was going to live forever. With Jiho. That was the plan. The one they’d already been heading towards whether Jiho had wanted to accept it or not.

The last several weeks had been going so well too. Sure there had been that little scare with Jihoon but overall, it had felt like he’d gotten his lovable, goofy Jaehyo back. Remembering the look in Jaehyo’s eyes as he drank from that girl, it made Jiho go cold. Seeing that had been a sobering reminder that Jaehyo was still essentially a baby, at least in vampire terms.

Her blood still covered Jaehyo. It’d been a couple of hours since everything had happened and Jiho hadn’t been able to bring himself to leave the other’s side out of fear. Her blood smelled odd. Wrong somehow. Jiho hated it and now that he’d had a little bit of time to calm down, he hated how the girl and her odd smell clung to his Jaehyo.

It was so impossibly hard. No one would understand how it left Jiho feeling physically pained to leave Jaehyo’s side but he did, leaving to get some pajamas, a wash cloth, and a small bucket full of warm water.

Wiping away the blood in soft, gentle strokes, Jiho was hit by a memory from a very long time ago. These memories hadn’t hit him when he’d given Jaehyo sponge baths while the man had been wild and out of his mind. Probably because Jaehyo hadn’t been laying like a corpse back then. But now, now it just reminded Jiho of another time he’d sat and taken care of someone like this. A person who had literally been on death’s door. Back then, Jiho had been wiping away sweat instead of blood though. It was all he had been allowed to do. He wasn’t allowed to cure the sickness. No, he’d just been allowed to watch that person die.

Jiho tried to wipe the thought, the memory, from his head but it was impossible. In a way, the situations were identical which was probably why he couldn’t it get off his mind. This time and that one were completely different but at the same time, they were the same. The biggest difference? Back then, it’d been Taewoon lying in the bed.

Jiho scowled at the name. Even thinking it was bad. All it did was bring more pain which was the exact opposite of what he needed right now. What he needed right now was for Jaehyo to open his eyes and tell him that everything would be okay. That was Jaehyo’s job after all - make everything alright.

This was even worse than the last time Jaehyo had looked this way. Last time, the night Jaehyo hadn’t returned when he was supposed to, Jiho had always known that true death was a possibility. He hadn’t wanted to admit it but he’d known. Now? Now they were in an entirely new and unknown situation.

Jiho had never heard of a vampire collapsing while feeding from a human. Granted he wasn’t exactly an expert in vampire stuff. He might be one but he only had his own experiences to draw from and this wasn’t something that had ever happened to him.

He wiped at the imaginary blood still clinging to Jaehyo’s mouth. He’d gotten all it already but doing this...it was better than doing nothing. At least by doing this, Jiho felt like he was actually doing something useful. Just sitting here would make him go crazy but he couldn’t bear the thought of just leaving Jaehyo alone either.

Jiho was scared.

That realization floored the vampire. Fear was not an emotion he was used to. He hadn’t had any reason to experience it in a very long time. The closest he’d come had been a year ago. When Jaehyo had left.

“You really love to worry me, don’t you?” Jiho murmured as he tried to not let this get to him. He was failing and he knew it.

Dumping the bloody water, he returned to the same sight he’d left. He was full of a nervous energy that just would not leave him alone. Pacing felt good. It didn’t do anything but it helped keep his nerves from overwhelming him.

He knew he should go figure out what was going on with the body. If he was in his right mind, that would have been his first priority. After all, a dead body at their door wasn’t exactly a good thing. He paused for a moment, snorting in amusement. Who was he kidding? It was the worst thing that’d ever happened to them and it never would have been his priority anyways. Not when Jaehyo was involved. His priorities had always been skewed. At least, they had been ever since he’d seen a cold teenager, huddling under a disgusting blanket, trying to hide from everyone.

“You’ve come a long way since those days,” Jiho said to the hopefully sleeping body. Then again, Jiho had come a long way since then too.

He had been young. An adult by human standards but he hadn’t felt like one. He’d been trying to catch himself and land on his feet. For the first time in his life, he’d been all alone and it’d been so impossibly difficult. Then he’d spotted Jaehyo. This...everything...he hadn’t been looking for the life he’d ended up getting. No, back then, he noticed someone struggling and the part of him that was still human had wanted to reach out and help. A little help was all Jiho himself had wanted.

He looked down at Jaehyo. Now that he was clean, he looked like he was asleep. _My sleeping beauty_ he thought. Immediately he burst out laughing, unable to hold the panic and fear back any longer. He could never say those words around Jaehyo. The guy would kill Jiho.

The laughter helped. Jiho felt calmer as he sat on the edge of the bed. _Please wake up._ He squeezed the man’s hand, willing that one thought with his entire being.


	57. i tried to show you that i can turn my back on you but it's killing me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iKon - Killing Me
> 
> Only 1 chapter left! Expect it sometime over the next 48 hours (also, this fic turns 1 year old in 2 days @_@ )
> 
> \---

Jiho looked at the human standing before him. At the outstretched hand. The guy offering it.

“Why?” The young vampire finally asked, coming to his senses.

Taewoon flashed a grin. “You’re basically my brother,” he answered. His eyes flickered towards the building behind Jiho, the place they both lived. “Besides,” he added, dropping his voice to barely more than a whisper. That was an impressive feat for Taewoon too because the guy had a naturally loud, booming voice. “The Master is getting ready to go back home.”

He was leaving? This was the first Jiho was hearing of it. He said as much to the human and received a grimace in response. “It’s the whisper going through the humans,” Taewoon admitted.

With those few words, Jiho understood the situation clearly. And a sense of loneliness that he’d been trying to ignore hit him. HARD. Ever since his mother had died, he’d barely had anything to do with the humans here. She’d been the tie that had connected him to that part of his life. The one who reminded Jiho that he wasn’t some dangerous monster. With her gone, that connection had been cut. Besides, what would he say to the humans? Nearly all of them were new, had only known him as a vampire.

Taewoon shifted which caught the young vampire’s attention. A hunger hit Jiho, reminding him that it’d been a couple of days since he’d last fed. A struggle bloomed inside him as he fought his instincts to reach out and grab the other guy, drinking him. Jiho knew he couldn’t do that though. Taewoon was the closest he had to a friend. To family.

How sad was that?

Jiho closed his eyes, needing a moment.

“It will make the Master mad,” he finally said. Not that it was something they both didn’t already know.

“He’ll either kill me or take me with him if I stay,” Taewoon replied. “I don’t like either of those options. And...he’s still pissed at you about…”

The human’s voice trailed off. Not that he needed to continue. They both knew what he was referring to. And Taewoon wasn’t wrong. Their master, Jiho’s maker, had been beyond upset when he’d found Jiseok dead. He’d almost killed Jiho. In the month and a half since then, the Master’s temper had been unpredictable at best.

“If we leave, we live,” Taewoon said, summing up the situation. Then he grinned. “Besides, you’re going to need me.”

That was the truth. There was no way Jiho could safely navigate the world in his current state. He needed someone who could walk in sunlight. Taewon knew him. The guy understood his needs. They’d lived together in this household fo years. Taewoon had basically been brought in to be Jiseok’s replacement after the Master had turned Jiseok. If Jiho had been younger or more childish, he would have resented the guy. Instead, they’d bonded. Taewoon was right. They were brothers in all but blood.

“When do you plan on leaving?” As soon as Jiho asked that question, he realized he’d already made his decision. He was going with Taewoon.

“Tonight.”

That one little word was enough to send a slight panic through Jiho. He did his best to hide it. “That’s not a lot of time.”

Taewoon nodded. “I can’t stick around. If he feeds from me, he might figure out my plan.” Jiho nodded, understanding. It sucked but it was something he could (and did) understand.

They ran that night, slipping out when all eyes were watching other events going on in the house. It was the single most stressful moment of Jiho’s life. Fear and adrenaline were coursing through him. He could smell the same emotions coming from Taewoon as well.

Those first few months were difficult. Actually, that was an understatement. There were no words that could accurately describe just how impossible life for them was. They had nothing.

Jiho found luck as a singer. He would perform on the streets at night and Taewoon would collect money. Tell people about Jiho, getting them interested in him. At one point, the human bought a little drum and started to accompany Jiho. Slowly, little bit by little bit, they carved a life for themselves.

And Jiho was happy.

For the first time since he was a child, Jiho was able to enjoy life. The days passed - or rather, the nights. They fell into a routine and it was almost easy to forget that he wasn’t completely human anymore. Jiho was smart and adapted though. He found ways to feed. He took little but drank from many and it worked.

Time passed. Honestly, Jiho barely even noticed. He didn’t change. Physically, he was stuck in the same body he’d died it, forever a young man. As time went on, he realized how lucky he’d been to get turned when he had been. He was at that cusp of potential. Young enough to take on the world and anything but not old enough where he was expected to have responsibilities.

Taewoon was different though. He’d always been a little older than Jiho. Lately, Taewoon’s age was starting to show. He had lines on his face. He’d gotten a little taller. And he just looked old. Jiho wasn’t sure how else to put it.

Taewoon seemed to think that Jiho didn’t notice the slight limp. The way Taewoon always seemed to be tired now.

It was hard to measure just how much time had passed. Time was a funny thing now. It didn’t seem to exist, to apply to Jiho. And yet it was so clearly touching Taewoon. The stubborn human refused to take any blood from the vampire even though they both knew it would keep Taewoon young. Vibrant. Full of life.

Jiho felt like he was being tortured. His adopted brother was fading and Jiho was unable to do anything. That was a lie. He was allowed to watch. This felt like the cruelest sort of fate.

Then Taewoon got sick.

It was an illness that a doctor couldn’t help with. Something in Taewoon was wrong. He even started smelling wrong. And still he refused Jiho’s magical blood.

“We all have our time, little brother,” Taewoon said one night. The end was near and they both knew it. Jiho just didn’t want to admit it.

A few nights later, he found Taewoon’s body.

For the first time in his life, Jiho was alone. He had no one. No Taewoon. No mother. No Jiseok. Hell, even his old master was long gone by now. The loneliness he found himself in was Jiho’s own personal hell. It was perfectly made for him, each part of it designed by fate to torture him. Every day, every night, slogged past him in a heavy, painful cloud of misery.

Winter came.

He felt drawn to a form trying to huddle for warmth. The misery, the loneliness, the pain that Jiho himself carried. They all clung to the guy. He was young. Not a child but he couldn’t be much more than Jiho’s own physical age. He might even be younger. And he was desperately trying not to be noticed. It was a feeling that Jiho himself was all too familiar with.

He wanted to help. A vendor nearby was selling blankets. Jiho bought one. Put it around the young human.

The misery inside Jiho lifted a little. It didn’t vanish but now? It wasn’t threatening to overwhelm him. And each time his mind tried to dwell on all that had gone wrong in his life, he pulled out that slight happiness he’d felt in that moment.  


Winter passed. He found himself wondering about the young man. Was he okay? Hell, was the kid even still alive? It seemed impossible. Winter had been cold even to him that year. Did that young man realize how much he’d helped Jiho?

And then Jiho found him again.

\---

Minhyuk sat on the couch, head between his knees. He just could not get the sight of Minseo’s body out of his head. How pale and bloody she’d been. She was dead.

Minseo, that Minseo, had never been his favorite person. She was cold and calculating. Ruthless and determined. She was a constant in his life though. She’d been one of the first to take an interest in Minhyuk. When it’d come time to figure out his role, she’d been the one who had pulled him towards intelligence. It was her field too. She taught him some of her tricks. And while Minhyuk wouldn’t call them close, she was the one he’d been closest to too (before Kyung entered his life anyways).

He didn’t know how he’d managed to hold it all together earlier when they’d been cleaning up the mess. He knew he wasn’t holding it together now.

Minseo was gone. Minhyuk could understand why she’d been silenced. She was scary. Dangerous. It just didn’t feel real, that she was dead. He knew that for a fact. He’d helped load her body into that car after all.

To make matters worse, the guy that had been kept in Minhyuk’s spare room had been there too. And he’d recognized Minhyuk. That was the only way to interpret the dark looks he’d been shooting Minhyuk. Part of Minhyuk was relieved to see the guy. To know that he’d made it out of that situation and was okay. The look of pure hatred though...Minhyuk understood it but it still hurt. He knew he wasn’t perfect and that he had a past that wasn’t all that great.

But he was trying.

Wasn’t that enough? He knew the answer without even asking it. No. It didn’t matter how much he did, how much good he was now putting back into the world. He couldn’t change the past. But repeating those mistakes and never learning were things that Minhyuk could also no longer let himself do.

He could never make it up to that guy. Guilt slammed into Minhyuk as he realized that he still didn’t even know the guy’s name. How horrible was that?

Another question popped into his mind. How had those two known to come? The answer was probably Yukwon. After all, the guy had been talking with one, the one that Minhyuk hadn’t had locked up in his apartment, for a long while. They had seemed to know each other. Talk about terrifying.

Did all vampires know each other? What was the history here? Minhyuk had no knowledge, no background, about any of this. He felt blind and that was not a good thing. He felt cornered. Trapped. Would Zico and Jaehyo turn him over to the other vampire? Would they want revenge?

Minhyuk did not have much experience with normal human things. He had a little experience with vampires. He knew hunters. He knew what would happen in that world. He’d get turned over. Tortured. Hell, that was still a possibility if any of them ever got their hands on him.

A hand, warm and gentle, started rubbing his back. The touch made Minhyuk jump in surprise. He glanced over and saw Kyung. Minhyuk wasn’t exactly surprised to see that it was Kyung. Honestly, he should have known.

“You knew her, didn’t you?” Kyung asked. Then he made a noise. “Of course you did. You told me all about her.” The hand continued to rub gentle circles on Minhyuk’s back. The gesture was comforting.

They sat there, quiet, for awhile. It was nice. Then Kyung broke the peace. “You told me about her. A few others too but you told me the most about her.”

Minhyuk nodded. No reason or need to deny that. “I figured she was the one most likely to come looking for me,” he answered.

“What’s the relationship between you two?” Kyung asked the one question Minhyuk hadn’t wanted to think about. To answer.

Minhyuk didn’t know an easy way to explain it. Plus, he knew it would only make Kyung feel sorry for him. He looked up and sighed. “She’s the closest I’ve got to family,” Minhyuk finally said. “When I was first taken in by them, she was the one who looked out for me.”

And now she was gone. And he’d helped dispose of her body. Helped cover up her death. Minhyuk felt like puking.

The silence was back. It wasn’t calming or relaxing this time though. Somehow that just made Minhyuk feel even worse.

Footsteps. A loud, happy voice. Jihoon was coming up the stairs and he sounded excited about something. The fact that he was happy right now felt wrong.

Jihoon quieted when he got to the room. “What’s wrong?” He asked. His voice was still impossibly loud but then, Minhyuk had come to learn that that was just how the guy was. He was loud but sweet and he had a good heart.

Kyung, his handsome angel of a boyfriend, answered for both of them. “It’s been a rough night.”

What an understatement. Minhyuk almost laughed. “It’s been a fucked up night,” he clarified.

Kyung’s hand on his back stopped. “You can cuss?” He sounded genuinely shocked. It was adorable.

Minhyuk smiled but there was no humor, no joy, behind it. Right now, with the shock wearing off, he felt almost upset. The logical art of his brain understood things. But now his emotions were threatening him. He hated the feeling. He’d been taught since forever to keep his emotions locked away but it seemed like the closer he got to Kyung, the less control he had over those awful, wonderful emotions.

“Is this related to the blood outside?” Jihoon asked.

Kyung’s face went pale. “There’s still blood?” He asked, his voice a horrified whisper.

Jihoon nodded. “Not much,” he answered. “Just a few drops in the snow. Nothing major but…” he shrugged, “living here, you get good at noticing stuff like that.”

“A hunter spotted Zico and Jaehyo-hyung,” Kyung said. It wasn’t like they could keep the information from Jihoon. Everyone would have to know what happened tonight.

Jihoon went pale at those words. “What happened?” He asked but it was clear from his tone that he already guessed and really didn’t want to know just in case he was right.

“Jaehyo-hyung drank from her. She’s dead.” Kyung sighed and shot a glance towards Minhyuk. “I listened in on the conversation Yukwon-hyung was having.”

Minhyuk wanted to be angry at Jaehyo. And maybe he would be the next time he saw Jaehyo. Right now, he just felt tired and drained again.

“Who was she?” Jihoon asked. He was looking at Minhyuk.

This was going to keep happening, Minhyuk realized. He’d have to have this conversation several more times. Just the thought was exhausting. He didn’t want to deal with this anymore. He knew he’d have to but just...not now. So he stood up, heading towards the room he shared with Kyung.

“She was my sister,” he said in a quiet voice before he shut the door behind him.

\---

Jaehyo sat in the old, dusty courtyard. He recognized this place. He had lived here once, a very long time ago. When he was barely more than a child, the lady who lived here had bought him from his family. She’d brought him here. And this had been his own personal hell for the next several years.

His self, the dark part of him, sat beside him. This was the part of him that held all of Jaehyo’s fears. The part that held his sadness. And that was why it was so hard to look at that version of himself. When he saw this version, he saw parts of himself that he didn’t want to see.

“Why am I back here?” Jaehyo asked. He could remember being in this place before. He’d come here when he’d been turned. But he also clearly remembered the part where he wasn’t supposed to be able to return.

The other part of him stood, holding out a hand that was identical to Jaehyo’s own. Not that that was a surprise. They were two sides of the same whole.

“I tried to hold him back,” Jaehyo’s other self replied, his voice mournful.

Jaehyo stood, taking the hand. “He?” That didn’t sound good.

A nod replied. The dark side, a misnomer Jaehyo realized now that he was getting a better look at this version of himself, lead him towards an opened door. Just looking at it filled Jaehyo with dread. He recognized this door. Remembered it. He’d run away from it.

“He got out,” he heard his voice say. “I’ve done my best to keep him here but…”

They both knew who had been locked in that room. Jaehyo had tried to deny it for as long as possible but he could not do that any longer. Not with the truth right in front of him. He wasn’t a soul split into two parts. No. Not two.

Three parts. Three versions of himself. And while the sadness, the fear, all the parts of himself that he didn’t want to acknowledge were hard to look at, he could accept them. The part he’d tried so hard to keep locked up was the part of himself that Jaehyo didn’t want to even admit was real.

He peered in, trying to something. He couldn’t. It was too dark to see anything in there. He just sighed and heard his other self make the same sound. The fact that no one was in the room was disappointing but not a surprise.

“Do you know where he went?” Jaehyo asked.

His other self shook his head. “He ran away from me. And then you returned.”

Jaehyo nodded. Any other time he would have thought the other person was lying but this was himself. It was impossible to lie to himself.

“We’re not going back until we find him, are we?” Jaehyo asked himself.

He didn’t wait for an answer. They both knew what it was anyways.

Together, the two of them searched but the third part of their soul was good at hiding. THen again, he knew them. Knew how they thought. Darkness started to fall. They made a fire in the middle of the courtyard.

Time was weird in this place. It felt unreal, both stretching by into forever and flashing by in an instant. They didn’t need to eat or sleep in this place. So the two of them sat there. Conversation wasn’t needed.

And then there were three.

Looking at the other two versions of himself, Jaehyo realized that the three of them weren’t identical. The side of him that personified their fears and regrets was the version of himself that had walked away from Jiho. Of the three of them, Jaehyo realized that that version of himself looked most similar to himself. And maybe that was why he hadn’t noticed they weren’t identical until this moment.

The third portion of their soul was very visibly different. He wore dirt-stained clothes. No amount of washing would ever be able to save those clothes. His hair was long and unkempt, a true mess. He was dirty, physically covered in enough dirt that it was impossible to see his true skin tone. It would take a lot of scrubbing for this version to even be considered in the realm of clean. Jaehyo remembered. And then he let himself look at his own face. Anger marred it, twisting the features into a snarl.

This was the face, the self, he’d worn when he lived on the streets. This was who he was before Jiho.

“You tried to forget,” his anger snarled. “You tried to keep me locked up in this place.”

His sorrow looked away. Shame radiated from him as he tried to justify that action. “You aren’t part of us anymore.”

**”I AM ALWAYS PART OF US!”** Anger roared.  


The truth was real and undeniable. And that’s why it hurt to much. They all knew it.

“You hurt,” Jaehyo said, his voice soft. “When we see you, you remind us of who we were.”

“You’re still me. We’re still the same,” Anger spat at them. He was so upset.

Jaehyo nodded. “We are.” He could see and admit it now. “Trying to deny you, to hide you, anymore doesn’t make sense.” Especially when he understood his anger now. He turned to his sorrow. “You try to protect me from him,” he nodded towards their anger.

Sorrow was still looking away, refusing to meet their gazes. That was okay. Sorrow’s role was to be the coward. To regret and dwell on their mistakes.

“We have been blind,” Jaehyo continued, turning back to their anger. At first, that version of himself flared with fury but when Jaehyo didn’t flinch, didn’t run away, his anger just deflated into himself. “You protected us when we needed you.”

“You still need me.” Anger tried to sound fierce but he just sounded like a whiny child.

Jaehyo nodded. “We do,” he agreed. “You’ve been trying to protect us all along. We,” he gestured to himself and their sorrow, “were just too scared and ashamed to see that.”

He had tried to forget this version of himself. After he’d reached a point where life was happy, safe, and stable, he’d tried so hard to leave his past and this angry version of himself behind. He’d been ashamed. There was no reason for it though. This version, his anger, had been trying to save him in his own way.

“You wouldn’t listen to me.” Anger sounded so pitiful now. Jaehyo wanted to hug him but he knew he’d just be pushed away. “I tried. I even reached out to him.”

Jiho.

His anger had reached out to Jiho. Shock ran through Jaehyo at that revelation.

“I don’t think he heard me.” Anger sounded glum now. “I don’t think he likes me.”

Yep. Anger had turned into the child that he was. It was painful to see. Sorrow moved to comfort their anger. That was his role after all. Sorrow took on their pain.

“He’s forgotten you,” sorrow said, holding the angry child and hugging him. “But you are us and we are you. And if he cares about us, that means he cares about you as well.”

Jaehyo nodded in agreement. He walked over to his selves, reaching out to them. “We are one.”


	58. bye bye good bye bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Block B - Movie's Over

Something in him felt different. Jaehyo felt more at peace now than he had ever felt in his entire life. He felt right. There was no other way to describe it. He was so distracted by how he felt that it took him several moments before he realized that he was laying in a familiar bed. How in the world had he ended up here? The last thing he remembered was walking outside with Jiho.

Jaehyo sat up. He noticed a familiar sleeping head at his side. A smile came to Jaehyo’s face. He couldn’t help it. Jiho just looked so perfectly at peace in his sleep.

His sitting up must have woken Jiho. The man blinked several times. “Jae?” He asked, voice groggy with sleep.

Jaehyo nodded. “Yeah.” Then, before he could forget or get distracted, he asked, “what happened?”

Jiho yawned as he sat up. He winced. “A lot.”

That did not sound good.

“Tell me,” Jaehyo ordered. His tone, forceful and commanding, surprised him. He didn’t sound like himself and yet he did. Somehow this was him. This was the version of himself that was whole. He almost jumped up in surprise as he realized that was the difference he felt when he’d woken up. He felt whole now. Complete.

Jiho looked at him, surprise all over his face. No doubt at Jaehyo’s tone. That surprised Jaehyo so of course it would surprise Jiho. But then Jiho seemed to listen to the words. “I...what is the last thing you remember?”

“We were going outside,” Jaehyo answered. A girl’s face flashed in his mind. He frowned. “Was...was there a girl?”

Jiho nodded slowly. “Yes,” he said. There was an emotion in his face that Jaehyo couldn’t identify.

“What happened?” Jaehyo felt like he already knew but he needed to hear it said anyways. He had to. This was something where he needed clarity.

“She started talking. She was saying things that seemed odd at the same time,” Jiho answered. “Then she reached into her pocket. That’s…” he faltered.

“Tell me,” Jaehyo repeated, that demanding tone still in his voice.

“You drank from her.” Jiho looked like those words pained him to say.

Jaehyo wasn’t dumb. And he was fluent in Jiho. He knew that Jiho wasn’t saying. Jiho was trying to be kind, trying to spare his feelings but that was just ridiculous. It needed to be said so Jaehyo said it. “I killed her.”

Those words made Jiho wince. Jaehyo found that he wasn’t actually bothered by them. It was a fact. One that could not be undone and one that he would have to live with for the rest of his. It probably helped that he couldn’t actually remember the event. He knew himself and knew that he had to have had a good reason for it even if he couldn’t remember the reason. Something had driven him to that point.

“How long ago was it?” Jaehyo knew that some time had passed. He and Jiho were both in different clothes after all.

“Three nights ago,” the older vampire answered after a long, painfully long, moment.

A numb sort of shock washed over Jaehyo. He knew some time had passed but he hadn’t expected to hear that number. He’d figured a few hours. Maybe even a night. But not three.

Jiho stood, stretching his long arms. He was wearing short sleeves, showing off the tattoos on them. It felt weird to see Jiho in a short sleeved shirt. He normally saved those for summer. Then again, Jaehyo wasn’t exactly complaining about the choice.

“According to Kyung,” Jiho said, not looking at Jaehyo, “she was Minhyuk’s older sister.”

Wrong. Jaehyo could feel her memories lurking inside him. And yet, as he considered what her memories were telling him, it wasn’t completely wrong. “She was looking for Minhyuk,” Jaehyo said, the words coming to him. “She followed Kyung here.” He didn’t even realize what he’d said until after he heard his own voice saying them.

Jiho turned, finally looking at him. The man nodded, a look of understanding on his face. It was a relief to be with someone who just understood. Jaehyo didn’t have to explain how he knew this. Jiho understood where the information was coming from and how Jaehyo obtained it.

“That explains why she was watching the house,” Jiho said. “We had a few guesses but no one knew for sure.”

She’d come because she’d wanted to find Minhyuk. She’d been worried about him. And she’d been scared. The vampires didn’t scare her. Okay, yes, she’d been scared as Jaehyo drank from her but in general vampires hadn’t scared her. No, her fears had been of the mortal variety. Death scared her and it’d been hovering near her even before she’d ran into them. There was something wrong with her, a sickness with medicine that caused her blood to feel like it was poison in her veins. Poison to him and poison to her. And the medicine wasn’t working.

The rush of information hit Jaehyo, making him dizzy. He leaned back, leaning against the headboard as he tried to absorb that wave. “She wanted to say goodbye to him,” he said, voice a broken sounding whisper.

Jiho watched him for a moment. It looked like he was internally debating something but it wasn’t clear to Jaehyo just what that might be. “I called Daesung,” Jiho continued on. “He came and helped clean up everything. At least, that’s what Yukwon told me. He was the one who oversaw everything.”

Jaehyo nodded. Then frowned. “I…” he paused, not entirely sure how this was going to sound. “I think I called him to me?” It sounded ridiculous even to his own ears.

Jiho shrugged which was definitely not the reaction Jaehyo thought he might receive. “It’s possible. You...you weren’t yourself then.”

Considering the fact that Jaehyo couldn’t even remember it, he could believe that.

There was something else. Jiho wasn’t saying whatever it was but looking at him now, it was so clear. “What is it?” Jaehyo asked, not letting the older vampire get away with not explaining what the issue was.

Immediately, guilt flooded Jiho’s face and the older vampire cursed. He knew he’d been caught. “You know me too well,” he complained. The complaint was half-hearted at best though.

The only response Jaehyo had to that was to smile and nod. That’s what centuries with the same person did. It gave him the ability to know Jiho better than the man knew himself. Granted, it also worked in reverse and Jiho knew him better than anyone else too.

“Daesung and Yukwon weren’t alone.” Jiho sat on the bed next to him. He had an air of exhaustion around him now. That only meant one thing. Something bad, really bad, had happened.

There weren’t a lot of guesses at what that might be. There was one in particular that seemed obvious though so Jaehyo asked. “Minhyuk?”

Jiho nodded, swallowing hard. “Remember Daesung’s missing guy?”

For a moment, Jaehyo was confused. He did remember that Daesung had had a guy go missing but he didn’t see how that was related to Minhyuk. Unless...crap. Oh no. No, not that. Shit that was bad but he still had to confirm it just so he could fully understand just how bad it was. “He was involved in that guy’s disappearance.”

Jiho nodded again, a grim look on his face. “The missing guy was kept at Minhyuk’s place and Minhyuk was essentially his jailer from the way it was explained to me.”

Shit. That was beyond not good. That had flown right past not good and flown straight into fucked up. Minhyuk had been a clear and undeniable part of that whole situation.

“What happened?”

There was no way that was the end of things. Jaehyo felt sick at the thought. Something like this...it could start a war between the two vampire houses. Their boys could get hurt. Or worse.

“We’re okay. Kind of.” Jiho shook his head, showing that he clearly did not believe his own words. “It’s complicated.”

Jaehyo didn’t doubt that. Nothing in their lives was ever simple. But he just couldn’t see how any of this would be okay. So he asked about it. “How?”

Jiho looked almost proud of himself as he spoke. “Because of you,” he said. “You and that friendship you had with Daesung.” Then the pride faded. “That friendship is over now.”

Not at all a surprise.

Jiho continued on, not waiting for Jaehyo to make any sort of comment about the situation. “Any friendship between the houses is over. No aid can ever be given again.”

That was not the way Jiho spoke. “You’re quoting someone,” Jaehyo guessed.

A nod. “That was from the other vampire.”

Considering Jaehyo only knew of three vampires and two of them were in this room right now, it wasn’t hard to figure out who Jiho meant. “You spoke to him?”

“Phone call.”

Which explained why Jiho was alive and in one piece. “If anyone sees our household, they’re not going to be friendly. What that means...I’m not sure,” Jiho admitted. “He didn’t go into anymore detail.”

Jaehyo winced. He didn’t like the sound of that. No direct threat had been made but that didn’t sound good. It sounded like Seoul was no longer a safe place for them and their boys. And Jaehyo hated that. His boys were everything to him. Even “Minhyuk?”

“If he stays in the house, they can’t touch him,” Jiho answered. “If they catch him outside, he will not come back.”

Not alive anyways. Jiho didn’t say it but the words hung heavily in the air between them.

This was a mess. Jaehyo knew he had just slept for three days (apparently) but hearing all this was exhausting. He stretched his arms out, snagging Jiho and pulling him close. It was a surprise how compliant Jiho was but then again, they were in the middle of a monster of a mess. And Jiho had been dealing with it all alone for three nights.

Jiho leaned against him, quiet, as the full gravity of their reality set in. This was insane and they…there was an obvious solution. The thought slapped Jaehyo across the face. He knew exactly why Jiho hadn’t suggested it though. The guy probably hadn’t even thought of it.

“Busan.”

Shock didn’t even begin to cover the expression on Jiho’s face. Not a surprised. Jaehyo had always refused to go to the southern part of Korea. Even when they were in a country torn apart by war and had been in serious danger in Seoul, Jaehyo had refused. Hell, he’d almost gotten them killed before thanks to his refusal to go that far south.

“We got to Busan,” Jaehyo repeated. “It’s a big city, big enough that we can live there without sticking out. No one runs the risk of getting into trouble for living their life. It’s the most sensible solution.” And it kept their boys safe and out of immediate potential danger.

Funny but a week ago, Jaehyo would have preferred death. But the thought of returning to Busan didn’t sound awful anymore. For some reason, the dread that had always filled him was gone. He didn’t know how or what had happened but there was something within Jaehyo himself that was different now.

\---

**Epilogue**

It was relaxing. That was the one thought that ran through Jaehyo’s head as he sat on the porch, rocking back and forth on the swing they’d managed to get put up last night.

The last several months had been a whirlwind of activity. Moving a vampire household across the country was no easy feat. They’d had to find a suitable property and then modify it to meet their unique needs. At least Jiho had been able to move himself professionally without too many issues. Then again, Zico wasn’t exactly known for dealing with people face to face.

Not all of them had made the move.  
Jaehyo, obviously, had come and so had Jiho. Minhyuk had come too. He hadn’t even stopped to think. It wasn’t a surprise though. The guy basically had a hit out on him. Jihoon and Taeil had come too. Seunghoon, Mino, and two other friends of theirs, Seungyoon and Jinwoo, had come along. Apparently those four were trying to sell themselves as a group. Jiho liked their sound and was trying to help them. It was an odd situation. Personally, Jaehyo was trying to stay far away because he just did not get it.

Kyung had stayed behind. At least, for a short while anyways. He was going to join them soon, once his school year ended. At least Kyung wasn’t alone in Seoul. Yukwon had stayed too.

Saying goodbye to Yukwon had been hard. It’d been harder than leaving Jiho. Yukwon was staying in Seoul for good though because he’d decided to take his life into his own hands. He was finally growing up.

“You okay?” Jiho’s voice broke into his thoughts.

Jaehyo nodded. “Yeah. I was just think about Kwonnie again.”

“He’s fine,” Jiho reassured. “And you saw his message, right?”

Jaehyo nodded again. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he thought about that message. Yukwon had promised to come down for a visit this weekend. And he was bringing Sunhye with him.

Jaehyo couldn’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this, our story is over. There's nothing else to add. This is been a story of a year. Literally. The first chapter was posted 1 year ago today. I want to thank everyone who has gone on this journey with me. You have been amazing! I hope you enjoyed this fic ^^


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